August 19, 2025 • 47 mins
Welcome to the brand new High Value Woman’s Playbook — the no-BS guide to believing in love again. In this raw and unfiltered season premiere, Amanda Carroll shares why your love life doesn’t start in your bed — it starts in your head. If you’ve been stuck replaying “I’m too much” or “all men are trash” scripts, Amanda is going to teach you how to dismantle those mental blocks and rewire your thoughts for high-value love. Inside this episode:
✨ Download your free guide: The High Value Woman’s Guide to Dating
📞 Book your free Dating Strategy Call with Amanda today
- The 5C Thought Capture Method to reset your dating mindset.
- Why chemistry without consistency is chaos (and how to spot the difference).
- How to date like a CEO: slow to hire, fast to fire, never rehire.
- Where high-value men actually spend their time (hint: not in your DMs).
- How to turn yourself on daily so you attract from overflow instead of lack.
✨ Download your free guide: The High Value Woman’s Guide to Dating
📞 Book your free Dating Strategy Call with Amanda today
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is the High Value Woman's Playbook, the podcast for successful,
financially independent women who have everything except the love that
they deserve. I'm Amanda Carroll. I'm a world class dating coach.
You're no bullshit best friend and the woman who's going
to show you exactly how to thrive in dating, relationships,
(00:22):
family and sex. Before we dive in, I've got a
look gift for you, my High Value Woman's Guide to Dating. Inside,
you'll get my dating app profile cheatchet to help you
attract only high quality men and scare away the clowns,
and my four keys to spotting a healthy man before
you waste your time. Girl, I got you. It's totally free.
(00:45):
Just grab it at the High Value Woman's Playbook or
the link is in the show notes. Now let's get
into today's episode, The Bad Bitch's Guide to Believing in Love.
Welcome to the High Value Woman's Playbook. This is the
Bad Bitch Guide to Believing in Love Again. So you've
mastered the boardroom, your portfolio. It is glowing, your passport
(01:09):
fully stamped your legs. They're a public service girl, but
your love life, babe, you have outsourced your orgasms to
your vibrator. So long. It should be claiming you as
a dependent. We got to fix that. That ends today. Okay,
quick thing though, before we dive into this whole new season,
whole new rebrand. This is an entire new Amanda Carol.
(01:33):
I may do something and it's totally free. It's called
the High Value Woman's Guide to Dating. This is my
dating app profile cheat sheet to guarantee that you chase
away the clowns and olden callin high value men that
see you as an equal and are attracted by your ambition,
not intimidated by it. Plus, you get the four keys
(01:54):
to spotting a healthy man, so you stop wasting your
extremely valuable time. Are you in Grab it now? The
link is in the show notes. We're going to High
Value Womanplaybook dot com. Hit the link in the show notes.
Get it. Start leveling up your results while you listen. Okay,
this is all new, right, Welcome to the High Value
(02:16):
Woman's Playbook. This is your brand new season. This is
your unfiltered guide to dating, healthy relationships, family, and yes, sex.
Is there anything more important? No more playing small, no
more martyr energy, sacrifice everything for the kids and the family.
(02:37):
No more. I'm just focusing on me while you quietly
refresh your ex's LinkedIn over and over again and chase
down his new girlfriend on Instagram. Oh yeah, I know
you because I've been you. My name is Amanda Carroll.
I'm a world class dating coach, trained trauma relationship coach.
I'm also a mother. I went through a divorce, raised
(03:01):
to three kids on my own, found my amazing husband
on hinge, and I am now remarried and have a
blended family of five. From fifteen up to twenty, I
was also a nationally syndicated radio show host that escaped evangelicalism.
And I'm finally free to be able to share who
(03:22):
I really am and what I be leaven, unfiltered, maybe
just like a bad bitch in heels. Are you with me?
This is the official Real brand. This is the official
Real Amanda Carol. Because we're not just surviving anymore, we're succeeding.
If you've been with me since the beginning the Single
(03:44):
Mom Collective, you know we've been in the trenches together.
We've been rebuilding, we've been healing, we've been stabilizing, we've
been rising, we've been chasing after away narcissists. I love
that chapter. I honor that chapter. But now it is
time for the next level. Are you coming with me?
Because we don't stay in trauma. We park that pain
(04:06):
in the past and we move forward. Girl, this show
is now the High Value Woman's playbook because you're not
here to just make it anymore. You're here to succeed
because you know what they say is the best revenge
your success. The High Value Woman brand is for the
(04:28):
financially independent, high achieving woman who is almost everything. Accept
the relationship with intimacy that matches her life. We're covering
it all this season. This is your bullet proof dating strategy.
To use the apps, to get off the apps, to
(04:49):
use opportunities in the wild, to find the partner that
you deserved in the first place. We're going to talk
about relationship mastering on this new brand. Communication polarity, conflict
that actually bonds you together as a couple, family, blended
family dynamics, boundaries that protect your peace and sex. That's
(05:12):
worth bragging about. Hell yeah, we're going to go there.
Safety desire skill. We'll talk about it all. I'm an
omen book. It's kind of my favorite topic. Okay, here's
my promise to you in this new season and in
this new brand zero fluff, I am no longer muzzled
(05:34):
by that past evangelical world I was associated with. I'm
going to give you my all, maximum effort, psychology, evidence, strategy,
and a lot of swagger, so you're ready, no more suffering.
This season is about your success, and as a collective,
(05:55):
it's about all of us working together. I don't know
about you, but I'm not about women that compete with
each other anymore. I'm about women that uplift other women.
So if you found me right now, welcome, make sure
you hit that subscribe button, girl, and make sure you
share this with your bad bitch bestie, because we are
(06:16):
in this together and we are not going to put
up with minimal effort anymore. We want it all because
we deserve it all, and you should never have to sacrifice.
So let's start here. Why are your thoughts running your
love life? And how do we take them hostage? Here's
(06:37):
the truth you came for. Your love life starts in
your head before it shows up in your bed, in
your internal script. You might be saying right now, ohmen
are absolute trash. Your brain called the reticular activating system.
Look it up, ris, It's a thing. It will filter
(06:59):
for evidence to prove you right. Psych one oh one,
you find what you look for. Your thoughts provoke your life.
Your thoughts become things and negativity bias and learned helplessness
from past heartbreak. Whatever the church taught you there was
a bunch of bs and boom. Your type becomes whoever
(07:24):
reenacts your worst story over and over again. No, we're
not doing that anymore. I call those scripts. You're ready
for me to get real with you, they're mental cock blocks.
Let's dismantle them. I want to teach you right now
in this debut episode of the new season, the New Brand,
(07:44):
the High Value Women's Collective, the High Value Women's Playbook,
the five S thought capture Method. Are you ready? Because again,
your thoughts become things. If you think dating is terrible,
if you think you're too old, if you think you're
never gonna find somebody that is okay with how much
money you make, like forget it, then that's what you're
(08:07):
gonna find. Let's change the script. Here is your five
C thought capture method. Number one. Catch notice the like
the pop up thought. He's probably just gonna ghost me,
right m. He probably doesn't like me. This isn't gonna work. No,
(08:30):
I want you to cancel that thought. My grandma used
to say, I by not thought, and the name of Jesus,
she would do this little thing. Those of you watching
on YouTube can see met fingers not today. I want
you to interrupt the loop and I want you to
say something different. I want you to say, Nope, I
am meeting the love of my life, a high value
(08:54):
man who treats me like an equal, an independent, strong
woman who's inspired by my ambition and never intimidated by it.
My ambition is sexy. Do you notice the difference? So
catch first, catch up that negative thought and be like, ooh,
(09:14):
I caught this thought. We're not going to believe it.
We're just going to like I'm a baseball mom, so
bear with me and a big baseball fan. So I
want you somebody, your brain, your reticulating activating system through
you the ball. You're going to catch it. But we
are not going to keep that piece of shit. Okay.
Then I want you to cross examine it. Ask this
(09:35):
about this negative thought. Is this a fact or is
this a forecast? What's the alternative explanation? Maybe he's in surgery,
that's why he hasn't texted me. Maybe he's with his kids.
Maybe he's really busy today. Chill, Okay, relax. If you've
(09:58):
crushed on a guy you went on on a date
and he hasn't text message you yet, let's not panic.
Let's just cross examine. Okay. Is it fact or forecast
you do not yet know, especially if you're dating a
high value man. He's busy, You want him to be busy.
If he is not busy, that means he's unemployed and
(10:19):
there's a problem, okay, Or that means he's not taking
care of his kids, if he has kids. So just chill.
Number one, catch the thought and just like so, my
son he's a great short stop, although his coach plays
him at third base because his coach needs to listen
to me. We'd win more games if my son was
shortstop because he knows how to reset. He catches the
(10:43):
ball and he's gonna reset it so he doesn't make
a shitty throat for us to get the out. He's
gonna make a dead on balls throw, so you're gonna
catch it, and you're gonna think for a little bit. Right,
We're gonna cross examine number three. Then you're gonna correct.
These are the five seas catch cross examine, then you're
(11:03):
going to correct replace with a high value woman. Truth.
Emotionally available reliable men exist, and I attract them. That
is it. Your thoughts provoke your life. Stop thinking he's
going to hosting me, and start thinking. No, emotionally available
(11:26):
reliable men exist and I'm the one that attracts them.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Okay, so here's what we did. We caught the negative thought.
We plant in our feet and we're.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Like, okay, where's the next out? Where am I going
to throw this ball? We correct our body and we
decide where are we going to go with this? Then
we condition. I want you to rehearse daily for thirty days.
This is called neuroplasticity. Neuroplastic City loves reps. Look it up,
(12:03):
so does your confidence. I want you to put sticky
notes everywhere, sticky notes on the mirror. I want phone
reminders on your phone, your wallpaper on your phone. Look
at that. There's my hobby. If you're watching on YouTube,
you can see him make it inescapable that emotionally available
reliable men exist and I attract them. Right, So let's
(12:26):
go back to our baseball analogy. The catch, He grounded
the ball. He looked, where's my next out? All right?
He cross examined it, he corrected, He said, oh, I
think the throws to first. And then how does he
make that debt on ball's accurate throw? He practices it
(12:47):
every single day with a target, and because he's practiced
it in the game, he knows I got this. That's
how convinced I want you to be that love exists
from you from a high value, equal partner. And then
(13:07):
number five, I want you to commit to action. Thoughts
change fastest in motion. Okay. The biggest annoyance of women
that get on a one on one dating strategy call
and they've been single for ten years and they're miserable,
and then I present them like, here I can coach you.
(13:28):
Here's a seven step plan to meet a high value
partner that I just want to think about it. I
was like, girl, you've been thinking about this for ten years.
You probably had to buy five vibrators. Sense Like, seriously, okay,
commit to action. Put your corrected belief on the calendar
(13:48):
to IRL, get in the room. How many moments this
week you're going to meet somebody? What's a profile upgrade?
You can do. Belief without behavior is just cosplay, savage
but true. If the story in your head right now
is men can't handle me, you unconsciously pick men who
(14:09):
can't see how that works. Your thoughts are becoming things,
my love, So let's change the thoughts to become better things.
If love keeps feeling like chaos, stop calling chaos in.
Stop calling chaos chemistry. Butterflies are freaking bad. You want peace.
Your standards are too high. Your boundaries are simply new. Okay,
(14:35):
if you're feeling like that, look maybe my standards are twohigh.
Maybe I'm too picky. No, that's called having new boundaries
and being a high value woman that doesn't put up
with breadcrumbs. Does that make in sense? So let's go
back to our baseball analogy. Are you liking this? We
caught the ball, we grounded it. Instead of going okay,
(14:55):
I'm not going to believe in this negativity, we cross examined.
We're like, okay, is this the truth? Maybe he's just
a little busy. He's like, where is the out? Where
do I throw the ball? And then we correct like
I've practiced this over and over again. I've rehearsed that
emotionally available men are available to me. I know exactly
how to make this throw, and we throw the ball
dead on balls, accurate to the first baseman. Because we've
(15:19):
rehearsed that we committed to action. We didn't sit there
and say, I'm gonna think about where I'm gonna throw this,
because then my son would be benched. He doesn't sit
and think. He knows because he catches it, knows, believes
in himself that he can make the out, throws it
and gets the out. If he waited to think about
(15:42):
it again, he'd be benched. Are you benching yourself and
your love life? Girl? What are you doing the single
most important decision that a woman ever makes in her life.
It's not about her job, not where she goes to college,
it's not about where she lives. It's about who you
(16:03):
spend your life with. I am here to help you
make a really good decision because I know I'm your
cautionary tale. I made a lot of terrible decisions, but
I put in the work and I learned what I
needed to do to change so that I could get
a different outcome, and it worked. And I'm not going
(16:23):
to gate keep this shit. I'm gonna share it with
you because I'm not one of those competitive women. I'm
a girl's girl that is here to see you when
I want to see you in love with an emotionally
available partner that treats you like an eagle, who is
not a maga that you have great sex with. Is
there anything else better? Let's go get that. I got
(16:44):
a little off topic. Okay, so those five s's. Let
me tell you, girl, I believe in you. If you're thinking, Amanda, okay,
this all sounds like a lot right now, and thinking
where do I even start? I got you start here? Okay.
The launch of this new podcast, the launch of me
(17:06):
finally feeling free from the cult of evangelicalism, where I
can share exactly who I am. I'm giving you a
free gift, the free High Value Woman's Guide to Dating.
It includes the profile cheat sheet how to create an
online dating profile that sends the clown away and only
(17:28):
attracts high value men that are not intimidated by your
ambition but they are freaking attracted to it. Okay, get that,
and then you will also get in my guide to dating,
the four Keys to finding a Healthy Man. There are
questions that you can ask in the messaging on a
dating app or when you meet somebody in the wild
on a first date. Very easy, simple questions that we
(17:52):
listen to to help determine if he has all four
keys to a healthy man. If he doesn't have all four,
he doesn't get a date. Okay, I'm going to show
you exactly how to do it so you don't waste
your time or get your heart broken again. Okay, I
got you again. I'm a Girl's girl. You can get
it for free. Just check the link in the profile
(18:12):
or go to the High Value Woman Playbook dot com. Woo,
that was a lot, This changes everything. Link is in
the show notes too, if that makes it easier for
you to click on that where you can always find
me on Instagram at the real Amanda Carrol and just
send me a message. It's only me in there. I
answer all my own messages. All right. Now, I want
(18:34):
to give you some strategy that actually works in finding love.
A little bit of psychology plus some streetmarts. Street smarts,
let's mix brain science with bad bitch energy.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
Ooh, that's some powerful shit right there. Right, So, if
you trend a little anxious, if your brain craves that
quick dopamine, hit like, raptize, instant reassurance. If you trend
little avoidant, like your brain craves like I need you
(19:07):
to be a little bit distant.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
This is for you. I want you to plan. I
want you to pre commit to rules before you are
flooded by a love bomber that you meet in online dating. Okay,
here's the rules. This is how to protect your heart.
Strategy that works to find a high value partner. No
(19:31):
double text within six hours. This is the rule. He's
going to try to blow you up. The bad ones
want to try to absolutely distract you. You're not going
to do that. He's going to message you. You're going
to respond, and then that's going to be it. Go
self soothed, go on a walk, go to the gym,
call a friend, listen to my podcast before you go.
(19:54):
Spiral rating for his response. No vanishing for days though. Okay,
we're going to communicate space with clarity. Hey, like, I'm
super busy today, I have a lot of appointments. Thank
you so much much for your message. I got it,
and I'm excited to see you on our date. I'll
talk to you then. You're busy. You are valuable show
(20:18):
it to him so he can chase you. If he
doesn't want to chase you, then you know he's low
value and he's just using you to feed his very
small ego. And that is a recipe for disaster. Deal.
So here's a little app psychology to help you understand
this dating apps run on. It's called a variable ratio reward.
(20:41):
It's kind of like casino psychology. If you've ever played
the slots, they're designed to make you chase the next hit.
So let's beat the house. I want you to treat
dating apps like sales funnels. All right, you're a bad bitch.
So you know this. Fifteen minutes on the dating apps,
(21:02):
three times a week, quality swipes only. That is it.
If he doesn't light you on fire, he's swiped left,
move high quality matches, then off the app within forty
eight to seventy two hours. You should never be messaging
somebody on the app for more than forty eight to
(21:25):
seventy two hours without a date. Hell no, we don't
do that. If he hasn't asked you out on a
date and you want to meet him, you ask him.
We are not in seventh grade anymore, Okay, Deal, The
fastest way to stand out is still in person. This
is in the wild magnetism, and I want you to
(21:45):
have your chance to show it to a high value
match that you're interested in within forty eight to seventy
two hours of matching. Sometimes a lot of men they
just they need that little like Hey, if you ask
me out to let I will say yes. So, if
there's a man that you're really interested, he is high value,
he hasn't had the guts to ask you out. He
(22:06):
probably just needs the sign that you're gonna say yes.
So you send this message to him. You say, Hey,
just wondering if this girl needs to pick out a
beautiful dress or cute sexy dress to wear this weekend
with a cute boy or even bigger bad bitch energy.
I want you to send this message. Hey, we could
(22:26):
go around and round here on this app or we
could just meet in the wild to see if we
have a real connection. What do you think? Do you
see the power in those You didn't ask him out,
but you told him Hey, I want you to ask
me out, and if you do, I will say yes.
The high value man will show up with a plan.
The low value man will either ghost or say oh sure,
(22:48):
but never reply with a time and a location. Great,
that's not a reflection on you. If they do that,
that's a reflection on them. So let's do that on
a grande effect and say thank you next, thanks for
showing me you are not worth my good hair, my blowout,
and my makeup. Okay, so make sure that you get
(23:11):
together with them as soon as possible. Let's talk about
meeting in the wild. It's not just dating apps that
I coach my one on one clients in my high
value women's online community and my dating coaching program called
Love Unlocked. We do both. We maximize, we double down,
(23:32):
we hedge our bets.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
Right.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
We go to dating apps, and then we also go
to opportunities to meet in real life. Where are the
high value men. They're early in the morning at the gym,
So girl, get up in five and at five am
and look cute by six at the gym. They're at
your industry conferences. Go sign up and look great and
wear heels. They're at charity galas, buy a table for
(23:56):
your friends. There are at wine tastings. Oh my god,
please go to the golf range. It is full of dudes. Okay,
you don't even have to play golf. Just show up
cute and hang out at the bar with some chicken fingers. Okay,
I don't care. Whatever it is. They're at airport lounges,
the ones that are behind the paywall, so make sure
(24:18):
you go. Do not wear sweats and look like a
homeless person when you're traveling, Okay, you need to look
like a million bucks and have first class tickets. If
you can't, here's the rule. You want to look great,
but you also don't want to be overly intimidating. You
want to be approachable on purpose. Your bud's out at
(24:42):
the gym, okay, if you can phone down, shoulders open, smile. Yeah,
you're allowed to flirt. It's not eighteen forty two. If
you're going to the gym with those like big air
pod maxes or air maxes. My kids have those, no
one's got to talk to you. Take them off, be
(25:03):
available and make little comments like are you done with
this squat machine? Okay? Thanks. You're sitting at the bar
at a local conference and somebody's sitting next to you
and they're kind of cute and they've got some food,
and you're like, oh, what did you order even though
I was like chicken figures and you know exactly what
(25:24):
it is that they ordered. Just started the conversation. Okay,
maximize those opportunities. Think real, think authenticity, think open, think love,
think kindness. You know the number one reason why, and
(25:46):
then swipe right on a dating app or they will
go up to talk to you in the wild. Has
nothing to do with how sex you are. What it
has to do with. According to studies, sixteen percent more
right swipes from men to women if she looks kind kind. Look.
(26:09):
I know you're a bad bitch and you have that
energy added to but let's stop repelling men. Let's just smile,
look kind and they will approach you. I promise you.
Even something simple like hey, want to do drinks Wednesday
or Thursday? If you're having a conversation, why not. Don't
(26:33):
confuse being hard to get with being hard to love.
If he wanted to be with you, you wouldn't be
confused about it. Remember chemistry plus consistency or it is
a no. When you're talking to somebody on the dating
apps or in the wild. Here's what I want you
(26:54):
to do this week. If you're like, oh my god, Amanda,
I love this. I'm into the new brand to be
part of the high value women's collective. I've got a
couple action items for you. It's not homework, okay, because
homework sucks. This is your power protocol. Move number one.
I want you to try if.
Speaker 5 (27:11):
You're in that mode were like there are no good men,
or there are no men that can handle how successful
I am, or all dating apps suck. If you're in
that negativity, we've got to redo that because your thoughts
provoke your life.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
So here's your moves for this week. Move number one
the seven day thought detoks band for one week, no
man passion, no hopelessness scripts like I'm too much. I
want you to replace it with I'm selective, I'm not impossible.
(27:45):
There are still good men. Aligned men are everywhere for me.
I'm a soft place to land and a hard woman
to lose. Girl, if you need to hit that little button,
rewind that thirty seconds and listen to that again. Okay,
this is your mantra for the next week. Again, no
(28:07):
man bashing or hopelessness scripts for the next seven days
until this next episode, and I'll tell you what to
do next. Okay. Move number two, I want you to
date like a CEO. Okay, you're the CEO of your
love life. Do not hire a matchmaker. All of them
are scams and basically it's patriarchy with whipgloss on.
Speaker 6 (28:29):
Okay, stop wasting your money at them. They're so expensive
it's ridiculous. You are a smart, well educated, successful woman.
Do not give into the patriarchy that makes you think
you have a bad picker.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Let's fix your picker. They don't know what attracts you
and make you wet. You do. So. I want you
to hire yourself as the CEO of your love life,
your dating apps, your HR You're gonna be slow to hire,
You're gonna be FASTI fire, and your for ever going
to rehire. Those are the rules. Inside Love Unlocked, I
(29:05):
teach my one on one clients how to do this.
Inside our online community is a great badass group of women,
the High Value Women's Collective. We talk about this on
a regular It's it's not uncommon for one of my
clients to be like so, I fired him. We don't
break up. We fire if he is not meeting your needs.
Do not waste your time on this man. If he
(29:26):
will not commit to you, he's gone. Because he's only
wasting your time. Men that don't know what they want
have low integrity, small little egos. Maybe they even drive
lift of trucks to make them feel better. You know
what I'm saying there. Okay, you're gonna date like a
CEO again, Slow to higher, fast, a fire, and you
(29:48):
never ever rehire. They do not get to come back
if they mess it up when they're on best behavior. Nope,
thank you. Next, then I want you to write down
your green flags. What does healthy look like for you?
How do you want to feel in a relationship. You
want to feel like he's somebody who can trust. He's reliable,
(30:10):
he's trustworthy, he's generous, he's kind. If he violates one
of those things, he's fired and you never ever rehire.
You would do this with an employee. So let's implement
that into your love life. Now. I want you to
set a KPI. Okay, I want you to set how
(30:32):
many times are you going to go in the wild
every week to try to meet people? And how many
quality dates one quality dat to week. I know you're like,
oh my god, Amanda, that is a lot. No, girl,
it is not like this is a game of numbers.
This is not luck. So I want you to boost
(30:53):
your numbers. If you had one day to week for
the next five to six weeks, you would meet your
partner to stop going so slow, and you should be
dating more people than one at the same time. Then
I want you to take fifteen minute app sprints every day,
fifteen minutes on your lunch hour. You're going to be
on that app pipeline. Baby dating is like sales. The
(31:17):
more conversations you have, the more doors you knock in,
the closer you are to your next result. Okay, here's
your move number three this week. Turn yourself on daily.
I really like this one one action a day that
makes you magnetic, lifting heavy at the gym, a sweaty hike,
(31:40):
lingerie under your blazer just because it makes you feel
sexy and you know it's there. Or a playlist that
turns you on, buying yourself a beautiful bouquet of flowers
and putting it next to your bed, because when you
are good loving yourself, you don't accept anyone else that
(32:04):
sucks at it. He's like, I can love me? Was
that Miley Cyrus? I can buy my self flowers. You
should have fresh flowers in your house. All the time.
Eventually the right man will see that and he'll make
sure that he freshens them. But for now, you do it, girl,
because you love You turn yourself on daily and if
(32:25):
it leads to other things, it leads to other things.
Good for you, girl. Confidence is your new perfume. Belief
is the new pheromone. When you walk into a room
and believe that you are a badass bitch who deserves
a high value partner, guess what. That's what you get
(32:46):
when you walk into the room with head down, like
they taught me in evangelicalism to be like, oh, I'm
just so lucky if anybody picks me so I can
be submissive. Oh my god, then what are you going
to get? A low value man that wants to control you,
use you, and abuse you. That is done. Remember we
don't chase anymore. We choose men biologically want to join
(33:11):
you physically. So I want you to build such a beautiful, magnetic,
high value life that he can't help but be obsessed
at joining what you got going on. Oh my god.
If he's intimidated by it at all, he's fired. I
remember early on going on dates and they're like, what
do you do. I'm like, well, I'm a nationally's indicated
(33:33):
radio host. Oh wow, how many radio stations are you're
on like six hundred and twenty? Like okay, and like
Erdila is like I bought my own house. Like well,
you're kind of intimidating. And I'd say, well, why don't
you just level up? They wouldn't get a second date,
don't Chase. I want you to choose, never dim your light,
(33:57):
still have a soft heart, but I I want you
to have steel boundaries. There is no sex without commitment, period,
but you should be doing it like the third fourth date.
I want you to say this, I'm not too much.
I'm never too much. Okay. I want to tell you
(34:17):
about Sarah. We'll call her Sarah. Okay. I keep all
of my clients privacy unless they allow me to share it.
She's a one on one client of mine right now,
million dollar smile, absolutely gorgeous, incredibly successful. And she was
setting up her dating app profile, which is one of
my favorite things I do. When you work with me
(34:38):
one on one, we go through this personally. I pick
your photos, I help you write everything. We do it
so wet, the clowns run away, and you only attract
high value and she was showing me. I said, what
your title says like executive management. I was like, that's
not your title. She goes, yeah, but like I just
I just wanted to look like, aren't approachable, Like well,
(35:02):
why are you dimming your light? It's like, I just
I don't know. I was like, that's a bunch of bullshit.
That's what the patriarchy is wanted women to do since
the dawn of time. But women again, and men again,
they want to join a woman's attractive life. They want
to join our bodies. They want to go to the
blaze where we've got nice sheets, we got silk pillowcases.
(35:23):
Right their bed is shitty. Ours as comfortable, Like you
should showcase how fancy you are. I was like, aren't you.
The CEO said yeah. I was like, then put that
as your title, because here's what that does. The men
that are intimidated by it won't even bother you. She's like,
that would be nice, but the men who are attracted
(35:45):
by it will reach out to you and respect you instantly.
That one change got her five high value partners that
she's dating, and now she's got a top of the roster.
She's choosing that's what you want. Never ever dim your light,
turn it up. Feed the fire girl. We had to
(36:07):
rewire her thoughts. We rebuilt that profile, and we got
her in conversations that were incredibly with high value men,
and we enforced the forty eight to seventy two hour
move to date rule after matching. They got forty eight hours.
If they haven't asked you out, you tell them you
want them to ask you out. If they don't, they're fired.
(36:29):
If they do, that's a yes. Because you are too
busy to waste another year of paying for dating app.
I want you to pay for like three months, maybe
two months, and then have to delete it. You follow
my system and that will work. If you've been paying
for over a year on a dating app. Girl, I
(36:49):
love you, but you are doing it wrong. Okay, Date
five was it? She found her guy safety laughter, confers Sincy.
Now they're ring shopping. This is what I want for you.
The more you turn up the volume on your value,
(37:11):
the stricter boundaries you set, the faster you find the
high value partner that you deserve. And I'm here to
help you, so please do me a favor and let
me know what you think. Leave some new reviews, shoot
me some messages. I know you saw a glimpse of
the real Amanda Carrol. It's only going to get more real.
(37:31):
Grab my free gift for this new launch of this
new season and this new rebrand of the High Value
Woman's Playbook. Get the Guide to Dating. You get the
profile cheat sheet, You get the healthy the four keys
to a healthy man's specific questions you can send in
the dating apps to see if he even bothers to
ask you out, and if you want to say yes
(37:52):
and use a good blowout and good makeup on him.
It's the difference between another ninety minutes you'll never get
back on a tear date, or the start of your
love story. The link to get that free gift is
in the show notes. Listen, I'm so glad you're with me.
Maybe you've been following me for a while. I built
(38:14):
the Single Mom collective from grit and grace. That work
in this previous season remains sacred. It is there for you.
Please share it with your friends. But this reinvention the
High Value Woman's Playbook is for the woman who refuses
to let her past write her future. You're done. You
(38:36):
want the best because you deserve the best. Reminds me
of this old boss I had in Christian radio when
I went and asked him for a flexible schedule because
I just had my first child and was breastfeeding. He's like, well,
you just want it all, and I said, yes, do
you have a problem with that. I want you to
have that attitude, and every episode is going to help
(38:58):
you achieve it and feel confident about it. I want
you to feel loved. I want you to be the
one that will not apologize for being ambitious, soft, sexy, wealthy, generous,
and deeply loved all at the same time. Because high
(39:21):
value women do not shrink. High value women don't shrink
their dreams to match their wounds. They heal their wounds
to match their dreams. And I can help you, and
it starts right now. This is something I do with
all of my clients. If you get on a free
(39:41):
dating strategy call, you can book it. In the show notes,
we will do this exact visualization together. Going back to baseball,
I did this with my son when he was in
eighth grade. He's a junior in high school now. He
was obsessed with hitting a home run. Like I don't
think he turned in any math, homework or any of
the books because all he could think about was hitting
(40:03):
a home run. So I knew I had to get
him to hit that home run. So we actually focused
in school. I said, Okay, we're going to do a
little visualization. We're on our way to practice. I said, hey,
tell me about the time you hit a home run.
He was like, Mom, I haven't hit home run yet.
I was like, don't care, like we're going to pretend
like Garrity did see the power of that. Your thoughts
become the things. I said, what did it sound like
(40:24):
when you hit? I was like, this is the best sound.
It was just like crack. Mom, I said, did you
know it was going over the fence? He goes yeah,
And I sat there and watched it. What'd you do
when you saw it hit the fence? I ran down
basis and I pulled my arms up in the air.
What'd you do when you got to first base? What happened?
Speaker 4 (40:42):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (40:42):
My friends were there and we celebrated, and then we
went out for pizza. Do you know how many times
it took to do that little visualization every time we
drove to practice. Tell me about the time you hit
home run till you hit one five drives. Just like
my promise to you, I can get you in a
committed relationship in five dates or less if you just
(41:05):
trust me and follow this system. So let's do this
for a minute, wanting you to close your.
Speaker 4 (41:10):
Eyes, and I want you to tell me about the
time you fell in love with a high value partner
who thought your ambition was the sexiest thing about you.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
It was never intimidated about your success. All right, you ready,
all right, if you got the gym girl to take
a little minute by the lockers, Okay, close your eyes.
It's the third date. You're walking into this restaurant. Then
you know you're falling for this guy, and you know
(41:49):
tonight it might be the night. He's already there, sitting
at the table. You walk in wearing a gorgeous red dress.
Heals the whole thing because he earned it. He sees
you and smiles. He stands up, He walks to the
(42:11):
other side of the table where your seat is, and
he pulls out the chair for you because he's a gentleman.
You sit down. He tucks you into that table. He
leans down and he gives you a kiss, and he
says God I'm so glad to see you, and you smile,
(42:33):
and he said glad to be with you too. He
sits down on his chair and he does that sexy
romantic thing where he grabs your hand like on the
top of the table and he holds it and he
looks at you and says, think, I'm falling in love
with you, and you said me too. How do you
(42:58):
feel in that moment? If you feel peace, excitement, comfort, security,
I want you to practice that every single day. How
committed are you to finding that in the next three
(43:20):
to six months? Scale one to ten. Are you up
there on that scale? Then I want you to do
this for me. I want you to go to the
show notes, do one of two things. At least, download
that free dating High Value Woman's Dating cheat sheet and
the four Keys to a Healthy Man. If you're ready
(43:42):
to go to the next step, I want you to
book a call with me. You and me. I'll help
you read to your dating profile and I will help
you find that love that you've always deserved. This is
not luck, This is preparation, This is alignment, and this
is action. So go grab that guide and I'm so
(44:05):
glad you're here. Thanks for understanding the arc from that
single mom collective to now the reinvention of the high
value women's playbook for the women that know that they
deserved more and instead of quitting, you're about to go
get it because you know that the definition of success
(44:28):
is in luck. It's a whole lot of not quitting.
Are you ready for it? Man? I'd love to be
the one that helps you. All right, take this energy
into your week. You are open, you are warm, you
are magnetic, you are not chasing. You are ready to choose. Girl.
(44:50):
If this hits you like in the rib cage today,
do me a couple favors? Could you subscribe to this
new podcast season right now? You don't miss the next episode.
Each episode is going to build so you have everything
you need to find this high value partner. Oh, I'm
going to go into the strategies. I'm going to help
you know how to message. Everything is going to be
(45:13):
there for you. We're even going to go there and
talk about sex because it's my favorite topic. And then
I want you to share this with a friend who
has everything to except the relationship that she deserves, just
like hit that little arrow and me like, hey, girl,
I think you might like this because no woman should
walk this road alone. The High Value Women's Collective. We
(45:36):
are not a group of competitive bitches. We do not
gate keep our secrets. We share our good Botox girl
with each other. Okay, I want you to share it
so we can all have the happiness, the joy, and
the love that you deserve. Step one, download your free
High Value Women's Guide to Dating. Step two, when you're
(45:59):
ready to skip old trial and error and paying for
a year on the dating app and build your exact
love plan, I want you to book a free High
Value dating strategy call with me. All the links are
in the show notes. We'll map it, we'll customize it,
and will execute it. Why Because this is my life's mission,
helping women like you who build everything finally receive the healthy, equal,
(46:25):
electric love you deserve with a sex life that lights
you on fire. Your love is not on pause, It's
in play baby. Right now, you're the one holding the ball.
Are you ready to execute hager before you hit play
(46:47):
on that next thing? That podcast you want to listen to.
I want you to do two things for me. First,
subscribe to the High Value Woman's Playbooks. You never miss
an episode every single week I'm going to walk you
step by step through healing, building unshakeable confidence, and finding
a healthy, incredible partner who matches your success and the
two you have great sex together. Second, grab your free
(47:09):
High Value Woman's Guide to Dating. Inside I give you
my dating app profile cheat cheese. You can attract high
quality men immediately, plus my four keys to spotting a
healthy man before you waste a second of your precious time. Hey,
that's pretty valuable. You're a badass bitch. You can download
it right now in the show notes. And if you
are ready to go deeper, book your free high value
(47:31):
dating strategy called This is My Life's Mission, helping women
like you get the love you deserve without ever settling,
without playing games, and without losing yourself in the process.
The link is in the show notes. And remember, you
are not too much, you are not too late, and
you are not out of time. You're just getting started.
(47:52):
Let's make this your year for love.
This is the High Value Woman's Playbook, the podcast for successful,
financially independent women who have everything except the love that
they deserve. I'm Amanda Carroll. I'm a world class dating coach.
You're no bullshit best friend and the woman who's going
to show you exactly how to thrive in dating, relationships,
(00:22):
family and sex. Before we dive in, I've got a
look gift for you, my High Value Woman's Guide to Dating. Inside,
you'll get my dating app profile cheatchet to help you
attract only high quality men and scare away the clowns,
and my four keys to spotting a healthy man before
you waste your time. Girl, I got you. It's totally free.
(00:45):
Just grab it at the High Value Woman's Playbook or
the link is in the show notes. Now let's get
into today's episode, The Bad Bitch's Guide to Believing in Love.
Welcome to the High Value Woman's Playbook. This is the
Bad Bitch Guide to Believing in Love Again. So you've
mastered the boardroom, your portfolio. It is glowing, your passport
(01:09):
fully stamped your legs. They're a public service girl, but
your love life, babe, you have outsourced your orgasms to
your vibrator. So long. It should be claiming you as
a dependent. We got to fix that. That ends today. Okay,
quick thing though, before we dive into this whole new season,
whole new rebrand. This is an entire new Amanda Carol.
(01:33):
I may do something and it's totally free. It's called
the High Value Woman's Guide to Dating. This is my
dating app profile cheat sheet to guarantee that you chase
away the clowns and olden callin high value men that
see you as an equal and are attracted by your ambition,
not intimidated by it. Plus, you get the four keys
(01:54):
to spotting a healthy man, so you stop wasting your
extremely valuable time. Are you in Grab it now? The
link is in the show notes. We're going to High
Value Womanplaybook dot com. Hit the link in the show notes.
Get it. Start leveling up your results while you listen. Okay,
this is all new, right, Welcome to the High Value
(02:16):
Woman's Playbook. This is your brand new season. This is
your unfiltered guide to dating, healthy relationships, family, and yes, sex.
Is there anything more important? No more playing small, no
more martyr energy, sacrifice everything for the kids and the family.
(02:37):
No more. I'm just focusing on me while you quietly
refresh your ex's LinkedIn over and over again and chase
down his new girlfriend on Instagram. Oh yeah, I know
you because I've been you. My name is Amanda Carroll.
I'm a world class dating coach, trained trauma relationship coach.
I'm also a mother. I went through a divorce, raised
(03:01):
to three kids on my own, found my amazing husband
on hinge, and I am now remarried and have a
blended family of five. From fifteen up to twenty, I
was also a nationally syndicated radio show host that escaped evangelicalism.
And I'm finally free to be able to share who
(03:22):
I really am and what I be leaven, unfiltered, maybe
just like a bad bitch in heels. Are you with me?
This is the official Real brand. This is the official
Real Amanda Carol. Because we're not just surviving anymore, we're succeeding.
If you've been with me since the beginning the Single
(03:44):
Mom Collective, you know we've been in the trenches together.
We've been rebuilding, we've been healing, we've been stabilizing, we've
been rising, we've been chasing after away narcissists. I love
that chapter. I honor that chapter. But now it is
time for the next level. Are you coming with me?
Because we don't stay in trauma. We park that pain
(04:06):
in the past and we move forward. Girl, this show
is now the High Value Woman's playbook because you're not
here to just make it anymore. You're here to succeed
because you know what they say is the best revenge
your success. The High Value Woman brand is for the
(04:28):
financially independent, high achieving woman who is almost everything. Accept
the relationship with intimacy that matches her life. We're covering
it all this season. This is your bullet proof dating strategy.
To use the apps, to get off the apps, to
(04:49):
use opportunities in the wild, to find the partner that
you deserved in the first place. We're going to talk
about relationship mastering on this new brand. Communication polarity, conflict
that actually bonds you together as a couple, family, blended
family dynamics, boundaries that protect your peace and sex. That's
(05:12):
worth bragging about. Hell yeah, we're going to go there.
Safety desire skill. We'll talk about it all. I'm an
omen book. It's kind of my favorite topic. Okay, here's
my promise to you in this new season and in
this new brand zero fluff, I am no longer muzzled
(05:34):
by that past evangelical world I was associated with. I'm
going to give you my all, maximum effort, psychology, evidence, strategy,
and a lot of swagger, so you're ready, no more suffering.
This season is about your success, and as a collective,
(05:55):
it's about all of us working together. I don't know
about you, but I'm not about women that compete with
each other anymore. I'm about women that uplift other women.
So if you found me right now, welcome, make sure
you hit that subscribe button, girl, and make sure you
share this with your bad bitch bestie, because we are
(06:16):
in this together and we are not going to put
up with minimal effort anymore. We want it all because
we deserve it all, and you should never have to sacrifice.
So let's start here. Why are your thoughts running your
love life? And how do we take them hostage? Here's
(06:37):
the truth you came for. Your love life starts in
your head before it shows up in your bed, in
your internal script. You might be saying right now, ohmen
are absolute trash. Your brain called the reticular activating system.
Look it up, ris, It's a thing. It will filter
(06:59):
for evidence to prove you right. Psych one oh one,
you find what you look for. Your thoughts provoke your life.
Your thoughts become things and negativity bias and learned helplessness
from past heartbreak. Whatever the church taught you there was
a bunch of bs and boom. Your type becomes whoever
(07:24):
reenacts your worst story over and over again. No, we're
not doing that anymore. I call those scripts. You're ready
for me to get real with you, they're mental cock blocks.
Let's dismantle them. I want to teach you right now
in this debut episode of the new season, the New Brand,
(07:44):
the High Value Women's Collective, the High Value Women's Playbook,
the five S thought capture Method. Are you ready? Because again,
your thoughts become things. If you think dating is terrible,
if you think you're too old, if you think you're
never gonna find somebody that is okay with how much
money you make, like forget it, then that's what you're
(08:07):
gonna find. Let's change the script. Here is your five
C thought capture method. Number one. Catch notice the like
the pop up thought. He's probably just gonna ghost me,
right m. He probably doesn't like me. This isn't gonna work. No,
(08:30):
I want you to cancel that thought. My grandma used
to say, I by not thought, and the name of Jesus,
she would do this little thing. Those of you watching
on YouTube can see met fingers not today. I want
you to interrupt the loop and I want you to
say something different. I want you to say, Nope, I
am meeting the love of my life, a high value
(08:54):
man who treats me like an equal, an independent, strong
woman who's inspired by my ambition and never intimidated by it.
My ambition is sexy. Do you notice the difference? So
catch first, catch up that negative thought and be like, ooh,
(09:14):
I caught this thought. We're not going to believe it.
We're just going to like I'm a baseball mom, so
bear with me and a big baseball fan. So I
want you somebody, your brain, your reticulating activating system through
you the ball. You're going to catch it. But we
are not going to keep that piece of shit. Okay.
Then I want you to cross examine it. Ask this
(09:35):
about this negative thought. Is this a fact or is
this a forecast? What's the alternative explanation? Maybe he's in surgery,
that's why he hasn't texted me. Maybe he's with his kids.
Maybe he's really busy today. Chill, Okay, relax. If you've
(09:58):
crushed on a guy you went on on a date
and he hasn't text message you yet, let's not panic.
Let's just cross examine. Okay. Is it fact or forecast
you do not yet know, especially if you're dating a
high value man. He's busy, You want him to be busy.
If he is not busy, that means he's unemployed and
(10:19):
there's a problem, okay, Or that means he's not taking
care of his kids, if he has kids. So just chill.
Number one, catch the thought and just like so, my
son he's a great short stop, although his coach plays
him at third base because his coach needs to listen
to me. We'd win more games if my son was
shortstop because he knows how to reset. He catches the
(10:43):
ball and he's gonna reset it so he doesn't make
a shitty throat for us to get the out. He's
gonna make a dead on balls throw, so you're gonna
catch it, and you're gonna think for a little bit. Right,
We're gonna cross examine number three. Then you're gonna correct.
These are the five seas catch cross examine, then you're
(11:03):
going to correct replace with a high value woman. Truth.
Emotionally available reliable men exist, and I attract them. That
is it. Your thoughts provoke your life. Stop thinking he's
going to hosting me, and start thinking. No, emotionally available
(11:26):
reliable men exist and I'm the one that attracts them.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Okay, so here's what we did. We caught the negative thought.
We plant in our feet and we're.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Like, okay, where's the next out? Where am I going
to throw this ball? We correct our body and we
decide where are we going to go with this? Then
we condition. I want you to rehearse daily for thirty days.
This is called neuroplasticity. Neuroplastic City loves reps. Look it up,
(12:03):
so does your confidence. I want you to put sticky
notes everywhere, sticky notes on the mirror. I want phone
reminders on your phone, your wallpaper on your phone. Look
at that. There's my hobby. If you're watching on YouTube,
you can see him make it inescapable that emotionally available
reliable men exist and I attract them. Right, So let's
(12:26):
go back to our baseball analogy. The catch, He grounded
the ball. He looked, where's my next out? All right?
He cross examined it, he corrected, He said, oh, I
think the throws to first. And then how does he
make that debt on ball's accurate throw? He practices it
(12:47):
every single day with a target, and because he's practiced
it in the game, he knows I got this. That's
how convinced I want you to be that love exists
from you from a high value, equal partner. And then
(13:07):
number five, I want you to commit to action. Thoughts
change fastest in motion. Okay. The biggest annoyance of women
that get on a one on one dating strategy call
and they've been single for ten years and they're miserable,
and then I present them like, here I can coach you.
(13:28):
Here's a seven step plan to meet a high value
partner that I just want to think about it. I
was like, girl, you've been thinking about this for ten years.
You probably had to buy five vibrators. Sense Like, seriously, okay,
commit to action. Put your corrected belief on the calendar
(13:48):
to IRL, get in the room. How many moments this
week you're going to meet somebody? What's a profile upgrade?
You can do. Belief without behavior is just cosplay, savage
but true. If the story in your head right now
is men can't handle me, you unconsciously pick men who
(14:09):
can't see how that works. Your thoughts are becoming things,
my love, So let's change the thoughts to become better things.
If love keeps feeling like chaos, stop calling chaos in.
Stop calling chaos chemistry. Butterflies are freaking bad. You want peace.
Your standards are too high. Your boundaries are simply new. Okay,
(14:35):
if you're feeling like that, look maybe my standards are twohigh.
Maybe I'm too picky. No, that's called having new boundaries
and being a high value woman that doesn't put up
with breadcrumbs. Does that make in sense? So let's go
back to our baseball analogy. Are you liking this? We
caught the ball, we grounded it. Instead of going okay,
(14:55):
I'm not going to believe in this negativity, we cross examined.
We're like, okay, is this the truth? Maybe he's just
a little busy. He's like, where is the out? Where
do I throw the ball? And then we correct like
I've practiced this over and over again. I've rehearsed that
emotionally available men are available to me. I know exactly
how to make this throw, and we throw the ball
dead on balls, accurate to the first baseman. Because we've
(15:19):
rehearsed that we committed to action. We didn't sit there
and say, I'm gonna think about where I'm gonna throw this,
because then my son would be benched. He doesn't sit
and think. He knows because he catches it, knows, believes
in himself that he can make the out, throws it
and gets the out. If he waited to think about
(15:42):
it again, he'd be benched. Are you benching yourself and
your love life? Girl? What are you doing the single
most important decision that a woman ever makes in her life.
It's not about her job, not where she goes to college,
it's not about where she lives. It's about who you
(16:03):
spend your life with. I am here to help you
make a really good decision because I know I'm your
cautionary tale. I made a lot of terrible decisions, but
I put in the work and I learned what I
needed to do to change so that I could get
a different outcome, and it worked. And I'm not going
(16:23):
to gate keep this shit. I'm gonna share it with
you because I'm not one of those competitive women. I'm
a girl's girl that is here to see you when
I want to see you in love with an emotionally
available partner that treats you like an eagle, who is
not a maga that you have great sex with. Is
there anything else better? Let's go get that. I got
(16:44):
a little off topic. Okay, so those five s's. Let
me tell you, girl, I believe in you. If you're thinking, Amanda, okay,
this all sounds like a lot right now, and thinking
where do I even start? I got you start here? Okay.
The launch of this new podcast, the launch of me
(17:06):
finally feeling free from the cult of evangelicalism, where I
can share exactly who I am. I'm giving you a
free gift, the free High Value Woman's Guide to Dating.
It includes the profile cheat sheet how to create an
online dating profile that sends the clown away and only
(17:28):
attracts high value men that are not intimidated by your
ambition but they are freaking attracted to it. Okay, get that,
and then you will also get in my guide to dating,
the four Keys to finding a Healthy Man. There are
questions that you can ask in the messaging on a
dating app or when you meet somebody in the wild
on a first date. Very easy, simple questions that we
(17:52):
listen to to help determine if he has all four
keys to a healthy man. If he doesn't have all four,
he doesn't get a date. Okay, I'm going to show
you exactly how to do it so you don't waste
your time or get your heart broken again. Okay, I
got you again. I'm a Girl's girl. You can get
it for free. Just check the link in the profile
(18:12):
or go to the High Value Woman Playbook dot com. Woo,
that was a lot, This changes everything. Link is in
the show notes too, if that makes it easier for
you to click on that where you can always find
me on Instagram at the real Amanda Carrol and just
send me a message. It's only me in there. I
answer all my own messages. All right. Now, I want
(18:34):
to give you some strategy that actually works in finding love.
A little bit of psychology plus some streetmarts. Street smarts,
let's mix brain science with bad bitch energy.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
Ooh, that's some powerful shit right there. Right, So, if
you trend a little anxious, if your brain craves that
quick dopamine, hit like, raptize, instant reassurance. If you trend
little avoidant, like your brain craves like I need you
(19:07):
to be a little bit distant.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
This is for you. I want you to plan. I
want you to pre commit to rules before you are
flooded by a love bomber that you meet in online dating. Okay,
here's the rules. This is how to protect your heart.
Strategy that works to find a high value partner. No
(19:31):
double text within six hours. This is the rule. He's
going to try to blow you up. The bad ones
want to try to absolutely distract you. You're not going
to do that. He's going to message you. You're going
to respond, and then that's going to be it. Go
self soothed, go on a walk, go to the gym,
call a friend, listen to my podcast before you go.
(19:54):
Spiral rating for his response. No vanishing for days though. Okay,
we're going to communicate space with clarity. Hey, like, I'm
super busy today, I have a lot of appointments. Thank
you so much much for your message. I got it,
and I'm excited to see you on our date. I'll
talk to you then. You're busy. You are valuable show
(20:18):
it to him so he can chase you. If he
doesn't want to chase you, then you know he's low
value and he's just using you to feed his very
small ego. And that is a recipe for disaster. Deal.
So here's a little app psychology to help you understand
this dating apps run on. It's called a variable ratio reward.
(20:41):
It's kind of like casino psychology. If you've ever played
the slots, they're designed to make you chase the next hit.
So let's beat the house. I want you to treat
dating apps like sales funnels. All right, you're a bad bitch.
So you know this. Fifteen minutes on the dating apps,
(21:02):
three times a week, quality swipes only. That is it.
If he doesn't light you on fire, he's swiped left,
move high quality matches, then off the app within forty
eight to seventy two hours. You should never be messaging
somebody on the app for more than forty eight to
(21:25):
seventy two hours without a date. Hell no, we don't
do that. If he hasn't asked you out on a
date and you want to meet him, you ask him.
We are not in seventh grade anymore, Okay, Deal, The
fastest way to stand out is still in person. This
is in the wild magnetism, and I want you to
(21:45):
have your chance to show it to a high value
match that you're interested in within forty eight to seventy
two hours of matching. Sometimes a lot of men they
just they need that little like Hey, if you ask
me out to let I will say yes. So, if
there's a man that you're really interested, he is high value,
he hasn't had the guts to ask you out. He
(22:06):
probably just needs the sign that you're gonna say yes.
So you send this message to him. You say, Hey,
just wondering if this girl needs to pick out a
beautiful dress or cute sexy dress to wear this weekend
with a cute boy or even bigger bad bitch energy.
I want you to send this message. Hey, we could
(22:26):
go around and round here on this app or we
could just meet in the wild to see if we
have a real connection. What do you think? Do you
see the power in those You didn't ask him out,
but you told him Hey, I want you to ask
me out, and if you do, I will say yes.
The high value man will show up with a plan.
The low value man will either ghost or say oh sure,
(22:48):
but never reply with a time and a location. Great,
that's not a reflection on you. If they do that,
that's a reflection on them. So let's do that on
a grande effect and say thank you next, thanks for
showing me you are not worth my good hair, my blowout,
and my makeup. Okay, so make sure that you get
(23:11):
together with them as soon as possible. Let's talk about
meeting in the wild. It's not just dating apps that
I coach my one on one clients in my high
value women's online community and my dating coaching program called
Love Unlocked. We do both. We maximize, we double down,
(23:32):
we hedge our bets.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
Right.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
We go to dating apps, and then we also go
to opportunities to meet in real life. Where are the
high value men. They're early in the morning at the gym,
So girl, get up in five and at five am
and look cute by six at the gym. They're at
your industry conferences. Go sign up and look great and
wear heels. They're at charity galas, buy a table for
(23:56):
your friends. There are at wine tastings. Oh my god,
please go to the golf range. It is full of dudes. Okay,
you don't even have to play golf. Just show up
cute and hang out at the bar with some chicken fingers. Okay,
I don't care. Whatever it is. They're at airport lounges,
the ones that are behind the paywall, so make sure
(24:18):
you go. Do not wear sweats and look like a
homeless person when you're traveling, Okay, you need to look
like a million bucks and have first class tickets. If
you can't, here's the rule. You want to look great,
but you also don't want to be overly intimidating. You
want to be approachable on purpose. Your bud's out at
(24:42):
the gym, okay, if you can phone down, shoulders open, smile. Yeah,
you're allowed to flirt. It's not eighteen forty two. If
you're going to the gym with those like big air
pod maxes or air maxes. My kids have those, no
one's got to talk to you. Take them off, be
(25:03):
available and make little comments like are you done with
this squat machine? Okay? Thanks. You're sitting at the bar
at a local conference and somebody's sitting next to you
and they're kind of cute and they've got some food,
and you're like, oh, what did you order even though
I was like chicken figures and you know exactly what
(25:24):
it is that they ordered. Just started the conversation. Okay,
maximize those opportunities. Think real, think authenticity, think open, think love,
think kindness. You know the number one reason why, and
(25:46):
then swipe right on a dating app or they will
go up to talk to you in the wild. Has
nothing to do with how sex you are. What it
has to do with. According to studies, sixteen percent more
right swipes from men to women if she looks kind kind. Look.
(26:09):
I know you're a bad bitch and you have that
energy added to but let's stop repelling men. Let's just smile,
look kind and they will approach you. I promise you.
Even something simple like hey, want to do drinks Wednesday
or Thursday? If you're having a conversation, why not. Don't
(26:33):
confuse being hard to get with being hard to love.
If he wanted to be with you, you wouldn't be
confused about it. Remember chemistry plus consistency or it is
a no. When you're talking to somebody on the dating
apps or in the wild. Here's what I want you
(26:54):
to do this week. If you're like, oh my god, Amanda,
I love this. I'm into the new brand to be
part of the high value women's collective. I've got a
couple action items for you. It's not homework, okay, because
homework sucks. This is your power protocol. Move number one.
I want you to try if.
Speaker 5 (27:11):
You're in that mode were like there are no good men,
or there are no men that can handle how successful
I am, or all dating apps suck. If you're in
that negativity, we've got to redo that because your thoughts
provoke your life.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
So here's your moves for this week. Move number one
the seven day thought detoks band for one week, no
man passion, no hopelessness scripts like I'm too much. I
want you to replace it with I'm selective, I'm not impossible.
(27:45):
There are still good men. Aligned men are everywhere for me.
I'm a soft place to land and a hard woman
to lose. Girl, if you need to hit that little button,
rewind that thirty seconds and listen to that again. Okay,
this is your mantra for the next week. Again, no
(28:07):
man bashing or hopelessness scripts for the next seven days
until this next episode, and I'll tell you what to
do next. Okay. Move number two, I want you to
date like a CEO. Okay, you're the CEO of your
love life. Do not hire a matchmaker. All of them
are scams and basically it's patriarchy with whipgloss on.
Speaker 6 (28:29):
Okay, stop wasting your money at them. They're so expensive
it's ridiculous. You are a smart, well educated, successful woman.
Do not give into the patriarchy that makes you think
you have a bad picker.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Let's fix your picker. They don't know what attracts you
and make you wet. You do. So. I want you
to hire yourself as the CEO of your love life,
your dating apps, your HR You're gonna be slow to hire,
You're gonna be FASTI fire, and your for ever going
to rehire. Those are the rules. Inside Love Unlocked, I
(29:05):
teach my one on one clients how to do this.
Inside our online community is a great badass group of women,
the High Value Women's Collective. We talk about this on
a regular It's it's not uncommon for one of my
clients to be like so, I fired him. We don't
break up. We fire if he is not meeting your needs.
Do not waste your time on this man. If he
(29:26):
will not commit to you, he's gone. Because he's only
wasting your time. Men that don't know what they want
have low integrity, small little egos. Maybe they even drive
lift of trucks to make them feel better. You know
what I'm saying there. Okay, you're gonna date like a
CEO again, Slow to higher, fast, a fire, and you
(29:48):
never ever rehire. They do not get to come back
if they mess it up when they're on best behavior. Nope,
thank you. Next, then I want you to write down
your green flags. What does healthy look like for you?
How do you want to feel in a relationship. You
want to feel like he's somebody who can trust. He's reliable,
(30:10):
he's trustworthy, he's generous, he's kind. If he violates one
of those things, he's fired and you never ever rehire.
You would do this with an employee. So let's implement
that into your love life. Now. I want you to
set a KPI. Okay, I want you to set how
(30:32):
many times are you going to go in the wild
every week to try to meet people? And how many
quality dates one quality dat to week. I know you're like,
oh my god, Amanda, that is a lot. No, girl,
it is not like this is a game of numbers.
This is not luck. So I want you to boost
(30:53):
your numbers. If you had one day to week for
the next five to six weeks, you would meet your
partner to stop going so slow, and you should be
dating more people than one at the same time. Then
I want you to take fifteen minute app sprints every day,
fifteen minutes on your lunch hour. You're going to be
on that app pipeline. Baby dating is like sales. The
(31:17):
more conversations you have, the more doors you knock in,
the closer you are to your next result. Okay, here's
your move number three this week. Turn yourself on daily.
I really like this one one action a day that
makes you magnetic, lifting heavy at the gym, a sweaty hike,
(31:40):
lingerie under your blazer just because it makes you feel
sexy and you know it's there. Or a playlist that
turns you on, buying yourself a beautiful bouquet of flowers
and putting it next to your bed, because when you
are good loving yourself, you don't accept anyone else that
(32:04):
sucks at it. He's like, I can love me? Was
that Miley Cyrus? I can buy my self flowers. You
should have fresh flowers in your house. All the time.
Eventually the right man will see that and he'll make
sure that he freshens them. But for now, you do it, girl,
because you love You turn yourself on daily and if
(32:25):
it leads to other things, it leads to other things.
Good for you, girl. Confidence is your new perfume. Belief
is the new pheromone. When you walk into a room
and believe that you are a badass bitch who deserves
a high value partner, guess what. That's what you get
(32:46):
when you walk into the room with head down, like
they taught me in evangelicalism to be like, oh, I'm
just so lucky if anybody picks me so I can
be submissive. Oh my god, then what are you going
to get? A low value man that wants to control you,
use you, and abuse you. That is done. Remember we
don't chase anymore. We choose men biologically want to join
(33:11):
you physically. So I want you to build such a beautiful, magnetic,
high value life that he can't help but be obsessed
at joining what you got going on. Oh my god.
If he's intimidated by it at all, he's fired. I
remember early on going on dates and they're like, what
do you do. I'm like, well, I'm a nationally's indicated
(33:33):
radio host. Oh wow, how many radio stations are you're
on like six hundred and twenty? Like okay, and like
Erdila is like I bought my own house. Like well,
you're kind of intimidating. And I'd say, well, why don't
you just level up? They wouldn't get a second date,
don't Chase. I want you to choose, never dim your light,
(33:57):
still have a soft heart, but I I want you
to have steel boundaries. There is no sex without commitment, period,
but you should be doing it like the third fourth date.
I want you to say this, I'm not too much.
I'm never too much. Okay. I want to tell you
(34:17):
about Sarah. We'll call her Sarah. Okay. I keep all
of my clients privacy unless they allow me to share it.
She's a one on one client of mine right now,
million dollar smile, absolutely gorgeous, incredibly successful. And she was
setting up her dating app profile, which is one of
my favorite things I do. When you work with me
(34:38):
one on one, we go through this personally. I pick
your photos, I help you write everything. We do it
so wet, the clowns run away, and you only attract
high value and she was showing me. I said, what
your title says like executive management. I was like, that's
not your title. She goes, yeah, but like I just
I just wanted to look like, aren't approachable, Like well,
(35:02):
why are you dimming your light? It's like, I just
I don't know. I was like, that's a bunch of bullshit.
That's what the patriarchy is wanted women to do since
the dawn of time. But women again, and men again,
they want to join a woman's attractive life. They want
to join our bodies. They want to go to the
blaze where we've got nice sheets, we got silk pillowcases.
(35:23):
Right their bed is shitty. Ours as comfortable, Like you
should showcase how fancy you are. I was like, aren't you.
The CEO said yeah. I was like, then put that
as your title, because here's what that does. The men
that are intimidated by it won't even bother you. She's like,
that would be nice, but the men who are attracted
(35:45):
by it will reach out to you and respect you instantly.
That one change got her five high value partners that
she's dating, and now she's got a top of the roster.
She's choosing that's what you want. Never ever dim your light,
turn it up. Feed the fire girl. We had to
(36:07):
rewire her thoughts. We rebuilt that profile, and we got
her in conversations that were incredibly with high value men,
and we enforced the forty eight to seventy two hour
move to date rule after matching. They got forty eight hours.
If they haven't asked you out, you tell them you
want them to ask you out. If they don't, they're fired.
(36:29):
If they do, that's a yes. Because you are too
busy to waste another year of paying for dating app.
I want you to pay for like three months, maybe
two months, and then have to delete it. You follow
my system and that will work. If you've been paying
for over a year on a dating app. Girl, I
(36:49):
love you, but you are doing it wrong. Okay, Date
five was it? She found her guy safety laughter, confers Sincy.
Now they're ring shopping. This is what I want for you.
The more you turn up the volume on your value,
(37:11):
the stricter boundaries you set, the faster you find the
high value partner that you deserve. And I'm here to
help you, so please do me a favor and let
me know what you think. Leave some new reviews, shoot
me some messages. I know you saw a glimpse of
the real Amanda Carrol. It's only going to get more real.
(37:31):
Grab my free gift for this new launch of this
new season and this new rebrand of the High Value
Woman's Playbook. Get the Guide to Dating. You get the
profile cheat sheet, You get the healthy the four keys
to a healthy man's specific questions you can send in
the dating apps to see if he even bothers to
ask you out, and if you want to say yes
(37:52):
and use a good blowout and good makeup on him.
It's the difference between another ninety minutes you'll never get
back on a tear date, or the start of your
love story. The link to get that free gift is
in the show notes. Listen, I'm so glad you're with me.
Maybe you've been following me for a while. I built
(38:14):
the Single Mom collective from grit and grace. That work
in this previous season remains sacred. It is there for you.
Please share it with your friends. But this reinvention the
High Value Woman's Playbook is for the woman who refuses
to let her past write her future. You're done. You
(38:36):
want the best because you deserve the best. Reminds me
of this old boss I had in Christian radio when
I went and asked him for a flexible schedule because
I just had my first child and was breastfeeding. He's like, well,
you just want it all, and I said, yes, do
you have a problem with that. I want you to
have that attitude, and every episode is going to help
(38:58):
you achieve it and feel confident about it. I want
you to feel loved. I want you to be the
one that will not apologize for being ambitious, soft, sexy, wealthy, generous,
and deeply loved all at the same time. Because high
(39:21):
value women do not shrink. High value women don't shrink
their dreams to match their wounds. They heal their wounds
to match their dreams. And I can help you, and
it starts right now. This is something I do with
all of my clients. If you get on a free
(39:41):
dating strategy call, you can book it. In the show notes,
we will do this exact visualization together. Going back to baseball,
I did this with my son when he was in
eighth grade. He's a junior in high school now. He
was obsessed with hitting a home run. Like I don't
think he turned in any math, homework or any of
the books because all he could think about was hitting
(40:03):
a home run. So I knew I had to get
him to hit that home run. So we actually focused
in school. I said, Okay, we're going to do a
little visualization. We're on our way to practice. I said, hey,
tell me about the time you hit a home run.
He was like, Mom, I haven't hit home run yet.
I was like, don't care, like we're going to pretend
like Garrity did see the power of that. Your thoughts
become the things. I said, what did it sound like
(40:24):
when you hit? I was like, this is the best sound.
It was just like crack. Mom, I said, did you
know it was going over the fence? He goes yeah,
And I sat there and watched it. What'd you do
when you saw it hit the fence? I ran down
basis and I pulled my arms up in the air.
What'd you do when you got to first base? What happened?
Speaker 4 (40:42):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (40:42):
My friends were there and we celebrated, and then we
went out for pizza. Do you know how many times
it took to do that little visualization every time we
drove to practice. Tell me about the time you hit
home run till you hit one five drives. Just like
my promise to you, I can get you in a
committed relationship in five dates or less if you just
(41:05):
trust me and follow this system. So let's do this
for a minute, wanting you to close your.
Speaker 4 (41:10):
Eyes, and I want you to tell me about the
time you fell in love with a high value partner
who thought your ambition was the sexiest thing about you.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
It was never intimidated about your success. All right, you ready,
all right, if you got the gym girl to take
a little minute by the lockers, Okay, close your eyes.
It's the third date. You're walking into this restaurant. Then
you know you're falling for this guy, and you know
(41:49):
tonight it might be the night. He's already there, sitting
at the table. You walk in wearing a gorgeous red dress.
Heals the whole thing because he earned it. He sees
you and smiles. He stands up, He walks to the
(42:11):
other side of the table where your seat is, and
he pulls out the chair for you because he's a gentleman.
You sit down. He tucks you into that table. He
leans down and he gives you a kiss, and he
says God I'm so glad to see you, and you smile,
(42:33):
and he said glad to be with you too. He
sits down on his chair and he does that sexy
romantic thing where he grabs your hand like on the
top of the table and he holds it and he
looks at you and says, think, I'm falling in love
with you, and you said me too. How do you
(42:58):
feel in that moment? If you feel peace, excitement, comfort, security,
I want you to practice that every single day. How
committed are you to finding that in the next three
(43:20):
to six months? Scale one to ten. Are you up
there on that scale? Then I want you to do
this for me. I want you to go to the
show notes, do one of two things. At least, download
that free dating High Value Woman's Dating cheat sheet and
the four Keys to a Healthy Man. If you're ready
(43:42):
to go to the next step, I want you to
book a call with me. You and me. I'll help
you read to your dating profile and I will help
you find that love that you've always deserved. This is
not luck, This is preparation, This is alignment, and this
is action. So go grab that guide and I'm so
(44:05):
glad you're here. Thanks for understanding the arc from that
single mom collective to now the reinvention of the high
value women's playbook for the women that know that they
deserved more and instead of quitting, you're about to go
get it because you know that the definition of success
(44:28):
is in luck. It's a whole lot of not quitting.
Are you ready for it? Man? I'd love to be
the one that helps you. All right, take this energy
into your week. You are open, you are warm, you
are magnetic, you are not chasing. You are ready to choose. Girl.
(44:50):
If this hits you like in the rib cage today,
do me a couple favors? Could you subscribe to this
new podcast season right now? You don't miss the next episode.
Each episode is going to build so you have everything
you need to find this high value partner. Oh, I'm
going to go into the strategies. I'm going to help
you know how to message. Everything is going to be
(45:13):
there for you. We're even going to go there and
talk about sex because it's my favorite topic. And then
I want you to share this with a friend who
has everything to except the relationship that she deserves, just
like hit that little arrow and me like, hey, girl,
I think you might like this because no woman should
walk this road alone. The High Value Women's Collective. We
(45:36):
are not a group of competitive bitches. We do not
gate keep our secrets. We share our good Botox girl
with each other. Okay, I want you to share it
so we can all have the happiness, the joy, and
the love that you deserve. Step one, download your free
High Value Women's Guide to Dating. Step two, when you're
(45:59):
ready to skip old trial and error and paying for
a year on the dating app and build your exact
love plan, I want you to book a free High
Value dating strategy call with me. All the links are
in the show notes. We'll map it, we'll customize it,
and will execute it. Why Because this is my life's mission,
helping women like you who build everything finally receive the healthy, equal,
(46:25):
electric love you deserve with a sex life that lights
you on fire. Your love is not on pause, It's
in play baby. Right now, you're the one holding the ball.
Are you ready to execute hager before you hit play
(46:47):
on that next thing? That podcast you want to listen to.
I want you to do two things for me. First,
subscribe to the High Value Woman's Playbooks. You never miss
an episode every single week I'm going to walk you
step by step through healing, building unshakeable confidence, and finding
a healthy, incredible partner who matches your success and the
two you have great sex together. Second, grab your free
(47:09):
High Value Woman's Guide to Dating. Inside I give you
my dating app profile cheat cheese. You can attract high
quality men immediately, plus my four keys to spotting a
healthy man before you waste a second of your precious time. Hey,
that's pretty valuable. You're a badass bitch. You can download
it right now in the show notes. And if you
are ready to go deeper, book your free high value
(47:31):
dating strategy called This is My Life's Mission, helping women
like you get the love you deserve without ever settling,
without playing games, and without losing yourself in the process.
The link is in the show notes. And remember, you
are not too much, you are not too late, and
you are not out of time. You're just getting started.
(47:52):
Let's make this your year for love.
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