Ep 48: Polyamorist Arundhati Ghosh: All love is messy & beautiful

For Arundhati Ghosh, polyamory means “the desire, the ability and the practice of loving more than one person simultaneously, with or without sexual intimacy, and with the consent of all.” A practising polyamorist, cultural practitioner and social activist, the 53-year-old is the author of All Our Loves: Journeys with Polyamory in India, published by Aleph.

In her earlier years, she felt her feelings resonated with Ghalib’s couplet, Hazaron khwahishen aisi ki har khwahish pe dam nikle; Bahut nikle mere armaan lekin phir bhi kam nikle.” Here, she talks about how polyamory is not shallow, but a deep exploration of love, her dislike of the overarching concept of “one true love”, dealing with jealousy and the idea of commitment.

In this candid talk, Arundhati talks about exploring relationships minus the “relationship escalator” or conventional stops of marriage and dating, living a life that is “more honest and truthful to myself and others”. She quotes late author John Berger: "Never again shall a single story be told as though it were the only one." Listen in!

Timestamps:
01:00 What is polyamory and how is it different from a “situationship”?
08:30 One true love and the monogamy as a majoritarian trend
16:36 The relationship escalator…what’s next?
20:40 On her experience of monogamy
22:25 Her journey with polyamory
27:27 Polyamory historically in cultures
28:47 Navigating social openness as a polyamorist
33:53 Being a solo polyamorist and living with loneliness
35:45 Nesting partners and dealing with jealousy
45:11 What commitment means in polyamory
50:47 Managing multiple relationships; setting boundaries
56:00 The Indian legal system and polyamory
01:00:05 Red flags in polyamory; gaslighting
01:06:20 Who is it for?
01:09:10 Why polyamory works for her


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Disclaimer: Views and opinions expressed are personal. Listener discretion is advised.