December 9, 2024 • 24 mins
Join us this Sunday at 6 PM CST as we explore the vital topic of mental health for parents and children. Host Atara Estes will use her expertise and heartfelt guidance to help you navigate the complexities of mental health with compassion and understanding.
In this episode, you'll discover: Practical advice for supporting your mental health while managing parenting challenges. Strategies to empower your children to cope with mental health issues. Inspirational stories and insights that affirm you're not alone in this journey.
Tune in to feel supported and inspired:
🎥 Watch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@AtaraTatuEstes
✅ Subscribe for more empowering content
💬 Comment to share your thoughts and experiences
👍 Like if you find our discussions helpful
↪️ Share with anyone who might benefit from this episode Your engagement helps us reach more people who need to hear they're not alone in their struggles.
Let's build a supportive community together! Mark your calendars! Every episode promises insights, comfort, and community. See you there! Visit ataraestes.com to join the journey towards healing and self-liberation! Resource: National Alliance on Mental Illness
In this episode, you'll discover: Practical advice for supporting your mental health while managing parenting challenges. Strategies to empower your children to cope with mental health issues. Inspirational stories and insights that affirm you're not alone in this journey.
Tune in to feel supported and inspired:
🎥 Watch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@AtaraTatuEstes
✅ Subscribe for more empowering content
💬 Comment to share your thoughts and experiences
👍 Like if you find our discussions helpful
↪️ Share with anyone who might benefit from this episode Your engagement helps us reach more people who need to hear they're not alone in their struggles.
Let's build a supportive community together! Mark your calendars! Every episode promises insights, comfort, and community. See you there! Visit ataraestes.com to join the journey towards healing and self-liberation! Resource: National Alliance on Mental Illness
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Greetings, greetings, greetings everyone, and welcome to another episode of
Tattoo Your Well Being Podcasts. This is more of a motivation,
but I guess we have to consider it being a podcast.
We are thriving after trauma, unashamed, and today I want
to share with your story and I guess we'll leave
(00:24):
a topic and a description of what we're going to
be talking about. But it's about a journey of resilience. Okay,
we fall on hard times, We walk through life not
knowing what our journey is really meant to be where
it's going to be, but we hear and the whole
(00:44):
thing is knowing how to hold onto your resilience. It's
a strong will to live and to thrive after surviving
such traumatic storms that has occurred. So you rediscover yourself.
You discover yourself through what storms have come brewing, and
(01:10):
you find yourself in these different spaces. But I want
to share something with you even more personal outside of
just my resilience, but some things that I could not avoid,
couldn't get away from. But it's about raising daughters, my
children who are not babies anymore, but they're young adults
(01:32):
through trauma and mental health struggles. That really became a
reality for me as a mother with two amazing daughters.
I want to talk about the story of the strength
that it took, like I said, resilience and the love
(01:54):
that you have to display unconditionally to let your children
understand you're there for them. This is going to be
a story about woman who has face Trump, yes, battled
her own mental health struggles, and who through it all
is raising two remarkable, beautiful daughters who also have their
(02:19):
own challenges to face. And this woman is me. Woman
is me and my daughters are my world. Okay, I
want to get through this. My journey has taught me
that love is really powerful, a powerful healer, that resilience
is born from pain, and that we are never above
(02:43):
or alone in our battles. I don't know how it's
going to go, you know, but bear with me, hear
me out. If you haven't done so, just tune it in, subscribe,
click like, and share it with others, because this right
here is another level that I want to really let
(03:05):
you know what my mission of doing these podcasts and
how the vulnerability of where I'm at is really making
me stay focused on the mission raising a daughter with
mental health issues. Is not something I ever anticipated. You
(03:25):
couldn't have told me that I would be going through that,
and that I had to embrace the journey with all
the strength that I had and have and still do today.
Even though they are an adult, young adults that is,
they need that advice. They still need to be educated
(03:49):
so they can hold on to their voice of advocacy
of when things are not feeling well going well, just
not understanding why I'm feeling this way, and give themselves
grace when it feels unbeknownst to what is really happening.
This mama gets tired, but I'm sure my daughter is
(04:11):
more tired than what I'm feeling on the outside, because
I wish I could take that from her, knowing that
I battle with my own mental health issues. But we
are in it together, and life has put us through
things that no young person should, I feel they should
(04:31):
ever have to endure, especially alone. Some of that trauma
stems from what happened to me, and she almost lost
me her mother when her father tried to take my life. Okay,
so a little bit more backstory of why this is
(04:51):
very important to engage today. The kind of trauma, that
kind of trauma of being a young person dealing with
doesn't just disappear, even though doctors tried to let me know, Oh,
she will outgrow it. Don't worry about it. Just raise
her as healthy as you can. And it doesn't only
(05:13):
affect the person who lived it. It affects everyone connected
to that person. So understand those who witness the struggle
and carry the pain along with us. Please don't dismiss
them ful feeling like they are not they don't understand
the understanding it that they don't want to see you
(05:36):
suffering and they wish they could take that pain away.
So have an understanding where it comes in saying about
that secondary trauma. And when we think of trauma, we
often think of it as something that happens to one person.
But trauma is like a ripple. It touches everyone close
(05:56):
to the person who experience it. My daughter was able
to walk alongside me and as I thought to navigate
my own trauma, which watching as I struggled my emotions
up and down. I had to fight and regain control
(06:17):
over my own life for a period of time. And
we have good days and we have bad days. You know,
self awareness is very important in not being in denial
when you know that something isn't right. She experienced what
(06:37):
we call secondary trauma. Well, it was both daughters. I
had another daughter after the situation, and even her being
in the midst of had residue of some of that trauma,
the trauma of witnessing her mother face those dark days,
managing triggers and overcoming the reminders of violent it pass. Yeah,
(07:02):
my daughters, both of them carry their own trauma triggers
today and it shows. And as their mother, I've often
had to set my pain aside to focus on them,
put in their knees first, always being their well being,
their mental health, and their happiness have always been my
(07:25):
type priority and will always remain to be my type priority,
regardless of them living on their own independently. I'm not perfect,
okay not please. By no means am I here to
say anything of a perfection. I don't pretend to have
all the answers I have my experiences, but I'm here
(07:48):
for them in every step of the way, no doubt.
Now we're gonna know that. One of the most important
things I've learned as a mother and a trauma survivor
is the power of advocacy. Mental health struggles are real,
and they're often misunderstood or stigmatized. See I had to
(08:10):
teach my daughters from a young age to advocate for
their very own well being, to never feel ashamed of
what they're going through. We have some stories that I
can tell, but it's not for me to share all
of that. I just wanted them to know that their
voices mattered in those situations that we had to go
through that I had to coach them through. That they
(08:34):
have a right to be heard. Young people have a
right to be heard and that they deserve support and understanding. Okay,
if they couldn't find the words, I will step in
no doubt and speak for them. The reason being because
we as adults will shut out what a young person
(08:55):
is actually feeling, and we will miss the very opportunity
to hear them. Everything that they're saying is not about
bad behavior or trying to just get attention. There's something
really wrong and we need to listen to them. I
made sure that I heard them. I did not want
(09:17):
to shut them out what their needs were med making
sure that they were mad and that they receive the
respect the respect that they deserve. We clash every now
and again Like I said, I'm not perfect, but learning
how to communicate and learning how to collaborate to get
well together have become our purpose. No, mental illness is
(09:43):
nothing to be ashamed of. I can't reiterate that enough.
And it doesn't define who we are. My daughters are
very strong when they want to be and when they
feel that they can, and they're beautiful, and they're very intelligent,
and and young women who happen to have their own
(10:04):
mental health battles have to teach them how to remain
and giving themselves grace when they're not feeling their best.
That doesn't make them weak at all. It doesn't make
anyone weak. It makes them resilient, very resilient. And I
stand with them, advocating and supporting, loving them through it all.
(10:24):
I can't do anything else but be a voice for
the underserved. Really, it's very important. Now. There's a unique
challenge that comes with being both a trauma survivor and
a parent of children with their own mental health issues.
(10:45):
The struggle is real, okay, and sometimes well, some days
it feels like a balancing act, you know, trying to
manage your own triggers and while you're also being there
for for your daughters as they're navigating theirs. And I
had to learn sometimes that the hard way. Most of
(11:08):
the time that I couldn't pour from an empty cup.
I'm emotional, I'm not upset, Okay, I had to take
care of myself, and that's what I want to make
sure you understand, so I could be there for them.
And you want to be there for your children if
you're battling with your own and you are parent who
(11:28):
have children who have physical or mental health issues. Look,
I'll admit, Look, there were times when I had to
set my pain aside because my daughters really needed me.
As a parent, we often put ourselves last. Well, this
(11:48):
parent just me not wanting my daughters to feel like
they had to go outside, to go to someone else
to get attention or bad attention, I would say, if
it wasn't healthy, and not all attention is good. So
we prioritize our children's needs sometimes at the expense of
(12:11):
our own well being, and that's when you need to
really know what you need to do. And while self
care is crucial. I couldn't and I wouldn't change a
thing about the way I've raised my daughters because I
did everything I could knowing that there were other ways
that I had to pick up new skills, and knowing
that they don't. They are my world, So why would
(12:32):
I not want to try to find a way to
make things better. I've been given bad advice from people
who just didn't understand mental health struggles, and it's not okay.
But it's okay to understand they didn't know either, So
you have to be okay and not be okay when
(12:55):
someone is trying to give you advice on something, then
they don't have a clue. Look, nothing else matters, like
I said, not even my own. I wanted to give
them love, support, security, and sometimes that meant putting my
own issues. Once again, I'm that right to die, and
I know that that means I make shorten my own
life for doing that. But my girls did not ask
(13:18):
to be here, So that's sacrifice I was willing to make,
and I would make it over and over and over again.
But I would use the wisdom the skills that i'm
more eligible to apply to myself before I just really
just give it all the way. I have more wisdom
(13:39):
now and more knowledge and a lot more understanding to
what I can do versus what I cannot do now
despite the challenges. I have always believed in teaching my
daughter's resilience, and they didn't know that they had what
I was teaching them in them all along. That is
something that you have to empower children with. I want
(14:02):
them to know they are capable, They are strong and
able to overcome whatever life throws their way. I don't
care if it's a physical disability to a mental They
are capable, They are strong, and they are able to
(14:23):
overcome anything life throws their way. Life is unpredictable and
we never know what struggles we may face, but I
want my daughters to be prepared and to have the
tools they need to face their battles with courage and grace.
One of the most important lessons I've learned and I've
started to share with them is to love themselves. The
(14:46):
importance of self advocacy is loving yourself. I've taught them
to stand up for themselves I really have that my
daughter is doing amazing, and to speak out when they
need help, and to never feel ashamed of their struggles.
And it is hard to share amongst their peers who
may not understand what that look like if they never
(15:09):
experience it. But listen to your friends. It doesn't have
to be that you have a true understanding. It's them
crying out for help. Just be there listening, and then
give them a resource that they're needing to help them
because we don't want them drinking their friends. Mental health
(15:30):
is a journey and sometimes we need help along the way.
There is no shame. Please, no shame. I wanted my
daughters to know. I want to keep you iterating that
we can reach out, we can act support for support.
We can also have a mother who would stand by
(15:50):
them every step of the way. I don't care if
it's the mother or the father, or the grandmother or
the sister, the brother, the uncle, the aunt. All hands
on deck, oh, hands on Dick, be there for the
children that's gonna need that help, that positive help, the
(16:12):
non judgmental help. Okay, I gotta get through through this.
Look through all of this. Faith has been a cornerstone
of our journey. I really am that woman. I thank
God every day for showing me a new way to live,
(16:37):
for giving me the strength to be there for my daughters,
and for guiding us through our hardest days. Oh, we
still have some storms that come in it's not gonna stop.
It's a part of life. It's a part of life,
and we are in this together. That's why I said,
this is not a battle that you have to fight along.
(16:59):
We never leave each other to fight alone. Now that
maybe sometimes that there's some anxiety that surface and some
words that can come out being disrespectful. There have to
be some boundaries when we're dealing with mental health struggles
and that person is in that I rate, you have
(17:21):
to pull away and hold on to a piece of
you so it doesn't get bruised by what you're hearing
that is being said that it's not them. You have
to give them time to regulate the thinking again, to
get back to themselves. And sometimes you just have to
shut down to say go to your room. It all depends.
It's not a one size fit all. Please understand, it's
(17:43):
not a one size fit all. You have to try
things that works for you in a healthy way, in
a holistic way. Our bond as a family is on
I pray for that. I hold on to that, and
our faith keeps us great. It reminded us that we
are not alone in this journey. And when my daughters
(18:05):
have a tough day, when they feel overwhelmed, I remind
them that they are never alone. God is with them.
I am here. God is with us, and together we
can face anything. Our family have been through so much,
but we are stronger together because of it, and there's
(18:27):
power intogetherness. We lean on each other, support each other,
and hold onto each other and hold one another up
when the weight of the world it feels so heavy
that oppression is real, it really is. Mental health issues
often come with shame or isolation, but mental health struggles
(18:50):
are nothing to be ashamed of. Okay, my daughters and
I have redefined that strength what it looks like for us.
And strength isn't about pretending to have it all together.
Please don't fool yourself. It's about facing your challenges, asking
for help, and doing your best every single day to
(19:12):
heal through it. In our home, we've created a new normal.
I would have them to come to the table and
we talk about mental health and about our struggles and
about our victories, and to give them the moment to express.
They can cuss, they can have a way they need
(19:34):
to get it out. They can scream, they can yell.
I can give them a punching bag. Whatever it is
we have different things to release that in us might
sound funny, but I would tell anybody to try it
before your knockings. It may save you from a lot
(19:56):
of other trouble when they get pent up anger. And
I always tell my daughter that anger leadst to danger.
You want to retreat from that fall back, because it's
just leaving leading you to a self destruction and you
don't want that. We celebrate the good days and we
support each other through the hard ones. My daughters know
(20:19):
they have. They don't have to hide their feelings, and
I will hope to reiterate time at the time after
time again, or pretend to be okay when they're not.
And actually you have to sometimes know your children and
see when they're not saying what they need to be saying,
and to tap in and say are you okay? No, really,
(20:43):
are you okay? They know they are safe with their mom,
their loves by their mom, and they're accepted just as
they are by their mom. If you're listening today and
you're raising a child with mental health challenges or physical challenges,
(21:03):
I want you to know that you're not alone. This
journey can feel very overwhelming, but there is strength in
the community. And support and in the love we share
with our children. And it's okay to admit that it's hard, hard,
that there are days when you feel like you're carrying
(21:25):
the weight of the world. But remember we're doing something incredible.
Oh wow, miss Kitty and making her parents her voices
being heard. You're giving your children a foundation of love, acceptance,
and resilience that will carry them through life. Take care
(21:48):
of yourself along the way. Please lean on those who
support you, and remember that it's okay to ask for him.
We don't have to do this alone, neither do our children,
and together we can create a world where mental health
is understood, where stigma is broken, and where our children
(22:12):
grow up knowing that they are enough just as they
are now. As I stated here today, I am filled
with so much gratitude for my daughters, for our journey,
and for the strength we found in each other. Life
hasn't been easy, and I'm sure there's more storms to
(22:34):
weather through, but it is and has been full of love.
They cannot deny the love, the resilience, and the growth.
And I'm proud of my daughters, of the young women
they are becoming, and of the courage they show every day,
and I'm proud of myself for being there for them,
(22:57):
for facing my own struggles, I could support them every
step of the way. To anyone walk in a similar journey,
know that you're not alone. Our struggles may look different,
but our strength and resilience bind us together. Love your
children fiercely, support them openly, and teach them to advocate
(23:22):
for themselves. Please, and most importantly, remember to take care
of yourself alone them. I thank you for being here today,
for listening, and for allowing me to share this journey
with you. May you find strength, resilience, and love in
your journey, and may we continue to support one another
(23:45):
in this beautiful and challenging and rewarding path of raising
our children through life's toughest challenges. Be blessed, be strong,
and remember that together we can overcome anything because there's
power and togetherness. Before we go, let me remember don't
forget to subscribe to this channel, like and comment to
(24:07):
share your thoughts. Please do. I would love to hear
what your thought and if you know someone who could
benefit from this episode, share it with them. Let's healed
together because we're thriving after trauma. Unasham and one day
at a time. Join the Tattoo Tribe on atarat estes
(24:28):
dot com, and until next time, stay strong, stay resilient,
and stay connected. Be blessed,
Greetings, greetings, greetings everyone, and welcome to another episode of
Tattoo Your Well Being Podcasts. This is more of a motivation,
but I guess we have to consider it being a podcast.
We are thriving after trauma, unashamed, and today I want
to share with your story and I guess we'll leave
(00:24):
a topic and a description of what we're going to
be talking about. But it's about a journey of resilience. Okay,
we fall on hard times, We walk through life not
knowing what our journey is really meant to be where
it's going to be, but we hear and the whole
(00:44):
thing is knowing how to hold onto your resilience. It's
a strong will to live and to thrive after surviving
such traumatic storms that has occurred. So you rediscover yourself.
You discover yourself through what storms have come brewing, and
(01:10):
you find yourself in these different spaces. But I want
to share something with you even more personal outside of
just my resilience, but some things that I could not avoid,
couldn't get away from. But it's about raising daughters, my
children who are not babies anymore, but they're young adults
(01:32):
through trauma and mental health struggles. That really became a
reality for me as a mother with two amazing daughters.
I want to talk about the story of the strength
that it took, like I said, resilience and the love
(01:54):
that you have to display unconditionally to let your children
understand you're there for them. This is going to be
a story about woman who has face Trump, yes, battled
her own mental health struggles, and who through it all
is raising two remarkable, beautiful daughters who also have their
(02:19):
own challenges to face. And this woman is me. Woman
is me and my daughters are my world. Okay, I
want to get through this. My journey has taught me
that love is really powerful, a powerful healer, that resilience
is born from pain, and that we are never above
(02:43):
or alone in our battles. I don't know how it's
going to go, you know, but bear with me, hear
me out. If you haven't done so, just tune it in, subscribe,
click like, and share it with others, because this right
here is another level that I want to really let
(03:05):
you know what my mission of doing these podcasts and
how the vulnerability of where I'm at is really making
me stay focused on the mission raising a daughter with
mental health issues. Is not something I ever anticipated. You
(03:25):
couldn't have told me that I would be going through that,
and that I had to embrace the journey with all
the strength that I had and have and still do today.
Even though they are an adult, young adults that is,
they need that advice. They still need to be educated
(03:49):
so they can hold on to their voice of advocacy
of when things are not feeling well going well, just
not understanding why I'm feeling this way, and give themselves
grace when it feels unbeknownst to what is really happening.
This mama gets tired, but I'm sure my daughter is
(04:11):
more tired than what I'm feeling on the outside, because
I wish I could take that from her, knowing that
I battle with my own mental health issues. But we
are in it together, and life has put us through
things that no young person should, I feel they should
(04:31):
ever have to endure, especially alone. Some of that trauma
stems from what happened to me, and she almost lost
me her mother when her father tried to take my life. Okay,
so a little bit more backstory of why this is
(04:51):
very important to engage today. The kind of trauma, that
kind of trauma of being a young person dealing with
doesn't just disappear, even though doctors tried to let me know, Oh,
she will outgrow it. Don't worry about it. Just raise
her as healthy as you can. And it doesn't only
(05:13):
affect the person who lived it. It affects everyone connected
to that person. So understand those who witness the struggle
and carry the pain along with us. Please don't dismiss
them ful feeling like they are not they don't understand
the understanding it that they don't want to see you
(05:36):
suffering and they wish they could take that pain away.
So have an understanding where it comes in saying about
that secondary trauma. And when we think of trauma, we
often think of it as something that happens to one person.
But trauma is like a ripple. It touches everyone close
(05:56):
to the person who experience it. My daughter was able
to walk alongside me and as I thought to navigate
my own trauma, which watching as I struggled my emotions
up and down. I had to fight and regain control
(06:17):
over my own life for a period of time. And
we have good days and we have bad days. You know,
self awareness is very important in not being in denial
when you know that something isn't right. She experienced what
(06:37):
we call secondary trauma. Well, it was both daughters. I
had another daughter after the situation, and even her being
in the midst of had residue of some of that trauma,
the trauma of witnessing her mother face those dark days,
managing triggers and overcoming the reminders of violent it pass. Yeah,
(07:02):
my daughters, both of them carry their own trauma triggers
today and it shows. And as their mother, I've often
had to set my pain aside to focus on them,
put in their knees first, always being their well being,
their mental health, and their happiness have always been my
(07:25):
type priority and will always remain to be my type priority,
regardless of them living on their own independently. I'm not perfect,
okay not please. By no means am I here to
say anything of a perfection. I don't pretend to have
all the answers I have my experiences, but I'm here
(07:48):
for them in every step of the way, no doubt.
Now we're gonna know that. One of the most important
things I've learned as a mother and a trauma survivor
is the power of advocacy. Mental health struggles are real,
and they're often misunderstood or stigmatized. See I had to
(08:10):
teach my daughters from a young age to advocate for
their very own well being, to never feel ashamed of
what they're going through. We have some stories that I
can tell, but it's not for me to share all
of that. I just wanted them to know that their
voices mattered in those situations that we had to go
through that I had to coach them through. That they
(08:34):
have a right to be heard. Young people have a
right to be heard and that they deserve support and understanding. Okay,
if they couldn't find the words, I will step in
no doubt and speak for them. The reason being because
we as adults will shut out what a young person
(08:55):
is actually feeling, and we will miss the very opportunity
to hear them. Everything that they're saying is not about
bad behavior or trying to just get attention. There's something
really wrong and we need to listen to them. I
made sure that I heard them. I did not want
(09:17):
to shut them out what their needs were med making
sure that they were mad and that they receive the
respect the respect that they deserve. We clash every now
and again Like I said, I'm not perfect, but learning
how to communicate and learning how to collaborate to get
well together have become our purpose. No, mental illness is
(09:43):
nothing to be ashamed of. I can't reiterate that enough.
And it doesn't define who we are. My daughters are
very strong when they want to be and when they
feel that they can, and they're beautiful, and they're very intelligent,
and and young women who happen to have their own
(10:04):
mental health battles have to teach them how to remain
and giving themselves grace when they're not feeling their best.
That doesn't make them weak at all. It doesn't make
anyone weak. It makes them resilient, very resilient. And I
stand with them, advocating and supporting, loving them through it all.
(10:24):
I can't do anything else but be a voice for
the underserved. Really, it's very important. Now. There's a unique
challenge that comes with being both a trauma survivor and
a parent of children with their own mental health issues.
(10:45):
The struggle is real, okay, and sometimes well, some days
it feels like a balancing act, you know, trying to
manage your own triggers and while you're also being there
for for your daughters as they're navigating theirs. And I
had to learn sometimes that the hard way. Most of
(11:08):
the time that I couldn't pour from an empty cup.
I'm emotional, I'm not upset, Okay, I had to take
care of myself, and that's what I want to make
sure you understand, so I could be there for them.
And you want to be there for your children if
you're battling with your own and you are parent who
(11:28):
have children who have physical or mental health issues. Look,
I'll admit, Look, there were times when I had to
set my pain aside because my daughters really needed me.
As a parent, we often put ourselves last. Well, this
(11:48):
parent just me not wanting my daughters to feel like
they had to go outside, to go to someone else
to get attention or bad attention, I would say, if
it wasn't healthy, and not all attention is good. So
we prioritize our children's needs sometimes at the expense of
(12:11):
our own well being, and that's when you need to
really know what you need to do. And while self
care is crucial. I couldn't and I wouldn't change a
thing about the way I've raised my daughters because I
did everything I could knowing that there were other ways
that I had to pick up new skills, and knowing
that they don't. They are my world, So why would
(12:32):
I not want to try to find a way to
make things better. I've been given bad advice from people
who just didn't understand mental health struggles, and it's not okay.
But it's okay to understand they didn't know either, So
you have to be okay and not be okay when
(12:55):
someone is trying to give you advice on something, then
they don't have a clue. Look, nothing else matters, like
I said, not even my own. I wanted to give
them love, support, security, and sometimes that meant putting my
own issues. Once again, I'm that right to die, and
I know that that means I make shorten my own
life for doing that. But my girls did not ask
(13:18):
to be here, So that's sacrifice I was willing to make,
and I would make it over and over and over again.
But I would use the wisdom the skills that i'm
more eligible to apply to myself before I just really
just give it all the way. I have more wisdom
(13:39):
now and more knowledge and a lot more understanding to
what I can do versus what I cannot do now
despite the challenges. I have always believed in teaching my
daughter's resilience, and they didn't know that they had what
I was teaching them in them all along. That is
something that you have to empower children with. I want
(14:02):
them to know they are capable, They are strong and
able to overcome whatever life throws their way. I don't
care if it's a physical disability to a mental They
are capable, They are strong, and they are able to
(14:23):
overcome anything life throws their way. Life is unpredictable and
we never know what struggles we may face, but I
want my daughters to be prepared and to have the
tools they need to face their battles with courage and grace.
One of the most important lessons I've learned and I've
started to share with them is to love themselves. The
(14:46):
importance of self advocacy is loving yourself. I've taught them
to stand up for themselves I really have that my
daughter is doing amazing, and to speak out when they
need help, and to never feel ashamed of their struggles.
And it is hard to share amongst their peers who
may not understand what that look like if they never
(15:09):
experience it. But listen to your friends. It doesn't have
to be that you have a true understanding. It's them
crying out for help. Just be there listening, and then
give them a resource that they're needing to help them
because we don't want them drinking their friends. Mental health
(15:30):
is a journey and sometimes we need help along the way.
There is no shame. Please, no shame. I wanted my
daughters to know. I want to keep you iterating that
we can reach out, we can act support for support.
We can also have a mother who would stand by
(15:50):
them every step of the way. I don't care if
it's the mother or the father, or the grandmother or
the sister, the brother, the uncle, the aunt. All hands
on deck, oh, hands on Dick, be there for the
children that's gonna need that help, that positive help, the
(16:12):
non judgmental help. Okay, I gotta get through through this.
Look through all of this. Faith has been a cornerstone
of our journey. I really am that woman. I thank
God every day for showing me a new way to live,
(16:37):
for giving me the strength to be there for my daughters,
and for guiding us through our hardest days. Oh, we
still have some storms that come in it's not gonna stop.
It's a part of life. It's a part of life,
and we are in this together. That's why I said,
this is not a battle that you have to fight along.
(16:59):
We never leave each other to fight alone. Now that
maybe sometimes that there's some anxiety that surface and some
words that can come out being disrespectful. There have to
be some boundaries when we're dealing with mental health struggles
and that person is in that I rate, you have
(17:21):
to pull away and hold on to a piece of
you so it doesn't get bruised by what you're hearing
that is being said that it's not them. You have
to give them time to regulate the thinking again, to
get back to themselves. And sometimes you just have to
shut down to say go to your room. It all depends.
It's not a one size fit all. Please understand, it's
(17:43):
not a one size fit all. You have to try
things that works for you in a healthy way, in
a holistic way. Our bond as a family is on
I pray for that. I hold on to that, and
our faith keeps us great. It reminded us that we
are not alone in this journey. And when my daughters
(18:05):
have a tough day, when they feel overwhelmed, I remind
them that they are never alone. God is with them.
I am here. God is with us, and together we
can face anything. Our family have been through so much,
but we are stronger together because of it, and there's
(18:27):
power intogetherness. We lean on each other, support each other,
and hold onto each other and hold one another up
when the weight of the world it feels so heavy
that oppression is real, it really is. Mental health issues
often come with shame or isolation, but mental health struggles
(18:50):
are nothing to be ashamed of. Okay, my daughters and
I have redefined that strength what it looks like for us.
And strength isn't about pretending to have it all together.
Please don't fool yourself. It's about facing your challenges, asking
for help, and doing your best every single day to
(19:12):
heal through it. In our home, we've created a new normal.
I would have them to come to the table and
we talk about mental health and about our struggles and
about our victories, and to give them the moment to express.
They can cuss, they can have a way they need
(19:34):
to get it out. They can scream, they can yell.
I can give them a punching bag. Whatever it is
we have different things to release that in us might
sound funny, but I would tell anybody to try it
before your knockings. It may save you from a lot
(19:56):
of other trouble when they get pent up anger. And
I always tell my daughter that anger leadst to danger.
You want to retreat from that fall back, because it's
just leaving leading you to a self destruction and you
don't want that. We celebrate the good days and we
support each other through the hard ones. My daughters know
(20:19):
they have. They don't have to hide their feelings, and
I will hope to reiterate time at the time after
time again, or pretend to be okay when they're not.
And actually you have to sometimes know your children and
see when they're not saying what they need to be saying,
and to tap in and say are you okay? No, really,
(20:43):
are you okay? They know they are safe with their mom,
their loves by their mom, and they're accepted just as
they are by their mom. If you're listening today and
you're raising a child with mental health challenges or physical challenges,
(21:03):
I want you to know that you're not alone. This
journey can feel very overwhelming, but there is strength in
the community. And support and in the love we share
with our children. And it's okay to admit that it's hard, hard,
that there are days when you feel like you're carrying
(21:25):
the weight of the world. But remember we're doing something incredible.
Oh wow, miss Kitty and making her parents her voices
being heard. You're giving your children a foundation of love, acceptance,
and resilience that will carry them through life. Take care
(21:48):
of yourself along the way. Please lean on those who
support you, and remember that it's okay to ask for him.
We don't have to do this alone, neither do our children,
and together we can create a world where mental health
is understood, where stigma is broken, and where our children
(22:12):
grow up knowing that they are enough just as they
are now. As I stated here today, I am filled
with so much gratitude for my daughters, for our journey,
and for the strength we found in each other. Life
hasn't been easy, and I'm sure there's more storms to
(22:34):
weather through, but it is and has been full of love.
They cannot deny the love, the resilience, and the growth.
And I'm proud of my daughters, of the young women
they are becoming, and of the courage they show every day,
and I'm proud of myself for being there for them,
(22:57):
for facing my own struggles, I could support them every
step of the way. To anyone walk in a similar journey,
know that you're not alone. Our struggles may look different,
but our strength and resilience bind us together. Love your
children fiercely, support them openly, and teach them to advocate
(23:22):
for themselves. Please, and most importantly, remember to take care
of yourself alone them. I thank you for being here today,
for listening, and for allowing me to share this journey
with you. May you find strength, resilience, and love in
your journey, and may we continue to support one another
(23:45):
in this beautiful and challenging and rewarding path of raising
our children through life's toughest challenges. Be blessed, be strong,
and remember that together we can overcome anything because there's
power and togetherness. Before we go, let me remember don't
forget to subscribe to this channel, like and comment to
(24:07):
share your thoughts. Please do. I would love to hear
what your thought and if you know someone who could
benefit from this episode, share it with them. Let's healed
together because we're thriving after trauma. Unasham and one day
at a time. Join the Tattoo Tribe on atarat estes
(24:28):
dot com, and until next time, stay strong, stay resilient,
and stay connected. Be blessed,
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