October 5, 2022 • 49 mins
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
It is. What is something thatyou've done recently that you've regretted? Oh
M, lightweight regret getting both vaccineson the same day. I don't know,
(00:21):
honestly. It's not the fact thatI got them on the same day.
It's more so that I did iton the same day and then worked
the day after. I would stillget them on the same day, but
I would make sure I would doit on either Friday or take the day
off so you can recover. Yeah, so I could just be completely wiped
out. That was an easy one, actually, Like that's literally the only
(00:44):
regret that stands out at this pointrecently, and it's just the scheduling.
I'm okay with getting both of themon the same day, flu shot and
booster same day, one day ofcrap. I'm good with it, But
don't work after you do that,because there are better choices to make.
I feel like this PSA should havegone out before you've done it, so
(01:08):
that this PSA should have been recordedin last week's episode. So that's neither
here nor there or anywhere. Whatabout you with something recently? So Saturday,
I went to go see smile mUm okay storyline, give it a
(01:34):
c minus. But the jump scareswas it like loud jump scares where it
was clearly just the sound played intoNo, it was like actual. It
wasn't like okay, I shouldn't callthem jump scares. It thrills like the
actual scary moments were. It wasn'tjust a jump scare, like actually something
there. Um. It wasn't likesound build up, sound build up,
(01:57):
and then the refrigerator door closed andthere's nothing. It would literally like ominous
music would slowly start playing, butas you're looking in the dark, a
figure starts to form, but youcan't really tell what it is until it
really starts to take shore. Ihave slept with the light on every day,
really, and I have only watchedcartoons. There's someone behind you,
(02:21):
silent, you know, I'm justplaying and I'm just like it. So
the movie itself is like one ofmy worst fears realized because she couldn't tell
the difference between her hallucinations and reality, so she would do the whole thing
and act out the whole thing,and then something would happen where she realized
(02:43):
I was never on the phone,or this person was never here, or
I never left the office, orI never did, and I was just
like yo. And while yeah,it was predictable as a predictable horror movie,
but the scars they had. Iwas a good majority of the film,
(03:04):
I was looking at the corner ofthe screen just to make sure that
when I panned back it was goodspoiler. Um the good thing was the
black guy didn't die, so yeah, um yeah, I was worried about
his safety for the first forty minutesof the movie. But um yeah,
I'm glad that I'm glad that hemade it. We deserved that he made
(03:29):
it. He was only like hewas a little black character. Cal Penn
was in it, really yeah,but not like as much. Um wait
is that his name? Harold andKumar? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
he was in it. It's interestingto see him as a more distinguished,
older gentleman Like that was interesting forme. But um yeah, that movie
(03:54):
it was good scary, and Imean, okay, it was. It
looks like one of those movies likethe trailer looks like one of those things
where it's like when I was younger, I would be really excited to see
it and then I would be disappointedby it. But now that makes me
a little more excited. To seeit. Yeah, I knew I shouldn't
(04:15):
have seen it because I knew thisis so weird. I knew I shouldn't
have seen it because the trailer picturewas haunting me for like a few days.
See that's how I want you tofeel about Tika Sumter, Like I
wanted, I don't want to thinkevery corner that you're going to think every
(04:38):
single corner is she there? What'sthat in the shadow over there? Is
that? Is that her? Isshe looking at? If I just slicked
just her forehead, she would shatterin a million pieces because it's just she
would like well maybe eggshells, notporcelain, but like something like glued together.
(05:00):
That was just you put the youput the you put the lotion on
its skin like yeah, but notno. They had a huge cio or
China cabinet, but it was justlike China. It wasn't like, uh,
(05:23):
different kind of nick knacks and stuff. Yeah yeah, yeah, it
was just different kind of glasses andum, like the translucent china plates and
stuff, so you know they're realum and some of the like the like
the heavier plates and like the theThanksgiving a Christmas wear and all that kind
of stuff, Yeah, yeah,especially occasion stuff. Yeah. But if
(05:45):
you're going to see Smile, andI'm a horror movie enthusiast, like Black
Horror Humor podcast representing UM shout outto Drake and Baylor and all of us
had Black Horror Humor UM watch horrormovies a lot, but this one is
the first one in a while thatgot me. And I was like,
I was just like, I shouldI shouldn't. I shouldn't have seen Like
my my place has no dark corners. Now sometimes I could leave the hall
(06:09):
light off and then just walk back. No, all the lights are on.
Nope, I don't even And I'mlike and people are like, oh,
you know, I use your flashno flashlight? What why? N
no what? No, no,no, no, So just be aware.
Um, Smile did get me,not because the storyline was so bad,
(06:32):
but they did send it up fora sequel, but it was just
like the actual horror of not knowingwhat's real, and that like added way
too many layers for me. Butyeah, so if you're going to see
that and that is one of yourthings, be prepared proceed with caution.
(06:55):
Absolutely, But welcome to another episodeto Take a Sace Podcast I'm your hostly
Yeah. Enjoying this week by myco star Jason. Hello, Hello,
Hello Jason. How's it going prettygood? Pretty pretty good? Yeah?
Better after double dosing. I'm feelingI'm feeling great. That was a rough
Friday. Um, A lot ofreally strange stuff happened. A lot of
(07:19):
concerning things happened, not just forme, not just the fever, but
just stuff with work. Um.So I'm not even sure a lot of
the stuff that happened during the day, um really happened. Um. You
know, fever dreams are a thing. So I ended up in my mom's
house, made it there. Um. It was a good weekend. Once
(07:44):
the vaccines kicked in. H gota good, nice clean bill of teeth
help today. So my teeth aredoing great. Oh, it's almost fine.
For my semi annual dental appointment.I need to make that appointment.
You should do that. Get thosechompers checked to make sure they stay.
(08:09):
Yeah, I was speaking of teeth. I was watching somebody eat crab for
the first time, and they gavehim like the um the silver crab like
their video. Yeah, Um,I'm sure they're I feel like they're the
um nutcrackers, like it looks likea nutcracker crab cracker things. Yeah,
(08:31):
yeah, I was like, no, my people are like teeth. We're
just using our teeth because I don'twant our teeth to be weak. We're
gonna eat like. I don't eveneat crab and I know that, but
I guess if you're in public,if you're like, no, you're like
out eating somewhere. No, Istill like, I can't eat crab though,
(08:56):
so sorry. You know, it'sokay, It's actually perfectly fine.
I never I've never really been atit. I enjoy it. I like
crab cakes, but I don't likelike cracking crabs and stuff. Love me,
I love me a good se Ifyou boil and I gotta work to
make sure everything, yes, that'sthe thing is too much work. It's
like, okay, one, ifI have to cook this stuff, why
(09:18):
do I have to put in morework to eat it? And Two if
somebody cooks it for me, whydo I have to put in work to
eat it? That's a part ofthe adventure. I don't want an adventure.
I want a meal. Take thetake the tails off my shrimp.
Oh my gosh. That frustrates me. Why if I'm especially when I'm on
(09:39):
a date. Why are you givingme tail on shrimp? You got to
drink and then you have to likeput it on the side of your bowl
and like a random plate that wasbrought with a saucer on it, I
mean, with a sauce on it. And I'm like, what do you
just for the tail? What doyou take them on? I don't need
them, take them and boil them. You boil them before they get to
(10:00):
me. Shrimp stop? What doyou? What do you? What do
you? What are you doing?I don't need this? No, but
I um but I mean I allsee, because that's the same argument my
aunt uses for some flower seats.She's like, all this work for a
little b seat and keeps the mouthby, keeps me focus on what I'm
doing so that I'm not like,man, I'm hungry flowers mindless task for
(10:22):
me. Yeah, I love eatingsome flower seats. I need to stop
eating. And during meetings, solike a little pinch of a little pinch
of baby like six or seven poppedthem in and somebody said, hey,
Leah, you gotta choose your snackscarefully when you're like when the threat of
(10:45):
being called on looms you have tochoose your snacks very carefully. I feel
like a lot of things that work. I get a passport because I'm the
only one of me, and soI can sound afraid to say anything.
Yeah, like culturally insensitive. Ohmy gosh, that is like because all
of them are like white woman.Yeah they're they're just most of them are
(11:13):
like either on the West Coast orMidwest, must of them or Midwest,
and um, it's it's very differentwhen so I feel like sometimes they handle
me, um a little bit differentlybecause they have to learn the West Coast
chick. I think that's all ofit. But yeah, you don't know.
(11:35):
It's only because you're from the WestCoast. It's weird sometimes when I
yeah, huh, yeah, goahead, you gotta itch in the back
end. Um, it's weird.It's weird when I'm in certain conversations and
I look up to see who's atthe meeting and it's literally like, um,
(11:58):
just like, oh, this isNancy Pelosi or this is um,
I don't know, Nicole Kidman.Oh this is Shirleys thereon, and I'm
like, weird meeting, But okay, I'm the only one up here with
(12:22):
oh man, and I have tolike and and I think what as another
layer to it is for me,I like to work smarter, not harder.
So when I'm like, oh mygosh, we need to do X,
y Z, process improvement all thatother stuff, and they're just like,
ah, We're used to doing thingsthis way. Please don't touch things.
(12:46):
Yeah that thing. That's one thingwith my job that I'm happy about.
Yeah, I'm the only black guythat's like full time, permanent in
my position or am I in thewriting center. But they seem very open
to any suggestion that I make,which actually makes me like slow down with
(13:07):
my suggestions because I don't want togive them everything at once. Yeah,
but I'm like, there's so manydifferent things that we could do to just
streamline what like how we operate everythingso that it would make it easier for
the students, for us and forthe tutors and everything. But a lot
of it is because before I camealong, from what I'm hearing from some
of my co workers, some peoplethat I work with who are more in
(13:31):
charge than others, have been resistancechoosing our words very carefully around this landmine
conversation. They have been very resistanttowards doing things differently because it's just the
way that things have always been done. But I guess part of what plays
into people listening to me more isthat with COVID happening, or the pandemic,
(13:52):
the ongoing pandemic, it's not over. Despite what Joe Biden says,
that's not what he meant. Hedidn't. He didn't mean that it was
We're in a different phase. Justsaid it. We're in a different phase,
just said it. But um,with the pandemic happening, we did
have to shift everything. So nowwe're in this weird space where we don't
(14:13):
know what anything is supposed to looklike, so we have to shape what
it looks like. And so Iyes, and that mag is being taken
and it feels good because I'm like, Hey, this is going to make
my job easier later, which meansthat I can play my switch more from
when I'm working from home. Itsits on my desk. I'm not even
joking. Your work is getting done. That's that's the way I look at
(14:37):
it. If that's it, thework is getting done. You're not wanting
for any tasks to be completed,right, Let me work, hall work,
trust my process. I had to, and it's it's interesting as a
person who is as I don't knowif you're more of a consistent worker or
more of a dynamic worker. Idon't know if we've ever had that conversation.
(15:00):
Explain the difference for me. So, yeah, so how I define
dynamic versus like, um, what'sthe opposite of dynamic? Stagnant or ump?
Okay, while you're looking at up, this is how I look at
it because I don't know, becausemaybe um, maybe um, maybe consistent
(15:26):
is not the word because I amconsistently dynamic. But I need a not
a fast paced, high stress job, but I need a job that is
changing and growing and moving in certaindirections. We have different projects to work
on. There's always something to do, something new to do, not just
something not just new fight, notjust fires to put out, but like
there's new things to build, newthings to look at, um, new
(15:50):
policy changes to implement, new trainingto do. Like there's always something going
on that it's new to do thatI can jump in and do. Yeah.
Some people like going in, doingthe report, completing the report,
sending the report, going home.That's not my work style at all.
(16:11):
Torpid, Torpid t O r PI D slowly to move or act um
yeah. Yeah. Synonyms are inactive, lethargic, quiescent um, sleepy,
sluggish, okay, um, inert. What is inert? Good question,
(16:37):
not being in a state of use, activity, or employment the inert abandoned.
Passive okay, dynamic versus passive.I think passive is passive is probably
better pass Yeah, I'm probably morein the middle. But like when I'm
on campus working, I need tobe moving, like consistently, like I
can't physically or physically physically and justmentally, I need to be jumping around,
(17:03):
like walking around campus and stuff,which I'm realizing more. I think
we talked before about how when Iwas teaching online that was one of the
challenges that I had is that Iwasn't able to use my space the way
that I like to. Like thatis part of the composition that is teaching
for me is using my physical spaceand using that to help tell the story.
(17:25):
So when I'm on campus now withtutoring and in this position that I'm
in, I'm always at the frienddesk, even though I don't like being
at the friendsk. I'm going intopeople's offices and talking to them, walking
around, talking all the tutors andstuff, talking to the students, which
is you probably wouldn't expect that forme, because, like we talked about,
I'm more introverted. I'm learning alot about you in this moment right
(17:47):
now. Yeah. Yeah, butI still need that space to go back
to and then go back to beingmore passive where I can just really sort
of zone out and engage in whateverreports need to be done and stuff.
So I would say probably like asplit between sixty percent dynamics sixty five to
(18:08):
seventy percent dynamic worker, and thenI need the rest of it to be
passive where I can just sit backand recharge. And that goes back to
the introvert type thing where I justneed to if I'm talking with somebody,
even for like thirty minutes or so, I need to be able to go
somewhere by myself and just put itin headphones for fifteen minutes to reground myself.
(18:30):
So but in between, do Ifeel like it's for me? I
just I like the I like beingin dynamic environments because I get to interact
with so many different people and learnso many new things without having to be
the expert on whatever. YEA,so I can find out who's the expert
in fraud, who's the expert atAML, who's the expert on these policies.
(18:53):
I still know these things. Yeah, but if there's somebody who works
at it every single day, I'mgoing to be right because you because I
just I know enough to be dangerous. So the spirit of collaboration. Every
workspace should be a collaborative workspace,even if you're not interacting with the same
people every day, you should.There should be that sense of collaboration where
(19:17):
you can exchange ideas with anybody inany department, even if they're completely unrelated
or seemingly unrelated, because it canspark something. It could be a catalyst
for something that could make the departmentrun better, or like increase sales or
whatever. You guys do increase output. We do quality control reviews. I
know you don't do sales. Iknow that. Yeah, quality control YEA,
(19:41):
increasing quality control output. It's feedbackthat we give to our salespeople.
Increasing you guys give to the Salespeople'syour job, right, because you guys
keep missing this and adding things wherethey don't belong, and they're like,
we go, oh, we'll fixit, Okay, cool, and then
tells what not the busters. ButI'm I'm I'm finding myself um trying to
(20:12):
create dynamic situations and a passive role, and it's like, yeah, it
it. It's like a fire rocket, like a Roman candle. It'll it'll
set off, but then eventually itfizzles out, and I'm just like,
I don't know how much I cando this. So I'm so I'm working
(20:34):
really hard to um work with peopleand trying and let them know, Hey,
this is what I'm passionate about.This is how I feel like things
should happen, especially when there's likesiloed information, because so many, so
many groups end up failing because andthis is let me give the people a
little backstory. So when I firstgot into finance, I was part time
(21:00):
teller, and what I learned veryquickly is that at my branch, there
was one person who knew everything.There were a couple of other people who
knew some things, but there wasonly one person who knew everything. She
unfortunately had a situation where she couldn'tbe at the office for months, and
(21:22):
during that time, I have beenpromoted to full time teller, training to
be a backup teller and a backuplead teller, I should say. And
we were scrambling for a full quartertrying to figure out how things work,
where things go, getting coached multipletimes a quarter by our audit team,
by other managers who were coming inall this other stuff. And I realized,
(21:48):
then, once I get into aleadership position, everybody's going to know
everything. And so when I gotinto my position here, I made sure
that my direct reports knew every thingthat I knew about how to do the
job, and made sure that theygave me process improvement suggestions on a regular
basis to make sure that they werelike in on the job. Well,
(22:11):
when we combined with another group,that group was like, you focus on
one, you focused on two,you focused on three, and we do
not mix everything compartment yes, AndI was just like, so what if
number two like those on maternity lead, or what if number three has to
help her dad, or what ifnumber one decides to leave the company?
(22:37):
Well we would, I said,And this is why I break silos,
because we shouldn't have to scramble afterthey're gone. Everybody should know everything.
And so it took them two tothree months, but they've started to get
on board once they start seeing thefruits of the labor, and they were,
oh my gosh, it's just soexcited about doing it. And now
(23:00):
they're even suggesting more ways to kindof collaborate and share information. And I
was just like, and this iswhat I do it for. But it's
it's been like a a very interestingtransition to see people who were so stuck
in please don't touch anything. Thisis the way it's always been. This
is the way we're going to continueto do it. Um, just get
(23:22):
in where you fit in. AndI'm like, that doesn't work for me.
I'm gonna be straight honest with you, that's not gonna work for me
because I don't know how your businesslines function. I don't know how you
all resolve issues or how you allreport issues or No, that's that's not
gonna work for me. And whenI explained to them why I'm so passionate
(23:45):
about breaking silos, they were like, oh my gosh, I don't think
I just we just knew that thisperson wasn't the person, and we just
gave them all the things to do. We didn't think about, you know,
if they're I mean, because ifthey're going, we can kind of
step in, kind of do this, and I was like, no,
it'd be good if we had twoto three people trained on how to do
this thing without having it all fallon one person. Yeah, that's that's
(24:08):
a lot. And then that personmay feel like, oh, I can't
ever take a long vacation or Ican't do this blah blah blah and so
um and I don't me personally,I don't feel like that because there's three
people who know how to do myjob. So I'm just like listen,
I'm going yes, yes. Sofor the summer and last month I worked
(24:33):
with the managers really really hard tomake sure that we could get the trainings
going and we can get everything moving. Um, so I can take a
two week vacation because I waited tothe end of the year to try to
use the fall my vacation on accident, I only took vacation in March in
July, and I was it doesn'troll over. So I had to stack
(24:56):
them bad boys. I was like, who so they paid or anything or
just gone. You use it tolose it, Yeah, use it to
lose it. And since I boughta week, I have to use all
of it. So I just likelook through the calendar, was like randomly
like this day, okay, thesetwo days this week, and this week,
(25:22):
that day, and then this week, and I think I'm good.
I feel like there is one moreday that I did not put in there.
But I'll be fine if I loseit. It's fine, Yeah,
because I was. I was,Oh, I was literally scrambling for I
think I had to I had toschedule eighteen days a vacation. Oh my
goodness. Yeah, well, don'tlet that happen again. No, next
(25:49):
year, I have a better planof how I'm going to do it so
that I'm taking at least two daysoff every month. So um, so
I'm not waiting to the end ofthe year. But I think it kind
of works out. But I thinkI was more focused in on the transition
and then I wanted to have somestability when I moved here, so going
(26:11):
to work brought me that stability.Now things are too stable, which,
yeah, it's not stable. Ithink things are kind of getting stagged at
yeah, And I think that stagnationis what's giving me. Uh it's not
(26:33):
putting me in like fight or flightmode, but is making me question my
next steps. So I'm glad thatI came here and all that kind of
stuff, and I'm glad that Ihad the opportunities that I've had, especially
like being introduced to so many differentpeople. But um, it's that I
(26:56):
missed the familiarity. Even though Iknow Charlotte is not home, Texas is
not home in places I lived inTexas and stuff like that. Virginia absolutely
not home, but Virginia was,oh gosh, not even close. But
I feel like there was so muchfamiliarity around it in around those places that
(27:18):
I lived. Um, and itwas pre panic. Well Charlotte was mid
a pandemic, but yeah, butstill even pre pandemic, Like there was
familiarity with you know, catching thetrain to work, meeting so many different
people, getting to be involved indifferent meetings, going to different events and
all that kind of stuff, andactually building community around me. And that
(27:42):
was so weird. So you're you'rejust itching. Sorry that couldn't have sunpernize.
There was no signal or anything.Was that your left ear? No?
Right? Well that okay, yeah, because it was my right my
right ear, It is just rightjust right in there is itching. Um,
let's talking about me. Let's golike and I just liked, I
(28:03):
have literally on my lights on.There's no smile people, they don't do
that. Okay, it was itwas ts, why are you? Why
are you like this? She's behindno no no no no no no.
But but yeah, there's a familiaritywith how things were set up before and
(28:26):
just being able to have a um, like when we moved or when you
moved. We I didn't move ityou moved when you made the choice to
go down dirty South, Um,when you moved to Virginia. Even when
you were yeah, Texas, Virginiaand Charlotte, you were pretty consistent with
like interacting with your co workers andstuff and building a community with them,
(28:51):
even even with your neighbors and um, even those neighbors across the hall.
Um. Oh that's another story foranother timee. But but with you were
able to build different things and godifferent places, but you weren't sort of
locked in in a sense. Yeah, with like just that um area that
(29:18):
you're in in Seattle and then justbeing like just going to the places in
fairly close proximity. That was ahard weird wow. Um, I don't
know why that whistled okay, allright, UM, I don't think I've
ever heard anyone whistle on the fI wasn know why that just happened.
It's like some weird emphatic phatic pointthat you were making right there. I
don't think I'll be able to doit again. Um. But yet you
(29:42):
didn't have like that proximity or youhad more of a um what was it?
You were able to get out andjust go to different places. You
weren't just stuck, not stuck,but you weren't beholden to the transit line.
True. True. I feel likeright now it's more of not having
(30:03):
the option to drive. Like Ican't get what is it called the gig
cars. I can't get one ofthose. I can't get an uber a
lift or whatever. But I'm justthinking about how a couple of people who
are who live like north of hereor even south, and I'm just like,
oh, you know, please letme know where's a good place to
(30:25):
meet, like in the middle orwhatever, because I'm not driving, But
I can't like just take the driveup to explore new places of where they
are. So while some people mayhave been accurate in their words that they
(30:47):
said about where I would be insix months. I feel like the accuracy
is about eighty percent. It's notall the way true because I don't hate
walking. I don't hate taking thebus, I don't hate taking the train.
It's just not having not having theoption of driving because I'm like,
oh, you know, I can'tI can even when I'm walking, and
(31:11):
I'm like, oh, i can'tget any Like even on Sunday, I
was like, the meat market isclosed, the butcher is not here.
Yeah, the butcher is not hereon Sundays, and I keep forgetting that.
For the last three Sundays, I'veforgotten that, And so I'm like,
Okay, the closest place that hasLAMB is like Safeway or International District.
(31:37):
Safeway is about thirty minutes away walking. International District is about fifteen minutes
away on the train. And Iwas like, if I was driving,
I would just drive down or upto wherever it is. But since I'm
walking, I'm like having to keepin mind what I'm carrying, what I'm
getting and things like that, andso it's just like I have to make
better decisions about what I'm doing.So, um, it's better decisions or
(32:02):
is it just more intentional choices behindeverything you're doing. Yeah, it's hard
to be spontaneous. Yeah, becauseit's not like you're making bad choices.
Yeah like that. It's not likebetter decisions. It's just you have to
be extremely mindful of Okay, thisis what my not even limited limitations you
(32:22):
have. These are limitations that I'mworking with. So I have to make
all these adjustments that it's not yourfirst choice to make these adjustments. So
I get where you're coming from.Where. It's not this it's a choice
thing. It's a psychological thing.If the car was there, if the
car was parked, and you justsaid, hey, no I don't feel
like driving. I'm a walk.Oh I can't get that because I decided
(32:42):
to walk. It's like I didn't. I'm not getting this because I can't.
I don't have the means to takeat home. It's right, it's
a it's a whole different type ofmindset with it. It's not I'm trying
to I'm really I really am tryingto do better because of finding myself in
this space where naturally I am anextrovert. Naturally I am rejuvenated when I
(33:06):
am around people. Went out tobrunch on Saturday morning and then Saturday night
went to go see a smile.You know, a lot of I don't
know why I did that because eithernight, Yeah I didn't I tell you
that light was on bright, andthen I had to like turn it down
to make sure that it wasn't goingto be too bright for me to sleep.
(33:30):
That was a lot so but Ifeel like and then when I heard
the light click off, that's whenI was like in the dark, real
dark now. And so when y'alllisten, for those of you who are
my horror movie fans, um,make sure the people in your life,
whether they are a spouse, apartner, a sibling, a family member,
(33:54):
friend, whoever they are, makesure they know the horror movie rules.
There's no way that you should becomfortable going to sleep in the dark
with all the doors open. Ijust I don't know why I have to
(34:15):
keep saying that, just having thatconversation of just like, why why are
all the doors open? Why?Why are the doors open? I feel
like good for house fires if yousleep with your door closed. Apparently,
huh it's good for house fires,Like we're not good for house fires.
(34:37):
If a house fire were to breakout, and your doors closed. This
have a chance that your room burneddown. I assuming the fire didn't start
in your room, just but Ijust feel like because even my even um
sometimes when nieces and nephews will leavetheir doors doors like cracked. What do
(34:58):
you do? What are you doing? Who are you on? You're cracked?
Why are you? Why are youwhy? Well, I mean it's
not latched close, but it's pushedto where if it could close all the
way. But I don't know.I have this thing about like I don't
want my door to be like latchedclose if I'm sleeping. I don't know
why. I've always been like that. See are you gonna mess around?
(35:22):
I have somebody standing over you inthe middle of the night. I know,
wouldn't it be fun? Wow,I'm not sleeping tonight, Chica something?
Oh my god. I literally justhad a visual visual if her just
standing over with looking through her eyebrowslike this. Yeah, Like why why
is every picture she's looking like?I don't I don't know who. I
(35:43):
just want to take something out tobe a part of my life. Well,
if I'm around, Chica, something'sgonna be around. It's just a
sacrifice. It's just a sacrifice.You're gonna have to You're gonna have to.
No, No, But yeah,I feel like getting back to the
topic, I feel like, yeah, I feel like there are like I'm
(36:09):
an extremely extroverted person. I reallyenjoy being around people, you know,
going to brunch, you know,hanging out with my friends and things like
that, being with my family inperson. Like in person social situations really
just like rejuvenate me and give meso much energy. I'm more creative,
(36:29):
I'm more focused, way less stressed, social anxiety gone, all that kind
of stuff. But I feel likebecause of the experiences that I've had over
these last seven or eight years,I have built up habits that create isolation,
and I'm just like, I'm tryingto learn how to break those habits.
(36:53):
But I got used to going tothe movie theater about myself, going
bulling by myself, trying different activitiesby myself, and people are like,
oh, no, it's not byyourself, it's with yourself. I'm by
myself person. Just stop with thestop with the semantics. But you know,
whether I'm going to the water,taking a trip, or whatever,
I tend to not wait for otherpeople to do that, which creates uh,
(37:19):
which is kind of like the perfectenvironment for isolation because you're not you're
not while you're not dependent on doingit with a group of people or even
another person, because you want tohave the experience regardless. Um, I
just feel like sometimes it's just easierto do it by myself as opposed to
(37:40):
waiting for another person to tom,oh, yeah, you know, do
you want to go bowling? Iactually don't worry about I going on myself,
and so I think that really addsanother layer of the of of hurdles
trying to build a community. AndI've only been here for like five or
(38:05):
six months, so I'm trying togive myself kind of space and grace to
to get adjusted to my physical environmentand try to build on in my social
emotional environment so that I have morepeople. But those of you who move,
I feel like the adventure in meis a more isolated person. But
(38:28):
there is a yearning for community anda yearning for stability, groundedness. And
what's the other word that I'm lookingfor, not stagnation, consistency. Well,
(38:52):
I'm consistently an adventurer, consistently practicingactivities that you isolate a little bit.
So I'm just I just think thatI I since I do want to
build that community, and I dowant to have that stability of in the
(39:12):
groundedness of being like, no,this is my village, just my people,
all that kind of stuff. I'mtrying to do a little bit better
with that and trying to break thosehabits that have reinforced the isolation in my
space. So but then I'm alsobeing very careful though about like who I
allow to go inside everybody in allwill anneally right, there's a lot of
(39:37):
like brunches for like specific It's like, oh, single people between the height
of five two and six three whocrochet on a Thursday night, why don't
we go get like Represido tequila andtalk about the Game of Thrones House of
(39:58):
Dragon. I'm like, why isit so specific? That's when you jump
in you'd be like, yeah,I don't know what any of these things
are, but I crochet, butI don't talk about it with any of
these criteria convinced me to watch Gameof Thrones, spend this out and kind
of trying to convince me to watchit. I watched it already. I'm
(40:21):
not one of those weirdos who haven't. I'm a weirdo. I guess who
hasn't watched it. But people wereso disappointed. Podcast is over. I
feel like people were so disappointed seasoneight. It kind of ruins, like,
but it didn't happen. A lotof people say that fans really really
believe that season eight didn't happen,but I feel like it's not a belief,
(40:45):
it's a conviction. By the way, I've been like having that shock
of a conviction on that show.It must not be that No, just
that one. It's literally that oneseason. And honestly, the season didn't
start off terribly maybe like the firstshoot three episodes were okay, and for
(41:06):
some reason things just really just wentleft. And I don't understand how it
happened. I still can't rab myhead around it. I'm not gonna try
to make sense of it right nowbecause in my conviction it actually it never
happened. But it's a fever dream. I don't understand why that fever dream
happened. I have I have aI have a good question for you before
(41:27):
we end this. Okay, howwould you because you've seen this movie,
I know you have, how wouldyou pitch the hand that Rocks the Cradle.
How would you convince someone to watchthat movie who hasn't seen it.
I honestly don't think I could convincesomebody who hasn't seen it to watch it.
(41:52):
There's a lot to unpack in thatmovie. You have Winston. That
was the first one. I thoughtit too. Ye Winston. Um,
she really hit him? She reallyshe really did, like hit him with
a crowbar. Yes, she hadto. Um. You have the woman
breastfeeding somebody else's baby. You havethe doctor sexually saw things patients. There
(42:15):
were just a lot. It wasa lot going on. I don't think
that I could tell somebody, hey, you should watch this movie. I
would probably just show them the trailerand just be like, hey, look
at this. The trailer is sonineties though, Like I just watched it
because I was like, I waslike, oh, it's a good It's
(42:37):
like this is a good white peopledrama. Like it's it's pretty good.
And he was not a drama.For one thing. It's a thriller.
Is it a thriller? I haven't. I thought a bit more as like
a drama. That is a lifetimemovie. Is it is a lifetime movie?
Yes, all those movies from theninetime movies, because even maybe it's
(42:58):
a lifetime movie listen, and evenBehind Enemy Lions, I was just like,
yeah, I feel like they allhave that same formula. I like
that movie Behind Enemy Lines. Ihave not watched it. I watched it.
I need to watch the nineties trailersbecause I just can't. The nineties
trailer makes me not want to watchit. Yeah, the nineties trailers actually
(43:20):
weren't that good m like at all. No, Like, I feel like
if I went back and watched DoubleJeopardy trailer, I would probably think,
oh, this movie would be reallystupid. Double Jeopardy is one of my
favorite nineties movies, even though Ithink it may be watched the trailers for
that movie. I literally just clickedon it to to no no no it
came on TV. Yeah, Ilove it. I actually yeah Jones,
(43:42):
Yeah, yeah, she's your TommyLee Jones and then um yeah her husband
and stuff was in it. Ilove that movie. Yeah, nin ninety
nine. That was a good Itwas a good movie though. Yeah that
um was the other one, AnEye for an Eye. I think that
was the one with Sally Field rightwhere her husband or where a daughter got
killed and then the guy got offon a technicality. Hold on, wait
(44:07):
a minute, Yeah that movie wasI don't know because I'm thinking it doesn't
say it work every mind. That'sa completely different movie. That's pretty murphy.
Um wait, didn't ye ninety sixSally Field? Right? Yeah?
Oh my gosh, the guy withthe cheek bones keep for sub doing.
No Ed Harris, Oh yeah,cheon doesn't have cheek bones like that.
(44:31):
No, that's what I was thinkingwhen I um, when you said,
I'm like, no, but Iforgot Ed Harris was in it. I
thought you were talking about the otherstar. No, I haven't seen this
movie. Actually, that's a goodmovie. It's a good nineties movie.
Sally Field is always in distress.I love Sally Field. She's she's she's
(44:51):
always Wait with Sally Field. Theone in the movie who said, um
in the movie with the abuse thatwhere she was being abused by her child,
and she was like, you're talkingabout dangerous child. Dangerous child?
Yeah? That Like like I'm watchinga movie like, okay, I know
(45:12):
this, say hold on, letme fast forward this because this is that
this is real. Oh my gosh, And I'm just like, yeah,
I can't remember, I can't rememberthe whole movie. I just remember her
going to the library to do research, and every time she put in abused
by a child, that said childabuse, and she's like, no,
I'm the one being abused and peopleare looking at her crazy, and I'm
(45:34):
just like, you're talking to thewrong people. Call the girl. If
you don't right, if you don'tget yourself some self defense classes, get
you a belt, get you astrap, get you something, because there's
no way as an adult that you'reafraid to defend yourself against a child,
against a human being that you pushedout of your own body. She was
going through it with that boy,couldn't be me, and like we would
(45:59):
have squared that. They want,oh you're feeling froggy. Oh you feel
like you don't have to be here? Yeah? Absolutely, I will call
the police and let them know thatyou want to be emancipated and you can
go ahead and sign the paperwork andlive your own life like you you think
you can make it out there?Absolutely, But if you have zero times
to raise upon me as a child, like there, you you have zero?
(46:22):
Do you think you want to doit? Like he was beating on
the whole family though the mom brother. I think the dad had moved out
right, the dad wasn't in theirlives, And I was like, m
the dad wasn't believing them either.Mom, No, because the child,
the child was like a narcissistic psychopathor something. Child was nissist. I'm
just like, nah, this couldn'tbe me dangerous. Just now, I
(46:46):
got to watch that movie again tofind out, like I do, like
I just I couldn't believe that wasthe real thing. I haven't seen it
since I think I was still livingin Hercules. Yeah that was early two
thousands. It's time. It's timefor you to rewatch it. I can't
rewatch it again. Yeah, Ijust ho lord. Yeah, but hopefully,
(47:13):
um, hopefully I get some balance. I feel like it's just the
practice of isolating myself that is keepingme from going forth and conquering. Yeah,
and it's just breaking those habits thatyou like you said, you realize
that there are habits, so it'llbe easier to not easier because they're not
personality. Yeah, at least you'remindful of them, so you'll be able
(47:37):
to intervene on them, hopefully hopefullyideally, Uh yeah, but go ahead
and plug plug, plug away.I would just JJ new JJ underscore almost
messed up, right, at leastI didn't say under dash, JJ underscore
Newberry, Um, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. I actually posted a
(48:00):
TikTok video no way, Yeah,little Misty. I got to look it
up. It's an old video ofa little Misty. You've seen it before,
Misty love. Yeah, just hermoving a little ball around needs um.
So yeah, poster happening. There'llbe more posts on TikTok happening.
(48:23):
Yeah. She was just a tinytype there, so little. Yeah,
she still had the same teeth witha little snarl. Um. But yeah,
follow me JJ underscore Newberry all thesocials, all the socials. Yeah,
after you follow Jason, make sureto follow us. Take a Stace
pot, Take a stace Pod onFacebook, Instagram and Twitter. Again.
(48:45):
Shout out to Baylor for my shirtat Baylorism on Instagram. Shout out to
Black Horror Humor. That is theother show that I do with Baylor and
Drake from Everything Culture where these blackpeople give our perspective one different horror movies
we may be reviewing Smile. I'llsee if my co hosts have watched it.
Yeah, because I have a lotof thoughts about that movie that will
(49:07):
continue on that pace. But thanksagain for tuning in. Please make sure
to follow us on all the socialsincluding YouTube, TikTok, Facebook, Instagram,
Twitter, yeah, all those goodstuff. Take a space pod.
That's take a space p o D. Thank you again so much for tuning
in. Please let us know,let us know your thoughts, like how
(49:27):
are it what habits have you createdthat have gone against your personality? Or
how are you coping at work?Are you a more passive person or dynamic
person? We have some really goodconversations today, all right, So yeah
that you all have a great weekand we'll see you next time. Bye bye,
It is. What is something thatyou've done recently that you've regretted? Oh
M, lightweight regret getting both vaccineson the same day. I don't know,
(00:21):
honestly. It's not the fact thatI got them on the same day.
It's more so that I did iton the same day and then worked
the day after. I would stillget them on the same day, but
I would make sure I would doit on either Friday or take the day
off so you can recover. Yeah, so I could just be completely wiped
out. That was an easy one, actually, Like that's literally the only
(00:44):
regret that stands out at this pointrecently, and it's just the scheduling.
I'm okay with getting both of themon the same day, flu shot and
booster same day, one day ofcrap. I'm good with it, But
don't work after you do that,because there are better choices to make.
I feel like this PSA should havegone out before you've done it, so
(01:08):
that this PSA should have been recordedin last week's episode. So that's neither
here nor there or anywhere. Whatabout you with something recently? So Saturday,
I went to go see smile mUm okay storyline, give it a
(01:34):
c minus. But the jump scareswas it like loud jump scares where it
was clearly just the sound played intoNo, it was like actual. It
wasn't like okay, I shouldn't callthem jump scares. It thrills like the
actual scary moments were. It wasn'tjust a jump scare, like actually something
there. Um. It wasn't likesound build up, sound build up,
(01:57):
and then the refrigerator door closed andthere's nothing. It would literally like ominous
music would slowly start playing, butas you're looking in the dark, a
figure starts to form, but youcan't really tell what it is until it
really starts to take shore. Ihave slept with the light on every day,
really, and I have only watchedcartoons. There's someone behind you,
(02:21):
silent, you know, I'm justplaying and I'm just like it. So
the movie itself is like one ofmy worst fears realized because she couldn't tell
the difference between her hallucinations and reality, so she would do the whole thing
and act out the whole thing,and then something would happen where she realized
(02:43):
I was never on the phone,or this person was never here, or
I never left the office, orI never did, and I was just
like yo. And while yeah,it was predictable as a predictable horror movie,
but the scars they had. Iwas a good majority of the film,
(03:04):
I was looking at the corner ofthe screen just to make sure that
when I panned back it was goodspoiler. Um the good thing was the
black guy didn't die, so yeah, um yeah, I was worried about
his safety for the first forty minutesof the movie. But um yeah,
I'm glad that I'm glad that hemade it. We deserved that he made
(03:29):
it. He was only like hewas a little black character. Cal Penn
was in it, really yeah,but not like as much. Um wait
is that his name? Harold andKumar? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
he was in it. It's interestingto see him as a more distinguished,
older gentleman Like that was interesting forme. But um yeah, that movie
(03:54):
it was good scary, and Imean, okay, it was. It
looks like one of those movies likethe trailer looks like one of those things
where it's like when I was younger, I would be really excited to see
it and then I would be disappointedby it. But now that makes me
a little more excited. To seeit. Yeah, I knew I shouldn't
(04:15):
have seen it because I knew thisis so weird. I knew I shouldn't
have seen it because the trailer picturewas haunting me for like a few days.
See that's how I want you tofeel about Tika Sumter, Like I
wanted, I don't want to thinkevery corner that you're going to think every
(04:38):
single corner is she there? What'sthat in the shadow over there? Is
that? Is that her? Isshe looking at? If I just slicked
just her forehead, she would shatterin a million pieces because it's just she
would like well maybe eggshells, notporcelain, but like something like glued together.
(05:00):
That was just you put the youput the you put the lotion on
its skin like yeah, but notno. They had a huge cio or
China cabinet, but it was justlike China. It wasn't like, uh,
(05:23):
different kind of nick knacks and stuff. Yeah yeah, yeah, it
was just different kind of glasses andum, like the translucent china plates and
stuff, so you know they're realum and some of the like the like
the heavier plates and like the theThanksgiving a Christmas wear and all that kind
of stuff, Yeah, yeah,especially occasion stuff. Yeah. But if
(05:45):
you're going to see Smile, andI'm a horror movie enthusiast, like Black
Horror Humor podcast representing UM shout outto Drake and Baylor and all of us
had Black Horror Humor UM watch horrormovies a lot, but this one is
the first one in a while thatgot me. And I was like,
I was just like, I shouldI shouldn't. I shouldn't have seen Like
my my place has no dark corners. Now sometimes I could leave the hall
(06:09):
light off and then just walk back. No, all the lights are on.
Nope, I don't even And I'mlike and people are like, oh,
you know, I use your flashno flashlight? What why? N
no what? No, no,no, no, So just be aware.
Um, Smile did get me,not because the storyline was so bad,
(06:32):
but they did send it up fora sequel, but it was just
like the actual horror of not knowingwhat's real, and that like added way
too many layers for me. Butyeah, so if you're going to see
that and that is one of yourthings, be prepared proceed with caution.
(06:55):
Absolutely, But welcome to another episodeto Take a Sace Podcast I'm your hostly
Yeah. Enjoying this week by myco star Jason. Hello, Hello,
Hello Jason. How's it going prettygood? Pretty pretty good? Yeah?
Better after double dosing. I'm feelingI'm feeling great. That was a rough
Friday. Um, A lot ofreally strange stuff happened. A lot of
(07:19):
concerning things happened, not just forme, not just the fever, but
just stuff with work. Um.So I'm not even sure a lot of
the stuff that happened during the day, um really happened. Um. You
know, fever dreams are a thing. So I ended up in my mom's
house, made it there. Um. It was a good weekend. Once
(07:44):
the vaccines kicked in. H gota good, nice clean bill of teeth
help today. So my teeth aredoing great. Oh, it's almost fine.
For my semi annual dental appointment.I need to make that appointment.
You should do that. Get thosechompers checked to make sure they stay.
(08:09):
Yeah, I was speaking of teeth. I was watching somebody eat crab for
the first time, and they gavehim like the um the silver crab like
their video. Yeah, Um,I'm sure they're I feel like they're the
um nutcrackers, like it looks likea nutcracker crab cracker things. Yeah,
(08:31):
yeah, I was like, no, my people are like teeth. We're
just using our teeth because I don'twant our teeth to be weak. We're
gonna eat like. I don't eveneat crab and I know that, but
I guess if you're in public,if you're like, no, you're like
out eating somewhere. No, Istill like, I can't eat crab though,
(08:56):
so sorry. You know, it'sokay, It's actually perfectly fine.
I never I've never really been atit. I enjoy it. I like
crab cakes, but I don't likelike cracking crabs and stuff. Love me,
I love me a good se Ifyou boil and I gotta work to
make sure everything, yes, that'sthe thing is too much work. It's
like, okay, one, ifI have to cook this stuff, why
(09:18):
do I have to put in morework to eat it? And Two if
somebody cooks it for me, whydo I have to put in work to
eat it? That's a part ofthe adventure. I don't want an adventure.
I want a meal. Take thetake the tails off my shrimp.
Oh my gosh. That frustrates me. Why if I'm especially when I'm on
(09:39):
a date. Why are you givingme tail on shrimp? You got to
drink and then you have to likeput it on the side of your bowl
and like a random plate that wasbrought with a saucer on it, I
mean, with a sauce on it. And I'm like, what do you
just for the tail? What doyou take them on? I don't need
them, take them and boil them. You boil them before they get to
(10:00):
me. Shrimp stop? What doyou? What do you? What do
you? What are you doing?I don't need this? No, but
I um but I mean I allsee, because that's the same argument my
aunt uses for some flower seats.She's like, all this work for a
little b seat and keeps the mouthby, keeps me focus on what I'm
doing so that I'm not like,man, I'm hungry flowers mindless task for
(10:22):
me. Yeah, I love eatingsome flower seats. I need to stop
eating. And during meetings, solike a little pinch of a little pinch
of baby like six or seven poppedthem in and somebody said, hey,
Leah, you gotta choose your snackscarefully when you're like when the threat of
(10:45):
being called on looms you have tochoose your snacks very carefully. I feel
like a lot of things that work. I get a passport because I'm the
only one of me, and soI can sound afraid to say anything.
Yeah, like culturally insensitive. Ohmy gosh, that is like because all
of them are like white woman.Yeah they're they're just most of them are
(11:13):
like either on the West Coast orMidwest, must of them or Midwest,
and um, it's it's very differentwhen so I feel like sometimes they handle
me, um a little bit differentlybecause they have to learn the West Coast
chick. I think that's all ofit. But yeah, you don't know.
(11:35):
It's only because you're from the WestCoast. It's weird sometimes when I
yeah, huh, yeah, goahead, you gotta itch in the back
end. Um, it's weird.It's weird when I'm in certain conversations and
I look up to see who's atthe meeting and it's literally like, um,
(11:58):
just like, oh, this isNancy Pelosi or this is um,
I don't know, Nicole Kidman.Oh this is Shirleys thereon, and I'm
like, weird meeting, But okay, I'm the only one up here with
(12:22):
oh man, and I have tolike and and I think what as another
layer to it is for me,I like to work smarter, not harder.
So when I'm like, oh mygosh, we need to do X,
y Z, process improvement all thatother stuff, and they're just like,
ah, We're used to doing thingsthis way. Please don't touch things.
(12:46):
Yeah that thing. That's one thingwith my job that I'm happy about.
Yeah, I'm the only black guythat's like full time, permanent in
my position or am I in thewriting center. But they seem very open
to any suggestion that I make,which actually makes me like slow down with
(13:07):
my suggestions because I don't want togive them everything at once. Yeah,
but I'm like, there's so manydifferent things that we could do to just
streamline what like how we operate everythingso that it would make it easier for
the students, for us and forthe tutors and everything. But a lot
of it is because before I camealong, from what I'm hearing from some
of my co workers, some peoplethat I work with who are more in
(13:31):
charge than others, have been resistancechoosing our words very carefully around this landmine
conversation. They have been very resistanttowards doing things differently because it's just the
way that things have always been done. But I guess part of what plays
into people listening to me more isthat with COVID happening, or the pandemic,
(13:52):
the ongoing pandemic, it's not over. Despite what Joe Biden says,
that's not what he meant. Hedidn't. He didn't mean that it was
We're in a different phase. Justsaid it. We're in a different phase,
just said it. But um,with the pandemic happening, we did
have to shift everything. So nowwe're in this weird space where we don't
(14:13):
know what anything is supposed to looklike, so we have to shape what
it looks like. And so Iyes, and that mag is being taken
and it feels good because I'm like, Hey, this is going to make
my job easier later, which meansthat I can play my switch more from
when I'm working from home. Itsits on my desk. I'm not even
joking. Your work is getting done. That's that's the way I look at
(14:37):
it. If that's it, thework is getting done. You're not wanting
for any tasks to be completed,right, Let me work, hall work,
trust my process. I had to, and it's it's interesting as a
person who is as I don't knowif you're more of a consistent worker or
more of a dynamic worker. Idon't know if we've ever had that conversation.
(15:00):
Explain the difference for me. So, yeah, so how I define
dynamic versus like, um, what'sthe opposite of dynamic? Stagnant or ump?
Okay, while you're looking at up, this is how I look at
it because I don't know, becausemaybe um, maybe um, maybe consistent
(15:26):
is not the word because I amconsistently dynamic. But I need a not
a fast paced, high stress job, but I need a job that is
changing and growing and moving in certaindirections. We have different projects to work
on. There's always something to do, something new to do, not just
something not just new fight, notjust fires to put out, but like
there's new things to build, newthings to look at, um, new
(15:50):
policy changes to implement, new trainingto do. Like there's always something going
on that it's new to do thatI can jump in and do. Yeah.
Some people like going in, doingthe report, completing the report,
sending the report, going home.That's not my work style at all.
(16:11):
Torpid, Torpid t O r PI D slowly to move or act um
yeah. Yeah. Synonyms are inactive, lethargic, quiescent um, sleepy,
sluggish, okay, um, inert. What is inert? Good question,
(16:37):
not being in a state of use, activity, or employment the inert abandoned.
Passive okay, dynamic versus passive.I think passive is passive is probably
better pass Yeah, I'm probably morein the middle. But like when I'm
on campus working, I need tobe moving, like consistently, like I
can't physically or physically physically and justmentally, I need to be jumping around,
(17:03):
like walking around campus and stuff,which I'm realizing more. I think
we talked before about how when Iwas teaching online that was one of the
challenges that I had is that Iwasn't able to use my space the way
that I like to. Like thatis part of the composition that is teaching
for me is using my physical spaceand using that to help tell the story.
(17:25):
So when I'm on campus now withtutoring and in this position that I'm
in, I'm always at the frienddesk, even though I don't like being
at the friendsk. I'm going intopeople's offices and talking to them, walking
around, talking all the tutors andstuff, talking to the students, which
is you probably wouldn't expect that forme, because, like we talked about,
I'm more introverted. I'm learning alot about you in this moment right
(17:47):
now. Yeah. Yeah, butI still need that space to go back
to and then go back to beingmore passive where I can just really sort
of zone out and engage in whateverreports need to be done and stuff.
So I would say probably like asplit between sixty percent dynamics sixty five to
(18:08):
seventy percent dynamic worker, and thenI need the rest of it to be
passive where I can just sit backand recharge. And that goes back to
the introvert type thing where I justneed to if I'm talking with somebody,
even for like thirty minutes or so, I need to be able to go
somewhere by myself and just put itin headphones for fifteen minutes to reground myself.
(18:30):
So but in between, do Ifeel like it's for me? I
just I like the I like beingin dynamic environments because I get to interact
with so many different people and learnso many new things without having to be
the expert on whatever. YEA,so I can find out who's the expert
in fraud, who's the expert atAML, who's the expert on these policies.
(18:53):
I still know these things. Yeah, but if there's somebody who works
at it every single day, I'mgoing to be right because you because I
just I know enough to be dangerous. So the spirit of collaboration. Every
workspace should be a collaborative workspace,even if you're not interacting with the same
people every day, you should.There should be that sense of collaboration where
(19:17):
you can exchange ideas with anybody inany department, even if they're completely unrelated
or seemingly unrelated, because it canspark something. It could be a catalyst
for something that could make the departmentrun better, or like increase sales or
whatever. You guys do increase output. We do quality control reviews. I
know you don't do sales. Iknow that. Yeah, quality control YEA,
(19:41):
increasing quality control output. It's feedbackthat we give to our salespeople.
Increasing you guys give to the Salespeople'syour job, right, because you guys
keep missing this and adding things wherethey don't belong, and they're like,
we go, oh, we'll fixit, Okay, cool, and then
tells what not the busters. ButI'm I'm I'm finding myself um trying to
(20:12):
create dynamic situations and a passive role, and it's like, yeah, it
it. It's like a fire rocket, like a Roman candle. It'll it'll
set off, but then eventually itfizzles out, and I'm just like,
I don't know how much I cando this. So I'm so I'm working
(20:34):
really hard to um work with peopleand trying and let them know, Hey,
this is what I'm passionate about.This is how I feel like things
should happen, especially when there's likesiloed information, because so many, so
many groups end up failing because andthis is let me give the people a
little backstory. So when I firstgot into finance, I was part time
(21:00):
teller, and what I learned veryquickly is that at my branch, there
was one person who knew everything.There were a couple of other people who
knew some things, but there wasonly one person who knew everything. She
unfortunately had a situation where she couldn'tbe at the office for months, and
(21:22):
during that time, I have beenpromoted to full time teller, training to
be a backup teller and a backuplead teller, I should say. And
we were scrambling for a full quartertrying to figure out how things work,
where things go, getting coached multipletimes a quarter by our audit team,
by other managers who were coming inall this other stuff. And I realized,
(21:48):
then, once I get into aleadership position, everybody's going to know
everything. And so when I gotinto my position here, I made sure
that my direct reports knew every thingthat I knew about how to do the
job, and made sure that theygave me process improvement suggestions on a regular
basis to make sure that they werelike in on the job. Well,
(22:11):
when we combined with another group,that group was like, you focus on
one, you focused on two,you focused on three, and we do
not mix everything compartment yes, AndI was just like, so what if
number two like those on maternity lead, or what if number three has to
help her dad, or what ifnumber one decides to leave the company?
(22:37):
Well we would, I said,And this is why I break silos,
because we shouldn't have to scramble afterthey're gone. Everybody should know everything.
And so it took them two tothree months, but they've started to get
on board once they start seeing thefruits of the labor, and they were,
oh my gosh, it's just soexcited about doing it. And now
(23:00):
they're even suggesting more ways to kindof collaborate and share information. And I
was just like, and this iswhat I do it for. But it's
it's been like a a very interestingtransition to see people who were so stuck
in please don't touch anything. Thisis the way it's always been. This
is the way we're going to continueto do it. Um, just get
(23:22):
in where you fit in. AndI'm like, that doesn't work for me.
I'm gonna be straight honest with you, that's not gonna work for me
because I don't know how your businesslines function. I don't know how you
all resolve issues or how you allreport issues or No, that's that's not
gonna work for me. And whenI explained to them why I'm so passionate
(23:45):
about breaking silos, they were like, oh my gosh, I don't think
I just we just knew that thisperson wasn't the person, and we just
gave them all the things to do. We didn't think about, you know,
if they're I mean, because ifthey're going, we can kind of
step in, kind of do this, and I was like, no,
it'd be good if we had twoto three people trained on how to do
this thing without having it all fallon one person. Yeah, that's that's
(24:08):
a lot. And then that personmay feel like, oh, I can't
ever take a long vacation or Ican't do this blah blah blah and so
um and I don't me personally,I don't feel like that because there's three
people who know how to do myjob. So I'm just like listen,
I'm going yes, yes. Sofor the summer and last month I worked
(24:33):
with the managers really really hard tomake sure that we could get the trainings
going and we can get everything moving. Um, so I can take a
two week vacation because I waited tothe end of the year to try to
use the fall my vacation on accident, I only took vacation in March in
July, and I was it doesn'troll over. So I had to stack
(24:56):
them bad boys. I was like, who so they paid or anything or
just gone. You use it tolose it, Yeah, use it to
lose it. And since I boughta week, I have to use all
of it. So I just likelook through the calendar, was like randomly
like this day, okay, thesetwo days this week, and this week,
(25:22):
that day, and then this week, and I think I'm good.
I feel like there is one moreday that I did not put in there.
But I'll be fine if I loseit. It's fine, Yeah,
because I was. I was,Oh, I was literally scrambling for I
think I had to I had toschedule eighteen days a vacation. Oh my
goodness. Yeah, well, don'tlet that happen again. No, next
(25:49):
year, I have a better planof how I'm going to do it so
that I'm taking at least two daysoff every month. So um, so
I'm not waiting to the end ofthe year. But I think it kind
of works out. But I thinkI was more focused in on the transition
and then I wanted to have somestability when I moved here, so going
(26:11):
to work brought me that stability.Now things are too stable, which,
yeah, it's not stable. Ithink things are kind of getting stagged at
yeah, And I think that stagnationis what's giving me. Uh it's not
(26:33):
putting me in like fight or flightmode, but is making me question my
next steps. So I'm glad thatI came here and all that kind of
stuff, and I'm glad that Ihad the opportunities that I've had, especially
like being introduced to so many differentpeople. But um, it's that I
(26:56):
missed the familiarity. Even though Iknow Charlotte is not home, Texas is
not home in places I lived inTexas and stuff like that. Virginia absolutely
not home, but Virginia was,oh gosh, not even close. But
I feel like there was so muchfamiliarity around it in around those places that
(27:18):
I lived. Um, and itwas pre panic. Well Charlotte was mid
a pandemic, but yeah, butstill even pre pandemic, Like there was
familiarity with you know, catching thetrain to work, meeting so many different
people, getting to be involved indifferent meetings, going to different events and
all that kind of stuff, andactually building community around me. And that
(27:42):
was so weird. So you're you'rejust itching. Sorry that couldn't have sunpernize.
There was no signal or anything.Was that your left ear? No?
Right? Well that okay, yeah, because it was my right my
right ear, It is just rightjust right in there is itching. Um,
let's talking about me. Let's golike and I just liked, I
(28:03):
have literally on my lights on.There's no smile people, they don't do
that. Okay, it was itwas ts, why are you? Why
are you like this? She's behindno no no no no no no.
But but yeah, there's a familiaritywith how things were set up before and
(28:26):
just being able to have a um, like when we moved or when you
moved. We I didn't move ityou moved when you made the choice to
go down dirty South, Um,when you moved to Virginia. Even when
you were yeah, Texas, Virginiaand Charlotte, you were pretty consistent with
like interacting with your co workers andstuff and building a community with them,
(28:51):
even even with your neighbors and um, even those neighbors across the hall.
Um. Oh that's another story foranother timee. But but with you were
able to build different things and godifferent places, but you weren't sort of
locked in in a sense. Yeah, with like just that um area that
(29:18):
you're in in Seattle and then justbeing like just going to the places in
fairly close proximity. That was ahard weird wow. Um, I don't
know why that whistled okay, allright, UM, I don't think I've
ever heard anyone whistle on the fI wasn know why that just happened.
It's like some weird emphatic phatic pointthat you were making right there. I
don't think I'll be able to doit again. Um. But yet you
(29:42):
didn't have like that proximity or youhad more of a um what was it?
You were able to get out andjust go to different places. You
weren't just stuck, not stuck,but you weren't beholden to the transit line.
True. True. I feel likeright now it's more of not having
(30:03):
the option to drive. Like Ican't get what is it called the gig
cars. I can't get one ofthose. I can't get an uber a
lift or whatever. But I'm justthinking about how a couple of people who
are who live like north of hereor even south, and I'm just like,
oh, you know, please letme know where's a good place to
(30:25):
meet, like in the middle orwhatever, because I'm not driving, But
I can't like just take the driveup to explore new places of where they
are. So while some people mayhave been accurate in their words that they
(30:47):
said about where I would be insix months. I feel like the accuracy
is about eighty percent. It's notall the way true because I don't hate
walking. I don't hate taking thebus, I don't hate taking the train.
It's just not having not having theoption of driving because I'm like,
oh, you know, I can'tI can even when I'm walking, and
(31:11):
I'm like, oh, i can'tget any Like even on Sunday, I
was like, the meat market isclosed, the butcher is not here.
Yeah, the butcher is not hereon Sundays, and I keep forgetting that.
For the last three Sundays, I'veforgotten that, And so I'm like,
Okay, the closest place that hasLAMB is like Safeway or International District.
(31:37):
Safeway is about thirty minutes away walking. International District is about fifteen minutes
away on the train. And Iwas like, if I was driving,
I would just drive down or upto wherever it is. But since I'm
walking, I'm like having to keepin mind what I'm carrying, what I'm
getting and things like that, andso it's just like I have to make
better decisions about what I'm doing.So, um, it's better decisions or
(32:02):
is it just more intentional choices behindeverything you're doing. Yeah, it's hard
to be spontaneous. Yeah, becauseit's not like you're making bad choices.
Yeah like that. It's not likebetter decisions. It's just you have to
be extremely mindful of Okay, thisis what my not even limited limitations you
(32:22):
have. These are limitations that I'mworking with. So I have to make
all these adjustments that it's not yourfirst choice to make these adjustments. So
I get where you're coming from.Where. It's not this it's a choice
thing. It's a psychological thing.If the car was there, if the
car was parked, and you justsaid, hey, no I don't feel
like driving. I'm a walk.Oh I can't get that because I decided
(32:42):
to walk. It's like I didn't. I'm not getting this because I can't.
I don't have the means to takeat home. It's right, it's
a it's a whole different type ofmindset with it. It's not I'm trying
to I'm really I really am tryingto do better because of finding myself in
this space where naturally I am anextrovert. Naturally I am rejuvenated when I
(33:06):
am around people. Went out tobrunch on Saturday morning and then Saturday night
went to go see a smile.You know, a lot of I don't
know why I did that because eithernight, Yeah I didn't I tell you
that light was on bright, andthen I had to like turn it down
to make sure that it wasn't goingto be too bright for me to sleep.
(33:30):
That was a lot so but Ifeel like and then when I heard
the light click off, that's whenI was like in the dark, real
dark now. And so when y'alllisten, for those of you who are
my horror movie fans, um,make sure the people in your life,
whether they are a spouse, apartner, a sibling, a family member,
(33:54):
friend, whoever they are, makesure they know the horror movie rules.
There's no way that you should becomfortable going to sleep in the dark
with all the doors open. Ijust I don't know why I have to
(34:15):
keep saying that, just having thatconversation of just like, why why are
all the doors open? Why?Why are the doors open? I feel
like good for house fires if yousleep with your door closed. Apparently,
huh it's good for house fires,Like we're not good for house fires.
(34:37):
If a house fire were to breakout, and your doors closed. This
have a chance that your room burneddown. I assuming the fire didn't start
in your room, just but Ijust feel like because even my even um
sometimes when nieces and nephews will leavetheir doors doors like cracked. What do
(34:58):
you do? What are you doing? Who are you on? You're cracked?
Why are you? Why are youwhy? Well, I mean it's
not latched close, but it's pushedto where if it could close all the
way. But I don't know.I have this thing about like I don't
want my door to be like latchedclose if I'm sleeping. I don't know
why. I've always been like that. See are you gonna mess around?
(35:22):
I have somebody standing over you inthe middle of the night. I know,
wouldn't it be fun? Wow,I'm not sleeping tonight, Chica something?
Oh my god. I literally justhad a visual visual if her just
standing over with looking through her eyebrowslike this. Yeah, Like why why
is every picture she's looking like?I don't I don't know who. I
(35:43):
just want to take something out tobe a part of my life. Well,
if I'm around, Chica, something'sgonna be around. It's just a
sacrifice. It's just a sacrifice.You're gonna have to You're gonna have to.
No, No, But yeah,I feel like getting back to the
topic, I feel like, yeah, I feel like there are like I'm
(36:09):
an extremely extroverted person. I reallyenjoy being around people, you know,
going to brunch, you know,hanging out with my friends and things like
that, being with my family inperson. Like in person social situations really
just like rejuvenate me and give meso much energy. I'm more creative,
(36:29):
I'm more focused, way less stressed, social anxiety gone, all that kind
of stuff. But I feel likebecause of the experiences that I've had over
these last seven or eight years,I have built up habits that create isolation,
and I'm just like, I'm tryingto learn how to break those habits.
(36:53):
But I got used to going tothe movie theater about myself, going
bulling by myself, trying different activitiesby myself, and people are like,
oh, no, it's not byyourself, it's with yourself. I'm by
myself person. Just stop with thestop with the semantics. But you know,
whether I'm going to the water,taking a trip, or whatever,
I tend to not wait for otherpeople to do that, which creates uh,
(37:19):
which is kind of like the perfectenvironment for isolation because you're not you're
not while you're not dependent on doingit with a group of people or even
another person, because you want tohave the experience regardless. Um, I
just feel like sometimes it's just easierto do it by myself as opposed to
(37:40):
waiting for another person to tom,oh, yeah, you know, do
you want to go bowling? Iactually don't worry about I going on myself,
and so I think that really addsanother layer of the of of hurdles
trying to build a community. AndI've only been here for like five or
(38:05):
six months, so I'm trying togive myself kind of space and grace to
to get adjusted to my physical environmentand try to build on in my social
emotional environment so that I have morepeople. But those of you who move,
I feel like the adventure in meis a more isolated person. But
(38:28):
there is a yearning for community anda yearning for stability, groundedness. And
what's the other word that I'm lookingfor, not stagnation, consistency. Well,
(38:52):
I'm consistently an adventurer, consistently practicingactivities that you isolate a little bit.
So I'm just I just think thatI I since I do want to
build that community, and I dowant to have that stability of in the
(39:12):
groundedness of being like, no,this is my village, just my people,
all that kind of stuff. I'mtrying to do a little bit better
with that and trying to break thosehabits that have reinforced the isolation in my
space. So but then I'm alsobeing very careful though about like who I
allow to go inside everybody in allwill anneally right, there's a lot of
(39:37):
like brunches for like specific It's like, oh, single people between the height
of five two and six three whocrochet on a Thursday night, why don't
we go get like Represido tequila andtalk about the Game of Thrones House of
(39:58):
Dragon. I'm like, why isit so specific? That's when you jump
in you'd be like, yeah,I don't know what any of these things
are, but I crochet, butI don't talk about it with any of
these criteria convinced me to watch Gameof Thrones, spend this out and kind
of trying to convince me to watchit. I watched it already. I'm
(40:21):
not one of those weirdos who haven't. I'm a weirdo. I guess who
hasn't watched it. But people wereso disappointed. Podcast is over. I
feel like people were so disappointed seasoneight. It kind of ruins, like,
but it didn't happen. A lotof people say that fans really really
believe that season eight didn't happen,but I feel like it's not a belief,
(40:45):
it's a conviction. By the way, I've been like having that shock
of a conviction on that show.It must not be that No, just
that one. It's literally that oneseason. And honestly, the season didn't
start off terribly maybe like the firstshoot three episodes were okay, and for
(41:06):
some reason things just really just wentleft. And I don't understand how it
happened. I still can't rab myhead around it. I'm not gonna try
to make sense of it right nowbecause in my conviction it actually it never
happened. But it's a fever dream. I don't understand why that fever dream
happened. I have I have aI have a good question for you before
(41:27):
we end this. Okay, howwould you because you've seen this movie,
I know you have, how wouldyou pitch the hand that Rocks the Cradle.
How would you convince someone to watchthat movie who hasn't seen it.
I honestly don't think I could convincesomebody who hasn't seen it to watch it.
(41:52):
There's a lot to unpack in thatmovie. You have Winston. That
was the first one. I thoughtit too. Ye Winston. Um,
she really hit him? She reallyshe really did, like hit him with
a crowbar. Yes, she hadto. Um. You have the woman
breastfeeding somebody else's baby. You havethe doctor sexually saw things patients. There
(42:15):
were just a lot. It wasa lot going on. I don't think
that I could tell somebody, hey, you should watch this movie. I
would probably just show them the trailerand just be like, hey, look
at this. The trailer is sonineties though, Like I just watched it
because I was like, I waslike, oh, it's a good It's
(42:37):
like this is a good white peopledrama. Like it's it's pretty good.
And he was not a drama.For one thing. It's a thriller.
Is it a thriller? I haven't. I thought a bit more as like
a drama. That is a lifetimemovie. Is it is a lifetime movie?
Yes, all those movies from theninetime movies, because even maybe it's
(42:58):
a lifetime movie listen, and evenBehind Enemy Lions, I was just like,
yeah, I feel like they allhave that same formula. I like
that movie Behind Enemy Lines. Ihave not watched it. I watched it.
I need to watch the nineties trailersbecause I just can't. The nineties
trailer makes me not want to watchit. Yeah, the nineties trailers actually
(43:20):
weren't that good m like at all. No, Like, I feel like
if I went back and watched DoubleJeopardy trailer, I would probably think,
oh, this movie would be reallystupid. Double Jeopardy is one of my
favorite nineties movies, even though Ithink it may be watched the trailers for
that movie. I literally just clickedon it to to no no no it
came on TV. Yeah, Ilove it. I actually yeah Jones,
(43:42):
Yeah, yeah, she's your TommyLee Jones and then um yeah her husband
and stuff was in it. Ilove that movie. Yeah, nin ninety
nine. That was a good Itwas a good movie though. Yeah that
um was the other one, AnEye for an Eye. I think that
was the one with Sally Field rightwhere her husband or where a daughter got
killed and then the guy got offon a technicality. Hold on, wait
(44:07):
a minute, Yeah that movie wasI don't know because I'm thinking it doesn't
say it work every mind. That'sa completely different movie. That's pretty murphy.
Um wait, didn't ye ninety sixSally Field? Right? Yeah?
Oh my gosh, the guy withthe cheek bones keep for sub doing.
No Ed Harris, Oh yeah,cheon doesn't have cheek bones like that.
(44:31):
No, that's what I was thinkingwhen I um, when you said,
I'm like, no, but Iforgot Ed Harris was in it. I
thought you were talking about the otherstar. No, I haven't seen this
movie. Actually, that's a goodmovie. It's a good nineties movie.
Sally Field is always in distress.I love Sally Field. She's she's she's
(44:51):
always Wait with Sally Field. Theone in the movie who said, um
in the movie with the abuse thatwhere she was being abused by her child,
and she was like, you're talkingabout dangerous child. Dangerous child?
Yeah? That Like like I'm watchinga movie like, okay, I know
(45:12):
this, say hold on, letme fast forward this because this is that
this is real. Oh my gosh, And I'm just like, yeah,
I can't remember, I can't rememberthe whole movie. I just remember her
going to the library to do research, and every time she put in abused
by a child, that said childabuse, and she's like, no,
I'm the one being abused and peopleare looking at her crazy, and I'm
(45:34):
just like, you're talking to thewrong people. Call the girl. If
you don't right, if you don'tget yourself some self defense classes, get
you a belt, get you astrap, get you something, because there's
no way as an adult that you'reafraid to defend yourself against a child,
against a human being that you pushedout of your own body. She was
going through it with that boy,couldn't be me, and like we would
(45:59):
have squared that. They want,oh you're feeling froggy. Oh you feel
like you don't have to be here? Yeah? Absolutely, I will call
the police and let them know thatyou want to be emancipated and you can
go ahead and sign the paperwork andlive your own life like you you think
you can make it out there?Absolutely, But if you have zero times
to raise upon me as a child, like there, you you have zero?
(46:22):
Do you think you want to doit? Like he was beating on
the whole family though the mom brother. I think the dad had moved out
right, the dad wasn't in theirlives, And I was like, m
the dad wasn't believing them either.Mom, No, because the child,
the child was like a narcissistic psychopathor something. Child was nissist. I'm
just like, nah, this couldn'tbe me dangerous. Just now, I
(46:46):
got to watch that movie again tofind out, like I do, like
I just I couldn't believe that wasthe real thing. I haven't seen it
since I think I was still livingin Hercules. Yeah that was early two
thousands. It's time. It's timefor you to rewatch it. I can't
rewatch it again. Yeah, Ijust ho lord. Yeah, but hopefully,
(47:13):
um, hopefully I get some balance. I feel like it's just the
practice of isolating myself that is keepingme from going forth and conquering. Yeah,
and it's just breaking those habits thatyou like you said, you realize
that there are habits, so it'llbe easier to not easier because they're not
personality. Yeah, at least you'remindful of them, so you'll be able
(47:37):
to intervene on them, hopefully hopefullyideally, Uh yeah, but go ahead
and plug plug, plug away.I would just JJ new JJ underscore almost
messed up, right, at leastI didn't say under dash, JJ underscore
Newberry, Um, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. I actually posted a
(48:00):
TikTok video no way, Yeah,little Misty. I got to look it
up. It's an old video ofa little Misty. You've seen it before,
Misty love. Yeah, just hermoving a little ball around needs um.
So yeah, poster happening. There'llbe more posts on TikTok happening.
(48:23):
Yeah. She was just a tinytype there, so little. Yeah,
she still had the same teeth witha little snarl. Um. But yeah,
follow me JJ underscore Newberry all thesocials, all the socials. Yeah,
after you follow Jason, make sureto follow us. Take a Stace
pot, Take a stace Pod onFacebook, Instagram and Twitter. Again.
(48:45):
Shout out to Baylor for my shirtat Baylorism on Instagram. Shout out to
Black Horror Humor. That is theother show that I do with Baylor and
Drake from Everything Culture where these blackpeople give our perspective one different horror movies
we may be reviewing Smile. I'llsee if my co hosts have watched it.
Yeah, because I have a lotof thoughts about that movie that will
(49:07):
continue on that pace. But thanksagain for tuning in. Please make sure
to follow us on all the socialsincluding YouTube, TikTok, Facebook, Instagram,
Twitter, yeah, all those goodstuff. Take a space pod.
That's take a space p o D. Thank you again so much for tuning
in. Please let us know,let us know your thoughts, like how
(49:27):
are it what habits have you createdthat have gone against your personality? Or
how are you coping at work?Are you a more passive person or dynamic
person? We have some really goodconversations today, all right, So yeah
that you all have a great weekand we'll see you next time. Bye bye,
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com