The Mysterious stranger - Chapter 10

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Episode Transcript

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Chapter ten of The Mysterious Stranger byMark Twain. This is a LibriVox recording.
All LibriVox recordings are in the publicdomain. For more information or to
volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Read by Patrick seventy nine. Chapter
ten, Oh days and days wentby now and no Satan. It was

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dull without him. But the astrologer, who had returned from his excursion to
the moon, went about the village, braving public opinion, and getting a
stone in the middle of his backnow and then when some witch hater got
a safe chance to throw it anddodge out of sight. Meantime, two

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influences had been working well for Margaret. That's Satan, who was quite in
different to her, had stopped goingto her house after a visit of two
had hurt her pride, and shehad set herself the task of banishing him
from her heart. The reports ofWilhelm Meeedling's dissipation, brought to her from

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time to time by old Ursula,had touched her with remorse. Jealousy of
Satan been the cause of it.And so now these two matters working upon
her together. She was getting agood profit out of the combination, her

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interest in Satan was steadily cooling,her interest in Wilm was steadily warming.
All that was needed to complete herconversion was that Wilhelm should brace up and
do something that should cause favorable talkand incline the public towards him again.

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Oh, the opportunity came now.Margaret sent and asked him to defend her
uncle in the approaching trial. Andhe was greatly pleased and stopped drinking and
began his preparations with diligence, withmore diligence than hope, in fact,

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for it was not a promising case. He had many interviews in his office
with Seppi and me and thrashed outour testimonies pretty thoroughly, thinking to find
some valuable grains among the chaff.But the harvest was poor. Of course,

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if Satan would only come, thatwas my constant thought. He could
invent some way to win the case, for he had said it would be
won, so he necessarily knew howit could be done. But the days

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dragged on and still he did notcome. Of course, I did not
doubt that it would win, andthat Father Peter would be happy for the
rest of his life, since Satanhad said so, yet I knew I

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should be much more comfortable if hewould come and tell us how to manage
it. It was getting high timefor Father Peter to have a saving chance
towards happiness, for by general report, he was worn out with his imprisonment
and the ignominy that was burdening him, and like to die of his miseries

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unless he got relief. Soon.At last, the trial came on,
and the people gathered from all aroundto witness it, many of them strangers
from considerable distances. Yes, everybodywas there except the accused. He was

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too feeble in body for the strain. But Margaret was present and keeping up
her hope and her spirit the bestshe could. The money was present too.
It was emptied on the table andwas handled and caressed and examined by
such as were privileged. The astrologerwas put in the witness box. He

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had on his best hat and robefor the occasion. You claim that this
money is yours, and I dohow did you come by it? I
found the bag in the road whenI was returning from a journey, when,

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oh it was more than two yearsago. And what did you do
with it? I brought it homeand hid it in a secret place in
my observatory, intending to find theowner if I could you endeavored to find
him. I made diligent inquiry duringseveral months, but nothing came of it.

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And then I thought it not worthwhileto look further, and was minded
to using the money in finishing thewing of the foundling asylum connected with the
prior and nunnery. So I tookit out of his hiding place and counted
it to see if any of itwas missing. And then, why do

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you stop? Now? Proceed now? I am sorry to have to say
this, But just as I hadfinished and was restoring the bag to its
place, I looked up and therestood Father Peter behind me. Oh.
Several murmured, oh, that's bad, but others answered up, but he

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is such a liar, and thatmade you uneasy. Oh No, I
thought nothing of it at the time, for Father Peter often came to me
unannounced to ask for a little helpin his need. Margaret blushed Crimson at

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hearing her uncle falsely and impudently chargedwith begging, especially from one he had
always denounced as a fraud, andwas going to speak, but remembered herself
in time and held her peace.Uh well proceed In the end, I

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was afraid to contribute the money tothe Foundling Asylum, but elected to wait
yet another year and continue my inquiries. When I heard the Father Peter's find,
well, I was glad, andno suspicions entered my mind. When

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I came home a day or twolater and discovered that my own money was
gone, I still did not suspectuntil three circumstances connected with Father Peter's good
fortune struck me as being singular coincidences. Ooh Pray named them. Father Peter

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had found his money in a path. I had found mine in a road.
Father Peter's find consisted exclusively of goldducats. Mine also, Father Peter
found eleven hundred and seven ducats Iexactly the same or This closed his evidence,

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and certainly it made a strong impressionon the house. Van could see
that well. Wilhelm Needling asked himof some questions, then called us boys,
and we told our tale who hadmade the people laugh, and we
were ashamed. We were feeling prettybadly anyhow, because Wilhelm was hopeless and

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showed it. He was doing aswell as he could poor young fellow,
but nothing of us in his favor, And such sympathy as there was was
now plainly not with his client.It might be difficult for court and people
to believe the Astrologer's story, consideringhis character, but it was almost impossible

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to believe Father Peters. We werealready feeling badly enough. But when the
Astrologers's lawyer said he believed he couldnot ask us any questions, for for
our story was a little delicate andit would be cruel for him to put
any strain upon it. Everybody tittered, and it was almost more than we

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could bear. Then he made asarcastic little speech and got so much fun
out of our tale, and itseemed so ridiculous and childish and every way
impossible and foolish, that it madeeverybody laugh till the tears came. And

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at last Margaret could not keep upher courage any longer, but broke down
and cried. Oh, I wasso sorry for her. Now I noticed
something that braced me up. Itwas Satan standing alongside of Wilhelm. Oh,

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there was such a contrast. Satanlooked so confident, had such a
spirit in his eyes, and face, and Wilhelm looked so depressed and despondent.
We too were comfortable now and judgedthat he would testify and persuade the
bench and the people that black waswhite, and white black or any color

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he wanted it. We glanced aroundto see what the strangers in the house
thought of him, for he wasbeautiful, you know, stunning in fact,
but no one was noticing him,so we knew by that that he

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was invisible. The lawyer was sayinghis last words, and while he was
saying them, Satan began to meltinto Wilhelm. He melted into him and
disappeared. Then there was a changewhen his spirit began to look out of

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Wilhelm's eyes. That lawyer finished quiteseriously and with dignity. He pointed to
the money, and he said,the love of it is the root of
all evil. There it lies.The ancient tempter newly read, with the

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shame of its latest victory, thedishonor of a priest of God and his
two poor juvenile helpers in crime.If it could but speak, let us
hope that it would be constrained toconfess that of all its conquest, this

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was the basest and the most pathetic. Oh he sat down. Wilhelm rose
and said, from the testimony ofthe accuser, I gathered that he found
this money in a road more thantwo years ago. Correct me, sir,

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if I misunderstood you. The extrologersaid, his understanding of it was
correct, and the money so foundwas never out of his hands thenceforth up
to a certain definite date, thelast day of last year. Correct me,

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sir, if I am wrong.The astrologer nodded his head. Wilhelm
turned to the bench and said,if I prove that this money here was
not that money, then it isnot his, certainly not. But this
is irregular. If you had suchwitness, it was your duty or gave

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proper notice of it and have himhere too. He broke off and began
to consult with the other judges.Meantime, that other lawyer got up excited
and began to protest against allowing newwitnesses to be brought into the case at
this late stage. The judges decidedthat his contention was just and must be

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allowed. But this is not anew witness, said Wilhelm. It has
already been partly examined. Well,I speak of the coin. The coin,
What can the coin say? Itcan say it is not the coin

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that the astrologer once possessed. Itcan say it was not in existence by
last December, by its date.It can say this, and it was
so. There was the greatest excitementin the court while lawyer and the judges
were reaching for coins and examining themand exclaiming, and everybody was full of

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admiration for Wilhelm's brightness in happening tothink of that neat idea. At last
order was called, and the courtsaid, all of the coins are but
four out of the date of thepresent year. The Court tenders its sincere

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sympathy to the accused and its deepregret that he, an innocent man,
through an unfortunate mistake, has sufferedthe undeserved humiliation of imprisonment and trial.
The case is dismissed. So themoney could speak after all, though that

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lawyer thought it couldn't. The courtrose at Almost everybody came forward to shake
hands with Margaret and congratulate her,and then to shake with Wilhelm and praise
him. And Satan had stepped outof Wilhelm and was standing around looking on,
full of interest and people were walkingthrough him every which way, not

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knowing he was there. And Wilhelmcould not explain why he only thought of
the date on the coins at thelast moment instead of earlier. He said,
it just occurred to him all ofa sudden, like an inspiration,
and he brought it right out withoutany hesitation. For although he didn't examine

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the coins, he seemed somehow toknow it was true. Oh, that
was honest of him, and likehim, another would have pretended he had
thought of it earlier and was keepingit back for a surprise. He had
dulled down a little. Now werenot much, but still you could notice

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that he hadn't that luminous look inhis eyes that he had while Satan was
in him. He nearly got itback, though, for a moment,
when Margaret came and praised him andthanked him, and couldn't keep him from
seeing how proud she was of him. And the astrologer went off dissatisfied and

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cursing, and Solomon Isaac's gathered upthe money and carried it away. It
was Father Peters for good and all. Now Satan was gone. I judged
that he had spirited himself away tothe jail to tell the prisoner the news.
And in this I was right,Margaret, and the rest of us

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hurried thither at our best speed,in a great state of rejol. Well,
what Satan had done was this.He had appeared before the poor prisoner,
exclaiming, the trial is over,and you stand forever disgraced as a

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thief by the verdict of the court. Oh, the shock unseated the old
man's reason. When we arrived tenminutes later, he was parading pompously up
and down, and delivering commands tothis and that and other constable or jailer,
and calling them Grand Chamberlain, andPrince this, and Prince that,

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and Admiral of the fleet, fieldMarshal in command, and all such fustion,
and was as happy as a bird. He thought he was an emperor.
Oh, Margaret clung herself to hisbreast and cried, And it did
everybody was moved almost to heartbreak.You recognize Margaret, but could not understand

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why she should cry. He pattedher on the shoulder and said, oh,
don't do it, dear. Rememberthere are witnesses, and it is
not becoming in the crown. Princess, tell me your trouble. It shall
be mended. There is nothing theemperor cannot do. Oh. Then he

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looked around and saw old Ursela upwith apron to her eyes. He was
puzzled at that, and said,and what is the matter with you?
Through her sobs, she got outwords, explaining that she was distressed to
see him. So he reflected overthat a moment, then muttered, as

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if to himself, the singular oldthing, the dowager dust as well.
She means well, but is alwayssnuffling and well, never able to tell
what it is about. It isbecause she doesn't know. And his eye
fell on Wilhelm, a prince ofIndia. He said, I divine that

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it is you that the crown princessis concerned about. Her tears shall be
dried. I shall no longer standbetween you. She shall share your throne,
and between you you shall inherit mine. Oh there, little lady,

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have I done well? You cansmile now, isn't it so well?
He petted Margaret and kissed her,and was so contented with himself and with
everybody that he could not do enoughfor us all, but began to give
away kingdoms and such things right andleft and the least that any of us

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got was a principality. And so, at last, being persuaded to go
home, he marched an imposing state, and when the crowds along the way
saw how it gratified him to beso hurrad at, they honored him at

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the top of his desire, andhe responded with condescending boughs and gracious smiles,
and often stretched out a hand andsaid, oh, bless you,
my people. As pitiful a sightas ever. I saw then Margaret and

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old Ursula crying all the way onmy road home, I came upon Satan,
and I reproached him with deceiving mewith that lie. He was not
embarrassed, but said, quite simplyand composedly, Ah, you mistake,

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It was the truth. I said. He would be happy the rest of
his days, and he will,for he will always think he is the
Emperor, and his pride in it, and his joy in it will endure
to the end. He is nowand will remain the one utterly happy person

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in this empire. But the methodof it, Satan, the method,
couldn't you have done it without deprivinghim of his reason? Oh, it
was difficult to irritate Satan, butthat accomplished it. What an ass you

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are, he said, Are youso unobservant as to have found out that
sanity and happiness are an impossible combination? No sane man can be happy,
for to him life is real,and he sees what a fearful thing it

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is. Only the mad can behappy. And not many of those,
the few that imagine themselves kings orgods are happy. The rest, well,
they're no happier than the saying.Of course, no man is entirely

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in his right mind at any time. But I have been referring to the
extreme cases. I have taken fromthis man, that trumpery, which the
race regards as a mind. Ihave replaced his tin life with a silver
gilt fiction. And you see theresult, and you criticize. I said

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I would make him permanently happy,and I have done it. I have
made him happy by the only meanspossible to this race. And you are
not satisfied. Oh, He heaveda discouraged sigh and said, it seems

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to me that this race is hardto please. Ah, there it was.
You see, he didn't seem toknow any way to do a person
of favor, except by killing himor making a lunatic out of him.

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Apologized as well as I could,but privately I did not think much of
his processes. At that time,Satan was accustomed to say that our race
lived a life of continuous and uninterruptedself deception. It duped itself from cradle

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to grave with shams and delusions whichit mistook for realities. And this made
its entire life a sham. Ofthe score of fine qualities which it imagined
it had, and was vain ofit really possessed hardly one. It regarded

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itself as gold, and was onlybrass. One day, when he was
in this vein, he mentioned thedetail the sense of humor. I cheered
up then and took his shoe.I said, ve possessed it. There

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spoke the race, he said,always ready to claim what it hasn't got,
and mistake its ounce of brass filingsfor a ton of gold dust.
You have a moral perception of humor, nothing more. A multitude of you

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possessed that. This multitude see thecomic side of a thousand low grade and
trivial things, broad incongruities, mainlygrotesqueries, absurdities, evocus of the horse
laugh. The ten thousand high gradecomicalities which exist in the world are sealed

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from their dull vision. Will theday come when the race detect the funniness
of these juvenilities and laugh at them, and by laughing at them, destroy
them. For your race, inits poverty, has unquestionably one really effective

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weapon. Laughter. Oh, power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution.
These can lift at a colossal humbug, push it a little, weaken
it a little, century by century, But only laughter can blow it to

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rags and atoms at a blast.Against the assault of laughter, nothing can
stand. You are always fussing andfighting with your other weapons. Do you
ever use that one? No?You leave it lying rusting as a race,

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Do you ever use it at all? No, you lack the sense
and the courage. We were travelingat the time and stopped at the little
city in India and looked on whilea juggler did his tricks before a group

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of natives. Oh, they werewonderful, But I knew Satan could beat
that game. And I begged himto show off a little, and he
said he would. He changed himselfinto a native in turban and breechcloth and
very considerably conferred on me a temporaryknowledge of the language. The juggler exhibited

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a seed, covered it with earthin a small flower pot, then put
the rag over the pot. Aftera minute, the rag began to rise.
In ten minutes it had risen afoot. And then the rag was
removed, and a little tree wasexposed, with leaves upon it and the

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ripe fruit. He ate the fruit, and it was good. But Satan
said, why do you cover thepot? Can't you grow the tree in
the sunlight. No, said thejuggler, No one can do that.

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You are only an apprentice. Youdon't know your trade. Give me the
seed and I will show you.He took the seed and said, what
shall I raise from it? Oh? It is a jerseyed, of course,
you will raise a cherry. Ohno, that is a trifle.

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Any novice can do that. ShallI raise an orange tree from it?
Oh? Yes, And the jugglerlaughed. And shall I make it bear
other fruits as well as oranges?Oh? Yes, you've got wills?
Yes, and they all laughed.Satan put the seed in the ground,

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put a handful of dust on it, and said rise. A tiny stem
shot up and began to grow andgrew so fast that in five minutes it
was a great tree, and wewere sitting in the shade of it.
There was a murmur of wonder.Then all looked up and saw a strange

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and pretty sight, for their brancheswere heavy with fruits of many kinds and
colors, oranges, grapes, bananas, peaches, cherries, apricots, oh
and so on. Baskets were brought, and the unlading of the tree began,
and the people crowded around Satan andkissed his hand and praised him,

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calling him the Prince of jugglers.The news went about to the town,
and everybody came running to see thewunder and they remembered to bring baskets too.
But the tree was equal to theoccasion. It put out new fruits
as fast as any were removed.Baskets were filled by the score by the

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hundred, but always the supply remainedundiminished. At last, a foreigner,
invite Linen and sun helmet, arrivedand exclaimed angrily, get away from here,
clear out, you dogs. Thetree is on my land and is

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my property. The natives put downtheir baskets and made humble obeisance. Satan
made humble obeesties too, with hisfingers to his forehead in the native way,
and said, oh, please,let them have their pleasure for an
hour, sir, only that,and no longer afterwards you may forbid them,

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and you will still have more fruitthan you and the state together can
consume in a year. Oh.This made the foreigner very angry, and
he cried out, who are you, you vagabond to tell your betters what
they may do and what they meant? And he struck Satan with his cane,

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and followed error with a kick.Oh, the fruits rotted on the
branches, and the leaves withered andfell. The foreigner gazed at the bare
limbs with the look of one whois surprised and not gratified. And Satan
said, take good care of thetree, for its health and yours are

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bound together. It will never bearfruit again, but if you tend it
well, it will live long.Water its roots once in each hour,
every night, and do it yourself. It must not be done by proxy,

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and to do it in daylight willnot answer. If you fail only
once in any night, the treewill die. And you, likewise,
do not go home to your owncountry anymore. You would not reach there.

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Make no business or pleasure engagements whichrequire you to go outside your gate
at night. You cannot afford therisk. Do not rent or sell this
place. It would be injudicious.The foreigner of us proud and wouldn't beg

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But I thought he looked as ifhe would like to valley, stood gazing
at Satan. He vanished away andlanded in Ceylon. I was sorry for
that man. Sorry Satan hadn't beenhis customary self and killed him or made
him a lunatic. It would havebeen a mercy. Satan overheard the thought

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and said, I would have doneit but for his who has not offended
me. She is coming to himpresently from their native land, Portugal.
She is well, but she hasnot long to live, and has been
yearning to see him and persuade himto go back with her. Next year

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she will die without knowing he can'tleave that place. He will tell her
he he will not trust that secretwith anyone. He will reflect that it
could be revealed in sleep in thehearing of some Portuguese guest servant some time

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or other. Or did none ofthose natives understand what you said to him?
None of them understood, But hewill always be afraid that some of
them did. That fear will torturehim, for he has been a harsh
master to them. In his dreams, he will imagine them chopping his tree

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down. That will make his daysuncomfortable. I have already arranged for his
knights. It grieved me, thoughnot sharply, to see him take such
a malicious satisfaction in his plans forthis foreigner. Does he believe what you

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told him, Satan? He thoughthe didn't. But our vanishing help the
tree where there had been no treebefore, that helped, the insane and
uncanny variety of fruits, and suddenwithering. All these things are helps.

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Let him think as he may,reason as he may. One thing is
certain. He will water the tree. But between this and night he will
begin his changed career with a verynatural precaution for him. Oh what is

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that? He will fetch a priestto cast out the tree's devil. Oh,
you are such a humorous race,and don't suspect it? Will he
tell the priest. No, hewill say a juggler from Bombay created it,

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and that he wants the juggler's devildriven out of it so that it
will thrive and be fruitful again.The priest's incantations will fail. Then the
Portuguese will give up that scheme andget his watering pot ready. Ah,
but the priest will burn the tree, I know it. He will not

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allow it will remain. Yes,and anywhere in Europe he would burn the
man too. But in India thepeople are civilized, and these things will
not happen. The man will drivethe priest away and take care of the

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tree. Well, I reflected alittle, then said Satan, you have
given him a hard life. Ithink well, comparatively. Well, it
must not be mistaken for a holiday. We flitted from place to place around

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the world, as we had donebefore, saythan showing me a hundred wanders,
most of them reflecting in some waythe weakness and triviality of our race.
He did this now every few days, not out of malice, I
am sure of that. It onlyseemed to amuse and interest him, just

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as a naturalist might be amused andinterested by a collection of ants. End
of Chapter ten.