Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Are you ready to untangle from your past, recover from heartbreak,
and revive your life? This is soul CPR with your
host and Papa Yode. We've all had soul crushing experiences
and lost ourselves in our pain, but there is a
way out. On this podcast, Amazon best selling author, award
winning life coach and advice columnist and Papa Yode helps
(00:26):
us navigate the path from heartbreak to healing. So now
please welcome the host of Soul CPR and Papa Yode.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
So what do you get when nine incredible women for
their love, their wisdom and their recipes for life into
one man's journey? A legacy of heart led living. And
this week on soul CPR, I'm joined by Johnny Tan,
author of From My Mama's Kitchen, as he shares how
(01:01):
the maternal guidance of nine moms helped shape his life, leadership,
and purpose. So pull up a chair. You're going to
want a seat this soulful table now. Johnny Tan is
a social entrepreneur, an experiential keynote speaker, a career and
life coach, a mentor, a talk show host, and the
(01:24):
founder and CEO of From My Mama's Kitchen, a five
h one c three nonprofit Genius Zone educational platform, community
enrichment program advocating personal success begins at home, the power
of unconditional love and living and performing in our Genius
(01:44):
soon to build a better world. And we'll talk about
that with him later in the show. He is also
the publisher of Inspirations for Better Life, a digital magazine,
owner of Words Have Power Dot Store, and his multi
award winning and best selling author. Johnny's experienced a spiritual
awakening when he was writing his first book from My
(02:06):
Mom's Kitchen, Food for the Sole Recipes for Living, which
honors his nine moms, and recently he released the fifteenth
anniversary edition of this book, and it's all about the
unconditional motherly love and practical, timeless principles for living life
that he learned from these nine different women that he
(02:28):
calls moms, his teachers, coaches, counselors, and his cheerleaders throughout life.
This fifteenth edition, this Recipes for Living for his nine Moms,
he talks about his conversations about life, love and laughter,
and he's released this addition to honor and celebrate the
(02:49):
impact that these nine moms have had on his life
and leaving this legacy of love now. Johnny has also
been awarded the prestigious twenty twenty one Top one hundred
Visionaries in Education by the Global Forum for Education and Learning,
and in twenty twenty two he was invited to be
executive contributor to the Global Brains magazine. All of that
(03:11):
said more than that, he's just an amazing human being
and he happens to be my friend, and he's publisher
of the Inspirations for Better Living magazine, where I do
have my advice colin. Dear Annie, Johnny, welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Thank you so much. Ann. I tell you what, it's
such a pleasure to be here, and I just keep
my mouth shut and keep letting you talk.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
I love it well.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
The love.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
We met actually when I was doing a podcast tour
promoting my book, The Gift of Shift, and it was
just such a pleasure and we connected right away. And
I think in my bio it was something about I
could have had my Dear Annie column years ago because
people were always saying I was such a good listener
and giving advice, and you offered me my own Dear
(04:02):
Any column.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
There you go, there you go.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
We've connected since well, let's get into this journey with
you with nine moms because it's such a beautiful story
to share, and in honor of Mother's Day, because last week,
Johnny on the show, I talked about moms, but it
was also about a lot of hurt around moms, whether
we had moms that struggled to be moms, or we
(04:28):
never knew our moms, or whatever our story was with
our moms. So I'm so excited this week, and I
talked last week about bringing you on the show this
week in a way to now honor women who may
not be a biological mother to someone but step up
and step into someone's life as these women have for you.
(04:49):
So take us back to the beginning. How this journey
of motherhood and mentorship for you take us back to
Malaysia and very thank you.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
You know, it's really amazing. I mean my Malaysian mom
and basically my adopted mom. They grew up during the war,
so life is tough and was tough back then in Malaysia.
On top of that, she had several of what you
call it miscarriages, and after the second miscarriage, she adopted
(05:26):
my sister from a different family. Obviously. And then on
the third one, she was actually pregnant for about seven
eight months and she had a late term miscarriage and
it was a boy, and so it was really I mean,
just speaking about it, I just cannot imagine what she
(05:47):
went through. And she adopted the boy, and the boy
passed on in about I think a month and a
half two months, who knows. Bat then when you talk
about crypt death, you know, things like that thinks that
who knows, you know, things happened. And then here my
(06:09):
maternal mom, who happened to be a distant cousin on
my dad's side, would keep on pointing to her tummy
and said, hey, if this is a boy, y'all could
have it. No, And I was like, and then my
mom like looking kind of odd, And my mom and
my dad actually went to in Asia. She went to
(06:30):
see a sage and the sage told them because my
mom and my dad was concerned. You know, look head
boy at the late term miscarriage, adopted the boy, and uh,
it didn't make it. And so now you know, here
(06:50):
obviously we have no idea you know at that time,
with the baby's gonna be. But you know, we're gonna adopt,
and they apparently somehow found out that I was a
boy and or determine that, you know, like this guy.
You know, no, this is a boy. It's meant for you.
That's what the sage said. And what's interesting about it.
(07:11):
If you look at my hand, you know, it's it's
they have to cross right here. And what happened is
that it goes all the way down the lifeline or
whatever we want to call it. My doctor dad has
it on his right hand. I wasn't even born yet now,
and the sage told my parents, this boy has that line.
(07:35):
Oh and yeah, to talk it off. Of course I
found out about this years later. There will come a
time when the boy has to go far away. The
further he goes, the better off he is, and you're
going to have to let him go. Now we're talking
about Malaysia in the early sixties and so forth, Are
(07:56):
you kidding me? I mean the furtherest will go. It's
like next to Singapore, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Yeah. So, having said that, the opportunity came when I
was eighteen years old to come to the United States
to go to college at Louisiana State University, and my
mom reminded my dad remember what the sage said, because
apparently everything that the Sage have given them I have known.
(08:23):
I do not know about it. It's all checked. Uhh yeah,
okay uhhh, And reminded my dad that we're gonna have
to let him go.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Wow. What a story.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah, And it's amazing. And when you take the globe
and you drill a hole through it, Malacca, Malaysia and
bat Ruge Louisiana, you're talking about as far as you
can get. Yeah, yeah, you know, and pulling behold things.
(08:55):
Just it's amazing, I think the best way to put it.
You know, it's like in life for me. And anyway,
if somebody would do uh back then oh yeah, you
know Johnny Than, I'm welcome to earth and somebody said,
oh yeah you are. This is your fault and this
is how you're going to live your life.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Yeah right, yeah, it would never never imagine. So as
an eighteen year old, what was it like for you
to literally move across the globe from Malaysia to the US.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
What was that expect The drive was curiosity for me
because I've always been curious about things. It's a natural tendency.
I was never afraid to check things out, you know.
So that was a great wonderful uh, you know, opportunity.
But the uniqueness and is this everything is kind of
(09:54):
like we talked about this textbook chapter one, right, Okay,
So I finished my thing being born in Malaysia. When
I got on the plane flying from Paula Lampo to
Hong Kong, my seat mate was a Hong Kong lady
who is married to the British guy, so she was
telling me all about the world. From Hong Kong to Soul, Korea,
(10:19):
my seat mate was a singer from New York who
was doing a tour in Asia, so she was telling
me all about the United States, the Bronx places not
to go. Yeah, so it was very very interesting. And
then in Soul Korea, hole and behold while waiting in
(10:41):
line in transit, so every one of us have to
fly into Hawaii, uh, and then because the port of entry,
and then from there I'm flying to LA and Dallas
and bat Rouge. There was a gentleman in front of me,
Hong guy from Alabama, and he was trying to fly
of course, from Hawaii to San Francisco have a heavy
(11:05):
Southern draw. The Korean ticket lady couldn't understand him, so
he was like this, he turned around, young man just
took Korean. I said, no, sir, but I understand what
you're trying to do. Maybe we Asian kind of speak
in the way that we can understand each other. Let
me help you out. So I explained to the lady
(11:28):
when he wanted to fly and so forth. So he
was happy. It was really great. And then before you
know it, of course, he says, so what's your story.
Why do you come to the United States? I said, well,
I'm going to resident Stant University for college, you know,
spring semester. And then I have no idea about SEC football.
(11:57):
Yeah yeah, I mean it was like all right.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
You know, an you let me tell you something point.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Oh he loved it, all right. It was so funny.
And he said, I want you to meet my my
business part and maybe y'all could have dinner in La
because by the time we arrived with you at dinner time.
And I said sure. And that's how I met Ben Wisdom,
who technically is my foster father so to speak, because
(12:25):
through him, I met my gallant foster mom in Papa Blah, Missouri.
And so yeah, you know it just naturally happened. But
from second way from that story, what's interesting though, and
again we talked about, you know, like it's if like
somebody had written a novel with me. Because a year later,
when my father passed away in Malaysia, it was in
(12:49):
the spring, well prior to that. I take that back,
because I was here in the spring, and man had
traveled back to Asia that lake fall, uh early fall
that year that we met. He had sectuate and met
my parents and telling them, don't worry me and Carol
(13:10):
will take care of Johnny if anything happens or whatever
beneaths us. We're there. I mean, as a kid to
think about stuff like that, you know, but I'm sure
as parents that's a big deal, especially halfway around and
knowing that it's not like exactly my parents can just
jump on the plane and yeah and so hold and behold.
(13:35):
A year later, when my father passed, when he was
on his trip, he went to visit my mom and
my sister. So for so, I mean, like wow, when
you look back, oh my god, this is a man,
you know. Yeah, yeah, and so, but when I was
in college, I met my Southern Belt mom. She was
(13:56):
my host family and I call a nickname her Southern
Belt because she's originally from New Orleans. And you listen
back rush very wonderful lady, and everyone has their own.
She's very frim and proper, really really wonderful. And I
think the biggest thing that she impacted my life at
such a young age at that time was the thing
(14:18):
that we talked about recipes while living life. It says, Johnny,
I just want to let you know one thing. Your
charm will always open doors, but it's your authentic integrity
character that will keep doors open.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
What a beautiful statement. And it's a perfect time for
us to segue for our first commercial break, and we're
going to take it from there. But I love how
your connection started with just your meeting people, being that
authentic person offering to help someone and going from there.
(14:56):
So don't go for everyone. We'll be back with Johnny
Tan and more.
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Speaker 2 (17:04):
Welcome back, everyone, and thank you for tuning into SOULCYPR today.
I'm Anne Papiota, your host, and joining me today is
my special guest and friend, Johnny Tan And we're talking
about his book From My Mama's Kitchen and learned lots
of recipes for life because he had nine different women
that he calls moms. And we're up to the part
of his personal story where he's arrived now in Baton Rouge, Louisiana,
(17:29):
and he has a host family and his Southern Belt mom,
and she gave him some beautiful little remembrance about his
charm and his authenticity. So talk about these life lessons
in the kitchen and around the fact that there were
so much there was so much learning and sharing in
(17:51):
the kitchen. Talk about that was there ever a specific
meal that you remember where you learned something?
Speaker 3 (18:01):
The biggest one I would say, this is very interesting
with Eleanora my at that time of us just studying
out because I didn't actually learn how to cook till
I got to the United States. You know, it's like
because all this time my mom was cooking back home,
and I was the sign for yeah, the only child
that loved to hang out in the kitchen because I
(18:22):
would be the family taster. Because my sister, Yeah, my
sister was six years older than I am, and so, uh,
she's a working woman so to speak. Like so we
at that generation, Oh, we women don't cook, you know,
no kitchen. So it's really funny. But I enjoy it
because I just enjoyed taste of food. And then in
(18:46):
the United States, I think the the most impactful was,
you know, we talked sometimes we take it for granted,
but Thanksgiving mm hmm. Believe it or not. People may
not realize that, but you know, you've traveled different cultures,
different things, You've seen. There are no cultures out there
(19:07):
that really have truly a holiday for Thanksgivings. Well grateful
what are we being? And so that very first Thanksgiving
was very powerful because it was for the first time
and my mom, Eleanor, she invites us about everybody down.
(19:28):
I mean it's like literally we have two sets of
big table and a small set of kids, stable and
so forth. And so during the process we would go around,
what are you thankful for this year? And and you know,
like everybody's got to say something. And then when it
comes to me for the first time, I realized that,
(19:50):
you know, we take it for granted. We don't thank anybody, right,
I assume you know it. Then it asses me to wow,
I'm the United States. What eleven months later, nine months,
ten months later, I'm so thankful for this opportunity to
connect with people. But most importantly, I'm so thankful that
(20:12):
my parents trusted me, because it's almost like a one
way ticket because we're not a rich family. It's not like, uh,
you know, I'll be back next month that yeah, yeah,
you don't want that way, and so it's amazing. So
I think that will be the most powerful thing. It's
(20:34):
the power of gratitude. Gratitude actually cultivates blessing from that perspective,
And I learned that from a standpoint of you know,
don't take things for granted, take a moment each day
to just you know, whether in the middle of the day,
in the evening or early in the morning. And I
(20:55):
do that actually at night, just to kind of go
through and I'm talking about some funny city this stuff.
Before I go to bed, I might say thank you
for giving me the last can of pineapple the.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Yea, it may be you never know.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
That's interesting.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
That's interesting. So and we got to share this past
Thanksgiving together, which was lovely, and you with us those
Thanksgiving memories you had with the different moms in the States.
What inspired you to actually write the book and to
share these different stories of your moms and even you
include some of their actual recipes.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Yes, yeah, Well what happened is that, you know, it's
sort of embarrassing because this is a guy thing, because
it got to the point where I think it was
around the time when my mom was having back and
forth and then she was leaving for one last time,
and at that time, I know she was kind of
(22:00):
getting old. And it's around nineteen ninety nine or so
when I said, m M, I think I better start
writing all the food recipes that I like so that
I can have all that, you know, for me and
my sister. And I was trying to do a nice
deed for my sister, remember the one that doesn't cook
because the way women don't be in the kitchen guy,
(22:22):
you know. So I said, well, do we put some
recipes together? And so I did. I started writing, and
then a few months later I thought about, you know,
I liked when picking about food, my my Southern Belt
Mount cook and my Foster Mount cooked. I mean, they
(22:42):
had wonderful cooks. And so I started collecting recipes. But
seven years went by. I couldn't get the the project
off the ground. For some reason, there was something missing.
And so finally that you know went by and it
(23:04):
was like, okay. In two thousand and seven, my the
tel Foster mom always called me on New Year's Day
to wish me happy new and of course he says, Johnny,
when are you going to finish this cookbook? I hope
you finish it before I die. She was like something, Oh, yes, ma'am.
(23:26):
Of course I'm working on it right now. I'm studying it.
In April and I started sitting down every night and
starting I said, okay, I got to do this is crazy.
Seven years went by. I couldn't get this thing off
the ground. So as I sat down every night and
start writing all and behold what came from this whole
thing was the lessons, the wonderful conversations about life, love
(23:50):
and laughter that cult over you know, kitchen table or
prepping food and so forth. And that is, like you say,
it's it's not you know, let me pull up my
float shot here and show you things. Now it's just conversations,
but meaningful conversations. Life lessons is being passed down. It's
(24:11):
like family hand loom. That the kind of things that
is far more valuable. And so I just decide where
now this is something much more important. Let's talk about
the wisdom of motherly love, the things that we're tasted
in life, that you know, and so forth. So that's
how the book was given birth. And having said that,
(24:32):
I finished it in nine months, and I'm so glad
I did that, because in hindsight, three of my moms
would not have made it in the book if I've
just focused on the recipes. Remember that I wanted to
collect even though I broke great with three other wonderful ladies.
They didn't they have recipes didn't kind of click in.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Okay, my bad.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Was so funny, and so we started laughing about that.
You know, it was like, no wonders if you could
write the thing for seven years.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Yeah, so you've got the mom, the Italian mom, of course,
the Malaysian mom. So tell us after Lsu, who's the
next mom.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
I met my brutual, progressive mom at the business function,
and then I met my sanguine savannah mom at the
business function. And then I met my text and earthly
mom as a as a business function as well. So
the business side of equation contributed because at advance and
(25:44):
all of a sudden this women were just naturally you
know there. And the one thing I do want to
point out to people, regardless when we talked about you know, love,
motherly love or family love or personal love, one has
to be ready to see in order to get Not
(26:04):
that they're bashing their love on me, but it's just
the natural, you know, situation that presents itself. I think
when you have those hot to hot conversations, it just
naturally happened, so to speak. And they were there to
nurture me and coach me and you know and celebrate
(26:25):
with me and so forth and likewise, and it was
I think also technically I was the youngest among all
the kids they are empty or whatever, they take.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
One more in, yes and share all that. So so
with the how's the book doing, because I know it's
won many awards, and what do you think has touched
people through your book?
Speaker 3 (26:59):
I think the biggest thing. What was interesting was when
I went out to do my book signing at the
various bonds and of all the independent bookstores and so forth.
Of course women love it, you know, like whoa, we
haven't man here talking about my man. I'm man. But
what caught me of God was man actually buys the
(27:23):
book and man that came up to me and shook
my hand and said, you know, I'm so glad you
wrote this book in my life. I had three months
in my life. I have four months, five months. And
that threw me off. And because we understood, because there
were times when in our lives, whether as a son
(27:45):
or even a daughter, come to think of it, right,
there are moments that we need that advice, that comfort,
and that's someone that happens to be able to step
in yes and so forth. And there was even one
situation where I was in the box and noble ju
where the guy was saying, oh, yeah, I have four moms.
(28:05):
You know this and all, and the wife had to
remind him, you've forgotten me so and so oh yeah, huh.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Oh, well that is quite special.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Yeah, yeah, I think that brought me off God, and
it really makes me feel good because then what happens
is that, you know, it also validates the point that
if we pay attention, the answers are all around. Sometimes
we take it for granted, we don't pay attention to
those things.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yeah. I love that, and I love that it's inspired
people to think about who in their lives has shown
up for them, because sometimes we get so stuck in
the actual assigned role of the biological mom and we
forget there's people that pull that role, or if we
get stuck in having the desire to be a biological
(28:56):
mom and if that didn't work out for us, but
how we can be that role for other people, and
that that is a rewarding and fulfilling in our lives
as well. Right, oh, go ahead ahead.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
Yeah. And one of the things also I point it
in the book is that is that when I know
you mentioned last week, you know that to talk about
the other side of the equation and so forth. But
the most important thing I can assure everyone, regardless of
the circumstance, no matter how acute it is. Your mom
(29:30):
do the best way she.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Knows how, right, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
So the expectation versus the anticipation and what you get
may not necessarily matched. But I can shure deep down
when it's all said and done, because the most important
thing that people sometimes don't realize, and again this is,
you know, to each its own. Now, don't get me wrong,
but especially for a woman that actually carries a baby
(29:57):
in them for nine months, trust me, you know, like
they say, unless you wear someone's shoes, you would never know.
I feel, trust me, yes.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Yes, you know. And I think about all these life
lessons from these different moms. But I go back even
to your birth mom. She had to let you go.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
First, right before your adopted parents had to let you
go when you moved so around the world. So there's
a series of this happening in your life for you
to have this full journey and very fulfilling, rewarding journey
that you've had in your life. And it's really quite
amazing how this all happened in the way, Like you said,
(30:39):
it's like a novel that you just were wrote into
and it just lived your life, but it is time
for our second break. When we come back, I want
to talk about love and leadership for.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
You and and how that has You've created a model
about it and your Genius Zone platform, so don't go
for everyone. It will be back with more so'lcpre.
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Speaker 2 (33:06):
And we are back. So, Johnny, I want to talk
about love as a leadership model because you've had a
career at the c suite level and now your own
businesses and and everything. So what does love led leadership
actually mean?
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Excellent question to understand love. Let memprove this way. From
the English language standpoint of view, love is love, and
then of course you got motherly love. I love you,
you know, man, woman, thing and baby and so forth.
In different cultures, actually of course they have you know love,
mom love, and you know partner love and all that.
(33:49):
But what I look at it is from the human
side of the equation. When Zoon said and done, we
are in the people business. And when you look at
that from that perspective, the connection that we met with people,
the connection that my various mom made with me, was
through the lens of love. And if you think about
(34:10):
it very carefully, when you talk about when you look
at things through the lens of love, it's only about
the other person. It's never about you. That's why you
have that sacrifice. Oh no, no, after last piece please,
Oh go ahead, that's fine. Yeah, that's lens of love.
There are two separate but equal forces that govern all
(34:31):
our decisions make professional and personal life. Love of fear.
Ear is about us. I can't do this, I can't
do that, you know, and so I got to stay
away from that one I guess, you know, but the
feeling is that it's not damn Actually, now I'm not
saying that's bad. I'm just saying that that it's a
(34:53):
balancing act and how we have to look at it.
And then from a business standpoint of view, from a leadership,
where is corporate or anything that we do in life.
To be honest with you, when you look at it,
when the people business, people buy from people. Having said now,
of course, if you in an emergency situation and situation
(35:13):
and you the only one that's got a pipe, yeah
I hate you, but I got to have it.
Speaker 4 (35:22):
Right.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
But in all actuality, people buy from people. And so
when you look at that, and this is the thing
that people don' understand. The biggest thing you hear right
now is entrepreneurs these days. You know, back then, uh
it's big corporations that said blah blah blah. You don't know,
maybe small business owners. Now you've got entrepreneurs, mom, entrepreneurs, entrepreneur,
(35:45):
that preneur. But you know what, when you were growing up,
when I was growing up, whether our mom or people
that we know right, our aunts or even our grandma,
we were selling some cookies on the side to make
business right. She's the mo entrepreneur. She's a sorepreneur. But
(36:08):
you know what, what sells the cookies when the people business.
The cookie mat is good. But you know what, I'm
buying it from Auntie Anne because I love her. She's
so nice, she's you know, she always give me extra
m hm. Right when the people as we focus on that.
(36:30):
And that's what I did when I first came in
into the from a business standpoint of view, working for
corporations and all that, and realized that we need to
focus on the people. We lead people, We manage situations.
Nobody likes to be managed. Everyone loves to be in
the right way, you know, this way, that way, because
(36:52):
everyone wants to succeed. Hmm. Everyone wants to do the
best they can. And if you show them and if
you show epathy, you show the genuineness in you know,
in cultivating them within them because everyone has the seat
of greatness. So we help the nurture that seed. We
(37:14):
help them grow within their own bubble of white confidence.
Believe me, they'll return back, do you. And that's how
you build organizations. And that's how I build my organization.
And maybe it as an example all.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Right, so you mothered it.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Yes, it was the same concept from from the standpoint,
but you use the organizational structure. And guess what. And
I always tell people this, it was very very interesting,
Like you know, that's why I talk about you know,
corporate family, genia zone and corporate family culture. Right. Uh,
we hear that big time also. But now, and of
(37:53):
course back then a few this was several you know,
a couple of decades ago where they introduced, oh we
corporate family. Corporate family does not mean that we just
have a birthday party once a month. Is it the
matter of the law or the spirit of the law
the letter of all yeah, oh yeah, we have Fridays.
You know, Friday is casual Friday. Everybody away what they want.
(38:18):
The spirit of the law is really engaging. I have
no fear in letting someone go in the business because
what happens is that they actually fire themselves because they
have job description, they have certain things they got to
get done. And guess what, even family family disowned family member. Yeah,
(38:43):
you know what I'm talking about. I mean, I'm not
going off attention. So it's the same thing. Why because
you no longer fit in our value The things that.
That's why we focus on the corporate culture, the values,
you know, those things that you're doing, and that makes
a big difference. And I'll always let someone go. You know,
(39:05):
it took a long time, that's okay, But I don't
have to cross the street when I run into them
and there on the across the street when they're running
to me, because I got nothing to hide. That's the best.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Yes, I love it so love led leadership in action.
You just gave us a great example with being able
to nurture and if it doesn't grow within that, then
it belongs somewhere else. And in that way, that's also
an active love to allow someone to grow somewhere else
that they don't fit within that environment. Right, And I
(39:45):
think a lot of people a way conflict and then
that doesn't that's not an active love to allow somewhere else, right.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
No, No, And there's so many thoughts of it, Okay,
I mean we just cannot discuss that just in a
few minutes right here. But to give you an one
full example, right, it's this. I'm in the company where
I we were growing restaurants to three restaurants a year,
and you know guess what we got a new restaurant
coming up, So technically, one would say, or in any business, right,
(40:18):
you want to put your best person, you know, way
off in the you know, in a tangent that's some
ninety miles away or whatever you want to call it, right,
But guess what, it doesn't always happen that way in
my situation where I might go to the number two
guy because the number one guy has got family. Why kid,
(40:40):
if you moved him ninety miles away, you're disrupting this
entire global whatever you want to call it environment. And
guess what, from an A he might even go to
be an F. But if you see ahead of time,
you put the B over there, who you know, who
(41:01):
can devote everything well that's taking care of and then
we'll forget we're growing. When the time comes, he might
have to wait his son and then it would come naturally,
believe it or not. One of the biggest things that
I did was when I was interviewing from a leadership perspective,
and I am manages as the last part of the
(41:24):
interview process, I interview the significant other houses.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Yeah, anybody do that?
Speaker 3 (41:34):
Yes? And then not only that because, like I say,
because he's a family decision, yes and so and significant
other in the sense that if they got long term
go friend. Now we're not talking about you know, we
just dated a couple of months. Yeah, it's been long enough.
Because what happens is that my goal is that when
(41:55):
they come to work is joy is excitement when they
go home. It goes both ways. You know how they
say you can bring how many from both.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
What mm hm?
Speaker 3 (42:05):
But you can't bring how many from there's no how
many A well, but I'm creating how many at work? Okay,
And so that's that wonderful synity there you go.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Now that's a true creating a culture that you want
to thrive, not just survive, right.
Speaker 3 (42:25):
Right, right, And what happens with that, you know, long
term you have retention of quality people. Yeah. Yeah, and that,
believe it or not, that goes down to the bottom line.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Mm hmm, Sure it does. I love that. Okay. So
that's love led leadership in a nutshell. I think that's amazing.
And so you do you attribute some of that back
to your mom's having nurtured you?
Speaker 3 (42:58):
Yes, yes, because again it comes back to the standpoint
of when you when I share with with my leaders
in terms of authentic charm and autechic integrity and so forth.
They all of a sudden stood up and realized that, yeah,
because they matter. I listened to learn, and they listened
(43:22):
to learn, rather than listening in anticipation to reply, yeah,
because we're all mattered, so collectively we uh, you know,
whenever we sit down. This is very very interesting. And
this is funny because I got the analogy from this
was when the one of they made so many movies
about King Arthur and knights at the round Table, and
(43:44):
I saw by that time I can remember which version
of it, but it was interesting, this particular one where
everybody came in and set the round table and everybody
pulled out this sword and put up you know, and
we're all equal. Let's die into it. But when we leave,
we know we got a working agenda. That's where everybody
(44:06):
can say everything what they want to say. And I
conduct my business that way. I conduct all my meetings there.
I have people that, you know, I want them to
be able to say, uh, you know the other day,
you did this, this, this, you know, it's just to
piss me off. I'm glad you got it. Oh oh,
I'm so sorry. That's not what I'm meant. You know,
(44:26):
let me re frame that. That's the whole idea, and
then when we walk out, we have a team, a
collaborative agenda that we all agree.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
I love that calls at the everyone's sequel at the table,
and then I love that. So take a moment and
tell us about your your nonprofit, your five oh one
c three? What is that set up for? Well?
Speaker 3 (44:58):
I thought about over the years, I've done nips and
pieces of things, and I've done you know, the presentation
about personal success begins at home, focusing on the family,
because family is where the first classroom. The home is
the first classroom we're all enrolled in, whether we're like
(45:19):
it or not, and our parents and especially mom, believe
it or not, the first teacher that we have, okay,
And so the concept if that's where you know it happens,
and home is also within us. You can't outsource things.
That's when you know it's not my fault, he made
(45:40):
me do it? Really now maybe at twelve years old
you can get away at thirty five or no it's
not my fault, oh yeah really, or blame it somebody else.
So you don't work that way. So home is where
(46:00):
So the five on one C three I created is
to basically partner with people that wants to partner with
and so that we can roll out the concept of
the Family Genial Zone from My Mama's Kitchen, Junior Zone
Educational Platform, Community in Richmond program. And what it does
is that it brings back the fundamentals to help moms.
(46:22):
Because to go back to the family thing, believe it
or not, I mean, people can say whatever they want
to say, or we should have security at school right
now and all that. Really, are you kidding me? I mean,
you know that don't make sense? Or sixteenth birthday you're
(46:44):
buying your son a gun? That don't make sense? To me.
I'll be there one on one with person. I am
proud because to me, those are the little things that
it just don't make sense. There are so many other
things that we can teach about as math there. This
is the funny thing. We have more hunters when you
(47:05):
and I was a kid than we do now. Really
about that, yeah versus now, how many of you do
you know that the kids are, Oh, I'm going hunting
with my dad this weekend. Think about it? Yeah, versus
when we were growing up and you grew up in Alabama,
you don't talking about Yeah, yeah, we have less gun
(47:27):
problem at that time. Yeah, think about that. Yeah, even
as a young girl, you go out hunting.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
You know, I've been hunting. I have with my dad.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
Now, how many women you know right now go hunting?
Speaker 4 (47:49):
No?
Speaker 2 (47:49):
Meaning?
Speaker 3 (47:49):
Yeah, right, right, right, And yet all of a sudden
we have more issues, right, are you kidding me?
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Yeah? So, this, this this age and see that you've
created is helping moms with fundamentals that you believe need
to be brought back in the family class that first
classroom that you're talking about.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
Yes, yes, we're talking about.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
Again to prevent Yeah, to prevent the problems we're seeing
now for kids.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
Right, and again I went off in a little tangent.
You're talking about client. So but this mode, the overall
well being, the connections, the building relationship, teaching about social skills,
soft skills, those kinds of things, These are the things
that are important. Those are the things that value, right,
(48:40):
you know, and those kind of things that you don't
outsource this.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Yeah, yeah, love it, soft skills values, all of those things,
and a lot of that happens around the family tables.
Speaker 3 (48:55):
Precisely precisely because you don't go. You know, I know
you and I didn't go sign up? It was great?
Oh uh values one on one.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
No we didn't. Well, it is time for our third
and final break, and when we come back, we're going
to talk about maybe some of those key takeaways that
you learn from your mom that we can leave with
our audience today from your mom. All right, Doctor Bark
will be back with more sol cypr.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
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(50:36):
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(50:57):
with the help of coaches, mentors, and others. He shares
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(51:17):
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Network and tune in radio.
Speaker 2 (51:28):
Welcome back everyone, So Johnny, as for closing out this episode,
what is one recipe for life that you learned that
you think everyone needs to have? In their emotional kitchen.
Speaker 3 (51:42):
If you will, I have to say smiling those happyle
ah love it.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (51:52):
Yeah. And it's very interesting because this is something that
I learned from my mom, Alsa May and she's all
this fine, happy person. And think about it this way.
When you smile, it makes you feel good. When you're
smiling at someone else, you feel good, right, And when
someone smiles at you, you feel good. And a smile
(52:16):
is also a handshake that seldom refused.
Speaker 2 (52:20):
Oh there you go. I love that, seldom Replease, that's beautiful.
I love that. So And if if your moms were
sitting here with us today, what would you say to them.
Speaker 3 (52:32):
I hope I did everything y'all asked me to do.
I love it me to do. It's like it's one
of those things. Yeah, okay, I heard you.
Speaker 2 (52:44):
I made them proud. Hey, Alex, is it possible to
get that photo up of the nine moms that we
have to show everyone? And while you're trying to do that,
I just want to say that Johnny's your story has
reminded us that motherhood. There they are that motherhood. Yeah,
(53:05):
look at them all, They're so pretty, Look how sweet?
And they're all smiling but your story is, you know,
really reminds us that motherhood is not biological. It's really
about heart and presence and that quiet power of love
that can be shared in the kitchen, and whether it's
through a warm meal or maybe a gentle correction we
(53:27):
didn't talk about that they ever have to display. Or
maybe it's a word of encouragement that these nine women
who shaped Johnny gave him more than guidance. They sounds
like they gave you that foundation for living with purpose
and leading with love. And I just love that. So
(53:48):
as we reflect on the many forms that mother can take,
let's all think about how we can honor, you know,
the moms in our life, whoever they may have been,
and think about those who nurtured us and helped us
to grow, not just the biological mom, but who helped
(54:08):
us become who we are today. And if we didn't
have that kind of person in our life growing up,
you know, who can we be that too? And it
sounds like it could be that that gentleman to the
gentleman that showed up first and then brought you into
the fold and it went on from there. So Dad's
(54:29):
Father's days next month, let's think about But I think
it's all about those values and uh and.
Speaker 3 (54:37):
Co action, no question, but and about you know, to
mention something about you talking about something about moms. You know,
like in the conversation, it's not about whether it's high
low tone and whatnot. Is the intention and you know,
when it's all that it's done, the intention was good
(54:58):
and that's what makes the difference. The delivery mechanism might
be a little bit off sometimes, but the intention and
then everything that you had mentioned, everything that I'm doing
right here with regards to my mom's and so forth.
I tell everyone that's listening and watching this, it's all
about leaving a legacy of love. Because of love is
(55:21):
about using the past to help the present and to
inspire the future.
Speaker 2 (55:28):
That is beauty. Thank you, Johnny, thank you for being
here today to inspire us with your legacy of love.
And everyone in the show notes will have all the
ways to reach out to Johnny. He's got several different
websites that you can connect with him through. So, Johnny,
thank you for being with me today on Soul CPR
(55:48):
Healing Out Loud. And as we come to this conclusion
of the episode, I just want to remind everyone that
healing is not a linear journey, it is a process
found transformation. And so if this episode resonated with you,
then please share this podcast with those who may need
a lifeline of their own. Subscribe, rate, leave a review
(56:10):
to help us reach more hearts. We greatly appreciate it,
and as always, you can connect with me through social media.
You can find me on Facebook, at Skybe Coaching and
on all the other platforms at and papayode and my
website skidecaching dot com and let me know your thoughts
and your stories and the topics you'd like to explore
(56:30):
more on sol CPR. The show's for you and we're
going to make it happen. So until next time, may
you find strengthen your vulnerability and courage in your journey.
Thank you for listening. Breathe deeply, love openly, and live soulfully.
Good day, Thank you, Thank you, Johnny.
Speaker 1 (56:50):
This has been soul CPR with host and Papa Yote
breathe life back into your spirit with each episode where
she and special guests explore the relationships that hurt us
and discover that healing can only begin with you. Tuesdays
at three p m. Eastern on the Bold Brave TV network.
Are you ready to untangle from your past, recover from heartbreak,
and revive your life? This is soul CPR with your
host and Papa Yode. We've all had soul crushing experiences
and lost ourselves in our pain, but there is a
way out. On this podcast, Amazon best selling author, award
winning life coach and advice columnist and Papa Yode helps
(00:26):
us navigate the path from heartbreak to healing. So now
please welcome the host of Soul CPR and Papa Yode.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
So what do you get when nine incredible women for
their love, their wisdom and their recipes for life into
one man's journey? A legacy of heart led living. And
this week on soul CPR, I'm joined by Johnny Tan,
author of From My Mama's Kitchen, as he shares how
(01:01):
the maternal guidance of nine moms helped shape his life, leadership,
and purpose. So pull up a chair. You're going to
want a seat this soulful table now. Johnny Tan is
a social entrepreneur, an experiential keynote speaker, a career and
life coach, a mentor, a talk show host, and the
(01:24):
founder and CEO of From My Mama's Kitchen, a five
h one c three nonprofit Genius Zone educational platform, community
enrichment program advocating personal success begins at home, the power
of unconditional love and living and performing in our Genius
(01:44):
soon to build a better world. And we'll talk about
that with him later in the show. He is also
the publisher of Inspirations for Better Life, a digital magazine,
owner of Words Have Power Dot Store, and his multi
award winning and best selling author. Johnny's experienced a spiritual
awakening when he was writing his first book from My
(02:06):
Mom's Kitchen, Food for the Sole Recipes for Living, which
honors his nine moms, and recently he released the fifteenth
anniversary edition of this book, and it's all about the
unconditional motherly love and practical, timeless principles for living life
that he learned from these nine different women that he
(02:28):
calls moms, his teachers, coaches, counselors, and his cheerleaders throughout life.
This fifteenth edition, this Recipes for Living for his nine Moms,
he talks about his conversations about life, love and laughter,
and he's released this addition to honor and celebrate the
(02:49):
impact that these nine moms have had on his life
and leaving this legacy of love now. Johnny has also
been awarded the prestigious twenty twenty one Top one hundred
Visionaries in Education by the Global Forum for Education and Learning,
and in twenty twenty two he was invited to be
executive contributor to the Global Brains magazine. All of that
(03:11):
said more than that, he's just an amazing human being
and he happens to be my friend, and he's publisher
of the Inspirations for Better Living magazine, where I do
have my advice colin. Dear Annie, Johnny, welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Thank you so much. Ann. I tell you what, it's
such a pleasure to be here, and I just keep
my mouth shut and keep letting you talk.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
I love it well.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
The love.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
We met actually when I was doing a podcast tour
promoting my book, The Gift of Shift, and it was
just such a pleasure and we connected right away. And
I think in my bio it was something about I
could have had my Dear Annie column years ago because
people were always saying I was such a good listener
and giving advice, and you offered me my own Dear
(04:02):
Any column.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
There you go, there you go.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
We've connected since well, let's get into this journey with
you with nine moms because it's such a beautiful story
to share, and in honor of Mother's Day, because last week,
Johnny on the show, I talked about moms, but it
was also about a lot of hurt around moms, whether
we had moms that struggled to be moms, or we
(04:28):
never knew our moms, or whatever our story was with
our moms. So I'm so excited this week, and I
talked last week about bringing you on the show this
week in a way to now honor women who may
not be a biological mother to someone but step up
and step into someone's life as these women have for you.
(04:49):
So take us back to the beginning. How this journey
of motherhood and mentorship for you take us back to
Malaysia and very thank you.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
You know, it's really amazing. I mean my Malaysian mom
and basically my adopted mom. They grew up during the war,
so life is tough and was tough back then in Malaysia.
On top of that, she had several of what you
call it miscarriages, and after the second miscarriage, she adopted
(05:26):
my sister from a different family. Obviously. And then on
the third one, she was actually pregnant for about seven
eight months and she had a late term miscarriage and
it was a boy, and so it was really I mean,
just speaking about it, I just cannot imagine what she
(05:47):
went through. And she adopted the boy, and the boy
passed on in about I think a month and a
half two months, who knows. Bat then when you talk
about crypt death, you know, things like that thinks that
who knows, you know, things happened. And then here my
(06:09):
maternal mom, who happened to be a distant cousin on
my dad's side, would keep on pointing to her tummy
and said, hey, if this is a boy, y'all could
have it. No, And I was like, and then my
mom like looking kind of odd, And my mom and
my dad actually went to in Asia. She went to
(06:30):
see a sage and the sage told them because my
mom and my dad was concerned. You know, look head
boy at the late term miscarriage, adopted the boy, and uh,
it didn't make it. And so now you know, here
(06:50):
obviously we have no idea you know at that time,
with the baby's gonna be. But you know, we're gonna adopt,
and they apparently somehow found out that I was a
boy and or determine that, you know, like this guy.
You know, no, this is a boy. It's meant for you.
That's what the sage said. And what's interesting about it.
(07:11):
If you look at my hand, you know, it's it's
they have to cross right here. And what happened is
that it goes all the way down the lifeline or
whatever we want to call it. My doctor dad has
it on his right hand. I wasn't even born yet now,
and the sage told my parents, this boy has that line.
(07:35):
Oh and yeah, to talk it off. Of course I
found out about this years later. There will come a
time when the boy has to go far away. The
further he goes, the better off he is, and you're
going to have to let him go. Now we're talking
about Malaysia in the early sixties and so forth, Are
(07:56):
you kidding me? I mean the furtherest will go. It's
like next to Singapore, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Yeah. So, having said that, the opportunity came when I
was eighteen years old to come to the United States
to go to college at Louisiana State University, and my
mom reminded my dad remember what the sage said, because
apparently everything that the Sage have given them I have known.
(08:23):
I do not know about it. It's all checked. Uhh yeah,
okay uhhh, And reminded my dad that we're gonna have
to let him go.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Wow. What a story.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah, And it's amazing. And when you take the globe
and you drill a hole through it, Malacca, Malaysia and
bat Ruge Louisiana, you're talking about as far as you
can get. Yeah, yeah, you know, and pulling behold things.
(08:55):
Just it's amazing, I think the best way to put it.
You know, it's like in life for me. And anyway,
if somebody would do uh back then oh yeah, you
know Johnny Than, I'm welcome to earth and somebody said,
oh yeah you are. This is your fault and this
is how you're going to live your life.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Yeah right, yeah, it would never never imagine. So as
an eighteen year old, what was it like for you
to literally move across the globe from Malaysia to the US.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
What was that expect The drive was curiosity for me
because I've always been curious about things. It's a natural tendency.
I was never afraid to check things out, you know.
So that was a great wonderful uh, you know, opportunity.
But the uniqueness and is this everything is kind of
(09:54):
like we talked about this textbook chapter one, right, Okay,
So I finished my thing being born in Malaysia. When
I got on the plane flying from Paula Lampo to
Hong Kong, my seat mate was a Hong Kong lady
who is married to the British guy, so she was
telling me all about the world. From Hong Kong to Soul, Korea,
(10:19):
my seat mate was a singer from New York who
was doing a tour in Asia, so she was telling
me all about the United States, the Bronx places not
to go. Yeah, so it was very very interesting. And
then in Soul Korea, hole and behold while waiting in
(10:41):
line in transit, so every one of us have to
fly into Hawaii, uh, and then because the port of entry,
and then from there I'm flying to LA and Dallas
and bat Rouge. There was a gentleman in front of me,
Hong guy from Alabama, and he was trying to fly
of course, from Hawaii to San Francisco have a heavy
(11:05):
Southern draw. The Korean ticket lady couldn't understand him, so
he was like this, he turned around, young man just
took Korean. I said, no, sir, but I understand what
you're trying to do. Maybe we Asian kind of speak
in the way that we can understand each other. Let
me help you out. So I explained to the lady
(11:28):
when he wanted to fly and so forth. So he
was happy. It was really great. And then before you
know it, of course, he says, so what's your story.
Why do you come to the United States? I said, well,
I'm going to resident Stant University for college, you know,
spring semester. And then I have no idea about SEC football.
(11:57):
Yeah yeah, I mean it was like all right.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
You know, an you let me tell you something point.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Oh he loved it, all right. It was so funny.
And he said, I want you to meet my my
business part and maybe y'all could have dinner in La
because by the time we arrived with you at dinner time.
And I said sure. And that's how I met Ben Wisdom,
who technically is my foster father so to speak, because
(12:25):
through him, I met my gallant foster mom in Papa Blah, Missouri.
And so yeah, you know it just naturally happened. But
from second way from that story, what's interesting though, and
again we talked about, you know, like it's if like
somebody had written a novel with me. Because a year later,
when my father passed away in Malaysia, it was in
(12:49):
the spring, well prior to that. I take that back,
because I was here in the spring, and man had
traveled back to Asia that lake fall, uh early fall
that year that we met. He had sectuate and met
my parents and telling them, don't worry me and Carol
(13:10):
will take care of Johnny if anything happens or whatever
beneaths us. We're there. I mean, as a kid to
think about stuff like that, you know, but I'm sure
as parents that's a big deal, especially halfway around and
knowing that it's not like exactly my parents can just
jump on the plane and yeah and so hold and behold.
(13:35):
A year later, when my father passed, when he was
on his trip, he went to visit my mom and
my sister. So for so, I mean, like wow, when
you look back, oh my god, this is a man,
you know. Yeah, yeah, and so, but when I was
in college, I met my Southern Belt mom. She was
(13:56):
my host family and I call a nickname her Southern
Belt because she's originally from New Orleans. And you listen
back rush very wonderful lady, and everyone has their own.
She's very frim and proper, really really wonderful. And I
think the biggest thing that she impacted my life at
such a young age at that time was the thing
(14:18):
that we talked about recipes while living life. It says, Johnny,
I just want to let you know one thing. Your
charm will always open doors, but it's your authentic integrity
character that will keep doors open.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
What a beautiful statement. And it's a perfect time for
us to segue for our first commercial break, and we're
going to take it from there. But I love how
your connection started with just your meeting people, being that
authentic person offering to help someone and going from there.
(14:56):
So don't go for everyone. We'll be back with Johnny
Tan and more.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
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Speaker 2 (17:04):
Welcome back, everyone, and thank you for tuning into SOULCYPR today.
I'm Anne Papiota, your host, and joining me today is
my special guest and friend, Johnny Tan And we're talking
about his book From My Mama's Kitchen and learned lots
of recipes for life because he had nine different women
that he calls moms. And we're up to the part
of his personal story where he's arrived now in Baton Rouge, Louisiana,
(17:29):
and he has a host family and his Southern Belt mom,
and she gave him some beautiful little remembrance about his
charm and his authenticity. So talk about these life lessons
in the kitchen and around the fact that there were
so much there was so much learning and sharing in
(17:51):
the kitchen. Talk about that was there ever a specific
meal that you remember where you learned something?
Speaker 3 (18:01):
The biggest one I would say, this is very interesting
with Eleanora my at that time of us just studying
out because I didn't actually learn how to cook till
I got to the United States. You know, it's like
because all this time my mom was cooking back home,
and I was the sign for yeah, the only child
that loved to hang out in the kitchen because I
(18:22):
would be the family taster. Because my sister, Yeah, my
sister was six years older than I am, and so, uh,
she's a working woman so to speak. Like so we
at that generation, Oh, we women don't cook, you know,
no kitchen. So it's really funny. But I enjoy it
because I just enjoyed taste of food. And then in
(18:46):
the United States, I think the the most impactful was,
you know, we talked sometimes we take it for granted,
but Thanksgiving mm hmm. Believe it or not. People may
not realize that, but you know, you've traveled different cultures,
different things, You've seen. There are no cultures out there
(19:07):
that really have truly a holiday for Thanksgivings. Well grateful
what are we being? And so that very first Thanksgiving
was very powerful because it was for the first time
and my mom, Eleanor, she invites us about everybody down.
(19:28):
I mean it's like literally we have two sets of
big table and a small set of kids, stable and
so forth. And so during the process we would go around,
what are you thankful for this year? And and you know,
like everybody's got to say something. And then when it
comes to me for the first time, I realized that,
(19:50):
you know, we take it for granted. We don't thank anybody, right,
I assume you know it. Then it asses me to wow,
I'm the United States. What eleven months later, nine months,
ten months later, I'm so thankful for this opportunity to
connect with people. But most importantly, I'm so thankful that
(20:12):
my parents trusted me, because it's almost like a one
way ticket because we're not a rich family. It's not like, uh,
you know, I'll be back next month that yeah, yeah,
you don't want that way, and so it's amazing. So
I think that will be the most powerful thing. It's
(20:34):
the power of gratitude. Gratitude actually cultivates blessing from that perspective,
And I learned that from a standpoint of you know,
don't take things for granted, take a moment each day
to just you know, whether in the middle of the day,
in the evening or early in the morning. And I
(20:55):
do that actually at night, just to kind of go
through and I'm talking about some funny city this stuff.
Before I go to bed, I might say thank you
for giving me the last can of pineapple the.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Yea, it may be you never know.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
That's interesting.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
That's interesting. So and we got to share this past
Thanksgiving together, which was lovely, and you with us those
Thanksgiving memories you had with the different moms in the States.
What inspired you to actually write the book and to
share these different stories of your moms and even you
include some of their actual recipes.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Yes, yeah, Well what happened is that, you know, it's
sort of embarrassing because this is a guy thing, because
it got to the point where I think it was
around the time when my mom was having back and
forth and then she was leaving for one last time,
and at that time, I know she was kind of
(22:00):
getting old. And it's around nineteen ninety nine or so
when I said, m M, I think I better start
writing all the food recipes that I like so that
I can have all that, you know, for me and
my sister. And I was trying to do a nice
deed for my sister, remember the one that doesn't cook
because the way women don't be in the kitchen guy,
(22:22):
you know. So I said, well, do we put some
recipes together? And so I did. I started writing, and
then a few months later I thought about, you know,
I liked when picking about food, my my Southern Belt
Mount cook and my Foster Mount cooked. I mean, they
(22:42):
had wonderful cooks. And so I started collecting recipes. But
seven years went by. I couldn't get the the project
off the ground. For some reason, there was something missing.
And so finally that you know went by and it
(23:04):
was like, okay. In two thousand and seven, my the
tel Foster mom always called me on New Year's Day
to wish me happy new and of course he says, Johnny,
when are you going to finish this cookbook? I hope
you finish it before I die. She was like something, Oh, yes, ma'am.
(23:26):
Of course I'm working on it right now. I'm studying it.
In April and I started sitting down every night and
starting I said, okay, I got to do this is crazy.
Seven years went by. I couldn't get this thing off
the ground. So as I sat down every night and
start writing all and behold what came from this whole
thing was the lessons, the wonderful conversations about life, love
(23:50):
and laughter that cult over you know, kitchen table or
prepping food and so forth. And that is, like you say,
it's it's not you know, let me pull up my
float shot here and show you things. Now it's just conversations,
but meaningful conversations. Life lessons is being passed down. It's
(24:11):
like family hand loom. That the kind of things that
is far more valuable. And so I just decide where
now this is something much more important. Let's talk about
the wisdom of motherly love, the things that we're tasted
in life, that you know, and so forth. So that's
how the book was given birth. And having said that,
(24:32):
I finished it in nine months, and I'm so glad
I did that, because in hindsight, three of my moms
would not have made it in the book if I've
just focused on the recipes. Remember that I wanted to
collect even though I broke great with three other wonderful ladies.
They didn't they have recipes didn't kind of click in.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Okay, my bad.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Was so funny, and so we started laughing about that.
You know, it was like, no wonders if you could
write the thing for seven years.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Yeah, so you've got the mom, the Italian mom, of course,
the Malaysian mom. So tell us after Lsu, who's the
next mom.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
I met my brutual, progressive mom at the business function,
and then I met my sanguine savannah mom at the
business function. And then I met my text and earthly
mom as a as a business function as well. So
the business side of equation contributed because at advance and
(25:44):
all of a sudden this women were just naturally you
know there. And the one thing I do want to
point out to people, regardless when we talked about you know, love,
motherly love or family love or personal love, one has
to be ready to see in order to get Not
(26:04):
that they're bashing their love on me, but it's just
the natural, you know, situation that presents itself. I think
when you have those hot to hot conversations, it just
naturally happened, so to speak. And they were there to
nurture me and coach me and you know and celebrate
(26:25):
with me and so forth and likewise, and it was
I think also technically I was the youngest among all
the kids they are empty or whatever, they take.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
One more in, yes and share all that. So so
with the how's the book doing, because I know it's
won many awards, and what do you think has touched
people through your book?
Speaker 3 (26:59):
I think the biggest thing. What was interesting was when
I went out to do my book signing at the
various bonds and of all the independent bookstores and so forth.
Of course women love it, you know, like whoa, we
haven't man here talking about my man. I'm man. But
what caught me of God was man actually buys the
(27:23):
book and man that came up to me and shook
my hand and said, you know, I'm so glad you
wrote this book in my life. I had three months
in my life. I have four months, five months. And
that threw me off. And because we understood, because there
were times when in our lives, whether as a son
(27:45):
or even a daughter, come to think of it, right,
there are moments that we need that advice, that comfort,
and that's someone that happens to be able to step
in yes and so forth. And there was even one
situation where I was in the box and noble ju
where the guy was saying, oh, yeah, I have four moms.
(28:05):
You know this and all, and the wife had to
remind him, you've forgotten me so and so oh yeah, huh.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Oh, well that is quite special.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Yeah, yeah, I think that brought me off God, and
it really makes me feel good because then what happens
is that, you know, it also validates the point that
if we pay attention, the answers are all around. Sometimes
we take it for granted, we don't pay attention to
those things.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yeah. I love that, and I love that it's inspired
people to think about who in their lives has shown
up for them, because sometimes we get so stuck in
the actual assigned role of the biological mom and we
forget there's people that pull that role, or if we
get stuck in having the desire to be a biological
(28:56):
mom and if that didn't work out for us, but
how we can be that role for other people, and
that that is a rewarding and fulfilling in our lives
as well. Right, oh, go ahead ahead.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
Yeah. And one of the things also I point it
in the book is that is that when I know
you mentioned last week, you know that to talk about
the other side of the equation and so forth. But
the most important thing I can assure everyone, regardless of
the circumstance, no matter how acute it is. Your mom
(29:30):
do the best way she.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Knows how, right, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
So the expectation versus the anticipation and what you get
may not necessarily matched. But I can shure deep down
when it's all said and done, because the most important
thing that people sometimes don't realize, and again this is,
you know, to each its own. Now, don't get me wrong,
but especially for a woman that actually carries a baby
(29:57):
in them for nine months, trust me, you know, like
they say, unless you wear someone's shoes, you would never know.
I feel, trust me, yes.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Yes, you know. And I think about all these life
lessons from these different moms. But I go back even
to your birth mom. She had to let you go.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
First, right before your adopted parents had to let you
go when you moved so around the world. So there's
a series of this happening in your life for you
to have this full journey and very fulfilling, rewarding journey
that you've had in your life. And it's really quite
amazing how this all happened in the way, Like you said,
(30:39):
it's like a novel that you just were wrote into
and it just lived your life, but it is time
for our second break. When we come back, I want
to talk about love and leadership for.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
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Speaker 2 (33:06):
And we are back. So, Johnny, I want to talk
about love as a leadership model because you've had a
career at the c suite level and now your own
businesses and and everything. So what does love led leadership
actually mean?
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Excellent question to understand love. Let memprove this way. From
the English language standpoint of view, love is love, and
then of course you got motherly love. I love you,
you know, man, woman, thing and baby and so forth.
In different cultures, actually of course they have you know love,
mom love, and you know partner love and all that.
(33:49):
But what I look at it is from the human
side of the equation. When Zoon said and done, we
are in the people business. And when you look at
that from that perspective, the connection that we met with people,
the connection that my various mom made with me, was
through the lens of love. And if you think about
(34:10):
it very carefully, when you talk about when you look
at things through the lens of love, it's only about
the other person. It's never about you. That's why you
have that sacrifice. Oh no, no, after last piece please,
Oh go ahead, that's fine. Yeah, that's lens of love.
There are two separate but equal forces that govern all
(34:31):
our decisions make professional and personal life. Love of fear.
Ear is about us. I can't do this, I can't
do that, you know, and so I got to stay
away from that one I guess, you know, but the
feeling is that it's not damn Actually, now I'm not
saying that's bad. I'm just saying that that it's a
(34:53):
balancing act and how we have to look at it.
And then from a business standpoint of view, from a leadership,
where is corporate or anything that we do in life.
To be honest with you, when you look at it,
when the people business, people buy from people. Having said now,
of course, if you in an emergency situation and situation
(35:13):
and you the only one that's got a pipe, yeah
I hate you, but I got to have it.
Speaker 4 (35:22):
Right.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
But in all actuality, people buy from people. And so
when you look at that, and this is the thing
that people don' understand. The biggest thing you hear right
now is entrepreneurs these days. You know, back then, uh
it's big corporations that said blah blah blah. You don't know,
maybe small business owners. Now you've got entrepreneurs, mom, entrepreneurs, entrepreneur,
(35:45):
that preneur. But you know what, when you were growing up,
when I was growing up, whether our mom or people
that we know right, our aunts or even our grandma,
we were selling some cookies on the side to make
business right. She's the mo entrepreneur. She's a sorepreneur. But
(36:08):
you know what, what sells the cookies when the people business.
The cookie mat is good. But you know what, I'm
buying it from Auntie Anne because I love her. She's
so nice, she's you know, she always give me extra
m hm. Right when the people as we focus on that.
(36:30):
And that's what I did when I first came in
into the from a business standpoint of view, working for
corporations and all that, and realized that we need to
focus on the people. We lead people, We manage situations.
Nobody likes to be managed. Everyone loves to be in
the right way, you know, this way, that way, because
(36:52):
everyone wants to succeed. Hmm. Everyone wants to do the
best they can. And if you show them and if
you show epathy, you show the genuineness in you know,
in cultivating them within them because everyone has the seat
of greatness. So we help the nurture that seed. We
(37:14):
help them grow within their own bubble of white confidence.
Believe me, they'll return back, do you. And that's how
you build organizations. And that's how I build my organization.
And maybe it as an example all.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Right, so you mothered it.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Yes, it was the same concept from from the standpoint,
but you use the organizational structure. And guess what. And
I always tell people this, it was very very interesting,
Like you know, that's why I talk about you know,
corporate family, genia zone and corporate family culture. Right. Uh,
we hear that big time also. But now, and of
(37:53):
course back then a few this was several you know,
a couple of decades ago where they introduced, oh we
corporate family. Corporate family does not mean that we just
have a birthday party once a month. Is it the
matter of the law or the spirit of the law
the letter of all yeah, oh yeah, we have Fridays.
You know, Friday is casual Friday. Everybody away what they want.
(38:18):
The spirit of the law is really engaging. I have
no fear in letting someone go in the business because
what happens is that they actually fire themselves because they
have job description, they have certain things they got to
get done. And guess what, even family family disowned family member. Yeah,
(38:43):
you know what I'm talking about. I mean, I'm not
going off attention. So it's the same thing. Why because
you no longer fit in our value The things that.
That's why we focus on the corporate culture, the values,
you know, those things that you're doing, and that makes
a big difference. And I'll always let someone go. You know,
(39:05):
it took a long time, that's okay, But I don't
have to cross the street when I run into them
and there on the across the street when they're running
to me, because I got nothing to hide. That's the best.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Yes, I love it so love led leadership in action.
You just gave us a great example with being able
to nurture and if it doesn't grow within that, then
it belongs somewhere else. And in that way, that's also
an active love to allow someone to grow somewhere else
that they don't fit within that environment. Right, And I
(39:45):
think a lot of people a way conflict and then
that doesn't that's not an active love to allow somewhere else, right.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
No, No, And there's so many thoughts of it, Okay,
I mean we just cannot discuss that just in a
few minutes right here. But to give you an one
full example, right, it's this. I'm in the company where
I we were growing restaurants to three restaurants a year,
and you know guess what we got a new restaurant
coming up, So technically, one would say, or in any business, right,
(40:18):
you want to put your best person, you know, way
off in the you know, in a tangent that's some
ninety miles away or whatever you want to call it, right,
But guess what, it doesn't always happen that way in
my situation where I might go to the number two
guy because the number one guy has got family. Why kid,
(40:40):
if you moved him ninety miles away, you're disrupting this
entire global whatever you want to call it environment. And
guess what, from an A he might even go to
be an F. But if you see ahead of time,
you put the B over there, who you know, who
(41:01):
can devote everything well that's taking care of and then
we'll forget we're growing. When the time comes, he might
have to wait his son and then it would come naturally,
believe it or not. One of the biggest things that
I did was when I was interviewing from a leadership perspective,
and I am manages as the last part of the
(41:24):
interview process, I interview the significant other houses.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Yeah, anybody do that?
Speaker 3 (41:34):
Yes? And then not only that because, like I say,
because he's a family decision, yes and so and significant
other in the sense that if they got long term
go friend. Now we're not talking about you know, we
just dated a couple of months. Yeah, it's been long enough.
Because what happens is that my goal is that when
(41:55):
they come to work is joy is excitement when they
go home. It goes both ways. You know how they
say you can bring how many from both.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
What mm hm?
Speaker 3 (42:05):
But you can't bring how many from there's no how
many A well, but I'm creating how many at work? Okay,
And so that's that wonderful synity there you go.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Now that's a true creating a culture that you want
to thrive, not just survive, right.
Speaker 3 (42:25):
Right, right, And what happens with that, you know, long
term you have retention of quality people. Yeah. Yeah, and that,
believe it or not, that goes down to the bottom line.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Mm hmm, Sure it does. I love that. Okay. So
that's love led leadership in a nutshell. I think that's amazing.
And so you do you attribute some of that back
to your mom's having nurtured you?
Speaker 3 (42:58):
Yes, yes, because again it comes back to the standpoint
of when you when I share with with my leaders
in terms of authentic charm and autechic integrity and so forth.
They all of a sudden stood up and realized that, yeah,
because they matter. I listened to learn, and they listened
(43:22):
to learn, rather than listening in anticipation to reply, yeah,
because we're all mattered, so collectively we uh, you know,
whenever we sit down. This is very very interesting. And
this is funny because I got the analogy from this
was when the one of they made so many movies
about King Arthur and knights at the round Table, and
(43:44):
I saw by that time I can remember which version
of it, but it was interesting, this particular one where
everybody came in and set the round table and everybody
pulled out this sword and put up you know, and
we're all equal. Let's die into it. But when we leave,
we know we got a working agenda. That's where everybody
(44:06):
can say everything what they want to say. And I
conduct my business that way. I conduct all my meetings there.
I have people that, you know, I want them to
be able to say, uh, you know the other day,
you did this, this, this, you know, it's just to
piss me off. I'm glad you got it. Oh oh,
I'm so sorry. That's not what I'm meant. You know,
(44:26):
let me re frame that. That's the whole idea, and
then when we walk out, we have a team, a
collaborative agenda that we all agree.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
I love that calls at the everyone's sequel at the table,
and then I love that. So take a moment and
tell us about your your nonprofit, your five oh one
c three? What is that set up for? Well?
Speaker 3 (44:58):
I thought about over the years, I've done nips and
pieces of things, and I've done you know, the presentation
about personal success begins at home, focusing on the family,
because family is where the first classroom. The home is
the first classroom we're all enrolled in, whether we're like
(45:19):
it or not, and our parents and especially mom, believe
it or not, the first teacher that we have, okay,
And so the concept if that's where you know it happens,
and home is also within us. You can't outsource things.
That's when you know it's not my fault, he made
(45:40):
me do it? Really now maybe at twelve years old
you can get away at thirty five or no it's
not my fault, oh yeah really, or blame it somebody else.
So you don't work that way. So home is where
(46:00):
So the five on one C three I created is
to basically partner with people that wants to partner with
and so that we can roll out the concept of
the Family Genial Zone from My Mama's Kitchen, Junior Zone
Educational Platform, Community in Richmond program. And what it does
is that it brings back the fundamentals to help moms.
(46:22):
Because to go back to the family thing, believe it
or not, I mean, people can say whatever they want
to say, or we should have security at school right
now and all that. Really, are you kidding me? I mean,
you know that don't make sense? Or sixteenth birthday you're
(46:44):
buying your son a gun? That don't make sense? To me.
I'll be there one on one with person. I am
proud because to me, those are the little things that
it just don't make sense. There are so many other
things that we can teach about as math there. This
is the funny thing. We have more hunters when you
(47:05):
and I was a kid than we do now. Really
about that, yeah versus now, how many of you do
you know that the kids are, Oh, I'm going hunting
with my dad this weekend. Think about it? Yeah, versus
when we were growing up and you grew up in Alabama,
you don't talking about Yeah, yeah, we have less gun
(47:27):
problem at that time. Yeah, think about that. Yeah, even
as a young girl, you go out hunting.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
You know, I've been hunting. I have with my dad.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
Now, how many women you know right now go hunting?
Speaker 4 (47:49):
No?
Speaker 2 (47:49):
Meaning?
Speaker 3 (47:49):
Yeah, right, right, right, And yet all of a sudden
we have more issues, right, are you kidding me?
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Yeah? So, this, this this age and see that you've
created is helping moms with fundamentals that you believe need
to be brought back in the family class that first
classroom that you're talking about.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
Yes, yes, we're talking about.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
Again to prevent Yeah, to prevent the problems we're seeing
now for kids.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
Right, and again I went off in a little tangent.
You're talking about client. So but this mode, the overall
well being, the connections, the building relationship, teaching about social skills,
soft skills, those kinds of things, These are the things
that are important. Those are the things that value, right,
(48:40):
you know, and those kind of things that you don't
outsource this.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Yeah, yeah, love it, soft skills values, all of those things,
and a lot of that happens around the family tables.
Speaker 3 (48:55):
Precisely precisely because you don't go. You know, I know
you and I didn't go sign up? It was great?
Oh uh values one on one.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
No we didn't. Well, it is time for our third
and final break, and when we come back, we're going
to talk about maybe some of those key takeaways that
you learn from your mom that we can leave with
our audience today from your mom. All right, Doctor Bark
will be back with more sol cypr.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
What if there were a super tiny device that could
diagnose the brain and is smaller than a single human hair.
What if you could see inside the brain to help
an epilepsy patient during surgery or to help the fight
against Parkinson's disease. Doctor Patricia Brodrick is proud to announce
the Broaderick Probe, a biomedical and electronic breakthrough imagine a
(49:51):
probe to help with the understanding and potential cure of
brain related diseases. To learn more, listen live to the
Easy set 's radio show with host Doctor Brodrick Wednesday's
seven pm Eastern on the Bold Brain Media Network and
tune in radio. And to help support the Broaderick Foundation,
please go to easysense dot com and learn how with
(50:14):
your help we can fight these horrific brain disorders. That's
easysense dot com to learn more and help support the
Broaderick Foundation. Author, radio show host and coach John M.
Hawkins reveals strategies to help gain perspective, build confidence, find clarity,
(50:36):
achieve goals. John M. Hawkins' new book Coached to Greatness
Unlock Your Full Potential with Limitless Growth, published by I Universe,
Hawkins reveals strategies to help readers accomplish more. He believes
the book can coach them to greatness. Hawkins says that
the best athletes get to the top of their sport
(50:57):
with the help of coaches, mentors, and others. He shares
guidance that helps readers reflect on what motivates them. We
discover and assess their core values, philosophies and competencies, find
settings that allow them to be the most productive, and
track their progress towards accomplishing goals. Listen to John Hawkins
(51:17):
My Strategy Saturdays one pm Eastern on the BBM Global
Network and tune in radio.
Speaker 2 (51:28):
Welcome back everyone, So Johnny, as for closing out this episode,
what is one recipe for life that you learned that
you think everyone needs to have? In their emotional kitchen.
Speaker 3 (51:42):
If you will, I have to say smiling those happyle
ah love it.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (51:52):
Yeah. And it's very interesting because this is something that
I learned from my mom, Alsa May and she's all
this fine, happy person. And think about it this way.
When you smile, it makes you feel good. When you're
smiling at someone else, you feel good, right, And when
someone smiles at you, you feel good. And a smile
(52:16):
is also a handshake that seldom refused.
Speaker 2 (52:20):
Oh there you go. I love that, seldom Replease, that's beautiful.
I love that. So And if if your moms were
sitting here with us today, what would you say to them.
Speaker 3 (52:32):
I hope I did everything y'all asked me to do.
I love it me to do. It's like it's one
of those things. Yeah, okay, I heard you.
Speaker 2 (52:44):
I made them proud. Hey, Alex, is it possible to
get that photo up of the nine moms that we
have to show everyone? And while you're trying to do that,
I just want to say that Johnny's your story has
reminded us that motherhood. There they are that motherhood. Yeah,
(53:05):
look at them all, They're so pretty, Look how sweet?
And they're all smiling but your story is, you know,
really reminds us that motherhood is not biological. It's really
about heart and presence and that quiet power of love
that can be shared in the kitchen, and whether it's
through a warm meal or maybe a gentle correction we
(53:27):
didn't talk about that they ever have to display. Or
maybe it's a word of encouragement that these nine women
who shaped Johnny gave him more than guidance. They sounds
like they gave you that foundation for living with purpose
and leading with love. And I just love that. So
(53:48):
as we reflect on the many forms that mother can take,
let's all think about how we can honor, you know,
the moms in our life, whoever they may have been,
and think about those who nurtured us and helped us
to grow, not just the biological mom, but who helped
(54:08):
us become who we are today. And if we didn't
have that kind of person in our life growing up,
you know, who can we be that too? And it
sounds like it could be that that gentleman to the
gentleman that showed up first and then brought you into
the fold and it went on from there. So Dad's
(54:29):
Father's days next month, let's think about But I think
it's all about those values and uh and.
Speaker 3 (54:37):
Co action, no question, but and about you know, to
mention something about you talking about something about moms. You know,
like in the conversation, it's not about whether it's high
low tone and whatnot. Is the intention and you know,
when it's all that it's done, the intention was good
(54:58):
and that's what makes the difference. The delivery mechanism might
be a little bit off sometimes, but the intention and
then everything that you had mentioned, everything that I'm doing
right here with regards to my mom's and so forth.
I tell everyone that's listening and watching this, it's all
about leaving a legacy of love. Because of love is
(55:21):
about using the past to help the present and to
inspire the future.
Speaker 2 (55:28):
That is beauty. Thank you, Johnny, thank you for being
here today to inspire us with your legacy of love.
And everyone in the show notes will have all the
ways to reach out to Johnny. He's got several different
websites that you can connect with him through. So, Johnny,
thank you for being with me today on Soul CPR
(55:48):
Healing Out Loud. And as we come to this conclusion
of the episode, I just want to remind everyone that
healing is not a linear journey, it is a process
found transformation. And so if this episode resonated with you,
then please share this podcast with those who may need
a lifeline of their own. Subscribe, rate, leave a review
(56:10):
to help us reach more hearts. We greatly appreciate it,
and as always, you can connect with me through social media.
You can find me on Facebook, at Skybe Coaching and
on all the other platforms at and papayode and my
website skidecaching dot com and let me know your thoughts
and your stories and the topics you'd like to explore
(56:30):
more on sol CPR. The show's for you and we're
going to make it happen. So until next time, may
you find strengthen your vulnerability and courage in your journey.
Thank you for listening. Breathe deeply, love openly, and live soulfully.
Good day, Thank you, Thank you, Johnny.
Speaker 1 (56:50):
This has been soul CPR with host and Papa Yote
breathe life back into your spirit with each episode where
she and special guests explore the relationships that hurt us
and discover that healing can only begin with you. Tuesdays
at three p m. Eastern on the Bold Brave TV network.
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