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August 12, 2025 • 19 mins
This complement episode continues the disucssions in previous episode 35. Here Dr. Levine answers questions on common work-place related issues, providing practical advice that is aimed to reduce stress and help you make meaningful changes to improve your mental health.

Previous episode: https://mentalwealthpod.com/episode-35-whats-really-happening-to-our-mental-health-at-work
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
For add three episodes of the Mental Wealth podcasts, head
to mentalwealthpod dot gumrow dot com. Doctor Levigne, We've had
so many listener questions on different subjects related to the
various podcasts. We've had questions about workplace, burnout, anxiety at work,
and i'd like mcun to read out some of our

(00:26):
listener questions. We're going to start with a question on burnout.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
I feel completely drained every day after work and I
can't seem to recover even on weekends. How do I
tell the difference between normal work stress and actual burnout?
And what can I do to protect myself and my
workload isn't going to change anytime, So.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
All of us feel tired to some extent at the
end of the workday. That's perfectly normal. You know your
listener is describing I can't recover on the weekend, and
that suggests to me that that's burnout developing. Well, the
secret is developing resilience, and resilience comes from doing things

(01:06):
to take care of yourself and maybe during the work
day and maybe after before give you a couple of
very specific examples. One is for me, and this is
not the answer for everybody. It's exercise. I have rigidly
for my entire career exercise before work. You know. I
sometimes swim, sometimes rhymes, sometimes walk, but every day I

(01:30):
religiously do that. So when I enter the workspace, then
I'm already feeling as relaxed as I could possibly feel.
The second thing is paying attention to your internal and
almost call it your internal heart monitor. You know, if
you're feeling that degree of tension, there's a couple things

(01:51):
that you can do. You can say, all right, once
an hour, I'm going to stand up, stand up, take
a walk and turn around, walk, go get it, drink,
but take those very short breaks because that will be significant.
You know. A third thing is I see a lot
of employees not take lunch now they work through lunch,

(02:13):
and lunch isn't about the food. Lunch is about decompressing
in a way that it will help you have more
energy through throughout the rest of the day. A fourth
thing that you can do, I think it's very important.
You know, we talked earlier about prioritization. It's important to
know what's most important. And sometimes people will tell you

(02:37):
in that situation, I can't get started, I just can't.
I just can't do anything. So if I have my
list of tasks, projects and subtasks and so forth, I
pick something easy. Now that's a way just to get
myself started, to get some inertia. Sometimes I will play
a little game with myself where I know I have

(02:57):
five things I'm supposed to do, I don't feel like
doing anything, write them down on pieces of paper, put
them in a bag, put your hand in and just agree,
I'm going to do one. Whatever it is, I'll do it.
So make you know, make it a little bit of fun.
The other thing that I think is really critical, and
not everybody can leave at four o'clock or five o'clock

(03:18):
whenever the day ends, have a some of them. A
lot of people can leave, but don't leave. They feel like,
I've just got to get this done. And you could
do that one day. But when you find it's a
regular pattern, that's where you're going to burn out. But
let's assume it's not every day. But the collective has
just gotten a little bit too much. Or I don't

(03:39):
know how to People say I don't know how to
unwind at the end of the day. One of the
things if you work in a office, when you come home,
change your clothes. Whatever you do, change your clothes because
this is my work clothes, you know, this is my
leisure clothes. It seems silly, but a lot of people
come home, they sit down down, whether they pour themselves

(04:01):
a drink, they have a glass water, they just sit
for a bit. But changing your clothes means now my
brain knows I'm not working. And psychologically, while it doesn't
seem like a big deal, it's huge. If you work
from home, how do I possibly unwine? Like it's the
works here all the time. And I've heard people say that.

(04:24):
So the solution from my perspective is have a home office.
Even if it's the kitchen table, that's your home office,
and when you're finished, go somewhere else. If it's the
kitchen table, then start eating in the living room, you know,
because otherwise. There's a psychological concept called anchoring, So you

(04:46):
can connect a place to an emotion, so that if
you've ever been in a car accident and you come
to that intersection or that place, you'll feel yourself getting
tense because it's an emotional anchor. So if you happen
to work work from home, make sure it's someplace different
than where you relax at home, because otherwise, let's say
you work from the kitchen table, because it's easy to

(05:09):
work there, you'll sit down at the table and you're
wondering why you're feeling tense. One last thing that I
observe almost everybody's people don't take their time off, and
they have a certain amount of paid time off, and
they don't take it. And I find it interesting in
my own company, where a couple of months ago, the
CEO and our chief learning officer took a month off

(05:33):
and went to Patagonia hiking. And this past month, our
chief medical officer has taken a month to travel to
the Middle East and Europe. So the employees who have
the same access to the same amount of time. I
don't think I've heard of one person doing something like that.

(05:54):
So if it's good enough for them, it's good enough
for us, if it's the same policy, because there's something
about them having learned by doing this. The chief medical
officer is a good friend and she'll say, I come
back feeling like I'm starting a new job. It's great,
it's a wonderful feeling. So take your time off. You
know it's people don't.

Speaker 4 (06:16):
I'm fascinated by that idea. Why do you think people
don't take that time off? Are they afraid that the
boss think that's lacking up.

Speaker 3 (06:22):
It comes back to what we discussed a little earlier.
I'm not good enough. I'm not going to get it
all done, so I've got to stay. The biggest fallacy
is we have this illusion that the company's going to
fall apart if I'm not there. These things won't get done.
I mean, I have a friend who is pregnant and
within a week of delivering, and she's like, do you

(06:45):
think it's okay if I don't take any time off
because the whole thing will fall apart if I do. No,
it won't fall apart. It's just people feel like, you know,
people frame it as a sense of responsibility, but it's
a step beyond that responsibility. To me, in that situation

(07:06):
is you find someone who can step in and cover
for the things that need to be covered. You plan ahead,
you hand it off. In the instance that I'm describing,
I am that other person who's stepping in and taking
care of it because I said, just go, I can
handle it, no problem. Go.

Speaker 4 (07:25):
We have another listening question I found fascinating about Impasta
syndrome account.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
So the question doctor is I constantly worry that I'm
not good enough at my job and that my colleagues
will figure out I don't belong here. I second guess
every decision I make and avoid speaking up in meetings
because I'm afraid of saying something stupid. How can I
build confidence and manage this anxiety that's making me miserable
atwork company?

Speaker 3 (07:49):
You know, it depends on who the individual is and
what the role is. When I've worked with people who
have that kind of feeling, sometimes it's in no way,
shape or form legit and it's just internal insecurity. And
what I've done with some of those senior level people also,
it's not necessarily just entry level. It's senior level too.

(08:10):
I've done three sixty evaluations, meaning getting feedback from people
at their level, below their level and above their level.
Let's do a little reality test, you know. And there's
different versions of that that anyone can do, you know,
and that may or may not address the issue. But
if you can ask for feedback and accept that the

(08:33):
feedback you're being given is real, extreme anxiety to say, yeah,
I know they said that, but they were just trying
to be nice. I've heard that a lot of times,
a place that I would start with, let's consider that
the person might have that higher level of anxiety. I
want to ask myself, is it really can I do

(08:54):
the job? Let's just be objective, you know, again, stick
to the objective piece of it, not the subject particulively.
I know you feel like you can't do the job,
but let's talk objectively and can you use spreadsheets? Can
you create presentations? Well, yeah, yeah, here's the ten things

(09:14):
you just told me, the ten things that are the
job is consisting of, and you can do all of them.
So can you do the job? I advise people a
lot of times some people are comfortable speaking up in
a meeting. Some people do feel like I have nothing
to contribute, or they're going to think I'm incompetent. You
might be surprised to know that in the beginning of

(09:37):
my career, I was very anxious about sharing anything because
I thought people wouldn't necessarily think it was valid or
good contribution. So one way of dealing with that again
is not to personalize stuff, you know, because you might
have a great idea and people might laugh at it.
They might not think it's a great idea. But if

(09:59):
you don't contribute, you are by default you assigning yourself
the label if somebody has nothing to contribute, which means
that in the future that you're less likely to get
those opportunities. So I ask people to try this as
an experiment. You know what the topic of the meeting is,
Come prepared with one thing you would like to share.

(10:21):
You can research it ahead of time, you can plan
ahead of time, and at some point during the meeting,
when that topic is appropriate, share that because you've already
researched it, you already know this is something that is
important to share. So it becomes it becomes again like
the momentum of when I try it out, just the

(10:42):
little thing. The next time, I'll say, all right, next meeting,
go in with two ideas, and next meeting, go in
with three ideas. And at some point it's a building
a habit, because it's a habit to feel like I
have nothing worth contributing. And sometimes now that's the kind
of situation where coach or a therapist and I tend
to look at things as transactional that most people have

(11:06):
it innately, they're innately capable. They just don't. It's the
internal piece and I don't view it as as psychopathology.
I view it as you need to learn the skill. Now,
let me flip it around to the other side as
a manager, as an HR person, what I ask if
I'm evaluating that person who seems very reluctant, seems always insecure.

(11:31):
I want to know three things. I want to know,
can they do the job? The second thing I want
to know is did I train them or we train
them well enough to give them the expertise to do it.
The third thing is do they want to do it?
If you know the answer to the first thing is
they're not capable, then we have a conversation about what's

(11:53):
a role where you would be capable. If the second
thing is they're capable, but they have not learned how
to do this task or speak to this, then that's
on me to help them, work with them, to create
a coaching training program to get them up to speed.
If the person doesn't want to do it well, that's

(12:14):
a performance management situation, very simple. And again, even in
performance management, you don't make it personal and just say
here's the expectation mind the companies, here's what I observe
what are your thoughts. You know, you can't argue about
the company's expectations that's set in stone, but you can
have a conversation about here's what I see myself doing,

(12:37):
because sometimes people see themselves doing something but it's not
in the format, or it's not in the style, it's
not at the timing that the company wants. That can
be modified. That's coachable.

Speaker 4 (12:51):
It's internal confidence to sort of build on that experience
and then see like yourself doing that thing, and then
you'll overtime and build up momentums really great tangible advice.
I mean, that's being really beneficial for a lot of people.
There's a final question here about someone in a toxic
work environment and the steps that they can take.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
My boss frequently yells at our team, makes unreasonable demands
and creates this atmosphere where everybody walks onig shows. I
need this job financially, but it's affecting my sleep and
my relationships at home. How do I protect my mental
health while staying in the situation, and when do I
know it's time to leave?

Speaker 3 (13:33):
I can share on a personal note, there was one
moment in my career where I had a boss who
would stand at the entrance from the parking deck or
hours for seven thirty to four, and if you arrived
at seven point thirty one, he would start screaming at
you about it's intolerable how late you were, and that

(13:56):
was that that would be toxic. In my mind, that
is toxic. My advice to your listener is that if
you're feeling like that, the first thing you can do,
you have to find some way to feel like you
have control. Because somebody who feels like it's toxic and
I can't do anything is going to be depressed. It

(14:17):
is going to affect every relationship in their life. If
you reframe the problem as, yeah, this environment is toxic,
so I know I don't want to be here, and
you start applying to other jobs, you start speak with
your spouse, your friends, your coach about what are the alternatives,

(14:38):
and you start taking some action. Then you're going to
feel better because then I know this is temporary, sooner
or later I'll have another opportunity. Financially, I think one
of the challenges there is that, I mean, it depends
how you know how high a level you are. If

(14:58):
you're talking about let's say a fifteen dollars an hour job.
You can pretty much be sure you can have another
fifteen dollars an hour job within a day, nursing homes
for CNAs fifteen an hour. But if you're a vice
president of so and so so I'm earning a quarter
million dollars, I would have the conversation with yourself. Or

(15:23):
maybe it's worth paying for an hour's coaching time or
an hour and two Say all right, there is some
prioritization here is it that I have to keep earning
that two hundred and fifty thousand dollars? Would I really
be okay? My family really be okay if I earned X.
Because the more you broaden what is acceptable for you,

(15:47):
the more possibilities you're going to have. What's critical is
you do something. When you stay stuck on one thing
and only one thing, then you're pretty much stuck. You
have a problem there. But there's always there are always options,
there's always possibilities. It's just a question of opening your

(16:07):
mind and being willing to take some chances. In one
point in my career, I had a choice of a
job with a salary in a very responsible role. It
was right at the beginning of when I helped start
the company that I'm currently in, or to take a
leap of faith and help start the same kind of company.

(16:33):
I chose the leap of faith. Now in that situation,
I left on the table, you know, a six figure
guaranteed job because I ask myself, what's you know, what's
important to me? And I bet your listener if you
ask them that question, they'd probably say, it's my family,

(16:56):
you know, it's my health. Well, burnout is going to
hurt your relationship with your family. It's going to hurt
your health. There is no mind, there's only body. There
is no body. There's only mind. We're one. You can't
affect one and think it won't affect the other. You
understand you have choices. That's the critical message here. You

(17:16):
have choices. It's just are you willing to acknowledge what
those choices might be. I'll give you an interesting example
of a friend of mine who he was vice president
of R and D for Craft Food, and one day
he woke up and he said, I'm kind of burning
out and I'm not happy, and I want to make
a difference in the world. And he helped found a

(17:37):
nonprofit that helps start businesses in Africa and it's and
he's created, and it's gotten big, and he's done well
and financially he said, you know what, I earned my money.
I had my chance. But at the end of the day,
I go to sleep at night exhilarate because I'm making
a difference in the world. So you understand your own

(18:00):
priorities what's important. The other message for your listener listeners
is too that if you don't ask, like a lot
of people will say, I don't know, my spouse is
never going to be happy. If you don't ask, you
don't know because I bet you ninety nine percent of
the time, while your spouse will say, of course I

(18:21):
want you happy. I miss you. You've become this other
person that I don't recognize. That's not who I'm married.
If you don't take that chance that you know, you're
not going to get the result you hope. For most
of the time it does work out well.

Speaker 4 (18:37):
That's a perfect note to end on. I think, thank
you again so much for your time, Docteethan Levin. It's
been such a fascinating learning experience, and I'm sure a
lot of our listeners will have even more questions than
a lot of the follow up from what we've been
discussing today, we really appreciate it.
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