Men, sex, and aging without the macho script. I sit down with Dr. Chris Donaghue—clinical sexologist, therapist, and host of Loveline—to unpack masculinity, libido, and connection in midlife. We dig into why “being a man” often blocks intimacy, how to get out of performance mode, and what it takes to be a better partner after 50.
We talk practical dating resets, equity vs. equality on first dates, why vibrators shouldn’t threaten anyone, and how to build a personal “relational mission statement.” If you’re newly single or just ready to evolve, this episode gives you a clear path back into your body, your values, and real intimacy.
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro: Men, sex, and aging without the script
01:12 Meet Dr. Chris Donaghue & why masculinity needs a reset
03:08 “Disidentifying” from gender roles to become a better partner
05:02 Getting back into your body vs. performing intimacy
06:45 Values, ethics, and your relational mission statement
08:36 America’s performance culture and its impact on love
10:10 Dating mindset: “The person you date is in your care”
12:04 Childhood socialization: boys vs. girls and empathy gaps
14:06 Rewriting the “strong man” expectation with softness
15:32 Who pays? Equality vs. equity on first dates
17:34 The confusion men feel: strong vs. vulnerable on demand
19:02 Emotional literacy: what men are “allowed” to feel
20:05 Sex talk: scripts, vibrators, and de-centering orgasm
22:11 How to date Karen: knowledge gaps, boundaries, and media
23:40 Public work ≠ no boundaries: consent and respect
25:02 “What are you working on?”—owning your growth
26:36 Therapy vs. “I coached myself”: why guidance matters
28:05 Practical first steps for newly single men
29:40 Libido as life energy: bringing passion back
31:02 Best sex isn’t performance—it’s connection
31:55 Wrap up + where to find Dr. Donaghue
Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!
Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.
This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.
Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:
Email: karen@taboototruth.com
Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast
About the Guest:
Dr. Chris Donaghue is a psychotherapist specializing in couples and sex therapy, with a private practice in addition to his work as a lecturer and educator. He serves as the Director of Clinical Education for The Sexual Health Alliance and is the Dean of Education and lead faculty for The Institute at The Sexual Health...
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.