March 4, 2024 • 24 mins
In this episode, Rob and I talk about the contentment. What is contentment? How to identify contenment? Listen in to see how can you achieve happiness through contentment. This is part of our focus on mental health and how to achieve happiness and a happy mental state.
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DISCLAIMER: The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are the speaker’s own and do not constitute legal, medical, or other forms of professional advice. The material and information presented here is for general information and entertainment purposes only. The "Mental Wealth Podcast" and "Pedal My Way" names and all forms and abbreviations are the property of its owner and its use does not imply endorsement of or opposition to any specific organization, product, or service.
www.mentalwealthpod.com
www.pedalmyway.com
DISCLAIMER: The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are the speaker’s own and do not constitute legal, medical, or other forms of professional advice. The material and information presented here is for general information and entertainment purposes only. The "Mental Wealth Podcast" and "Pedal My Way" names and all forms and abbreviations are the property of its owner and its use does not imply endorsement of or opposition to any specific organization, product, or service.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hello, and welcome to Peddle my Way podcast, where we
talk about anything related to cycling and fitness. I'm your host, mcmurrali.
If you're a fan of the show, please remember to
subscribe to this podcast and follow the website pedlemway dot com.
Also follow at pedle my Way on Instagram to let
me know of your cycling into fitness goals. Good afternoon,
(00:27):
k not better at all, Rob getting excited for today's topic.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
So I think the idea today is that I'd like
to talk more about contentment, the idea of happiness and
what that is in the moment. It's a big idea.
It's a big conversation that people generally don't think about
day to day, and you don't often think about whether
you are happy within the moment. Last week we talked
a lot about advances in technology. We talked about the
(00:52):
Vision Pro. I'd like to talk about the sort of
relationship between contentment and technology and chasing the next thing.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
What do you think about that?
Speaker 1 (01:01):
I'm very interested in this. Actually, we talked about a
new technology that people hope to revolutionize the way we
interact with the vision pro and any of the new
social outreach gadgets. It's going to transform the way we
do but taking it one step back, our economy itself
is more on you either buyers or sellers. That's about it.
(01:24):
With this comes the pressure of buying things, things that
you really do not need. I think that's what we
touched about last week towards the end when we talked
about do we really need the new headset with a
virtual reality headset? Not that it's bad in any way,
but do you find use for it? That's how we
kind of ended it, and this kind of leads to
(01:46):
a bigger topic that we have been talking about the
past few series in terms of happiness, in terms of
mental health, contentment. I think it's one of the most
important things people. It's not that they don't know about it,
but it's they lose track of it. This is comparing
yourself to others who you do not know their means
(02:06):
of living. For example, if somebody on social media tries
to put up very flashy lifestyle me you would assume
that they work for that and you would want that,
but you do not know whether number one they are
taking on debt to fulfill that lifestyle. Is that contentment?
Is that happiness it ultimately comes down to what is
(02:27):
it that you want? Is that the understanding you have
as well.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Rob, Yeah, I think that's a You make a good
point about influences in social media in the context of
individual contentment and individuality and what we're actually chasing a
lot of social media now and I try to sort
of stay away from it, but this is a sort
of a sort of my view on social media now
(02:50):
is that it's gotten away from conversational interactions and it's
more about buying and selling and sponsored posts and what
product is this influencer using and what are your feelings
about this product? Like, you have conversations, but all the
conversations are about products rather than people. The initial promise
of social media was improving interactions with people and connecting
(03:13):
people from all parts of the world. My concern with
social media now, and this is getting into the topic
of contentment, is is it the push away from individual
conversations towards product based conversations?
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Is it talking?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Is it taking people away from discussing their own concerns, popes,
what they want for the future. Is it taking that
away and going towards how can I buy this thing?
How can I go on this vacation that I want.
Preasingly what I see online my day to day interactions
(03:48):
is people are chasing an idea that doesn't necessarily exist.
The scary thing is like the exotic vacation, as you
were saying, people are going into debt to be able
to travel to these plays. Is as an influencer and
selling a lifestyle the probably doesn't exist and can't materially
exist because not everybody can have the amount of money
that it would take to have this kind of lifestyle, right.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
So I'm giving it just a very generalized, easy to
understand example. If a person is earning a million dollars
a year, if he or she is living in a
penthouse somewhere upon concept or looking the sea, yes, maybe
he or she can afford it, Maybe he or she
can pay for it. They made it. If that's what
(04:33):
they want, can they achieve it? Congratulations? It does not
make sense for me to live that lifestyle if they
cannot afford it. But at the same time, if I'm
in my own little house, my own ecosystem of gadgets
that I have, if that gets me going every day
and I'm happy with it, I think that's what contentment is.
(04:56):
It's not feeling jealous of what others have. It's realizing
your situation. Take a holistic view of what you have,
what your family has, and does it serve your need.
It's not your ambition that I'm talking about, it's what
you have currently. Is that helping you. I'm not talking
(05:17):
about the next biggest thing. Your neighbor got a new car,
but is your five year old car still serving the purpose?
Are you happy with it now? I think it's a
more complicated question of what happiness is. So contentment is
related directly to happiness from our experience, at least from
my experience. Do I want a higher paying job? Yes,
of course, it's just that we don't want because somebody
(05:40):
paying you a million dollars is not going to give
you a free time right to enjoy the million dollars well.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
And also does somebody else making two million dollars.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Right exactly as you become a very good point. So
I think I mentioned this two right. So there is
an old cartoon or something where the on the road,
you know, a guy driving a spanking new sewee guy
next to him in a in an old sedan looking
up at the guy being in the SUVZ thinking I
wanted a sewe, and there's a guy in a bicycle
(06:10):
or like a bike right next to the sadan saying hey,
I want the sadan. And there's a guy next to
him on a cycle saying hey, I want the bike.
And at the last there's a person in sadhus looking
out of the window and the guy saying, hey, I
wish I had legs to walk. So it all depends
on a situation. There's nothing wrong in aiming for better
things in life. But if your mentality is that you
(06:33):
hate what you have currently, you'll never find contentment. What
is the guarantee that when you get the suw that
you will be happy in life? From at least what
the social media is what we can see every day,
there's always a push for more things. Get the next
big thing. You have to have it. When you get it,
there's always a newer thing coming up the following day.
(06:57):
So it's not I mean, that's how the econ operates,
but you don't have to do that for your own sanity.
It's a key point to keep in mind. Yeah, need
versus want is another thing that I think that defines contentment.
You needing something is something for it to survive. Right,
(07:18):
you need to go to the doctor to get your
health check. You need it. Do you want the latest
gizmo that is optional? You don't need it to survive,
but you can have it if you can afford it.
Kind of a mentality contentment is kind of very broad. Again,
this is just my thought, Rob, what do you do.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
If an individual is constantly looking at getting the next thing?
There are going to be things that you can't afford it.
There's sort of like a vacuum there. There's something that
has to be fulfilled that I don't think is being
filled by existence day to day. Like if you can't
be happy just I don't know, going for a walk
or just spending time with loved ones, whatever it is
(07:57):
your happiness if it comes from a product, okay, and
you buy the next thing and that that makes you happy,
it doesn't. I don't think that can exist for a
long time, that kind of contentment. You might be content
in that moment, but that lasts for until the next whatever,
the next vision pro comes out. You're constantly looking for
contentment from outside when it really it can't exist from outside.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Can it? Really?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Like you can't be content from when you're just looking
to other people to help you become content. You have
to be content within yourself and in what you are
doing and what you are accomplishing. Like the idea of
contentment is interesting in the sense that but I know
for sure in China there's a whole generation of young
men that are stepping back from the rat race. They're
(08:42):
opting out that they'd rather live in their parents' basement
and just enjoy that moment then try to compete with
one another for ever dwindling resources.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Actually, that is the kind of the recent news that
I've seen at least, is that the younger generation coming up,
they don't want to money driven lifestyle, consumer lifestyle. They
want more personal connects. I think that's a good outlook.
To have absolutely money other than your basic needs is
a question of how much do you need to survive.
(09:15):
Contentment I think goes a step further and I actually
identifying what it is that you want and he being
happy with what you have. Again, you know, it does
not have anything to do with your ambition for better things,
more better lifestyle, but realizing that what you have and
having happiness or getting happiness out of it.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
People who can.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Going behind material possessions are in general tend to have
less satisfaction in life. Research has shown that it's people
who have contentment in life, both with their personal relationships. Actually,
people who are content are known to have better personal
familial friend relationships than people who don't. People who don't
(10:01):
tend to be more materially satisfied, which never is the case.
They always looking for the for the next thing, for
the gratification.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yeah, that's a good point because it speaks to the
idea of what is enough?
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Like, when are you done collecting things?
Speaker 1 (10:21):
People who in general are more thoughtful in their approach,
questioning each decision. Do you really need it? Can I
afford it? Is it long term? Is it viable? Those
types of common questions are the people who tend to
be happier with the decisions than people just looking for
the next big thing.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yeah, I was just gonna I was just thinking about
something that I've started to do more for myself, and
I noticed what was happening is that when I would
go outside, say I was taking the dog for a walk,
I was or was going for a walk myself, going somewhere.
If I take my phone with me. I am constantly
thinking about work or other things. I'm not in the
(11:00):
moment if I take my phone with me. Now that
I started to leave my phone at home, I'm I'm
looking around more, I'm thinking about things more, and I'm
thinking more effectively. I'm resolving work problems that I have.
I'm resolving technical problem. I got an idea for something
that helped me financially just by going for a walk,
removing all distractions other than the dog.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
The dog is a big distraction.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Just by leaving my phone at home, one small thing
allowed me to sort of keep my focus on something
that is bothering me. It allowed my brain the ability
to resolve something move forward in some aspect. I don't
know what the process is is taking place in my
brain obviously, but it I think that it benefited me
(11:45):
just to not have that other distraction, as small as
it is, just having your phone in your pocket, it's
a very small distraction, but not leaving your phone leave
for me, leave my phone at home. I feel better
when I come back from that walk, I feel more refreshed,
I feel better, are able to take on another challenge
after that.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
At work, do people talk about hey, you know, you
know this guy did this at work in terms of
you know, hey, this guy didn't get a raised and
all those things. Do you guys talk about that? Just
the type of conversation we don't.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
I even and I've got to get better at this,
but even in my annual reviews at work, I don't
tend to talk about money. If I get a raise,
that's great, but I don't with my colleagues. I don't
talk about like, hey are you happy, Like hey, how's
you know, how are your finances doing?
Speaker 3 (12:32):
That kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
I try to talk about just work problems and sort
of you know, client problems and you know this kind
of thing. Try to resolve problems right, rather than talking
about personal things. I don't think it benefits anybody when
you have a workplace where people are bringing their personal
whatever it is, drama or whatever you want to call it,
(12:55):
personal baggage to the thing. If someone one of my
colleagues has come to me with a personal issue before
and I have sort of helped them privately deal with
that rather than via work, it's better to create that
hard line between your finances, your personal life, and work,
because once those sort of things merge and you know,
(13:17):
you start talking about, oh, I'm not making enough money
and this guy or girls woman is making more than
me at work, it becomes really about your envy rather
than collaboration, which for me was what should work should be.
Is you know, how do we figure out this issue,
how do we resolve this problem, how do we help
(13:38):
this client? That those sort of collaborative elements should be
in the foreground, not the background of these conversations. And
I hate talking about money in general and like how
much I make and how much someone else makes, because
it's really it's ironically, it's sort of like not that important.
I understand it's important to pay bills. I understand day
(13:58):
to day. You know, you need money to exists in
the society, but a few thousand dollars either way, Like you,
you've got to have a certain amount that you're happy with.
And you know, we can all do with more money.
We could always, you know, benefit from having a little
bit of flexibility in our budgets. But it goes back
to what I was saying, like what is enough? Like
what like I could make make more money, I could
(14:22):
get a second third or false job and keep making
more money. But at the end, of the day, like
I'm going to be naked, I'm going to be very tired,
I'm going to be not able to do my first
and second job.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Well, so how much how much time.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
And resources are we going to put towards bettering our
day to day existence?
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Right?
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Of course, what do you get out of it? Living
within your mean? Contentment starts from there. We had a
separate episode on financial anxiety, right, so this is also
part of that. I think it's how we started the
episode with, you know, people living their lifestyle on debt
just to create this false sense of security. Yeah, I
(15:03):
think that's if you are realistic in terms of your situation.
Everybody would like to be a millionaire. Everybody would like
to travel first class, you know, to Monoco or any
tropical islands, but not everybody can do that. How some
people can do that, that's a different conversation. But you,
as an individual, are you able to do that? Can
you afford it?
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Number one?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
In your current situation? Right, And if you can't, that's fine,
that's not the end of the world. You have to
make use of or plan your trips, your vacation, your
life with what you can afford. So having a realistic
look at what you can affer and what you can do.
That says a lot about how you can plan the future,
(15:45):
and that also goes back into your mental health. Taking
stock of what you are able to do with what
you have, yes, and being realistic in your expectations make
changes to your lifestyle accordingly.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Yeah, and I would say what would help people more
is enjoy the process rather than the thing that you
get at the end of the process.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
That's a very good thing.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Yes, you're right.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Enjoy the steps that it takes, whether it's you know,
getting in shape or whether it's getting a million dollars.
Enjoy that day to day experience more than you would
enjoy getting the million dollars or getting the six pack,
whatever it is, because that process will motivate you to
do it again and again and again. When you enjoy
(16:32):
the process of getting better at something. There was a
small part of me when I was younger that would
compare myself to other people while we can, but there's
no there's no benefit to it. I'm happy that I
got in shape. I got in shape during COVID, but
I think about those you know, five k's, ten k
runs or whatever, and I still am so happy thinking
(16:53):
about those memories of enjoying those runs. I didn't really
you might not have enjoyed the moment, like the effort
that you know, the pains in your legs that you
get from trying to get in shape. That those things
are not obviously not enjoyable in that moment. But you
have to be content with the idea of improving yourself
(17:13):
and enjoying the process rather than constantly aiming for the
next goal and the next big thing, because often it
doesn't come. And often once you get the thing that
you thought you wanted, you become more not depressed necessarily,
but more down because it doesn't give you that same feeling,
(17:35):
so all the feeling that you thought you were going
to get. So for me, that's that's what's happened quite
a few times where say, my football team won a
big trophy, like, well, okay, the winning the trophy is great,
but I enjoyed watching the process, watching them win the
games and being there watching with my friends and my family,
you know, enjoy that process. Again, I'm trying to think
(17:57):
of a better phrase and a better word for it.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
I think it talking about the opportunity cost right when
you want to get something, you lose something. That's how
things work. When you're so concentrated on getting the next
big thing, you know, the next job or your business,
you know, the next big contract, you lose something in
the process. The more effort you put into something, be
cognizant of what it is that you're trying to get.
(18:20):
Maybe it's a one time thing, right, so maybe it's
your next job. Once you get it, you can come
back to your life. But that can't be your life
always looking for the next thing, because you'll be losing
out on kids, your kids times. You know, if you
have a family, you'll be losing up on family times.
You'll be not talking to friends. I think those add
much more value than materialistic pursuits. If you're trying to
(18:44):
get something, see what you're leaving behind. Because the grass
is always greener, as they say, So is your current
grass green? You know?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Your is?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
It just hopes what you're looking for is better than
what you have now. So I think that's one takeaway
that I do every time.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Yeah, one hundred percent for me.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
The big takeaway from this conversation is that I think
you and I have always been on the same page
on this, but hopefully other people can sort of take
away the idea that look introspectively, like what do you
currently have and why do you want this thing that
you think you want? What what what benefit are you
(19:23):
going to actually get from this thing, whether it's more money,
whether it's a new car. What is it that you're
at Your brain is saying what are you missing that
makes you think that this is gonna solve something.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Or to add to that? Or are you getting something
just to appear a certain way to some people? And
is that really worth it?
Speaker 3 (19:45):
And and why does that? Why does that person's opinion
matter so much?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yeah, I think that's the answer that I ask when
I see, you know, all these social media influencers, you know,
having a jet setting lifestyle. I'm like, Okay, I'm happy
for you, but you or is it really worth it
showing off what you're trying to do?
Speaker 3 (20:03):
One hund percent?
Speaker 2 (20:04):
The main takeaway for me is that what is the
impact of someone that doesn't have what that that person has?
What is what are they looking at and what are
they seeing and how do they how does that make
them feel when they see those things?
Speaker 1 (20:16):
But this has been a good conversation, Rob. I think
this was ties back to our original mental health thing,
because I don't think we touched on contentment, and this
won't be the catch all of this diverse topic. Right,
This is a huge topic. A lot of things going
to a person being happy, a lot of things going
to somebody being content, And it's not easy for everybody
(20:37):
to attained because of the personal situations. But contentment can
be found can be applied to any situation, at least
in any realistic situation.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, what I would say is if you are feeling
that you aren't happy in that moment, it's always good
to question why is this going to benefit you? And
those things it's going to be, Yeah, kind of because
I will have new shoes or a new car or whatever.
But does it have to be a fifty thousand dollars
car or sixty thousand dollars card? Does it have to
(21:11):
be five hundred dollar booits? That's something that I've sort
of tried to apply. My life is not going for
things that I think will impress people. I tend to
think that most people are impressed by character rather than
anything else.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I don't think I have met anybody who has been
impressed by any car that somebody drove showing off in
a way that comes off as obnoxious as never worked
and can shows the insecurities in people who do that.
People who can genuinely afford it, they really don't care
what others think. People who are looking for validation are
(21:49):
the ones that form the majority of people on social
media and who we are trying to talk about in
this episode, because that shows that they are really not
content on what their life is. They're trying to somebody
they're not and that's not sustainable in the long term.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
So what I think would be good would also be
to say to those people that are whether you're an
influencer or whether you are struggling with debt right now,
because you have this lifestyle that is not sustainable. What
I would say to them is sort of speak to
other people about it. Speak to people about your insecurities.
I know it's very easy for me to say, but
I think you'll find that a lot of people would
(22:24):
be open to discussing the challenges that you're facing, even
though you have the outward appearance of wealth. You might
say to someone else, so you know, I'm really worried
about you know, I've got this thousands of dollars of
debt per month. I've got this thing, but I don't
know what to do with it. Discuss these things with
other people and sort of you'll find that you can
make a connection regardless of your position or social standing
(22:47):
or current wealth.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
You don't have to be pressured into following anybody's lifestyle.
You don't have to feel pressured into giving up your
financial freedom. Just don't go into debt. Be realist, take
in your what you what you can afford and not affort.
I think that's kind of solve most of the financial problems,
not all. Each person's situation is different.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Yeah, I think that's that's about right. I think you've
you've nailed it there with what is it that we're
sort of trying to accomplish here with the conversation, and
I've enjoyed this discussion. I think it's hopefully going to
be beneficial to quite a lot of people to think
about where they are and what they want to accomplish,
(23:35):
and whether they are happy in the moment. And hopefully
people that are listening have benefited in some way from
this conversation. I know you and neither of us are
mental health professionals, but we try to speak openly and
authentically and honestly about what we're going through, and would
hope that anyone else going through a challenging experience that
(23:57):
is questioning whether their content reach out to the point
and discuss your concerns with others.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Rob and I are in know a mental health expert.
We are just trying to find meaning in what we
are trying to do. This is all personal experience, so
please reach out to a mental health expert if you
have any issues. So, Rob, this has been a very
interesting conversation. Thank you for your time. Till next time
you have a good one.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
You'd say it's great talking to youm Aken, I appreciate it.
Hello, and welcome to Peddle my Way podcast, where we
talk about anything related to cycling and fitness. I'm your host, mcmurrali.
If you're a fan of the show, please remember to
subscribe to this podcast and follow the website pedlemway dot com.
Also follow at pedle my Way on Instagram to let
me know of your cycling into fitness goals. Good afternoon,
(00:27):
k not better at all, Rob getting excited for today's topic.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
So I think the idea today is that I'd like
to talk more about contentment, the idea of happiness and
what that is in the moment. It's a big idea.
It's a big conversation that people generally don't think about
day to day, and you don't often think about whether
you are happy within the moment. Last week we talked
a lot about advances in technology. We talked about the
(00:52):
Vision Pro. I'd like to talk about the sort of
relationship between contentment and technology and chasing the next thing.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
What do you think about that?
Speaker 1 (01:01):
I'm very interested in this. Actually, we talked about a
new technology that people hope to revolutionize the way we
interact with the vision pro and any of the new
social outreach gadgets. It's going to transform the way we
do but taking it one step back, our economy itself
is more on you either buyers or sellers. That's about it.
(01:24):
With this comes the pressure of buying things, things that
you really do not need. I think that's what we
touched about last week towards the end when we talked
about do we really need the new headset with a
virtual reality headset? Not that it's bad in any way,
but do you find use for it? That's how we
kind of ended it, and this kind of leads to
(01:46):
a bigger topic that we have been talking about the
past few series in terms of happiness, in terms of
mental health, contentment. I think it's one of the most
important things people. It's not that they don't know about it,
but it's they lose track of it. This is comparing
yourself to others who you do not know their means
(02:06):
of living. For example, if somebody on social media tries
to put up very flashy lifestyle me you would assume
that they work for that and you would want that,
but you do not know whether number one they are
taking on debt to fulfill that lifestyle. Is that contentment?
Is that happiness it ultimately comes down to what is
(02:27):
it that you want? Is that the understanding you have
as well.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Rob, Yeah, I think that's a You make a good
point about influences in social media in the context of
individual contentment and individuality and what we're actually chasing a
lot of social media now and I try to sort
of stay away from it, but this is a sort
of a sort of my view on social media now
(02:50):
is that it's gotten away from conversational interactions and it's
more about buying and selling and sponsored posts and what
product is this influencer using and what are your feelings
about this product? Like, you have conversations, but all the
conversations are about products rather than people. The initial promise
of social media was improving interactions with people and connecting
(03:13):
people from all parts of the world. My concern with
social media now, and this is getting into the topic
of contentment, is is it the push away from individual
conversations towards product based conversations?
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Is it talking?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Is it taking people away from discussing their own concerns, popes,
what they want for the future. Is it taking that
away and going towards how can I buy this thing?
How can I go on this vacation that I want.
Preasingly what I see online my day to day interactions
(03:48):
is people are chasing an idea that doesn't necessarily exist.
The scary thing is like the exotic vacation, as you
were saying, people are going into debt to be able
to travel to these plays. Is as an influencer and
selling a lifestyle the probably doesn't exist and can't materially
exist because not everybody can have the amount of money
that it would take to have this kind of lifestyle, right.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
So I'm giving it just a very generalized, easy to
understand example. If a person is earning a million dollars
a year, if he or she is living in a
penthouse somewhere upon concept or looking the sea, yes, maybe
he or she can afford it, Maybe he or she
can pay for it. They made it. If that's what
(04:33):
they want, can they achieve it? Congratulations? It does not
make sense for me to live that lifestyle if they
cannot afford it. But at the same time, if I'm
in my own little house, my own ecosystem of gadgets
that I have, if that gets me going every day
and I'm happy with it, I think that's what contentment is.
(04:56):
It's not feeling jealous of what others have. It's realizing
your situation. Take a holistic view of what you have,
what your family has, and does it serve your need.
It's not your ambition that I'm talking about, it's what
you have currently. Is that helping you. I'm not talking
(05:17):
about the next biggest thing. Your neighbor got a new car,
but is your five year old car still serving the purpose?
Are you happy with it now? I think it's a
more complicated question of what happiness is. So contentment is
related directly to happiness from our experience, at least from
my experience. Do I want a higher paying job? Yes,
of course, it's just that we don't want because somebody
(05:40):
paying you a million dollars is not going to give
you a free time right to enjoy the million dollars well.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
And also does somebody else making two million dollars.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Right exactly as you become a very good point. So
I think I mentioned this two right. So there is
an old cartoon or something where the on the road,
you know, a guy driving a spanking new sewee guy
next to him in a in an old sedan looking
up at the guy being in the SUVZ thinking I
wanted a sewe, and there's a guy in a bicycle
(06:10):
or like a bike right next to the sadan saying hey,
I want the sadan. And there's a guy next to
him on a cycle saying hey, I want the bike.
And at the last there's a person in sadhus looking
out of the window and the guy saying, hey, I
wish I had legs to walk. So it all depends
on a situation. There's nothing wrong in aiming for better
things in life. But if your mentality is that you
(06:33):
hate what you have currently, you'll never find contentment. What
is the guarantee that when you get the suw that
you will be happy in life? From at least what
the social media is what we can see every day,
there's always a push for more things. Get the next
big thing. You have to have it. When you get it,
there's always a newer thing coming up the following day.
(06:57):
So it's not I mean, that's how the econ operates,
but you don't have to do that for your own sanity.
It's a key point to keep in mind. Yeah, need
versus want is another thing that I think that defines contentment.
You needing something is something for it to survive. Right,
(07:18):
you need to go to the doctor to get your
health check. You need it. Do you want the latest
gizmo that is optional? You don't need it to survive,
but you can have it if you can afford it.
Kind of a mentality contentment is kind of very broad. Again,
this is just my thought, Rob, what do you do.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
If an individual is constantly looking at getting the next thing?
There are going to be things that you can't afford it.
There's sort of like a vacuum there. There's something that
has to be fulfilled that I don't think is being
filled by existence day to day. Like if you can't
be happy just I don't know, going for a walk
or just spending time with loved ones, whatever it is
(07:57):
your happiness if it comes from a product, okay, and
you buy the next thing and that that makes you happy,
it doesn't. I don't think that can exist for a
long time, that kind of contentment. You might be content
in that moment, but that lasts for until the next whatever,
the next vision pro comes out. You're constantly looking for
contentment from outside when it really it can't exist from outside.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Can it? Really?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Like you can't be content from when you're just looking
to other people to help you become content. You have
to be content within yourself and in what you are
doing and what you are accomplishing. Like the idea of
contentment is interesting in the sense that but I know
for sure in China there's a whole generation of young
men that are stepping back from the rat race. They're
(08:42):
opting out that they'd rather live in their parents' basement
and just enjoy that moment then try to compete with
one another for ever dwindling resources.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Actually, that is the kind of the recent news that
I've seen at least, is that the younger generation coming up,
they don't want to money driven lifestyle, consumer lifestyle. They
want more personal connects. I think that's a good outlook.
To have absolutely money other than your basic needs is
a question of how much do you need to survive.
(09:15):
Contentment I think goes a step further and I actually
identifying what it is that you want and he being
happy with what you have. Again, you know, it does
not have anything to do with your ambition for better things,
more better lifestyle, but realizing that what you have and
having happiness or getting happiness out of it.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
People who can.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Going behind material possessions are in general tend to have
less satisfaction in life. Research has shown that it's people
who have contentment in life, both with their personal relationships. Actually,
people who are content are known to have better personal
familial friend relationships than people who don't. People who don't
(10:01):
tend to be more materially satisfied, which never is the case.
They always looking for the for the next thing, for
the gratification.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yeah, that's a good point because it speaks to the
idea of what is enough?
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Like, when are you done collecting things?
Speaker 1 (10:21):
People who in general are more thoughtful in their approach,
questioning each decision. Do you really need it? Can I
afford it? Is it long term? Is it viable? Those
types of common questions are the people who tend to
be happier with the decisions than people just looking for
the next big thing.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yeah, I was just gonna I was just thinking about
something that I've started to do more for myself, and
I noticed what was happening is that when I would
go outside, say I was taking the dog for a walk,
I was or was going for a walk myself, going somewhere.
If I take my phone with me. I am constantly
thinking about work or other things. I'm not in the
(11:00):
moment if I take my phone with me. Now that
I started to leave my phone at home, I'm I'm
looking around more, I'm thinking about things more, and I'm
thinking more effectively. I'm resolving work problems that I have.
I'm resolving technical problem. I got an idea for something
that helped me financially just by going for a walk,
removing all distractions other than the dog.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
The dog is a big distraction.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Just by leaving my phone at home, one small thing
allowed me to sort of keep my focus on something
that is bothering me. It allowed my brain the ability
to resolve something move forward in some aspect. I don't
know what the process is is taking place in my
brain obviously, but it I think that it benefited me
(11:45):
just to not have that other distraction, as small as
it is, just having your phone in your pocket, it's
a very small distraction, but not leaving your phone leave
for me, leave my phone at home. I feel better
when I come back from that walk, I feel more refreshed,
I feel better, are able to take on another challenge
after that.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
At work, do people talk about hey, you know, you
know this guy did this at work in terms of
you know, hey, this guy didn't get a raised and
all those things. Do you guys talk about that? Just
the type of conversation we don't.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
I even and I've got to get better at this,
but even in my annual reviews at work, I don't
tend to talk about money. If I get a raise,
that's great, but I don't with my colleagues. I don't
talk about like, hey are you happy, Like hey, how's
you know, how are your finances doing?
Speaker 3 (12:32):
That kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
I try to talk about just work problems and sort
of you know, client problems and you know this kind
of thing. Try to resolve problems right, rather than talking
about personal things. I don't think it benefits anybody when
you have a workplace where people are bringing their personal
whatever it is, drama or whatever you want to call it,
(12:55):
personal baggage to the thing. If someone one of my
colleagues has come to me with a personal issue before
and I have sort of helped them privately deal with
that rather than via work, it's better to create that
hard line between your finances, your personal life, and work,
because once those sort of things merge and you know,
(13:17):
you start talking about, oh, I'm not making enough money
and this guy or girls woman is making more than
me at work, it becomes really about your envy rather
than collaboration, which for me was what should work should be.
Is you know, how do we figure out this issue,
how do we resolve this problem, how do we help
(13:38):
this client? That those sort of collaborative elements should be
in the foreground, not the background of these conversations. And
I hate talking about money in general and like how
much I make and how much someone else makes, because
it's really it's ironically, it's sort of like not that important.
I understand it's important to pay bills. I understand day
(13:58):
to day. You know, you need money to exists in
the society, but a few thousand dollars either way, Like you,
you've got to have a certain amount that you're happy with.
And you know, we can all do with more money.
We could always, you know, benefit from having a little
bit of flexibility in our budgets. But it goes back
to what I was saying, like what is enough? Like
what like I could make make more money, I could
(14:22):
get a second third or false job and keep making
more money. But at the end, of the day, like
I'm going to be naked, I'm going to be very tired,
I'm going to be not able to do my first
and second job.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Well, so how much how much time.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
And resources are we going to put towards bettering our
day to day existence?
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Right?
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Of course, what do you get out of it? Living
within your mean? Contentment starts from there. We had a
separate episode on financial anxiety, right, so this is also
part of that. I think it's how we started the
episode with, you know, people living their lifestyle on debt
just to create this false sense of security. Yeah, I
(15:03):
think that's if you are realistic in terms of your situation.
Everybody would like to be a millionaire. Everybody would like
to travel first class, you know, to Monoco or any
tropical islands, but not everybody can do that. How some
people can do that, that's a different conversation. But you,
as an individual, are you able to do that? Can
you afford it?
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Number one?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
In your current situation? Right, And if you can't, that's fine,
that's not the end of the world. You have to
make use of or plan your trips, your vacation, your
life with what you can afford. So having a realistic
look at what you can affer and what you can do.
That says a lot about how you can plan the future,
(15:45):
and that also goes back into your mental health. Taking
stock of what you are able to do with what
you have, yes, and being realistic in your expectations make
changes to your lifestyle accordingly.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Yeah, and I would say what would help people more
is enjoy the process rather than the thing that you
get at the end of the process.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
That's a very good thing.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Yes, you're right.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Enjoy the steps that it takes, whether it's you know,
getting in shape or whether it's getting a million dollars.
Enjoy that day to day experience more than you would
enjoy getting the million dollars or getting the six pack,
whatever it is, because that process will motivate you to
do it again and again and again. When you enjoy
(16:32):
the process of getting better at something. There was a
small part of me when I was younger that would
compare myself to other people while we can, but there's
no there's no benefit to it. I'm happy that I
got in shape. I got in shape during COVID, but
I think about those you know, five k's, ten k
runs or whatever, and I still am so happy thinking
(16:53):
about those memories of enjoying those runs. I didn't really
you might not have enjoyed the moment, like the effort
that you know, the pains in your legs that you
get from trying to get in shape. That those things
are not obviously not enjoyable in that moment. But you
have to be content with the idea of improving yourself
(17:13):
and enjoying the process rather than constantly aiming for the
next goal and the next big thing, because often it
doesn't come. And often once you get the thing that
you thought you wanted, you become more not depressed necessarily,
but more down because it doesn't give you that same feeling,
(17:35):
so all the feeling that you thought you were going
to get. So for me, that's that's what's happened quite
a few times where say, my football team won a
big trophy, like, well, okay, the winning the trophy is great,
but I enjoyed watching the process, watching them win the
games and being there watching with my friends and my family,
you know, enjoy that process. Again, I'm trying to think
(17:57):
of a better phrase and a better word for it.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
I think it talking about the opportunity cost right when
you want to get something, you lose something. That's how
things work. When you're so concentrated on getting the next
big thing, you know, the next job or your business,
you know, the next big contract, you lose something in
the process. The more effort you put into something, be
cognizant of what it is that you're trying to get.
(18:20):
Maybe it's a one time thing, right, so maybe it's
your next job. Once you get it, you can come
back to your life. But that can't be your life
always looking for the next thing, because you'll be losing
out on kids, your kids times. You know, if you
have a family, you'll be losing up on family times.
You'll be not talking to friends. I think those add
much more value than materialistic pursuits. If you're trying to
(18:44):
get something, see what you're leaving behind. Because the grass
is always greener, as they say, So is your current
grass green? You know?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Your is?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
It just hopes what you're looking for is better than
what you have now. So I think that's one takeaway
that I do every time.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Yeah, one hundred percent for me.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
The big takeaway from this conversation is that I think
you and I have always been on the same page
on this, but hopefully other people can sort of take
away the idea that look introspectively, like what do you
currently have and why do you want this thing that
you think you want? What what what benefit are you
(19:23):
going to actually get from this thing, whether it's more money,
whether it's a new car. What is it that you're
at Your brain is saying what are you missing that
makes you think that this is gonna solve something.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Or to add to that? Or are you getting something
just to appear a certain way to some people? And
is that really worth it?
Speaker 3 (19:45):
And and why does that? Why does that person's opinion
matter so much?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yeah, I think that's the answer that I ask when
I see, you know, all these social media influencers, you know,
having a jet setting lifestyle. I'm like, Okay, I'm happy
for you, but you or is it really worth it
showing off what you're trying to do?
Speaker 3 (20:03):
One hund percent?
Speaker 2 (20:04):
The main takeaway for me is that what is the
impact of someone that doesn't have what that that person has?
What is what are they looking at and what are
they seeing and how do they how does that make
them feel when they see those things?
Speaker 1 (20:16):
But this has been a good conversation, Rob. I think
this was ties back to our original mental health thing,
because I don't think we touched on contentment, and this
won't be the catch all of this diverse topic. Right,
This is a huge topic. A lot of things going
to a person being happy, a lot of things going
to somebody being content, And it's not easy for everybody
(20:37):
to attained because of the personal situations. But contentment can
be found can be applied to any situation, at least
in any realistic situation.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, what I would say is if you are feeling
that you aren't happy in that moment, it's always good
to question why is this going to benefit you? And
those things it's going to be, Yeah, kind of because
I will have new shoes or a new car or whatever.
But does it have to be a fifty thousand dollars
car or sixty thousand dollars card? Does it have to
(21:11):
be five hundred dollar booits? That's something that I've sort
of tried to apply. My life is not going for
things that I think will impress people. I tend to
think that most people are impressed by character rather than
anything else.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I don't think I have met anybody who has been
impressed by any car that somebody drove showing off in
a way that comes off as obnoxious as never worked
and can shows the insecurities in people who do that.
People who can genuinely afford it, they really don't care
what others think. People who are looking for validation are
(21:49):
the ones that form the majority of people on social
media and who we are trying to talk about in
this episode, because that shows that they are really not
content on what their life is. They're trying to somebody
they're not and that's not sustainable in the long term.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
So what I think would be good would also be
to say to those people that are whether you're an
influencer or whether you are struggling with debt right now,
because you have this lifestyle that is not sustainable. What
I would say to them is sort of speak to
other people about it. Speak to people about your insecurities.
I know it's very easy for me to say, but
I think you'll find that a lot of people would
(22:24):
be open to discussing the challenges that you're facing, even
though you have the outward appearance of wealth. You might
say to someone else, so you know, I'm really worried
about you know, I've got this thousands of dollars of
debt per month. I've got this thing, but I don't
know what to do with it. Discuss these things with
other people and sort of you'll find that you can
make a connection regardless of your position or social standing
(22:47):
or current wealth.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
You don't have to be pressured into following anybody's lifestyle.
You don't have to feel pressured into giving up your
financial freedom. Just don't go into debt. Be realist, take
in your what you what you can afford and not affort.
I think that's kind of solve most of the financial problems,
not all. Each person's situation is different.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Yeah, I think that's that's about right. I think you've
you've nailed it there with what is it that we're
sort of trying to accomplish here with the conversation, and
I've enjoyed this discussion. I think it's hopefully going to
be beneficial to quite a lot of people to think
about where they are and what they want to accomplish,
(23:35):
and whether they are happy in the moment. And hopefully
people that are listening have benefited in some way from
this conversation. I know you and neither of us are
mental health professionals, but we try to speak openly and
authentically and honestly about what we're going through, and would
hope that anyone else going through a challenging experience that
(23:57):
is questioning whether their content reach out to the point
and discuss your concerns with others.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Rob and I are in know a mental health expert.
We are just trying to find meaning in what we
are trying to do. This is all personal experience, so
please reach out to a mental health expert if you
have any issues. So, Rob, this has been a very
interesting conversation. Thank you for your time. Till next time
you have a good one.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
You'd say it's great talking to youm Aken, I appreciate it.
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