November 15, 2022 • 50 mins
#championsofdiscourse #takeupspacepod #holidayseason
This was a doozy of an episode, but a necessary conversation about how we process this time of year, Obituary Season. Please take care of yourself and connect with those who bring you joy.
0:00 Intro
03:49 Leah's tangents
06:50 Obituary Season
19:00 We Need Security to Feel Vulnerable
35:47 Validate Your Feelings
Follow the podcast https://linktr.ee/takeupspacepod
Be sure to follow Jason!
https://www.instagram.com/jj_newberry/
https://vsco.co/jjnewberry/gallery
https://twitter.com/JJ_Newberry
https://www.tiktok.com/@jj_newberry
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/take-up-space-podcast--5182502/support.
This was a doozy of an episode, but a necessary conversation about how we process this time of year, Obituary Season. Please take care of yourself and connect with those who bring you joy.
0:00 Intro
03:49 Leah's tangents
06:50 Obituary Season
19:00 We Need Security to Feel Vulnerable
35:47 Validate Your Feelings
Follow the podcast https://linktr.ee/takeupspacepod
Be sure to follow Jason!
https://www.instagram.com/jj_newberry/
https://vsco.co/jjnewberry/gallery
https://twitter.com/JJ_Newberry
https://www.tiktok.com/@jj_newberry
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/take-up-space-podcast--5182502/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Fools. Did you sure I did. Yeah, that looks a lot better.
While you were here, you sawmy trash can. A few weeks
later, I bought batteries for thetrash can. Did you it was only
(00:20):
last week that you put the batteriesin. No. I did put the
batteries in, but it just wasn'tworking. And I don't know why it
wasn't working. But I want togo take out the trash because that's what
you do when you're a stronger topity black woman. And when I flipped
(00:41):
the top over, I was like, oh, there's a switch. So
I thought the batteries were dead,and I was going to order more,
but I was too lazy to takethem out and then have to order more
and then switch them out in thesea if those work. But I'm glad
I didn't because I just whipp theswitch. Now it works. Rather than
(01:04):
traditional troubleshooting, you were just gonnabuy more batteries, and in theory,
if the cycle continued, you wouldjust keep buying batteries. No, I
would have just left it because Iwas I was fine with lifting up the
trash with my finger and putting itback down and washing my hands. I
was there almost three months ago.Just for the record, First of all,
the batteries were bought about a monthago. They were put in a
(01:29):
week after I got them. Andwhere did you find the switch as a
week like a week or so ago. Yeah, it was some time.
It was some time. There aresome things we just don't pay attention to,
and it's not something that's like topof mine because I was more so
focused on the amazing ox tails thatI made and then don't don't try to
(01:49):
cheat. It was just like,don't change and just fall off the bone
ox tails over some white rice andit was just like, that's great.
It was amazing. I'm happy foryou. All parties enjoyed it, truly
it was. It was delicious.But sometimes we just some pantition. And
(02:13):
yes, I think that that isa part of human nature. Okay,
I was trying to give you abreak this week. I'm glad it works
though it does, but now it'slike fickle, like it's like one of
those Halloween It's like those Halloween things, because it was like if I open
it without pressing the open button orwaving my hand over it, it'll aggressively
(02:37):
close itself back down. Hungry,hungry hippo type thing. First of all,
why are you so aggressive? Youdo not have to be rude like
now now has personality not pay norent or anything. Got a lot of
attitudes in the world, taking oftwo and a half feet of space,
and now all of a sudden,I let you got some life in you.
(03:02):
M M. Let me tell yousomething. I did give you relief
this week. So no new words. Um, I haven't been huh.
I was ready for it, butit's okay. I'm trying to give it,
trying to give you a break,mostly because it's like munching and things
(03:22):
were busy at work, so Iwas like, I can't because in Colcaide,
no, no, it was aninca in Coulcate was the last one
it was. Now I have tolook it up after this show. I
gotta give you. I gotta gottatell you what it's going to be.
You're slipping, slipping, Yeah Idon't remember, but yeah. Thank you
(03:44):
all for tuning in to another episodeto take a SACE podcast. I'm your
hostly joined by my coach star Jason. It's me, It's me. Yeah,
it's been great like having you honestlyfor the past six sish months.
Has it been that long? Itprobably has, I don't I haven't counted.
Hey, I need to go backinto hiring for a minute. The
(04:06):
people need to miss me, youknow. I mean I feel like that
sometimes, and being off for likethe last couple of weeks and has really
kind of helped with not having topost and do this and do that.
But it's a lot of people areasking, you know, how came how
come I not do solo shows orgo live or any of this, blah
(04:29):
blah blah. And it's like,because I needs someone to like make me
stay in my lane. We've hadthese conversations. Oh, it's so bad.
It's so bad. It's so bad. I go off topic with things.
But you'll go off like and takethe entire freeway to an entirely different
(04:51):
city, and then there's no wayback me. I'll take a side,
I'll take an exit on the freewayand then hop back on in a few
miles. You'll go the full roadtrip, buy a new house in the
city and stuff. You'll settle intothe city and then try to pick up
and go back to where you wereoriginally tending to go in the first place.
(05:15):
You can't do that after you've movedin. And I mean sometimes sometimes
you gotta like find the pockets togo back home. But if I feel
like that, But that's another thingI try to. I try to be
more more cautious about the conversations.I have to make sure that they stay
on a certain path. But mybrain works in a way that it connects
(05:40):
things to other things. Yea,And sometimes any conversation, I don't make
those connections out loud, so Iend up talking about so many different things
and change topics four to six times. It's like, wait, I want
to get back to that, butalso circling back to this, but then
talking about this, and then goingthis way and that way. It's just
(06:00):
it's a lot, Okay. I'velearned to navigate it jarring, a little
traumatizing sometimes, what you know,I feel like, but it keeps you
on your toes. It comes withterritory. Does it keep me on my
toes? It does it keep meon guard? Um more so on your
toes. I don't think that you'veever been I don't think since two thousand
(06:21):
twelve. Maybe it took some time. It took some time, maybe twenty
twelve. You were less guarded.I suppose, yeah, you were,
you were, You were way lessguarded in twenty twelve. You need to
do a lot of soul searching onthis one. Soul searching. Oh,
oh my gosh, you hear thoseaggressives. I don't know why you're doing
(06:44):
that. It's fun sometimes it's nice. But we were talking a little bit
earlier about November, all the holidays, all the music and the decoration,
to the people come together, thecold weather, and being on edge to
(07:06):
find out who's obituary we're going tobe reading. I don't know what it
is between November in January, butit's like people just getting their ticket punched
and just like all right out ofhere. I do not like November.
I haven't liked November since nineteen ninetyseven when my grandmother passed, and then
(07:30):
like there have been other familial deathsin November, so it's not my favorite.
Don't look forward to it at all, like at all. Basically,
the end of October through November isjust like it there's a is it coming
this way? Probably not? No. The sirens, Oh you looked over
(07:56):
heard something like clutters like step typesound like wait, I hope you didn't
hear any footsteps. It's only mein the house. That's how every scary
movie starts. See no m thatbehind you. Okay, before we get
back into that real quick, andthis is where we get into a side.
I didn't know that they were cleaningthe windows. I just kept hearing
(08:18):
some banging when I was in theoffice, but when I closed the door,
I couldn't hear it anymore. SoI come out the office wearing what
I normally wear around the house,which was not very appropriate for the guy
who was like cleaning my window,and I was just like, oh,
enjoy the show as I'm running.They don't seem to notice for the kind
(08:39):
of thing like I didn't know myfloor was that day, so that's why
I didn't. I wasn't prepared.They said notices, but I didn't trip.
But back to the topic at hands, this is black unless unless they're
telling me that I owe something orthat they're coming specifically to my apartments who
change something, I'm not really sure. I'm like, oh, you're watching
(09:01):
windows, that's fine. I'm likeif they're doing like the yearly inspections or
whatever where they come around to snoop. But they just say they're checking the
smoke detectors. Um, right,let me check walls for damage, and
we're gonna look at your building thisweek, so just make sure that,
I mean, your dogs are lockedup and stuff. I'm like, no,
I'll plan to be home because Idon't want to right a right no.
(09:26):
But um yeah, back to thetopic of hand. I'm really I'm
really weird when it comes to death, um, because I know it's a
natural part of life, and um, one of the hardest deaths recently,
most recently, UM was a fewyears back when like, my it's okay.
(09:52):
She's like, they're like the grandparentsof the family, but they're not
related to us, but we've knownthem for a long time, so we
called Grandma, Grandma Dorothy Grandpa Owl. Grandpa Owl's death hit me hard recently
and it was like I had mycry. I was able to get it
(10:13):
out by the time I got tomy royal service. I was good.
It was a little bit emotional,but I was like fine, but I'm
just like I need that initial like, let me get this out. Even
at my and two back in twothousand and five, when my dad's father
passed, like I just needed aminute to just like be like man like
he's like, oh my gosh andum. And then most recently Grandpa Al
(10:41):
when he passed, I was justlike, like, I was at work
when I got that, well,I was at work when I got both
messages. Oh my gosh, yeah, and it was um and I'm I'm
I'm across the country on the eastcoast and they're they're on the west coast,
and so I was like, Ican't just go over there, you
know, people with the family,and so m after but after I cried
(11:03):
and everything, um, after Ifish like heard the news because the first
we first hear it is kind ofshocking, a little drawing, and then
I'm fine after that, yeah,like there'll be some tender moments, but
other than that, like I'm notlike trying to be like callous or harsh
some people. Oh you know,you got icing your veins and it's like
(11:24):
I've already processed it. People likethere's going to be moments and I'm gonna
be like, oh, you know, he's gone, Like I can't I
can't call or show up or whatever, blah blah, Like I'm not gonna
hear his voice anymore. I'm notgonna hear him play. I'm not gonna
be able to go visitors things likethat. But it's like, you know,
I I don't know, tell youlike, it's not like and I
(11:46):
say, and when I say I'mweird about death, I'm weird by other
people's standards because I don't do thewhole fallen out thing, and I don't
do the whole um you know,oh, like, oh, we need
to be super emotional, we needto do this or whatever, blah blah.
I'm more like the I'm a personthat intellect intellectual intellectualizes my feelings as
(12:11):
opposed to processing my feelings, Andso I'm learning to process them a little
bit better by feeling the feelings insteadof just intellectualizing and analyzing and all that
other stuff. Once I start learninghow to do that, it made it
a lot easier for me to likenot just get through things, but like
process and fully feel them. Yeah, but it doesn't make me. I
(12:31):
don't think it makes me any lessof a like I was any I wasn't
as close or I wasn't as youknow, I didn't love them as much
or whatever. Right, It's justthat's just the way I process it.
Yeah, I'm sort of I wouldn'tsay I'm similar, but for me,
it's always like I'll hear the newsor whatever. Usually after i find out
(12:54):
that somebody closest past I'll like,I'll get a fever. Apparently me like
that's very common for me. Yeah, I'll get a fever and then I'll
basically like just fall asleep for afew hours and just really just like and
then it just sort of feels likea knife, just like a scar,
basically just sort of lingers. Likewe were talking about before we started recording,
(13:20):
I've always been highly emotional. AsI've gotten older, I've sort of
gotten numb to certain things too,especially when it comes to like death.
It's sort of like I'm in aposition where because I experienced like close deaths
very early on, like ten yearsold, I went through all like that
(13:43):
kind of like really intense stuff atthat time, and so I'm like,
Okay, lost this person, sortof feel it in that moment, go
through like the week or two whereeverything is really raw, but I know
there's another side to this grief.Not that you ever over grief, but
there's another stage that you get towith it where it's like acceptance you have
(14:03):
those tender moments and stuff. Butfor me, it's always been sort of
like a piece that I have withmyself, like, oh, okay,
at some point, my welcoming committee, I'll see all of them again.
That's why I call it my welcomingcommittee. I don't have like a strong
bond with like any particular religion orwhatever, but I have this strong feeling
that there's something else. However itends, I'll end up with them again.
(14:28):
So that's why I will look atit like, Okay, they're just
they're waiting for me wherever they are. They're doing what they need to do,
preparing for me to get there whenit's my time to get there.
So I'm good. I'll miss them. I miss them, but things will
be all right. The one thathit me the hardest most recently was my
(14:50):
aunt's death, of course, intwenty nineteen. That one was like the
first time where like a parental figurein my adulthood. My grandmother passed when
I was ten. I was likea perenthal figure because we spent it's a
lot of time with her, butum my aunt cookie like we were at
her house basically all the time fromthe time that I was like in like
the fourth no, like maybe thirdgrade through like sixth grade. We were
(15:13):
after her house every day after school, every weekday, um, because we
still went to school in Oakland,but my mom we lived in San Pablo.
My mom worked in Oakland, wentto school in Oakland, so we
would just go to her house afterschool. Um. And even after we
started going to school in Richmond,um still at her house like basically all
(15:35):
the time doing talent talent shows andstuff. So a lot of her like
ways, she taught me how tobe a black man in certain ways,
like just to how to carry myself, how to show respect to myself and
for myself and stuff. And sothat death really that put me with the
new therapist, Like yeah, becausemy first therapist he when I made my
(16:02):
point with him. I think Italked about this before on the show where
um I told him like, yeah, I'm not passed and I'm like processing
it and he's like, well,so sorry to hear that, but you
know, people, people get older, they die, And I was like,
oh, this is it, thisis the this is it. This
was like a week not even aweek after that. This was yeah,
(16:23):
this is about a week after Ihadn't even gone back to work yet,
I don't think, And I waslike, this is it, Like in
the session, this happened maybe likethe ten first ten or fifteen minutes in
an hour session, and the wholetime I'm sitting there trying to offer up
some stuff and be vulnerable and shareit. And I'm like, I don't
want to share too much because I'mnot coming back like this is yeah,
(16:47):
this isn't it, This isn't gonnabe it. Yeah. Um. But
I realized as I got older andjust working with my current therapist, I
realized that I didn't get a chanceto process like my grandmother's death when I
was really young, because there wereso many strong emotions that were happening in
my family at that with that one. And I guess that's one thing that
(17:07):
I noticed with death and grief andstuff. It's really hard or it's important
for me to recognize my own emotionsand other people's emotions. I recognize that
with my own emotions the way Iprocess stuff, I'm like you, where
I was sort of intellectualized things,I'm very cerebral with how I think about
things, um and understanding that it'sa process like everything. The way that
(17:30):
people die is a process, likethe end stage of life. This is
dark. How do we get onthis topic? How don't we just jumped
straight into this? I just feellike, for the record, before,
right before we started recording, wewere talking. We were having a good
conversation. So this is a goodconversation, don't get me wrong. But
(17:52):
she asked me, do you haveanything you're passionate about? Like, I'm
not sure, And then this youhad the opportunity to choose a different topic.
But I was just very interested becauseI know with the holidays coming up,
you know, and probably and thereare probably many many people who who
listen who have like the same experienceyou have with the end of the year
(18:15):
or we have essentially for the endof the year. It is just like,
man, like, how are wegoing to get through this? Like
what are we doing to to reallyprocess this? And I think sometimes it's
it's good to kind of talk abouthow we process certain things, um not
to open you know, old wounds, wounds, but to just understand how
people process things, because there arepeople I think that are on both the
(18:37):
ends of the spectrum like you andme, where you have the highly sensitive
emotion highly emotional person like me,and you also very emotional but also very
cerebral, where you are processing thingsintellectually and you're experiencing the emotions. You
may not be expressing the emotions andthe way that people assume that you should,
yeah, but you're still experiencing them. And I think for you,
(19:03):
for people like you, it's sortof like a disservice. How people look
at people like you were It's like, oh, they can take anything,
they can, they just roll withthe punches. You're still experiencing those things.
You're still experiencing grief the exact sameway that everyone else is. It's
just that you haven't been conditioned toshare those things and to express those things
and feel comfortable expressing those things.And I think that's a disservice to a
(19:26):
certain extent. I know, sometimesit's also like Okay, you don't need
to express it in that way oryou don't feel compelled to, But also
to have the room to just havethat moment if you want to, Yeah,
well, I think that I've hadthe room. I just think that
I haven't felt safe enough to bethat vulnerable with a lot of other people.
(19:52):
And that safety is really important.And now that I have that safety
to be that von and not feeljudged or turn into a spectacle or you
know, ridiculed for whatever reason.I think that it's like now I'm learning
like maybe maybe I was a verysensitive kid. I don't know, but
(20:15):
I ended up just like by secondor third grade, like I just turn
it to the tough kid, likeI had to take everything on the chain
and just like keep it and keepit pushing, you know, fear.
What's that like? Oh, likeyou know, it's you know, why
do you want to cry? Whyare you doing this? Blah blah blah,
(20:36):
And it's like, no, yousuck it up. Not that that
was a I don't know. Ican't remember. I can't point to a
time that I was ever told tosuck it up or told to stop crying,
or told to not show emotion oranything like that. I just think
that especially going to public school,just being in being in public, being
(20:57):
in school period, um, therewas never really a safe space for me
to to cry, and never orto not even not even to cry,
just to feel anything other than elation. Um, in high school, I
was always told, oh my gosh, you're always so happy, like how
how are you always so happy?How are you always laughing? Like you
(21:18):
never get upset? You never?And it's like, I right, there's
no there's no place, there's nospace for that, Like there's not a
if there's any other way? Wereyou here? Fix your attitude right right?
And you're like you know, like, oh you know what got you
so angry? And it's like no, if you want friends like you gotta
(21:40):
you gotta put it on, likeyou're like, you're good like an honey,
right. And so I think Itook that. It's just that a
little bit too far. And nowthat I'm in my thirties, I'm like
learning how good it feels to justhave that emotional release, whether it is
um laughing really hard hard, orbeing upset and feeling upset in the moment
(22:03):
and then letting it pass or cryingor just feeling whatever the feeling is,
instead of instead of intellectualizing it andsaying, well, yes it is,
it is okay for me to feelthis way because so and so did so
and so, and because they didn'tdo this after I expressly set this like
I can feel this way blah blahblah blah, and then instead of feeling
(22:26):
the feeling. The feeling is nowanalyzed, and now it's like, well,
then I don't feel like I shouldbe upset because they probably were doing
something for them. Blah blah.And I'm doing all this talking, all
this thinking about how I'm feeling whatI'm feeling instead of just feeling the feeling
and letting the feeling pass. Ispent more time rationalizing it than I did
(22:48):
actually just feeling the feeling. Sonow that just at them than this would
feel I'm I'm really working on.And I was, oh, my gosh,
it just talks about this last night. I'm really working on. No,
I didn't talk about this. Iwrote about this earlier today. Being
more expressive with my emotions in thosesafe spaces and being okay with whatever happens
(23:19):
in that space, whether people acceptor reject or ignore whatever, but just
being in a being in a placeto just feel myself and just to be
that and not having to and nothaving to mask, because that's a lot
(23:41):
of what I was listening to afew different psychologists who were talking about the
difference between code switching and masking,especially when especially like not being the eurocentric
white person who's the standard for everythinghaving to mask yourself, whether you're in
(24:02):
education or professional settings, or evenat the grocery store. You know,
it's like, you're we go tothe grocertore, what are you told,
like, Hey, you better keepyou hands in your pockets, and you
know, make sure you act right, don't say nothing, don't ask right.
So if you hear your favorite songin the grocery store, can't you
dance? No, you were toldkeep you hands in your pockets. Just
you better, you better walk straightbehind me. And that's what it is,
(24:26):
like, I should be able tosee you, you see me at
all times. And so it's like, but other people they hear their favorite
song on the store, they're ableto just experience it as it's happening.
Yeah, So it's really interesting whenwe talk about masking and we talk about
different ways it has manifested itself,especially in our communities, like talking about
how grief is affecting us and howwe process that grief, especially during this
(24:49):
time. It's I think it's it'sa good conversation so that people don't feel
weird about isolated, Like you're experiencingthese things and thinking that nobody else is
going through them and that's one thingthat I can credit my mom with.
(25:10):
When she lost her mom when Iwas ten, she was very open about
all of the emotions appropriately actually,like she wasn't like inappropriately open about it,
like she was careful to hide certainstuff from us or sort of keep
certain things from us, but shewas very open about what she was experiencing
and how it was affecting her.And so that made it so that we
were also encouraged to share a lotof our reactions to that loss. I
(25:37):
realized now that I'm older, thatpart of why I was still why I'm
still processing it because I was soyoung. I wasn't able to say goodbye
the right way because we were onlyten, Me and my brother, my
twin we're only ten at the time, so we were like the only two
who weren't allowed to go in tosay a properly goodbye. So yeah,
(26:00):
that manifests itself as like a lossof control. But that's a whole other
story. But it's interesting, likethe different ways that we mask ourselves,
like grief, like hiding our griefand just sort of just putting on and
just keeping going and stuff. Andthen one that I'm managing now not to
change the topic. But it's ina similar way with feeling safe enough to
(26:22):
open up to people, like withjust even living with like chronic pain and
that kind of thing. Because I'mexperiencing a lot of fiber myalogy issues and
so I'm realizing that, like I'mjust opening up to more people than I
realized that I wanted to open upto about like, yeah, fiber mialoger.
So I deal with fatigue and painand stuff. And so I'm seeing
all these different doctors trying to getthe neck issue under control. Which since
(26:48):
I'm feeling comfortable with those people,I'm able to get advice. They're like,
well, yeah, I've heard trythis kind of chiropractor, or try
this kind of treatment and stuff,and the stuff that I wouldn't have considered.
So I say that to say,the more that you do open up
to other people, as difficult asit may be, it can sort of
open different paths to not getting overthings. I hate that phrase getting over
(27:11):
things. How to manage things,how to manage your grief, how to
manage your pain, how to managejust like how you experience the world.
Because if you have a strong manager, as my therapist calls it the managers
in control. If you have astrong manager who knows what he's doing,
who's been trained well, then whenyou are faced with like crises and stuff,
(27:33):
then it's like, okay, everybodygo through what you need to.
The managers in control, we're notgoing to lose control of this department.
To keep everything under control. Basically, open up to people. If you
feel comfortable doing so, you willget advice, you will get help,
you will get a shoulder if youwill. As corny as that sounds,
(27:56):
that sounds corny, didn't it.It didn't sound so corny until because it
it didn't sound some horny because honestly, I think that people don't really consider
the benefits. They get scared about, like, oh my gosh, we're
gonna look at me crazy. I'mexperience this this which goes back to the
safe space thing, like how doyou know when just like you were saying,
(28:19):
how do you know when you're ina safe space to express those emotions
and stuff and to have that cryand to have that real gut laugh,
like your real laugh, which mostpeople probably haven't heard your real laugh before.
Right, it's a good laugh.Honestly, my laugh is very loud,
(28:40):
but it's a real authentic laugh whenyou're good. It's a good,
good laugh, like it relieves somuch stress and I can laugh like that.
Yes, But how do they know, because sometimes you might face judgment
like, oh wow, you laughloud or that kind of thing. I
don't think you've ever heard that forme. No, right, it's just
like no laugh. It's like,once you get to that point when you're
(29:03):
around me, if you start laughinglike that, I'm gonna do more to
make you laugh. No, you. I think the first time, one
of the first times, I don'tthink it was the first time, I'm
not sure, but one of thefirst times that I can remember when I
laughed really loud like that, youjust start laughing and then we just couldn't
stop laughing, and it was like, don't even know what we were laughing
(29:25):
about, but it just kept going. I feel like, I feel like
that's kind of where you have tobe more confident. Is that the word
that I'm looking for, secure,securing yourself of Hey, I'm going to
(29:48):
try to don't give the person thewhole mile, give them aniche. I'm
gonna try to, you know,give this person a little bit and if
they can be trusted with this littlebit of vulnerability, then I can open
up more. And then if theyexchange their vulnerability with my vulnerability, then
I know that I can open upmore and we can create a space that
feels comfortable. And if they crossa boundary or make our cause and offense,
(30:15):
then I can let them know becausewe're in this vulnerable space that this
is not okay right now for me, and just being able to kind of
talk through those things, it makesit it makes it easier to create that
space. And I only say itthat way because that's honestly, that's been
(30:36):
the path that I've been on forthe past like six months. Is just
kind of like opening up a littlebit, they open up a little bit,
I open up more, They openup a lot more. And I
was like, oh, that's howthat's done. It's like, Okay,
I gave you a little bit andnow I know your childhood. How are
(31:00):
you so comfortable with just like andit was just like, oh, this
is me, I mean yeah yeah, But also how did you know that
this was like a cool space todo that? It was like, well,
if you didn't judge me for this, like you're not going to judge
me for this, and so I'mnot wrong, but how did you know?
Right? Like? How are youso? And so I think that
(31:22):
seeing that example and being part ofthat example helps me to say, Okay,
well, I don't need to changewho I am and be super expressive
with my emotions and be over thetop this way or that, but I
can start to feel my feelings andnot rationalize them. I can start to
(31:45):
you know, when I'm when I'mfeeling upset, when I'm feeling angry,
or when i'm feeling you know,really sad about something, or when something
does make me emotional one way oranother, because there's so many different emotions.
When it was like, there wasan I'll probably never forget this as
long as I live. I wasfeeling just like good Golden Girls. Blanche
(32:09):
Devereaux called it magenta because she saidshe doesn't like the color magenta. You
don't really feel yellow, you're notreally feeling blue, you're not red with
anger and all these other colors.And then she says, so you're just
magenta. It's just blah. Youdon't know how to feel, You just
feel lah. And I was justlike, yeah, that's pretty much how
I'm feel it right now, butI'm like I can't get out of it,
(32:31):
Like nothing is like pulling me outof it, and I don't And
the worst part is I don't knowwhat's causing it. If we're a person
who likes to rationalize their feelings,it's so frustrating. It's so so frustrating.
So I call and just like hey, no, no, no.
I text and I'm like, Idon't know what's going on, Like I'm
(32:53):
just not I'm not feeling it.Are you sure? I mean mostly like
I don't really. I tried watchingyou know, Scooby Doo, try to
watch a family guy. I triedwatching some of my favorite movies. I
tried um watching an emotional movie,and I just felt I just felt like
like I'm feeling everything and nothing atthe same time, and I don't know
(33:15):
where it's coming from. They calland stay on the phone with me until
I cry it out and was likeare you are you good now? Yeah?
Yeah, I'm good, okay,cool, Yeah, just get it
to open the top a little bit. Yeah. So it's just so it's
(33:39):
it's hard for for a person likeme who rationalizes and analyzes every single feeling
that comes through, because there hasto be something to describe where it,
where it came from, where it'sgoing, how it's gonna, who win,
what, why? Where? Um? But to just feel the feeling
like it's I think that it's greatthat I have people like you who who
(34:02):
can feel it, and I canwatch how you feel it. You tell
me how to feel it or howyou don't tell me how to feel it.
You tell me how you're feeling it, and then it helps me to
just let it pass. Yeah,it's like you sort of tap into Okay,
well he described this, so okay, I'm kind of seeing that and
just understanding that it's not like it'snot unusual. Oh god, I did
(34:28):
not want to sound like um,because I even now when I get when
somebody makes me upset, especially atwork, I'm like, nope, two
minutes and then I'll take I'll taketen seconds to try to see if I
can call somebody, and if Ican't call anybody, I'll get into I'll
(34:49):
get to the window and I'll yellat somebody at one of these other windows
back here and just be like,can't you believe what they did? I
cannot understand. And then I'll spendtwo minutes, tell them all the things
that happen. Some time it takesfive, but tell them all the things
that happen. And then I'm like, all right, cool. Somebody in
one of those buildings, like,oh god, Peter, she's coming back.
(35:12):
Somebody with binoculars, like it crossedthe way, just like up,
she's back at the window against itlooks like Sarah did something to Jenny.
Um. Yeah, it's good tolearn how to process your how to process
(35:34):
and manage your emotions because we can't. One thing that my my old therapist
told me is that you can't controlyour emotions. You're gonna feel what you
want to feel. Yeah, andthen you feel it, that's valid.
That's validation right there. If youfeel it, Oh, that's a whole
different thing. Oh my gosh,yes, rationalize it. It's like,
Okay, I'm feeling sad today.Okay, still sad, Like that's it's
(35:59):
value. You're okay, it's okayfor you to feel sad. But then
there's somebody in a worse position thanyou are, so you need to be
happy for what you have. Ihate that. I hate that line of
thinking. And it's weird. It'snot weird. It's it's also not funny,
it's ironic. I guess, likeon days like this where it's raining
and I'm very sensitive to like weatherchanges with my mood um, and so
(36:23):
today I was just feeling like,oh God, just angry at the world,
just mad, annoyed at everything.I'm like, it's fine, I
can feel this way. It's it'svalid. And a homeless person walking by
my window as I'm sitting here,I'm like, oh crap. It's like,
yeah, I can feel it.It's fine for me to feel it,
but like, yes, somebody elsehas it worse off. Yeah,
(36:44):
put it into perspective. It's notthat there was what did they say?
There was like an anecdote of ornot an anecdote. That's not the word
I'm looking for. There was anexample provided that said, even though I
have cancer, you can't It's notthat you can't tell me about your broken
leg. Your leg is still broken. Yeah, me having cancer doesn't change
(37:06):
it. Likes I'm just like,yeah, like, you can absolutely feel
how you're feeling. But I thinkit's I think it's more so in the
way that it's expressed that makes peoplejudge it, because if you're upset that
you know your pin ran out ofink, and you the way that you
express it is to throw the pinacross the room. I want to dial
(37:30):
it back. You might want tofind a better outlet for your emotions.
You can just get up tossing itin a trash can get another pin,
right, But some people would ratherhave the fight. Some people would rather
have the have the outlet because theydon't have any worldse to put it.
(37:50):
And so I just think that thewhole thing of having people validate your feelings
or you even trying to and validatethe way you feel because somebody has it
worse off than you. Know.You can still feel crappy, you can
still feel sad, you can stillbe angry. You know, somebody got
(38:10):
You know you wanted this car,but you had to settle for this car.
You know you really wanted that car, and you feel defeated by it.
But perspective, you got a car. Yeah, it's you can be
disappointed to some degree, but Imean you can feel however you want to
feel. I'm not telling you howto feel, but uh like it's valid
for you, not valid. Seeusing all these words that we're saying,
(38:37):
Oh, you can't. You don'tneed people to validate your feelings. I
can understand feeling disappointed by not gettingthe exact thing that you want, but
like if, like you said,if you want a specific car, is
it's sold out, or if it'stoo expensive or your credit is not good
enough, it's completely understandable to bedisappointed by it and still have some elation
(38:58):
over having the car. Yeah,like people are complex. You can you
don't have. You don't experience onesimple emotion at a time. You have
you are a complex network of differentemotions at any given time. Might be
happy with a thread, like there'ssome frustration but you're still happy, or
you're happy but there's a third ofsadness or something, or there's anger but
(39:22):
contentment to some degree. You canbe all those things at once. You're
complex humans. You can't experience allthese things at the moment you made me
think of inside out of just likehow she was sad that she lost a
game, but happy that her thather friends and family came around to support
(39:42):
her. Or even if you thinkabout like your wedding day, there's so
many different emotions, like you're excited, you're nervous, you're anxious, you're
afraid, Like there's there's so manydifferent emotions. Or you think about a
funeral and it's like there are somany sad things, but then you think
about all the happy times that arefeeling with love and care and compassion and
things like the celebratory nature of it. Yeah, there's there's so many different
things about about emotions that you thatit's it's very interesting that I take the
(40:07):
time to rationalize it and try totry to think about where it comes from
and how it's feeling and blah blablah blah. Um. Now emotions are
freaking weird. Yeah, because youdon't, I mean, you know why.
And a lot of times people areangry it like it's it's it's masking
something else. Yeah, And sothat's why it's like, Okay, am
(40:28):
I really angry or I'm sad aboutthis or I'm or am I disappointed about
this? Because of disappointment? NowI'm upset, and I feel like anger
is like the baseline. Um,just like that's the base emotion. Yea
primal emotion where that's like the firstthing where if there's any kind of like
(40:52):
a thread of negative. Yeah,usually you feel angry first you feel anxious.
Usually you're angry first, yeah,or like right, and it's like
why are you Why are you soupset? I'm not mad? Why And
when people it would be I'm notmad, and it's like they could be
very true, like they're they're notmad, but they're expressing anger. They're
(41:14):
more so disappointed and it's coming avaanger and like may not be mad,
but you're conveying mad. What isthat hiding? What's what's Let's figure out
where the who's that? Let's unpackthat a little bit. I want to
figure out what's going on. ButI feel like that understand it. For
me when I try to understand myemotions, it's more about not repeating cyclical
(41:43):
behavior. Yeah, I don't wantto put myself in a negative space,
or I want to recognize when apattern is starting so I can break it.
And it's not the best reason,but I realize that since I do
this anyway, I'm going to useit for good. Yeah, because if
(42:05):
I'm not processing my issues, aremanaging my emotions the way that I need
to be. Because I haven't.I haven't arrived. I mean I'll probably
arrive sometime in my forties. Youget there maybe eventually, but you know,
I just feel like it's now,give your like and I know we
say this a lot, but especiallynow, give yourself that space, give
(42:31):
yourself that grace, give yourself thetime, and you buy yourself can start
creating what safety looks like, Startcreating what vulnerability looks like for you.
What does peace in your space looklike for you? All these things,
all these comfort things, what doesthat look like for you? Jayson?
(42:53):
You get up, you have yourrecord player, you have your poster,
like, you have that zen inspace and you can create that like on
your own. I'm still working onmine, have quite a few pieces of
art that have not made it tothe wall yet, but eventually, Yeah,
(43:15):
but I feel like it's uh,it's it's really important, especially as
we're ending this year and starting anew just take some time to yourself in
the space. Figure out how youwant to be accepted, and be okay
when people don't accept you the waythey think you're supposed to be the way
you think you're supposed to be accepted, because they can accept you even more
(43:37):
than what you expected. They couldaccept you a little bit less or not
at all. In either way,it's good to be secure in yourself,
knowing that you're good and can laughas hard and loud as you want to
laugh, or soft and low.You know how. I'm not sure how
good guffog achortal good ball was oneof my words from two weeks ago.
(44:04):
Oh I love that word. Ilove that word. Oh my gosh,
I like k foot I like kotthat too. But yes, just take
the time to figure. It's easiersaid than done, way easier said than
done. Yeah, but once youtake time, it's kind of like starting
a garden. Once you take timeto really like till the ground, do
(44:30):
the fertilizer, set the stage.When people start to approach, you can
tell which ones are going to respectthe space and which ones aren't. So
it's gonna help you to be verycareful about the space that you've cultivated for
yourself. Yeah. Yes, that'sall that happened. That's that's enough.
(44:51):
I think that the mic Just throwyour mic off your desk. No,
oh gosh, no, yeah,I don't do that. You pay money
for that? No, no,no, no, no no no.
Yeah. So Jason, with thatbeing said, I really hope that this
holiday season is amazing. We're probablygoing to go to buy weekly. I'm
(45:14):
not sure yet. I'll talk.I'll talk one of my co star to
see what we're doing, because Iwant to make sure that we're all able
to enjoy enjoy this time with ourfamilies. So with that, Jason,
Yes, where can people find you? They can find me in the streets
if you want to fight. No, Um, you can find When are
(45:36):
you ever the street? When areyou ever in the streets? Sir from
Crenshaw? Remember when? Um,just a quick aside. Remember I don't
know if you saw this about ayear ago. Maybe, Um we're Safiy
from Flavor of Love. You rememberSafire, right, the one who beat
(45:58):
the lady up for hidden with aflower and she was like you want some
lip chap? Oh yeah, yea, yeah yeah yead her death a few
years like to your stop, LikeI had logged into Twitter, people cared
enough about her to thank her owndebt. I had logged into Twitter and
I saw like, oh rest inpiece of art. I'm like, oh
no, it's terrible. And thenI go to Twitter and it's like,
(46:19):
we are sorry to say that Safireor Winter Instagram and she did like a
story where it said like we're sorryto say, Safari has passed. We
were very saddened by this, andthen it came out like maybe fifteen or
twenty minutes later, like no,no, she was just trying to promote
lip chap. So with that said, Wow, With that said, yeah,
what I am a vault of uselesspop culture moments. You can find
(46:45):
me on Twitter and Instagram at JJUnderscore Newberry, probably TikTok. I'm gonna
post some TikTok's pretty soon. Playingwith that voice filter. I don't know
if you've seen that yet. It'sso weird. It is so weird,
but I'm excited to try it out. I need to find some movies,
probably do Holiday Heart actually, ohmy gosh, bless huh Blosster. But
(47:14):
yeah, you can find me inthose places JJ Underscore Newberry typing into all
the socials, it'll probably be myface. So I think he just unlocked
the memory of us at Sack Stategoing to a talk, remember the Hoppa
talk where he was he was talkingabout how people who are mixed race didn't
(47:34):
have like a checkbox until like theOkay, remember in the beginning he was
like doing he was doing pop culturereferences, and it was like who stole
who stole this something from American's NextTop Model And you're like, breethe and
I was like, how do youknow? How do you know that?
I don't watch the show, buthow do you know that Buddy stole the
(47:55):
granola bar? And so Brie pouredout all the red bull For those fans
of America's Next Side Model h afteryou follow Jason, please make sure to
follow take a Space podcast. That'stake a Space Pod, Facebook, Instagram,
Twitter, TikTok YouTube, um.I think that's I think that's everything.
(48:17):
That's where, that's all where weare. Please make sure to give
us a follow, give us alike, share you know, with all
the great things, and let usknow. How are you going to manage
your emotions? Especially during this timeholidays are around the corner, and yet
one that is like common but alsojust the holidays are stressful for a lot
(48:38):
of people, because the family isstressful for a lot of people. So
how how are y'all going to managethat? Don't look to the side.
Don't look don't look to the side. You're telling on some people. I'm
not telling on anybody because I Iam excited about this season. It's gonna
be I'm affecting greatness, so I'mgoing to it will be great, Yes,
(49:06):
it will be great. I'm soexcited for you guys. Know I
keep saying that I'm excited for yourmom. Not to diminish how you how
excited you might be. I'm excitedfor your mom to have everybody there that
I can't wait to go to thejump house with some dodgeballs and start paying
kids in him. Don't tell themtoo much. I'm sorry. I'm just
(49:30):
saying that's that's probably gonna happen.Do you know which niece or nephew you're
going to pelt first? Oh?Yes, the big one. Oh,
the big one. And when hewatches this, he's gonna know the big
one. He'll take you, He'lltake you, He'll die. No,
I'm gonna have a backup one,so i'd be like, oh, wow,
(49:51):
just give away your secret. Ihope you're listening to kids. Oh,
he knows about the jump punch.He knows about the jump punch,
Superman punch. Hi Joles, Thankyou very much, and I will see
you all next time. Bye.
Fools. Did you sure I did. Yeah, that looks a lot better.
While you were here, you sawmy trash can. A few weeks
later, I bought batteries for thetrash can. Did you it was only
(00:20):
last week that you put the batteriesin. No. I did put the
batteries in, but it just wasn'tworking. And I don't know why it
wasn't working. But I want togo take out the trash because that's what
you do when you're a stronger topity black woman. And when I flipped
(00:41):
the top over, I was like, oh, there's a switch. So
I thought the batteries were dead,and I was going to order more,
but I was too lazy to takethem out and then have to order more
and then switch them out in thesea if those work. But I'm glad
I didn't because I just whipp theswitch. Now it works. Rather than
(01:04):
traditional troubleshooting, you were just gonnabuy more batteries, and in theory,
if the cycle continued, you wouldjust keep buying batteries. No, I
would have just left it because Iwas I was fine with lifting up the
trash with my finger and putting itback down and washing my hands. I
was there almost three months ago.Just for the record, First of all,
the batteries were bought about a monthago. They were put in a
(01:29):
week after I got them. Andwhere did you find the switch as a
week like a week or so ago. Yeah, it was some time.
It was some time. There aresome things we just don't pay attention to,
and it's not something that's like topof mine because I was more so
focused on the amazing ox tails thatI made and then don't don't try to
(01:49):
cheat. It was just like,don't change and just fall off the bone
ox tails over some white rice andit was just like, that's great.
It was amazing. I'm happy foryou. All parties enjoyed it, truly
it was. It was delicious.But sometimes we just some pantition. And
(02:13):
yes, I think that that isa part of human nature. Okay,
I was trying to give you abreak this week. I'm glad it works
though it does, but now it'slike fickle, like it's like one of
those Halloween It's like those Halloween things, because it was like if I open
it without pressing the open button orwaving my hand over it, it'll aggressively
(02:37):
close itself back down. Hungry,hungry hippo type thing. First of all,
why are you so aggressive? Youdo not have to be rude like
now now has personality not pay norent or anything. Got a lot of
attitudes in the world, taking oftwo and a half feet of space,
and now all of a sudden,I let you got some life in you.
(03:02):
M M. Let me tell yousomething. I did give you relief
this week. So no new words. Um, I haven't been huh.
I was ready for it, butit's okay. I'm trying to give it,
trying to give you a break,mostly because it's like munching and things
(03:22):
were busy at work, so Iwas like, I can't because in Colcaide,
no, no, it was aninca in Coulcate was the last one
it was. Now I have tolook it up after this show. I
gotta give you. I gotta gottatell you what it's going to be.
You're slipping, slipping, Yeah Idon't remember, but yeah. Thank you
(03:44):
all for tuning in to another episodeto take a SACE podcast. I'm your
hostly joined by my coach star Jason. It's me, It's me. Yeah,
it's been great like having you honestlyfor the past six sish months.
Has it been that long? Itprobably has, I don't I haven't counted.
Hey, I need to go backinto hiring for a minute. The
(04:06):
people need to miss me, youknow. I mean I feel like that
sometimes, and being off for likethe last couple of weeks and has really
kind of helped with not having topost and do this and do that.
But it's a lot of people areasking, you know, how came how
come I not do solo shows orgo live or any of this, blah
(04:29):
blah blah. And it's like,because I needs someone to like make me
stay in my lane. We've hadthese conversations. Oh, it's so bad.
It's so bad. It's so bad. I go off topic with things.
But you'll go off like and takethe entire freeway to an entirely different
(04:51):
city, and then there's no wayback me. I'll take a side,
I'll take an exit on the freewayand then hop back on in a few
miles. You'll go the full roadtrip, buy a new house in the
city and stuff. You'll settle intothe city and then try to pick up
and go back to where you wereoriginally tending to go in the first place.
(05:15):
You can't do that after you've movedin. And I mean sometimes sometimes
you gotta like find the pockets togo back home. But if I feel
like that, But that's another thingI try to. I try to be
more more cautious about the conversations.I have to make sure that they stay
on a certain path. But mybrain works in a way that it connects
(05:40):
things to other things. Yea,And sometimes any conversation, I don't make
those connections out loud, so Iend up talking about so many different things
and change topics four to six times. It's like, wait, I want
to get back to that, butalso circling back to this, but then
talking about this, and then goingthis way and that way. It's just
(06:00):
it's a lot, Okay. I'velearned to navigate it jarring, a little
traumatizing sometimes, what you know,I feel like, but it keeps you
on your toes. It comes withterritory. Does it keep me on my
toes? It does it keep meon guard? Um more so on your
toes. I don't think that you'veever been I don't think since two thousand
(06:21):
twelve. Maybe it took some time. It took some time, maybe twenty
twelve. You were less guarded.I suppose, yeah, you were,
you were, You were way lessguarded in twenty twelve. You need to
do a lot of soul searching onthis one. Soul searching. Oh,
oh my gosh, you hear thoseaggressives. I don't know why you're doing
(06:44):
that. It's fun sometimes it's nice. But we were talking a little bit
earlier about November, all the holidays, all the music and the decoration,
to the people come together, thecold weather, and being on edge to
(07:06):
find out who's obituary we're going tobe reading. I don't know what it
is between November in January, butit's like people just getting their ticket punched
and just like all right out ofhere. I do not like November.
I haven't liked November since nineteen ninetyseven when my grandmother passed, and then
(07:30):
like there have been other familial deathsin November, so it's not my favorite.
Don't look forward to it at all, like at all. Basically,
the end of October through November isjust like it there's a is it coming
this way? Probably not? No. The sirens, Oh you looked over
(07:56):
heard something like clutters like step typesound like wait, I hope you didn't
hear any footsteps. It's only mein the house. That's how every scary
movie starts. See no m thatbehind you. Okay, before we get
back into that real quick, andthis is where we get into a side.
I didn't know that they were cleaningthe windows. I just kept hearing
(08:18):
some banging when I was in theoffice, but when I closed the door,
I couldn't hear it anymore. SoI come out the office wearing what
I normally wear around the house,which was not very appropriate for the guy
who was like cleaning my window,and I was just like, oh,
enjoy the show as I'm running.They don't seem to notice for the kind
(08:39):
of thing like I didn't know myfloor was that day, so that's why
I didn't. I wasn't prepared.They said notices, but I didn't trip.
But back to the topic at hands, this is black unless unless they're
telling me that I owe something orthat they're coming specifically to my apartments who
change something, I'm not really sure. I'm like, oh, you're watching
(09:01):
windows, that's fine. I'm likeif they're doing like the yearly inspections or
whatever where they come around to snoop. But they just say they're checking the
smoke detectors. Um, right,let me check walls for damage, and
we're gonna look at your building thisweek, so just make sure that,
I mean, your dogs are lockedup and stuff. I'm like, no,
I'll plan to be home because Idon't want to right a right no.
(09:26):
But um yeah, back to thetopic of hand. I'm really I'm
really weird when it comes to death, um, because I know it's a
natural part of life, and um, one of the hardest deaths recently,
most recently, UM was a fewyears back when like, my it's okay.
(09:52):
She's like, they're like the grandparentsof the family, but they're not
related to us, but we've knownthem for a long time, so we
called Grandma, Grandma Dorothy Grandpa Owl. Grandpa Owl's death hit me hard recently
and it was like I had mycry. I was able to get it
(10:13):
out by the time I got tomy royal service. I was good.
It was a little bit emotional,but I was like fine, but I'm
just like I need that initial like, let me get this out. Even
at my and two back in twothousand and five, when my dad's father
passed, like I just needed aminute to just like be like man like
he's like, oh my gosh andum. And then most recently Grandpa Al
(10:41):
when he passed, I was justlike, like, I was at work
when I got that, well,I was at work when I got both
messages. Oh my gosh, yeah, and it was um and I'm I'm
I'm across the country on the eastcoast and they're they're on the west coast,
and so I was like, Ican't just go over there, you
know, people with the family,and so m after but after I cried
(11:03):
and everything, um, after Ifish like heard the news because the first
we first hear it is kind ofshocking, a little drawing, and then
I'm fine after that, yeah,like there'll be some tender moments, but
other than that, like I'm notlike trying to be like callous or harsh
some people. Oh you know,you got icing your veins and it's like
(11:24):
I've already processed it. People likethere's going to be moments and I'm gonna
be like, oh, you know, he's gone, Like I can't I
can't call or show up or whatever, blah blah, Like I'm not gonna
hear his voice anymore. I'm notgonna hear him play. I'm not gonna
be able to go visitors things likethat. But it's like, you know,
I I don't know, tell youlike, it's not like and I
(11:46):
say, and when I say I'mweird about death, I'm weird by other
people's standards because I don't do thewhole fallen out thing, and I don't
do the whole um you know,oh, like, oh, we need
to be super emotional, we needto do this or whatever, blah blah.
I'm more like the I'm a personthat intellect intellectual intellectualizes my feelings as
(12:11):
opposed to processing my feelings, Andso I'm learning to process them a little
bit better by feeling the feelings insteadof just intellectualizing and analyzing and all that
other stuff. Once I start learninghow to do that, it made it
a lot easier for me to likenot just get through things, but like
process and fully feel them. Yeah, but it doesn't make me. I
(12:31):
don't think it makes me any lessof a like I was any I wasn't
as close or I wasn't as youknow, I didn't love them as much
or whatever. Right, It's justthat's just the way I process it.
Yeah, I'm sort of I wouldn'tsay I'm similar, but for me,
it's always like I'll hear the newsor whatever. Usually after i find out
(12:54):
that somebody closest past I'll like,I'll get a fever. Apparently me like
that's very common for me. Yeah, I'll get a fever and then I'll
basically like just fall asleep for afew hours and just really just like and
then it just sort of feels likea knife, just like a scar,
basically just sort of lingers. Likewe were talking about before we started recording,
(13:20):
I've always been highly emotional. AsI've gotten older, I've sort of
gotten numb to certain things too,especially when it comes to like death.
It's sort of like I'm in aposition where because I experienced like close deaths
very early on, like ten yearsold, I went through all like that
(13:43):
kind of like really intense stuff atthat time, and so I'm like,
Okay, lost this person, sortof feel it in that moment, go
through like the week or two whereeverything is really raw, but I know
there's another side to this grief.Not that you ever over grief, but
there's another stage that you get towith it where it's like acceptance you have
(14:03):
those tender moments and stuff. Butfor me, it's always been sort of
like a piece that I have withmyself, like, oh, okay,
at some point, my welcoming committee, I'll see all of them again.
That's why I call it my welcomingcommittee. I don't have like a strong
bond with like any particular religion orwhatever, but I have this strong feeling
that there's something else. However itends, I'll end up with them again.
(14:28):
So that's why I will look atit like, Okay, they're just
they're waiting for me wherever they are. They're doing what they need to do,
preparing for me to get there whenit's my time to get there.
So I'm good. I'll miss them. I miss them, but things will
be all right. The one thathit me the hardest most recently was my
(14:50):
aunt's death, of course, intwenty nineteen. That one was like the
first time where like a parental figurein my adulthood. My grandmother passed when
I was ten. I was likea perenthal figure because we spent it's a
lot of time with her, butum my aunt cookie like we were at
her house basically all the time fromthe time that I was like in like
the fourth no, like maybe thirdgrade through like sixth grade. We were
(15:13):
after her house every day after school, every weekday, um, because we
still went to school in Oakland,but my mom we lived in San Pablo.
My mom worked in Oakland, wentto school in Oakland, so we
would just go to her house afterschool. Um. And even after we
started going to school in Richmond,um still at her house like basically all
(15:35):
the time doing talent talent shows andstuff. So a lot of her like
ways, she taught me how tobe a black man in certain ways,
like just to how to carry myself, how to show respect to myself and
for myself and stuff. And sothat death really that put me with the
new therapist, Like yeah, becausemy first therapist he when I made my
(16:02):
point with him. I think Italked about this before on the show where
um I told him like, yeah, I'm not passed and I'm like processing
it and he's like, well,so sorry to hear that, but you
know, people, people get older, they die, And I was like,
oh, this is it, thisis the this is it. This
was like a week not even aweek after that. This was yeah,
(16:23):
this is about a week after Ihadn't even gone back to work yet,
I don't think, And I waslike, this is it, Like in
the session, this happened maybe likethe ten first ten or fifteen minutes in
an hour session, and the wholetime I'm sitting there trying to offer up
some stuff and be vulnerable and shareit. And I'm like, I don't
want to share too much because I'mnot coming back like this is yeah,
(16:47):
this isn't it, This isn't gonnabe it. Yeah. Um. But
I realized as I got older andjust working with my current therapist, I
realized that I didn't get a chanceto process like my grandmother's death when I
was really young, because there wereso many strong emotions that were happening in
my family at that with that one. And I guess that's one thing that
(17:07):
I noticed with death and grief andstuff. It's really hard or it's important
for me to recognize my own emotionsand other people's emotions. I recognize that
with my own emotions the way Iprocess stuff, I'm like you, where
I was sort of intellectualized things,I'm very cerebral with how I think about
things, um and understanding that it'sa process like everything. The way that
(17:30):
people die is a process, likethe end stage of life. This is
dark. How do we get onthis topic? How don't we just jumped
straight into this? I just feellike, for the record, before,
right before we started recording, wewere talking. We were having a good
conversation. So this is a goodconversation, don't get me wrong. But
(17:52):
she asked me, do you haveanything you're passionate about? Like, I'm
not sure, And then this youhad the opportunity to choose a different topic.
But I was just very interested becauseI know with the holidays coming up,
you know, and probably and thereare probably many many people who who
listen who have like the same experienceyou have with the end of the year
(18:15):
or we have essentially for the endof the year. It is just like,
man, like, how are wegoing to get through this? Like
what are we doing to to reallyprocess this? And I think sometimes it's
it's good to kind of talk abouthow we process certain things, um not
to open you know, old wounds, wounds, but to just understand how
people process things, because there arepeople I think that are on both the
(18:37):
ends of the spectrum like you andme, where you have the highly sensitive
emotion highly emotional person like me,and you also very emotional but also very
cerebral, where you are processing thingsintellectually and you're experiencing the emotions. You
may not be expressing the emotions andthe way that people assume that you should,
yeah, but you're still experiencing them. And I think for you,
(19:03):
for people like you, it's sortof like a disservice. How people look
at people like you were It's like, oh, they can take anything,
they can, they just roll withthe punches. You're still experiencing those things.
You're still experiencing grief the exact sameway that everyone else is. It's
just that you haven't been conditioned toshare those things and to express those things
and feel comfortable expressing those things.And I think that's a disservice to a
(19:26):
certain extent. I know, sometimesit's also like Okay, you don't need
to express it in that way oryou don't feel compelled to, But also
to have the room to just havethat moment if you want to, Yeah,
well, I think that I've hadthe room. I just think that
I haven't felt safe enough to bethat vulnerable with a lot of other people.
(19:52):
And that safety is really important.And now that I have that safety
to be that von and not feeljudged or turn into a spectacle or you
know, ridiculed for whatever reason.I think that it's like now I'm learning
like maybe maybe I was a verysensitive kid. I don't know, but
(20:15):
I ended up just like by secondor third grade, like I just turn
it to the tough kid, likeI had to take everything on the chain
and just like keep it and keepit pushing, you know, fear.
What's that like? Oh, likeyou know, it's you know, why
do you want to cry? Whyare you doing this? Blah blah blah,
(20:36):
And it's like, no, yousuck it up. Not that that
was a I don't know. Ican't remember. I can't point to a
time that I was ever told tosuck it up or told to stop crying,
or told to not show emotion oranything like that. I just think
that especially going to public school,just being in being in public, being
(20:57):
in school period, um, therewas never really a safe space for me
to to cry, and never orto not even not even to cry,
just to feel anything other than elation. Um, in high school, I
was always told, oh my gosh, you're always so happy, like how
how are you always so happy?How are you always laughing? Like you
(21:18):
never get upset? You never?And it's like, I right, there's
no there's no place, there's nospace for that, Like there's not a
if there's any other way? Wereyou here? Fix your attitude right right?
And you're like you know, like, oh you know what got you
so angry? And it's like no, if you want friends like you gotta
(21:40):
you gotta put it on, likeyou're like, you're good like an honey,
right. And so I think Itook that. It's just that a
little bit too far. And nowthat I'm in my thirties, I'm like
learning how good it feels to justhave that emotional release, whether it is
um laughing really hard hard, orbeing upset and feeling upset in the moment
(22:03):
and then letting it pass or cryingor just feeling whatever the feeling is,
instead of instead of intellectualizing it andsaying, well, yes it is,
it is okay for me to feelthis way because so and so did so
and so, and because they didn'tdo this after I expressly set this like
I can feel this way blah blahblah blah, and then instead of feeling
(22:26):
the feeling. The feeling is nowanalyzed, and now it's like, well,
then I don't feel like I shouldbe upset because they probably were doing
something for them. Blah blah.And I'm doing all this talking, all
this thinking about how I'm feeling whatI'm feeling instead of just feeling the feeling
and letting the feeling pass. Ispent more time rationalizing it than I did
(22:48):
actually just feeling the feeling. Sonow that just at them than this would
feel I'm I'm really working on.And I was, oh, my gosh,
it just talks about this last night. I'm really working on. No,
I didn't talk about this. Iwrote about this earlier today. Being
more expressive with my emotions in thosesafe spaces and being okay with whatever happens
(23:19):
in that space, whether people acceptor reject or ignore whatever, but just
being in a being in a placeto just feel myself and just to be
that and not having to and nothaving to mask, because that's a lot
(23:41):
of what I was listening to afew different psychologists who were talking about the
difference between code switching and masking,especially when especially like not being the eurocentric
white person who's the standard for everythinghaving to mask yourself, whether you're in
(24:02):
education or professional settings, or evenat the grocery store. You know,
it's like, you're we go tothe grocertore, what are you told,
like, Hey, you better keepyou hands in your pockets, and you
know, make sure you act right, don't say nothing, don't ask right.
So if you hear your favorite songin the grocery store, can't you
dance? No, you were toldkeep you hands in your pockets. Just
you better, you better walk straightbehind me. And that's what it is,
(24:26):
like, I should be able tosee you, you see me at
all times. And so it's like, but other people they hear their favorite
song on the store, they're ableto just experience it as it's happening.
Yeah, So it's really interesting whenwe talk about masking and we talk about
different ways it has manifested itself,especially in our communities, like talking about
how grief is affecting us and howwe process that grief, especially during this
(24:49):
time. It's I think it's it'sa good conversation so that people don't feel
weird about isolated, Like you're experiencingthese things and thinking that nobody else is
going through them and that's one thingthat I can credit my mom with.
(25:10):
When she lost her mom when Iwas ten, she was very open about
all of the emotions appropriately actually,like she wasn't like inappropriately open about it,
like she was careful to hide certainstuff from us or sort of keep
certain things from us, but shewas very open about what she was experiencing
and how it was affecting her.And so that made it so that we
were also encouraged to share a lotof our reactions to that loss. I
(25:37):
realized now that I'm older, thatpart of why I was still why I'm
still processing it because I was soyoung. I wasn't able to say goodbye
the right way because we were onlyten, Me and my brother, my
twin we're only ten at the time, so we were like the only two
who weren't allowed to go in tosay a properly goodbye. So yeah,
(26:00):
that manifests itself as like a lossof control. But that's a whole other
story. But it's interesting, likethe different ways that we mask ourselves,
like grief, like hiding our griefand just sort of just putting on and
just keeping going and stuff. Andthen one that I'm managing now not to
change the topic. But it's ina similar way with feeling safe enough to
(26:22):
open up to people, like withjust even living with like chronic pain and
that kind of thing. Because I'mexperiencing a lot of fiber myalogy issues and
so I'm realizing that, like I'mjust opening up to more people than I
realized that I wanted to open upto about like, yeah, fiber mialoger.
So I deal with fatigue and painand stuff. And so I'm seeing
all these different doctors trying to getthe neck issue under control. Which since
(26:48):
I'm feeling comfortable with those people,I'm able to get advice. They're like,
well, yeah, I've heard trythis kind of chiropractor, or try
this kind of treatment and stuff,and the stuff that I wouldn't have considered.
So I say that to say,the more that you do open up
to other people, as difficult asit may be, it can sort of
open different paths to not getting overthings. I hate that phrase getting over
(27:11):
things. How to manage things,how to manage your grief, how to
manage your pain, how to managejust like how you experience the world.
Because if you have a strong manager, as my therapist calls it the managers
in control. If you have astrong manager who knows what he's doing,
who's been trained well, then whenyou are faced with like crises and stuff,
(27:33):
then it's like, okay, everybodygo through what you need to.
The managers in control, we're notgoing to lose control of this department.
To keep everything under control. Basically, open up to people. If you
feel comfortable doing so, you willget advice, you will get help,
you will get a shoulder if youwill. As corny as that sounds,
(27:56):
that sounds corny, didn't it.It didn't sound so corny until because it
it didn't sound some horny because honestly, I think that people don't really consider
the benefits. They get scared about, like, oh my gosh, we're
gonna look at me crazy. I'mexperience this this which goes back to the
safe space thing, like how doyou know when just like you were saying,
(28:19):
how do you know when you're ina safe space to express those emotions
and stuff and to have that cryand to have that real gut laugh,
like your real laugh, which mostpeople probably haven't heard your real laugh before.
Right, it's a good laugh.Honestly, my laugh is very loud,
(28:40):
but it's a real authentic laugh whenyou're good. It's a good,
good laugh, like it relieves somuch stress and I can laugh like that.
Yes, But how do they know, because sometimes you might face judgment
like, oh wow, you laughloud or that kind of thing. I
don't think you've ever heard that forme. No, right, it's just
like no laugh. It's like,once you get to that point when you're
(29:03):
around me, if you start laughinglike that, I'm gonna do more to
make you laugh. No, you. I think the first time, one
of the first times, I don'tthink it was the first time, I'm
not sure, but one of thefirst times that I can remember when I
laughed really loud like that, youjust start laughing and then we just couldn't
stop laughing, and it was like, don't even know what we were laughing
(29:25):
about, but it just kept going. I feel like, I feel like
that's kind of where you have tobe more confident. Is that the word
that I'm looking for, secure,securing yourself of Hey, I'm going to
(29:48):
try to don't give the person thewhole mile, give them aniche. I'm
gonna try to, you know,give this person a little bit and if
they can be trusted with this littlebit of vulnerability, then I can open
up more. And then if theyexchange their vulnerability with my vulnerability, then
I know that I can open upmore and we can create a space that
feels comfortable. And if they crossa boundary or make our cause and offense,
(30:15):
then I can let them know becausewe're in this vulnerable space that this
is not okay right now for me, and just being able to kind of
talk through those things, it makesit it makes it easier to create that
space. And I only say itthat way because that's honestly, that's been
(30:36):
the path that I've been on forthe past like six months. Is just
kind of like opening up a littlebit, they open up a little bit,
I open up more, They openup a lot more. And I
was like, oh, that's howthat's done. It's like, Okay,
I gave you a little bit andnow I know your childhood. How are
(31:00):
you so comfortable with just like andit was just like, oh, this
is me, I mean yeah yeah, But also how did you know that
this was like a cool space todo that? It was like, well,
if you didn't judge me for this, like you're not going to judge
me for this, and so I'mnot wrong, but how did you know?
Right? Like? How are youso? And so I think that
(31:22):
seeing that example and being part ofthat example helps me to say, Okay,
well, I don't need to changewho I am and be super expressive
with my emotions and be over thetop this way or that, but I
can start to feel my feelings andnot rationalize them. I can start to
(31:45):
you know, when I'm when I'mfeeling upset, when I'm feeling angry,
or when i'm feeling you know,really sad about something, or when something
does make me emotional one way oranother, because there's so many different emotions.
When it was like, there wasan I'll probably never forget this as
long as I live. I wasfeeling just like good Golden Girls. Blanche
(32:09):
Devereaux called it magenta because she saidshe doesn't like the color magenta. You
don't really feel yellow, you're notreally feeling blue, you're not red with
anger and all these other colors.And then she says, so you're just
magenta. It's just blah. Youdon't know how to feel, You just
feel lah. And I was justlike, yeah, that's pretty much how
I'm feel it right now, butI'm like I can't get out of it,
(32:31):
Like nothing is like pulling me outof it, and I don't And
the worst part is I don't knowwhat's causing it. If we're a person
who likes to rationalize their feelings,it's so frustrating. It's so so frustrating.
So I call and just like hey, no, no, no.
I text and I'm like, Idon't know what's going on, Like I'm
(32:53):
just not I'm not feeling it.Are you sure? I mean mostly like
I don't really. I tried watchingyou know, Scooby Doo, try to
watch a family guy. I triedwatching some of my favorite movies. I
tried um watching an emotional movie,and I just felt I just felt like
like I'm feeling everything and nothing atthe same time, and I don't know
(33:15):
where it's coming from. They calland stay on the phone with me until
I cry it out and was likeare you are you good now? Yeah?
Yeah, I'm good, okay,cool, Yeah, just get it
to open the top a little bit. Yeah. So it's just so it's
(33:39):
it's hard for for a person likeme who rationalizes and analyzes every single feeling
that comes through, because there hasto be something to describe where it,
where it came from, where it'sgoing, how it's gonna, who win,
what, why? Where? Um? But to just feel the feeling
like it's I think that it's greatthat I have people like you who who
(34:02):
can feel it, and I canwatch how you feel it. You tell
me how to feel it or howyou don't tell me how to feel it.
You tell me how you're feeling it, and then it helps me to
just let it pass. Yeah,it's like you sort of tap into Okay,
well he described this, so okay, I'm kind of seeing that and
just understanding that it's not like it'snot unusual. Oh god, I did
(34:28):
not want to sound like um,because I even now when I get when
somebody makes me upset, especially atwork, I'm like, nope, two
minutes and then I'll take I'll taketen seconds to try to see if I
can call somebody, and if Ican't call anybody, I'll get into I'll
(34:49):
get to the window and I'll yellat somebody at one of these other windows
back here and just be like,can't you believe what they did? I
cannot understand. And then I'll spendtwo minutes, tell them all the things
that happen. Some time it takesfive, but tell them all the things
that happen. And then I'm like, all right, cool. Somebody in
one of those buildings, like,oh god, Peter, she's coming back.
(35:12):
Somebody with binoculars, like it crossedthe way, just like up,
she's back at the window against itlooks like Sarah did something to Jenny.
Um. Yeah, it's good tolearn how to process your how to process
(35:34):
and manage your emotions because we can't. One thing that my my old therapist
told me is that you can't controlyour emotions. You're gonna feel what you
want to feel. Yeah, andthen you feel it, that's valid.
That's validation right there. If youfeel it, Oh, that's a whole
different thing. Oh my gosh,yes, rationalize it. It's like,
Okay, I'm feeling sad today.Okay, still sad, Like that's it's
(35:59):
value. You're okay, it's okayfor you to feel sad. But then
there's somebody in a worse position thanyou are, so you need to be
happy for what you have. Ihate that. I hate that line of
thinking. And it's weird. It'snot weird. It's it's also not funny,
it's ironic. I guess, likeon days like this where it's raining
and I'm very sensitive to like weatherchanges with my mood um, and so
(36:23):
today I was just feeling like,oh God, just angry at the world,
just mad, annoyed at everything.I'm like, it's fine, I
can feel this way. It's it'svalid. And a homeless person walking by
my window as I'm sitting here,I'm like, oh crap. It's like,
yeah, I can feel it.It's fine for me to feel it,
but like, yes, somebody elsehas it worse off. Yeah,
(36:44):
put it into perspective. It's notthat there was what did they say?
There was like an anecdote of ornot an anecdote. That's not the word
I'm looking for. There was anexample provided that said, even though I
have cancer, you can't It's notthat you can't tell me about your broken
leg. Your leg is still broken. Yeah, me having cancer doesn't change
(37:06):
it. Likes I'm just like,yeah, like, you can absolutely feel
how you're feeling. But I thinkit's I think it's more so in the
way that it's expressed that makes peoplejudge it, because if you're upset that
you know your pin ran out ofink, and you the way that you
express it is to throw the pinacross the room. I want to dial
(37:30):
it back. You might want tofind a better outlet for your emotions.
You can just get up tossing itin a trash can get another pin,
right, But some people would ratherhave the fight. Some people would rather
have the have the outlet because theydon't have any worldse to put it.
(37:50):
And so I just think that thewhole thing of having people validate your feelings
or you even trying to and validatethe way you feel because somebody has it
worse off than you. Know.You can still feel crappy, you can
still feel sad, you can stillbe angry. You know, somebody got
(38:10):
You know you wanted this car,but you had to settle for this car.
You know you really wanted that car, and you feel defeated by it.
But perspective, you got a car. Yeah, it's you can be
disappointed to some degree, but Imean you can feel however you want to
feel. I'm not telling you howto feel, but uh like it's valid
for you, not valid. Seeusing all these words that we're saying,
(38:37):
Oh, you can't. You don'tneed people to validate your feelings. I
can understand feeling disappointed by not gettingthe exact thing that you want, but
like if, like you said,if you want a specific car, is
it's sold out, or if it'stoo expensive or your credit is not good
enough, it's completely understandable to bedisappointed by it and still have some elation
(38:58):
over having the car. Yeah,like people are complex. You can you
don't have. You don't experience onesimple emotion at a time. You have
you are a complex network of differentemotions at any given time. Might be
happy with a thread, like there'ssome frustration but you're still happy, or
you're happy but there's a third ofsadness or something, or there's anger but
(39:22):
contentment to some degree. You canbe all those things at once. You're
complex humans. You can't experience allthese things at the moment you made me
think of inside out of just likehow she was sad that she lost a
game, but happy that her thather friends and family came around to support
(39:42):
her. Or even if you thinkabout like your wedding day, there's so
many different emotions, like you're excited, you're nervous, you're anxious, you're
afraid, Like there's there's so manydifferent emotions. Or you think about a
funeral and it's like there are somany sad things, but then you think
about all the happy times that arefeeling with love and care and compassion and
things like the celebratory nature of it. Yeah, there's there's so many different
things about about emotions that you thatit's it's very interesting that I take the
(40:07):
time to rationalize it and try totry to think about where it comes from
and how it's feeling and blah blablah blah. Um. Now emotions are
freaking weird. Yeah, because youdon't, I mean, you know why.
And a lot of times people areangry it like it's it's it's masking
something else. Yeah, And sothat's why it's like, Okay, am
(40:28):
I really angry or I'm sad aboutthis or I'm or am I disappointed about
this? Because of disappointment? NowI'm upset, and I feel like anger
is like the baseline. Um,just like that's the base emotion. Yea
primal emotion where that's like the firstthing where if there's any kind of like
(40:52):
a thread of negative. Yeah,usually you feel angry first you feel anxious.
Usually you're angry first, yeah,or like right, and it's like
why are you Why are you soupset? I'm not mad? Why And
when people it would be I'm notmad, and it's like they could be
very true, like they're they're notmad, but they're expressing anger. They're
(41:14):
more so disappointed and it's coming avaanger and like may not be mad,
but you're conveying mad. What isthat hiding? What's what's Let's figure out
where the who's that? Let's unpackthat a little bit. I want to
figure out what's going on. ButI feel like that understand it. For
me when I try to understand myemotions, it's more about not repeating cyclical
(41:43):
behavior. Yeah, I don't wantto put myself in a negative space,
or I want to recognize when apattern is starting so I can break it.
And it's not the best reason,but I realize that since I do
this anyway, I'm going to useit for good. Yeah, because if
(42:05):
I'm not processing my issues, aremanaging my emotions the way that I need
to be. Because I haven't.I haven't arrived. I mean I'll probably
arrive sometime in my forties. Youget there maybe eventually, but you know,
I just feel like it's now,give your like and I know we
say this a lot, but especiallynow, give yourself that space, give
(42:31):
yourself that grace, give yourself thetime, and you buy yourself can start
creating what safety looks like, Startcreating what vulnerability looks like for you.
What does peace in your space looklike for you? All these things,
all these comfort things, what doesthat look like for you? Jayson?
(42:53):
You get up, you have yourrecord player, you have your poster,
like, you have that zen inspace and you can create that like on
your own. I'm still working onmine, have quite a few pieces of
art that have not made it tothe wall yet, but eventually, Yeah,
(43:15):
but I feel like it's uh,it's it's really important, especially as
we're ending this year and starting anew just take some time to yourself in
the space. Figure out how youwant to be accepted, and be okay
when people don't accept you the waythey think you're supposed to be the way
you think you're supposed to be accepted, because they can accept you even more
(43:37):
than what you expected. They couldaccept you a little bit less or not
at all. In either way,it's good to be secure in yourself,
knowing that you're good and can laughas hard and loud as you want to
laugh, or soft and low.You know how. I'm not sure how
good guffog achortal good ball was oneof my words from two weeks ago.
(44:04):
Oh I love that word. Ilove that word. Oh my gosh,
I like k foot I like kotthat too. But yes, just take
the time to figure. It's easiersaid than done, way easier said than
done. Yeah, but once youtake time, it's kind of like starting
a garden. Once you take timeto really like till the ground, do
(44:30):
the fertilizer, set the stage.When people start to approach, you can
tell which ones are going to respectthe space and which ones aren't. So
it's gonna help you to be verycareful about the space that you've cultivated for
yourself. Yeah. Yes, that'sall that happened. That's that's enough.
(44:51):
I think that the mic Just throwyour mic off your desk. No,
oh gosh, no, yeah,I don't do that. You pay money
for that? No, no,no, no, no no no.
Yeah. So Jason, with thatbeing said, I really hope that this
holiday season is amazing. We're probablygoing to go to buy weekly. I'm
(45:14):
not sure yet. I'll talk.I'll talk one of my co star to
see what we're doing, because Iwant to make sure that we're all able
to enjoy enjoy this time with ourfamilies. So with that, Jason,
Yes, where can people find you? They can find me in the streets
if you want to fight. No, Um, you can find When are
(45:36):
you ever the street? When areyou ever in the streets? Sir from
Crenshaw? Remember when? Um,just a quick aside. Remember I don't
know if you saw this about ayear ago. Maybe, Um we're Safiy
from Flavor of Love. You rememberSafire, right, the one who beat
(45:58):
the lady up for hidden with aflower and she was like you want some
lip chap? Oh yeah, yea, yeah yeah yead her death a few
years like to your stop, LikeI had logged into Twitter, people cared
enough about her to thank her owndebt. I had logged into Twitter and
I saw like, oh rest inpiece of art. I'm like, oh
no, it's terrible. And thenI go to Twitter and it's like,
(46:19):
we are sorry to say that Safireor Winter Instagram and she did like a
story where it said like we're sorryto say, Safari has passed. We
were very saddened by this, andthen it came out like maybe fifteen or
twenty minutes later, like no,no, she was just trying to promote
lip chap. So with that said, Wow, With that said, yeah,
what I am a vault of uselesspop culture moments. You can find
(46:45):
me on Twitter and Instagram at JJUnderscore Newberry, probably TikTok. I'm gonna
post some TikTok's pretty soon. Playingwith that voice filter. I don't know
if you've seen that yet. It'sso weird. It is so weird,
but I'm excited to try it out. I need to find some movies,
probably do Holiday Heart actually, ohmy gosh, bless huh Blosster. But
(47:14):
yeah, you can find me inthose places JJ Underscore Newberry typing into all
the socials, it'll probably be myface. So I think he just unlocked
the memory of us at Sack Stategoing to a talk, remember the Hoppa
talk where he was he was talkingabout how people who are mixed race didn't
(47:34):
have like a checkbox until like theOkay, remember in the beginning he was
like doing he was doing pop culturereferences, and it was like who stole
who stole this something from American's NextTop Model And you're like, breethe and
I was like, how do youknow? How do you know that?
I don't watch the show, buthow do you know that Buddy stole the
(47:55):
granola bar? And so Brie pouredout all the red bull For those fans
of America's Next Side Model h afteryou follow Jason, please make sure to
follow take a Space podcast. That'stake a Space Pod, Facebook, Instagram,
Twitter, TikTok YouTube, um.I think that's I think that's everything.
(48:17):
That's where, that's all where weare. Please make sure to give
us a follow, give us alike, share you know, with all
the great things, and let usknow. How are you going to manage
your emotions? Especially during this timeholidays are around the corner, and yet
one that is like common but alsojust the holidays are stressful for a lot
(48:38):
of people, because the family isstressful for a lot of people. So
how how are y'all going to managethat? Don't look to the side.
Don't look don't look to the side. You're telling on some people. I'm
not telling on anybody because I Iam excited about this season. It's gonna
be I'm affecting greatness, so I'mgoing to it will be great, Yes,
(49:06):
it will be great. I'm soexcited for you guys. Know I
keep saying that I'm excited for yourmom. Not to diminish how you how
excited you might be. I'm excitedfor your mom to have everybody there that
I can't wait to go to thejump house with some dodgeballs and start paying
kids in him. Don't tell themtoo much. I'm sorry. I'm just
(49:30):
saying that's that's probably gonna happen.Do you know which niece or nephew you're
going to pelt first? Oh?Yes, the big one. Oh,
the big one. And when hewatches this, he's gonna know the big
one. He'll take you, He'lltake you, He'll die. No,
I'm gonna have a backup one,so i'd be like, oh, wow,
(49:51):
just give away your secret. Ihope you're listening to kids. Oh,
he knows about the jump punch.He knows about the jump punch,
Superman punch. Hi Joles, Thankyou very much, and I will see
you all next time. Bye.
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