March 5, 2024 • 40 mins
Denise Young of Love in Action Kingdom Coaching joins us this week to discuss finding one's purpose. Have you found yours?
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Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
How do you like to be apologizedto? Do I like to be how
I like to be apologized to?I guess face to face? Yeah,
face to face. And it hasto be sincere mm hm. You know.
(00:26):
It has to be where the personrecognizes that they did something to hurt
me, whatever that means, whateverthat may be. They have to recognize
that, you know, I'm messedup, and I apologize, not apologize
because they think it's going to makeme feel better. You know. So
even if it's like you know howsome people like they know they don't believe
(00:49):
that they're wrong, but I'm gonnaapologize anyway, right, Yeah, that
kind of thing. That's not anapology for me. But if you do
say, look, I don't believethat I was wrong and when I what
I did and I didn't mean todo that, and that I apologize whatever
whatever my reaction is or whatever thecase may be, that's sufficient for me.
(01:15):
But if the person actually knows whatthey did was wrong, they need
to They need to fess up tothat, own it and apologize. I
think it's fair. I face theface apology is fair? Is it?
Once people apologize? Do you takea beat to kind of work? Through
(01:36):
it, or you're like, Ican say if your apology, but I
need a minute. Okay. Sonow it depends on what it is.
It is something that really like mademe angry. Like when I feel that
anger, then I have to pullback for a little bit, okay,
(01:57):
And it's usually not that it's usuallyfor me, it's not that long because
I'm one of those that I letit roll off my back. I don't
hold on to a fence for toolong because I don't like the way holding
on to offenses makes me feel.I hate it, you know, because
I'm like angry and I have allthese thoughts going so I like to I
(02:19):
like to release it, like asquickly as possible. But there are times
where I have to say, okay, you know what, let me pull
back because it's really really hurt me, and so I need to, you
know, sit back and just sayokay. You know, I'll accept the
apology. You know, that's that'san automatic. But it's the emotions and
(02:42):
the feelings that I'm experiencing that Ihave to get under control. Yeah that
makes sense. Yeah, absolutely itdoes. Yeah, I think it does
take It does take time. Well, welcome everyone to another episode of Take
as Face podcast. I'm your host, Leah. I am here this week
with d Night. Hey Denise,how's it going. It's going good,
It's going good, it's going well. Thank you for asking how's it going
(03:06):
with you? Things are going,things are looking up. You know.
This is our second episode back andI am getting back into the groove of
things. So I'm doing good.I'm doing really good and am A couple
of times ago, I forget howlong it was an actual time we talked
about you developing a book, youconnecting with other women about their purpose,
(03:31):
and it really got me thinking abouthow do we help ourselves find what our
purpose is in life? Like doeseveryone have a purpose? Do I just
take a bunch of side quests oris there a main mission you know in
my life? And as you workwith these young ladies, and as I
hear your stories about how you're helpingthese women, I thought it'd be a
(03:53):
good time for us to have aconversation as early as we are in twenty
twenty four, to start figuring out, you know, what are we accomplishing
this year? What are we accomplishingin our lives? So we're just going
to talk a bit about today We'regoing to talk a bit today about developing
a plan for your purpose and youknow, identifying what your mission is in
(04:14):
life so that you know you're notfeeling like you're floating, but you're actually
connected and hopefully with community that helpsyou move toward that purpose. Yeah.
Yeah, So firstly, I wouldlike for you to explain what purpose is.
Okay, so purpose is having it'smore than a goal, but having
(04:45):
a having something to look towards,something that you need to, something that's
in your heart. That because I'ma Christian, so I'm going to say,
because what God has put you onthis planet to do, right,
He's given each and every person onthis or a purpose. It's something that
(05:06):
He has designed before even the foundationof the world, for each person to
do. And so our responsibility isto seek that out, is to seek
Him to give us that purpose.I've come to learn and find out that
when we don't have a purpose,we are we jump into stuff that we
(05:30):
don't need to be jumping into.I can agree, we're totally walking around
like I don't know what life isabout. I don't understand where I'm going
and what I'm doing. Should Ibe over here? Should I be over
there, should I be doing this? And when you have your purpose,
it hones in on Okay, thisis the steps I need to take to
get to that. This is whatbrings me joy, This is what brings
(05:53):
me passion. So now I canhone in and now I know what the
focus, so I know not tobe over here and over there and then
not doing this and then figuring outI got You know, you people experience
like I have so much on myplate. You know that's saying I have
so much on my plate. Well, it's because we have so much on
our plate. It's because we don'thave a purpose. We're all over the
place, so we take on thingsthat we're not created to do, we're
(06:18):
not assigned to do because we don'thave a purpose. So it's that thing
that we are called to do inour lives. Now, I believe purposes
can change. It's fluid. Soyou know, my assignment for this year
(06:42):
could be ABC and D. Youknow my assignment my purpose for this year,
and then throughout the year it mayshift to something else. But I
come to learn too that all yourdifferent purposes, I guess or assignments or
calling all twines into the same thing. Yeah. So my purpose is to
(07:05):
help women determine what their God givenpurposes so that they can live it out
within the Kingdom of God right nowon the earth. And once they we
determine that, then I help themwalk that out, live it out,
(07:25):
to help them to say, focus, and that's importance of consistency, goal
setting, you know, all thatto keep you keep your mind in a
place of where focused. Because ifyou don't have that, you really have
no. It's to me, youhave no life because you're just floating.
You have no You're in a jobthat you hate. Why because you don't
(07:48):
belong there. That's not your purpose. Well, I needed to make money,
Yeah, okay, do that.I wasted twenty five years I think
I could say twenty five years ormore in a job that I didn't want
to be in because there was somethingelse that I was called to do,
(08:09):
even though I didn't even know whatthat was. But I know I was
supposed to sit there twenty yeah,or let me say twenty eight yeah,
because that's when I finally retired fromthat job. God said, okay,
you can, oh goodness, goodblow, you can go ahead and do
you know do what I called you? To. So a lot of people
(08:31):
are in jobs and positions and placeswhere they're not happy because they are not
in line with their purpose and whatthey're called to do and what their passion
is. And so that's purpose forme. It's like your life. It's
a guide to this is what I'mcalled to do me on the earth.
(08:54):
And once you get that to thefilled I'm sorry, go ahead, yeah,
I said, once you determine thatyou become fulfilled, do you become
happy? Joyful? Like, yes, I'm doing what i feel like deep
down in my soul, I'm supposedto be. Point. I do want
to touch on the happiness part ofit, the happiness part of the journey
(09:15):
in just a moment. But asyou were talking, I'm thinking about because
right now I'm in school to getmy degree, and it has been one
of the toughest things that I haveactually had to do because I had to
commit to it, I had tobe disciplined in it, and I had
to do it consistently well, youknow, to finish, and so it
(09:41):
as you were talking about purpose.When I was busy, I felt like
I had to do fifteen different thingsevery single day to stay on top of
everything. But when I sat downand sort it through the stuff, just
the stuff of what was what Iwas doing from day to day, and
I took out all the stuff thathad nothing to do with work, nothing
(10:03):
to do with school, and nothingto do with it was work, school,
and whatever my outlet was at thetime, right, And so I
think it was working out. Ifit had nothing to do with those three
outside of church, then I wasnot going to commit to it. I
was not going to do it.I found that I had way more time
(10:26):
to rest, way more downtime,way more time for extra everything else when
I focused on those things, andI felt at peace. And I feel
like that that piece is something thatpeople don't realize that they need, and
so they chase happiness. Oh I'mnot happy in this job right now,
(10:50):
so maybe I should move on tosomething else or I need to feel happy.
And because I don't feel happy,I'm really depressed. And I don't
think we're suppose sposed to be happyall the time. I mean, school
does not make me super excited,but I'm at peace because I know it's
what I'm supposed to be doing atthis moment, Like this is the season
for me to be in school andfinish, and so I feel like sometimes
(11:16):
people chase that happiness or they chaseall the other things because their mom told
them they're supposed to do something,their dad told them, they're supposed to
be something, their job told them, they're supposed to be in this place,
or other people are telling them whatthey should be. Oh, I
could see you being this or Icould see being that, but they're not,
you know, looking to God tosay, Lord, where should I
be going? Right? What directionam I supposed to be in? And
(11:39):
even if things are hard, likeright now, there's a lot of things
that I'm going through at work atschool that are hard, but these hard
things are shaping and molding my characterto prepare me for whatever is coming in
the next season. Right, So, how how can people determine? You
(12:03):
know, after seeking God and theyhave their they have their purpose because we
know the first thing, see God, right, and they they sought them
out, they have their purpose.Now what Okay? So once you determine
what that is whatever? So forme, I'll use me as an example.
(12:26):
I recognize that what my purpose is, and it's really helping women moving
from A to B, finding whatthat A is and moving and looping forward
in that. It's not easy,right, but when I look at it
and I determine, like in myheart, this is what I know,
(12:46):
this is what I'm supposed to dobecause it does make me joyful. It
makes me happy, even in thetimes where so much work, you know,
because I gotta go to school,right, I have to study,
I have to I have to getout there to meet people because I'm an
(13:07):
introvert. Right, So I'm anextrovert when I have to be. And
the majority of time I don't wantto be an extrovert, but I have.
But I'm an introvert. So nowI got to get out of my
comfort zone and go out and touchthese people, you know, to to
in order to get clients, tobe able to help help people. So
in those times, yeah, Ifeel like I don't want to do this.
(13:30):
I don't feel happy, I feelsad, I feel depressed, I
don't feel joy in doing it.But once I remain focused on why I'm
doing it, then it says,okay, I can do. When I
can handle these things right, youalso can get it like an accountability partner
to help you walk through that andremind you because sometimes when you're going through
(13:52):
something. Whenever you're going through something, it's like this, I just don't
want to do it. It's justtoo hard. Sometimes you need somebody because
you mentioned community, you know,you need somebody to push you, to
help push you like you can dothis. You can do this. Remember
why you're doing it. So thenext step is once you find that out,
(14:18):
then you need to find out,Okay, how what steps do I
need to take to walk in this? Do I have to go to school?
Do I have to get a degree? Oh? Yeah, you're gonna
have to do that. When youthink about your purpose, how does it
make you feel? Do you feeljoyful? Do you feel happy when you
even just sit and think about it? Just the purpose, not the steps
(14:39):
you gotta do to get there,but just right because the steps is going
to be like oh I don't wantto you know, but you got to
remember why you're doing it. Whatis that purpose? And how does that
purpose make you feel? So whenyou come up to those times where you
have to go to school and getyour degree and you have to take this
particular job to even funded, youcan remember like, well, this is
(15:01):
why I'm doin it, and justmeditate on that take some time to meditate
on that so that you can remainfocused in what you need to do.
And so like when you when yousaid that you focusing on three different things
and anything that comes in that's notpart of that, something else you gotta
(15:24):
do. It's hard, It ishard. I want to go. I
want to I want to go outto eat with you all. I want
to go do this. And it'slike, but is your homework done?
Are your projects finished? What deadlinesare you are coming up? Right?
Now? Right? And if youcan't commit to yourself, If you can't
(15:48):
if you understand what your purpose is, you've got confirmation. God told you
what it is, and you chooseto not commit to that. Like you
said, God will let you float. You have freedom of choice, right,
we have free will. We canfloat and and be doing whatever.
(16:11):
Mm hmm. But when we walkin our purpose, it's important to stay
committed. There's not going to bea time when we're able to do everything
one hundred percent well because we're human. But like you said, having community,
Like my sisters will call me,hey, did you get your paper
done? But they'll also be excitedwhen I say, hey, I got
my paperback, I got a that'sright, let's go out and get Now
(16:33):
we can go out and now wecan now we have some Yeah. Oh
yeah, I'm big. I'm bigon I learned to be big on that.
So it's like, okay, soif I finished this project right here,
I'm going to treat myself to boomwhatever it is. Me. It
was a set of earrings that I'vewanted for so long, and I finished
the project. It helped me.It helped me stay focused, and I
(16:56):
was able to get it done.I said, now, you know,
and then I rejoice in that,you know, and it makes me happy,
right And it's some people it's notthings that makes him happy. Maybe
it could be whatever, spending timewith family, Like Okay, if I
finish this, I'm gonna call mygirlfriend and we're gonna go have drinks,
you know, or whatever that mayyou know, whatever that may be,
(17:19):
to reward yourself in getting the jobdone, you know, because sometimes we
get the job done and then letme pick up the next thing out,
let me pick up the next thing, and then we start to burn out
and realize, hey, you know, no, we need to we need
to say it's okay, that it'sdone. And I think about when I
(17:40):
think about standing before God one day, I want him to say well done,
good and faithful servant. So ifI'm doing my project and I get
that project done, i know He'slike, yes, let's go to the
next step. Good job, Let'slet's go to the next step, you
know. So yeah, I mean, I think community is one of the
most in one of the most importantthings because we can't do our purpose is
(18:03):
not for us anyway, right.Whatever God calls us to give, God
calls us to do is to dofor others. It's not all about me.
And I think also when we dothings for others, it just things.
I don't know, it just andyou see that person smile on their
face, you know, or they'reoperating in what they're supposed to be doing,
(18:26):
whatever it is. It could beif God is calling you to be
a graphic artist or something graphics,you know, helping people that website.
You know, how does that makeyou feel when they say, oh,
this is my friends love it.You know, it's like that, hey,
you know, it brings that Itmakes me happy to see others happy.
(18:48):
Right, So, and our purposeshould be in line with doing for
other people because as we do forthe more we do for others, we
do we automatically doing for ourselves.Well we're not, you know, living
on an island or anything like that. So yeah, I think it's I
think community is important, Consistency,of course, commitment definitely, are any
(19:11):
of those easy. No, No, we're still human. We're still human.
We're and God has not called us, you know, to be perfect.
Mm hm. He called us tobe perfect in how he has created
(19:33):
us, how He's created me.So there's things that I cannot do,
the things that I'm not capable ofdoing, and there's some things that I
just don't want to do. Butthat's how I'm made up, right,
So I'm going to be perfect inwhat God has created me to be and
what He's created me to do,and just live by his grace when I
just don't do it. That's Ithink that people should give themselves more grace
(20:03):
because there are things and because Iwas for a long time I was like
I don't know what I'm not surewhat I'm supposed to be doing or where
I'm supposed to be going or anythinglike that. But I knew like five
years before I start asking those questionswhat I was supposed to be doing.
Like God told me almost like overten years ago, that I was supposed
(20:26):
to finish school and when I finishschool, I'll be ready for the next
thing. But I did not wantto finish school. And now you talk
about twenty eight years, I'm liketen years. Like I didn't waste ten
years. I've learned a lot,but further should I should I have listened
in the beginning. But He's stillgiving me the grace to have the community
(20:48):
to understand what I because I feellike God just like there's a margin of
error. He makes room for oursilliness, our stupidity, our unwillingness to
it here to what he's saying,our whatever, whatever you want to call
it, our stubbornness, there's there'sa margin of error for it. Right.
He's not surprised at Oh, it'syou're you're not on time. You
(21:12):
you waste it all this time.And so I feel like God still gives
us that grace to say, Okay, I know you're gonna need some time,
but I'm telling you what it isnow, so you can't say that
you didn't know. And when you'reready, I'll still be here. Don't
wait too long and as I'm nowgoing through it, I'm finding the community.
(21:32):
As as each step that I takegoing through the process to get get
through to the purpose, people arecoming alongside of me in community. There's
I'm having better commitment and I'm willingto give myself. Part of the commitment
is making sure that my tools aresharpened. And that may come through relaxation.
(21:53):
That may come through for the otherstanding, further education. It may
come through connection with other people,because you know, iron sharp and iron
and maybe I need to be connectedwith people. It may come through challenges
where God is like, oh,you don't know how to do this,
so let me put this in frontof you so you can figure out and
get that get that strength up inthat area. And so it has definitely
(22:18):
been a process, but I trulybelieve that when when you do walk in
purpose, you get the benefit ofcommunity, You get the benefit of understanding
the importance of discipline and commitment.You get the benefit of understanding and maintaining
consistency. And consistency doesn't mean thatyou have to do something every single day.
(22:41):
You just have to be consistent,even if you're doing it once a
week, even if you're doing threetimes a week one month, Like you
have to be consistent in what you'redoing, showing him yourself. I think
that was a big thing because Ifelt that I wasn't I didn't respect myself
enough to be committed. I knewI needed to do it, but I'll
(23:03):
get to it. But once Istarted like, no, I've earned this
respect, Like I need to showup for myself. Yep. I need
to show people how to treat me. I need to show people that I'm
about my business so that when eventsdo come up or think or you know,
people do come into my life thatdon't align with where I'm going,
they're either going to pull me tothe side or pull me back. And
(23:26):
if I allow that to happen,I don't know how much longer I'll be
off course. Yeah, yeah,And sometimes we sometimes we do that,
right, Like sometimes we just becausewe feel like there's something missing. You
know, I'm on my road,I'm doing my thing, I'm doing my
(23:48):
thing, and then I you know, because sometimes you can start feeling lonely,
like you know, this is likeI feel like I'm doing this all
by myself, and you know,and then something comes up and then you
end up going over here, andthen and all of a sudden you're over
here, over here, over here, over here, and then your purpose
is over there, and then you'relike, what happened? How did I
get into this session? How didI get here? You know? Yeah?
(24:11):
And so that's why, Yeah,it's it's in an importance of remembering
what and why you were created forand to focus on that and know that
you're not missing. I'm trying toremember that saying that. Dave Ramsey says,
Oh, live like no one else, Live like no one else,
(24:32):
Live like no one else, sothat you can live like no one else.
So I was going, what theheck does that mean? He just
he just double said the same thing. But what he was saying was like,
like, when you're budgeting, right, while everybody's out there spending thousands
and thousands and millions and millions ofdollars, you're here saving, scrimping and
(24:52):
saving, you know, like you'resaving your pennies. You're not going out
not doing this, and your friendsare out there and they're doing all these
things. But as you're working onyour budget and you're putting money aside and
putting money aside, putting now you'refree now you're able to live like no
(25:15):
one else because now your friends arebroke. Your friends are broke, they
can't go nowhere, but you couldbe traveling and you could do all kinds
of, you know, all kindsof wonderful things because you are so focused
on being debt free, focused onsaving money, focused on making sure that
(25:37):
you're financially stable, versus out theredoing what everybody else is doing. So
it's like living like no one elsebecause no one else is budgeting like you,
no one else is saving like you. And then eventually you'll be with
those people who are you know,to have the money like and they're doing
their vacations and all of that,then you're able to do the same,
(25:59):
you know. So that's what Ithink like about purpose, Like you're working
your purpose, working all the thingsyou need to do so that you can
go out there and do what Godhas called you to do, and that
is by being consistent, by doingall the hard things, not being perfect,
and you're not going to be perfectin it, you know, but
striving to do that and just sayingfocus so that you can actually be all
(26:25):
that God has called you to beand do and be fulfilled because part of
your purpose is being fulfilled. Yeah, you know so, yeah, so
I think about I think about likeall of that work, I'm doing,
all the work that I have todo to be able to experience that joy,
(26:45):
that fulfillment, you know, thathappiness. It's going to be worth
it at the end because I'll beable to experience that. You said earlier
that we can have multiple purposes throughoutour lifeline. Throughout our lifetime, there
are multiple times where you fulfill aneed for a season, you fulfill a
(27:11):
need at a point in time,or you are working to fulfill a need
over the course of your lifetime.Right have you been in a place where
you have been able to fill aneed in a season and that was your
purpose? How did you feel whenit was accomplished? Oh? Girl,
Well, when I look back.One of the things that God has called
(27:38):
me to do, and I thinkthat everybody should do this because it helps
determine your purpose, is to lookback over your life and see if there's
any themes there. You know,is this something that reoccurred over and over.
Now it may not be exactly thesame, but it's a familiar like,
Hey, I did I did thatfor me? It was working with
(28:00):
teenagers. Okay, So when II was a like I said earlier,
I was an introvert. Like youknow, I was happy growing up when
I was in middle school and highschool. Go to school and come home
and sit in the house all day, eat stuff my face, watch TV.
No, that was my life.Oh no, I was comfortable without
(28:23):
knowing anybody. I was comfortable withjust that. But no, my mom
said, oh, heck no,we ain't doing this. So, uh,
there's this place called Henry Street Settlementthat was like right across the street
from where I lived. And sheI'm gonna say literally, but she dragged
me over there and she goes,look, my daughter needs to do something
(28:45):
because she's just not you know,she's just home. And so they had
this program called the Pioneers, whichwas similar to a It was so much
fun. It was similar to sorority, but it was it was co ed
for teenagers. So these gentlemen whowent to college came back to the neighborhood.
(29:08):
They were all Omega sci Fi decidedthat they were going to take some
of those things that they did inthere and train the people in the lower
income neighborhood. So we had towear so we had to wear a uniform,
we had to march in place liketogether in the streets, we did
(29:30):
stepping. It was just it wasa lot of fun. I'll show you
the picture one day. So afterI went through the program, I was
only fifteen. When I was sixteen, they asked me to be a co
leader to other teenagers. I haveto teach them only like two years a
(29:52):
year older than them. Then thefollowing year after that, I was graduating
high school. It was my lastyear I became a leader. So that
was that was that. So Ileft, I went to college, didn't
new college, got kicked out,and I sometimes I wonder if my mother
regrets it because that's where when Iwas at Henry Street, although I did
(30:15):
all that stuff, that's where Ilearned to smoke, drink, hang out
all hours of the night. Butanyway, so after that, several years
passed, I gave my life toChrist and then I started working with teens
again. Why am I working withteens again in the church. So it
(30:36):
was just like this whole thing aboutand it was like leadership. It was
always leadership, leadership, young people, leadership, young people. So I
felt like, okay, so mypurpose is to foreign to young people,
which I love. That is myheart and you know, Lea, that's
my thing. So I led.I came to Charlot and I led a
(31:02):
Bible study in my home for teenagerson Friday nights in the neighborhood. I
did that for several years. ThenI went to Elevation. I did it
again. I had a group ofgirls and I went with them through middle
school all the way till they graduatedhigh school and most of them are in
college. So now it's being shiftedfrom teenage girls to women. Okay,
(31:33):
so right now that's what my purposeis. So looking back on my life,
I'm looking I looked back on whatwas the pattern. The pattern was
teenager and the pattern was leadership.Throughout my life. I didn't mention my
college. It was all leader myjobs, the jobs that I had,
they always called me to. Neverwent to go and ask for a promotion.
(31:55):
Supervisor tapped me on the shoulder,Denise, would you be interested in
being a s would be interested withwhat? So I noticed that its leadership
and the leadership it was always helpingpeople go from one step to the next.
Hence, now I'm a coach becausefirst I thought I was going to
(32:19):
be a biblical counselor and went toschool and it was like getting my master's
and getting license. It was justnot for me. Being a counselor didn't
move people to move forward. Itwas more dealing with their emotions and their
(32:43):
psychological issues versus taking the person who'swhole or even have some kind of limiting
beliefs, because limiting beliefs can stopus from moving forward. At least when
you get over that as limiting beliefs, you can move forward, but not
not more the psychological problem. Isaid, that's not that's not my calling.
(33:05):
My calling. My purpose is tomove somebody from A to B.
So it did change from teenagers toadults, which I never wanted to do
adults, so but anyway, Ihad something else in mind. So yeah,
So the although the theme is stillthe same, but it's a different
(33:30):
it's a different demographic. Now,it's a different you know. So now
I have to learn about the adultissues because I did a lot with I
got my bachelor's degree in youth ministryand psychology. So now it's really focusing
on adult women single adult women now, so that's one of the things that
(33:52):
looking back on your life to determinethat, and then there be there will
be a time where that changed.So even like in my jobs, all
those leadership positions in the corporate world, I guess then that's what my purpose
was, to be a leader,but that also changed, like, well,
(34:14):
not into the corporate world anymore,and now it's more into entrepreneurship.
So our purposes, yeah, cancan change. And sometimes looking back over
your life to determine and also todetermine am I moving in the right direction?
So yeah, did that answer yourquestion? It did? It did,
(34:38):
and I think it gave people encouragementto know that as you are fulfilling
your purpose, as you are living, you know, in your life,
you can look at what you've doneempirically to say, okay, well this
is the golden thread through everything.And these are times where I felt accomplished,
(34:59):
where I felt empowered, where Ifelt like I can take on the
world, and where I can feellike, you know, I've got this
and things like that not operating youknow, in your own power strength,
but what God is giving you inyour gift to give the world. And
I feel like just that kind ofreminder it gives people the confidence to say,
(35:22):
Okay, I'm going to pursue this. Now we have both said the
process is work. It is work. It's not going to be laughs and
giggles all the time, but itis absolutely worth it when you hit that
finish line, or when you noteven when you hit the finish line,
but when you're operating in that purpose, when you were actually doing the thing,
(35:45):
and even when you're doing the thingand it feels like work, you're
still grateful for the space that you'rein of actually doing the thing. I
know I can speak for myself andsay that, and Denise, you've said
it a couple different ways, andI think it's great that they can have
these examples to say, Okay,which direction am I choosing to go?
(36:05):
Am I choosing to follow what Godhas told me? Or am I going
to keep kind of doing my ownthing until I'm ready to go? And
So I hope that you make theright choice. I hope that you continue
to do things that's going to helpyou grow, help you move forward,
help you keep seeking God, andhelp you have community where you can take
up space where you can honor yourselfand honor with the gifts that God has
(36:27):
given you. By serving the peoplethat you are connected to. Thank you
so much for this conversation, Denise, it was very very very good.
Do you have this thing I wantto just yeah, because you're about to
ask me. Yeah, just onemore thing I wanted to to mention too.
Once you know your purpose and youknow it deep deep, deep deep
(36:50):
down that this is what you arecalled to do, be careful of the
voices you listen to because there couldbe some people that say, well,
sure or maybe not. And youknow, I don't think you're gifted in
that be no, you shouldn't bedoing. Be careful on who the voice
is that you're you're listening to listento that inner voice because it's the Holy
(37:13):
Spirit directing you to say, thisis what I'm calling you to. I
don't care what anybody says, becausethe enemy would love for us to get
sidetracked. Yes, to move usover here, but we should be here.
So just be careful about Because wedid talk about community, be careful
and watchful of the community that you'rein. Make sure those that community that
(37:37):
you're in or even if you docoaching, that that person O those people
are going to push you forward intoyour calling right and also be honest with
you as well, and not sugarcoatstuff, but to be very honest with
you and that they're going to pushand make sure that you know you are
operating in what God calls you to. The thing to get to know what
(38:00):
your spiritual gifts are, because yourspiritual gifts are going to help you in
your purpose. Know your strengths andyour weaknesses. Don't focus on the weaknesses.
Focus on your strengths. So it'sbecause we focus on our weakness,
and when we focus on our weakness, we don't do anything. I can't
do it because I can't do it. Ah, you know, no,
(38:23):
focus on your strength. And ifthere's a weakness that God has calling you
to turn into a strength, thendo that. But your main focus is
really one watch the community that you'rein and know what your spiritual gifts are.
Know what your strengths strengths are,Knows what gives you passion, what
(38:44):
makes makes your heart you know,joyful, even what makes your heart sad,
like what makes you really really sad, Because once you determine what you're
really sad about, then that meansthere's a need and maybe God is calling
you to fulfill that need. Soyeah, I just wanted to share a
(39:06):
couple of those things. So thankyou very much. Do you have anything
that you would like to plug anywherethat people can follow you, any products
and services that they can partake in. Yeah? Sure, I you can
find me on Loving Action, kingdomcoachdot com. That's my website. And
on my website it has all theinformation that you'll need. It has my
(39:29):
Facebook, Twitter, Facebook Twitter,what do else? I have Instagram accounts,
my email address, my phone number, anything that you need. Also,
it has the different packages that Ioffer in there, so you can
see that you can reach out tome if you're not sure. I do
(39:50):
free consultations half an hour confro concconsultations to know exactly if I'm the one
for you, all right, becausethat's one and you gotta make sure that
the if you do coaching or evencounseling that matter, make sure that you
click with the person, all right. So yeah, so you can find
(40:12):
find me on those Okay, great, great, thank you so much.
I really appreciate you. Please makesure that you follow the niece. You
check her out, follow her onall her social media. Please make sure
that you also follow take us facePod, Take us as pod on Facebook,
Instagram, and Twitter which is nowX but I'm still gonna call it
Twitter. And I hope that youall have a wonderful day. Please let
(40:34):
us know in the comments any questionsthat you may have, because I feel
like this episode is going to needa part two. All right, everyone,
have a great one for it.Bye bye.
How do you like to be apologizedto? Do I like to be how
I like to be apologized to?I guess face to face? Yeah,
face to face. And it hasto be sincere mm hm. You know.
(00:26):
It has to be where the personrecognizes that they did something to hurt
me, whatever that means, whateverthat may be. They have to recognize
that, you know, I'm messedup, and I apologize, not apologize
because they think it's going to makeme feel better. You know. So
even if it's like you know howsome people like they know they don't believe
(00:49):
that they're wrong, but I'm gonnaapologize anyway, right, Yeah, that
kind of thing. That's not anapology for me. But if you do
say, look, I don't believethat I was wrong and when I what
I did and I didn't mean todo that, and that I apologize whatever
whatever my reaction is or whatever thecase may be, that's sufficient for me.
(01:15):
But if the person actually knows whatthey did was wrong, they need
to They need to fess up tothat, own it and apologize. I
think it's fair. I face theface apology is fair? Is it?
Once people apologize? Do you takea beat to kind of work? Through
(01:36):
it, or you're like, Ican say if your apology, but I
need a minute. Okay. Sonow it depends on what it is.
It is something that really like mademe angry. Like when I feel that
anger, then I have to pullback for a little bit, okay,
(01:57):
And it's usually not that it's usuallyfor me, it's not that long because
I'm one of those that I letit roll off my back. I don't
hold on to a fence for toolong because I don't like the way holding
on to offenses makes me feel.I hate it, you know, because
I'm like angry and I have allthese thoughts going so I like to I
(02:19):
like to release it, like asquickly as possible. But there are times
where I have to say, okay, you know what, let me pull
back because it's really really hurt me, and so I need to, you
know, sit back and just sayokay. You know, I'll accept the
apology. You know, that's that'san automatic. But it's the emotions and
(02:42):
the feelings that I'm experiencing that Ihave to get under control. Yeah that
makes sense. Yeah, absolutely itdoes. Yeah, I think it does
take It does take time. Well, welcome everyone to another episode of Take
as Face podcast. I'm your host, Leah. I am here this week
with d Night. Hey Denise,how's it going. It's going good,
It's going good, it's going well. Thank you for asking how's it going
(03:06):
with you? Things are going,things are looking up. You know.
This is our second episode back andI am getting back into the groove of
things. So I'm doing good.I'm doing really good and am A couple
of times ago, I forget howlong it was an actual time we talked
about you developing a book, youconnecting with other women about their purpose,
(03:31):
and it really got me thinking abouthow do we help ourselves find what our
purpose is in life? Like doeseveryone have a purpose? Do I just
take a bunch of side quests oris there a main mission you know in
my life? And as you workwith these young ladies, and as I
hear your stories about how you're helpingthese women, I thought it'd be a
(03:53):
good time for us to have aconversation as early as we are in twenty
twenty four, to start figuring out, you know, what are we accomplishing
this year? What are we accomplishingin our lives? So we're just going
to talk a bit about today We'regoing to talk a bit today about developing
a plan for your purpose and youknow, identifying what your mission is in
(04:14):
life so that you know you're notfeeling like you're floating, but you're actually
connected and hopefully with community that helpsyou move toward that purpose. Yeah.
Yeah, So firstly, I wouldlike for you to explain what purpose is.
Okay, so purpose is having it'smore than a goal, but having
(04:45):
a having something to look towards,something that you need to, something that's
in your heart. That because I'ma Christian, so I'm going to say,
because what God has put you onthis planet to do, right,
He's given each and every person onthis or a purpose. It's something that
(05:06):
He has designed before even the foundationof the world, for each person to
do. And so our responsibility isto seek that out, is to seek
Him to give us that purpose.I've come to learn and find out that
when we don't have a purpose,we are we jump into stuff that we
(05:30):
don't need to be jumping into.I can agree, we're totally walking around
like I don't know what life isabout. I don't understand where I'm going
and what I'm doing. Should Ibe over here? Should I be over
there, should I be doing this? And when you have your purpose,
it hones in on Okay, thisis the steps I need to take to
get to that. This is whatbrings me joy, This is what brings
(05:53):
me passion. So now I canhone in and now I know what the
focus, so I know not tobe over here and over there and then
not doing this and then figuring outI got You know, you people experience
like I have so much on myplate. You know that's saying I have
so much on my plate. Well, it's because we have so much on
our plate. It's because we don'thave a purpose. We're all over the
place, so we take on thingsthat we're not created to do, we're
(06:18):
not assigned to do because we don'thave a purpose. So it's that thing
that we are called to do inour lives. Now, I believe purposes
can change. It's fluid. Soyou know, my assignment for this year
(06:42):
could be ABC and D. Youknow my assignment my purpose for this year,
and then throughout the year it mayshift to something else. But I
come to learn too that all yourdifferent purposes, I guess or assignments or
calling all twines into the same thing. Yeah. So my purpose is to
(07:05):
help women determine what their God givenpurposes so that they can live it out
within the Kingdom of God right nowon the earth. And once they we
determine that, then I help themwalk that out, live it out,
(07:25):
to help them to say, focus, and that's importance of consistency, goal
setting, you know, all thatto keep you keep your mind in a
place of where focused. Because ifyou don't have that, you really have
no. It's to me, youhave no life because you're just floating.
You have no You're in a jobthat you hate. Why because you don't
(07:48):
belong there. That's not your purpose. Well, I needed to make money,
Yeah, okay, do that.I wasted twenty five years I think
I could say twenty five years ormore in a job that I didn't want
to be in because there was somethingelse that I was called to do,
(08:09):
even though I didn't even know whatthat was. But I know I was
supposed to sit there twenty yeah,or let me say twenty eight yeah,
because that's when I finally retired fromthat job. God said, okay,
you can, oh goodness, goodblow, you can go ahead and do
you know do what I called you? To. So a lot of people
(08:31):
are in jobs and positions and placeswhere they're not happy because they are not
in line with their purpose and whatthey're called to do and what their passion
is. And so that's purpose forme. It's like your life. It's
a guide to this is what I'mcalled to do me on the earth.
(08:54):
And once you get that to thefilled I'm sorry, go ahead, yeah,
I said, once you determine thatyou become fulfilled, do you become
happy? Joyful? Like, yes, I'm doing what i feel like deep
down in my soul, I'm supposedto be. Point. I do want
to touch on the happiness part ofit, the happiness part of the journey
(09:15):
in just a moment. But asyou were talking, I'm thinking about because
right now I'm in school to getmy degree, and it has been one
of the toughest things that I haveactually had to do because I had to
commit to it, I had tobe disciplined in it, and I had
to do it consistently well, youknow, to finish, and so it
(09:41):
as you were talking about purpose.When I was busy, I felt like
I had to do fifteen different thingsevery single day to stay on top of
everything. But when I sat downand sort it through the stuff, just
the stuff of what was what Iwas doing from day to day, and
I took out all the stuff thathad nothing to do with work, nothing
(10:03):
to do with school, and nothingto do with it was work, school,
and whatever my outlet was at thetime, right, And so I
think it was working out. Ifit had nothing to do with those three
outside of church, then I wasnot going to commit to it. I
was not going to do it.I found that I had way more time
(10:26):
to rest, way more downtime,way more time for extra everything else when
I focused on those things, andI felt at peace. And I feel
like that that piece is something thatpeople don't realize that they need, and
so they chase happiness. Oh I'mnot happy in this job right now,
(10:50):
so maybe I should move on tosomething else or I need to feel happy.
And because I don't feel happy,I'm really depressed. And I don't
think we're suppose sposed to be happyall the time. I mean, school
does not make me super excited,but I'm at peace because I know it's
what I'm supposed to be doing atthis moment, Like this is the season
for me to be in school andfinish, and so I feel like sometimes
(11:16):
people chase that happiness or they chaseall the other things because their mom told
them they're supposed to do something,their dad told them, they're supposed to
be something, their job told them, they're supposed to be in this place,
or other people are telling them whatthey should be. Oh, I
could see you being this or Icould see being that, but they're not,
you know, looking to God tosay, Lord, where should I
be going? Right? What directionam I supposed to be in? And
(11:39):
even if things are hard, likeright now, there's a lot of things
that I'm going through at work atschool that are hard, but these hard
things are shaping and molding my characterto prepare me for whatever is coming in
the next season. Right, So, how how can people determine? You
(12:03):
know, after seeking God and theyhave their they have their purpose because we
know the first thing, see God, right, and they they sought them
out, they have their purpose.Now what Okay? So once you determine
what that is whatever? So forme, I'll use me as an example.
(12:26):
I recognize that what my purpose is, and it's really helping women moving
from A to B, finding whatthat A is and moving and looping forward
in that. It's not easy,right, but when I look at it
and I determine, like in myheart, this is what I know,
(12:46):
this is what I'm supposed to dobecause it does make me joyful. It
makes me happy, even in thetimes where so much work, you know,
because I gotta go to school,right, I have to study,
I have to I have to getout there to meet people because I'm an
(13:07):
introvert. Right, So I'm anextrovert when I have to be. And
the majority of time I don't wantto be an extrovert, but I have.
But I'm an introvert. So nowI got to get out of my
comfort zone and go out and touchthese people, you know, to to
in order to get clients, tobe able to help help people. So
in those times, yeah, Ifeel like I don't want to do this.
(13:30):
I don't feel happy, I feelsad, I feel depressed, I
don't feel joy in doing it.But once I remain focused on why I'm
doing it, then it says,okay, I can do. When I
can handle these things right, youalso can get it like an accountability partner
to help you walk through that andremind you because sometimes when you're going through
(13:52):
something. Whenever you're going through something, it's like this, I just don't
want to do it. It's justtoo hard. Sometimes you need somebody because
you mentioned community, you know,you need somebody to push you, to
help push you like you can dothis. You can do this. Remember
why you're doing it. So thenext step is once you find that out,
(14:18):
then you need to find out,Okay, how what steps do I
need to take to walk in this? Do I have to go to school?
Do I have to get a degree? Oh? Yeah, you're gonna
have to do that. When youthink about your purpose, how does it
make you feel? Do you feeljoyful? Do you feel happy when you
even just sit and think about it? Just the purpose, not the steps
(14:39):
you gotta do to get there,but just right because the steps is going
to be like oh I don't wantto you know, but you got to
remember why you're doing it. Whatis that purpose? And how does that
purpose make you feel? So whenyou come up to those times where you
have to go to school and getyour degree and you have to take this
particular job to even funded, youcan remember like, well, this is
(15:01):
why I'm doin it, and justmeditate on that take some time to meditate
on that so that you can remainfocused in what you need to do.
And so like when you when yousaid that you focusing on three different things
and anything that comes in that's notpart of that, something else you gotta
(15:24):
do. It's hard, It ishard. I want to go. I
want to I want to go outto eat with you all. I want
to go do this. And it'slike, but is your homework done?
Are your projects finished? What deadlinesare you are coming up? Right?
Now? Right? And if youcan't commit to yourself, If you can't
(15:48):
if you understand what your purpose is, you've got confirmation. God told you
what it is, and you chooseto not commit to that. Like you
said, God will let you float. You have freedom of choice, right,
we have free will. We canfloat and and be doing whatever.
(16:11):
Mm hmm. But when we walkin our purpose, it's important to stay
committed. There's not going to bea time when we're able to do everything
one hundred percent well because we're human. But like you said, having community,
Like my sisters will call me,hey, did you get your paper
done? But they'll also be excitedwhen I say, hey, I got
my paperback, I got a that'sright, let's go out and get Now
(16:33):
we can go out and now wecan now we have some Yeah. Oh
yeah, I'm big. I'm bigon I learned to be big on that.
So it's like, okay, soif I finished this project right here,
I'm going to treat myself to boomwhatever it is. Me. It
was a set of earrings that I'vewanted for so long, and I finished
the project. It helped me.It helped me stay focused, and I
(16:56):
was able to get it done.I said, now, you know,
and then I rejoice in that,you know, and it makes me happy,
right And it's some people it's notthings that makes him happy. Maybe
it could be whatever, spending timewith family, Like Okay, if I
finish this, I'm gonna call mygirlfriend and we're gonna go have drinks,
you know, or whatever that mayyou know, whatever that may be,
(17:19):
to reward yourself in getting the jobdone, you know, because sometimes we
get the job done and then letme pick up the next thing out,
let me pick up the next thing, and then we start to burn out
and realize, hey, you know, no, we need to we need
to say it's okay, that it'sdone. And I think about when I
(17:40):
think about standing before God one day, I want him to say well done,
good and faithful servant. So ifI'm doing my project and I get
that project done, i know He'slike, yes, let's go to the
next step. Good job, Let'slet's go to the next step, you
know. So yeah, I mean, I think community is one of the
most in one of the most importantthings because we can't do our purpose is
(18:03):
not for us anyway, right.Whatever God calls us to give, God
calls us to do is to dofor others. It's not all about me.
And I think also when we dothings for others, it just things.
I don't know, it just andyou see that person smile on their
face, you know, or they'reoperating in what they're supposed to be doing,
(18:26):
whatever it is. It could beif God is calling you to be
a graphic artist or something graphics,you know, helping people that website.
You know, how does that makeyou feel when they say, oh,
this is my friends love it.You know, it's like that, hey,
you know, it brings that Itmakes me happy to see others happy.
(18:48):
Right, So, and our purposeshould be in line with doing for
other people because as we do forthe more we do for others, we
do we automatically doing for ourselves.Well we're not, you know, living
on an island or anything like that. So yeah, I think it's I
think community is important, Consistency,of course, commitment definitely, are any
(19:11):
of those easy. No, No, we're still human. We're still human.
We're and God has not called us, you know, to be perfect.
Mm hm. He called us tobe perfect in how he has created
(19:33):
us, how He's created me.So there's things that I cannot do,
the things that I'm not capable ofdoing, and there's some things that I
just don't want to do. Butthat's how I'm made up, right,
So I'm going to be perfect inwhat God has created me to be and
what He's created me to do,and just live by his grace when I
just don't do it. That's Ithink that people should give themselves more grace
(20:03):
because there are things and because Iwas for a long time I was like
I don't know what I'm not surewhat I'm supposed to be doing or where
I'm supposed to be going or anythinglike that. But I knew like five
years before I start asking those questionswhat I was supposed to be doing.
Like God told me almost like overten years ago, that I was supposed
(20:26):
to finish school and when I finishschool, I'll be ready for the next
thing. But I did not wantto finish school. And now you talk
about twenty eight years, I'm liketen years. Like I didn't waste ten
years. I've learned a lot,but further should I should I have listened
in the beginning. But He's stillgiving me the grace to have the community
(20:48):
to understand what I because I feellike God just like there's a margin of
error. He makes room for oursilliness, our stupidity, our unwillingness to
it here to what he's saying,our whatever, whatever you want to call
it, our stubbornness, there's there'sa margin of error for it. Right.
He's not surprised at Oh, it'syou're you're not on time. You
(21:12):
you waste it all this time.And so I feel like God still gives
us that grace to say, Okay, I know you're gonna need some time,
but I'm telling you what it isnow, so you can't say that
you didn't know. And when you'reready, I'll still be here. Don't
wait too long and as I'm nowgoing through it, I'm finding the community.
(21:32):
As as each step that I takegoing through the process to get get
through to the purpose, people arecoming alongside of me in community. There's
I'm having better commitment and I'm willingto give myself. Part of the commitment
is making sure that my tools aresharpened. And that may come through relaxation.
(21:53):
That may come through for the otherstanding, further education. It may
come through connection with other people,because you know, iron sharp and iron
and maybe I need to be connectedwith people. It may come through challenges
where God is like, oh,you don't know how to do this,
so let me put this in frontof you so you can figure out and
get that get that strength up inthat area. And so it has definitely
(22:18):
been a process, but I trulybelieve that when when you do walk in
purpose, you get the benefit ofcommunity, You get the benefit of understanding
the importance of discipline and commitment.You get the benefit of understanding and maintaining
consistency. And consistency doesn't mean thatyou have to do something every single day.
(22:41):
You just have to be consistent,even if you're doing it once a
week, even if you're doing threetimes a week one month, Like you
have to be consistent in what you'redoing, showing him yourself. I think
that was a big thing because Ifelt that I wasn't I didn't respect myself
enough to be committed. I knewI needed to do it, but I'll
(23:03):
get to it. But once Istarted like, no, I've earned this
respect, Like I need to showup for myself. Yep. I need
to show people how to treat me. I need to show people that I'm
about my business so that when eventsdo come up or think or you know,
people do come into my life thatdon't align with where I'm going,
they're either going to pull me tothe side or pull me back. And
(23:26):
if I allow that to happen,I don't know how much longer I'll be
off course. Yeah, yeah,And sometimes we sometimes we do that,
right, Like sometimes we just becausewe feel like there's something missing. You
know, I'm on my road,I'm doing my thing, I'm doing my
(23:48):
thing, and then I you know, because sometimes you can start feeling lonely,
like you know, this is likeI feel like I'm doing this all
by myself, and you know,and then something comes up and then you
end up going over here, andthen and all of a sudden you're over
here, over here, over here, over here, and then your purpose
is over there, and then you'relike, what happened? How did I
get into this session? How didI get here? You know? Yeah?
(24:11):
And so that's why, Yeah,it's it's in an importance of remembering
what and why you were created forand to focus on that and know that
you're not missing. I'm trying toremember that saying that. Dave Ramsey says,
Oh, live like no one else, Live like no one else,
(24:32):
Live like no one else, sothat you can live like no one else.
So I was going, what theheck does that mean? He just
he just double said the same thing. But what he was saying was like,
like, when you're budgeting, right, while everybody's out there spending thousands
and thousands and millions and millions ofdollars, you're here saving, scrimping and
(24:52):
saving, you know, like you'resaving your pennies. You're not going out
not doing this, and your friendsare out there and they're doing all these
things. But as you're working onyour budget and you're putting money aside and
putting money aside, putting now you'refree now you're able to live like no
(25:15):
one else because now your friends arebroke. Your friends are broke, they
can't go nowhere, but you couldbe traveling and you could do all kinds
of, you know, all kindsof wonderful things because you are so focused
on being debt free, focused onsaving money, focused on making sure that
(25:37):
you're financially stable, versus out theredoing what everybody else is doing. So
it's like living like no one elsebecause no one else is budgeting like you,
no one else is saving like you. And then eventually you'll be with
those people who are you know,to have the money like and they're doing
their vacations and all of that,then you're able to do the same,
(25:59):
you know. So that's what Ithink like about purpose, Like you're working
your purpose, working all the thingsyou need to do so that you can
go out there and do what Godhas called you to do, and that
is by being consistent, by doingall the hard things, not being perfect,
and you're not going to be perfectin it, you know, but
striving to do that and just sayingfocus so that you can actually be all
(26:25):
that God has called you to beand do and be fulfilled because part of
your purpose is being fulfilled. Yeah, you know so, yeah, so
I think about I think about likeall of that work, I'm doing,
all the work that I have todo to be able to experience that joy,
(26:45):
that fulfillment, you know, thathappiness. It's going to be worth
it at the end because I'll beable to experience that. You said earlier
that we can have multiple purposes throughoutour lifeline. Throughout our lifetime, there
are multiple times where you fulfill aneed for a season, you fulfill a
(27:11):
need at a point in time,or you are working to fulfill a need
over the course of your lifetime.Right have you been in a place where
you have been able to fill aneed in a season and that was your
purpose? How did you feel whenit was accomplished? Oh? Girl,
Well, when I look back.One of the things that God has called
(27:38):
me to do, and I thinkthat everybody should do this because it helps
determine your purpose, is to lookback over your life and see if there's
any themes there. You know,is this something that reoccurred over and over.
Now it may not be exactly thesame, but it's a familiar like,
Hey, I did I did thatfor me? It was working with
(28:00):
teenagers. Okay, So when II was a like I said earlier,
I was an introvert. Like youknow, I was happy growing up when
I was in middle school and highschool. Go to school and come home
and sit in the house all day, eat stuff my face, watch TV.
No, that was my life.Oh no, I was comfortable without
(28:23):
knowing anybody. I was comfortable withjust that. But no, my mom
said, oh, heck no,we ain't doing this. So, uh,
there's this place called Henry Street Settlementthat was like right across the street
from where I lived. And sheI'm gonna say literally, but she dragged
me over there and she goes,look, my daughter needs to do something
(28:45):
because she's just not you know,she's just home. And so they had
this program called the Pioneers, whichwas similar to a It was so much
fun. It was similar to sorority, but it was it was co ed
for teenagers. So these gentlemen whowent to college came back to the neighborhood.
(29:08):
They were all Omega sci Fi decidedthat they were going to take some
of those things that they did inthere and train the people in the lower
income neighborhood. So we had towear so we had to wear a uniform,
we had to march in place liketogether in the streets, we did
(29:30):
stepping. It was just it wasa lot of fun. I'll show you
the picture one day. So afterI went through the program, I was
only fifteen. When I was sixteen, they asked me to be a co
leader to other teenagers. I haveto teach them only like two years a
(29:52):
year older than them. Then thefollowing year after that, I was graduating
high school. It was my lastyear I became a leader. So that
was that was that. So Ileft, I went to college, didn't
new college, got kicked out,and I sometimes I wonder if my mother
regrets it because that's where when Iwas at Henry Street, although I did
(30:15):
all that stuff, that's where Ilearned to smoke, drink, hang out
all hours of the night. Butanyway, so after that, several years
passed, I gave my life toChrist and then I started working with teens
again. Why am I working withteens again in the church. So it
(30:36):
was just like this whole thing aboutand it was like leadership. It was
always leadership, leadership, young people, leadership, young people. So I
felt like, okay, so mypurpose is to foreign to young people,
which I love. That is myheart and you know, Lea, that's
my thing. So I led.I came to Charlot and I led a
(31:02):
Bible study in my home for teenagerson Friday nights in the neighborhood. I
did that for several years. ThenI went to Elevation. I did it
again. I had a group ofgirls and I went with them through middle
school all the way till they graduatedhigh school and most of them are in
college. So now it's being shiftedfrom teenage girls to women. Okay,
(31:33):
so right now that's what my purposeis. So looking back on my life,
I'm looking I looked back on whatwas the pattern. The pattern was
teenager and the pattern was leadership.Throughout my life. I didn't mention my
college. It was all leader myjobs, the jobs that I had,
they always called me to. Neverwent to go and ask for a promotion.
(31:55):
Supervisor tapped me on the shoulder,Denise, would you be interested in
being a s would be interested withwhat? So I noticed that its leadership
and the leadership it was always helpingpeople go from one step to the next.
Hence, now I'm a coach becausefirst I thought I was going to
(32:19):
be a biblical counselor and went toschool and it was like getting my master's
and getting license. It was justnot for me. Being a counselor didn't
move people to move forward. Itwas more dealing with their emotions and their
(32:43):
psychological issues versus taking the person who'swhole or even have some kind of limiting
beliefs, because limiting beliefs can stopus from moving forward. At least when
you get over that as limiting beliefs, you can move forward, but not
not more the psychological problem. Isaid, that's not that's not my calling.
(33:05):
My calling. My purpose is tomove somebody from A to B.
So it did change from teenagers toadults, which I never wanted to do
adults, so but anyway, Ihad something else in mind. So yeah,
So the although the theme is stillthe same, but it's a different
(33:30):
it's a different demographic. Now,it's a different you know. So now
I have to learn about the adultissues because I did a lot with I
got my bachelor's degree in youth ministryand psychology. So now it's really focusing
on adult women single adult women now, so that's one of the things that
(33:52):
looking back on your life to determinethat, and then there be there will
be a time where that changed.So even like in my jobs, all
those leadership positions in the corporate world, I guess then that's what my purpose
was, to be a leader,but that also changed, like, well,
(34:14):
not into the corporate world anymore,and now it's more into entrepreneurship.
So our purposes, yeah, cancan change. And sometimes looking back over
your life to determine and also todetermine am I moving in the right direction?
So yeah, did that answer yourquestion? It did? It did,
(34:38):
and I think it gave people encouragementto know that as you are fulfilling
your purpose, as you are living, you know, in your life,
you can look at what you've doneempirically to say, okay, well this
is the golden thread through everything.And these are times where I felt accomplished,
(34:59):
where I felt empowered, where Ifelt like I can take on the
world, and where I can feellike, you know, I've got this
and things like that not operating youknow, in your own power strength,
but what God is giving you inyour gift to give the world. And
I feel like just that kind ofreminder it gives people the confidence to say,
(35:22):
Okay, I'm going to pursue this. Now we have both said the
process is work. It is work. It's not going to be laughs and
giggles all the time, but itis absolutely worth it when you hit that
finish line, or when you noteven when you hit the finish line,
but when you're operating in that purpose, when you were actually doing the thing,
(35:45):
and even when you're doing the thingand it feels like work, you're
still grateful for the space that you'rein of actually doing the thing. I
know I can speak for myself andsay that, and Denise, you've said
it a couple different ways, andI think it's great that they can have
these examples to say, Okay,which direction am I choosing to go?
(36:05):
Am I choosing to follow what Godhas told me? Or am I going
to keep kind of doing my ownthing until I'm ready to go? And
So I hope that you make theright choice. I hope that you continue
to do things that's going to helpyou grow, help you move forward,
help you keep seeking God, andhelp you have community where you can take
up space where you can honor yourselfand honor with the gifts that God has
(36:27):
given you. By serving the peoplethat you are connected to. Thank you
so much for this conversation, Denise, it was very very very good.
Do you have this thing I wantto just yeah, because you're about to
ask me. Yeah, just onemore thing I wanted to to mention too.
Once you know your purpose and youknow it deep deep, deep deep
(36:50):
down that this is what you arecalled to do, be careful of the
voices you listen to because there couldbe some people that say, well,
sure or maybe not. And youknow, I don't think you're gifted in
that be no, you shouldn't bedoing. Be careful on who the voice
is that you're you're listening to listento that inner voice because it's the Holy
(37:13):
Spirit directing you to say, thisis what I'm calling you to. I
don't care what anybody says, becausethe enemy would love for us to get
sidetracked. Yes, to move usover here, but we should be here.
So just be careful about Because wedid talk about community, be careful
and watchful of the community that you'rein. Make sure those that community that
(37:37):
you're in or even if you docoaching, that that person O those people
are going to push you forward intoyour calling right and also be honest with
you as well, and not sugarcoatstuff, but to be very honest with
you and that they're going to pushand make sure that you know you are
operating in what God calls you to. The thing to get to know what
(38:00):
your spiritual gifts are, because yourspiritual gifts are going to help you in
your purpose. Know your strengths andyour weaknesses. Don't focus on the weaknesses.
Focus on your strengths. So it'sbecause we focus on our weakness,
and when we focus on our weakness, we don't do anything. I can't
do it because I can't do it. Ah, you know, no,
(38:23):
focus on your strength. And ifthere's a weakness that God has calling you
to turn into a strength, thendo that. But your main focus is
really one watch the community that you'rein and know what your spiritual gifts are.
Know what your strengths strengths are,Knows what gives you passion, what
(38:44):
makes makes your heart you know,joyful, even what makes your heart sad,
like what makes you really really sad, Because once you determine what you're
really sad about, then that meansthere's a need and maybe God is calling
you to fulfill that need. Soyeah, I just wanted to share a
(39:06):
couple of those things. So thankyou very much. Do you have anything
that you would like to plug anywherethat people can follow you, any products
and services that they can partake in. Yeah? Sure, I you can
find me on Loving Action, kingdomcoachdot com. That's my website. And
on my website it has all theinformation that you'll need. It has my
(39:29):
Facebook, Twitter, Facebook Twitter,what do else? I have Instagram accounts,
my email address, my phone number, anything that you need. Also,
it has the different packages that Ioffer in there, so you can
see that you can reach out tome if you're not sure. I do
(39:50):
free consultations half an hour confro concconsultations to know exactly if I'm the one
for you, all right, becausethat's one and you gotta make sure that
the if you do coaching or evencounseling that matter, make sure that you
click with the person, all right. So yeah, so you can find
(40:12):
find me on those Okay, great, great, thank you so much.
I really appreciate you. Please makesure that you follow the niece. You
check her out, follow her onall her social media. Please make sure
that you also follow take us facePod, Take us as pod on Facebook,
Instagram, and Twitter which is nowX but I'm still gonna call it
Twitter. And I hope that youall have a wonderful day. Please let
(40:34):
us know in the comments any questionsthat you may have, because I feel
like this episode is going to needa part two. All right, everyone,
have a great one for it.Bye bye.
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