August 20, 2025 • 23 mins
What you focus on multiples, right? It’s totally natural to worry about the future, your aging biology in particular. But even though it feels useful -like you’re doing something, it won’t prevent the chronic diseases of aging. If anything, it will make them more likely. And it will make the years between now and then a lot less fun.
What worries you about aging?
send me a message: healthcouragecollective@gmail.com
Come visit my website: www.healthcouragecollective.com
Are you ready to give your cells their best chance to not have to stop living before they die by allowing them access to physiologic levels of hormones, but aren't sure how to even get started? Join the waitlist for my new beta program here and help me figure out how best to help wonderful women like you get the hormone care they deserve!
Come visit me: www.healthcouragecollective.com
email me: healthcouragecollective@gmail.com
What worries you about aging?
send me a message: healthcouragecollective@gmail.com
Come visit my website: www.healthcouragecollective.com
Are you ready to give your cells their best chance to not have to stop living before they die by allowing them access to physiologic levels of hormones, but aren't sure how to even get started? Join the waitlist for my new beta program here and help me figure out how best to help wonderful women like you get the hormone care they deserve!
Come visit me: www.healthcouragecollective.com
email me: healthcouragecollective@gmail.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What you focus on multiplies, right, It's totally natural to
worry about the future, your aging biology in particular. But
even though it feels useful like you're doing something, it
won't prevent the chronic diseases of aging. If anything, it
will make them more likely, and it will make the
years between now and then a lot less fun. You're
(00:24):
listening to The Health Courage Collective Podcast, Episode two hundred
and sixteen, The Antidote to Worrying about Aging. Welcome to
the Health Courage Collective Podcast, the show for women who
are too busy to slog through hours of generalized and
applicable and often contradictory health information, but too smart to
(00:44):
ignore that a few minutes of focused attention now can
prevent years of suffering in the future. I'm your host,
Christina Hackett, a pharmacist who doesn't want you to live
on prescriptions, a certified coach specifically trained to maximize your
potential at a compulsive life, and are obsessed with preventative,
cutting edge, holistic and integrated medicine. I'm on a mission
(01:05):
to increase your physical and mental resilience so you can
fearlessly look forward to your next forty plus limitless years.
Your time is down. Let's go well, my friend, and
welcome to this week's episode. I hope you're doing well.
How is your sixth vital sign? I doubt you've had
a chance to get it measured, but if you have,
(01:28):
then you are super awesome. The amount of muscle you
have on your body really is an indicator of your
health status and biological resilience. Muscle is not about vanity. Well,
it can be, I guess, but as far as what
we're talking about, the amount of healthy muscle you have
is directly tied to how long and how well you
(01:49):
will live period. Today we're going to talk about worrying
about aging. There's a lot that can go wrong as
we get older, all of our body systems affected, and
it feels very out of our control. We're taught to
believe that the majority of it is beyond our control,
a long, slow rot that we can't do anything other
(02:12):
than endure or maybe hope for a randomly granted above
average decline. Aging is something it's completely natural to worry about,
especially if you've watched and associated with your elderly parents
or grandparents or aunts and uncles. It can be pretty brutal,
and it is not for the faint of heart. Worry
(02:34):
gives us something to do. It can feel useful, like
we're preventing the worst from happening by preemptively worrying about it.
We might feel like we have more control if we
worry about certain aspects of aging, like at least we
won't get blindsided by diseases. But how does worrying make
you feel powerful, prepared, excited about the future. Probably not.
(02:59):
Even if you take some worry driven actions in the
name of helping your future self, the results are probably
not going to be as good as they could be,
and the process will not be very enjoyable. So what's
the antidote to worrying about aging? Wholly denying that it's
even happening, not caring about anything at all, becoming a
(03:21):
nonconformist who doesn't even live in the zip code of reality.
Maybe those seem like kind of the opposite of worrying
about aging. But if those aren't for you, then maybe
the ideas that I have to share with you today
will be Dale Carnegie, the guy who wrote How to
Win Friends and Influence People, wrote another book called How
to Stop Worrying and Start living. It has a four
(03:43):
step process for how to stop worrying. I say let's
double that to eight steps with some wisdom from Deepak Chopra,
William Shakespeare, Wayne Dyer, Byron Katie, Victor Frankel, Alex Korb,
and David Emerald. Are you ready? The first step in
our antidote to worrying about aging is to accept reality.
I know it seems obvious because it seems like something
(04:05):
we don't have any choice about, but we do. And
I think one of the reasons lots of people stay
stuck is because they don't accept reality. William James, who
died in nineteen ten, said, be willing to have it so.
Be willing to have it so, because acceptance of what
has happened is the first step in overcoming the consequences
(04:27):
of any misfortune. End quote. And I'm sure you know that.
In Loving What Is Byron Katie says that when you
argue with reality, you lose, but only one hundred percent
of the time. You'll never be able to be anything
but miserable if you can't accept reality the way it is,
and you'll never be able to move forward towards something
(04:48):
constructive if you can't accept reality right now. Let's say
your mom had breast cancer, which was the first step
in a slow decline toward bone loss, loss and decreased
immune function that robbed her of being actively engaged in life,
and then eventually her independence and your dad eventually died
(05:09):
after a lot of hard years of dementia. Those are
things that you worry about for yourself, and rightfully so.
The first step is to accept that you inherited genes
from them, and that your current sugar forward nutrition habits
and lack of regular movement are massively increasing your risk
for both of those conditions and more. You are on
(05:31):
a similar trajectory. It's what is right now, Allow it
to be so. Dale Carnegie said, no one living has
enough emotion and vigor to fight the inevitable and at
the same time enough leftover to create a new life.
Choose one or the other. You can either bend with
the inevitable sleet storms of life, or you can resist
(05:53):
them and break end quote. That's the key to accepting
what is. I think that you need the emotion and
vigor you've been spending on resisting reality and losing one
hundred percent of a time to spend creating a new reality.
Accepting what is doesn't mean you have to keep things
the same in the future, but you have to know
(06:13):
where you are to be able to embark on a
new journey. Marcus Aurelius once said, so here is a
rule to remember in the future when anything tempts you
to feel bitter. Not this is misfortune, but to bear
this worthily is good fortune. Deep right, what misfortunes do
(06:37):
you have that would be good fortune? To be able
to bear worthily? The second step in our antidote to
worrying about aging is to stop focusing on what you
don't want. First, we accept reality, which might include some unpleasantness.
I think it's good to get very clear about what
you're afraid of, be clear about it. In our fictional example, well,
(07:00):
I'm scared of dementia, breast cancer and becoming frail, fragile,
and losing my independence. It's good to have exact clarity,
maybe even get more clear about why you're afraid of
those things. What would it mean to you if you
got them? What would your every day be like? How
would you feel? I like this quote from someone named Hefes,
(07:22):
who I don't think I've ever heard of before. Fear
is the cheapest room in the house. I would like
to see you living in better conditions. Isn't that good?
What's you're clear about what you're afraid of, Move out
of the cheapest room in the house, stop living there.
Wayne Dryer said, The Right Brothers didn't contemplate the staying
(07:43):
on the ground of things. Alexander Graham Bell didn't contemplate
the non communication of things. Thomas Edison didn't contemplate the
darkness of things. In order to float an idea in
your reality, you must be willing to do a somersault
into the inconceivable and land on your feet, contemplating what
you want instead of what you don't have. End of quote.
(08:07):
The next step of moving past worrying about aging is
to stop contemplating what you don't want. Don't spend your
mental energy thinking about staying on the ground and staying
in the dark. One more quote. This is from Shakespeare.
Our doubts are traders and make us lose the good
we oft might win by fearing to attempt. Once you've
(08:30):
accepted reality and gotten clear about what you're afraid of
and why, stop thinking about what you don't want. Step three.
If you're going to cease and desist from thinking about
what you don't want? What are you going to do instead? This,
I think is the real antidote to worrying about aging.
(08:52):
Instead of worrying about what could go wrong, decide what
you want, like exactly what you want? Do you even know?
How clear are you about it? What do I want?
Knowing exactly what you want helps give your supercomputer mind
a target to aim at, which is super useful for
(09:14):
subconsciously organizing your habits and behaviors. It makes everything so
much easier than stumbling around in some kind of vague
but scary haze. Having a target to aim for answers
a ton of questions while also making aiming for it
way more fun. Have you ever gone ax throwing or
knife throwing or archery ing? What shooting? I guess? Bo
(09:39):
hunting skills, nunchook skills, computer hacking skills, such skills, bow
hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who
have good skills. It's fun to take aim and see
what you can do. It's fun when it's extremely clear
what the objective is, even if it's difficult. Paalo Kuolo
(10:03):
said that when you want something all the universe conspires
in helping you achieve it. Anytime you feel stuck or
feel yourself worrying, stop and ask yourself, what do I want?
In our example, we've been using. What I want is
a clear, sharp mind, cells that replicate appropriately, and enough
(10:25):
strength and resilience to remain physically independent into my later years.
Then we could get more specific if we wanted to.
I want to have above average mental processing speeds and
memory recall in my eighties, to have healthy cells, a
bone density T score over zero on a DEXA, and
thirty percent or above muscle mass on DEXTA. David Emerald
(10:47):
wrote a very great book with a not so great name.
It's called The Power of Ted. It always makes me
think of that movie with the potty mouth stuffed bear. Anyway,
the book is really good though. In it, he talks
about the importance of moving from a victim to a creator.
He says that one of the fundamental differences between a
victim and a creator is that victims always focus on
(11:09):
what they don't want, which causes their problems to multiply.
Creators focus on what they do want. Creators still face problems,
but they keep their focus on what they want their vision.
If you will, he says, quote, to really live into
your creator self, you are called to do the inner
(11:30):
work necessary to find your own sense of purpose, whatever
touches your heart and holds meaning for you end quote.
When you're a creator, obstacles become challenges that teach you
and help you level up your skills, knowledge, or insights.
The obstacles are exactly what help you get what you want.
(11:50):
When you're a victim, obstacles are what block your path
and keep you stuck. The difference between being a victim
and a creator comes from how you talk to yourself
and about your life. Your thoughts create the filters you
view your life through. You create evidence in your mind
to support your being withheld from having what you want,
(12:11):
or evidence to support your evolution into a strong enough
person to get exactly what she wants. It might seem
like it would be easier and more fun to live
from the creator perspective, but it's not. It's harder because
as a victim, you can just react to your circumstances
without much conscious thought. You can blame everything on everyone
(12:32):
else and get sympathy and understanding about your difficulties. The
moment we ask ourselves the question what do I want?
We shift our focus from the problem to the solution.
We go from being a victim to being a creator.
That's the magic. Step four is to brainstorm ideas of
(12:53):
what you can do to help what you want come about.
Sometimes it'll be obvious and easy, sometimes be really hard.
I'd guess that for most things related to worrying about aging,
it'll be a bit more complicated and challenging. And that's okay.
Keep at it. You don't have to have all the
answers at once. Just don't give up. In the power
(13:14):
of Ted David Emerald says to go get a rubber
band and put it between the strongest fingers on each hand.
You can imagine this, but I think it's always more
powerful to actually do it. So if you're somewhere why
you can grab a rubber band and actually do this,
do it and you'll get an A plus for today.
Put it on the strongest fingers of each hand and
then start to pull it. Can you feel the tension
(13:36):
as it's stretched? Is it starting to get uncomfortable? Imagine
that your right hand is your ideal, It's what you
want for your future, in your eighties and nineties. Your
left hand is your current reality, what you're actually on
the trajectory toward right now. The tension you feel is
like the tension that exists when you dare to date
(14:00):
what you really want. He calls it dynamic tension between
the real and the ideal. So you have two choices
to relieve that tension. You can go either way. Either
way feels better in the moment because it lessens the tension.
You can either let go of your vision and come
back toward reality, move your right hand towards your left,
(14:24):
or you can move your current situation closer to your
vision move your left hand towards your right. It's up
to you to decide either one will release the tension.
The fifth step is to definitively decide what you're going
to do. This is the second most important part after
deciding what you want. Thomas Carlyle once said, our main
(14:47):
business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance,
but to do what lies clearly at hand. That applies
very well here. We don't need to know every single
thing we're going to do every for the next forty
years till we're winning speedcubing championships in our eighties. We
just need to know the next one thing we can
(15:09):
do to get closer to what we want. Author Alex
Korb wrote a book called The Upward Spiral. He says,
when everything is up in the air, the amygdala becomes
more reactive. So if you tend to worry, reduce your
options and make quick decisions whenever possible. As soon as
(15:30):
you make a decision, however small, everything starts to feel
more manageable. And that's true. Right have you felt that,
even if it's not the best possible decision of all
the options, choosing something and moving forward clears the fog.
It lessens stress and boosts your mood. Dale Carnegie brilliantly said,
(15:52):
experience has proved to me time after time the enormous
value of arriving at a decision. It is the failure
to arrive at a fixed purpose, the inability to stop
going around and around in maddening circles that drives me
to nervous breakdowns and living hells. I find that fifty
(16:13):
percent of my worries vanish once I arrive at a clear,
definite decision, and another forty percent usually vanishes once I
start to carry out that decision. End quote. If you
found that to be true, making a decision and starting
to carry it out get rid of ninety percent of
your worries. It's so powerful, so that leads us to
(16:36):
our next step. Start doing something. Start small, and start imperfectly.
Just take an action. Part of our worrying can be
wanting to make the Heaven's part in a choir of angels.
Start singing. Level of perfect choice. Trying to maximize absolutely
(16:59):
everything so that you make the most perfect choice will
keep you stuck in in action. Don't try to be
the best at whatever your chosen action is at first,
just try to be better than you are right now.
Knowing you need to optimize your nutrition and movement to
reduce your risk of cancer and dementia is great. You
(17:21):
could easily spend three full time, forty hour work weeks
figuring out the optimal way to do that. That's not
a joke, You're really could. There is so much information
about tweaking the minutia of your macros and micro nutrients
for the optimal performance, and the times the day you
eat and when you train. You could take what would
(17:42):
equate to a graduate level course on training volumes, intensities, hypertrophy, endurance,
progressive overload, accessory movements, and so on. But those one
hundred and twenty plus hours won't do a darn thing
for you unless you actually do something anything. Something smaller
is probably better because it will feel less overwhelming. Waiting
(18:04):
to start till you have the TikTok influencer approved best
possible plan in the universe is going to keep you stuck.
But going for a twenty minute walk is going to
get you started. Is it enough to completely reverse all
of your risk factors? No, but it's most definitely better
than doing nothing, same thing with drinking half as much
(18:26):
soda as you used to. That's a great place to start.
Once you're ninety percent consistent for a few weeks, then
you can add to the plan. Baby steps are amazing.
They also give you time to refine your plan. Just
don't wait to get started taking action to create what
you want. The seventh step is to stay busy with
(18:47):
your actions aimed toward creating what you want. George Bernard
Shaw said the secret of being miserable is to have
the leisure to bother about whether you're happy or not.
So don't bother to think about it. Spit on your
hands and get busy. Your blood will start circulating, your
mind will start ticking, and pretty soon this whole positive
upsurge of life in your body will drive worry from
(19:09):
your mind. Get busy, Keep busy. It's the cheapest kind
of medicine there is on the earth, and the best.
Victor Frankel taught that success and happiness cannot be our targets.
He says that the more you aim and pursue success
or happiness, the more likely you are to miss them.
(19:31):
They cannot be pursued. They must ensue as the unintended
side effect of your dedication to your cause. Success will
follow you when you stay busy and forget to think
about it. Just focus on doing what you decided to do.
Maybe the biggest secret to success is to focus on
(19:52):
the process rather than the outcome. Do this one thing
that's right in front of you right now with excellence,
and forget about everything else. Stay busy. Okay. The final
step is to allow your actions toward getting what you
want to change your identity really deep down, feel yourself
(20:15):
becoming the kind of person who just is this way.
What you want is basically guaranteed to happen when it's
truly aligned with your identity. Remember my favorite phrase, that's
like me. Every time you follow your process and take
your actions to create what you want, remind yourself that's
(20:37):
like me. That's like me to drink half as much
soda as I used to. That's like me to take
my twenty minute walk every day even when I really
really really don't want to. That's like me to start
a weight training program and actually show up for it
ninety percent of the time. That's like me to drink
more water. That's like me to break up with bread.
(21:00):
Identity controls every aspect of your experience. What you see
is what you're subconsciously looking for and expecting. The opportunities
that present themselves to you are dependent on who you
believe you are. What you naturally gravitate toward and do
habitually are connected with who you believe you are. So
(21:22):
while the antidote to worrying about aging is to decide
what you actually do want and then to do something
about it, allowing those regular actions to change who you
believe that you are, your identity and sense of self,
you will eventually not even consider worrying about the future
because you know that you are the kind of person
(21:44):
who is creating the exact future that she wants. Someone
who knows what she wants, controls what is within her control,
and doesn't worry about the things that she can't control.
Someone who follows through on her commitment and doesn't waste
brain power thinking about what she doesn't want. Thank you
(22:06):
so much for being here today. There is a lot
that changes with our biology as we get older, and
we're conditioned to believe that it's all bad. I hope
that the next time you start to worry about age
related changes, you remember to focus on what you do
want instead of what you don't. It seems obvious, but
most people don't go around thinking about what they do want.
(22:30):
Once you know that, you can take productive action instead
of wringing your hands and imagining the worst targeted thinking
what do I want and what needs to be done
right now? Those are two great questions. Next week, we're
going to talk about an easy thing you can check
at home for free to get an idea of your
risk of this statistically most likely thing to kill you.
(22:52):
Until then, surgically remove worry from your life and don't
be normal. Thank you so much for tuning into Health
Courage collective podcast. I am truly honored that you have
paid me the enormous compliment of your time and attention.
I would be so grateful if you would share this
podcast with someone you know and subscribe so you never
miss an episode. This podcast is for entertainment and information
(23:15):
purposes only. Statements and views on this podcast are not
medical advice. This podcast, including Christina Hackett and producers, disclaim
responsibility for any possible adverse events by use of information
contained hearing. If you think you have a medical problem,
consult a licensed position
What you focus on multiplies, right, It's totally natural to
worry about the future, your aging biology in particular. But
even though it feels useful like you're doing something, it
won't prevent the chronic diseases of aging. If anything, it
will make them more likely, and it will make the
years between now and then a lot less fun. You're
(00:24):
listening to The Health Courage Collective Podcast, Episode two hundred
and sixteen, The Antidote to Worrying about Aging. Welcome to
the Health Courage Collective Podcast, the show for women who
are too busy to slog through hours of generalized and
applicable and often contradictory health information, but too smart to
(00:44):
ignore that a few minutes of focused attention now can
prevent years of suffering in the future. I'm your host,
Christina Hackett, a pharmacist who doesn't want you to live
on prescriptions, a certified coach specifically trained to maximize your
potential at a compulsive life, and are obsessed with preventative,
cutting edge, holistic and integrated medicine. I'm on a mission
(01:05):
to increase your physical and mental resilience so you can
fearlessly look forward to your next forty plus limitless years.
Your time is down. Let's go well, my friend, and
welcome to this week's episode. I hope you're doing well.
How is your sixth vital sign? I doubt you've had
a chance to get it measured, but if you have,
(01:28):
then you are super awesome. The amount of muscle you
have on your body really is an indicator of your
health status and biological resilience. Muscle is not about vanity. Well,
it can be, I guess, but as far as what
we're talking about, the amount of healthy muscle you have
is directly tied to how long and how well you
(01:49):
will live period. Today we're going to talk about worrying
about aging. There's a lot that can go wrong as
we get older, all of our body systems affected, and
it feels very out of our control. We're taught to
believe that the majority of it is beyond our control,
a long, slow rot that we can't do anything other
(02:12):
than endure or maybe hope for a randomly granted above
average decline. Aging is something it's completely natural to worry about,
especially if you've watched and associated with your elderly parents
or grandparents or aunts and uncles. It can be pretty brutal,
and it is not for the faint of heart. Worry
(02:34):
gives us something to do. It can feel useful, like
we're preventing the worst from happening by preemptively worrying about it.
We might feel like we have more control if we
worry about certain aspects of aging, like at least we
won't get blindsided by diseases. But how does worrying make
you feel powerful, prepared, excited about the future. Probably not.
(02:59):
Even if you take some worry driven actions in the
name of helping your future self, the results are probably
not going to be as good as they could be,
and the process will not be very enjoyable. So what's
the antidote to worrying about aging? Wholly denying that it's
even happening, not caring about anything at all, becoming a
(03:21):
nonconformist who doesn't even live in the zip code of reality.
Maybe those seem like kind of the opposite of worrying
about aging. But if those aren't for you, then maybe
the ideas that I have to share with you today
will be Dale Carnegie, the guy who wrote How to
Win Friends and Influence People, wrote another book called How
to Stop Worrying and Start living. It has a four
(03:43):
step process for how to stop worrying. I say let's
double that to eight steps with some wisdom from Deepak Chopra,
William Shakespeare, Wayne Dyer, Byron Katie, Victor Frankel, Alex Korb,
and David Emerald. Are you ready? The first step in
our antidote to worrying about aging is to accept reality.
I know it seems obvious because it seems like something
(04:05):
we don't have any choice about, but we do. And
I think one of the reasons lots of people stay
stuck is because they don't accept reality. William James, who
died in nineteen ten, said, be willing to have it so.
Be willing to have it so, because acceptance of what
has happened is the first step in overcoming the consequences
(04:27):
of any misfortune. End quote. And I'm sure you know that.
In Loving What Is Byron Katie says that when you
argue with reality, you lose, but only one hundred percent
of the time. You'll never be able to be anything
but miserable if you can't accept reality the way it is,
and you'll never be able to move forward towards something
(04:48):
constructive if you can't accept reality right now. Let's say
your mom had breast cancer, which was the first step
in a slow decline toward bone loss, loss and decreased
immune function that robbed her of being actively engaged in life,
and then eventually her independence and your dad eventually died
(05:09):
after a lot of hard years of dementia. Those are
things that you worry about for yourself, and rightfully so.
The first step is to accept that you inherited genes
from them, and that your current sugar forward nutrition habits
and lack of regular movement are massively increasing your risk
for both of those conditions and more. You are on
(05:31):
a similar trajectory. It's what is right now, Allow it
to be so. Dale Carnegie said, no one living has
enough emotion and vigor to fight the inevitable and at
the same time enough leftover to create a new life.
Choose one or the other. You can either bend with
the inevitable sleet storms of life, or you can resist
(05:53):
them and break end quote. That's the key to accepting
what is. I think that you need the emotion and
vigor you've been spending on resisting reality and losing one
hundred percent of a time to spend creating a new reality.
Accepting what is doesn't mean you have to keep things
the same in the future, but you have to know
(06:13):
where you are to be able to embark on a
new journey. Marcus Aurelius once said, so here is a
rule to remember in the future when anything tempts you
to feel bitter. Not this is misfortune, but to bear
this worthily is good fortune. Deep right, what misfortunes do
(06:37):
you have that would be good fortune? To be able
to bear worthily? The second step in our antidote to
worrying about aging is to stop focusing on what you
don't want. First, we accept reality, which might include some unpleasantness.
I think it's good to get very clear about what
you're afraid of, be clear about it. In our fictional example, well,
(07:00):
I'm scared of dementia, breast cancer and becoming frail, fragile,
and losing my independence. It's good to have exact clarity,
maybe even get more clear about why you're afraid of
those things. What would it mean to you if you
got them? What would your every day be like? How
would you feel? I like this quote from someone named Hefes,
(07:22):
who I don't think I've ever heard of before. Fear
is the cheapest room in the house. I would like
to see you living in better conditions. Isn't that good?
What's you're clear about what you're afraid of, Move out
of the cheapest room in the house, stop living there.
Wayne Dryer said, The Right Brothers didn't contemplate the staying
(07:43):
on the ground of things. Alexander Graham Bell didn't contemplate
the non communication of things. Thomas Edison didn't contemplate the
darkness of things. In order to float an idea in
your reality, you must be willing to do a somersault
into the inconceivable and land on your feet, contemplating what
you want instead of what you don't have. End of quote.
(08:07):
The next step of moving past worrying about aging is
to stop contemplating what you don't want. Don't spend your
mental energy thinking about staying on the ground and staying
in the dark. One more quote. This is from Shakespeare.
Our doubts are traders and make us lose the good
we oft might win by fearing to attempt. Once you've
(08:30):
accepted reality and gotten clear about what you're afraid of
and why, stop thinking about what you don't want. Step three.
If you're going to cease and desist from thinking about
what you don't want? What are you going to do instead? This,
I think is the real antidote to worrying about aging.
(08:52):
Instead of worrying about what could go wrong, decide what
you want, like exactly what you want? Do you even know?
How clear are you about it? What do I want?
Knowing exactly what you want helps give your supercomputer mind
a target to aim at, which is super useful for
(09:14):
subconsciously organizing your habits and behaviors. It makes everything so
much easier than stumbling around in some kind of vague
but scary haze. Having a target to aim for answers
a ton of questions while also making aiming for it
way more fun. Have you ever gone ax throwing or
knife throwing or archery ing? What shooting? I guess? Bo
(09:39):
hunting skills, nunchook skills, computer hacking skills, such skills, bow
hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who
have good skills. It's fun to take aim and see
what you can do. It's fun when it's extremely clear
what the objective is, even if it's difficult. Paalo Kuolo
(10:03):
said that when you want something all the universe conspires
in helping you achieve it. Anytime you feel stuck or
feel yourself worrying, stop and ask yourself, what do I want?
In our example, we've been using. What I want is
a clear, sharp mind, cells that replicate appropriately, and enough
(10:25):
strength and resilience to remain physically independent into my later years.
Then we could get more specific if we wanted to.
I want to have above average mental processing speeds and
memory recall in my eighties, to have healthy cells, a
bone density T score over zero on a DEXA, and
thirty percent or above muscle mass on DEXTA. David Emerald
(10:47):
wrote a very great book with a not so great name.
It's called The Power of Ted. It always makes me
think of that movie with the potty mouth stuffed bear. Anyway,
the book is really good though. In it, he talks
about the importance of moving from a victim to a creator.
He says that one of the fundamental differences between a
victim and a creator is that victims always focus on
(11:09):
what they don't want, which causes their problems to multiply.
Creators focus on what they do want. Creators still face problems,
but they keep their focus on what they want their vision.
If you will, he says, quote, to really live into
your creator self, you are called to do the inner
(11:30):
work necessary to find your own sense of purpose, whatever
touches your heart and holds meaning for you end quote.
When you're a creator, obstacles become challenges that teach you
and help you level up your skills, knowledge, or insights.
The obstacles are exactly what help you get what you want.
(11:50):
When you're a victim, obstacles are what block your path
and keep you stuck. The difference between being a victim
and a creator comes from how you talk to yourself
and about your life. Your thoughts create the filters you
view your life through. You create evidence in your mind
to support your being withheld from having what you want,
(12:11):
or evidence to support your evolution into a strong enough
person to get exactly what she wants. It might seem
like it would be easier and more fun to live
from the creator perspective, but it's not. It's harder because
as a victim, you can just react to your circumstances
without much conscious thought. You can blame everything on everyone
(12:32):
else and get sympathy and understanding about your difficulties. The
moment we ask ourselves the question what do I want?
We shift our focus from the problem to the solution.
We go from being a victim to being a creator.
That's the magic. Step four is to brainstorm ideas of
(12:53):
what you can do to help what you want come about.
Sometimes it'll be obvious and easy, sometimes be really hard.
I'd guess that for most things related to worrying about aging,
it'll be a bit more complicated and challenging. And that's okay.
Keep at it. You don't have to have all the
answers at once. Just don't give up. In the power
(13:14):
of Ted David Emerald says to go get a rubber
band and put it between the strongest fingers on each hand.
You can imagine this, but I think it's always more
powerful to actually do it. So if you're somewhere why
you can grab a rubber band and actually do this,
do it and you'll get an A plus for today.
Put it on the strongest fingers of each hand and
then start to pull it. Can you feel the tension
(13:36):
as it's stretched? Is it starting to get uncomfortable? Imagine
that your right hand is your ideal, It's what you
want for your future, in your eighties and nineties. Your
left hand is your current reality, what you're actually on
the trajectory toward right now. The tension you feel is
like the tension that exists when you dare to date
(14:00):
what you really want. He calls it dynamic tension between
the real and the ideal. So you have two choices
to relieve that tension. You can go either way. Either
way feels better in the moment because it lessens the tension.
You can either let go of your vision and come
back toward reality, move your right hand towards your left,
(14:24):
or you can move your current situation closer to your
vision move your left hand towards your right. It's up
to you to decide either one will release the tension.
The fifth step is to definitively decide what you're going
to do. This is the second most important part after
deciding what you want. Thomas Carlyle once said, our main
(14:47):
business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance,
but to do what lies clearly at hand. That applies
very well here. We don't need to know every single
thing we're going to do every for the next forty
years till we're winning speedcubing championships in our eighties. We
just need to know the next one thing we can
(15:09):
do to get closer to what we want. Author Alex
Korb wrote a book called The Upward Spiral. He says,
when everything is up in the air, the amygdala becomes
more reactive. So if you tend to worry, reduce your
options and make quick decisions whenever possible. As soon as
(15:30):
you make a decision, however small, everything starts to feel
more manageable. And that's true. Right have you felt that,
even if it's not the best possible decision of all
the options, choosing something and moving forward clears the fog.
It lessens stress and boosts your mood. Dale Carnegie brilliantly said,
(15:52):
experience has proved to me time after time the enormous
value of arriving at a decision. It is the failure
to arrive at a fixed purpose, the inability to stop
going around and around in maddening circles that drives me
to nervous breakdowns and living hells. I find that fifty
(16:13):
percent of my worries vanish once I arrive at a clear,
definite decision, and another forty percent usually vanishes once I
start to carry out that decision. End quote. If you
found that to be true, making a decision and starting
to carry it out get rid of ninety percent of
your worries. It's so powerful, so that leads us to
(16:36):
our next step. Start doing something. Start small, and start imperfectly.
Just take an action. Part of our worrying can be
wanting to make the Heaven's part in a choir of angels.
Start singing. Level of perfect choice. Trying to maximize absolutely
(16:59):
everything so that you make the most perfect choice will
keep you stuck in in action. Don't try to be
the best at whatever your chosen action is at first,
just try to be better than you are right now.
Knowing you need to optimize your nutrition and movement to
reduce your risk of cancer and dementia is great. You
(17:21):
could easily spend three full time, forty hour work weeks
figuring out the optimal way to do that. That's not
a joke, You're really could. There is so much information
about tweaking the minutia of your macros and micro nutrients
for the optimal performance, and the times the day you
eat and when you train. You could take what would
(17:42):
equate to a graduate level course on training volumes, intensities, hypertrophy, endurance,
progressive overload, accessory movements, and so on. But those one
hundred and twenty plus hours won't do a darn thing
for you unless you actually do something anything. Something smaller
is probably better because it will feel less overwhelming. Waiting
(18:04):
to start till you have the TikTok influencer approved best
possible plan in the universe is going to keep you stuck.
But going for a twenty minute walk is going to
get you started. Is it enough to completely reverse all
of your risk factors? No, but it's most definitely better
than doing nothing, same thing with drinking half as much
(18:26):
soda as you used to. That's a great place to start.
Once you're ninety percent consistent for a few weeks, then
you can add to the plan. Baby steps are amazing.
They also give you time to refine your plan. Just
don't wait to get started taking action to create what
you want. The seventh step is to stay busy with
(18:47):
your actions aimed toward creating what you want. George Bernard
Shaw said the secret of being miserable is to have
the leisure to bother about whether you're happy or not.
So don't bother to think about it. Spit on your
hands and get busy. Your blood will start circulating, your
mind will start ticking, and pretty soon this whole positive
upsurge of life in your body will drive worry from
(19:09):
your mind. Get busy, Keep busy. It's the cheapest kind
of medicine there is on the earth, and the best.
Victor Frankel taught that success and happiness cannot be our targets.
He says that the more you aim and pursue success
or happiness, the more likely you are to miss them.
(19:31):
They cannot be pursued. They must ensue as the unintended
side effect of your dedication to your cause. Success will
follow you when you stay busy and forget to think
about it. Just focus on doing what you decided to do.
Maybe the biggest secret to success is to focus on
(19:52):
the process rather than the outcome. Do this one thing
that's right in front of you right now with excellence,
and forget about everything else. Stay busy. Okay. The final
step is to allow your actions toward getting what you
want to change your identity really deep down, feel yourself
(20:15):
becoming the kind of person who just is this way.
What you want is basically guaranteed to happen when it's
truly aligned with your identity. Remember my favorite phrase, that's
like me. Every time you follow your process and take
your actions to create what you want, remind yourself that's
(20:37):
like me. That's like me to drink half as much
soda as I used to. That's like me to take
my twenty minute walk every day even when I really
really really don't want to. That's like me to start
a weight training program and actually show up for it
ninety percent of the time. That's like me to drink
more water. That's like me to break up with bread.
(21:00):
Identity controls every aspect of your experience. What you see
is what you're subconsciously looking for and expecting. The opportunities
that present themselves to you are dependent on who you
believe you are. What you naturally gravitate toward and do
habitually are connected with who you believe you are. So
(21:22):
while the antidote to worrying about aging is to decide
what you actually do want and then to do something
about it, allowing those regular actions to change who you
believe that you are, your identity and sense of self,
you will eventually not even consider worrying about the future
because you know that you are the kind of person
(21:44):
who is creating the exact future that she wants. Someone
who knows what she wants, controls what is within her control,
and doesn't worry about the things that she can't control.
Someone who follows through on her commitment and doesn't waste
brain power thinking about what she doesn't want. Thank you
(22:06):
so much for being here today. There is a lot
that changes with our biology as we get older, and
we're conditioned to believe that it's all bad. I hope
that the next time you start to worry about age
related changes, you remember to focus on what you do
want instead of what you don't. It seems obvious, but
most people don't go around thinking about what they do want.
(22:30):
Once you know that, you can take productive action instead
of wringing your hands and imagining the worst targeted thinking
what do I want and what needs to be done
right now? Those are two great questions. Next week, we're
going to talk about an easy thing you can check
at home for free to get an idea of your
risk of this statistically most likely thing to kill you.
(22:52):
Until then, surgically remove worry from your life and don't
be normal. Thank you so much for tuning into Health
Courage collective podcast. I am truly honored that you have
paid me the enormous compliment of your time and attention.
I would be so grateful if you would share this
podcast with someone you know and subscribe so you never
miss an episode. This podcast is for entertainment and information
(23:15):
purposes only. Statements and views on this podcast are not
medical advice. This podcast, including Christina Hackett and producers, disclaim
responsibility for any possible adverse events by use of information
contained hearing. If you think you have a medical problem,
consult a licensed position
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.