April 14, 2025 • 52 mins
About that back to weekly promise. . .
Things don't always turn out how we plan. Christopher didn't plan to discover he was neurodivergent at 47 years old. But he did. He devotes this episode to looking at how that has changed his perspective on things, and how he plans to approach movie criticism and podcasting going forward.
Things don't always turn out how we plan. Christopher didn't plan to discover he was neurodivergent at 47 years old. But he did. He devotes this episode to looking at how that has changed his perspective on things, and how he plans to approach movie criticism and podcasting going forward.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:12):
They're coming to get you, Barbara. They're coming for you, Barbra.
That comes one of them. Now, welcome to the latest
episode of the Excuse Breakdown. No wait, that's not what
(00:37):
we call this podcast. No, it is. Welcome to the
latest episode of the Movie Breakdown. Even though I'm planned
on not really talking about any specific movies this week,
even though it's been a long time since you have
heard me, despite the last episode promising you hear me
(01:00):
the very next week, and so here I am once
again apologizing for not being the weekly episodes, the weekly
movie review show that we once were, as our long
long time listeners know, way back in twenty thirteen, Scott
(01:24):
and I started this show and we went a decade strong,
posting an episode almost every single week. There was a
few short hiatuses, but for the most part we stuck
to the weekly format, and we even kept that going
(01:45):
during the beginning of COVID, and I believe it was
twenty twenty three when things started derailing a bit for
the show. So if you're someone who has started listening
to us since twenty twenty three, you'll be like, they're
not a weekly episode. There are a few times a
year's show but the longtime listeners would say no, no, no,
(02:10):
they once were able to consistently put out a show.
I'll leave the quality show up to the listeners, but
I mean we've grown we' we grew this show to
the level that Spreaker Prime came to us and wanted
us to join their stable. So there has been successes.
(02:30):
We have many listeners that listen to the show who
don't have never met me in person. So it's not
just friends and family. This isn't the my mom listens
to me show because she loves me. We grew an
audience and so I mean, I do have to own that.
I do have to thank you guys for being with us.
I don't know how many have stuck around now since
it's been so consistent the last few years. You might
(02:50):
have deleted us from your app and for that I
understand it, but I apologize for through the massive delays.
The kind of shameful thing is in twenty twenty three,
we were still recording weekly episodes after we started off
the year with the best of twenty twenty two. I
(03:11):
believe it was and we but despite that, I was
not posting episodes. I was not posting episodes that we
literally were recording, and I will admit that that was
the start of sort of the spiral of my mental health.
(03:32):
Mental health that's always been a battle with me throughout
my life, but this was a really kind of dark
period and a lot of self doubt. And what was
happening was I started editing the shows, I believe in
twenty twenty and around that. So then when Toy Toy
three hit, what happens is I would have these episodes
(03:54):
and they would be these massive things that we recorded,
and I had my head that the episodes had to
be ninety minutes at the most, and so it's been
all this time kind of them down to that amount
and trying to make things sound a bit crisper. And
I was just so overwhelmed at that point that the
idea of editing was scaring. Instead of coming to Scott
(04:17):
and kind of being honest of where I was at,
or just saying, you know, let's just post the episodes
as is so we have something up there. They just
sat there recording each week and things were not getting posted,
and then there would be, you know, those moments where
I'd have some energy and I would edit an episode.
It was get posted. So twenty twenty three, twenty twenty four,
(04:38):
there was occasionally, you know, episodes that would tweak in
there and find their way. But then Scott, for several
reasons essential said he had to take a hiatus. And
so it was the summer of twenty twenty four that
(04:58):
I had to announce it. Scott was taking a hiatus
and indetermined amount of time. Wasn't sure when he would
come back because he didn't know what he'd be able
to come back. But I had promised on that show
when it was announced that I would keep up with
the movie breakdown and they get solo for a few
weeks and then kind of find a guest host. And
(05:21):
I even sent out some feelers for a guest hosts,
and quite a few people said they'd be interested in
doing some occasional episodes with me, and so I had
those things in place, and then I proceeded to not
really record a lot of episodes, and I did do
a few. There's been a few episodes since that summer,
maybe three four. I don't think we're all the way
(05:43):
up five. This might be the fifth one right here.
And some of that was definitely the fact that the
depression hit really hard, and I knew that I needed
to start making changes in my life, and so I
went to my doctor about it and started they started
(06:04):
putting me on medication, and I think I have revealed
on the show that then my doctors started thinking that
maybe some of my depression might be linked to have,
you know, going forty seven years of being undiagnosed neo divergent,
potentially with autism or ADHD, and so we went through
that process and it basically sort of came out, Yeah,
(06:30):
I probably have ADHD, autism and ADHD, and so started
doing medication for that and really started just to sort
of do soul searching, trying to figure myself out. And
I'm seeing a therapist right now CBT, and it is depression,
(06:50):
but also working through sort of the neo divergence and
looking for all these links through my life and so
that has been very draining and time consuming. On top
of that, I'm trying to build back out my freelance
career that's really suffered the last few years, and trying
to get my confidence back and just try to do
(07:10):
the best of being a father and a husband. And
so I mean, I've said it someveral times of the show,
and I apologize, but my sight beyond the Bellkiy and
the movie breakdown has most definitely suffered, and so for
that I apologize, but that is the reason. But there's
also sort of with the Neil divergence and sort of
(07:34):
going through that and figuring out sort of that history
and trying to find those links and realizing that sort
of looking at where where's the evidence that you know
I am nailed a virgin and I definitely think so
that I'm undignosed niled a virgin. I can now see
(07:54):
with that ADHD and the autism have not been aware
of that and not having strategies in place as being
an autistic and ADHD person and creator. Not being aware
of that that it has been some of what has
(08:14):
led to some of the challenges of being consistent on
the site and being consistent on the podcast. I now
know why sometimes I am super over ambitious with something
and want to take out all these different projects, but
then I get overwhelmed by it. Why sometimes I have
massive bursts of energy and then other times I have
(08:35):
absolutely nothing. Why Sometimes I want to do something creative
and new, but then I stop myself because I'm like, no,
it needs to be a routine. It makes me done
this way, like that internal battle. The autistic side of
me wants that routine and that structure, and the adh
D side of me wants to find those DOPU means
(08:56):
and find those exciting new things, and so at least
to kind of the eternal battle. It leads to sort
of that being overwhelmed. It leads to podcast sort of
not being posted. Both sides of that there is with
my Neil divergence and just the idea of so much
in my life kind of being called stupid or a
(09:19):
space kadet are careless or forgetful, those different things of
labels they put on someone who again there were reasons
because of my brain wiring, but I sort of played
into their narrative and just I think it is maybe
part of the brain wiry too. There's been that massive
sort of all all or nothing perfectious streak in me.
(09:43):
If I can't make it perfect, that I don't want
to present it, that idea that it has to be
done this certain way, I have to prove that I'm
worthwhile and talented, and so that stuff being unchecked has
also led to sort of the challenges of the podcast
(10:03):
not being posted or being consistent, especially now with Scott
are gone. It was just me. It was even much
easier and sort of just keep on sort of pushing
this off and getting overwhelmed. And so it has been
the big revelation for me is sort of recognizing sometimes
some of the things I've been ashamed of or the
(10:25):
things that have sort of stopped me or been roadblocks
for my creativity, knowing that it is things that are
ingrained into my brain wiring, and that at least now
gives me a chance of let's come up with some strategies. Now,
let's come up with some accountability, Let's get stuff in
place where And this is what my therapist says many
(10:48):
many times, working with my brain instead of against it,
working with the strengths of being able, divergent, and stop
trying to make myself neural typical. And so that is
sort of where I'm at and what I'm trying to
do with now, trying to get my career back on track,
(11:09):
trying to get the site back on track, trying to
get the podcast back on track, and recognizing who I am.
I mean, there is a lot of strikes I think
that Neil divergence brings to me, it has given me,
I think, a strong sense of empathy. I think it
is a lot of the reasons why I'm a strong
critic is that idea of finding patterns and emotional connections
(11:35):
and that hyper focus and like really deeping it, digging
in and analyzing things. I think that's what's made my
reviews sometimes unique and interesting and insightful, because that's sort
of the straits that I have there obviously my creativity,
my love of creation, my love of the arts, my
massive imagination, my love of storytelling. A lot of that
(12:00):
from having that narrow, divergent brain and having so many
different ideas to try. And so I want to lead
into a bit more. I want to kind of embrace
my creativity a bit more in that area because I
think those are a lot of my strengths. Stop trying
to be like, oh, well, this podcast or my film
(12:23):
criticism it should be like other film critics are trying
to sort of make myself that way, realizing, you know,
I need to embrace what makes me unique, recognize my
strengths and my weaknesses. And again, like I've mentioned a
few times on the show, just even with going into
theater a year ago. I think the strengths that I
(12:44):
have in my performing a lot of that kind of
thing comes from neurodivergence as well. The ways I've decided
to express myself and the ways of kind of being
able to really empathize and immerse myself into a character.
I think it's some of that two. And another strategy
(13:05):
that I need to use when it comes to the
site and life in this podcast is a bit more
self compassion, because what happens is sort of behind the doors,
is I beat myself pretty hard. Not physically though that
has been something I've done before when I was younger,
(13:27):
but emotionally, I really get on myself, and I'm ashamed
and embarrassed that i haven't been able to do, you know,
the weekly episodes and when I promise Monday morning every
single week, and and so I get inside my head
and then I'm I don't start creating amore because I
have just drained myself of energy and I'm doubting myself.
(13:48):
And so self compassion is something I need to give
myself a bit more. Is maybe sometimes I'm not gonna
get the episode right on the deadline. Sometimes I'm gonna
be really low energy this week, and maybe I won't
review the movie right after opening night, and maybe it
won't or maybe I won't get to that movie, or
(14:11):
I won't get to it super soon, and I need
to be okay with that. Maybe an episode one week
is gonna be five minutes, or maybe an episode's gonna
be forty minutes, but it arrives a little late, and
I need to sort of recognize that and be more
aware again of my brainwiring if I'm still kidding episodes
(14:36):
that I post now when I'm not even close to
sort of being weekly and I'm still having people listening
to it, making those small little times where a little
late or a little short that's not gonna make me
lose listeners, because I mean, things have been a lot
worse these last few years, and we still have a
(14:57):
decent listener base, which I am absolutely thankful for. And
this then leads to another thing that I want to
do a lot more with my writing in this podcast
is really incorporate neuro divergence and mental health into the
shows and the reviews, looking at sort of those parallels
(15:22):
and using reviews as ways to kind of explore be
it mental health or divergence or or other things going on,
be more raw, be more honest. I would also really
like to just experiment a bit more. Of the plan
is still to have the movie breakdown. I mean, I'm
(15:44):
hoping going forward we can sort of in some form
try to keep this weekly. And if that's the case,
the plan is still to keep this as a movie
review show, and as I've said before, it will likely
be a solo show for a while, and then I
feel like I'm getting back into that rhythm and on
a weekly basis, I'll start really try to push hard
(16:07):
of finding guest hosts that are interesting in being the
show and would fit with the style and the vision
that I have for the podcast. But I would also
like to try some offshoot shows, try some different other
types of podcasts, or try some different types of creation,
lean a bit more into sort of storytelling, and look
(16:29):
at some of my other hyper focus and things that
I'm interested in, and really again just being open about
my narrow divergence journey, my mental health journey, because for me,
I just am so big on I wanted to be
a reason why I went through all these things and
(16:50):
why I had these challenges, and that is to help
other people and to make them know that they're not alone,
and to share my experience so that I can bring
some value to other people. So there's going to be
I think elements and echoes of that coming into the
main podcast, but it also will be sprinkled out with
(17:10):
me trying some other different types of shows. I might
try storytelling podcast, and I might try to do something
where I'm interviewing other creators and spotlighting them and maybe
even sort of neo divergent creators because I know a
few and so those are ideas and again over ambition,
and there's so many things I want to try, so
(17:30):
a lot of that is going to be pushed aside,
but for or something that I will sort of schedule
for the future and work towards that. For now, let's
just focus on getting weekly episodes going. But again, I
think there is going to be a little bit more
of me being open and honestly, even more so than
from the past, and like I said, focusing on the
(17:52):
Neil divergence and stuff, and if that is really uninteresting
to you and you're like, oh man, this show's going
to be a rag. I just want to find outf
a movie's good or not. It's really interesting because I
was going through some of my old writings and it
(18:12):
is very clear. I started to some other people and
to to sort of my therapists and other readers and
just kind of looking through my past works. And I'm
sure it's also very clear in the podcast is I
only discovered I was nail divergent in November December of
(18:39):
last year, at twenty twenty four, but my writing clearly
shows that this has been created by someone who's nail divergent.
A lot of the Nariro divergent thinking, the idea of
looking into patterns and really digging into themes and focusing
more on sort of the emotion and the connection and
(19:00):
digging into things, and the attachment to sort of the outsider,
the attachment to sort of trying to make sense of
the world and steer it away from the black and
white and looking at sort of what is considered normal,
is that really how things are done, and trying to
(19:22):
figure out what happens when you feel like you're not
fitting into a normal world. That is, those type of
questions and that type of explo exploration is heavily evident
in my writing and the way I approach movies and
how I reviewed it. So the reality is my nearal
divergence has always been there. I just didn't know I
(19:45):
was neuro divergent. And so the reality is we declaring
that that's going to be something that will be spotlighted
on this show. It's always been in this show. I
just wasn't aware of, and maybe some of you were,
and some of you because I've had a few people
being like, oh, I just always assume you were a
(20:05):
neuro divergin And so it's more I'm just putting a
label on it, so don't worry too much, and it's
probably not really gonna change that much. It's just more
me maybe trying to use that now to sort of
provide one to make this show distinct, but two to
really kind of have that connection and empathy and be
(20:29):
there for people. And like I'm hoping I could create
a show that is entertaining, engaging, but also maybe can
enlighten some people, but also feels like a safe place
for those who sometimes feel like the other even if
it is not necessarily neuro divergent, but you feel like
(20:51):
you don't fit in this world because of other reasons,
be it your how you identify gender or race, sexuality,
those type of things. That's really important to me. It's
always been important to me, And I mean, I don't
(21:12):
necessarily think I am the great voice for that. It's
just a voice something you can listen to. I mean,
I'm still a white male. I still have a lot
of privileges, and I'm still dorky and weird and quirky,
and I definitely don't have all the answers, and I'm
gonna get things wrong and I am going to accidentally
(21:33):
offend people. Things like that are going to happen. But
I think I hope I can present something that is
unique and interesting. And I mentioned this before and I've
written about it before, but I've never believed that a
movie review is just about is this movie good or not?
(21:55):
Aus Why would you do a podcast? Why would you
write a movie? I was just saying this is good,
and why like or this is bad? And why that's
not interesting? And I don't really know what the value
of that is, because, as I've said many times, artists
subjective and just because I think a movie is a masterpiece,
(22:18):
there's gonna be someone who doesn't think it's good, and
so that review is useless if its entire point is
just why it is good and or just be an
echo chamber. I don't want this podcast just be a
place where people jump on to listen to it, be
like I want my views reaffirmed. That's useless and pointless,
and there is definitely communities that are like that, and
(22:38):
that's not what I want. I want to create. I
want to explore creativity. I want to explore storytelling and imagination.
I want this to be a community that celebrates and
loves movies. And I want my reviews to really be
ways of of revealing bits of myself, showing why I
(23:04):
connect with the work, so obviously personal in that way,
but also really exploring themes and looking at how art
makes us understand the world more. It helps us to
connect with this world and what is the creator tried
to say? And what have we learned from this movie?
What does it say about characters, what does it say
about the world and social issues? And all that to
(23:28):
me that I love Roger Eeber because that's how he
wrote reviews, That's how he explored movies. He talked movies
about empathy machines. He loved movies because it allowed him
to understand lives and people that he would never be
and maybe even he would never see, and talk about
experiences that he would never be in. And that's I think,
(23:51):
what is the value of reviews. I want people to
walk away and say, that's an interesting perspective. I don't
necessarily even agree with him, but that's an interesting perspective
and it makes you think about things a little bit differently.
That's the value of movie reviews. It's not if it's
good or it's bad. That has been my goal since
(24:11):
twenty thirteen for this show. So if this what I'm
saying is absolutely shocking to you, then it means I
failed at my own goal. If you just like finding
out if something's good or bad, I think by now
you would have bailed out on this podcast because it
doesn't it would not be giving you what you wanted.
Or I just have not reached my goal at all.
(24:32):
I have not been successful. Another thing that I sort
of just want to bring out a little bit, and
I have talked about it on the podcast, is how
much I've really been annoyed and frustrated by a certain
(24:56):
circle of the film community is kind of pedaling this
anti woke movement or if it was the nineties and
you know, be anti PC this pushback saying that Hollywood
is all about going WoT go WoT go broke, which
(25:18):
obviously like things like Black Panther and Barbie and some
other recent movies. So that that's absolutely ridiculous. Is that
diversity has often led to massive box office success and
has drawn people and has made people who normally are
(25:40):
not seeing themselves on the screen they will finally go
because they are being represented and they connect to it.
I mean, my daughter, her favorite movies, her favorite Disney
movies are like Riot, Las Dragon and Mwana, And I mean,
my daughter's not Polynesian, but Malana is something that she
(26:01):
connects with because it's not a purely white princess. She
is darker skinned, and she has a personality is closer
to my daughter, who likes to go on adventure rya.
I mean, my daughter is half Chinese and so there
is a connection of her kind of seeing someone that
looks similar to her. And I think that's important. I
(26:21):
think that has a lot of value. I was pro
The Little Mermaid and who they decided to do with
that casting. And I love the fact that Black Panther,
it'd be one of the highest grossing movies. And so
the simple fact is, if you use the word woke,
this is probably not the show for you. And I
(26:44):
say that because anyone who uses the word woke is
probably anti diversity and is anti progress and is wanting
there to be more white nails in their movies. And
I might be wrong on a but the simple fact
is there is several YouTube channels that I blocked because
(27:09):
I just I'm not interested in that community, and it
frustrates me. There is one person where I'm not gonna
mention their name because I just I'd rather people not
know about him. And I mean, he's super popular and
he's got tons of subscribers, so he doesn't need mind
dorsmhen he he. Reality is he's got way more viewers
than I have listeners, that's for sure. But one thing
(27:31):
when I really realized how frustrated I am about that
movement is he went on a rant about I can't
remember what the movie was about, how he was objectively bad,
and that showed me how much a lot of people
in that group just don't understand film criticism at all,
because no movie is objectively bad. Art is not one
(27:54):
where it's objectively good or objectively bad. It's subjective. It
connects with you people in different ways. One person's worst
movie is another person's greatest movie ever made. That is
how art works. It's a rule that I've lived by.
In any critic I respect will agree and subscribe to
(28:17):
that motto. I know a movie that I love is
not going to resonate with every viewer, but at least
I hope my review lets them understand why I like
it and gives them a perspective on that picture. One
of our first ever breakdown shows I like The Lone Ranger.
(28:40):
I hated it. It made his worst of the Year list.
I have not revisited The Long Ranger since twenty thirteen,
but and partly it's because I like the fact that
I enjoyed it while everyone else tells me you like
something that's horrible. I saw something in it. Maybe I'll
visit one day and see if I still stand by it.
There's a one, aful person who's a newer listener that
(29:03):
did say have you ever visited that movie? You should,
which made me think that she was probably more on
Scott's side than mine. But there you go. But the
reality is this show is never going to believe that
something that is objectively bad or good, and I think
that diversity is an amazing thing. It continued to need
(29:28):
to be in cinema. We need different stories, we need
different perspectives, We need people of all races and backgrounds
and identifications, and it makes for more stories. It makes
movies what they really should be. What Roger Ebert said,
(29:48):
empathy machines lets us see those different perspectives. I think
it makes a richer and more robust cinematic landscape, and
that I stand by that. That's not to say that
all movies with diversity are good. Being diverse doesn't necessarily
make you good. You still need to be a strong storyteller,
(30:10):
a competent filmmaker, and no, not all those movies are good,
but that's never a reason for why they're bad. And
so that's my rant. Another thing that for years and
(30:30):
years and years, me and Scott debated back and forth,
do we do a worst of the year show? Except
for the last two years, obviously we haven't had our
year end shows, But for over ten years we had
the best of the year, the worst of the year,
(30:52):
and then recently in the last few years, We've brought
in the most underrated, and I've always struggled, not always actually,
but probably by twenty seventeen, twenty eighteen, I started wondering,
do we do a worst of a show? Do we
have a whole show where we're committed to looking at
things that are bad and wallowing in negativity. And part
(31:16):
of the reason why we brought in the underrated show
was because I was like, we're focusing on the best,
We're focusing on the worst, and then there's all these
wonderful movies that never get talked about again. And so
that's why I put it in. The underrated movies that
either critics and audiences hated that I enjoyed, And so
we put on a list to sort of champion that
(31:39):
or movies that sort of people just fell under the
radar and give us it a chance to spotlight them.
And that sort of ease my conscience a little bit
of having a worst of show, And there is a
lot of listeners that still like it, and so hopefully
I have a year end show, because hopefully I'm going
(31:59):
to start having it. Was again, I'm actually gonna watch
my first twenty twenty five movie in a theater very soon, hopefully,
but if I have a year and show, I probably
will do an underrated, a best of and a worst of.
But one of the things that has really bothered me
was sort of the state of film discourse recently has
(32:21):
been the focus on negativity and how some people seem
to just devote several episodes of just tearing a movie
down and it being such a big part of sort
of their their brand and how they established themselves. And
there's just so much negativity and social media in the
(32:46):
online space, and I think it is a hot you
gotta have, Like, if you're going to review a movie
no matter what, and if it ended up being something
that you just despised, you need to say that and
you need to be honest about it. But I don't
think you need to just jump on things and be
(33:08):
negative for the sake of negativity. And that seems to
be such a big thing right now, is there's people
that grab followings because you know they're gonna go on
their latest rant and hate something. I'd rather be known
as someone who's about celebrating and loving cinema and loving
life and bringing positivity, and there will be negative reviews,
(33:30):
but even then I want to recognize just how hard
it is to make a movie and recognize the beauty
of cinema. So even in that negative review, trying to
find something positive from it, even if for the most
part I'm bashing. And it's a bit harder when you're
(33:52):
doing something like you know, that awful Marmaduke movie or
the Fanatic and stuff like that, where there really is
nothing posit to those pictures. But and that's fine. If
you can't find anything that, that's fine. Still you still
do the review. But I definitely have got frustrated with
(34:12):
sort of that wallowey mentality that seems to be happening
in the toxicity that sees me over there all over
the place. And my goal is for the movie Breakdown
and Beyond the Balcony to be something that comes a
bit more of a celebration and positivity and loving cinema
with the total recognition that the stale of movies right
(34:33):
now aren't awesome, at least at the mainstream level. I'm
worring out on all these comic book movies, and there
isn't a lot of big blockbusters that I've been excited about.
I'm tired of sequels and the stuff that Warner Brothers
is doing. I want there to be more original ideas,
and there hasn't been maybe a lot of movies in
(34:55):
the last few years I walk away and saying, oh,
that's a classic, and so I'm aware of that. But
there has still been great movies. There still has been
a Top Gun, Maverick, or Everything Everywhere All at Once,
or The Fableman's and West Side Story, those last two
being Steven Spielberg movies. I mean, there's still great stuff
(35:19):
out there. But I mean that doesn't mean that I'm
not gonna be open of saying, oh, there's a lot
about the movie industry right now that's kind of annoying
and frustrating. But there is some great independent movies, and
my goal is to try to seek out find those
hidden gems and celebrate them. I'm more excited about digging
(35:40):
and finding those kind of surprise great movies than wallowing
sort of in the trash. And that leads me to
another thing is I think I've mentioned Chris Stuck been
on here before, and there's been a recent backlash of
(36:01):
people who used to listen to him that have been
really opposed to his recent stance where basically Chris Duckman,
because he has now become a filmmaker and he's gonna
have a movie released this year. He has been he
basically we first he declared that he wasn't gonna do
(36:22):
worst of lists anymore, and then the last I think
two years, he's essentially said that he's not going to
review movies he doesn't like anymore. The only videos that
we get posted on YouTube channel is movies that he
that he likes, that he loved, that he enjoys, and
he's sticking to that. He's staying away from agave reviews,
and people said, well, then you're not a film critic,
(36:45):
and they have really pushed against that, and hey, the
fact that all he's done is put positive reviews. Some
people have even questioned if they're all honest, Like when
he put in Our Guy and he they said, the
only reason he gave that a positive reviews that he
had recently interviewed the director. And so there's a feeling
of a bit of pandering. Well, I didn't get a
(37:07):
review Matthew. I interview Matthew Vaughan, and I liked our guyle.
And I know I'm in the minority. I know a
lot of people didn't like it, but I watched it
once I saw on the theme of my wife and
we had a good time. Yes, it's over long, but
I think there was a lot a better that was
kind of fun and so I largely agreed a lot
with Chris Stuckman. So I don't think he gave it
a positive review just because he had recently interviewed the director.
(37:30):
And I also think that if Stuckman has decided that
he largely just wants to put in positive reviews, I
mean I've watched a lot of his reviews, and he
will still put in criticisms, he will still be honest
when there is some flaws of that movie. It's just
he's largely putting in movies that he's going to recommend.
(37:51):
And I think there's a place for that, because here's
the reality of these people who were calling him out,
some of these other critics and fans. Because we all
pick the movies we review. Nobody camera review and watch
every single movie that comes in a given year. Noah
could even probably review every single wide release, and they don't.
(38:15):
I think of like Jeremy Johns and retro Roper, they
often don't review a lot of the animated movies, and
I think it's Uni Jerames Bear Danelli. There's movies that
he skips on. And the fact is there's everyone who
is going to be like, oh, that movie doesn't look good.
(38:36):
I'm going to stay home, especially if you're an independent reviewer,
if you're not with a magazine or a site where
they assign which movies you have to review. If you
are sort of a YouTube critic and you can decide
what we review, the reality is there's movies you decide
to skip. Be it you don't review Netflix movies, or
(38:56):
there's four movies that have been reviewed this weekend or
that come out this weekend. I can't to all four.
I will pick this three. And the simple fact is
that just happens with everyone. So Stuckman's just deciding that
those are the movies that he wants to review. And
I think the reality is sometimes some of these movies
that critics have picked a review, like I think of
(39:19):
like some like Fifty Shades of Gray or some of
these other movies, I think they literally decided to watch
it so that they could trash on it and destroy
That is why they watched it. That was your decision.
You never thought you were going to like it. That
movie's not even really for your target demographic that watches you,
and you just did it so that you could entertain
(39:40):
them by ripping on a movie that really wasn't made
for you anyways. So for me, I have not watched
any of the fifty Shades of Gray. I knew they
wouldn't like them. I don't think my listeners really care
about those movies. If there were listeners that came to
me instead, I really want to hear your opinion on
that movie. I mean, maybe then I would go see it,
(40:01):
but that never happened, and so then I never watched them.
And so I think the Stuckman backlash is silly because
every critic decides what they're going to see. This is
what how the movie he's decided. I choose what I'm
going to see. Every critic chooses what they're going to see,
unless again, you work for a newspaper a bigger publication
and they assign what you have to see. But yeah,
(40:23):
I think I think that stuff is silly. And like
I said, sometimes I will see something because a listener
or a reader requested it. That's why I why me
and Scott reviewed the two Rebel Moon movies. They're horrible,
but we we did it because that is we do
(40:44):
it for our fans. That's why we do it. Another
thing that I'm not interested in ever doing as a
writer of film or writer of pop culture or this
podcast is ever turning this into sort of a marketing
(41:10):
vehicle disguised as a news outlet. There's been several sites
that I used to read on a regular basis that
really feel like they've become more and more sort of
marketing tools for the studios, where they hype up all
(41:34):
look at the latest, like cast photos, behind the scene footage,
Oh look at this, And I'm just I'm not interested
at all in journalism that really is just a marketing tool.
And I've always sort of had a soft spot for trailers,
and so I mean, i might still review trailers someday
(41:55):
more just because I'm interested in the former trailers and
what trailers do, and i think a good trailer itself
is a form of art. But I'm not interested in
ever sort of being something that is just playing into
the hype. I think one of the things that really
frustrates me about current kind of film journalism is it's
weeks and weeks and weeks of analyzing sort of on
(42:22):
set photos and analyzing what will be in this movie
and really just being a machine of hype, and then
once the movie comes out, they barely talked about the
movie because they've now moved on to the latest hype machine.
There's a lot more pieces written about probably Thunderbolts before
it's released then there will be after it's released, and
(42:45):
that frustrates me. I'm more interested in analyzing the art
and writing about the art and talking about it after
I've actually seen it and it come out with themes
and having episodes that are more devoted about actual art
that has been seen and rather than being part of
the hype. Another thing that has become really bad is clickbait.
(43:12):
I'm getting really tired of sort of those titles of like,
you know, the one horror movie that Harrison Ford ever
was in, and that's the title because I want you
to click to find out what it is, rather than saying,
you know, the sort of I can't remember that movies
(43:35):
is with Michelle Pfeiffer and Harrison Ford's in it, and
the trailer spoiled that he was bad guy. What lies beneath?
I think rather than saying you know why Harrison Harrison
Fords What Lies Beneath was Harrison Ford's first foray into
(43:57):
being a horror villain. You reveal it, you know what
you're going to talk about, and the person can dig in,
rather than this sort of mysterious nonsense that comes from
clickbait articles. And I just I'm not a fan of it,
and I hope I can avoid being clickbaity for most
of my career. I remember back in twenty thirteen, I
(44:19):
wrote an article for a certain sight and they came
back to me saying, can you can you change this
title to make it They didn't say clickbaity, but appeal
more and catch the eyes of the reader. And the
title they pitched. I went back and said, that's not honest.
That's not even what I'm writing about. What you put
in this title is not connected to the piece. And
so they came back and said, well, can you massage
(44:42):
the piece a little so it connects a bit more
with that title, And I said no, because it's not factual,
it's not the truth. And that was one of the
cases where I actually won out and I was able
to keep the piece authentic and honest. But it's very
clear to me now thirteen, it's got even worse over
ten years later about this idea of creating stuff that
(45:07):
really is for the clicks and for getting reactions from people,
and that has always kind of driven me crazy. I
will also confess that I'm just really bad at headlines.
I think I might be a great storyteller. I might
be a great writer. I can craft an article that's engaging,
(45:27):
but I do have a hard time sort of that
sort of catch your eye headlines. But hey, that's what
AI is for, right They can help me make my
lines better, or that's what an editor is for, and
maybe I'll get better over time. So yeah, this has
not been your typical episode. But thank you for sticking
(45:51):
with me, thank you for listening to this episode. Thank
you for despite the fact that I've been so inconsistent
that you decide to download this once again and see
what I had to say, And thank you for your patience.
And I'm really going to try to get those strategies
in place, and really hopefully with the therapy and figuring
(46:14):
stuff out about myself, we are going to get this
podcast back to be weekly. I really want to review
Walls Engramment Vengeance Most Foul, and I want to watch
it and review it with my kids, and so hopefully
next week that is what will happen on the Monday
(46:35):
episode when it gets posted on Monday, fingers crossed, and
I will start catching up on twenty twenty five movies
several months behind. We're in April now, but I'm hoping
to get back on track with that, and I just
hope this is a show that I can make entertaining,
provide insight, shed a bit of my soul, and give
(46:58):
something of value to all of you amazing listeners. I
forgot to do what we usually start out the show.
So I want to thank speaker Prime for being the
hosting site for the movie Breakdown, and beyond the balcony
my own site, my own wonderful site where you can
(47:21):
see my writings, which I have had something on the
site every single day this year, but it's not had
the movie reviews or the pop culture insight and that
type of stuff that I want. It's largely me sort
of repurposing posts from Facebook or other social media and
turning it a bit into an article and be more
(47:43):
about nero divergence. But there is stuff on there, so
if you don't have social media and you're interested in
a little bit of learning about what I'm learning about
what I'm learning, that is definitely not how I want
that sentence to go. But if you want to see
a bit about mike experience of my journey with mental
health and ill divergence, that's what's really been on Beyond
(48:05):
the Balcony this year, along with a little bit of
hype about our theater shows. I did Murder on the
o Own Express and music Man's on the Way. I'll
be mayor Shin and Danica is going to be in
the kid Ensemble, Emily will be a pick a Little Lady,
and ever it's going to be windthroped, so we never
have two big parts. And so that'll be the first
(48:25):
two weeks of May with Community on stage in Cambridge,
and so if you're in that area, we'd love for
you to check it out. And so, yeah, you can
see all that kind of stuff on the site. Beyond
the Balcony. The goals to get beyond the balky back
to what I envisioned it to be, which is sort
of those personal touches and the mental health and the
creative process, but also actually reviewing movies and beat about
(48:48):
pop culture mostly sort of the movie realm and sort
of letting it and Beyond the Balcony sort of Beyond
the Balcony in the Movie Breakdown kind of supplement each
each other. And so that's the goal, hopefully something that
maybe you can start up this week and then down
the line. I am I newsletters and expanding, but I
(49:10):
gotta take it slow. I don't want my ambition to
overwhelm me, and I want to be able to provide
great stuff for you. So yeah, so you can check
out Beyond the Balcony, which I've already mentioned at Beyond
Balcony dot com, and if you want to contact me,
(49:31):
actually I have a question of the week for you
if you do want to answer a question and then
send out that answer to me. What movie genre do
you consider your comfort zone? What's your comfort food movie genre?
Let me know what that is. That's the question for
this week, and you can tell me that at the
Movie Breakdown at gmail dot com, as well on Twitter
(49:54):
at Movie Breakdown one, Facebook at the Movie Breakdown. And
of course you can subscribe and rate us on Speaker, Spotify,
cast Box, Apple Potcasts, Speaker Prime, Amazon Music, or wherever
you listen to your podcasts, if you listen to us
(50:15):
on the Speaker app, that helps us any small little
bits of kind of sponsorship money we get, which is
not very much at this point, A little bit more
goes our way if you listen on the Speaker app.
So that's a way you can help us. And yeah,
if you enjoyed this show, any show in the past
(50:35):
or any show the future, please share us on social media,
get the word out there. If we grow, then I
can do more shows, I can do more stuff. I
can focus more on this rather than scrambling for getting
my career on track. And if you are in need
of someone who has experienced as a pop culture commonness,
(50:57):
parenting blogger, news reporter, someone who can do storytelling for
a brand, someone who has add copy experience, someone who
is creative and can maybe add a voice to your
company and has experienced with sort of social media management,
that's another thing. You can reach out to me and
see if I can do some work for you, or
(51:20):
if you know someone that's looking for it. I would
really appreciate it because that would mean quite a bit
of being able to get my career back on track.
So I appreciate that as well. But that's all I've
got this week. Hopefully next week i'll be back and
you'll hear our review of wals grammant Veget's Most Foul
and potentially reviews for maybe some other movies. If that
(51:43):
ends up being the only movie, that's okay. There's a
few times where I stop watching because I was like,
I want to have several reviews. I want the shows
to be massive and have a lot of reviews. So
if I can't do that, then I'm not gonna do
it this week. And I'm not going to do that anymore.
If it ends up being a short episode, that's fine.
(52:04):
I would rather something than nothing. Done, is better than perfection,
all of the things my therapist is trying to teach me,
and here I am rambling. Well, you're done now, so
thank you for listening to this episode of the movie Breakdown.
Of course, I'm still Christopher Spicer, and have a great week.
They're coming to get you, Barbara. They're coming for you, Barbra.
That comes one of them. Now, welcome to the latest
episode of the Excuse Breakdown. No wait, that's not what
(00:37):
we call this podcast. No, it is. Welcome to the
latest episode of the Movie Breakdown. Even though I'm planned
on not really talking about any specific movies this week,
even though it's been a long time since you have
heard me, despite the last episode promising you hear me
(01:00):
the very next week, and so here I am once
again apologizing for not being the weekly episodes, the weekly
movie review show that we once were, as our long
long time listeners know, way back in twenty thirteen, Scott
(01:24):
and I started this show and we went a decade strong,
posting an episode almost every single week. There was a
few short hiatuses, but for the most part we stuck
to the weekly format, and we even kept that going
(01:45):
during the beginning of COVID, and I believe it was
twenty twenty three when things started derailing a bit for
the show. So if you're someone who has started listening
to us since twenty twenty three, you'll be like, they're
not a weekly episode. There are a few times a
year's show but the longtime listeners would say no, no, no,
(02:10):
they once were able to consistently put out a show.
I'll leave the quality show up to the listeners, but
I mean we've grown we' we grew this show to
the level that Spreaker Prime came to us and wanted
us to join their stable. So there has been successes.
(02:30):
We have many listeners that listen to the show who
don't have never met me in person. So it's not
just friends and family. This isn't the my mom listens
to me show because she loves me. We grew an
audience and so I mean, I do have to own that.
I do have to thank you guys for being with us.
I don't know how many have stuck around now since
it's been so consistent the last few years. You might
(02:50):
have deleted us from your app and for that I
understand it, but I apologize for through the massive delays.
The kind of shameful thing is in twenty twenty three,
we were still recording weekly episodes after we started off
the year with the best of twenty twenty two. I
(03:11):
believe it was and we but despite that, I was
not posting episodes. I was not posting episodes that we
literally were recording, and I will admit that that was
the start of sort of the spiral of my mental health.
(03:32):
Mental health that's always been a battle with me throughout
my life, but this was a really kind of dark
period and a lot of self doubt. And what was
happening was I started editing the shows, I believe in
twenty twenty and around that. So then when Toy Toy
three hit, what happens is I would have these episodes
(03:54):
and they would be these massive things that we recorded,
and I had my head that the episodes had to
be ninety minutes at the most, and so it's been
all this time kind of them down to that amount
and trying to make things sound a bit crisper. And
I was just so overwhelmed at that point that the
idea of editing was scaring. Instead of coming to Scott
(04:17):
and kind of being honest of where I was at,
or just saying, you know, let's just post the episodes
as is so we have something up there. They just
sat there recording each week and things were not getting posted,
and then there would be, you know, those moments where
I'd have some energy and I would edit an episode.
It was get posted. So twenty twenty three, twenty twenty four,
(04:38):
there was occasionally, you know, episodes that would tweak in
there and find their way. But then Scott, for several
reasons essential said he had to take a hiatus. And
so it was the summer of twenty twenty four that
(04:58):
I had to announce it. Scott was taking a hiatus
and indetermined amount of time. Wasn't sure when he would
come back because he didn't know what he'd be able
to come back. But I had promised on that show
when it was announced that I would keep up with
the movie breakdown and they get solo for a few
weeks and then kind of find a guest host. And
(05:21):
I even sent out some feelers for a guest hosts,
and quite a few people said they'd be interested in
doing some occasional episodes with me, and so I had
those things in place, and then I proceeded to not
really record a lot of episodes, and I did do
a few. There's been a few episodes since that summer,
maybe three four. I don't think we're all the way
(05:43):
up five. This might be the fifth one right here.
And some of that was definitely the fact that the
depression hit really hard, and I knew that I needed
to start making changes in my life, and so I
went to my doctor about it and started they started
(06:04):
putting me on medication, and I think I have revealed
on the show that then my doctors started thinking that
maybe some of my depression might be linked to have,
you know, going forty seven years of being undiagnosed neo divergent,
potentially with autism or ADHD, and so we went through
that process and it basically sort of came out, Yeah,
(06:30):
I probably have ADHD, autism and ADHD, and so started
doing medication for that and really started just to sort
of do soul searching, trying to figure myself out. And
I'm seeing a therapist right now CBT, and it is depression,
(06:50):
but also working through sort of the neo divergence and
looking for all these links through my life and so
that has been very draining and time consuming. On top
of that, I'm trying to build back out my freelance
career that's really suffered the last few years, and trying
to get my confidence back and just try to do
(07:10):
the best of being a father and a husband. And
so I mean, I've said it someveral times of the show,
and I apologize, but my sight beyond the Bellkiy and
the movie breakdown has most definitely suffered, and so for
that I apologize, but that is the reason. But there's
also sort of with the Neil divergence and sort of
(07:34):
going through that and figuring out sort of that history
and trying to find those links and realizing that sort
of looking at where where's the evidence that you know
I am nailed a virgin and I definitely think so
that I'm undignosed niled a virgin. I can now see
(07:54):
with that ADHD and the autism have not been aware
of that and not having strategies in place as being
an autistic and ADHD person and creator. Not being aware
of that that it has been some of what has
(08:14):
led to some of the challenges of being consistent on
the site and being consistent on the podcast. I now
know why sometimes I am super over ambitious with something
and want to take out all these different projects, but
then I get overwhelmed by it. Why sometimes I have
massive bursts of energy and then other times I have
(08:35):
absolutely nothing. Why Sometimes I want to do something creative
and new, but then I stop myself because I'm like, no,
it needs to be a routine. It makes me done
this way, like that internal battle. The autistic side of
me wants that routine and that structure, and the adh
D side of me wants to find those DOPU means
(08:56):
and find those exciting new things, and so at least
to kind of the eternal battle. It leads to sort
of that being overwhelmed. It leads to podcast sort of
not being posted. Both sides of that there is with
my Neil divergence and just the idea of so much
in my life kind of being called stupid or a
(09:19):
space kadet are careless or forgetful, those different things of
labels they put on someone who again there were reasons
because of my brain wiring, but I sort of played
into their narrative and just I think it is maybe
part of the brain wiry too. There's been that massive
sort of all all or nothing perfectious streak in me.
(09:43):
If I can't make it perfect, that I don't want
to present it, that idea that it has to be
done this certain way, I have to prove that I'm
worthwhile and talented, and so that stuff being unchecked has
also led to sort of the challenges of the podcast
(10:03):
not being posted or being consistent, especially now with Scott
are gone. It was just me. It was even much
easier and sort of just keep on sort of pushing
this off and getting overwhelmed. And so it has been
the big revelation for me is sort of recognizing sometimes
some of the things I've been ashamed of or the
(10:25):
things that have sort of stopped me or been roadblocks
for my creativity, knowing that it is things that are
ingrained into my brain wiring, and that at least now
gives me a chance of let's come up with some strategies. Now,
let's come up with some accountability, Let's get stuff in
place where And this is what my therapist says many
(10:48):
many times, working with my brain instead of against it,
working with the strengths of being able, divergent, and stop
trying to make myself neural typical. And so that is
sort of where I'm at and what I'm trying to
do with now, trying to get my career back on track,
(11:09):
trying to get the site back on track, trying to
get the podcast back on track, and recognizing who I am.
I mean, there is a lot of strikes I think
that Neil divergence brings to me, it has given me,
I think, a strong sense of empathy. I think it
is a lot of the reasons why I'm a strong
critic is that idea of finding patterns and emotional connections
(11:35):
and that hyper focus and like really deeping it, digging
in and analyzing things. I think that's what's made my
reviews sometimes unique and interesting and insightful, because that's sort
of the straits that I have there obviously my creativity,
my love of creation, my love of the arts, my
massive imagination, my love of storytelling. A lot of that
(12:00):
from having that narrow, divergent brain and having so many
different ideas to try. And so I want to lead
into a bit more. I want to kind of embrace
my creativity a bit more in that area because I
think those are a lot of my strengths. Stop trying
to be like, oh, well, this podcast or my film
(12:23):
criticism it should be like other film critics are trying
to sort of make myself that way, realizing, you know,
I need to embrace what makes me unique, recognize my
strengths and my weaknesses. And again, like I've mentioned a
few times on the show, just even with going into
theater a year ago. I think the strengths that I
(12:44):
have in my performing a lot of that kind of
thing comes from neurodivergence as well. The ways I've decided
to express myself and the ways of kind of being
able to really empathize and immerse myself into a character.
I think it's some of that two. And another strategy
(13:05):
that I need to use when it comes to the
site and life in this podcast is a bit more
self compassion, because what happens is sort of behind the doors,
is I beat myself pretty hard. Not physically though that
has been something I've done before when I was younger,
(13:27):
but emotionally, I really get on myself, and I'm ashamed
and embarrassed that i haven't been able to do, you know,
the weekly episodes and when I promise Monday morning every
single week, and and so I get inside my head
and then I'm I don't start creating amore because I
have just drained myself of energy and I'm doubting myself.
(13:48):
And so self compassion is something I need to give
myself a bit more. Is maybe sometimes I'm not gonna
get the episode right on the deadline. Sometimes I'm gonna
be really low energy this week, and maybe I won't
review the movie right after opening night, and maybe it
won't or maybe I won't get to that movie, or
(14:11):
I won't get to it super soon, and I need
to be okay with that. Maybe an episode one week
is gonna be five minutes, or maybe an episode's gonna
be forty minutes, but it arrives a little late, and
I need to sort of recognize that and be more
aware again of my brainwiring if I'm still kidding episodes
(14:36):
that I post now when I'm not even close to
sort of being weekly and I'm still having people listening
to it, making those small little times where a little
late or a little short that's not gonna make me
lose listeners, because I mean, things have been a lot
worse these last few years, and we still have a
(14:57):
decent listener base, which I am absolutely thankful for. And
this then leads to another thing that I want to
do a lot more with my writing in this podcast
is really incorporate neuro divergence and mental health into the
shows and the reviews, looking at sort of those parallels
(15:22):
and using reviews as ways to kind of explore be
it mental health or divergence or or other things going on,
be more raw, be more honest. I would also really
like to just experiment a bit more. Of the plan
is still to have the movie breakdown. I mean, I'm
(15:44):
hoping going forward we can sort of in some form
try to keep this weekly. And if that's the case,
the plan is still to keep this as a movie
review show, and as I've said before, it will likely
be a solo show for a while, and then I
feel like I'm getting back into that rhythm and on
a weekly basis, I'll start really try to push hard
(16:07):
of finding guest hosts that are interesting in being the
show and would fit with the style and the vision
that I have for the podcast. But I would also
like to try some offshoot shows, try some different other
types of podcasts, or try some different types of creation,
lean a bit more into sort of storytelling, and look
(16:29):
at some of my other hyper focus and things that
I'm interested in, and really again just being open about
my narrow divergence journey, my mental health journey, because for me,
I just am so big on I wanted to be
a reason why I went through all these things and
(16:50):
why I had these challenges, and that is to help
other people and to make them know that they're not alone,
and to share my experience so that I can bring
some value to other people. So there's going to be
I think elements and echoes of that coming into the
main podcast, but it also will be sprinkled out with
(17:10):
me trying some other different types of shows. I might
try storytelling podcast, and I might try to do something
where I'm interviewing other creators and spotlighting them and maybe
even sort of neo divergent creators because I know a
few and so those are ideas and again over ambition,
and there's so many things I want to try, so
(17:30):
a lot of that is going to be pushed aside,
but for or something that I will sort of schedule
for the future and work towards that. For now, let's
just focus on getting weekly episodes going. But again, I
think there is going to be a little bit more
of me being open and honestly, even more so than
from the past, and like I said, focusing on the
(17:52):
Neil divergence and stuff, and if that is really uninteresting
to you and you're like, oh man, this show's going
to be a rag. I just want to find outf
a movie's good or not. It's really interesting because I
was going through some of my old writings and it
(18:12):
is very clear. I started to some other people and
to to sort of my therapists and other readers and
just kind of looking through my past works. And I'm
sure it's also very clear in the podcast is I
only discovered I was nail divergent in November December of
(18:39):
last year, at twenty twenty four, but my writing clearly
shows that this has been created by someone who's nail divergent.
A lot of the Nariro divergent thinking, the idea of
looking into patterns and really digging into themes and focusing
more on sort of the emotion and the connection and
(19:00):
digging into things, and the attachment to sort of the outsider,
the attachment to sort of trying to make sense of
the world and steer it away from the black and
white and looking at sort of what is considered normal,
is that really how things are done, and trying to
(19:22):
figure out what happens when you feel like you're not
fitting into a normal world. That is, those type of
questions and that type of explo exploration is heavily evident
in my writing and the way I approach movies and
how I reviewed it. So the reality is my nearal
divergence has always been there. I just didn't know I
(19:45):
was neuro divergent. And so the reality is we declaring
that that's going to be something that will be spotlighted
on this show. It's always been in this show. I
just wasn't aware of, and maybe some of you were,
and some of you because I've had a few people
being like, oh, I just always assume you were a
(20:05):
neuro divergin And so it's more I'm just putting a
label on it, so don't worry too much, and it's
probably not really gonna change that much. It's just more
me maybe trying to use that now to sort of
provide one to make this show distinct, but two to
really kind of have that connection and empathy and be
(20:29):
there for people. And like I'm hoping I could create
a show that is entertaining, engaging, but also maybe can
enlighten some people, but also feels like a safe place
for those who sometimes feel like the other even if
it is not necessarily neuro divergent, but you feel like
(20:51):
you don't fit in this world because of other reasons,
be it your how you identify gender or race, sexuality,
those type of things. That's really important to me. It's
always been important to me, And I mean, I don't
(21:12):
necessarily think I am the great voice for that. It's
just a voice something you can listen to. I mean,
I'm still a white male. I still have a lot
of privileges, and I'm still dorky and weird and quirky,
and I definitely don't have all the answers, and I'm
gonna get things wrong and I am going to accidentally
(21:33):
offend people. Things like that are going to happen. But
I think I hope I can present something that is
unique and interesting. And I mentioned this before and I've
written about it before, but I've never believed that a
movie review is just about is this movie good or not?
(21:55):
Aus Why would you do a podcast? Why would you
write a movie? I was just saying this is good,
and why like or this is bad? And why that's
not interesting? And I don't really know what the value
of that is, because, as I've said many times, artists
subjective and just because I think a movie is a masterpiece,
(22:18):
there's gonna be someone who doesn't think it's good, and
so that review is useless if its entire point is
just why it is good and or just be an
echo chamber. I don't want this podcast just be a
place where people jump on to listen to it, be
like I want my views reaffirmed. That's useless and pointless,
and there is definitely communities that are like that, and
(22:38):
that's not what I want. I want to create. I
want to explore creativity. I want to explore storytelling and imagination.
I want this to be a community that celebrates and
loves movies. And I want my reviews to really be
ways of of revealing bits of myself, showing why I
(23:04):
connect with the work, so obviously personal in that way,
but also really exploring themes and looking at how art
makes us understand the world more. It helps us to
connect with this world and what is the creator tried
to say? And what have we learned from this movie?
What does it say about characters, what does it say
about the world and social issues? And all that to
(23:28):
me that I love Roger Eeber because that's how he
wrote reviews, That's how he explored movies. He talked movies
about empathy machines. He loved movies because it allowed him
to understand lives and people that he would never be
and maybe even he would never see, and talk about
experiences that he would never be in. And that's I think,
(23:51):
what is the value of reviews. I want people to
walk away and say, that's an interesting perspective. I don't
necessarily even agree with him, but that's an interesting perspective
and it makes you think about things a little bit differently.
That's the value of movie reviews. It's not if it's
good or it's bad. That has been my goal since
(24:11):
twenty thirteen for this show. So if this what I'm
saying is absolutely shocking to you, then it means I
failed at my own goal. If you just like finding
out if something's good or bad, I think by now
you would have bailed out on this podcast because it
doesn't it would not be giving you what you wanted.
Or I just have not reached my goal at all.
(24:32):
I have not been successful. Another thing that I sort
of just want to bring out a little bit, and
I have talked about it on the podcast, is how
much I've really been annoyed and frustrated by a certain
(24:56):
circle of the film community is kind of pedaling this
anti woke movement or if it was the nineties and
you know, be anti PC this pushback saying that Hollywood
is all about going WoT go WoT go broke, which
(25:18):
obviously like things like Black Panther and Barbie and some
other recent movies. So that that's absolutely ridiculous. Is that
diversity has often led to massive box office success and
has drawn people and has made people who normally are
(25:40):
not seeing themselves on the screen they will finally go
because they are being represented and they connect to it.
I mean, my daughter, her favorite movies, her favorite Disney
movies are like Riot, Las Dragon and Mwana, And I mean,
my daughter's not Polynesian, but Malana is something that she
(26:01):
connects with because it's not a purely white princess. She
is darker skinned, and she has a personality is closer
to my daughter, who likes to go on adventure rya.
I mean, my daughter is half Chinese and so there
is a connection of her kind of seeing someone that
looks similar to her. And I think that's important. I
(26:21):
think that has a lot of value. I was pro
The Little Mermaid and who they decided to do with
that casting. And I love the fact that Black Panther,
it'd be one of the highest grossing movies. And so
the simple fact is, if you use the word woke,
this is probably not the show for you. And I
(26:44):
say that because anyone who uses the word woke is
probably anti diversity and is anti progress and is wanting
there to be more white nails in their movies. And
I might be wrong on a but the simple fact
is there is several YouTube channels that I blocked because
(27:09):
I just I'm not interested in that community, and it
frustrates me. There is one person where I'm not gonna
mention their name because I just I'd rather people not
know about him. And I mean, he's super popular and
he's got tons of subscribers, so he doesn't need mind
dorsmhen he he. Reality is he's got way more viewers
than I have listeners, that's for sure. But one thing
(27:31):
when I really realized how frustrated I am about that
movement is he went on a rant about I can't
remember what the movie was about, how he was objectively bad,
and that showed me how much a lot of people
in that group just don't understand film criticism at all,
because no movie is objectively bad. Art is not one
(27:54):
where it's objectively good or objectively bad. It's subjective. It
connects with you people in different ways. One person's worst
movie is another person's greatest movie ever made. That is
how art works. It's a rule that I've lived by.
In any critic I respect will agree and subscribe to
(28:17):
that motto. I know a movie that I love is
not going to resonate with every viewer, but at least
I hope my review lets them understand why I like
it and gives them a perspective on that picture. One
of our first ever breakdown shows I like The Lone Ranger.
(28:40):
I hated it. It made his worst of the Year list.
I have not revisited The Long Ranger since twenty thirteen,
but and partly it's because I like the fact that
I enjoyed it while everyone else tells me you like
something that's horrible. I saw something in it. Maybe I'll
visit one day and see if I still stand by it.
There's a one, aful person who's a newer listener that
(29:03):
did say have you ever visited that movie? You should,
which made me think that she was probably more on
Scott's side than mine. But there you go. But the
reality is this show is never going to believe that
something that is objectively bad or good, and I think
that diversity is an amazing thing. It continued to need
(29:28):
to be in cinema. We need different stories, we need
different perspectives, We need people of all races and backgrounds
and identifications, and it makes for more stories. It makes
movies what they really should be. What Roger Ebert said,
(29:48):
empathy machines lets us see those different perspectives. I think
it makes a richer and more robust cinematic landscape, and
that I stand by that. That's not to say that
all movies with diversity are good. Being diverse doesn't necessarily
make you good. You still need to be a strong storyteller,
(30:10):
a competent filmmaker, and no, not all those movies are good,
but that's never a reason for why they're bad. And
so that's my rant. Another thing that for years and
(30:30):
years and years, me and Scott debated back and forth,
do we do a worst of the year show? Except
for the last two years, obviously we haven't had our
year end shows, But for over ten years we had
the best of the year, the worst of the year,
(30:52):
and then recently in the last few years, We've brought
in the most underrated, and I've always struggled, not always actually,
but probably by twenty seventeen, twenty eighteen, I started wondering,
do we do a worst of a show? Do we
have a whole show where we're committed to looking at
things that are bad and wallowing in negativity. And part
(31:16):
of the reason why we brought in the underrated show
was because I was like, we're focusing on the best,
We're focusing on the worst, and then there's all these
wonderful movies that never get talked about again. And so
that's why I put it in. The underrated movies that
either critics and audiences hated that I enjoyed, And so
we put on a list to sort of champion that
(31:39):
or movies that sort of people just fell under the
radar and give us it a chance to spotlight them.
And that sort of ease my conscience a little bit
of having a worst of show, And there is a
lot of listeners that still like it, and so hopefully
I have a year end show, because hopefully I'm going
(31:59):
to start having it. Was again, I'm actually gonna watch
my first twenty twenty five movie in a theater very soon, hopefully,
but if I have a year and show, I probably
will do an underrated, a best of and a worst of.
But one of the things that has really bothered me
was sort of the state of film discourse recently has
(32:21):
been the focus on negativity and how some people seem
to just devote several episodes of just tearing a movie
down and it being such a big part of sort
of their their brand and how they established themselves. And
there's just so much negativity and social media in the
(32:46):
online space, and I think it is a hot you
gotta have, Like, if you're going to review a movie
no matter what, and if it ended up being something
that you just despised, you need to say that and
you need to be honest about it. But I don't
think you need to just jump on things and be
(33:08):
negative for the sake of negativity. And that seems to
be such a big thing right now, is there's people
that grab followings because you know they're gonna go on
their latest rant and hate something. I'd rather be known
as someone who's about celebrating and loving cinema and loving
life and bringing positivity, and there will be negative reviews,
(33:30):
but even then I want to recognize just how hard
it is to make a movie and recognize the beauty
of cinema. So even in that negative review, trying to
find something positive from it, even if for the most
part I'm bashing. And it's a bit harder when you're
(33:52):
doing something like you know, that awful Marmaduke movie or
the Fanatic and stuff like that, where there really is
nothing posit to those pictures. But and that's fine. If
you can't find anything that, that's fine. Still you still
do the review. But I definitely have got frustrated with
(34:12):
sort of that wallowey mentality that seems to be happening
in the toxicity that sees me over there all over
the place. And my goal is for the movie Breakdown
and Beyond the Balcony to be something that comes a
bit more of a celebration and positivity and loving cinema
with the total recognition that the stale of movies right
(34:33):
now aren't awesome, at least at the mainstream level. I'm
worring out on all these comic book movies, and there
isn't a lot of big blockbusters that I've been excited about.
I'm tired of sequels and the stuff that Warner Brothers
is doing. I want there to be more original ideas,
and there hasn't been maybe a lot of movies in
(34:55):
the last few years I walk away and saying, oh,
that's a classic, and so I'm aware of that. But
there has still been great movies. There still has been
a Top Gun, Maverick, or Everything Everywhere All at Once,
or The Fableman's and West Side Story, those last two
being Steven Spielberg movies. I mean, there's still great stuff
(35:19):
out there. But I mean that doesn't mean that I'm
not gonna be open of saying, oh, there's a lot
about the movie industry right now that's kind of annoying
and frustrating. But there is some great independent movies, and
my goal is to try to seek out find those
hidden gems and celebrate them. I'm more excited about digging
(35:40):
and finding those kind of surprise great movies than wallowing
sort of in the trash. And that leads me to
another thing is I think I've mentioned Chris Stuck been
on here before, and there's been a recent backlash of
(36:01):
people who used to listen to him that have been
really opposed to his recent stance where basically Chris Duckman,
because he has now become a filmmaker and he's gonna
have a movie released this year. He has been he
basically we first he declared that he wasn't gonna do
(36:22):
worst of lists anymore, and then the last I think
two years, he's essentially said that he's not going to
review movies he doesn't like anymore. The only videos that
we get posted on YouTube channel is movies that he
that he likes, that he loved, that he enjoys, and
he's sticking to that. He's staying away from agave reviews,
and people said, well, then you're not a film critic,
(36:45):
and they have really pushed against that, and hey, the
fact that all he's done is put positive reviews. Some
people have even questioned if they're all honest, Like when
he put in Our Guy and he they said, the
only reason he gave that a positive reviews that he
had recently interviewed the director. And so there's a feeling
of a bit of pandering. Well, I didn't get a
(37:07):
review Matthew. I interview Matthew Vaughan, and I liked our guyle.
And I know I'm in the minority. I know a
lot of people didn't like it, but I watched it
once I saw on the theme of my wife and
we had a good time. Yes, it's over long, but
I think there was a lot a better that was
kind of fun and so I largely agreed a lot
with Chris Stuckman. So I don't think he gave it
a positive review just because he had recently interviewed the director.
(37:30):
And I also think that if Stuckman has decided that
he largely just wants to put in positive reviews, I
mean I've watched a lot of his reviews, and he
will still put in criticisms, he will still be honest
when there is some flaws of that movie. It's just
he's largely putting in movies that he's going to recommend.
(37:51):
And I think there's a place for that, because here's
the reality of these people who were calling him out,
some of these other critics and fans. Because we all
pick the movies we review. Nobody camera review and watch
every single movie that comes in a given year. Noah
could even probably review every single wide release, and they don't.
(38:15):
I think of like Jeremy Johns and retro Roper, they
often don't review a lot of the animated movies, and
I think it's Uni Jerames Bear Danelli. There's movies that
he skips on. And the fact is there's everyone who
is going to be like, oh, that movie doesn't look good.
(38:36):
I'm going to stay home, especially if you're an independent reviewer,
if you're not with a magazine or a site where
they assign which movies you have to review. If you
are sort of a YouTube critic and you can decide
what we review, the reality is there's movies you decide
to skip. Be it you don't review Netflix movies, or
(38:56):
there's four movies that have been reviewed this weekend or
that come out this weekend. I can't to all four.
I will pick this three. And the simple fact is
that just happens with everyone. So Stuckman's just deciding that
those are the movies that he wants to review. And
I think the reality is sometimes some of these movies
that critics have picked a review, like I think of
(39:19):
like some like Fifty Shades of Gray or some of
these other movies, I think they literally decided to watch
it so that they could trash on it and destroy
That is why they watched it. That was your decision.
You never thought you were going to like it. That
movie's not even really for your target demographic that watches you,
and you just did it so that you could entertain
(39:40):
them by ripping on a movie that really wasn't made
for you anyways. So for me, I have not watched
any of the fifty Shades of Gray. I knew they
wouldn't like them. I don't think my listeners really care
about those movies. If there were listeners that came to
me instead, I really want to hear your opinion on
that movie. I mean, maybe then I would go see it,
(40:01):
but that never happened, and so then I never watched them.
And so I think the Stuckman backlash is silly because
every critic decides what they're going to see. This is
what how the movie he's decided. I choose what I'm
going to see. Every critic chooses what they're going to see,
unless again, you work for a newspaper a bigger publication
and they assign what you have to see. But yeah,
(40:23):
I think I think that stuff is silly. And like
I said, sometimes I will see something because a listener
or a reader requested it. That's why I why me
and Scott reviewed the two Rebel Moon movies. They're horrible,
but we we did it because that is we do
(40:44):
it for our fans. That's why we do it. Another
thing that I'm not interested in ever doing as a
writer of film or writer of pop culture or this
podcast is ever turning this into sort of a marketing
(41:10):
vehicle disguised as a news outlet. There's been several sites
that I used to read on a regular basis that
really feel like they've become more and more sort of
marketing tools for the studios, where they hype up all
(41:34):
look at the latest, like cast photos, behind the scene footage,
Oh look at this, And I'm just I'm not interested
at all in journalism that really is just a marketing tool.
And I've always sort of had a soft spot for trailers,
and so I mean, i might still review trailers someday
(41:55):
more just because I'm interested in the former trailers and
what trailers do, and i think a good trailer itself
is a form of art. But I'm not interested in
ever sort of being something that is just playing into
the hype. I think one of the things that really
frustrates me about current kind of film journalism is it's
weeks and weeks and weeks of analyzing sort of on
(42:22):
set photos and analyzing what will be in this movie
and really just being a machine of hype, and then
once the movie comes out, they barely talked about the
movie because they've now moved on to the latest hype machine.
There's a lot more pieces written about probably Thunderbolts before
it's released then there will be after it's released, and
(42:45):
that frustrates me. I'm more interested in analyzing the art
and writing about the art and talking about it after
I've actually seen it and it come out with themes
and having episodes that are more devoted about actual art
that has been seen and rather than being part of
the hype. Another thing that has become really bad is clickbait.
(43:12):
I'm getting really tired of sort of those titles of like,
you know, the one horror movie that Harrison Ford ever
was in, and that's the title because I want you
to click to find out what it is, rather than saying,
you know, the sort of I can't remember that movies
(43:35):
is with Michelle Pfeiffer and Harrison Ford's in it, and
the trailer spoiled that he was bad guy. What lies beneath?
I think rather than saying you know why Harrison Harrison
Fords What Lies Beneath was Harrison Ford's first foray into
(43:57):
being a horror villain. You reveal it, you know what
you're going to talk about, and the person can dig in,
rather than this sort of mysterious nonsense that comes from
clickbait articles. And I just I'm not a fan of it,
and I hope I can avoid being clickbaity for most
of my career. I remember back in twenty thirteen, I
(44:19):
wrote an article for a certain sight and they came
back to me saying, can you can you change this
title to make it They didn't say clickbaity, but appeal
more and catch the eyes of the reader. And the
title they pitched. I went back and said, that's not honest.
That's not even what I'm writing about. What you put
in this title is not connected to the piece. And
so they came back and said, well, can you massage
(44:42):
the piece a little so it connects a bit more
with that title, And I said no, because it's not factual,
it's not the truth. And that was one of the
cases where I actually won out and I was able
to keep the piece authentic and honest. But it's very
clear to me now thirteen, it's got even worse over
ten years later about this idea of creating stuff that
(45:07):
really is for the clicks and for getting reactions from people,
and that has always kind of driven me crazy. I
will also confess that I'm just really bad at headlines.
I think I might be a great storyteller. I might
be a great writer. I can craft an article that's engaging,
(45:27):
but I do have a hard time sort of that
sort of catch your eye headlines. But hey, that's what
AI is for, right They can help me make my
lines better, or that's what an editor is for, and
maybe I'll get better over time. So yeah, this has
not been your typical episode. But thank you for sticking
(45:51):
with me, thank you for listening to this episode. Thank
you for despite the fact that I've been so inconsistent
that you decide to download this once again and see
what I had to say, And thank you for your patience.
And I'm really going to try to get those strategies
in place, and really hopefully with the therapy and figuring
(46:14):
stuff out about myself, we are going to get this
podcast back to be weekly. I really want to review
Walls Engramment Vengeance Most Foul, and I want to watch
it and review it with my kids, and so hopefully
next week that is what will happen on the Monday
(46:35):
episode when it gets posted on Monday, fingers crossed, and
I will start catching up on twenty twenty five movies
several months behind. We're in April now, but I'm hoping
to get back on track with that, and I just
hope this is a show that I can make entertaining,
provide insight, shed a bit of my soul, and give
(46:58):
something of value to all of you amazing listeners. I
forgot to do what we usually start out the show.
So I want to thank speaker Prime for being the
hosting site for the movie Breakdown, and beyond the balcony
my own site, my own wonderful site where you can
(47:21):
see my writings, which I have had something on the
site every single day this year, but it's not had
the movie reviews or the pop culture insight and that
type of stuff that I want. It's largely me sort
of repurposing posts from Facebook or other social media and
turning it a bit into an article and be more
(47:43):
about nero divergence. But there is stuff on there, so
if you don't have social media and you're interested in
a little bit of learning about what I'm learning about
what I'm learning, that is definitely not how I want
that sentence to go. But if you want to see
a bit about mike experience of my journey with mental
health and ill divergence, that's what's really been on Beyond
(48:05):
the Balcony this year, along with a little bit of
hype about our theater shows. I did Murder on the
o Own Express and music Man's on the Way. I'll
be mayor Shin and Danica is going to be in
the kid Ensemble, Emily will be a pick a Little Lady,
and ever it's going to be windthroped, so we never
have two big parts. And so that'll be the first
(48:25):
two weeks of May with Community on stage in Cambridge,
and so if you're in that area, we'd love for
you to check it out. And so, yeah, you can
see all that kind of stuff on the site. Beyond
the Balcony. The goals to get beyond the balky back
to what I envisioned it to be, which is sort
of those personal touches and the mental health and the
creative process, but also actually reviewing movies and beat about
(48:48):
pop culture mostly sort of the movie realm and sort
of letting it and Beyond the Balcony sort of Beyond
the Balcony in the Movie Breakdown kind of supplement each
each other. And so that's the goal, hopefully something that
maybe you can start up this week and then down
the line. I am I newsletters and expanding, but I
(49:10):
gotta take it slow. I don't want my ambition to
overwhelm me, and I want to be able to provide
great stuff for you. So yeah, so you can check
out Beyond the Balcony, which I've already mentioned at Beyond
Balcony dot com, and if you want to contact me,
(49:31):
actually I have a question of the week for you
if you do want to answer a question and then
send out that answer to me. What movie genre do
you consider your comfort zone? What's your comfort food movie genre?
Let me know what that is. That's the question for
this week, and you can tell me that at the
Movie Breakdown at gmail dot com, as well on Twitter
(49:54):
at Movie Breakdown one, Facebook at the Movie Breakdown. And
of course you can subscribe and rate us on Speaker, Spotify,
cast Box, Apple Potcasts, Speaker Prime, Amazon Music, or wherever
you listen to your podcasts, if you listen to us
(50:15):
on the Speaker app, that helps us any small little
bits of kind of sponsorship money we get, which is
not very much at this point, A little bit more
goes our way if you listen on the Speaker app.
So that's a way you can help us. And yeah,
if you enjoyed this show, any show in the past
(50:35):
or any show the future, please share us on social media,
get the word out there. If we grow, then I
can do more shows, I can do more stuff. I
can focus more on this rather than scrambling for getting
my career on track. And if you are in need
of someone who has experienced as a pop culture commonness,
(50:57):
parenting blogger, news reporter, someone who can do storytelling for
a brand, someone who has add copy experience, someone who
is creative and can maybe add a voice to your
company and has experienced with sort of social media management,
that's another thing. You can reach out to me and
see if I can do some work for you, or
(51:20):
if you know someone that's looking for it. I would
really appreciate it because that would mean quite a bit
of being able to get my career back on track.
So I appreciate that as well. But that's all I've
got this week. Hopefully next week i'll be back and
you'll hear our review of wals grammant Veget's Most Foul
and potentially reviews for maybe some other movies. If that
(51:43):
ends up being the only movie, that's okay. There's a
few times where I stop watching because I was like,
I want to have several reviews. I want the shows
to be massive and have a lot of reviews. So
if I can't do that, then I'm not gonna do
it this week. And I'm not going to do that anymore.
If it ends up being a short episode, that's fine.
(52:04):
I would rather something than nothing. Done, is better than perfection,
all of the things my therapist is trying to teach me,
and here I am rambling. Well, you're done now, so
thank you for listening to this episode of the movie Breakdown.
Of course, I'm still Christopher Spicer, and have a great week.
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Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.