Love Covers All - Juan Lee (Edited)

This week's guest is @juanleetheauthor

https://www.linkedin.com/in/juan-lee-the-author/

https://www.facebook.com/ClearJourneyInc

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Episode Transcript

(00:02):
When is the last time you madea mistake and how did you handle it?
Wow, last time I made amistake? Come on, now,
I'm married. I've been married fortwenty seven years. You know the last
time I made a mistake. Hmm. Let's go back to just this morning,

(00:23):
just a couple of hours ago.Yeah, just a couple of hours
ago. I wanted to wanted totalk, and my wife was sleeping and
I wanted to talk, and shewas like, I'm sleep, and so
I had to say, but Iwant to talk, and she goes,

(00:44):
but I'm sleep, And so Ihave to realize that when she's sleep,
and this is not something you know, uncommon to me, unknown to me,
but we're planned to get up andtalk, but she was still tired.
And because you have to understand ourlife, we caregiver for our mother
in law and so you know,we're constantly up in money, and so

(01:07):
I just had to say, hey, sorry about it, go back to
sleep. You know, I acknowledgethe fact that where I am and what
I've done, and you know,hey, ask for forgiveness and keep it
moving. Did it take you somelessons to get to that point or have
you always been just like listen,I'll take accountability. I know it was
my fault. Well yeah, Imean that that's basically you know, I

(01:30):
look at everything as a teachable moment, and so if that's the case,
you know, you got to beable to read the room. You know,
you got to be able to readthe room. And just because we
said that we were going to dosomething, she was up late and and
really things got really taken off alittle bit this morning because we had somebody

(01:52):
caregivers supposed to come in and allof a sudden, the caregiver didn't show
up. So now that throws awhole another little rink go into our day
when we had plans to do somethingand now we don't. So you know,
you just got to read the wrongmove with the flow. And we've
been doing this for some time,so it's a daily opportunity to adjust.

(02:15):
Okay, all right, Well,thank you everybody for tuning in to another
episode of Take Us Face Podcast.I'm your host Leah. This week,
I'm joined by jan Lee. WanLee is an author, he's a speaker,
he's a veteran. Thank you foryour service. He's also the founder
of Clear Journey and I am reallyexcited to have a conversation with him today.
We've conversed previously and even just beforerecording about the importance of having experiences,

(02:42):
the importance of understanding yourself and beingwilling to exchange information with different cultures,
different people, just as you growas a person. So I'm really
excited today to talk with you today. Thank you so much for being on
the show. Hey, thank youfor having me and looking forward to it.
I feel like they're we're getting backto this idea of the rugged individual,

(03:06):
where because so many people are onsocial media and they see the highlight
reels of everybody who's making it,and you know, they're getting all this
notoriety and the cloud and this andthat. When it comes to actually achieving
those goals, what I found isthat community and discipline is not a part

(03:27):
of their equation typically, and that'swhy a lot of people fall off because
you don't have that community that isgoing to support, like I said earlier,
the new you, or that youthat wants to pull away from what
you thought was right, and nowthat you've been enlightened, you're like,
Okay, I know I want toachieve this. How can I create that

(03:50):
community or environment that's going to supportthat. But then also on a personal
accountability level, I have to bedisciplined. I can't wait for the motivation
to want to do the thing,whatever that is, if that's teaching,
if that's going to school, ifthat's working construction, if that's building a

(04:12):
better life. I can't wait forthe better life to show up at my
front door. It's every decision,every choice, every habit that I create
in that discipline toward that goal.And I have found so many people don't
Without the community, you can't.You can't really support that kind of mode,

(04:41):
like that kind of goal. It'shard to be on your own and
trying to be disciplined where you don'thave other people. I see you,
you're doing good, Keep going,this was great, Okay, you should
probably do this a little bit better. Or hey, I have a connect
that can help you with this part. Or you know so and so used
to work in HR. You shouldprobably talk to them if you want to
learn how to interview better. Oryou should probably look at getting this certification

(05:04):
because it will help you move inthis direction. Or you should write that
book even if it's a short story. Start with writing a short story.
But I think that you know,you have some worse to say. And
if you don't really have that kindof group that's going to encourage you in
that direction or in the direction ofwhat you're hoping to achieve, that discipline

(05:25):
is going to slowly start to dissipate. As soon as that motivation goes,
That consistency is going to lack,and you're just going to be spinning your
wheels and it's like, well,this year, okay, next year,
maybe next year or the year afternext, and before you know it,
you're looking at the nursing home likeI should have, could have would have
Welcome to clear Journey, Come,come, come, be a part of

(05:49):
our community. And that's what we'rehere for you. We're here to help
you navigate through your life challenges,no matter what they are. We deal
with eight areas and they're all essentialareas that we can prepare you prepare yourself
so that when life's challenges come,you'll be prepared to navigate it successfully.

(06:09):
Well, let's tell people about theeight areas. Eight areas. The first
one is healthy lifestyle, health andwellness. You know, it's being able
to understand that you have to beresponsible for your that's your primary responsibility is
to take care of your health.Whatever that takes. That's your vehicle for
this experience. You have to beable to know what it takes to maintain

(06:32):
that thing. How do you keepit and live a healthy, healthy mindset?
And it goes to mentally and physically. You know, mentally, we're
coming around to understanding the value ofbeing able to take time to make sure
that your mental health is safe,it's cared for, and so that's a
part of it. So we dealwith a healthy lifestyle, and then we

(06:54):
talk about finances. We talk aboutfinances another very critical process of being able
to navigate this life successfully. Beingeducated and understand what it means financially literacy,
what does it mean? And thenwe talk about careers and employment.
How do you how do you showup in that space? Are you doing

(07:14):
what is important to you that makesyou feel good when you come in today
desiring to work, when it's somethingthat you desire to do, it's just
who you are. It's not ajob, it's not a slave. That's
where we should be aspiring to dois to do something that we really are
inspired to do. And if wecan find that inspiration, that thing that

(07:39):
inspires us. Then we don't haveto worry about being a slave to a
job because we're not working at jobs. We're working at doing what we enjoy
doing. And it doesn't matter whatit is. You could be a mailman,
a trash man. You could bea doctor, lawyer, you could
be an author, you could beany as long as it's what's important to
you, everybody. If nothing elsethat we learned in the pandemic is that

(08:03):
there's no there's no job that's notessential. There is no job that is
not essential. If it's a job, that means that there's a need,
and if there's a need, somebodyhas to do it, and we all
need each other. So then wehave that, and then we have relationships.
We have we talk about relationships,relationship building and things like that,

(08:24):
and that's across the board as anintimacy of personally or professional relationships. Those
are the things that we talk aboutalso, and then we go in from
there. We're going into self awarenessself development, whereas is that we have
to understand that life is about growingand developing, and we don't have a
time not to grow. We're onlyas strong as we are prepared for and

(08:45):
so that means that we have tocontinually build ourselves up, strengthen ourselves,
expand on what we already know.And that goes back to you know,
exposing ourselves to different things, yes, and that brings forward that ability to
you know, that self awareness andhow you show up based on what you
know about yourself. And then thatreally runs into another thing that we have,

(09:09):
and that's leisure and recreation or recreationand leisure how we want to put
it. And that's just understanding thatlife needs to have a balance. And
that's where we were talking about whenyou said you found the time you're going
to put some vacation in your schedule, and I was like, hey,
that's essential part of this experience,you know, is to be able to
put that in place so that youcan have a balanced life, because you

(09:30):
just can't keep going and going andgoing and not be able to settle down
and really take some time to exposeyourself to something new and exciting. So
then after that we have organization yourphysical environment, and that goes into being
able to how do you maintain yourspace so that it's in a place where

(09:50):
you can build on your successes.You know, it's very simple. I
mean in the sense that we havea tendency to put fires out. Instead
of preventing the fires, we lookto put them out. You know,
organization allows you to prevent the firesso that we can be able to navigate
and be able to build higher andfaster and better sooner, instead of having

(10:13):
to spend the time looking for thingsand not knowing where it is, or
finding out at that at the lastminute you miss something because you didn't know
that you missed it. And sothen there we are. And then we
have the final one, and thisis the fact that we talk about,
and this is the one that reallyencompasses all of them, and that is
humanity. We really begin to findout what we are, who we are,

(10:35):
and how we show up as ahuman being, as a human And
I think that's where love comes inand understands that we have one thing in
common, all of us. Idon't care where you are on this planet,
and if you stand tall and youare a part of the human caught
or the human race, we allhave that in common. And that love

(10:56):
is the thing that connects us allthe love for humanity. So we try
to pick put everything in so thatthere's no lost area that we don't have
to deal with. And because inthat last part we understand this experience is
just a journey, and it's justa temporary journey, and what we have

(11:18):
to do in that journey is toinvest in it not for not only this
generation or for this present time,but that we would invest into it for
the next generation so that we canpreserve and protect humanity for the next generation.
That's that's that's really limit that reallygives us a holistic approach on this

(11:39):
journey called life, i e.Clear journey. That's amazing, Honestly it
is. Because even if it wassomething if something like this was taught,
you know, in secondary school,like not waiting until you get to college
and you get to find yourself andyou know you have to have these experiences

(12:00):
and goes, huh, I thinkI'm the drama. Let me figure more
about myself. But if there was, if there were was was space in
you know, middle school, highschool, as kids are going through puberty,
as they're figuring out how to makefriends, as they're figuring out what
real friendship is and what it meansto show up and how they show up
and how they react to certain situations. And what characteristics they've taken on that

(12:24):
they may not seem fait like,these are not desirable characteristics. How do
I get rid of it? ButI don't know how else to be because
mom and Dad has always been thisway, my aunts and uncles have always
been this way, the people inmy environment have always been this way.
So I guess I'm gonna be thisway. And it makes it difficult when
people are faced with this idea ofwhat I was taught when I was younger

(12:50):
is not necessarily the truth or doesnot apply, or the shoes don't fit
so well now right. But havingaccess to a program like clear Journey,
I feel like could help people whoare willing to make connections that would help
them, especially after we went throughthis whole quarantine, this whole pandemic.

(13:13):
People have seemed to lost the abilityto connect with others except via social media,
but actually having real interactions, realhuman connection, and not I heard
this on a podcast and if Itreat you like this, you should do
this. No, that's that's nothow that works. Or I heard this

(13:35):
when somebody else said this, andI should do this so that you can
do this, and it's like,no, learn who people are at the
people level for who they are.You can't just group people and say,
well, I saw this happen,and so I'm going to apply this thing.
It's like you talk to the wronggroup, you talk into the wrong
one. You have to be willingto be vulnerable enough to make those human

(14:01):
connections, to love yourself enough toknow that you need community, love yourself
enough to want to be disciplined inwhatever it is you're doing, whether you
want a life of leisure, alife of work, or somewhere in between,
being disciplined enough to work toward that. But I think that sometimes people

(14:22):
lack that connection with others to seethat it is more than just about them.
It is more than just about theirbad day that they had. Like
their bad day could mean a lotto them. But in the grand scheme
of things, is it really gonnamatter in five years? Probably not.

(14:43):
It's not gonna matter in the nextmoment. True, if we only understand
the moment, because that's all wehave. See, that's a mindset,
that's that's a mindset to understand thatthings only so that they can pass,
They only come to pass, Andif you stay in the current moment,

(15:09):
it too shall pass, it tooshall pass, and so whatever comes through
that moment, we've got to understandthat. You know, the moment is
meant to make connections, and whenwe make those connections, then the moment
can be extended. But when wedon't make the connections, we're still wrapped

(15:33):
up in that moment and it's stilland it's passing us by. It's passing
us by, and so the valueof the moment is the connection. And
we're missing out on thinking that wehave to do this thing on our own.
There is nothing ever will ever beself sustained by itself. Nothing,
there's absolutely nothing that sustains itself byitself. It's impossible. We're here to

(16:00):
yeah, And until we realize andrecognize we have something to present, something
to offer, we struggle in thatarea first, you know, until we
recognize what we have to offer,it's kind of difficult to understand that we
are meant to connect to something else. See, you got to bring something

(16:21):
to the table to know that youhave to connect to and then you find
out where you fit. Again,that goes back to when I was going
to military. They not only showedme where I fit, but they gave
me what I needed to fit intowith You know, they gave me my
identity and I was able to meshthat into what I found about myself.

(16:44):
When you talk about discipline, theygave me the ability to be disciplined.
Now I have to demonstrate it,right, I have to demonstrate it.
See, until then, I didn'teven know what discipline was. But now
I understand what it looks like.And now I'm now I get the opportunity
to demonstrate it. Like commitment.You know, they showed me what commitment

(17:07):
looks like, but now I getthe opportunity to demonstrate it. I get
to say, okay, where amI going to demonstrate that commitment. I
get to set the goal. Iget to set the vision, and then
I say, okay, I'm goingto be disciplined to it, so I'm
going to be committed to it.I'm sorry to mean c interrupt, no,
glad, I I just had thisquestion. How do you, whether

(17:32):
it's sueclear journey or in connections thatyou have with other people When people say
what is discipline or I've never seendiscipline displayed, what resources or examples can
you give them to say this iswhat discipline looks like, this is what
commitment looks like I'm not saying that. You know, you have the whole

(17:53):
day with them and things like that. But if you were passing someone in
the airport and you just happen tobe talking and discipline came up, and
they said, well, I mean, I just do what I want when
I'm ready, whenever I feel likeit, And it's like, well you
should. You should probably get disciplinedin what you're doing. You'll probably see
more success. And they say,well, what is that? What is
discipline? What does that even looklike? Discipline? There's two parts.

(18:17):
It's very interesting because the way yousaid discipline is. One thing is it's
a system discipline. It's what youdo regularly over and over to discipline.
The other one it's it's about withoutsupervision. You don't need any supervision.
You're disciplined when you don't need anybodyto tell you what you need to do,

(18:40):
because you are disciplined to do itwithout any supervision, no or no
overbody's going to be looking over yourshoulder, nobody's going to be telling you.
You've got to be the motivation.You've got to motivate yourself to be
able to do it. When there'snobody around. See, we have a
tendency. And here's the point.It's to something. It's to something you

(19:03):
just don't you know. Yeah,because if it's no vat, we're disciplined
and we don't even know it becausewe'll do the thing repeatedly, over and
over again. It's just is notno benefit in it. There's no benefit
in it to us. And soas a result of that, you have
a tendency to not recognize but you'redoing your big discipline. You're disciplined.
It's just not no value in it. You want to make the value and

(19:26):
set the goal. And that's likewhat I'm saying, it's once you set
the goal, now be disciplined toit. Just because you set it,
now you got to accomplish it.That's the work. That's the constantly repeating
it over and over again until it'srealized. That's the discipline. That's the
work. One of the favorite oneswhen you talk about commitment, here's then

(19:48):
a good example of what a commitmentis. On an airplane, you have
a back you want to go parashotparachuting. Committed is jumping out the plane
to hit the ground, whether ornot the parachute comes out or not.
You're committed to hitting the ground.You jump out the plane. That's a

(20:14):
commitment. Now that means that there'sno off ramps, there's nobody to hold
on to, there's nobody to bringyou back in. You commit it to
going down. That's what commitment is. We get, we find things up,
and we go Oh, that's acommitment. Up until this point,
that ain't a commitment. There isno off ramps in commitments. There is

(20:40):
no safety There isn't no safety netsin commitment. You've got to understand when
you chose to get to jump outthe plane, going down was not an
option. Going down was not anoption. You were hoping that the parachute
was gonna come out. But whetherit comes out or you're going down,

(21:03):
gravity has never failed. That's whata commitment is. I have never heard
of put that way before, butI'm going to start using that. That's
what I mean, is that's havingbecause having conditions on a commitment is not
a commitment. It's a oh,we'll see The other one is love unconditional,

(21:26):
no such things. If there's conditionstoo, it's no love. There.
I can agree because if if Ihear that, if you love me,
I'll love you if only when youdidn't do this, how can I
love you? And again, it'snot about what they can do for you,

(21:49):
it's you on behalf of them.And see that's where we misunderstand that
that powerful word of love, becauseit's about it's not about what's in it
for me. It's about what I'mable to get, what I'm willing to
get. Commitment, love, it'son, there's no, there's no.

(22:17):
The greater the challenge, the greaterthe commitment, the greater the love.
They work together. So as youare in this journey, as you are
in this journey we call life,and you make connections with other people.

(22:38):
I'm sure you've had people who say, well, I want help, but
where do I even start? LikeI know you have financial literacy, but
I don't even make enough. OrI know you have you know, self
reflection, but I don't like totalk about my feelings or I know you.
I know you talk about relationships,but I mean people just got to

(23:00):
accept me for who I am andthe relationships I have is just a byproduct
of that. So absolutely you're right. So when people are are coming to
you to say that they want toengage in the program. You know,
whatever parts they're looking to engage with. What what is necessary a desire?

(23:26):
Okay, you know basically, youknow it's it's simple of this. It's
you're too sick and tired of beingsick and tired. You're sick and tired
and being sick and tired. Imean, as it relates to midlife young
adults, things like that, you'regetting tired of being sick and tired.
I mean that was me. Imean I was I was sick and tired.
I really got to the point whereI got sick and tired of doing

(23:48):
everything right that I thought and andand and ended up back in the same
place every time, not gaining,not growing, not not maturing, not
you know, there's so many wordsyou can put on it. But when
you get sick and tired of beingsick and tired patterns, yep, you

(24:10):
know, those are the ones thatwe want to help because you you've got
to desire, you want to change. You just don't know how to change.
You just don't know what it takesto change. I e. Those
that are in the church, they'rein the church. They want to change,
and they're hoping, praying, butthey've realized there's got to be some

(24:30):
actions. It's just not enough tosit there and hope and pray. You've
got to be able to demonstrate.You've got to actualize it, and how
do you actually put it into practice? Do what that is that you're saying
that you're committed to. See,it's we in. Commitment is critical because
it's like it's up until that level, it's like, Okay, I can't

(24:52):
do that. Well, what doyou mean you can't do it? You've
made the commitment prior to this challenge. Now this just means that you've got
to expand past this challenge. Thecommitment shouldn't change. Yeah, and see
that's where growth is. You know, I'm comfortable, but now I've got
to expand. I gotta get beyondthis. That's where it's pushing. You
know. If I use weightlifting asan example, you don't lift a lighter

(25:15):
weight to get stronger. That that'snot how that works. If you want
to get stronger, you gotta yougotta challenge yourself. Got to lift a
higher weight. Yeah, and thenthen you push that up a few times
when you get strong, Gotta geta higher weight. That's that's a challenge
of the challenges. But if youjust want to stay away yet keep lifting

(25:38):
what you're doing, and when somethingcomes up higher than that, you'll be
like, I ain't ready for that, and you just stop. No,
That's why I'm saying the beauty aboutthis journey is that you get to dictate
the opportunities to grow, to develop, and its ideally it's preferred to prepare
yourself for the challenge because it's notif they're coming, it's when they're come.

(26:02):
M h. It's not if it'swhen it's nothing new happening. It's
just how well you prepare for it. And what I find interesting is that
and people want to change or theywant something different, or they think that
or they they really only go bywhat's around them, right, they go

(26:25):
by what they see. You know, this is this is you know my
my the highest degree held in myfamily is an associate. So I might
be able to get to an associate. Can I ever be a doctor?
Probably not. Nobody in my familywas right or they say, well,
you know, I come from along line of X, Y Z,
and that's really where I'm going tobe. So visualizing myself being more than

(26:48):
that, or visualizing myself even gettingoutside of that, you know, entirely,
I don't know how to do that, or we get the other side
of Lord. I see what youdo for other people, do I see
what's happening behind the scenes, howmany times they fell on their face and
prayed, and how hard they worked, and the discipline and commitment they put
in. No, but I seewhat you did for them. For example,

(27:11):
when Sierra got married and she saysshe prayed a prayer, and or
even Viola Davis, you know,she says she prayed a prayer, and
all these all these people are justlike, well, what prayer did you?
How did you pray? Like itwas some magic like open sesame right
where if I say these magic words, you know, whatever I want one
materialized. Not understanding the inner workthat had to happen, because, like

(27:37):
you said, in order to getdifferent results, you have to do something
different. The hill doesn't get easierto climb, you just get better.
But in order for you to getbetter, you got to climb the hill.
Got got to put the work in. You have to because if you're
if you just say I want,I want, I want, but you're
still sitting on the couch you're still, you know, doing the same thing

(28:00):
day in day out right discipline inthe wrong direction. Then you're really just
working toward the same thing you've alwayshad, but without the new goals,
without looking seeking out new resources,without understanding that there's more than just what's
happening in your backyard, it becomesdifficult to see yourself as whatever level of

(28:27):
success that means. Some people justlike, Look, nobody in my family's
graduated high school, and I wantto graduate. I'm going to be the
first nobody in my family has evergone to college. I'm going to be
the first nobody in my family hasbeen at their job for more than two
years. And I'm going to bethe first to be at this job for
ten years or whatever to retire.I don't know how long retirement it is,

(28:48):
like fifty years or something like that, but I don't plan on working
that long. Oh Lord help me. But I feel like that there are
so many people looking for cheat codesthat they don't really. Cheat codes really
only work in video games, andthat's sometimes, but in real life,

(29:15):
real authentic, like you said,if it's not worth working for and you
get it quick and easy, it'sgonna leave just the same way, passing
by in the moment, thinking thatyou living in a video game is not
the way. No, no,And unfortunately that's that's prevalent in our society

(29:38):
today is emulating video games. Andthat's you know, there is no cheat
codes in life. And just becauseyou get that that that you know that
that big silver thing in the videogame or whatever that extra life is,
and you don't get none of themin life in real life. You've said

(30:00):
so many things that that is absolutelycorrect, and what it realized, you
know, it doesn't there's no timetablefor anyone to get to the point where
they say I'm sick and tired ofbeing sick and tired. Very true.
Okay, the sooner you get there, the better, But everybody has another

(30:22):
everybody has their own course to getin there. But that's really the essence
of it is saying I have I'mtired of hitting my head up against the
wall. I'm tired of being doingthe same thing, getting the same results
and thinking that I'm going to getsomething different, you know, and thinking
that I'm gonna get something different.That's that's a no winner. I mean

(30:48):
that you're basically looking at the thethe definition of mentally ill if you keep
doing the same thing over and overthen thinking thinking that there's going to be
a different result. It's proving itselfout over and over again, but you're

(31:10):
thinking that it's not going to doit. You know this time it's going
to be different. Right. That'sthat's the formula for repeating the same thing
over and over again. That's asuccessful formula. Okay, that's a success
formula. It's just giving you thesuccess that you're putting into it. That's

(31:30):
that's what That's where you have toget to so that you can begin to
see that there's another way. There'sanother way, and that's when you realize.
And again, that AHA moment forme was when I realized that there's
something bigger than me. When Itake my eyes off of me and put
my eyes on something bigger than myself, man, the opportunities begin to fall

(31:56):
into place, the opportunities, theopportunities begin to see things that you couldn't
have seen before because your perspective changes. It's not a selfish perspective, it's
a self less perspective. And that'swhere this vast opportunity lies, is being

(32:22):
able to see beyond your own backyard, as you say, you know,
and it's a big old world outhere, and every one of these humans
in it are resource for us tobe able to reach our best and most
profound potential in this thing called life. We need each other. We can't

(32:47):
do it alone. Yeah, Ithink it's tough sometimes when people become jaded.
I'll say, when disappointment hits hard, when you've reached out to say,

(33:08):
hey, do you have a fewminutes, or hey can we can
we chat for a bit, orgo to this movie or try this thing
or go to this vent, youknow, and no one ever reaches back
those those misconnections that you talked aboutwhen they happen a few too many times,

(33:30):
that disappointment in that passing moment setsin. It becomes bitterness. And
that's that's that's the space that clearJourney wants to be in, you know.
We want to be in that spaceto build a community that wants to
be there for one another and itreally to maybe they'll support you and help

(33:51):
you guide you on your journey.It doesn't, you know, it's not
about who what we don't have,it's what we do have, and unfortunately
we think we have to get tosome level to add value to someone else.
No, all we have to dois be authentically ourselves and it will
connect with those who need you.And if we can build a community that

(34:15):
has that every person is important,every person is, it has what is
sufficient and everything everybody is necessary,you know. And when we begin to
build that community and we can beginto see our value and how we connect,
man, the sky's the limit.I agree. I agree. I

(34:38):
think the it's hard to get outof our own way sometimes absolutely because the
majority of the tibe, we're theculprit, We're the one's holding ourselves back.
Right, It's not this person orthat person because I did never got
this or I never got that.Well you never showed up for me.
And it's like, okay, butyou're forty now, you should be able

(35:00):
to work on it so that youcan you can stop blaming X y Z
person for the lot you have inlife. You know. And it's it's
difficult sometimes to which which I understandand I can I can't empathize for a
moment that it is hard to forgivepeople who never ask for forgiveness or to

(35:23):
let go of disappointment or bitterness orfrustration, or whatever toward people. But
maybe you should stop reaching out tothose people. Maybe there is another group
of people who are willing to acceptyou with open arms. Maybe there is
another group of people that you canthat you haven't tapped into, that you've
ignored, that is willing to giveyou the time of day. But I

(35:46):
know that in conversations that I've hadwith some of the listeners here, a
lot of times they feel justified inholding on to that anger, that bitterness,
that resentment, and they feel likeit's not affecting them in any way.
But just like Wan said, likeyou have patterns. Those patterns create

(36:09):
your habits, and those habits areleading you to what you're doing today.
So doing something different can absolutely havea profound effect on what success looks like
and what success is achievable without havingto run your head into the wall or

(36:32):
keep looking at this glass ceiling.You said something very interesting, and many
people have the same answers that youjust expressed as it pertains to forgiving someone
for wronging them. And I thinkmany times we don't understand that forgiveness is

(36:59):
not for the other person. True, it's not for the other person.
It's for you to be able tomove past whatever they've done to offend you.
It's for you to move beyond itso that they not Because I'm gonna

(37:20):
tell you they have moved past itliving free. They have, they have
live, they have moved past it. M h and and I will I
will venture one hundred percent of thetime that they have moved past it.

(37:43):
And the reason why you need toforgive them is so that you can move
past it, so then you canbecome free from that bondage of that experience
that was not in your best interests. That's it's for you. Yeah,

(38:05):
don't don't you. You are allowingan experience again, something that we talked
about, a moment that's in thepast, to affect your present moment that
is in turn affecting your future moments. Yes, and until you allow up,
until you allow yourself the liberty andthe and the and the and come

(38:30):
from under the bondage of that mindset, you're going to remain captive to that
experience. You've got to forgive themif you want to move beyond them.
I want to. I want totell you this example. I know we're

(38:52):
about to wrap up in a bit, but I want to give you this
example. Well, two things.One, I think it was very on
point when I forgot who said it. But you know, holding a grudge
or holding that bitterness or holding outfor somebody to to ask for forgiveness without
you like just going ahead and forgivingthem and moving on is like you drinking

(39:13):
poison expecting them to die. Allthose emotions they're eating you up. They're
living good, they're good, butyou are being eaten up by your emotions
because they don't deserve your forgiveness.They need to come and ask you.
They need to kiss the ring,they need to do all these things,
and it's like no, no,no, no, you're the one who's

(39:36):
feeling this pain. But also onething that I talked to my I talked
to a friend of mine who hadcome from therapy. She was really raw,
and she said that she didn't realizethat how not forgiving her father for
the pain that he caused her hada affected all of her other relationships,

(40:02):
especially the romantic ones. And she'sand you know she's she's not you know,
just fresh out of high school.You know, she's she's lived quite
a life. You know, shelived quite a life. But she said
that once she actually forgave her father, It gave her a new perspective and
took the pressure off of her partnerto perform in a way that would suffice

(40:32):
as an apology from her father.And so you never know how the bitterness
you hold, the grudges you hold, or the disappointment you hold, how
it's going to come out in yourlife. It may affect your job at
work, like you may be aworkaholic because you feel like, well,
people call me worthless, so I'mgoing to outwork them and prove them wrong.

(40:54):
Or you know, people may havesaid that you were not good,
you know at X y Z,like we saw Michael Jordan still trying to
prove his middle school coach wrong.Right, And you don't know how these
disappointments, how these grudges may comeout, or how it may have affected
parts of your personality until you dothat self work, until you understand.

(41:16):
So I'm going to take some timeto give to you one to plug all
your things, your book, yourorganization. But this is a really really
great conversation. So if you haveanything to plug, go ahead and plug
away. Well, thank you,I appreciate it. Here's the thing,
clear journey is here for you.If there's a challenge in your life.

(41:40):
We want you to be a partof our community and we want you to
come and be a part. Sothat's the biggest thing. We provide you
service of education and connections to anytype of thing that you need, and
we covered them here tonight today theseven eight areas. And what we do

(42:00):
is we have webinars. We havea podcast that comes out a live podcast
that comes out of streams on Wednesdaynights. It's called It's Life Live.
Go to our YouTube channel, clearjourney dot org register subscribe. We really
would like to have you be apart of the community. And in addition
to we have webinars. And whenour next webinar is coming out, it's

(42:22):
going to be in May. You'llbe seeing some of the advertising on our
social media. It's going to becalled protecting your Finances because we've been working
on finances since this year started andwe've been talking about how you understand your
finances essential as we talked about earlyas it will be a part of every
area of your life. And inaddition to that, we've also started a

(42:46):
fundraising campaign. So if you wantto support us, we really would appreciate
it reach out to us. Idon't have the link. I will probably
have to let you know what thatlink is. I don't have it right
now. But it's a fundraiser.And what we would do is if you
give any amount, we would liketo give you a book. And the
book is called Budgeting Made Easy.We take some of the myths and the

(43:09):
hidden things about it and really findout about budgeting as being a benefit to
you. It's not supposed to tellyou about what you can't do. It
gives you the tool so that youcan reach your goals. That's what it's
all about. And so if youyou can support us by donating to us,
it's a fund it's a nonprofit.It's a one percent deduction on your

(43:30):
taxes. Whatever you feel free forgivingus, we appreciate it, and we
will send you an ebook and it'scalled how to Budgeting Made Easy. Also,
my book Love Made Simple, TheGuide to enter Peace, Contentment and
Success. You can pick it up. It's an audible, you can pick
it up on Alma Amazon. Allof these things help us to continue to

(43:53):
reach out and to support our communityin all facet areas areas of life.
I can't think of anything else.What's your social media tags Clear Journey,
Clear Journey, at clear Journey,or you could reach me at wan Lee.
My LinkedIn is wan Lee, butall of them other the rest of

(44:16):
them a Clear Journey, but YouTubechannels Clear Journey. LinkedIn is wan Lee,
and I have a YouTube YouTube andmy Facebook is a Clear Journey also
or one lead. There's a coupleof them there. You can do wand
lie because when I run, Iinitially my book, I authored my book,

(44:36):
I had a social media appearance,a presence, and then once I
came into Clear Journey, I gaveanother gave it another presence on the on
the social media space. So youcan reach me in either run of those
spaces at wan Lee or at clearJourney. And how long is the running
We're gonna run it probably through April, because it's up until the uh the

(44:59):
webin that we're going to have anApril when the April's webinars call about protecting
your finances, so build. Sobasically, as we're building building building,
we want to be able to protectyour resources, you know, either through
cyber security or even through people whoare helping you build your your wealth.
You want to be able to makesure that you're able to protect it.

(45:21):
Okay, Well, make sure thatyou click in the box below. If
you're on YouTube, Facebook, makesure that you check out all of what's
going on with Clear Journey. Checkout one Lee. Please show them love
and support. Thank you so muchfor being on the show. Did you
have something else to say? Iwant to leave you the link. I'll
give you the link to the fundraiser. Okay, so so that all that

(45:44):
information we posted when this goes out. Thank you so much for being on
the show. This was a really, really great conversation. I truly truly
appreciate it. Hey, thank youfor having me. Anytime you can have
me back, I appreciate it.Oh absolutely all right. Thank you so
much for tuning in. Please makesure to follow us to take us say
spot this, take us says pO D, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter

(46:04):
or now x but I still callit Twitter. Thank you so much everyone
for listening. Have a great day.