Let Love In: Embracing Truth for Healing with Jake Kauffman

Jake Kauffman, the author of the impactful book "Let Love In: The Pain Stops When the Truth Starts." As a renowned speaker and leading voice in overcoming trauma and achieving holistic well-being, Jake sheds light on the crucial connection between healing from past wounds and living a fulfilling life mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

In our conversation, we delve deep into the principles and practices outlined in Jake's book, uncovering the keys to unlocking our true potential. From the concept of masking trauma with achievement to the transformative power of vulnerability and forgiveness, Jake provides invaluable insights and actionable steps for those seeking a more authentic and fulfilled life.

Through personal experiences and stories, Jake illustrates the profound impact of letting love in and facing the truth. We explore the significance of self-awareness in personal growth and healing, and Jake emphasizes the importance of differentiating between normal healing processes and when seeking professional help or therapy becomes necessary.

Join us on this transformative journey with Jake Kauffman and discover how embracing the truth can lead to healing, freedom, and a life of thriving mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. As we strive to live a better life every day, Jake's wisdom and guidance will inspire and empower you to embrace your true self and embark on a journey of growth and self-discovery.

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Episode Transcript

(00:20):
Hey, Welcome to another episode ofStrive three sixty five, the podcast dedicated
helping you push through challenges and thriveevery day, no matter the odds.
We are here to help guide youto live a better life, whether we
mentally, physically, emotionally, orspiritually. And I am your host,
Justin Arnold the Amazing Rock Box Studiohere in Rochester, New York. And
joining us today is Jake Kaufman.I've known him for a little bit.

(00:42):
He's a cool dude. He's theauthor of this new powerful book let,
Love in the Pain Stops When theTruth Starts. Jake is a renown speaker
and leading voice in the field ofovercoming trauma and achieving holistic well being.
Through his work, he shed lighton the crucial but often overlooked connection be
doing healing from past wounds and livinga fulfilling life mentally, physically, and

(01:03):
emotionally and spiritually. So you cansee why he's a guest on this show.
Today, we are going to divedeep in the principles and practices outlet
in Jake's book and uncover the keysto unlocking our true potential. Whether you've
experienced trauma or simply seek to livea more authentic and fulfilled life. I'm
sure this episode will provide invaluable insightsand actionable steps to help you thrive and

(01:26):
strive three sixty five. So,Jake, thanks for coming on. Man,
why don't you introduce yourself to theviewers we are on YouTube and on
social media's and the listeners here today. Awesome. Well, I don't know
if I'll be able to do abetter job than you just did, but
thanks so much for having me herejustin it's a pleasure, Yeah, for

(01:46):
sure. Man. Like we've knowneach other, we've chatted here, and
I've followed you for a little while, and I've seen the great things you're
doing. When your book came out, I was like, man, this
guy's gonna definitely make a difference.So let's start there. Could you give
us a brief overview of your bookand what inspired you to write it?
Well, I will say that thebook in many ways, was a calling.

(02:09):
It was a curse. As CharlesDickens once said, your calling is
your curse. It's the thing thatyou can't not do. But as far
as an overview of the book,the book is a memoir mixed with self
help. So the focus of thebook is actually how I overcame my own
trauma, the pain from the past, so that I stopped recycling it into

(02:30):
the present moment. So the bookpicks up a little over ten years ago
when I first acknowledged an experience thathappened to me when I was a young
teenager as sexual abuse, and thenthe journey that I went on years later
to overcoming and ultimately transcending the painfrom that experience, but also how that
pain helped me back in the differentareas of my life. Yeah. So

(02:53):
people have listened to my podcast,we have some similarities, but do you
mind going a little bit in depthto where you feel comfortable like that experience
and what that was like. Yeah. So it was an experience at Christian
summer camp, and it happened infront of all of my friends in fact,

(03:13):
and was very much played off asthis joke. And as a twelve
or thirteen year old, I didn'tknow what to do with nor how to
process that experience, and so Idid what most young teenagers would do.
I simply suppressed it. I pretendedas if it didn't happen, and because
it was more or less treated likea joke, I was able to brush

(03:36):
it off. Unfortunately, because thatincident didn't happen in secret or in silence,
it kind of followed me around throughoutmiddle school, throughout high school.
I grew up in a town ofone thousand people. I went to the
same church, same school with everyone, played the same sports with everyone,
and so it kind of was thisdark cloud hanging over my head for years

(04:00):
growing up that this experience had happened, that this man had taken advantage of
me in front of a bunch ofother people. That was probably a joke
to begin with, but clearly wentway too far and went way over the
line and was very inappropriate. Andit wasn't until I was probably in my
late twenties, so we're talking aboutfifteen years after the fact now, that

(04:23):
I started to do some self introspectionbecause I found myself repeating patterns, and
although I didn't have this language forit at the time, what I would
tell my clients is that the patternalways reveals the problem. Your results always
reveal what you believe about yourself.And it forced me to take a deeper
look into who I had become andwhy I was the way that I was,

(04:46):
And so I started going to therapy, meeting with a spiritual guidance counselor,
and through that I acknowledged that thisexperience was in fact sexual abuse.
It wasn't just this joke that Icould brush off or you know, brush
under the rug for lack of abetter phrase, and that it had that

(05:06):
it had impacted me in a reallysevere, severe way that caused me to
what I would say, act asif act as if I was fine,
as if I had it all together, as if I was successful, even
if internally I was suffering and was, you know, struggling. And so

(05:26):
that's what really the door to notjust healing, but to then ascending into
other areas of my life, becauseso much of my energy and my emotions
was being directed towards actively suppressing thisexperience so that I didn't have to deal
with the uncomfortable emotions attached to it. That's incredible, Like in you said

(05:49):
late twenties, I just I justwant to commend you on that, as
far as having the self awareness toeven realize that something's up, like to
realize that you need help. Somany people don't or suppress it, as
you say, I am guilty ofthat for a period of time and even
seeing in other areas of my life. And I believe people go their entire

(06:12):
life without ever really working through that. And so that's really cool that you
were able to realize that and workthrough it, and now your testimony and
your story it can be a powerfulsource to help others and just open up
especially men, right, like youknow, like I was motivated really my

(06:33):
book because I just saw there wasnot a lot of men who were talking
about it, and like, hereI come across you, and I just
think that's incredible. And your story'stotally different than mine. And so yours
was at a Christian summer camp,so obviously I assume that you grew up
Christian, right, So did that? So apologize for that. It's not

(06:53):
my wake up alarm. It's somethingI set just to keep my mood going
about how am I feeling at themoment anyway, So Christians camp? And
how did that did it? Orwhat did that do to your faith or
your beliefs? I mean, forsomething like that happened, and especially as
you started to realize, hey,this was something I was sexually abused,

(07:13):
especially as you said you related,did that have an effect or what did
that do to you in your faith. That's a good question. I don't
know if anybody's ever asked me that. Honestly, not much. Although what
I would say that I struggled withwas this pervasive discouragement that no matter how

(07:39):
much I prayed, no matter howmuch I read the Bible, no matter
how much I went to church,I still found myself repeating these patterns and
struggling with these things. At thetime, I didn't attribute those issues or
those challenges to this experience, andso I wouldn't say it impacted my faith
directly. But yeah, there wasthis pervasive discouragement that came from the fact

(08:03):
that I fell. The church inmany ways failed to offer me tangible transformation.
Right the church. The Church doesa really good job in terms of
imparting rules to people UH and moralitythrough the lens of law and order,
but when it comes to like tangibletransformation, which is not the same.

(08:26):
The church has a long way togo to be it has a long way
to go. And that's not that'snot me dogging the church whatsoever. It's
just more of an assessment or anobservation UH and conversations with people who have
who share a similar sentiment where theygo to church, they do all of
the things, and yet they stillfind themselves struggling with the same issues.

(08:50):
And that's because when you think aboutreligion, religion teases you up for a
life of performance. It causes usto and trauma does this as well.
Or even living in a society thatis very much driven by or focused on
achievement success or the pursuit of accolades, it causes you to or it causes

(09:18):
us to suppress the less than idealqualities and characteristics about ourselves and posture and
position the ideal qualities and characteristics aboutourselves. That creates a pressure cooker.
And when you live inside of apressure cooker, you're gonna need a coping
mechanism in order to relieve the pressure. Man, I mean, wow,

(09:45):
like the pressure cooker analogy, Ican so relate to in and and I'm
sorry that the church. I'm withyou on that, like do you because
I feel similar to that. Igrew up Catholic and while things were going
on and things my parents were awareof because one of the people involved in

(10:07):
my abuse was eventually arrested and servedlike five years in prison, but it
was still like, let's not talkabout it. Let's move on. That's
in the past, get over it. I even had a therapist. This
is where my This is where Ididn't have the best introduction of therapy.

(10:28):
I had a therapy therapist tell meyou're fine. So I assume, yeah,
I'm good. I'm good. Andthen I realized in other things that
you've already talked about, but thepressure cooker analogy is so great and we
and we see it, but wedon't even know it in you know,
you talk about this and and Ibelieve that's why you need tools, and
you need people and one sources andalone. And I talk about my faith

(10:52):
as a relationship. You know,people will let me down. Things will
let me down, religions, churches, because we all fall short. But
and something I started doing as aperson of faith because I realized, Man,
I have to make it my own. I have to make in my
relationship with Jesus. So like Ido this thing occasionally. I did it
yesterday and it's just profound for me. And so I'll share it on here

(11:13):
because I've never shared it on thepodcast. And now literally I was in
I was in like my hot tub, and I closed my eyes and I
was meditating, and I put myarm out like as if I was,
like, you know, sitting nextto Jesus and I just imagine having a
conversation with him. It sounds veryweird, but it was very It was
really cool and like asking questions,So, so, do you still find

(11:35):
yourself a person of faith follower Jesusor where are you at with that?
And I'd love to hear about that. Yes, is the short answer.
But I would say that I'm moreclosely aligned with Christian mystics as opposed to
the modern traditional conservative Christian Church fundamentalism. You know, And this is a

(12:01):
whole other topic for a whole otherconversation for sure. Yeah. Yeah,
you know, fundamentalism to reform theologyin many ways does a lot of harm
to people because it keeps them trappedin this cycle of shame because they haven't
broken free from this law and orderstage which we were always meant to transcend

(12:22):
as true believers. That has usvery incapable of knowing grace and receiving grace.
Man, I like that. Sobut yeah, so moving on.
So you've talked about it already onhere a little bit, and you obviously
talk about in your book and inyour influences, and it's the concept of
masking trauma with achievements. So canyou elaborate on that idea and how it

(12:46):
impacts our lives? Sure? Well, in the first half of life,
the focus is very much on thepursuit of power, possession, and prestige,
where we are overly focused on answeringthe question what do I want?
So it's really all about the self, the false self more specifically, because

(13:07):
when we're young children, we all, we all inherently take on personality traits
and characteristics of who we think weneed to be in order to be loved,
accepted and successful. So as wegrow up and as we grow older,
our personality is this amalgamation of genuinecharacteristics but also these adaptive traits,

(13:31):
these compensating characteristics that are not whowe genuinely authentically are, but who we
think we need to be in orderto be loved and loved, accepted and
successful. And all of that isborn out of the avoidance of pain.
And so how do we so weall start to mask is the short is

(13:54):
the short way to put it right? Personality literally directly derives from the Latin
word persona, which quite literally meansmask. Yeah, and so we start
to take on all of these masks. And I mentioned that I was doing
this after my abuse. I startedto act as if act as if I
was fine, as if I hadit all together, as if I was

(14:16):
successful. And we find so manymen struggling with this today. And that's
why, you know, in thework that I do with men, all
of men's work starts with the questionwhat have you been doing with your pain?
What are some of the answers youget? Most aren't doing anything with

(14:37):
it. Most are performing their wayaround it. And by performing, I
mean they're operating from the space ofthis illusion of this false self who is
not who they authentically truly are,but who they think they need to be
in order to be loved, acceptedand successful. That creates tension because inherently

(15:03):
it has us at odds within ourselves. And this is why so many men
nowadays struggle with anxiety, or depression, suicide, all of those things are
at an all time high, andthey don't know why, and beyond that,
they don't know what to do aboutit. Yeah, I'm with you,
I I totally agree with you.One numbercent. It's it's what I've

(15:24):
seen, and I like the analogymasks. And I've heard it said before,
but for some reason when you weresaying it, it made me think
of the movie. And while themovie, the movie Mask with Jim Carrey,
while that was comical, it wasa good image of like he put
on this mask to be super cool, right, and then like he took
it off he wasn't as cool essentially, and and and and we do this

(15:46):
and you said how people do itand they don't even know it? So
how do people even know? Like, you know, there might be people
listening to this right now and they'rethinking, do I have a mask?
Am I? Mask? Am I? Who? I? Like? You
know? On that in itself wellcreate even more stress, depression, and
anxiety. So you know, isthere things that people can start to look

(16:07):
for or what advice do you havefor people that are questioning or curious or
even to let them know that,you know, there's the you that you're
portraying and then there's the real you. So what advice do you Well,
how do you know if you're toanswer the question, how do you know
if you're operating from this PERSONA?Yeah, from this false self or this

(16:29):
admired identity, which Father Richard Goretalks about, is the felt sense of
safety that you experience inside of yourbody, because if you are operating from
the space of this persona like Imentioned, it is going to create tension
because you find yourself and a pressurecooker where you've got something to prove and

(16:53):
you've got something to protect. Sohow do you feel inside of your body
consistently? Right? Do you feelpressure in the chest? Do you feel
stressed in the shoulders? Right?All of these are all of these are

(17:15):
very very active physical manifestations of whatis going on inside of your psyche.
Now, obviously, the world ingeneral comes with its fair share of inherent
stressors, especially if you're a manproviding for the family, right, taking
care of the household, like allof these different responsibilities, especially if you're

(17:36):
a business owner. Because I workwith a lot of entrepreneurs, it comes
with its fair share of inherent stressors. But I think truly that the mark
of success for a man is howdoes he feel when he's sitting in silence
in a room alone. Most mencannot bear to be with themselves in silence

(18:00):
because that's when they're forced to confrontwho they really are, and they're forced
to confront their pain. Yeah,I agree with you. In fact,
that was me for a while.Uh how so resistant to like meditation and
breath work and and and I canso relate to that, and I'm sure

(18:22):
many can. You know. Ihave a friend that we were talking about
it, and he struggles with itand he's been through similar stuff. And
so it's it's one of those thingsthat when I was able to finally do
it, you know, I usedto justify it too. I'll give this
for those that are listening that mightrelate. I used to, Oh,
it's my add It's got to bemy add That's why I can't do it,

(18:45):
you know, right, Or Iwould justify in other ways or I
got this thing to do, orI'm too busy, or like why do
I need to do that? Likemake excuses. And then when I started
doing it, it opened up alot, you know, for me,
it actually gave me made me moreprouductive because my mind wasn't as busy.
It was able to feel a senseof calmness. And it's a process.

(19:07):
It's just like reps in the gym, is what I tell people you got
to get your reps in daily.For me, I enjoy it. I
can do it myself now. Butsometimes I enjoy like cold plunges or even
like laying on like an acupuncture map. But that's not always the case.
So I'm with you, like thatis that is a step to realizing I
think that I've never thought about likethat if if you just go sit in
a room and you've never done itand you can't quiet the mind. I

(19:32):
usually relate that to like I talkabout it in this next book that I'm
coming out with, and it's youknow, it's basically talking about comfort through
discomfort or discomfort through comfort, solike finding the comfortable, like how that
could be an uncomfortable thing to sitstill in a room and quiet the mind

(19:52):
about how comfort can come from it. So I'm glad you brought that up.
I'm glad you shared that because that'ssuch a pivotal tip, an important
tip to be realizing. So whatis some of the work that you do,
Like, what are some things thatyou can offer on here or the
things that you're doing people, especiallyonce they figure it out, so once
they realize, oh man, I'mnot my true self especially you said at

(20:15):
entrepreneurs So there's probably a lot ofvery professionally successful people but personally are struggling,
right, I mean, that's it'sa tale as old as time,
right, that someone is materially,financially, externally successful, but internally they
don't know peace. So yeah,I see this all the time with my

(20:37):
clients, and I work with myclients on this all the time. Who
have created an incredible amount of externalextrinsic success for themselves, but internally they
don't know peace. They struggle tobe with themselves. They struggle to slow
down, They constantly feel anxious,they struggle to take time off. Even

(21:00):
so even when they're taking time off, they struggle with that. They struggle
to enjoy themselves. They struggle withan overall level of fulfillment despite all of
their success, despite all of thatthey've accomplished, and on some deeply inherent
level, they feel empty. Andso yeah, we see this all the
time. In many ways, that'sa sign of unresolved or unreconciled pain.

(21:26):
Because when you have unresolved or unreconciledpain, you need to have, like
I mentioned, you need to havea coping mechanism well, a coping mechanism,
by definition, is an avoidant strategy, and so most men, I
mean, I think it's very easyto for example, I hesitate to say

(21:47):
demonized, because that's the really strongword, because coping mechanisms are very necessary
until you can learn to self sourcein another way, in a healthy way.
But drugs, alcohol, pornography likethose are the big three. So
like it's very easy to get behindwhere we can say, like, oh,
all of those are really unhealthy.But it's all of the what I

(22:07):
would call or refer to as noblecoping mechanisms that are much easier to justify,
right, say, for example,work justified behind the guise of providing
for the family, having a strongwork ethic, being growth minded or wanting
to leave a lasting legacy, orworking out and being obsessed with your health
and fitness justified behind the guys ofbeing health conscious, even serving or caretaking

(22:32):
for other people and constantly giving justifiedbehind the guise of being servant hearted,
right, or being selfless. Right, but that allows you to not focus
on yourself, Oh for sure,yeah, so right, it can be
very neurotic behavior, and so youknow, and there's many others that I
could go into but all of thesedifferent things are necessary a voted avoidance strategies

(23:00):
to enable men specific I mean thisis true for all people, but it's
specifically because I work with men.It enables men to avoid what's actually going
on with them internally. Yeah,and I see this. Uh you know
in anybody that has dealt with trauma, you say, men, females,

(23:22):
especially a man, it's a culturalthing to rite to be the man.
Uh. So there's that and alot of things you're saying on I've talked
talked about it in my posts,my pages, and you've touched on you
know, I used to chase painand so and so I'll offer up this
too. For those that are listening, Please don't beat yourself up. And
not that you would, but you'reprobably listening to some of this like,
well, I'm guilty of that.I'm guilty of this. I might.

(23:45):
And it's a process. It's alifelong process, wouldn't you say totally?
Yeah? Yeah, I mean thisprocess Unfortunately it never ends. Like that's
both the bad that's both the badnews and the good news, because while
we're healing from the past, we'resimultaneously incurring new wounds in the present.
And so, you know, naturecalls it evolution, religion calls it sanctification.

(24:07):
In many ways, it's the samething. We're all evolving, right,
and we're never going to stop evolvinguntil we until we die. And
so yeah, this is a lifelongprocess and so that's why it needs to
become a lifestyle for people. Ithink that's one of the biggest mistakes that
people make is they go see atherapist for a year and they're like,

(24:30):
I'm good, or they go toTony Robbins, you know, upw No,
if there's anything wrong with that,I think you can get a lot
of value. I'll But they createthese you know, they create these Christian
summer camp experiences which are great forlike inspiration and motivation, but you come

(24:52):
home in two weeks later you're theexact same person. That's just not how
change works. We have to healif we want to transform. We have
to heal if we want to transform. Most people are simply living the same
year over and over and over again, and they call it a life.
There's a lot of science that actuallygoes into this. What's that I said,

(25:14):
the groundhog effect. Yeah, there'sactually a lot of signs that goes
into this totally yep, one hundredpercent, and there's a lot of science
that goes into this that most people, like I think it's well over ninety
percent. They actually make the sameamount of money for the majority of their
professional life. They don't like itdoesn't vary that dramatically. Because when we

(25:40):
talk about the conversation around trauma andyou know, psychological development, we all
have a threshold in terms of whatwe feel safe to receive, and this
threshold is determined by our life.Our lived experiences, our parenting are conditioning
the environment that we were raised in. So anything beyond that threshold, whether
it's love and connection and intimacy,whether it's money and financial abundance, whether

(26:07):
it's opportunity within one's curve, anythingthat goes on that threshold feels like a
threat to our nervous system. Andso what do we do in those moments
We self sabotage, which is justanother way to say self protect And we
see this very prevalently with lottery winners. For example, over seventy two percent
of lottery winners eighteen months later areeither broke or in a worse financial position

(26:33):
than they were before having won thelottery. It's a similar professional athletes too,
if I believe, especially certain sports, and then we go even down
the rabbit hole of ethnicities that Ithink it's like seventy two percent. And
you probably know those two. SoI just wanted to bring that up for
those that may not have known.Its just it's similar environment. It is.
Yeah. Actually, there's a documentaryon I think it's ESPN thirty for

(26:57):
thirty called Broke where it I believeit focuses on NFL players and NBA players.
I didn't know that. Yeah,it's actually a really great documentary that
I want to say. It's likeover seventy percent of professional NFL athletes and
NBA athletes file for either Chapter sevenor Chapter eleven bankruptcy within five years after

(27:23):
having retired. And I know thosestats go up if you're like a minority
and things of that sort. Withthat, well, and that was that
was one of the primary focuses ofthe documentary, was was raced because obviously
when it comes to being a minority, so many people are subject to different

(27:44):
financial climates right in terms of theenvironment that they were raised in. A
totally absolutely financial fluency in terms ofaccess to education and access access to other
financial tools that are much more easilyaccessible for white people. And so,

(28:10):
but from a somatic perspective, froma trauma informspective perspective, because that's what
we're really talking about, from anervous system perspective, right, we don't
we experience the world through the lensof our nervous system. Right. So,
for example, to kind of touchback on the book, after my
abuse, love and connection fundamentally feltunsafe because it created this fracture where I

(28:38):
really struggle to trust people because hereI was having been taken advantage of in
a very profound way, in avery painful way. And not only that,
but it happened in front of allof my friends that I grew up
with, that I grew up within, the church that I went to school

(29:00):
with, and none of them intervenedand tried to stop it. And so
there were many different layers to theexperience that were very, very painful that
caused love and connection or deep levelsof love, intimacy and connection to fundamentally
feel unsafe in my body and somy nervous system whenever I would get to

(29:23):
a certain degree or a certain pointin terms of love and connection, I
would need to self sabotage in orderto return to safety, right, I
would need to self protect, andthat often looked like breaking off a relationship
for some random or obscure reason.I think we've a lot of people can
probably resonate with that, where it'slike it's just not a fit. You

(29:48):
know, I've been fired from everyprofessional job I've ever had, which is
why I thank God for entrepreneurship,right, I mean that's why I'm here.
Similar, Well there you go,Oh yeah, not every but like
a couple Yeah, I get it. Yeah, and so and you could.
I've been clinically diagnosed ADHD as well, So you know, you can

(30:12):
determine how much of that you wantto factor into the equation. But nevertheless,
all of these different things compiled togetherimpact how we experience ourselves, experience
other people, and how we relateto and interact with the world at large.
That in many ways determines our overalllevel of like material success, yes,

(30:37):
but also our level of peace andfulfillment. And it's a daily thing.
So yeah, self sabotage, man, you talked about it in relationships
as similar, So just as Igot older, and here here's the thing.
When I would have, like myfirst relationship, and I will not

(30:59):
say her name, my first seriousrelationship, she cheated on me. And
then it was the next one.And so I'm like, I started to
get it a false perception of whatlove was and I was always about So
I turned into what you mentioned earlier, like the giving, the serving,
and I've always been that way,but I started to It wasn't ntil later
on how much I was doing itto overcompensate. But one thing only the

(31:19):
reason I brought this up is becausesomething else. I want people to realize
that it was for me an experiencethat took me a while to realize.
I was like, I'm good becauseI'm doing all these good things. I'm
telling my story, but I wasn'treally receiving. That was big for me
to receive. And it was actuallyBible verses that I kept seeing over and

(31:40):
over again, or like I wasreading like this daily thing and it kept
talking about receiving and I read overit like whatever. And it wasn't until
one day that I read it.I read something and I was like,
oh my gosh, and it's whatyou said earlier. Started asking questions even
and I'm like, am I evenreceiving? And I figured it out I

(32:01):
wasn't, and it started, Actually, this is how late to the game
I was to receiving. I huggedmy now oldest daughter and instead of just
giving her hug, and I literallyjust held on to her and tried to
receive what she was giving. AndI cried, man, I'm like,

(32:22):
holy crap. For so long Iwas, I had a barrier, even
in my own child, and andI'm give, give, give, give,
give, but wasn't like letting asyou say love in man, right,
and which was And then I realizedThen my mind started would go down,

(32:42):
and I don't want to go downthe rabbit hole. But I started
to realize I wasn't fully giving myselfbecause I wasn't fully receiving from others,
so I couldn't really give the best. And it's still a work in progress.
I know I'm not exactly where Ineed to be, but that in
itself was a step. And sothat so I wanted to give that story
because it so relates to your book. But you talk about like these moments,
I call them awestruck because it waslike that for me, like the

(33:05):
first time, I like started likeI went through an atheist, like I
don't believe in this. I wantto argue I doesn't exist, and then
I had an awestruck moment got saved. You talk about these Tony Robbins,
and it's a daily, weekly,monthly of just waking up, you know,
self improvement, self awareness, andyou talk a lot about that.
You talk a lot about self improvement, and so what are some things as

(33:28):
far as for people that for personalgrowth, self improvement, things like that
that you encourage people that might bedealing with some of these things, especially
things that we've been talking about today. Sure, well, like I mentioned
earlier, we have to heal ifwe want to transform, if we want
to transcend into higher levels of love, abundance, success, opportunity, whatever

(33:53):
it may be for you, whateveris truly important, We have to heal
before we transform. And so thatstarts by first and foremost increasing our conscious
awareness, because we can't heal somethinguntil we are aware of it and the

(34:14):
felt impact of that in our lives. As Carl young One said, until
we make the unconscious conscious, itwill continue to direct your life, and
you will call it fate. It'snot what we're aware of, that hurts
us. It's what we're unaware of. Because what we're unaware of controls us.
That's like that, that's a quote. Man, it's not unaware,

(34:36):
it's not aware, it's what we'reunaware that hurts us. Man, that's
a good line. One. Sowhat we're unaware of controls us. The
minute we become aware, now weare in control of it. That's where
a true change can actually take place. And so I think if I were
to offer up a question to increase, you know, anyone who's listening to

(35:01):
this podcast episode, increase their consciousawareness, which is like I mentioned,
is the first step towards change wouldbe if my greatest strength is a compensating
strategy, what is my greatest strengthfor? So yeah, yeah, what
is my greatest strength for? AndI'll have to sit with that one for

(35:23):
sure. And so something I've beenthinking this whole time that we've been chatting
is there's obviously a large percentage ofthe population that will listen to this and
especially men and be like, man, I need to read that book or
I definitely need to change and Ineed to that's going to relate. But

(35:44):
there's another portion that might be listeningto this and like, why the hell
do I need to heal? I'mgood? Like that's what i'd like.
I'm a man, I'm good.This is just life. I'm good.
Why do I Why do I needthis? Why do I need to heal?
What did you say to them?Well, here's what I will say.

(36:06):
The ego hates being challenged, SoI will say that much. And
by ego I mean like this falseself, this false persona that we posture
in position that isn't who we trulyauthentically are. The ego hates being challenged,
and ego hates change more than anythingelse because change feels like death,

(36:30):
because we're forced to confront the partsof us that ultimately keep us trapped in
limitation right there. Change feels likedeath. So you're going to be resistant
to that. I love that.Correct. It's going to create resistance.
It's going to create resistance, andso we are constantly looking for evidence.

(36:54):
However, consciously or unconsciously, thistakes place to serve as confimation bias to
our existing beliefs and our present identity. I think we can all agree that
we want more opportunity, We wanta greater degree of happiness. We want

(37:17):
more love, more money, whateverit is. But our task is not
to seek for those things. Ourtask is to uncover and discover the barriers
within us that stand against those things. So, if you want to elevate

(37:43):
in any area of your life,right there's a lot of talk around like
goals, especially you know this timeof year where we're like we're halfway through
the year, right July first,right around the corner, you know,
reevaluate my goals, maybe set newones, whatever it may be. Well,

(38:04):
if a client ever comes to meand wants support in reaching their own
goals, before we ever talk abouttheir goals, we start to we have
to talk about the things that arecurrently standing in between them and accomplishing them.
Reconstruction without deconstruction is incomplete and insufficient. It's like building a house on
sand. You can build a houseon sand, but what happens when the

(38:27):
storm comes the home is washed away. That's biblical right there, Yeah,
totally, yeah, it's right,good analogy. And so you know,
so many people are trying to createa greater degree of overall success for themselves
in their life, whatever that lookslike, whether it's in relationship, whether
it's within their health, but theydon't have the requisite required foundation to be

(38:53):
able to hold and maintain and sustainthose results long term. So if you
want what you say you want truly, then you have to do the necessary
internal work to be able to supportthose things. Otherwise, like I mentioned,
you will get to a certain pointof success, of happiness, of

(39:15):
fulfillment, and you will self sabotagefor the sake of returning to what you
know and what is familiar to you. But I mean, I'm never going
to try to convince someone to change, because I think we all need to

(39:38):
be led to the edge of ourown private resources where we don't have the
answers at a certain point in timein life, where our strong will power
all of these mental resources, theseadaptive strategies, these coping mechanisms that we
have unconsciously taken on in an attemptto maintain the status quo, right,

(40:00):
because that's the number one goal ofthe ego is to maintain the status quo.
We all need to be led tothat point where we don't know what
to do and where we don't knowwhere to go, and we all need
help. And life does that,God does that. I can't do that

(40:21):
for someone, I can never wantit more for you than you want it
for yourself. So with your experienceand the people you work with, like
what's some of your experience, asfar as like people's personal beliefs spirituality as
far as influencing the process of lettinglove in and healing from past traumas well.

(40:43):
Spirituality gives us a higher source forliving. But you talked about a
relationship, you know, a relationshipwith God or to a higher power.
Whatever is true for you is ultimatelymeant to satisfy that which cannot satisfy because
nothing on this earth, whether it'smaterial, whether it's a relationship or otherwise,

(41:07):
was ever meant to fill that void. Grace creates the void that grace
alone can fill. And so wetruly need spirituality or a relationship with God
or to a higher power to provideus with this higher source for living that
allows us to transcend the material.Because if anything has proven itself time and

(41:36):
time again, you know money doesn'tbuy happiness. You know more doesn't More
only makes you want more. Thenext level only makes you want the next
level. So you realize very quicklythat it's a trap, especially if you're
an incredibly driven a sort of growthminded individual. Not that there's anything inherently
wrong with those things by any means, not that you shouldn't want them,

(41:59):
because in many ways I do believethat, you know, God gives us
the desires of our heart specifically,but it's it's the need for those things.
It's the attachment to those things thatends up creating suffering for so many
people. Yeah, I find itso fascinating. Like one of my favorite
studies was done on indigenous people thatare still in the world, and it

(42:22):
was a long term study. Itwas at least a decade, if not
like twenty twenty five years, andmaybe not that long, but it was
a long term study where they foundno signs of like mental illness, mental
health and indigenous people of the world. But in art not necessarily you and
me, but like in the worldterms, they're poor, right because they
don't have phone, they don't knowwhat we have. And I find that

(42:43):
fascinating too, And always I seelike this is me. My imagination runs
wild, and I love it,and I'm always like curious, like like,
for example, when Europeans came overhere, I like to believe Native
Americans are feeling pretty good, andthen they really oh my gosh, and
then things change and here we aretoday to this state. I'm always just

(43:04):
curious, at what point in humanhistory did we decide we need more.
I mean, I understand we wantedto build houses and partagative cells from like
savory with tigers and things like that, But this is you don't have to
answer this question. It's just somethingI want to talk out a lot of
for people to consider. Like,you know, we know now the indigenous
people that are still living on thisplanet are doing really good, no signs
of mental hellness. Another study wasabout like no back issues, and that's

(43:27):
something we all suffer not all,but like a lot of people suffer from,
especially here in the western part ofthe world. Back problems, mental
health problems. Things are not seeingin people that are living in the jungle
or in the woods or in thewild. So I bring that up because
you talk about this like where didthis come from? They're really happy,

(43:47):
there's community, they're connected. Butthen somewhere in human history decided to start
wanting mill are building buildings and carsand all these things. And then that's
where I feel like I'm not sayingthese are all bad either because they're here,
right, so we got to figureout and navigate a way. But
it's just something that always has beenon my mind for a long time.

(44:07):
Yeah. Well, if you thinkabout modern culture, modern culture is very
much predicated on this idea of aseparate self, right, and the need
to establish oneself, whereas indigenous culturesthat's not a thing. I actually I

(44:28):
got my undergrad and anthropology and sociology, so I actually studied a lot of
these cultures that you talk about Inningfor example, yep, and so they
don't have this notion of a separateself. They're intrinsically part of a tribe,
part of a community, which isso much bigger than the individual self.

(44:51):
However, like I mentioned, inmodern culture, there's this over emphasis
on the individual self and the needto assert or staf pablish oneself, which
is why there is such an emphasison power, possession and prestige, achievement,
success and accolades to position oneself orto establish oneself, Whereas in indigenous

(45:16):
cultures it's all about what's of highestgood and greatest benefit for the collective.
So they're operating at a completely differentdegree of consciousness. The minute you bring
in the concept of the individual selfand the need to establish the individual self.
You invite in two things, youinvite in comparison and competition, which

(45:43):
only further bolsters the separation that weexperience between the false self and the true
self. The greater degree of separationbetween those two things, the greater the
tension or the anxiety, the greaterthe depression, and the more pervasive and

(46:04):
the more likely you are to experiencemental health issues. Man, So something
that was I preach a lot aboutand I'm sure you do too, because
it's a cornerstone to letting love inand facing the truth. So letting love
in and facing the truth often involvesforgiveness, both of oneself and others.

(46:27):
And we've tipped on it, butI don't know if we used the word
forgiveness yet in this episode. Sohow can individuals navigate the process of forgiveness
and what benefits can it bring totheir lives? Well, it's interesting,
isn't it. It's kind of thisparadox how forgiveness in many ways is like
the ultimate hit to the ego.But I think if you do this work

(46:51):
enough, this interpersonal transformational healing workthat we're talking about, if you do
it enough, Forgiveness will be anorganic response because you're no longer carrying this
baggage. You're no longer carrying thisbaggage that you've held so tightly onto to

(47:15):
preserve these certain beliefs or this identitythat you've held onto for so long as
a means to self protect. You'regoing to let those things go, And
in the process of letting go,you're naturally going to gravitate towards for giving

(47:36):
other people, because you realize veryquickly that forgiveness is really the only way
that you can truly move on.It's kind of like the last step,
and I mean it's actually baked intoevery twelve step program at least that I
know of, is self forgiveness,and then it's forgiveness of other people.

(47:57):
And so I think you're going toorganically be called to forgive so that you
can actually embrace peace, because youknow, it's law that two things can't
occupy the same space at the sametime. It's the law of It's Newton's
law. If I am resentful,if I am bitter, if I am

(48:21):
recycling those emotions and embodying those emotions, because emotions get stored in our muscle
tissue fibers in our fascia. Thenother higher vibrational emotions cannot occupy that space
in my body, in my psyche, in my mind, it can't.

(48:46):
And so in order to let morelove in right, in order to invite
a greater degree of peace, injoy and fulfillment, I have to get
rid of those things. I haveto otherwise they're going to block me from
receiving more of those those higher vibrationalemotions like love, let joy, like

(49:10):
peace. So yeah, I don'tthink you necessarily need to worry about it.
I don't think there's like a formulanecessarily, But what I will say
is I do think that like forgivenessis a choice. I think it's a
decision, And I think it's importantto understand that readiness readiness has nothing to
do with a state of being.Readiness is always a decision. Readiness has

(49:40):
nothing to do with circumstances, Ithas nothing to do with a state of
Beingness has everything to do with adecision. So you make a decision to
forgive someone and to let go andmove on, and of course that's an
active process. But if you dothis enough, this work enough, eventually
you're gonna want to and be promptedto let go of the pain of the

(50:04):
past and the resentment, the bitterness, to anger, the frustration that you
harbor towards others because you realize,you recognize, however conscious you are of
this, that in order to accessa greater degree of love, joy,
peace, then you have to letthose things go. Yeah, And for
me it was early on, likeI for my mindset, and we're talking

(50:30):
young, I was it wasn't anythingother than my own. I didn't want
to feel I don't know, Idon't want to feel like shackled. I
don't want to feel controlled by somebodythat is no longer like something that they
did in my past. So Ifelt, man, as long as this
I allow this to not forgive tobother me. This wasn't even faith because

(50:52):
at this point when it came around, I wasn't even really I was at
that point where I was like challengingsure Christianity. So this was more just
I didn't read any books. Ijust one day I was like, I
feel shackled and I don't want tofeel shackled. And then that's how I
put it. Now, that's notit evolves since then for sure, but
uh, it's very Yeah, Ihad never even thought about it until you

(51:13):
said something. So I want toyou you say, I forgot how you
put it, But it just becomesa part of you. Like it's so
easy for me to forgive these days, like literally, like somebody hit hit
my vehicle a couple of months ago, and as soon as it happened,
I was like whatever, and theywere surprised that I was so kind and
helpful and nice and smile. I'mlike, it was an accident. We're

(51:34):
good, it's all right, areyou okay? Like well, because you
don't want to you don't want tobe burdened by the way those emotions.
But I never thought of right likethat, So I'm glad you brought that
up. Man, Yeah, Ididn't want to be burdened, but I
never I don't consciously think at thispoint, I don't want to be burdened
like as steps You're right, Idon't. I don't do that. I
never thought about It just becomes apart. So I'm glad you said that.
So is the more you work throughthat process. So that takes me

(51:58):
to my next question, And it'slike, you know, letting Levin and
facing the truth can be challenging formany people, right we We've touched on
it for sure throughout this episode.But you know, what advice do you
give someone who may be hesitant orafraid to embark on this journey, you
know, self discovery and healing.M So we've gotten past the guy,

(52:21):
why do I need to heal to? Okay, Okay, this is hard,
you know, sure I'm hesitant.Well, I think that I think
that our lives, our relationships,our financial situation, our businesses expand directly

(52:45):
in proportion to our willingness to confrontour pain and our past. Because until
we reconcile the pain from the past, we will inevitably recycle it into the
present moment. We will, wewill, And this is why a lot

(53:07):
of people, I ensure you've heardthis before, just because of how you
know involved you are in the personaldevelopment space where you know, I don't
feel like I'm in a relationship withyou, I feel like I'm in a
relationship with your trauma, right OrI don't feel like I'm in a relationship
with you, I feel like I'min a relationship with your mother. Really,

(53:29):
just all fancy ways of saying likeI feel like I'm in relationship to
your pain right now, not whoyou really are, not your authenticity,
your true self. I'm being confrontedby, you know, the pain from
the past in this moment that's simplybeing projected onto me or manifesting itself by

(53:52):
way of this conversation, this situation, or this incident. And so I
think our lives expand directly in proportionto with our willingness to confront our pain
and reconcile our past. And yes, that's tough, but it's tough either
way. It's just like investing.There's a cost to everything. There's a

(54:14):
cost to investing, there's also asignificant cost to not investing. There's a
cost to doing this work right,the uncomfortable nature of it. But there's
also a cost to continuing to carrythese things around because, as you pointed
out, they burden people. Andthere's a ton of science that goes into

(54:34):
this, like there's actually every emotionhas a vibrational frequency. So if you're
carrying around shame or guilt because ofsomething that you've done, or because of
something that has happened to you inthe past, like I can definitively say
that as a result of what happenedto me, I carried around a ton
of shame. I was humiliated.I was embarrassed because of what happened,

(54:55):
because it didn't happen in silence orin secrecy. It happened in front of
a bunch of other people, andtons of people knew about it. Everyone
in my high school knew that thishappened, and so there was a ton
of shame around this incident. Itfollowed me around and it wasn't until I
released that shame was I able toaccess freedom. So there's a cost to

(55:19):
everything. I think you just youneed to determine within yourself what cost do
you want to pay? Do youwant to you know, pay the price
of like momentary or temporary suffering forthe sake of freedom, Because you know,
there's different forms of freedom. There'sfreedom of restriction and there's freedom of
restraint. Freedom of restraint requires thatyou tie yourself down to something, Right,

(55:45):
if you want to really get inshape, you kind of have to
tie yourself down to health and fitness. You got to be consistent in going
to the gym. You got tobe consistent when it comes to prioritizing eating
healthy and investing in those types ofthings piano. If you want to become
really good at piano, you gottapractice, You got to tie yourself down
to it, And so there's alwaysa cost. It just comes down to

(56:09):
what cost do you ultimately want topay and what cost is going to be
greater, because in my experience,life only continues to get easier. For
fifteen plus years when I wasn't addressingthese things, life just continue to get
harder. Yes, I was ableto avoid confronting the pain of the past,

(56:30):
but I was continually and consistently makingit real and manifesting it in the
present. Yeah, So I wouldassume that you would say, like even
on like I do, Maybe youdo, but I doubt you wake up
every day is like rainbows and unicorns, And maybe you do. But even

(56:52):
on the challenging days, your motivationto keep doing the work is knowing that
what you just said there that itgets it's better, that it brings you
more freedom. As the words youuse as opposed to where you were,
I correlate it to almost like avideo game, like if you keep making
them the same mistakes are going downthe same path, You're never going to

(57:12):
make it a level too, youknow, so yep, yeah, yeah,
absolutely. I mean the more Ido this work, the better my
relationship thrives. The more love,intimacy, connection we experience in our relationship,
the more money financial abundance I make. Because now I don't have the

(57:35):
burden or like the tethers of theselower vibrational emotions like shame or guilt or
bitterness, resentment, anger, whateverit may be, I am able to
step into the energy of creation becausenow I don't have those emotions. I've
released those emotions, I've processed thoseemotions, I've transcended those emotions, and

(57:58):
now I'm able to step into creativity. Right, if you're in survival,
it's very, very difficult to stepinto creativity. If you think about it,
most people are living in survival.Most people have something to prove,
they have something to protect, right, and what are they trying to prove.
They're trying to prove that like Iam lovable or I am worthy,

(58:21):
But the underlying resonance beneath that isI'm not worthy, I'm not lovable,
and so all of their actions arejust to kind of prove that narrative wrong,
and it's cloaked in the energy ofprevention. And so when you're in
survival, when you're operating in thatway, it's very hard to step into

(58:42):
purpose, step into creativity, expressyourself authentically, you know, because you're
being burdened by these other things.You know, when you're drowning, the
only thing that you're concerned about isyour next breath. And that's where most
people are, That's how most peoplelive. Yeah, and even if you
find yourself in a successful category monetarilyor some of the categories you mentioned,

(59:04):
there's layers and levels. So ifyou haven't fully released or found your true
self, you might feel like I'min a good place, I'm a multi
millionaire, I'm doing all these greatthings, or wherever you're at, Yeah,
I'm this, I'm this title,I'm that title. But realizing that
if there's still things that are essentiallyholding your back or like you put it,

(59:29):
you know, you're drowning and tryingto catch your breath of sorts,
that it's having that self awareness andjust doing that and being open to the
vulnerability of the work that you needto do. So a man, we
could talk forever. We do needto wrap it up here soon. Is
there anything else you wanted to sharejust on like what I just mentioned there

(59:51):
as far as like that, andthen I have a couple more questions.
But it's just it's it's it's just, you know, how do people really,
you know, discuss the importance ofvulnerability or how do they even know
where to start with the self awareness? Do they need to go seek out
a therapist? Could they do someof these things on their own? I
mean, yes, I think,I mean, I think reading books,

(01:00:14):
listening to podcasts like this one area great first step. But like I
mentioned, the number one goal ofthe ego is to maintain the status quo.
How does it do that? Ithides the truth from you. Until
we make the unconscious conscious, itwill continue to direct your life, and
you will call it fate. Everyhero needs a guide. Whenever I have

(01:00:35):
a perspective, client asked me,why should I work with you? I'm
like, it's very easy. Isee what you can't. I see what
you can't. Ninety to ninety fivepercent of our behavior is driven by our
unconscious mind. Right, we allhave blind spots, and so at a
certain point in time, you know, we're only capable of growing so much

(01:00:57):
alone. Eventually, if you reallywant to continue down this path of growth.
Mastery is all about the nuances andthe details that requires working with a
professional, whether it's a clinician,whether it's a coach, you know,
whether it's someone who has a proventrack record for success. At a certain

(01:01:19):
point in time, you have toinvite in mentorship and coaching with someone who's
capable of pointing out your blind spots, who's capable of saying, Okay,
let's look at the patterns, becausethe pattern always reveals the problem. Let's
look at the patterns because the patternspaint a perfect picture and they tell a
really beautiful story about what we believeabout ourselves and ultimately what's holding us back.

(01:01:45):
And therein lies the opportunity you mentioneda little bit earlier, like you
know, not being a relationship withother people's trauma and being a natural relationship
with people so even like other people. So that's going to be a challenge
for a lot of people. Buthow to you, I mean, this
is what you do, this iswhat you help people. How do you
how do you what's the word Iwant to say, how do you still

(01:02:07):
create that keep or keep that healthymindset, keep those boundaries of sorts or
don't be burden or that become apart of you, like, like,
how do you do that? SoI do believe that there's two hundred percent
ownership in every relationship. There's youryour one hundred percent and then there's my

(01:02:28):
one hundred percent. I think ifpeople were actually able to be a fly
on the wall, for I'll sayquote unquote arguments between my partner carrying myself
and I say arguments quote unquote becausethey're not really arguments. It's kind of
us right slapping each other. I'mjust kidding, right web, Sorry,

(01:02:51):
you're good. We're constantly throughout thecourse of the conversation we're filtering through and
navigating what's mine what's yours, right, like what is my to own?
But what is what is not mineto own? And so okay, I'm
not going to take that on andI'm not going to make you wrong about
it, but I'm going to atleast bring awareness to the fact that,
like, I feel you're projecting somethingonto me in this moment. So it's

(01:03:14):
very conversation. It's very conversational,it's not accusatory. Rarely do we ever
get upset. I don't know thatwe've ever really yelled at one another because
our default instinct or impulse is curiosity, is one of curiosity and openness,
and so you know, we approachconflict through that way or in that way,

(01:03:37):
and it allows us to ask questionsaround like what's the real challenge here
for you, you know? Orwhat is it that you need from me
in this moment to be at peace, you know? Or is like there's
something I didn't do that I saidI was going to do, you know
that I went back on. I'mgoing to own that, you know.
But that's the thing. People havesuch a difficult time apologizing or admitting they're

(01:03:58):
wrong, for example, because ofthe cognitive dissonance that it creates. Right,
because of the rub and the resistancethat it creates. That's why change
is so difficult. The number onegoal of the ego is to maintain the
status quo. Cognitive dissonance is away in which it achieves that because of
the resistance that we experience whenever weexperience a paradigm shift, whenever we're confronted

(01:04:26):
by the possibility of needing to acknowledgewhen we're wrong or to say, hey,
you know what, I think there'ssomething there in what you're saying.
I think there's some truth there andI should probably chew on that. I
should probably explore it, contemplate it, consider it, that creates it takes
a very very humble human to dothat first and foremost a very strong,

(01:04:50):
courageous human to be able to dothat, because our ego sees that as
as a death. No longer bethat person who at one point in time
was a sounch Democrat. So Ihave to let that part of me die,
right, because now I see,like I don't know, I see

(01:05:12):
the inherent wisdom that comes with beingyou know, more conservative or Republican and
and like the different various beliefs thatthey maintain. This is not me like
advocating for what I'm saying. UhNo, I know what you're saying.
I just my parents. Yeah,my parents popped in my head because like
when I was growing up as akid and I was like in the grunge

(01:05:34):
area or arena, and I'm justthinking back to like I had ear piercings
and I was doing all these thingsand they considered me some like liberal hippie
and I'm like, I don't evencare about politics, but like just wait,
till you're my age, you'll you'llbecome more conservative and and and they
are conservative, they are Republicans.They claim the title, but it's just

(01:05:55):
and that's what I thought about.And uh, you know, so AnyWho
journey, isn't it right? Weinitially in the beginning, we overcompensate,
and then we decompensate, and thenafter that we properly compensate. The tone
that I get from you during thisentire episode is people are essentially and correct

(01:06:26):
me if I'm wrong, are essentiallystriving for peace, joy, happiness those
titles, but don't may not maynot even know it, And they're trying
to find it in other arenas,whether it be binge, watching shows in
fireworks and vices and sex and drugs, And it's in the tips and the

(01:06:49):
tools that you're offering seem simple,but not always easy, and a lot
of it's going to come from within, but to come from within you need
help. Yeah, we're only we'reonly capable of getting so far and growing
so much without support because we're allour own worst enemy, right, Like

(01:07:13):
you know, isn't that I thinkwe would we can all agree on that
at this point in time that we'reall our own worst enemy. You know,
no one enables us more than weenable ourselves, and so at a
certain point in time, yeah,we have to invite in a certain level
or a certain degree of support.I do think, you know, in

(01:07:35):
terms of doing this work on yourown, I think that that can get
you started. But what's going tokeep you going. It's absolutely going to
be the support of other people.If you want to go fast, go
alone, if you want to gofar, go together. Yeah, it's
something just came into my head.And I look at a mirror as a

(01:07:57):
as a good analogy for this,And many times it's hard to look in
the mirror on our own selves,and sometimes we just need somebody to support
our head and look and tell tellthem that you are loved, you were
great. I'm here to help,you know, just to hold that chin
up and look in there with youand really see the real self, not
the ugly version that is being masqueradedaround. Man. I really appreciate this.

(01:08:26):
We definitely are going to wrap itup here, but we could definitely
talk more. I really enjoy thispodcast. Is there any other thing you
know the title of this podcast isStrive through sixty five that you could offer
or provide, whether it be yourselfor anybody else, you know, just
help them strive personally, professionally,just to live a better life every day.
Yeah, I think. I thinka lot of good can come by

(01:08:46):
way of journaling and increasing one increasingone's conscious awareness, which is the first
step towards change. So contemplating consideringjournaling on the question if my greatest strength
is a compensating strategy, what ismy greatest strength for But as far as
the book, you can get thebook on Amazon. You can get it

(01:09:11):
via my website which is away withJake dot com best place to interact with
me. I think you already putit up there as my Instagram. Yeah,
I have all this in the shownotes for sure. Yeah, because
definitely check that book out, guys, I need to get a copy.
But yeah, it's definitely up therein that category. Definitely for anybody,
but definitely meant and even if I'lltell you this, even if you've may

(01:09:33):
not been experiencing this, think aboutit as a gift or think about it
as yourself to help understand people thatmight have been involved, because I think
that's another challenge with people. Ifyou don't understand, then then there could
be judgment. There could be alot of things going on, and I
just think we need to have moresympathy with those that might have been affected
this way to partially even try tounderstand. So you could be more of

(01:09:56):
an ear for those type of peopleand maybe even a guider to guide them
in the right direction or the rightperson. Well, thanks again, Jake,
appreciate you man, Good luck andGod blessed with everything out there.
And thanks for tuning to another episodeof Strive three sixty five. If you
did like this podcast, would youknow you did and you found value and
know somebody that will please. Thisis totally free done for you free content,

(01:10:18):
so like, share, and subscribe. We are on all channels from
YouTube, iTunes, podcast our Applepodcasts, and Google and the likes.
So send it out there because thatis one way of serving and helping others
by just sharing, liking, orcommenting on this episode. Thank you again
and take care. Thank you,