September 23, 2022 • 61 mins
#championsofdiscourse #takeupspacepod #podcast
Which show did you enjoy watching?
00:00 Intro
10:40 Good Times or Cosby Show
30:00 Have you no shame?
Be sure to follow Jason!
https://www.instagram.com/jj_newberry/
https://vsco.co/jjnewberry/gallery
https://twitter.com/JJ_Newberry
https://www.tiktok.com/@jj_newberry
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/take-up-space-podcast--5182502/support.
Which show did you enjoy watching?
00:00 Intro
10:40 Good Times or Cosby Show
30:00 Have you no shame?
Be sure to follow Jason!
https://www.instagram.com/jj_newberry/
https://vsco.co/jjnewberry/gallery
https://twitter.com/JJ_Newberry
https://www.tiktok.com/@jj_newberry
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/take-up-space-podcast--5182502/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
I'm not attacking you. I'm justasking do you know the difference between racking
and wrecking? Yeah, racking.Wrecking is like when you destroy something.
Racking is like when you Um,I always think of like racking your brain,
like going through stuff to try tofind something, like trying to remember
something or something like that. Tellme what's the difference. So wrecking was
(00:24):
correct, But racking also has todo with ruin. Um, did you
want me to read it? BecauseI can. I pulled it up to
read it a couple of hours ago. Do what you need to do this?
I was like, huh, Iwonder if I'm not gonna look at
(00:45):
you. Do what you need todo? Though, I wonder if Jason
knows the difference because in all ofhis logos origins, I don't know the
word for origins in Latin. Sothe word origins books, that's what That's
(01:06):
the word that I was looking for. Yep, that itself my word.
So um So I looked it upbecause I was I was curious as to
whether you say nerve wrecking or nerveracking, and if you rack or wreck
(01:30):
your brain or white people were usingthe W R or the R version of
what the differences were. So,um, racking means to utterly ruin.
Okay, Um, the nerve thereare nerve wrecking, not nerve sorry,
(01:57):
nerve racking not nerve wracking. Right, um, because people who say nerve
wrecking are incorrect, incorrect, theywould be doesn't even sound right, it
would be incorrect. Um, Idon't even sound right. So yes,
So to rack is to when you'rewhen something, when it's racking, Um,
(02:21):
it is causing utter ruin um orto wreck it um. To wreck,
to wreck something is to uh actually, let me see if this is
the same. This is so violent? Um. I really want to I
really want you to look at theetymology of wreck. So it is um
(02:46):
more it's it's closer to the destructionof a ship like shipwreck um, or
something especially a vehicle or a buildingthat has been badly damaged or destroyed.
Um. Racking is to utterly ruin, but it doesn't have that vessel attached
(03:07):
to it. Yeah. Okay,see I see interesting. Interesting. Yeah,
just then attack over. I justwanted to know if you knew like
the difference, because I was curiousas to why people would say rep instead
(03:28):
of rap and why they would spellit without the w You saw Logan right
the final Wolver movie. Okay,remember when Professor X would sort of go
into conniptions and just like start attackingeverybody. That's what this is like,
like those random psychic attacks. Yeah, it's like a random psychic attack that's
(03:50):
just completely unprovoked. You'll just sendthese words that call into question credibility.
First of all, I didn't askyou if you galvanize the group to push
them to create a utopian world um, which was one of the sentences that
I had put together in my draftsto send, But I didn't, so
(04:13):
that that doesn't phaze me. Actuallyknow what I was like because galvanized one
word. I was like, oh, I'm always I'm always I'm always liked
galvanized, but it's never come upas like a word of a word a
day, word of the day.So I was like my moment to Italian.
It was in my drafts for aminute, and then I was just
like, Nah, drafts are asafe place, you should leave it there.
(04:38):
Not all my sentences are going tostay in my drafts. Though I
know I've let you have your timeto readjust to be back at work.
That's even more of a threat.You said, I'll let you rest.
That was not a threat. I'mjust making this statement of fact that's worse
than a threat. Actually, that'slike when your mom tells you something then
(05:00):
and she's it's just not a threat. To at home is a guarantee,
it's a promise. Did my motherjust threatened me to be at home where
I have nowhere to go? ButI'm home. I gotta deal with Leah
just randomly. She's blindsiding me.It's not like I can ignore text messages
(05:20):
because she's in Seattle, and peoplerun through the streets of Seattle with Madelo
in their arms, So I haveto wonder is she giving did she see
the MODELO? Think again, Ican tell you okay, so okay,
I don't think we talked about iton this show. Two sets of armed
(05:40):
guards, so there were and thisman needs to chest I knee and yet
I mean out the door across thestreet, like grinning from ear to ear
because he has what is it oneor two cases of two case of Madelo.
Oh my is bliss and I that'sextremely happy in this guard and the
(06:06):
security guards come out after we crossedthe street and looking around like Oh,
I can't even be. I wasn'teven mad at the guy, not that
I would be mad anyway. Imean I want to be as happy as
he was in that moment. Hewas juiced. That was bliss. I
(06:28):
want to say last week I wasit was either last I think it was
last week. I am leaving withmy purse, my purchased goods and there,
and I have my earphones in becauseI don't like people talking to me.
Yeah, that's probably weren't even on. It's just dude, No,
I don't. I don't need asoundtrack every time because I need to be
(06:49):
aware of somebody's like coming up behindme. So um, So I'm walking
to the door. I see commotion. I see commotion. The guy I
has a carrier basket full of stuff, but he is at the entrance door,
not the exit where the self checkoutis. And so and there are
(07:12):
four four police or four security peoplestanding around and sorry, start off with
one plain closed person and one securityperson. And the plainclosed person apparently was
a supervisor or some sort, becausethey called him over and was like,
hey, where are you going?What are you doing? Apparently this man
(07:33):
tried to leave the store with allof these goods not paid for with the
carrier thing. And as I'm leaving, because he was like, I'll go
pay for this stuff, blah blahblah blah. And I don't know why
they let him walk away with hisitems. I feel like he's gonna try
to leave out of another door,of course, but they let him walk
(07:57):
away with all his stuff. Andthe security person, one of the security
people who had just come back,was just like, oh, I thought
he was trying to give the attentionto somebody outside to let him know that
they're done so he could come payfor it. Okay, he's in on
it. The security guard was inon it. How did you make that
leap? What do you do that? And then the other security guard security
(08:20):
guards, the security guard number twoand the security guard number three, was
just like, that's what I thought. Why why wouldn't a person us paying
come in with him? Right?He was like, oh, I thought
he was just leaning outside to getsomebody else's Is it me? Is it
(08:41):
us? And the superminds of personwas just like, no, thank you
so much for reporting that good eye, Like you have a good eye.
He was just like just doing myjob, sir, It's what I's what
I do, just doing my job. Nothing, you do nothing. I
was like, so, if thefirst security guard didn't say anything to him,
(09:01):
this man would have been high tailingit out of there with all of
his soul and good. Yeah heshould. He should have had somebody on
the other side of the door thathe could just pass it off to,
just just for their complete faith inwhatever pipe dreams that they had. I
(09:22):
wish that he had gotten away withit. I wish that he had the
bliss of Madelo. Man. Oh, that guy was so happy. He
was so happy, and he deservedit. I don't know why, but
he seemed like he deserved it.He was he was very and it's funny
because I didn't even see him onthird We didn't see him one third.
No, we went home after,No, we didn't see him again.
(09:43):
He just was gone in the windwith his Madelo And that's all I needed.
That was the day we went toum Baine Bridge Bridge. Yeah,
he would have called it Brisbane.Yeah, you should probably introduce the show.
We're ten minutes in. I meanI was going to, but I
(10:05):
was like, they know what theyclicked on? Hey, everybody, welcome
to another episode. To take aStace podcast. I am your Hostelia.
Thank you so much for tuning in. Yes, you've made it ten minutes
into the show, and if you'restill listening, we really appreciate it because
we like these kinds of interest andconversations. I don't know why Jason feels
attacked, but he's my co star, so he should feel very very welcome.
(10:28):
Welcome to the show, Jason.Sometimes you feel attacked when you go
to family member's houses. Hi,everybody's doing listen this year, this holiday
season, we are not doing that. We are not being attacked when we
come in the door. Would youjust fighting everybody you're tacking? No?
(10:48):
No, it is going to bepeace or I will leave violence. I'm
like, okay, yeah, that'sI mean that of the only options,
Like, no, is either gonnabe peace or I'm gonna go. You
didn't even there's a third option.What what do you mean I could just
walk away doing it wrong on theseyears? No? I I mean I've
(11:11):
never had a situation like all theseother people who are like, oh,
why do you have why do youhave that twos? Why do you have
three? Us Christmas gunfight? Really? For real? Really, come on,
No, gun fightslfit Eastern maybe maybea fish fight here or there,
but not with my immediate family andthe nuncle Sandwich. It's just like it
(11:35):
was. It was just something likemy family, like my immediate family,
we never did like if it was, we may get into it. Well,
why it is over super stuff?Why do you put the forks over
the are the fourth school over here? The fourth on goal over there?
The fourth School of beer? Likewe argue over stupent stuff. We don't
really yeah, we don't really wouldn'treally have problems like that. It's so
(11:56):
it's not like soul food. Nonobody, I don't even know. I
think we're just bound to stop talkingeach other before we ever start doing anything
like so who like, we don'thave drama like that. Like we are
a very like happy go lucky,almost Cosby esque family, which is which
is very interesting to me because whenI talk to people about familial experiences and
(12:22):
stuff like that, or even let'slet's not even take familiar experiences. When
I talk to people about like ifthey like watching the Cosby Show versus like
watching um jj um good times.I was gonna say, Earl, his
name is not Earl. His nameis James. No, oh, James
in Florida, right, Yes,okay, yeah, thank you because you
(12:45):
knew who I was talking about.So I so I never watched I mean,
I didn't watch that show like willingly. I've seen a couple of episodes
here and there, but that wasnever my show because that didn't resonate like
his my experien like why black peoplegot a struggle like that? Like I
know it happens, but that wasn'tmy experience. My experience is closer to
(13:07):
like the Cosmee Show. Show waslike a real a real family, at
least at least in my opinion.So when I cost people and they're just
like, oh my gosh, Ilove good times, and I'm just like,
why did you see why? Itwas just funny, wasn't it.
Yeah, all the episodes that Isaw were also depressing. That's really no,
(13:35):
I'm really joking about that part.No, It just I like that
time period, and my family didgrew up, not my immediate family,
but like my mom and stuff theygrew up in. They got so some
of the stuff that they would umthe Evans family experience, It wasn't to
that extreme. Yeah, it wasclearly an extreme Um, but just like
(13:58):
the band Turn stuff with the siblingsand stuff, it reminded me of just
like familiar type stuff. Yeah.Interesting, Yeah, I never I'll take
Cosby Show over over good times,and maybe I have to try to like
watch it again. But even aslike, I couldn't stand Bill Cosby even
(14:22):
as a kid. He annoyed mefor some reason, like the episodes where
he was the highlight I just didn'tlike. But like if like if he
was out of town or something orClaire was the highlight. Yeah, I'm
like, oh, this is good. They should write him off the show.
The show has gone on to bebetter without him. Yeah, it's
literally called the Cosby Show. AndI'm like, okay, let's just think
(14:45):
Felicia was shot him there, justgo with that. But yeah, I
like the Cosby Show growing up.I did. It just wasn't my favorite
show. Um. But between thatand like a Different World or something,
I would pick the Cosby Show anyday, Like I not like a different
World. Um. I can getinto it more now than I'm older,
probably because I live the college experienceand stuff and just being older. But
(15:09):
like as a little kid, Icould watch the Cosby Show because I could
resonate, like with Rudy and stuffand the kids, and just like how
harsh the parents were sometimes, likethe episode when they went to go see
Um that episode, Oh my god. Look. Growing up, I was
like, why is she so madat her? She's so mean to her.
(15:33):
Now when I watch it, Iwas like, no, she really
didn't go far enough with her.Listen. There were some points where I
was just like, my parents couldhave really really said some harsh things to
me, like watching that show orwatching that episode, and I'm just like,
because I mean, I wasn't.I wasn't always like on top of
(15:56):
my stuff, and so when Idid things like my parents could that,
I was like, oh my gosh, parents can go that far. Oh
my gosh. And if you goout of town, leave the state and
stuff, then I think you needto go that far with your kids personally.
Yeah, But when she had theaudacity to say I like my punishment
before I go, I was like, oh, yeah, that's one of
(16:18):
my favorite episodes of any show whereveron you have to go see the wretched,
Like, oh that episode and whenUm and when they tried to be
Diana Ross and the Supremes and theystuffed their bras that those two, I
was like, Vanessa, Vanessa,Vanessa. Between her and Sandra, I
(16:42):
was like, y'all need to NassandraDenise, y'all need to get it together.
Said she's gonna quit her jobs workingso working at the at the at
the camping store. I don't rememberenough of the show to remember which episode
(17:03):
that was, so she so literallyis when her and Elvin got together and
she's like her prestigious job and hegot he got him a steth an engraved
stethoscope because he was gonna be adoctor. She was going to be a
lawyer, and they had both gottenthe gifts for those careers. And then
they came and said, we're actuallyopening a wilderness store. And I was
(17:26):
like, imagine telling your parents thatthey spent all this money for you to
be educated, for you to belike actually talked was Soundra's husband right?
I couldn't stand him. Um yeah. I was like, they tried to
introduce like an extremely misogynistic character andI think he kind of it didn't it
(17:52):
didn't backfire. I think that itkind of just fell flat in some parts
because he wasn't just like but nowthat I'm older, like when I was
younger, I was like, peopledon't really think. No, people absolutely
think worse than this, and Ifeel like he was he only like attempted
to open the obol up with that, and so it's just it's really interesting
(18:14):
that a person who is as independentas Saunder would be with someone who's like
that. Yeah, so that's whyI was just like, huh, but
yeah, but I do like butmost of the family shows I do.
I do like that one and ProudFamily, but it's like I can watch
like the other shows like So Foodand the talk about the show. Um,
(18:40):
I've seen So Food the show theone time, and then I fell
off, Yeah, because it gotit went from so weird. Yeah.
It was like like I remember myparents like telling me, you know,
my dad He was like so andI don't know what season it was,
(19:03):
but it turned very adult and hewas just like, he has too much
sex going on. You can't watchany more movie, should be watching this
anymore? Yeah, he was justlike, yeah, it's too much sex.
It's like they found out like,oh, wait where else showtime?
Right, And then it was likeseason season two or three or something like
that. They were into the showand they were just like, everybody have
(19:26):
sex. Everybody, everybody have sex, everybody have problems with sex. Let's
focus on the bedroom and wherever else. And I'm just like, how did
we get did this have to happen? I was like, okay, but
yeah, big mom in your arm, Um, whenever I go into a
(19:52):
coffee fit, I know this ishorrible. Whenever me or during going to
a coffing fit, or anybody aroundthis goes into a coffing fit, we
start say, big momma, don'tdo it. No, you have to
get the family, you have togo, you have to get this.
Oh my god, that movie isdepressing. It is, and it's like
(20:15):
how And the crazy thing is,until I saw Boondocks, I never thought
about it from the perspective that UmAaron mcgrutter did, of like, Okay,
this lady just died eating all thisall this food, the way she's
eating, living the way she's living, and we're coming together to honor her
by doing the same thing that she'sdoing by having the child to get everybody
(20:38):
together under the guys of taking everybody. And then they took Uncle Pete's money.
That was Uncle Pete's money. Idon't know it was I thought it
was Uncle Joe. No, theMama's Joe. The Mama's Joe. Yeah.
(21:00):
Yes, we are so far offtopic, off any kind of topic
of what we talked about. Topicwould have never known, um anything.
We could have absolutely just veered rightinto the topic. But I don't know
how to say the quiet things loud. Yeah, sometimes that makes for the
(21:21):
best segways. I don't. Idon't think that's the case. You know
what's crazy? Sorry, I justcut you off. Um, just me
saying segue just reminded me of thefact that the person who invented segue died
in a segue accident, like hedrove it over a cliff. See,
(21:41):
if we were on topic, wewouldn't even talk about segway. But why
would he go over a cliff?Like he knew the cliff was there?
I'm a settlement. Is that anurban legend? Let me see? Maybe
I got urban legend Segway inventor dead? See they know what I want to
search for. Yeah, he diedfrom injuries apparently sustained falling from a cliff
(22:03):
while writing his own product. Whywould you be writing a motorized unicycle as
unstable as remember it has two wheelscliff, but some of them, some
of them only have one. Thewheels face the wrong way for me to
be near a cliff on that thing, right, there's no reason to be
(22:26):
not on your own feet when youare not on the ground at sea level.
There's no reason why they should havea picture with the trajectory of his
fall. That's sick. That poorman. I don't like this episode.
(22:48):
He was trying to do the Worldof Favor. He was just trying to
get his mobile. He was tryingto the World of favor. Have you
ever have you as an adult rollerstated? I tried. I tried,
Lord, I tried. Um,I need to I have six to five.
(23:15):
It didn't work out. You know, like when a baby draft tries
to stand up and your leg goout like this, That's exactly how it
looks when I tried to be fair, I've only tried to roller blade because
my stepmon bought us roller blade.When you're for Christmas, like a long
time ago, like when we're inhigh school. They sat in the garage
(23:36):
because it was like we tried toride him in the backyard just to try
it, and it was just alwaysum. It's because in that case I
couldn't even stand on that floating dock. Remember that is true, but that
was because of the gravity. Yeah, the floating of the center of gravity
(23:56):
is just too high for me,honestly, to be completely honest, some
days I have trouble even standing up, Like my balance is that bad sometimes.
Um fiber miles er Um didn't havefiber miles as a teenager though.
That's just poor course strength, poorcore stability. Literally, when I asked
(24:19):
you if you ever ilustated, Ithought of the joke, what has what
has sixteen wheels that covered in spots? Giraffe? Yeah, that's exactly what
it looked like. If you canimagine a baby draft, or if you
can google a baby draft standing upfor the first time, that's how my
legs would blow out trying to standup. So it would get to the
(24:44):
point where I would just squat andjust submit myself to accept my faith on
the ground and just crawl on mybutt back to the little porch. And
it takes rollerblates off. I haveno shame about that, no shame.
(25:07):
I can ride a bike. I'mokay with that. A lot of people
can't ride bikes. Have you haven'tridden a bike recently, um, not
a few years. But it's justlike riding a bike, you walk yourself
right into that. I hope youfeel I hope I don't. I you
(25:30):
know, I feel like in aworld where people do what they want and
say the quiet things out loud,shame is something that is just can I
say that like a movie trailer?Yeah, in a world where people feel
no shame and they the quiet thingsout loud, if you get us on
(25:51):
topic, we wouldn't. You wouldn'thave to deal with the threat of me
leaning into this microphone. Literally wasworking my way into the topic. Yeah,
I'm saying all the quiet parts outloud. Anyway, I feel like
with so many people not having likeno shame in their game, and you
know, oh, I do this, I said out, I said I
(26:14):
did this. I slept with thatperson, I said this thing. I
did this thing. And it's like, ain't here You're you're proud of that,
Like the clip that's going around onKaye Westwind. They were like,
oh, did you even read thisbook? He was like, I haven't
read any book. I would ratherhave conversations because reading books is like eating
Brussels sprouts to me, and Iwas like, the hell are you talking?
(26:37):
What are you? What are you? What are you talking about?
But if Brussels sprouts are prepared wellroasted Brussels sprouts, absolutely absolutely, that
is to say, And we're notabout to get on the delicious train lead.
That's not where I was going withUM. That is to say,
(27:00):
if you find the right books andyou find the right strategies for how you
want to read, even if it'san audio book. For a long time
I resisted audio books. They're notfor me. I get why people enjoy
them, They're not for me.I don't retain the information as well.
If it's an audio book, Ijust for me. It's about UM.
(27:25):
Retaining information comes down to whether it'sinteresting. It doesn't matter how I get
the information is whether it engages me. So audio books for audio books that
can make it work for me ifI need to UM podcasts, movies,
documentaries, anything. Basically, aslong as the information gets into me and
I can it holds my attention,then I have a problem with it.
(27:45):
But I'm just like, I wantpeople to have more shame, and is
shame keeps people humble? Feel likeI feel like you're going against this feels
contrary to what the god the missionis of TUSP. I feel like I
(28:07):
feel like I can absolutely be humbled, because I think shame humbles you,
and it's okay to take up spaceand still be humbled. At the same
time, I'm not saying to comeup here in Peacock and act like your
stuff, don't think, act likeyou've never made a mistake before, act
like you own the world, likeyou can absolutely rule the world the piece
(28:29):
of the world that you have.But to come up here to act like
I have it all, I gotit all, you know, I'm getting
down the mud or whatever people aregoing downadays, I feel like it's some
people. Some people need to needto express how they got it out the
mud. No, my parents setme up very well, so I don't
have to get it out the mud, and I feel like it's I feel
(28:52):
like if people would do more tohave shame, we wouldn't be in a
situation where people like me who workreally hard to achieve the level of success
that I achieve, and when Ido receive the status or the role or
the title that I get, I'mquestioning whether I'm good enough for that.
(29:15):
Dear listener, dear listener, Mydearest listeners, thank you for having me
my guest. If I had knownthat she would turn this into a call
for shame, I would have kepttalking about good times and family shows.
It's not okay, let me sayit like this. It's not a call
(29:37):
for shame. It's not a callfor chance. You're literally calling for shame.
I mean, I'm saying that people, there's there's a level of humility.
However, you gotta get it likeit's sometimes it's not shamed. Sometimes
it's not shame. Sometimes it's somebodybigger and better coming to knock you down
a few picks. Okay, However, you need to get humility. Humility
(30:00):
is what's going to help you beprepared. There's a lot of boldness.
There's a lot of confidence. There'sa lot of um pride, so to
speak, um, a little bitof pride, Like it's more it's more
I think confidence and boldness that reallymay use step forward um to take up
the space that you want to takeup. But I think that when people
(30:21):
don't have any shame or any humilityor any um feeling of am I doing
the right thing? Like like amoral compass, so to speak, Um
they tend to do things like Idon't know how many articles I've read over
the weekend about um people who peoplehaving hired other people to show up for
(30:48):
their interviews and right lying and peoplehave lighted the light on their resume for
years. This is nothing new,honestly, Like, do what you need
to do if you feel they're goinganyway. But to hire somebody to come
in and interview for you, andthen to have the audacity to walk into
(31:11):
the place not being the person whointerviewed for that position, that's a different
kind of boldness that I feel.It's there's that seems unsafe. Yeah,
that's a safety thing to me too, Like that's well, most most interviews
(31:32):
are happening virtually, right, Like, yeah, they're happening virtually. Typically
you have to have your camera forit for them. I'm looking to see
if audacity is a word that Iwant to use. I love that word,
the audacity. No, I getwhere you're coming from. I think,
Um, yeah, willingness to takesurprisingly bold risks, Yeah, risks,
(31:57):
risks showing an impudent lack of respect. Impudent respect that means what like
without impudent without consequence, Right,impudent means not showing due respect for another
person. See, I'm thinking ofsomething. I'm thinking of impunity. I'm
(32:20):
impertinent unity. What was that?Something sounded like some base or something just
dropped. Maybe it was my neighborsagain, but I get where you're coming
from. I think, let's getthis boat back on track or this train
back on track. Um, it'sit's the people who who do show up
(32:42):
and take all these outrageous risks ofhiring other people to do their interviews or
showing up in spaces, and becausethey have the confidence or arrogance, not
even confidence, they have the arrogancejust like catch me if you can't to
act like they belong in that space. Like sometimes like it gets on my
(33:07):
nerves, But then there's a smallpiece of me that just like I wish
I had that kind of audacity alittle bit, you know, just this
is a little just a little,just a little, just a little smidgen,
not a lot, Just enough forthe rules that I've already prepared for,
for the rules that I'm already alreadyfor, that I can perform in
(33:30):
that I can outdo other people.Because sometimes it feels like sometimes a lot
of times it feels like when I'min these rules, I really bit my
tongue. Sometimes when I'm in theseroles, um, I feel like maybe
(33:52):
I don't know enough or maybe maybebecause it's like the more I learned,
the more questions I have. Andone of my managers before asking me to
quantify how much I know, they'relike, hey, you know, so
now that you've been in your rolefor a year, what would you say
your level of expertises? Do youfeel like you're at like a four,
at like an eight? Are youlike a ten out of ten? And
(34:15):
I was like, listen, I'mgonna answer it like this. I don't
know what I don't know, butI know enough to get the resources that
I need to get. Should ifI'm asked a question, so, because
I'm constantly learning, that is somethingthat I cannot quantify at this time.
(34:38):
And at first I thought that waslike kind of a cop out answer,
but then it made me feel comfortablebecause I know that I left myself open
to say that I know what Ineed to do to get my job done,
and I know a little bit morethan that, so that if I
(34:59):
need to collaborate with other people toget the job done, but I can't
say that, like I'm the goto person to like ask these questions.
And but if I just had alittle dim as the audacity of the people
to show up into spaces and justlike I'm the captain. Now it's like
you act like you belong here,but you have zero authority, you have
(35:22):
zero education, zero background, zeroeverything. And the people who come in
and just take over stuff and theymess it up and just leave. Knew
what he was doing. That's that'sone of the reasons why I feel so
bad for introverts, because I knowthat in a lot of spaces because my
(35:45):
because I because I speak with confidencea lot of times, like I feel
really bad for introverts who know morethan me, because I'll say part of
what they're thinking, but that theymay think of other things because they're in
a observation mode that you could say, but they just don't. And so
there are leadership positions that are offeredto me because I'm an extrovert as opposed
(36:08):
to the introvert who never speaks upbut has really good ideas or as or
who has made some really great observations, but because they don't see anything,
people don't really look at them aslike leadership material, and I think,
I don't know why. I thinkabout that a lot, like, but
I make sure as a leader nowI make sure I go around the room.
(36:35):
Hey, what are your thoughts.I want to hear what you're thinking.
What is it that you see becauseI could be wrong, I'm only
seeing it from my perspective. Showme something different, And I try to
bring that to my leadership meetings.I try to bring that to my team
meetings. I try to bring thatto different spaces so that everybody's voice can
(36:58):
have a say and if they choose, you know, and I'm like,
hey, if you can't think ofanything right now, please send me an
email. Please let me know,you know, if there are stuffing that
you think about that oh this wouldbe good, but blah blah. Yeah.
I used to not think of myselfas a leader until I started teaching,
because even like when I was inclass and stuff and like in group
(37:21):
projects those kinds of things, Iwould always be that person that would wait
until like the end to share mythoughts. But the more that I've taught,
tutored and just become confident with onebeing an introvert, like just being
sort of leaning into that and thatbeing in that observation mode all the time,
(37:44):
just like you how you bring itto your different meetings and stuff.
I bring that to all the meetingsthat I attend my tutoring sessions by teaching,
where I have to be very carefulnot to take over the conversations because
I do have like a lot ofreally good ideas and I know that I
am being seen in a leadership position, but I'm careful to constantly check in,
like maybe every ten minutes or so, like Okay, what do you
think? What should we do here? What should we do here? What
(38:06):
should we do here? And justconstantly asking. So I think that's um
something that I don't know if otherintroverts could learn from that or could pick
up on that. But I don'tknow if it's something that I just got
more comfortable with just with teaching,or if that's just my teaching style.
Where's that very collaborative style, Butum yeah. Part of it also probably
(38:27):
goes back to me being the middlechild and constantly feeling like I wasn't heard,
the technical middle child, constantly feelinglike I wasn't hurt. So I'm
like, Okay, I'm gonna makesure that everybody it's heard. Well.
I think that you also, I'mjoking about the middle child part by the
way, you were kind of like, well, not thrust it, because
(38:51):
that's not the right word to usethere, but because of the position that
you took on in education, yeah, and the point of view you shared,
especially being the literal minority in alot of the spaces that you're end
I think that you have had multipleopportunities, especially in the beginning. No,
(39:12):
sorry, not so much. Inthe beginning, you didn't have as
many opportunities. And I think wetalked about this maybe two one or two
years into your teaching, where youweren't given opportunities to speak up to say
this is not going to work forme, or this wouldn't work as a
whole, like on this. ButI think that by your second or thirty
(39:35):
year you've made it a point tospeak up in certain aspects, whether it
is replying to the emails, orsaying something in the meetings, or talking
with your department heads or whatever aboutwhat it is you see from your perspective,
so that they know that you're aperson who has something to say and
that you really it's really interesting tosee her, Like how when I'm thinking
(39:57):
back, I'm like, yeah,could you work. I have to remind
myself that you're in introverse sometimes becausedo you speak a lot more now than
you yeah, when you started.And I think that as a traverse.
If they take anything from this isthat, Um, there is a practiced
way, but literally, you justhave to speak up. You have to
do it. It's extremely uncomfortable.I'm not even gonna lie. It goes
(40:22):
somewhat against my um nature, likejust what I feel in my core to
like my if I have my way, I would not talk. I'm not
even lying, not even joking.I would just be in silence most of
the time, not even kidding.Like when my brother's not here, I
turn off the TV in the livingroom, I turn off the music in
(40:42):
my room, and I'm literally justin here working silent, like maybe seventy
five percent of the time, becausethat's when I can, like I hear
common stuff some when I'm around people. It's distracting for me. Um,
but I know that there's value ininteracting with people. I know that I
get that, like if it makesme feel good to interact with people,
So there is a practiced way whereyou can interact with certain people, even
(41:06):
if it's just like your massage therapistor whatever, however often you go to
see them. That can be practicedjust to get comfortable with interfacing with somebody,
then branching out going to visit yourfriend in Seattle and talking to the
street hustlers and stuff on accident anddoing that kind of stuff. But there's
a way to just sort of I'mnot saying that there's a right or wrong
(41:28):
way to do it, because Ican't tell you how to socialize, but
there's a specific way that you canfind for yourself to become more comfortable with
interfacing with people so that you don'tfeel like if you feel this way,
it's so that you don't feel undervaluedor don't you don't feel unheard. If
you're okay with being quiet and stuff, that's fine too. But if you
(41:51):
do feel like you're not being heard, if you feel like you're not being
your perspectives aren't being shared, thenthere is a way that you can even
share your ideas with other people sothat they can sort of be like a
proxy for you, or sharing yourideas by writing them out and slipping into
somebody, just so you can getcomfortable sharing those ideas with people. That's
(42:13):
what I would do, Like whenI was in when I first started teaching
and stuff, I would just sitin our TA meetings. When I was
a graduate assistant, I would sitin our meetings and not really say anything.
Me and my friend would only theonly other black person who was in
my program. We would sit andwe would make our shift our eyes at
each other. We would sight outeach other and stuff and just share our
(42:35):
comments afterwards. And so I wouldshare my comments with her, and then
at the next meeting, she wouldshare my comments with the group, even
though they were sort of presented aslike, well, some people feel like
this, and so people I wouldsee people that would agree with my perspectives,
and so that made me feel moreconfident. And so that can be
something. Just have that proxy thatspeaks up for you and then built that
confidence and then you rip the maskoff me like it was me all along.
(43:00):
Me. That was my idea.So I say that to say,
yeah, I grew up around alot of introvert or extroverted people. Um,
so I saw how to be extroverted. So I kind of lean on
what they did to build my extrovertedpersona as an introvert, if that makes
(43:20):
sense. So you're part of mypersona by the way, Happy to be
here. But yeah, there's there'svalue in sharing your perspectives and finding some
way to share your perspectives. Mbecause if you're thinking it, somebody else
is probably thinking it too, andprobably ten more people are thinking it,
(43:42):
and ten more people want to speakup. Um, but they're probably just
as nervous as you. And ifyou just drop that one sentence, then
you'll probably start a conversation that youor discussion that you would not have even
expected. Yeah, there's one ofthe things that that you said about speaking
(44:02):
up because it is from like yourperspective and you need your voice to be
heard. It's not because I'm tryingto find a nice way to say it.
You're not speaking up because you thinkthat they care about you. Right.
You're not speaking up because you thinkthat you're trying to change your minds
(44:25):
or anything, right, right,You're you're literally speaking up to protect your
own interests. So if there's apolicy that's put in place, for example,
one thing that I know a lotof parents have to deal with when
they take when they say, youknow, no phones on the floor,
(44:45):
and it's like, my kids aregoing home to an empty house and I
need to make sure that their home, or my father is ill, or
you know, my kids are witha care giver, or whatever the case
may be. And they speak upa lot about like I have to have
my phone. And while everybody onthe floor may not be parents, they're
(45:09):
speaking up to protect their own interests. Right. So, whether you are
a woman, whether you are blackor Asian, or whether if you have
you know, if you're a neurodivergent, or if you are have some other
you know, different ability, andyou need to make sure that your interests
(45:30):
are protected. You have to learnhow to how to speak up. And
it's not a thing, like Jasonsaid, it's not going to happen overnight.
It's something that is legitimately practiced.You have to practice sticking up for
yourself, whether that is you know, telling the person to hold the door
open because you're because you know,you have to get things through, or
(45:51):
one of the things that I liketo do. One of the things that
I like to do to remind myselflike I have a voice, especially if
people are crowding, because should walkthrough Pipe Place market, people want to
stop it. Oh my gosh,I'm like, this place closed in three
minutes. I need to get there. Yes, I'm running behind, but
you guys need to get out ofmy way. So I experience because I
don't experience crowds like that. Iwas thinking about that when we were in
(46:15):
Pike Place, not to get youron topic, I was thinking about that
when we were there, and howI could see everything. Yees, you're
like on top of everyone and Iam in the think of everyone everything,
and so like when I would crouchdown and I would see like, oh,
it's literally like a wall is infront of you. Like everything that's
I can't see in front. Yeah, so I literally have to drop my
(46:37):
boys and make everybody in like becausepeople won't move. So I'll just like
I'll drop my wood excuse me,like and make people just like, oh,
let me just step out the way. I'm like, just get out
the way so I can, likeI forget that, Like I forget about
how much physicality plays a role injust interacting with the world. Even when
we're like at Disneyland with my nieceand stuff. Um, she's very short,
(47:00):
you know that. Tina is likeextremely short. But it's weird because
when people see me or my brother'swalking because we're so tall, it's like
they automatically cut a path, right, It's it's insane to me. But
I forget a lot about how justphysical space influence with so many different things.
But do go on. I'm sorry, I have improved my death glare
(47:22):
and not have such an agreeable face. So you have a tall so um
expression. Yeah, because when I'mwalking, if I'm walking and I'm just
like looking straight ahead and not makingeye contact with anyone, like people will
get out of my way because I'mgoing somewhere because they know they haven't it's
like very agreeable, just like heyyeah, if you're sight seeing with them,
(47:44):
then they won't move. Yeah yeah, And I'm just like get out
of my way, like move,move, moves you fly. But it's
something, it's something that's really practiced. And I was going to ask you
because there will be days where Idon't say anything, like especially if if
just don't call, if you don'tcall, if if other friends don't call,
and I'm just texting all day,Um, I'll forget what my voice
(48:07):
sounds like. Honestly, on dayslike that. I don't even like texting
people. It's literally I don't wantinteraction. You're like zero zero interaction would
be great, thank you? Yes, yeah, but wait, what was
your question? No? Do youforget? But do you forget like what
your voice is supposed to sounding,because especially if I'm on days like those,
(48:30):
I'm typically watching um, foreign filmsor like, uh yeah, pretty
much foreign films. It's always italways happens on that day, like I
end up watching like British heavy orNotllywood films or Bollywood films or whatever,
and my voice won't be my voiceand I have to like practice talking again
(48:52):
to get back to what my mybaseline voice sounds like. This is like
when you started talking in an Irishaccent for that one week, I wish
I was lying No, I don'tknow the topic back answering the question,
(49:16):
no, but um, Honestly,even on days like if if I'm going
to day where I'm not really talkingand stuff, I don't forget what I
sound like because if I'm watching something, I talk to it. It's it's
just a matter of I don't wantto talk to people, so I'll talk
to myself even when I'm working andstuff. If it's dead silent um or
(49:37):
when I'm writing or something, he'sdead silent as I'm typing, I'm talking
to myself, or I'm reading stuffback or um I'm reading a sentence so
that I can hear the rhythm ofit and stuff. But for me,
it's more so interacting with people andhaving even having control over the sound in
my space is a big part ofstuff. Like if Jordan has a TV
(50:00):
on and it's loud, then thatdisturbs me. But if I have the
TV on it's loud, and it'sa difference. No, because I wanted
that for myself for nothing A getsanybody else. Yeah, it's just a
matter of your own interests in thatmoment. This is what I need in
my space. Um So, yeah, I don't necessarily forget what I sound
(50:22):
like. Um No, sorry,I don't adopts. First of all,
remember when you moved to I thinkit was when you moved to Virginia and
you started talking no Texas is whenthe um I picked up an accent every
time I moved. Yeah, andhe got thicker every time you moved.
(50:45):
And I just know that Jordan justhad such a problem with that he did.
He point he pointed it out everyand I was like, listen,
I don't know what my voice soundslike now because I've been away from California
for you need to come back,you need to come hasn't been it's been
almost ten years, it has.Yeah. So some of my words are
(51:06):
very Eastern. Some of my wordsare very Southern. She has a worldwide
accent. Oh I wish, Iwish, I wish I sounded like I
was from nowhere. Can you imagineif you had the trans Atlantic accent,
you know that accent right now,like the old Carl Gable one when everyone
talked like this all the time.Oh, that nineteen nineteen twenties accent.
(51:30):
Yeah, oh gosh, it's transcent. I feel like I would. I
would prefer the news anchor, theAmerican news anchor out acce opposed to that.
I don't think I would want totalk very old timing because it takes
a lot of energy to talk likethat. Yeah, to keep your keep
(51:52):
the same energy and the same broaduct. Yes see, I wouldn't be able
to stay around too many people talkinglike that. But but if I talked
with my diet for him to talkabout broadcast voice. Oh, I wouldn't
be able to whistle. No,you can't whistle when you talk. Oh
god, I don't know why thatbugs me. But it's the whisp.
(52:19):
Yes, the whistle when people talk, and they and then they constantly do
it. I'm like, it's likea deliberate, complete anti lisp. Like
it's like, I'm not gonna havea lisp, So I'm gonna go to
the next extreme where it's just everythingis super I hate superesses. Why why
are we no? No? Becauseno, you know why. It's not
(52:45):
my fault. I'll say that.I'll say it's not my fault. Yes,
it is the space that I createdand I and I just I just
want to say this is this isa this is a section of the show
where we are going to be justhaving a little bit of gratitude. We're
just going to are We're having alittle bit of gratitude. And one thing
(53:07):
that I am grateful for is thesoft life that I'm creating. It's not
just soft life just for like thehashtag soft life, but it's the freedom
that I have in my life tosay, do, think and feel how
I want to be and just existin that space. Without asking for validation
or permission from anyone. And I'mgrateful that the people who I have invited
(53:31):
into my space honor that whether theyknow it or not. And sometimes it's
like just who they are, soit's not a thing where they have to
intentionally remember not to step on myboundaries. But I'm like, I am
grateful that the people who get toexperience this part of my life with me
are very encouraging and it's just createdsuch a peaceful place where I feel I
(54:00):
am achieving way more because I canreturn to this space at any given time
with the various people who I haveinvited into this intimate space with me,
so that I can achieve even more. So I'm really really grateful to be
able to have that space, wasn'tit? What is something that you're grateful
(54:20):
for? For the record, Iwasn't invited into this space. I'm a
squatter, so I just space foralmost thirteen years years thirteen years. It's
been yeah, almost fourteen almost semesterthat we met, fall semester two thousand
and eight. It was, ohwait, this fourteen years. My novel's
(54:50):
wrong. Almost fifteen years ago youasked me for my Twitter handle because you
don't exchange phone numbers. Yeah,it was like schoolgirls something, and I
gave you the wrong one and Iwas like, no, that's it.
Yeah, it was the wrong onefor a few months too, un remember
(55:12):
it, and then I was justlike, let me just pull it up.
I think everybody except for me hasa Twitter account that they created around
that time that they just forgot theinformation for it and just ditched it and
just made a new account when Twitterstarted popping off a few years ago.
I've had my Twitter accounts since twothousand and seven. Uh, mine two
thousand and eight, because I thinkI just made a Twitter a couple of
(55:36):
months before I met you, right, yeah, wait, let me look,
because I still I still use itfrom time to time. But yeah,
what are you grateful for? Um, it's funny that you should talk
about the circle, like the peoplethat you're curating and stuff. That's actually
one of the things that I talkedabout in my therapy session last week,
(55:57):
and how um, like, yes, every I was talking about how whenever
we have are one of the goodthings about our friendship is that we're constantly
not just like gassing each other uptelling each other grateful, but we're always
sort of revisiting, Okay, whatare we getting from this friendship from each
side? And it doesn't feel onesided. It never feels one sided.
(56:22):
Yeah, but it's just funny thatyou mentioned that because I just talked about
that and how like basically I've beenover the past like two or three weeks,
I've just been expressing gratitude to everybodyfor everything, and so I'm honestly
I'm grateful for just being in abetter headspace yea from and having a really
(56:42):
good support system because I know Italked about how about a month ago,
I wasn't in a really good placeand so I have a really good support
system apparently, which I was surprisedme because normally I don't talk about things,
but I've been very open this timeabout hey, I'm not doing well,
and surprisingly everybody surprising for me becauseI've never talked about it, but
(57:06):
surprisingly for me. M my supportsystem has been supporting me well. So
I'm grateful for them, mom,my therapist, you, my brothers,
just everybody who has been supportive withouteven knowing it. UM grateful for them.
And I'm grateful for my body,even though it doesn't feel great sometimes
(57:29):
I'm grateful for Like, this isthe one that I get, So I'm
grateful for what it's doing for me. Look it, this is the body
that brought us to the pandem.This is what I got. This is
what you're gonna get from it.And I'm happy with it with how it
feels. Like. My back issore right now, but you know what,
it's my back, Hey, it'smine. It's the only one I'm
(57:52):
gonna get. Right. Yes,that is very true, but you gotta
to be appreciative of it. AndI really, I really appreciate everyone for
tuning in to this episode of Takea Space Podcast and being on this journey
with us talking about cosmic show,good times, you know, the audacity
(58:12):
that some people have a journey shame. Same thing, shame and humility.
Don't humility part because that's the wholepoint of shame is just to be humble,
not to be not to be afraidor embarrassed. But we need to
revisit that s word though, humility. Humility. That's what we're focusing on.
(58:32):
Um, you know, taking takingnecessary risk, but not like reckless
audacious risks like come on, comeon, but then owning the space you
occupy, which is what we alwaysalways talk about here take a space podcast.
But please remember to be you know, gratuitous, is that the word
(58:53):
that I'm looking for? Gracious,grateful, gratuitous the word I feel like
it is tuitous, uncalled for,lacking good reason, unwarranted, given or
done free of charge. Solicitors providea form of gratuitous legal legal advice.
(59:16):
Gratuitous is a word. But that'snot the word that I'm learning a word
you were going for? No,that is not great. Appreciative, Yes,
appreciative. Yeah you said that earlier. Okay, Um, you guys
can find me on no absolutely plugyourself. You guys can find me on
(59:38):
Twitter, Instagram, sometimes TikTok maybemaybe JJ JJ underdash Newberry. We're going
back with the underdash. Now findthe underdash hashtag find the underdash no JJ
underscore, JJ Underscore Newberry, Instagram, Instagram, instag arm reading is fundamental.
(01:00:05):
You know what for two it is? That's that's a word that I
was a conversation. Are fundamental accordingto mister West, Please don't, please
don't take life advice from Kanye West. Don't. If there's anything that you
take away from this episode, takeaway these last fifteen seconds where we tell
(01:00:29):
you do not take life advice fromKanye West. That man is a billionaire.
That man is not in the bestspace from reality in a lot of
different respects. He does not haveyour best interests at heart at all.
Do not take life advice from KanyeWest. You will find yourself broke and
in a really bad situation. Broke, poor, broke, busted and disgusted.
(01:00:54):
That is what you would be.That is a word. I'm not
a religious man. Oh he wasdragged after he said that, because that's
what he called us, That's whathe called his congregation. But thank you
so much for tuning in. Pleasemake sure after you follow Jason at JJ
Underscore Newberry on Everything, make sureyou follow us at take Up Space pod
(01:01:14):
to take Up Space Pete od onFacebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.
Please make sure you subscribe to ourYouTube page. We are trying to
get those numbers up. But thankyou so much for rocking with us who
really appreciate it. We'll see youin the next episode. Bye.
I'm not attacking you. I'm justasking do you know the difference between racking
and wrecking? Yeah, racking.Wrecking is like when you destroy something.
Racking is like when you Um,I always think of like racking your brain,
like going through stuff to try tofind something, like trying to remember
something or something like that. Tellme what's the difference. So wrecking was
(00:24):
correct, But racking also has todo with ruin. Um, did you
want me to read it? BecauseI can. I pulled it up to
read it a couple of hours ago. Do what you need to do this?
I was like, huh, Iwonder if I'm not gonna look at
(00:45):
you. Do what you need todo? Though, I wonder if Jason
knows the difference because in all ofhis logos origins, I don't know the
word for origins in Latin. Sothe word origins books, that's what That's
(01:06):
the word that I was looking for. Yep, that itself my word.
So um So I looked it upbecause I was I was curious as to
whether you say nerve wrecking or nerveracking, and if you rack or wreck
(01:30):
your brain or white people were usingthe W R or the R version of
what the differences were. So,um, racking means to utterly ruin.
Okay, Um, the nerve thereare nerve wrecking, not nerve sorry,
(01:57):
nerve racking not nerve wracking. Right, um, because people who say nerve
wrecking are incorrect, incorrect, theywould be doesn't even sound right, it
would be incorrect. Um, Idon't even sound right. So yes,
So to rack is to when you'rewhen something, when it's racking, Um,
(02:21):
it is causing utter ruin um orto wreck it um. To wreck,
to wreck something is to uh actually, let me see if this is
the same. This is so violent? Um. I really want to I
really want you to look at theetymology of wreck. So it is um
(02:46):
more it's it's closer to the destructionof a ship like shipwreck um, or
something especially a vehicle or a buildingthat has been badly damaged or destroyed.
Um. Racking is to utterly ruin, but it doesn't have that vessel attached
(03:07):
to it. Yeah. Okay,see I see interesting. Interesting. Yeah,
just then attack over. I justwanted to know if you knew like
the difference, because I was curiousas to why people would say rep instead
(03:28):
of rap and why they would spellit without the w You saw Logan right
the final Wolver movie. Okay,remember when Professor X would sort of go
into conniptions and just like start attackingeverybody. That's what this is like,
like those random psychic attacks. Yeah, it's like a random psychic attack that's
(03:50):
just completely unprovoked. You'll just sendthese words that call into question credibility.
First of all, I didn't askyou if you galvanize the group to push
them to create a utopian world um, which was one of the sentences that
I had put together in my draftsto send, But I didn't, so
(04:13):
that that doesn't phaze me. Actuallyknow what I was like because galvanized one
word. I was like, oh, I'm always I'm always I'm always liked
galvanized, but it's never come upas like a word of a word a
day, word of the day.So I was like my moment to Italian.
It was in my drafts for aminute, and then I was just
like, Nah, drafts are asafe place, you should leave it there.
(04:38):
Not all my sentences are going tostay in my drafts. Though I
know I've let you have your timeto readjust to be back at work.
That's even more of a threat.You said, I'll let you rest.
That was not a threat. I'mjust making this statement of fact that's worse
than a threat. Actually, that'slike when your mom tells you something then
(05:00):
and she's it's just not a threat. To at home is a guarantee,
it's a promise. Did my motherjust threatened me to be at home where
I have nowhere to go? ButI'm home. I gotta deal with Leah
just randomly. She's blindsiding me.It's not like I can ignore text messages
(05:20):
because she's in Seattle, and peoplerun through the streets of Seattle with Madelo
in their arms, So I haveto wonder is she giving did she see
the MODELO? Think again, Ican tell you okay, so okay,
I don't think we talked about iton this show. Two sets of armed
(05:40):
guards, so there were and thisman needs to chest I knee and yet
I mean out the door across thestreet, like grinning from ear to ear
because he has what is it oneor two cases of two case of Madelo.
Oh my is bliss and I that'sextremely happy in this guard and the
(06:06):
security guards come out after we crossedthe street and looking around like Oh,
I can't even be. I wasn'teven mad at the guy, not that
I would be mad anyway. Imean I want to be as happy as
he was in that moment. Hewas juiced. That was bliss. I
(06:28):
want to say last week I wasit was either last I think it was
last week. I am leaving withmy purse, my purchased goods and there,
and I have my earphones in becauseI don't like people talking to me.
Yeah, that's probably weren't even on. It's just dude, No,
I don't. I don't need asoundtrack every time because I need to be
(06:49):
aware of somebody's like coming up behindme. So um, So I'm walking
to the door. I see commotion. I see commotion. The guy I
has a carrier basket full of stuff, but he is at the entrance door,
not the exit where the self checkoutis. And so and there are
(07:12):
four four police or four security peoplestanding around and sorry, start off with
one plain closed person and one securityperson. And the plainclosed person apparently was
a supervisor or some sort, becausethey called him over and was like,
hey, where are you going?What are you doing? Apparently this man
(07:33):
tried to leave the store with allof these goods not paid for with the
carrier thing. And as I'm leaving, because he was like, I'll go
pay for this stuff, blah blahblah blah. And I don't know why
they let him walk away with hisitems. I feel like he's gonna try
to leave out of another door,of course, but they let him walk
(07:57):
away with all his stuff. Andthe security person, one of the security
people who had just come back,was just like, oh, I thought
he was trying to give the attentionto somebody outside to let him know that
they're done so he could come payfor it. Okay, he's in on
it. The security guard was inon it. How did you make that
leap? What do you do that? And then the other security guard security
(08:20):
guards, the security guard number twoand the security guard number three, was
just like, that's what I thought. Why why wouldn't a person us paying
come in with him? Right?He was like, oh, I thought
he was just leaning outside to getsomebody else's Is it me? Is it
(08:41):
us? And the superminds of personwas just like, no, thank you
so much for reporting that good eye, Like you have a good eye.
He was just like just doing myjob, sir, It's what I's what
I do, just doing my job. Nothing, you do nothing. I
was like, so, if thefirst security guard didn't say anything to him,
(09:01):
this man would have been high tailingit out of there with all of
his soul and good. Yeah heshould. He should have had somebody on
the other side of the door thathe could just pass it off to,
just just for their complete faith inwhatever pipe dreams that they had. I
(09:22):
wish that he had gotten away withit. I wish that he had the
bliss of Madelo. Man. Oh, that guy was so happy. He
was so happy, and he deservedit. I don't know why, but
he seemed like he deserved it.He was he was very and it's funny
because I didn't even see him onthird We didn't see him one third.
No, we went home after,No, we didn't see him again.
(09:43):
He just was gone in the windwith his Madelo And that's all I needed.
That was the day we went toum Baine Bridge Bridge. Yeah,
he would have called it Brisbane.Yeah, you should probably introduce the show.
We're ten minutes in. I meanI was going to, but I
(10:05):
was like, they know what theyclicked on? Hey, everybody, welcome
to another episode. To take aStace podcast. I am your Hostelia.
Thank you so much for tuning in. Yes, you've made it ten minutes
into the show, and if you'restill listening, we really appreciate it because
we like these kinds of interest andconversations. I don't know why Jason feels
attacked, but he's my co star, so he should feel very very welcome.
(10:28):
Welcome to the show, Jason.Sometimes you feel attacked when you go
to family member's houses. Hi,everybody's doing listen this year, this holiday
season, we are not doing that. We are not being attacked when we
come in the door. Would youjust fighting everybody you're tacking? No?
(10:48):
No, it is going to bepeace or I will leave violence. I'm
like, okay, yeah, that'sI mean that of the only options,
Like, no, is either gonnabe peace or I'm gonna go. You
didn't even there's a third option.What what do you mean I could just
walk away doing it wrong on theseyears? No? I I mean I've
(11:11):
never had a situation like all theseother people who are like, oh,
why do you have why do youhave that twos? Why do you have
three? Us Christmas gunfight? Really? For real? Really, come on,
No, gun fightslfit Eastern maybe maybea fish fight here or there,
but not with my immediate family andthe nuncle Sandwich. It's just like it
(11:35):
was. It was just something likemy family, like my immediate family,
we never did like if it was, we may get into it. Well,
why it is over super stuff?Why do you put the forks over
the are the fourth school over here? The fourth on goal over there?
The fourth School of beer? Likewe argue over stupent stuff. We don't
really yeah, we don't really wouldn'treally have problems like that. It's so
(11:56):
it's not like soul food. Nonobody, I don't even know. I
think we're just bound to stop talkingeach other before we ever start doing anything
like so who like, we don'thave drama like that. Like we are
a very like happy go lucky,almost Cosby esque family, which is which
is very interesting to me because whenI talk to people about familial experiences and
(12:22):
stuff like that, or even let'slet's not even take familiar experiences. When
I talk to people about like ifthey like watching the Cosby Show versus like
watching um jj um good times.I was gonna say, Earl, his
name is not Earl. His nameis James. No, oh, James
in Florida, right, Yes,okay, yeah, thank you because you
(12:45):
knew who I was talking about.So I so I never watched I mean,
I didn't watch that show like willingly. I've seen a couple of episodes
here and there, but that wasnever my show because that didn't resonate like
his my experien like why black peoplegot a struggle like that? Like I
know it happens, but that wasn'tmy experience. My experience is closer to
(13:07):
like the Cosmee Show. Show waslike a real a real family, at
least at least in my opinion.So when I cost people and they're just
like, oh my gosh, Ilove good times, and I'm just like,
why did you see why? Itwas just funny, wasn't it.
Yeah, all the episodes that Isaw were also depressing. That's really no,
(13:35):
I'm really joking about that part.No, It just I like that
time period, and my family didgrew up, not my immediate family,
but like my mom and stuff theygrew up in. They got so some
of the stuff that they would umthe Evans family experience, It wasn't to
that extreme. Yeah, it wasclearly an extreme Um, but just like
(13:58):
the band Turn stuff with the siblingsand stuff, it reminded me of just
like familiar type stuff. Yeah.Interesting, Yeah, I never I'll take
Cosby Show over over good times,and maybe I have to try to like
watch it again. But even aslike, I couldn't stand Bill Cosby even
(14:22):
as a kid. He annoyed mefor some reason, like the episodes where
he was the highlight I just didn'tlike. But like if like if he
was out of town or something orClaire was the highlight. Yeah, I'm
like, oh, this is good. They should write him off the show.
The show has gone on to bebetter without him. Yeah, it's
literally called the Cosby Show. AndI'm like, okay, let's just think
(14:45):
Felicia was shot him there, justgo with that. But yeah, I
like the Cosby Show growing up.I did. It just wasn't my favorite
show. Um. But between thatand like a Different World or something,
I would pick the Cosby Show anyday, Like I not like a different
World. Um. I can getinto it more now than I'm older,
probably because I live the college experienceand stuff and just being older. But
(15:09):
like as a little kid, Icould watch the Cosby Show because I could
resonate, like with Rudy and stuffand the kids, and just like how
harsh the parents were sometimes, likethe episode when they went to go see
Um that episode, Oh my god. Look. Growing up, I was
like, why is she so madat her? She's so mean to her.
(15:33):
Now when I watch it, Iwas like, no, she really
didn't go far enough with her.Listen. There were some points where I
was just like, my parents couldhave really really said some harsh things to
me, like watching that show orwatching that episode, and I'm just like,
because I mean, I wasn't.I wasn't always like on top of
(15:56):
my stuff, and so when Idid things like my parents could that,
I was like, oh my gosh, parents can go that far. Oh
my gosh. And if you goout of town, leave the state and
stuff, then I think you needto go that far with your kids personally.
Yeah, But when she had theaudacity to say I like my punishment
before I go, I was like, oh, yeah, that's one of
(16:18):
my favorite episodes of any show whereveron you have to go see the wretched,
Like, oh that episode and whenUm and when they tried to be
Diana Ross and the Supremes and theystuffed their bras that those two, I
was like, Vanessa, Vanessa,Vanessa. Between her and Sandra, I
(16:42):
was like, y'all need to NassandraDenise, y'all need to get it together.
Said she's gonna quit her jobs workingso working at the at the at
the camping store. I don't rememberenough of the show to remember which episode
(17:03):
that was, so she so literallyis when her and Elvin got together and
she's like her prestigious job and hegot he got him a steth an engraved
stethoscope because he was gonna be adoctor. She was going to be a
lawyer, and they had both gottenthe gifts for those careers. And then
they came and said, we're actuallyopening a wilderness store. And I was
(17:26):
like, imagine telling your parents thatthey spent all this money for you to
be educated, for you to belike actually talked was Soundra's husband right?
I couldn't stand him. Um yeah. I was like, they tried to
introduce like an extremely misogynistic character andI think he kind of it didn't it
(17:52):
didn't backfire. I think that itkind of just fell flat in some parts
because he wasn't just like but nowthat I'm older, like when I was
younger, I was like, peopledon't really think. No, people absolutely
think worse than this, and Ifeel like he was he only like attempted
to open the obol up with that, and so it's just it's really interesting
(18:14):
that a person who is as independentas Saunder would be with someone who's like
that. Yeah, so that's whyI was just like, huh, but
yeah, but I do like butmost of the family shows I do.
I do like that one and ProudFamily, but it's like I can watch
like the other shows like So Foodand the talk about the show. Um,
(18:40):
I've seen So Food the show theone time, and then I fell
off, Yeah, because it gotit went from so weird. Yeah.
It was like like I remember myparents like telling me, you know,
my dad He was like so andI don't know what season it was,
(19:03):
but it turned very adult and hewas just like, he has too much
sex going on. You can't watchany more movie, should be watching this
anymore? Yeah, he was justlike, yeah, it's too much sex.
It's like they found out like,oh, wait where else showtime?
Right, And then it was likeseason season two or three or something like
that. They were into the showand they were just like, everybody have
(19:26):
sex. Everybody, everybody have sex, everybody have problems with sex. Let's
focus on the bedroom and wherever else. And I'm just like, how did
we get did this have to happen? I was like, okay, but
yeah, big mom in your arm, Um, whenever I go into a
(19:52):
coffee fit, I know this ishorrible. Whenever me or during going to
a coffing fit, or anybody aroundthis goes into a coffing fit, we
start say, big momma, don'tdo it. No, you have to
get the family, you have togo, you have to get this.
Oh my god, that movie isdepressing. It is, and it's like
(20:15):
how And the crazy thing is,until I saw Boondocks, I never thought
about it from the perspective that UmAaron mcgrutter did, of like, Okay,
this lady just died eating all thisall this food, the way she's
eating, living the way she's living, and we're coming together to honor her
by doing the same thing that she'sdoing by having the child to get everybody
(20:38):
together under the guys of taking everybody. And then they took Uncle Pete's money.
That was Uncle Pete's money. Idon't know it was I thought it
was Uncle Joe. No, theMama's Joe. The Mama's Joe. Yeah.
(21:00):
Yes, we are so far offtopic, off any kind of topic
of what we talked about. Topicwould have never known, um anything.
We could have absolutely just veered rightinto the topic. But I don't know
how to say the quiet things loud. Yeah, sometimes that makes for the
(21:21):
best segways. I don't. Idon't think that's the case. You know
what's crazy? Sorry, I justcut you off. Um, just me
saying segue just reminded me of thefact that the person who invented segue died
in a segue accident, like hedrove it over a cliff. See,
(21:41):
if we were on topic, wewouldn't even talk about segway. But why
would he go over a cliff?Like he knew the cliff was there?
I'm a settlement. Is that anurban legend? Let me see? Maybe
I got urban legend Segway inventor dead? See they know what I want to
search for. Yeah, he diedfrom injuries apparently sustained falling from a cliff
(22:03):
while writing his own product. Whywould you be writing a motorized unicycle as
unstable as remember it has two wheelscliff, but some of them, some
of them only have one. Thewheels face the wrong way for me to
be near a cliff on that thing, right, there's no reason to be
(22:26):
not on your own feet when youare not on the ground at sea level.
There's no reason why they should havea picture with the trajectory of his
fall. That's sick. That poorman. I don't like this episode.
(22:48):
He was trying to do the Worldof Favor. He was just trying to
get his mobile. He was tryingto the World of favor. Have you
ever have you as an adult rollerstated? I tried. I tried,
Lord, I tried. Um,I need to I have six to five.
(23:15):
It didn't work out. You know, like when a baby draft tries
to stand up and your leg goout like this, That's exactly how it
looks when I tried to be fair, I've only tried to roller blade because
my stepmon bought us roller blade.When you're for Christmas, like a long
time ago, like when we're inhigh school. They sat in the garage
(23:36):
because it was like we tried toride him in the backyard just to try
it, and it was just alwaysum. It's because in that case I
couldn't even stand on that floating dock. Remember that is true, but that
was because of the gravity. Yeah, the floating of the center of gravity
(23:56):
is just too high for me,honestly, to be completely honest, some
days I have trouble even standing up, Like my balance is that bad sometimes.
Um fiber miles er Um didn't havefiber miles as a teenager though.
That's just poor course strength, poorcore stability. Literally, when I asked
(24:19):
you if you ever ilustated, Ithought of the joke, what has what
has sixteen wheels that covered in spots? Giraffe? Yeah, that's exactly what
it looked like. If you canimagine a baby draft, or if you
can google a baby draft standing upfor the first time, that's how my
legs would blow out trying to standup. So it would get to the
(24:44):
point where I would just squat andjust submit myself to accept my faith on
the ground and just crawl on mybutt back to the little porch. And
it takes rollerblates off. I haveno shame about that, no shame.
(25:07):
I can ride a bike. I'mokay with that. A lot of people
can't ride bikes. Have you haven'tridden a bike recently, um, not
a few years. But it's justlike riding a bike, you walk yourself
right into that. I hope youfeel I hope I don't. I you
(25:30):
know, I feel like in aworld where people do what they want and
say the quiet things out loud,shame is something that is just can I
say that like a movie trailer?Yeah, in a world where people feel
no shame and they the quiet thingsout loud, if you get us on
(25:51):
topic, we wouldn't. You wouldn'thave to deal with the threat of me
leaning into this microphone. Literally wasworking my way into the topic. Yeah,
I'm saying all the quiet parts outloud. Anyway, I feel like
with so many people not having likeno shame in their game, and you
know, oh, I do this, I said out, I said I
(26:14):
did this. I slept with thatperson, I said this thing. I
did this thing. And it's like, ain't here You're you're proud of that,
Like the clip that's going around onKaye Westwind. They were like,
oh, did you even read thisbook? He was like, I haven't
read any book. I would ratherhave conversations because reading books is like eating
Brussels sprouts to me, and Iwas like, the hell are you talking?
(26:37):
What are you? What are you? What are you talking about?
But if Brussels sprouts are prepared wellroasted Brussels sprouts, absolutely absolutely, that
is to say, And we're notabout to get on the delicious train lead.
That's not where I was going withUM. That is to say,
(27:00):
if you find the right books andyou find the right strategies for how you
want to read, even if it'san audio book. For a long time
I resisted audio books. They're notfor me. I get why people enjoy
them, They're not for me.I don't retain the information as well.
If it's an audio book, Ijust for me. It's about UM.
(27:25):
Retaining information comes down to whether it'sinteresting. It doesn't matter how I get
the information is whether it engages me. So audio books for audio books that
can make it work for me ifI need to UM podcasts, movies,
documentaries, anything. Basically, aslong as the information gets into me and
I can it holds my attention,then I have a problem with it.
(27:45):
But I'm just like, I wantpeople to have more shame, and is
shame keeps people humble? Feel likeI feel like you're going against this feels
contrary to what the god the missionis of TUSP. I feel like I
(28:07):
feel like I can absolutely be humbled, because I think shame humbles you,
and it's okay to take up spaceand still be humbled. At the same
time, I'm not saying to comeup here in Peacock and act like your
stuff, don't think, act likeyou've never made a mistake before, act
like you own the world, likeyou can absolutely rule the world the piece
(28:29):
of the world that you have.But to come up here to act like
I have it all, I gotit all, you know, I'm getting
down the mud or whatever people aregoing downadays, I feel like it's some
people. Some people need to needto express how they got it out the
mud. No, my parents setme up very well, so I don't
have to get it out the mud, and I feel like it's I feel
(28:52):
like if people would do more tohave shame, we wouldn't be in a
situation where people like me who workreally hard to achieve the level of success
that I achieve, and when Ido receive the status or the role or
the title that I get, I'mquestioning whether I'm good enough for that.
(29:15):
Dear listener, dear listener, Mydearest listeners, thank you for having me
my guest. If I had knownthat she would turn this into a call
for shame, I would have kepttalking about good times and family shows.
It's not okay, let me sayit like this. It's not a call
(29:37):
for shame. It's not a callfor chance. You're literally calling for shame.
I mean, I'm saying that people, there's there's a level of humility.
However, you gotta get it likeit's sometimes it's not shamed. Sometimes
it's not shame. Sometimes it's somebodybigger and better coming to knock you down
a few picks. Okay, However, you need to get humility. Humility
(30:00):
is what's going to help you beprepared. There's a lot of boldness.
There's a lot of confidence. There'sa lot of um pride, so to
speak, um, a little bitof pride, Like it's more it's more
I think confidence and boldness that reallymay use step forward um to take up
the space that you want to takeup. But I think that when people
(30:21):
don't have any shame or any humilityor any um feeling of am I doing
the right thing? Like like amoral compass, so to speak, Um
they tend to do things like Idon't know how many articles I've read over
the weekend about um people who peoplehaving hired other people to show up for
(30:48):
their interviews and right lying and peoplehave lighted the light on their resume for
years. This is nothing new,honestly, Like, do what you need
to do if you feel they're goinganyway. But to hire somebody to come
in and interview for you, andthen to have the audacity to walk into
(31:11):
the place not being the person whointerviewed for that position, that's a different
kind of boldness that I feel.It's there's that seems unsafe. Yeah,
that's a safety thing to me too, Like that's well, most most interviews
(31:32):
are happening virtually, right, Like, yeah, they're happening virtually. Typically
you have to have your camera forit for them. I'm looking to see
if audacity is a word that Iwant to use. I love that word,
the audacity. No, I getwhere you're coming from. I think,
Um, yeah, willingness to takesurprisingly bold risks, Yeah, risks,
(31:57):
risks showing an impudent lack of respect. Impudent respect that means what like
without impudent without consequence, Right,impudent means not showing due respect for another
person. See, I'm thinking ofsomething. I'm thinking of impunity. I'm
(32:20):
impertinent unity. What was that?Something sounded like some base or something just
dropped. Maybe it was my neighborsagain, but I get where you're coming
from. I think, let's getthis boat back on track or this train
back on track. Um, it'sit's the people who who do show up
(32:42):
and take all these outrageous risks ofhiring other people to do their interviews or
showing up in spaces, and becausethey have the confidence or arrogance, not
even confidence, they have the arrogancejust like catch me if you can't to
act like they belong in that space. Like sometimes like it gets on my
(33:07):
nerves, But then there's a smallpiece of me that just like I wish
I had that kind of audacity alittle bit, you know, just this
is a little just a little,just a little, just a little smidgen,
not a lot, Just enough forthe rules that I've already prepared for,
for the rules that I'm already alreadyfor, that I can perform in
(33:30):
that I can outdo other people.Because sometimes it feels like sometimes a lot
of times it feels like when I'min these rules, I really bit my
tongue. Sometimes when I'm in theseroles, um, I feel like maybe
(33:52):
I don't know enough or maybe maybebecause it's like the more I learned,
the more questions I have. Andone of my managers before asking me to
quantify how much I know, they'relike, hey, you know, so
now that you've been in your rolefor a year, what would you say
your level of expertises? Do youfeel like you're at like a four,
at like an eight? Are youlike a ten out of ten? And
(34:15):
I was like, listen, I'mgonna answer it like this. I don't
know what I don't know, butI know enough to get the resources that
I need to get. Should ifI'm asked a question, so, because
I'm constantly learning, that is somethingthat I cannot quantify at this time.
(34:38):
And at first I thought that waslike kind of a cop out answer,
but then it made me feel comfortablebecause I know that I left myself open
to say that I know what Ineed to do to get my job done,
and I know a little bit morethan that, so that if I
(34:59):
need to collaborate with other people toget the job done, but I can't
say that, like I'm the goto person to like ask these questions.
And but if I just had alittle dim as the audacity of the people
to show up into spaces and justlike I'm the captain. Now it's like
you act like you belong here,but you have zero authority, you have
(35:22):
zero education, zero background, zeroeverything. And the people who come in
and just take over stuff and theymess it up and just leave. Knew
what he was doing. That's that'sone of the reasons why I feel so
bad for introverts, because I knowthat in a lot of spaces because my
(35:45):
because I because I speak with confidencea lot of times, like I feel
really bad for introverts who know morethan me, because I'll say part of
what they're thinking, but that theymay think of other things because they're in
a observation mode that you could say, but they just don't. And so
there are leadership positions that are offeredto me because I'm an extrovert as opposed
(36:08):
to the introvert who never speaks upbut has really good ideas or as or
who has made some really great observations, but because they don't see anything,
people don't really look at them aslike leadership material, and I think,
I don't know why. I thinkabout that a lot, like, but
I make sure as a leader nowI make sure I go around the room.
(36:35):
Hey, what are your thoughts.I want to hear what you're thinking.
What is it that you see becauseI could be wrong, I'm only
seeing it from my perspective. Showme something different, And I try to
bring that to my leadership meetings.I try to bring that to my team
meetings. I try to bring thatto different spaces so that everybody's voice can
(36:58):
have a say and if they choose, you know, and I'm like,
hey, if you can't think ofanything right now, please send me an
email. Please let me know,you know, if there are stuffing that
you think about that oh this wouldbe good, but blah blah. Yeah.
I used to not think of myselfas a leader until I started teaching,
because even like when I was inclass and stuff and like in group
(37:21):
projects those kinds of things, Iwould always be that person that would wait
until like the end to share mythoughts. But the more that I've taught,
tutored and just become confident with onebeing an introvert, like just being
sort of leaning into that and thatbeing in that observation mode all the time,
(37:44):
just like you how you bring itto your different meetings and stuff.
I bring that to all the meetingsthat I attend my tutoring sessions by teaching,
where I have to be very carefulnot to take over the conversations because
I do have like a lot ofreally good ideas and I know that I
am being seen in a leadership position, but I'm careful to constantly check in,
like maybe every ten minutes or so, like Okay, what do you
think? What should we do here? What should we do here? What
(38:06):
should we do here? And justconstantly asking. So I think that's um
something that I don't know if otherintroverts could learn from that or could pick
up on that. But I don'tknow if it's something that I just got
more comfortable with just with teaching,or if that's just my teaching style.
Where's that very collaborative style, Butum yeah. Part of it also probably
(38:27):
goes back to me being the middlechild and constantly feeling like I wasn't heard,
the technical middle child, constantly feelinglike I wasn't hurt. So I'm
like, Okay, I'm gonna makesure that everybody it's heard. Well.
I think that you also, I'mjoking about the middle child part by the
way, you were kind of like, well, not thrust it, because
(38:51):
that's not the right word to usethere, but because of the position that
you took on in education, yeah, and the point of view you shared,
especially being the literal minority in alot of the spaces that you're end
I think that you have had multipleopportunities, especially in the beginning. No,
(39:12):
sorry, not so much. Inthe beginning, you didn't have as
many opportunities. And I think wetalked about this maybe two one or two
years into your teaching, where youweren't given opportunities to speak up to say
this is not going to work forme, or this wouldn't work as a
whole, like on this. ButI think that by your second or thirty
(39:35):
year you've made it a point tospeak up in certain aspects, whether it
is replying to the emails, orsaying something in the meetings, or talking
with your department heads or whatever aboutwhat it is you see from your perspective,
so that they know that you're aperson who has something to say and
that you really it's really interesting tosee her, Like how when I'm thinking
(39:57):
back, I'm like, yeah,could you work. I have to remind
myself that you're in introverse sometimes becausedo you speak a lot more now than
you yeah, when you started.And I think that as a traverse.
If they take anything from this isthat, Um, there is a practiced
way, but literally, you justhave to speak up. You have to
do it. It's extremely uncomfortable.I'm not even gonna lie. It goes
(40:22):
somewhat against my um nature, likejust what I feel in my core to
like my if I have my way, I would not talk. I'm not
even lying, not even joking.I would just be in silence most of
the time, not even kidding.Like when my brother's not here, I
turn off the TV in the livingroom, I turn off the music in
(40:42):
my room, and I'm literally justin here working silent, like maybe seventy
five percent of the time, becausethat's when I can, like I hear
common stuff some when I'm around people. It's distracting for me. Um,
but I know that there's value ininteracting with people. I know that I
get that, like if it makesme feel good to interact with people,
So there is a practiced way whereyou can interact with certain people, even
(41:06):
if it's just like your massage therapistor whatever, however often you go to
see them. That can be practicedjust to get comfortable with interfacing with somebody,
then branching out going to visit yourfriend in Seattle and talking to the
street hustlers and stuff on accident anddoing that kind of stuff. But there's
a way to just sort of I'mnot saying that there's a right or wrong
(41:28):
way to do it, because Ican't tell you how to socialize, but
there's a specific way that you canfind for yourself to become more comfortable with
interfacing with people so that you don'tfeel like if you feel this way,
it's so that you don't feel undervaluedor don't you don't feel unheard. If
you're okay with being quiet and stuff, that's fine too. But if you
(41:51):
do feel like you're not being heard, if you feel like you're not being
your perspectives aren't being shared, thenthere is a way that you can even
share your ideas with other people sothat they can sort of be like a
proxy for you, or sharing yourideas by writing them out and slipping into
somebody, just so you can getcomfortable sharing those ideas with people. That's
(42:13):
what I would do, Like whenI was in when I first started teaching
and stuff, I would just sitin our TA meetings. When I was
a graduate assistant, I would sitin our meetings and not really say anything.
Me and my friend would only theonly other black person who was in
my program. We would sit andwe would make our shift our eyes at
each other. We would sight outeach other and stuff and just share our
(42:35):
comments afterwards. And so I wouldshare my comments with her, and then
at the next meeting, she wouldshare my comments with the group, even
though they were sort of presented aslike, well, some people feel like
this, and so people I wouldsee people that would agree with my perspectives,
and so that made me feel moreconfident. And so that can be
something. Just have that proxy thatspeaks up for you and then built that
confidence and then you rip the maskoff me like it was me all along.
(43:00):
Me. That was my idea.So I say that to say,
yeah, I grew up around alot of introvert or extroverted people. Um,
so I saw how to be extroverted. So I kind of lean on
what they did to build my extrovertedpersona as an introvert, if that makes
(43:20):
sense. So you're part of mypersona by the way, Happy to be
here. But yeah, there's there'svalue in sharing your perspectives and finding some
way to share your perspectives. Mbecause if you're thinking it, somebody else
is probably thinking it too, andprobably ten more people are thinking it,
(43:42):
and ten more people want to speakup. Um, but they're probably just
as nervous as you. And ifyou just drop that one sentence, then
you'll probably start a conversation that youor discussion that you would not have even
expected. Yeah, there's one ofthe things that that you said about speaking
(44:02):
up because it is from like yourperspective and you need your voice to be
heard. It's not because I'm tryingto find a nice way to say it.
You're not speaking up because you thinkthat they care about you. Right.
You're not speaking up because you thinkthat you're trying to change your minds
(44:25):
or anything, right, right,You're you're literally speaking up to protect your
own interests. So if there's apolicy that's put in place, for example,
one thing that I know a lotof parents have to deal with when
they take when they say, youknow, no phones on the floor,
(44:45):
and it's like, my kids aregoing home to an empty house and I
need to make sure that their home, or my father is ill, or
you know, my kids are witha care giver, or whatever the case
may be. And they speak upa lot about like I have to have
my phone. And while everybody onthe floor may not be parents, they're
(45:09):
speaking up to protect their own interests. Right. So, whether you are
a woman, whether you are blackor Asian, or whether if you have
you know, if you're a neurodivergent, or if you are have some other
you know, different ability, andyou need to make sure that your interests
(45:30):
are protected. You have to learnhow to how to speak up. And
it's not a thing, like Jasonsaid, it's not going to happen overnight.
It's something that is legitimately practiced.You have to practice sticking up for
yourself, whether that is you know, telling the person to hold the door
open because you're because you know,you have to get things through, or
(45:51):
one of the things that I liketo do. One of the things that
I like to do to remind myselflike I have a voice, especially if
people are crowding, because should walkthrough Pipe Place market, people want to
stop it. Oh my gosh,I'm like, this place closed in three
minutes. I need to get there. Yes, I'm running behind, but
you guys need to get out ofmy way. So I experience because I
don't experience crowds like that. Iwas thinking about that when we were in
(46:15):
Pike Place, not to get youron topic, I was thinking about that
when we were there, and howI could see everything. Yees, you're
like on top of everyone and Iam in the think of everyone everything,
and so like when I would crouchdown and I would see like, oh,
it's literally like a wall is infront of you. Like everything that's
I can't see in front. Yeah, so I literally have to drop my
(46:37):
boys and make everybody in like becausepeople won't move. So I'll just like
I'll drop my wood excuse me,like and make people just like, oh,
let me just step out the way. I'm like, just get out
the way so I can, likeI forget that, Like I forget about
how much physicality plays a role injust interacting with the world. Even when
we're like at Disneyland with my nieceand stuff. Um, she's very short,
(47:00):
you know that. Tina is likeextremely short. But it's weird because
when people see me or my brother'swalking because we're so tall, it's like
they automatically cut a path, right, It's it's insane to me. But
I forget a lot about how justphysical space influence with so many different things.
But do go on. I'm sorry, I have improved my death glare
(47:22):
and not have such an agreeable face. So you have a tall so um
expression. Yeah, because when I'mwalking, if I'm walking and I'm just
like looking straight ahead and not makingeye contact with anyone, like people will
get out of my way because I'mgoing somewhere because they know they haven't it's
like very agreeable, just like heyyeah, if you're sight seeing with them,
(47:44):
then they won't move. Yeah yeah, And I'm just like get out
of my way, like move,move, moves you fly. But it's
something, it's something that's really practiced. And I was going to ask you
because there will be days where Idon't say anything, like especially if if
just don't call, if you don'tcall, if if other friends don't call,
and I'm just texting all day,Um, I'll forget what my voice
(48:07):
sounds like. Honestly, on dayslike that. I don't even like texting
people. It's literally I don't wantinteraction. You're like zero zero interaction would
be great, thank you? Yes, yeah, but wait, what was
your question? No? Do youforget? But do you forget like what
your voice is supposed to sounding,because especially if I'm on days like those,
(48:30):
I'm typically watching um, foreign filmsor like, uh yeah, pretty
much foreign films. It's always italways happens on that day, like I
end up watching like British heavy orNotllywood films or Bollywood films or whatever,
and my voice won't be my voiceand I have to like practice talking again
(48:52):
to get back to what my mybaseline voice sounds like. This is like
when you started talking in an Irishaccent for that one week, I wish
I was lying No, I don'tknow the topic back answering the question,
(49:16):
no, but um, Honestly,even on days like if if I'm going
to day where I'm not really talkingand stuff, I don't forget what I
sound like because if I'm watching something, I talk to it. It's it's
just a matter of I don't wantto talk to people, so I'll talk
to myself even when I'm working andstuff. If it's dead silent um or
(49:37):
when I'm writing or something, he'sdead silent as I'm typing, I'm talking
to myself, or I'm reading stuffback or um I'm reading a sentence so
that I can hear the rhythm ofit and stuff. But for me,
it's more so interacting with people andhaving even having control over the sound in
my space is a big part ofstuff. Like if Jordan has a TV
(50:00):
on and it's loud, then thatdisturbs me. But if I have the
TV on it's loud, and it'sa difference. No, because I wanted
that for myself for nothing A getsanybody else. Yeah, it's just a
matter of your own interests in thatmoment. This is what I need in
my space. Um So, yeah, I don't necessarily forget what I sound
(50:22):
like. Um No, sorry,I don't adopts. First of all,
remember when you moved to I thinkit was when you moved to Virginia and
you started talking no Texas is whenthe um I picked up an accent every
time I moved. Yeah, andhe got thicker every time you moved.
(50:45):
And I just know that Jordan justhad such a problem with that he did.
He point he pointed it out everyand I was like, listen,
I don't know what my voice soundslike now because I've been away from California
for you need to come back,you need to come hasn't been it's been
almost ten years, it has.Yeah. So some of my words are
(51:06):
very Eastern. Some of my wordsare very Southern. She has a worldwide
accent. Oh I wish, Iwish, I wish I sounded like I
was from nowhere. Can you imagineif you had the trans Atlantic accent,
you know that accent right now,like the old Carl Gable one when everyone
talked like this all the time.Oh, that nineteen nineteen twenties accent.
(51:30):
Yeah, oh gosh, it's transcent. I feel like I would. I
would prefer the news anchor, theAmerican news anchor out acce opposed to that.
I don't think I would want totalk very old timing because it takes
a lot of energy to talk likethat. Yeah, to keep your keep
(51:52):
the same energy and the same broaduct. Yes see, I wouldn't be able
to stay around too many people talkinglike that. But but if I talked
with my diet for him to talkabout broadcast voice. Oh, I wouldn't
be able to whistle. No,you can't whistle when you talk. Oh
god, I don't know why thatbugs me. But it's the whisp.
(52:19):
Yes, the whistle when people talk, and they and then they constantly do
it. I'm like, it's likea deliberate, complete anti lisp. Like
it's like, I'm not gonna havea lisp, So I'm gonna go to
the next extreme where it's just everythingis super I hate superesses. Why why
are we no? No? Becauseno, you know why. It's not
(52:45):
my fault. I'll say that.I'll say it's not my fault. Yes,
it is the space that I createdand I and I just I just
want to say this is this isa this is a section of the show
where we are going to be justhaving a little bit of gratitude. We're
just going to are We're having alittle bit of gratitude. And one thing
(53:07):
that I am grateful for is thesoft life that I'm creating. It's not
just soft life just for like thehashtag soft life, but it's the freedom
that I have in my life tosay, do, think and feel how
I want to be and just existin that space. Without asking for validation
or permission from anyone. And I'mgrateful that the people who I have invited
(53:31):
into my space honor that whether theyknow it or not. And sometimes it's
like just who they are, soit's not a thing where they have to
intentionally remember not to step on myboundaries. But I'm like, I am
grateful that the people who get toexperience this part of my life with me
are very encouraging and it's just createdsuch a peaceful place where I feel I
(54:00):
am achieving way more because I canreturn to this space at any given time
with the various people who I haveinvited into this intimate space with me,
so that I can achieve even more. So I'm really really grateful to be
able to have that space, wasn'tit? What is something that you're grateful
(54:20):
for? For the record, Iwasn't invited into this space. I'm a
squatter, so I just space foralmost thirteen years years thirteen years. It's
been yeah, almost fourteen almost semesterthat we met, fall semester two thousand
and eight. It was, ohwait, this fourteen years. My novel's
(54:50):
wrong. Almost fifteen years ago youasked me for my Twitter handle because you
don't exchange phone numbers. Yeah,it was like schoolgirls something, and I
gave you the wrong one and Iwas like, no, that's it.
Yeah, it was the wrong onefor a few months too, un remember
(55:12):
it, and then I was justlike, let me just pull it up.
I think everybody except for me hasa Twitter account that they created around
that time that they just forgot theinformation for it and just ditched it and
just made a new account when Twitterstarted popping off a few years ago.
I've had my Twitter accounts since twothousand and seven. Uh, mine two
thousand and eight, because I thinkI just made a Twitter a couple of
(55:36):
months before I met you, right, yeah, wait, let me look,
because I still I still use itfrom time to time. But yeah,
what are you grateful for? Um, it's funny that you should talk
about the circle, like the peoplethat you're curating and stuff. That's actually
one of the things that I talkedabout in my therapy session last week,
(55:57):
and how um, like, yes, every I was talking about how whenever
we have are one of the goodthings about our friendship is that we're constantly
not just like gassing each other uptelling each other grateful, but we're always
sort of revisiting, Okay, whatare we getting from this friendship from each
side? And it doesn't feel onesided. It never feels one sided.
(56:22):
Yeah, but it's just funny thatyou mentioned that because I just talked about
that and how like basically I've beenover the past like two or three weeks,
I've just been expressing gratitude to everybodyfor everything, and so I'm honestly
I'm grateful for just being in abetter headspace yea from and having a really
(56:42):
good support system because I know Italked about how about a month ago,
I wasn't in a really good placeand so I have a really good support
system apparently, which I was surprisedme because normally I don't talk about things,
but I've been very open this timeabout hey, I'm not doing well,
and surprisingly everybody surprising for me becauseI've never talked about it, but
(57:06):
surprisingly for me. M my supportsystem has been supporting me well. So
I'm grateful for them, mom,my therapist, you, my brothers,
just everybody who has been supportive withouteven knowing it. UM grateful for them.
And I'm grateful for my body,even though it doesn't feel great sometimes
(57:29):
I'm grateful for Like, this isthe one that I get, So I'm
grateful for what it's doing for me. Look it, this is the body
that brought us to the pandem.This is what I got. This is
what you're gonna get from it.And I'm happy with it with how it
feels. Like. My back issore right now, but you know what,
it's my back, Hey, it'smine. It's the only one I'm
(57:52):
gonna get. Right. Yes,that is very true, but you gotta
to be appreciative of it. AndI really, I really appreciate everyone for
tuning in to this episode of Takea Space Podcast and being on this journey
with us talking about cosmic show,good times, you know, the audacity
(58:12):
that some people have a journey shame. Same thing, shame and humility.
Don't humility part because that's the wholepoint of shame is just to be humble,
not to be not to be afraidor embarrassed. But we need to
revisit that s word though, humility. Humility. That's what we're focusing on.
(58:32):
Um, you know, taking takingnecessary risk, but not like reckless
audacious risks like come on, comeon, but then owning the space you
occupy, which is what we alwaysalways talk about here take a space podcast.
But please remember to be you know, gratuitous, is that the word
(58:53):
that I'm looking for? Gracious,grateful, gratuitous the word I feel like
it is tuitous, uncalled for,lacking good reason, unwarranted, given or
done free of charge. Solicitors providea form of gratuitous legal legal advice.
(59:16):
Gratuitous is a word. But that'snot the word that I'm learning a word
you were going for? No,that is not great. Appreciative, Yes,
appreciative. Yeah you said that earlier. Okay, Um, you guys
can find me on no absolutely plugyourself. You guys can find me on
(59:38):
Twitter, Instagram, sometimes TikTok maybemaybe JJ JJ underdash Newberry. We're going
back with the underdash. Now findthe underdash hashtag find the underdash no JJ
underscore, JJ Underscore Newberry, Instagram, Instagram, instag arm reading is fundamental.
(01:00:05):
You know what for two it is? That's that's a word that I
was a conversation. Are fundamental accordingto mister West, Please don't, please
don't take life advice from Kanye West. Don't. If there's anything that you
take away from this episode, takeaway these last fifteen seconds where we tell
(01:00:29):
you do not take life advice fromKanye West. That man is a billionaire.
That man is not in the bestspace from reality in a lot of
different respects. He does not haveyour best interests at heart at all.
Do not take life advice from KanyeWest. You will find yourself broke and
in a really bad situation. Broke, poor, broke, busted and disgusted.
(01:00:54):
That is what you would be.That is a word. I'm not
a religious man. Oh he wasdragged after he said that, because that's
what he called us, That's whathe called his congregation. But thank you
so much for tuning in. Pleasemake sure after you follow Jason at JJ
Underscore Newberry on Everything, make sureyou follow us at take Up Space pod
(01:01:14):
to take Up Space Pete od onFacebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.
Please make sure you subscribe to ourYouTube page. We are trying to
get those numbers up. But thankyou so much for rocking with us who
really appreciate it. We'll see youin the next episode. Bye.
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