In this follow-up to Part 1, I continue my candid conversation with licensed professional counselor and AASECT-certified sex therapist Kelvin Pace, diving even deeper into what consensual non-monogamy really looks like in practice. From swinging to polyamory to kink, we unpack the myths, labels, and lived realities behind open relationships. Kelvin explains why communication and consent—not structure—define success, and why non-monogamous relationships can often be just as loving and committed as traditional ones. We also explore the overlap between kink and CNM, how the military became part of swinging lore, and the importance of sex-positive therapy that challenges bias instead of pathologizing pleasure.
Timestamps:
00:00 – Welcome back & why you should listen to Part 1 first
00:58 – Do open marriages usually end?
02:03 – Swinging vs. polyamory: orientation or play?
04:25 – The many forms of consensual non-monogamy
06:10 – How kink overlaps (and doesn’t) with CNM
08:02 – The biggest myths about non-monogamy
10:10 – Therapy, bias, and the importance of consent
12:05 – Parenting and openness about sexuality
14:00 – Did swinging really start in the military?
15:22 – Kelvin’s quick-fire questions: definition, orgasm, fantasy
17:00 – Where to find Kelvin
Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!
Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.
This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.
Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:
Email: karen@taboototruth.com
Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast
About the Guest:
Kelvin Pace graduated with a master’s in clinical psychology from the University of Alaska Anchorage in 2009. He is a licensed professional counselor and supervisor and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor.
He is the owner of KpaceCounseling, LLC in Anchorage, Alaska. Kelvin works with couples and individuals dealing with sexual or relationship issues that include low desire, anxiety surrounding sex, and infidelity. His current focus is on mindfulness-based interventions to manage sexual concerns, working with individuals and couples either in or looking to explore non-traditional relationship orientations such as consensual/ethical non-monogamy.
Connect with Kelvin Pace:
Website: kpacecounseling.net
Instagram:
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.