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August 5, 2025 34 mins
A diagnosis doesn’t mean you have to hit pause on your purpose. In this episode, Lyndsay Soprano sits down with Deb Krier—a powerhouse entrepreneur, stage four breast cancer survivor, and proof that you can still show up and lead, even when life throws its worst.

They talk about what it really takes to keep moving forward while living with chronic pain, illness, and the emotional weight of it all. Deb shares how she built her “battle plan” with doctors, used humor as fuel, and leaned into empathy—not just to survive cancer, but to keep thriving in business and in life.

This episode isn’t about pretending it’s easy. It’s about choosing to rise anyway. It’s for anyone who’s ever felt like their diagnosis defined them, or who’s been told to slow down when every part of them still wants to show up.

Deb reminds us that empowerment starts from within—but it’s amplified when we use it to lift others. Because thriving isn’t about ignoring the hard stuff. It’s about carrying it with purpose.

Tune in if you're ready to reclaim your ambition—regardless of what you’re carrying.

Find Deb Krier Online Here:
Website: tryingnottodie.live
Website: debkrier.com
Facebook Group: Trying Not to Die
LinkedIn: Deb Krier
Podcast: The Business Power Hour with Deb Krier

Find The Pain Game Podcast Online Here:
Website: thepaingamepodcast.com
Instagram: @thepaingamepodcast
Facebook: The Pain Game Podcast
LinkedIn: Lyndsay Soprano
YouTube: The Pain Game Podcast

Episode Highlights:
(00:00) Introduction to Chronic Pain and Trauma
(02:29) Living with Chronic Pain: Personal Experiences
(05:32) Courage in the Face of Cancer
(08:16) Managing Pain and Emotional Support
(11:02) Balancing Work and Health
(14:06) Advocating for Yourself in Healthcare
(19:35) Seven Courageous Steps to Face Cancer
(28:13) Conclusion and Call to Action
Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
This is Your Pain Game podcast where we talk about
the game of living in and with chronic pain and
trauma get into the heart of how to heal. I
am your host, Lindsay Soprano. On the show, I plan
on discussing with doctors, chronic pain patients, holistic practitioners, loved ones,
and anybody that is interested in having their voice.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
Heard in the chronic pain and trauma world that we
live in.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
So I have been running a busy marketing agency for
almost twenty five years until I decided to retire in October.
And you know what I've found is that I am
busier than I ever was, and that is.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
Like insane, how that's humanly possible.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
And I always made fun of my parents kind of
scoffed at them when they had said the same thing
after they retired. But a great deal of what I
spend my time on now is this show that you're
listening to, and if you're watching a little bit of
it on our shorts on YouTube, thank you very much
for doing so. But the rest of the time that
I'm spending on in my life is actually taking care

(01:16):
of my body and working in pain every moment, which
blows so one of the reasons that I did decide
to retire was I was just sick and tired of
my clients, not because I did not love them, not
because they had not been loyal to me. For some
of them over a decade fifteen years. I mean, they'd
been with me for a long time. But I was
sick and tired of working on projects that I had
zero interest in anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
And I had like kind of lost my.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
Marketing mojo, if you will, and my work was starting
to reflect on that, and that was where I had
to say forget it. And pain was also the number
one culprit in making this decision, unfortunately, because it's really
hard to focus on things that you love to do
when you live in this kind of pain. But it's
really really difficult to focus on things you don't want

(02:01):
to do when you live in this world of pain
and chaos. I mean it a serious chaos in my life, guys.
The impact of pain on my daily life and my
relationships is intense and it's super frustrating. And I know
my guest loves this word because she learned it from me.
And you're welcome, Hotlanta. So today we're going to chat

(02:21):
with my guests about a bunch of stuff. But one
thing we're going to talk about is being courageous when
you're facing cancer. All Right, We're gonna talk a little
bit about our scars, having scars, how we work through that,
managing chronic pain, how living is the only cure for
anything that ails us. Quite frankly, like, we're sitting here
every day trying not to die, becoming and running a

(02:43):
business as a certified integrative cancer advisor, and being okay
with not being okay, And that is something that's really
hard for me. I struggle with that big time because
I fake it until I make it.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
I mean, that's just what I do. So, without further ado,
I'd like to introduce you to my guest today, Deb Career. Hello,
my love. The music from Hotlanta just showed up. I
know no so.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
Deb is an entrepreneur, cancer advocate, and founder of Trying
Not to Die dot Live, Live LIVEE Right.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
That's what we're trying to do.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
With over twenty years of experience in communications and marketing,
Deb now uses her professional expertise and personal journey as
a Stage four breast cancer survivor, amongst many other things
that she has survived to support others facing this horrible
beast that is cancer. As a certified Integrative Cancer Advisor,
she helps professionals lead with strength, resilience, and authenticity through

(03:42):
treatment and beyond. Her approach blends honesty, heart, and humor
to empower others to live fully, no matter what the diagnosis.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
So, all right, babe, I am rolling out the red
carpet for you.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
No humor, No, no, we don't do humor at all.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
We do not laugh.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
We do not have any fun around here, no matter
how about your feeling, forget it. So I'd like to
start with when you were diagnosed with stage four breast
cancer and then let's take it from there.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
So I was initially diagnosed stage zero. Then they changed
it to stage three, and then they went, oh crap,
it's actually stage four and stage four is considered not curable.
Now it may or may not kill me, may or
may not ever come back, but I have hit ready
the ten year mark, right, and ten years is a
really big deal. And so yeah, I mean somewhere right

(04:30):
around now was when I was initially diagnosed. And it
was kind of one of those because when I was
first told I had cancer, it was like, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
I have time for this.

Speaker 3 (04:39):
No, no, no, right.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
I told my doctor that.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
She looked at me like, well, honey, you have to
make time. And it was just it was rude, It
really was, because we don't ever think something like that
is going to happen. And the funny thing was, I
was actually diagnosed with stage four when I was in
the hospital trying to die, and they said, yeah, you know,

(05:03):
there's there's something else going on, and you know, we
did more fun tests and they said, yeah, you know,
let's let's just say stage four and and not deal
with this anymore. And so yeah, it was. It's been
a wild and really bumpy, but fun ride.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
No pun intended on the bumps, ladies, No pun intended.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
You know. I know I don't got those no more.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Squeeze squeeze them.

Speaker 4 (05:29):
So okay, So going from zero to four is very
fast when you're talking about cancer diagnosis, and I know
that you went through a ton of challenging treatments that
came with that, and you've dealt with kidney disease and
skin cancer.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
You about thy word stuff going on. Can you talk
a little bit more about what you're dealing with from
a chronic pain perspective that came from all of this
and what what what you are doing to basically try
to keep living.

Speaker 3 (05:51):
Yeah. So one of the drugs that I take is
a drug called let Resolve, and I take that because
it's it's a hormone supplement type ee thingy. And and
now I should be getting off of it later this
year because you only take it for ten years. And
you know when they say now may it cause yea yea, yeah, yeaha,
there's many a thousand things and them are going to

(06:13):
come out of your best. It says it will cause
bone pain and osteoporosis, and so it's like, well, gee,
that was fun. And and anybody I've ever talked to
who is on lunch result has said, yeah, the bone pain,
and it's it's your pelvic region, your lower back, sometimes
your thighs, it's the big bones. Right, So it's it

(06:34):
did cause osteoporosis. I now get Prola injections and and
the chronic pain. And then I as part of my treatment,
I developed septic shock. You know, that was part of
the gully almost tried to die thing. And it did
cause kidney kidney disease. Not we're not We're not going
to go towards kidney failure. It might at some point,

(06:57):
but and of course that's lower back also, right, and
so yeah, I mean it's just when I love it
when they say, so lindsay, what is your pain level
like when you've done something, and I tell them how
I understand. It's always there, you know, and and so
you know, when it spikes, that's when you know, oh crap. Now,
most of the time mine is like a one or two,

(07:18):
so just kind of like little nats right at It's there,
but I can ignore it, but then it will spike
and it will go up to you know, seven or eight.
I've done the the you know, on the one to
ten scale, I've done the fifteens, you know, and and
but you know, most of the time it is it's

(07:39):
just an annoyance and it's there, but it's it's kind
of this edge, right that is is always always there,
and and I'll realize, oh, wow, today was a really
good day. I didn't have to stop. But that's that's
not gonna happen very often.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
Yeah, they come fune far between.

Speaker 1 (07:56):
I know, with me, you would never guess by looking
at me or watching me go the way I go
around this house, and even if I'm in my wheelchair,
I'm going as.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
Fast as I possibly can. Throw laundry in the laundry basket.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
You know, I'm living I've always lived hard, I've always
lived fast, and this has slowed me down for sure,
and has pulled me away from being able to do
some of the many things that I love.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
But I have faith.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
I have days that I don't, but most of my
days are very hopeful or very faithful. What do you
do when you have those days where you're like, I'm out,
like I cannot handle this kind of pain and suffering anymore.
What do you do?

Speaker 3 (08:38):
Well, first, give yourself grace and know that you know
it's gonna happen. It's not anything you did. Now that said,
there are times where I have overdone you know, and
all of those things, but it's not like it's too
hard today. Yeah, yeah, you know you're not trying to
put yourself in pain. But yeah, so give yourself a
grace and then know, okay, here's what I need to do.

(09:01):
I need to do a full stop or I need
to back off, or I need to tell somebody, hey,
this isn't happening today, and that's okay to do that.
The worst things for me are when I am in
pain and I make the face right ah, and my
husband panics, you know, because he's been through all of
this with me, and he's.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Like, my he must be living in a state of
panic everything. Yeah, yeah, you know, and it's like I
just need.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
A little bit of time to myself, you know, and
that the cats know that. One of my dogs. It
was really funny. This was, you know, I was having
one of those nine days and he came and he
just laid on my chest. He does not do that,
and you know, and so there he was, and I thought, well,
this is very comforting and this is very sweet, but

(09:48):
I can't breathe.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
Right, And well, I've got my little Tawny. He is
my emotional support puppy. I swear to God, if a
tear is even thinking about coming out of my eye
and he's downstairs and I'm upset, that little weenie just
fucking comes to my rescue. He just knows, like and
and I love that about about animals in general. They're
so good for our well being and our health.

Speaker 3 (10:11):
Yeah. I was, you know, looking through Facebook, and I
like the Facebook memory section, right.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
And absoletely can't stand them.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
I knowl lately they're like I'm getting an email like
seventeen times a day about all of my dead dogs
and my ex husband.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
I know.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
I'm like, wow, thank you.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
And and and the nice thing is you can tell it. No,
I don't ever want to see this again. But it
reminded me that a year ago, yesterday, I had my
six kidney surgery and but what I had posted on
Facebook is the cat. So Misty was very concerned and
and so I have this picture and she's like right here,
and she kept just patting.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
I feel okay, hello, and you know, and it was.

Speaker 3 (10:54):
Very sweet and I was like, oh, I need to
trim your nails.

Speaker 1 (10:58):
But this part, this part has been and I'm dedicated
to all of the cat people that are in our lives.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yes, yes, you know, and the.

Speaker 3 (11:06):
Dogs right you know, they know, they know when something's
going on. But yeah, there was Misty, are you okay?

Speaker 2 (11:12):
Are you going to be able to feed me?

Speaker 1 (11:14):
And they do they do help us through certainly through
any emotional and pain and all of that, which is
part of giving my body some grace.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
Is straight up like I was.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
In the hospital, in and out for the past couple
of weeks, and so I've had to do some stuff
for my show that I've had to shift around. And
thank you to everybody that needed to work around my
schedule a little bit over the past two weeks, you
being one of them, So thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
But it's just it's been challenging.

Speaker 1 (11:39):
Where you're talking about what's your pain level at I'm like,
don't ask me anymore. Like it hasn't changed from the
moment I walked in here and from six hours later.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
That's not why I'm here right now.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
I'm here because I blacked out and I don't remember
at seven o'clock in the morning why I had a
headache that felt like a lightning bolt or someone hit
me on the back of the head and I hit
and then I was out cold, and so I went
through all the gams of tests and the spinal tap
that went awry.

Speaker 2 (12:03):
I just went like on and on and on.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
Here I am trying to get some time to rest right,
and it ends up being that it has to be
in a hospital.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
How RESTful hospitals.

Speaker 3 (12:13):
Are I know, which sometimes it is because you don't
have the critters and.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
You don't have the critters. You don't have your phone,
you don't have your laptop, you don't have a calendar.
You're just kind of laying there. And I had to
lay flat on my back, so I was looking up
at the ceiling the entire time, and I'm like, this
is the worst.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yes, but I have really good support.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
I have really good village of people that are around me,
and you do too, and I think that's part of
us getting through it too. So all right, let's move
into balancing the work world and the entrepreneurship and all
that through battling cancer. And I think this applies to
not just cancer, but I think this applies for anybody
that lives in chronic pain like myself, that is battling cancer,

(12:51):
that's battling whatever we're battling, because we're all battling something.
And you've come in and you've started to work as
an advisor to people, helping them continue to run their
businesses in the mess of their chaotic, cancerous life.

Speaker 2 (13:05):
Can you talk about that a little bit?

Speaker 3 (13:06):
Yeah? You know, so anytime we're told, hey, you have
a serious illness, we're like, no, I mean, like we
joked about it at the start. No, I'm sorry, I do.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
I have time for that.

Speaker 3 (13:14):
But if you're a business owner or a senior executive,
you're really thinking, oh my god, no, I have this business.
I have all these people and these clients and who
are relying on me, and YadA YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA,
YadA YadA, And what do you mean I have to
be gone every Thursday? I mean, you know, just all
of those things. And I can't talk to anybody about
it because they're going to think I'm weak. They're going

(13:34):
to think I can't run my company. You know, They're
going to take their business elsewhere, They're going to go
get another job, and I don't know what to do,
you know. And so that's where I can help, because
you know, I'm they can talk to me, and I'm
certainly not going to tell anybody what's going on. But
a lot of what I talked to about are simple,
basic business things that we don't always consider as a

(13:56):
business owner, Right, do you have a business continuity plan?
And if they look at me and well, what's it?

Speaker 2 (14:00):
I don't even continuity?

Speaker 3 (14:03):
Yeah, you know, and and yeah, and they're like huh
and and you know, and I got to temple at
all that good stuff. And of course they don't give
me that information because that's got their attorneys, that's got
their bank account. I mean, that's got all that stuff.
But you know, it's also you know, have you empowered
your employees? Do you know how to delegate? Which is
one of my biggest challenges, right, you know, And and

(14:25):
I tell them the thing is, these are going to
be things that that you will hopefully do for the
rest of the time you are are on this earth.
You know, wouldn't it be great to go on a
two week vacation and not have your employees contact you
in any way because they know what they're doing and
you trust them and you know, and and they're like,

(14:45):
I'm like, okay, if you don't trust your employees, that's
that's totally different, you know. And and and the big
thing is they also want to control the narrative, like
we were saying, you know, they don't want to talk
about it. But people are not stupid. You know, your
employees are going to go, well, you've coming in late
every day for several weeks and you look like, hell,
how about are you drinking? Right, They're going to come

(15:07):
up with things, of course, and so you want to
control that narrative by saying I'm going through something medical.
We don't really need to go into details, but I'm
you know, there's I'm going to be gone and I
need your help. And they will all say what do
we need to do? And you want them to have

(15:27):
the right information because we fill in the blanks with
the worst case scenario, right, you know, the oh wait
a minute, I think I saw them on that Coldplay video,
you know, or maybe that's what's going on right department
to come on. I know, I'm like, oh for heaven sex.
But but yeah, you know, we we make up the

(15:50):
absolute worst, you know, where we're we're going to say, hey,
why are you hiding? You must be having an affair? No,
you know, who knows what was She might have been
getting the Heimlich maneuver? Who knows? Right, Yeah, I need
a meme. I have to create a meme.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
There have so many memes these people.

Speaker 3 (16:09):
My favorite is you know, like how on LinkedIn you
can add that says open to work.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
Oh yeah, that's a good one.

Speaker 3 (16:19):
Make stuff up. So you want to control that narrative.
And you know, and and like I said, you don't
have to say I have this and this and this
and this and no going through something, you know, and
and you know, I've got a medical thing going on
right now and I'm going to need your help. And
there they will say what do we need to do?

Speaker 1 (16:39):
And that's where you help guide them three of the
processes of what they need to do and changes that
they can make, and and quite frankly, it might end
up making their businesses strong and because they will.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
Have healthier for them as well.

Speaker 3 (16:50):
Yes, you know, they're they've empowered their employees, they trust them.
You know, they figured out that where do we have
communication errors? And you know, just all sorts of things,
and they're going to look at Okay, what are my
sleep cycles, what are my you know, am I getting
enough exercise? What the heck am I eating? You know,
all of those things that, yeah, hopefully it does when

(17:10):
when they're done with this this battle, they come out stronger.
And you know, we all talk about surviving. No, yes,
we want to thrive, you know, and so you know,
what are we going to do to it to make
sure that we're thriving.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
I love that because surviving is hanging on in my mind.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah, and sometimes we're like that, right, Yeah, And you
know the all that stuff comes at us so hard,
and we do we look like shit, we feel like shit.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
Yes, thank you for noticing it.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
We know that, and that's really neat that you can
help help guide people specifically with cancer, not anything else.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
Right, that's where because that's in real hot.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
I mean, you know that the tactics and the thoughts
are the same. Right, as a business owner, we should
have a business continuity plan. I mean, hello, yes, I
mean all those sorts of stuff, but yeah, I focus
on cancer because that's me and I'm a business owner.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Yeah, and it would be hard for you to support
perhaps like me, like you've never experienced what CRFs feels like,
even though I still face the same challenges that you
face in my organization where I guess my was organization,
but my team, my biggest thing for sure was delegation.
But my team was pretty they were I'm I was
pretty glad, happy with the things that they were continuously

(18:23):
to do without me being around. They're like, well, I
know you're not responding to this, but I'm just letting
you know how things are going.

Speaker 3 (18:28):
I'm making the decision.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
Yeah, I'm doing it with or without you.

Speaker 1 (18:32):
And I think that that empowerment is good for any
kind of team, especially because you come from the marketing side.

Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah, they are. You've got a routy bunch of people.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
You've got creatives, you've got developers, You've got all these
different types of brains, and then working with your clients
who have all of these different types of teams as well.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
That's great. What a cool what a cool thing to
do and give back. Give pain focus, right, that's what
we're here for. Beyond.

Speaker 1 (18:54):
We're giving you purpose right here, everybody listening, We're giving
you purpose, no matter we're kind of paying. You're in
and I hope some of you are in pain because
it makes us feel less small. No, I don't wish
pain on anybody, but it is nice. It is nice
when you do hear other people talk about pain or
do because it doesn't make you feel like you're on
an island, and it doesn't mean we want you to

(19:15):
be in pain.

Speaker 2 (19:16):
It's just a good reminder that we're not all alone
in this world with it.

Speaker 3 (19:21):
And there's nothing that we did wrong. It's just there.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (19:27):
I feel like sometimes that's a tough one for me
because I'm like, somewhere along the road. Well, I've always
laughed before. We haven't talked about I had that. You know,
there were a couple of times, you know, one of
the times when I was really really sick in the
hospital and I was having to go in for I
don't know, surgery number ten, twelve, whatever one it was,

(19:48):
and there was a tear, there was a tear which
just about broke my husband's heart right And I looked
at him and I said, what did I do to
deserve this?

Speaker 3 (19:59):
You know? And and then you know, something kicked in
and went, no, you dumb ass, you didn't you know,
And and but and let's be honest. I mean, you know,
we're also talking to people who have smoked, who have
done some things that maybe weren't the wisest things in
the world. But we did not want to make ourselves sick,

(20:19):
you know. I mean, that's that's the thing. And you know, there,
you know, there there are things that would we have
done different. Sure, I would have exercised more, I would.

Speaker 5 (20:30):
Eat better, but you know, okay, whatever, Well, and even then,
I don't care who you are, no matter how healthy
you are, you get hit by something at some point
in life.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
It doesn't matter how hard you ran your life.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
Sometimes I feel like the people that ran their lives
hard like myself, Like we've got more immunities to like
some of the crazy crap that happens out there. For me.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
Mine is different. But it's it's it's one of those
things I tell my seedy, I always tell them.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
I feel like in one of my past lives, I
must have like raped and pillaged an entire village of
keeping somewhere Karbire.

Speaker 2 (21:05):
Somewhere in the past life. And this is me getting
it now.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
All right, So let's hitch out really quick about the
seven courageous steps to take when facing cancer.

Speaker 3 (21:17):
Oh Nacy, you should have warned me, because I'm going
to have to look.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
You're gonna have to look. And I did warn you,
young lady. You did, and then I promptly forgot.

Speaker 1 (21:24):
We've got a bunch of different things that we need
to do when we face any kind of diagnosis in
our lives. Right, you know, you've got to build your
battle plan with your physicians. You've got to say no
to a doctor that you don't like working with. You've
got to say I don't like your bedside manner, I
don't want to.

Speaker 2 (21:40):
Work with you.

Speaker 1 (21:41):
If you cannot handle the F word or you cannot
handle me crying on Q, then you're not the right
person for me. And I know that sounds stupid, but
I need to be able to be myself when I'm
speaking with anybody that's going to be helping me with
my world, my life, my body, my survival, all of
those things, you know.

Speaker 3 (21:58):
And through this I have definitely fired some of my doctors.
The first one hired, oh yeah, you know. The first
one was my primary care doc. I was like, no, dude,
the putts, and I mean, he couldn't handle it. He
he could not handle having to deal with a person
who had breast cancer. He immediately referred me out. And

(22:20):
you know, and but more importantly, when I was so sick,
I was in the hospital for seven weeks. His office
was across the street. He would have been getting updates
because he was my primary care doc. Do you think
he shuffled his little heiknee across the street to say, hey,
how you doing? No, no, you know, and and so yeah,
I mean it's like, what the what the heck, dude,

(22:44):
and so you know, it just it really was, you know,
I was not going to deal with him and you know,
and and and I love my primary care doc now
because she gets it. You know, she actually makes me
come for annual physicals twice a year because she wants
to keep tabs on me and you know, all of
those various things. And and so and then my surgeon

(23:07):
that that saved my life, I fired him. He had
the bedside manner of a gnat and you know, and
and it was just now, I am not going to
deal with him. And so and then I my first
breast cancer surgeon, I fired also because she did things
like I found out that my cancer had spread by

(23:28):
reading it in my online chart and and she blamed
the system and I said, no, you you say when
that information gets released. But more importantly, I had surgery
and I get home with drains. And anybody who has
ever had a drain, it is the weirdest, wonkiest thing
in the world. You have a t and it's draining

(23:48):
the ickys out of your body, right because they put
stuff in you and then you developed fluids, I mean
all this stuff and and it has this little thing
that looks like a little grenade. And I had this
hanging off of my body with z row instructions I'm like,
how do I shower? What do I do?

Speaker 2 (24:08):
Tubes hanging off of my body? These bulbs underneath that?

Speaker 3 (24:12):
Yes, and absolutely no instructions, and so what do I do?
YouTube right and found out because I was just going
to disconnect it, and YouTube's.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
Like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no,
don't use this zeb yes and yeah, and so you know.

Speaker 3 (24:25):
We figured all of that stuff out. But and so
when I went back to get it removed, I told her,
you know, I had no instructions, and she said, that's
my staff's responsibility. And I said, no, it is your
responsibility to make sure that your staff knows to do it,
and and she just and that was the last time

(24:47):
I saw her. I was like, no, uh uh no, no.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
But what I want I want to take away from
what you were just saying about advocating for ourselves.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
If you do not like your doctors, you do not like.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
The nurse, somebody different, say something and get there and
find somebody new that you are their client.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
Yes, okay, you are the person in charge. They are
not right.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
And that is something that took a long time for
me to understand because we're like, oh, well, they have
a degree on their wall. I have many degrees on
my walls, and someone should be MD's quite frankly. So
I'm over the white coat syndrome. I'm over all of that.
I want somebody that's going to work with me, that's
going to be part of the team. I want them
to go home and I want them to talk about
to their wife about me at dinner, to come up

(25:29):
with a solution for this poor girl's problem, right, like,
this is the reason you got into medicine, right, I
don't understand it now because right now I think a
lot of our redicate excuse me, a lot of our
practitioners are dealing with so much more paperwork and their
time is much more small that they can spend with us,
and all the I mean, our healthcare system here in
the United States is the stupid country is terrible right now,

(25:51):
and it has been for some time, no matter what administration,
it's always been bad. Right, So yeah, I mean it's
going to be bad under this one just because I
hate them so much, and you know, I don't talk
about politics on the show, but anyway, so I'm curious
to see if you have been courageous enough to find
those seven curations.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
Yeah, I didn't. I found all sorts of different ones, so.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
I got your fault.

Speaker 2 (26:11):
Literally, we talked about your seven courageous steps.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
All right.

Speaker 2 (26:14):
Number one, let's do it right now.

Speaker 3 (26:16):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (26:16):
Number one is be an advocate for yourself.

Speaker 3 (26:19):
Yes, you, as we said, you are in charge. And
if for some reason you can't be, then you need
somebody who is your spouse, your friend, your whoever.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
Yeah. Number two is have a sense of humor, would
you please? Okay, that's a good one.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
Number three is gonna be building your battle plan with
your physician.

Speaker 3 (26:39):
Right.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
I feel like that's courageous.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
And let me tell you why, because if you don't
open your mouth and you don't tell your physician, I
need a game plan like this is not I'm here
for pills or I'm here for my medication, or I'm
here for this, that and the other. I am here
for someone to actually give a crap about this conversation
that we're having and want to.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
Do something to help me. That's what I want, and
and some of it might be I'm not going to
do any of this, right, please tell me now? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (27:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
Number four, drink water.

Speaker 3 (27:09):
Yes, here's my giant cup in front of right.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
Yea, drink some water. Okay.

Speaker 1 (27:14):
Number five is gonna be uh eat anti inflammatory food,
which is incredibly courageous to do, by the way, because
a lot of antide inflammatory food and stuff I never
want to put in my mouth like I do.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
Not like Brussels sprouts.

Speaker 3 (27:28):
Oh no, I'm not gonna try. I'm not gonna eat
a Brussels sprout. There's not enough cheese to make.

Speaker 1 (27:33):
There's not enough anything to put on. I mean, you
could douse it in prosecco and I wouldn't eat it.
And everybody knows so much I love my broth.

Speaker 3 (27:39):
If you doused me and prosecco, maybe I'd eat the
Brussels sprout.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
But okay, okay, maybe I'd have to set you on
fire for you to eat the Brussels sprout.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
Oh my god. Okay, listen, and.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
Compassion and respect right is part of anything in any
patient interaction, and that means not just you, but also
to the doctor. Be respectful of them until yes, kind
of do the things that they've love that I'm making
up my own.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
Seven. We've got two more to go.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
So number six is going to be make somebody's day
every day. Don't make everybody's day every day. But we're
gonna make somebody's day every single day.

Speaker 3 (28:17):
Smile.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
That's say thank you.

Speaker 3 (28:19):
You know this stuff that we were taught in kindergarten.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
Open up a door for the person that's being pushing
an ivy poll.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
I don't know simple things.

Speaker 3 (28:30):
I know I'm the person in the infusion room going
around going can I get you anything? Can I get
you anything?

Speaker 2 (28:34):
That's exactly right? What can I do for you? What
can I do for you?

Speaker 1 (28:37):
Instead of what can I do for me? And that
is a flaw within my system and I know that
it is. I talk about it all the time on
the show that I'm always the last in the list.
And my sweety got upset with me this morning that
I was I'm like, but you just gave me seventeen
things to do by nine am.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
So who do you think is the problem or you?
And then seven? What are we making? Number seven? B?

Speaker 3 (29:00):
I don't know. I've lost track.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
I know where I'm at. I know what I wanted
to be.

Speaker 1 (29:04):
I want you guys to be a little bit more empathetic, yes,
because that is courageous as well, to cry, to be
an empop, to see love and others, to care for others.
And I don't know how you could not push through
pain without doing those seven things and not be feeling
a little bit better at the end of your day.

Speaker 3 (29:22):
Yeah, you know, and and you know we see this
on Facebook all the time. You never know what someone
else is dealing with. True, that's so true. I mean,
you know, And and that comes back to the smile,
say thank you, do all of that stuff, you know,
But it's it also comes back to what I said earlier,
give yourself that grace.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
You know, we're not now this.

Speaker 3 (29:44):
Are we ready? Are we ready? We're not perfect?

Speaker 2 (29:49):
I would perfect is boring.

Speaker 3 (29:51):
I know, who wants to be perfect for me?

Speaker 2 (29:53):
I want my house to.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
Look perfect, just because I want everythink people's facing out
on certain angles.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
But that's a whole different thing, right right, you know.

Speaker 3 (30:01):
But yeah, you know, it's it's okay to be having
a band. It's it's better to be having a good day.
But yeah, you know, things happen, and you know, but
remember we we really don't know what somebody else was
going through. And you know, you might have your smile
might have been a thing that stopped them from doing
something horrible and awful.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
Oh, I love that. That is wonderful. It is true.
I mean I try to put on my smile and
the sunshine wherever I go.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
I'm always like patting people on the bag, like don't
you look handsome, sir, you know, in the supermarket, and
he's like, and.

Speaker 2 (30:34):
It costs you nothing, nothing?

Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yes, that is our number seven. Thank you for doing
the list that you did not provide for us today. Yeah,
you will not make this mistake ever again, young lady.
But I think that it was fun to.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
Do it back you back and around.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
Oh my gosh, No, this has been really fun and
really great, and it's wonderful to always talk to people
that are thriving and not just surviving, because there it's
hard to find strong willed women that make it through.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
At least I thought so until I started the show.

Speaker 3 (31:07):
I've had more. You have wonderful guests.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
Thank you so much for spending time with me today.
We can find her all over the place. We can
find her on a Facebook group, she's on LinkedIn. Her
website is Trying Not to Die dot Live l i
v E. She also has a podcast that talks about
this business stuff, so The Business Power Hour with Deb
Career which is great, super fun and she's also do

(31:31):
you want to talk about wise women communications really quickly
before we hit the usty trail.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
I mean, you know it's I started it over twenty
years ago. It is a full service marketing firm and
we just have a ton of fun with it. It
pays the bills for me to do everything else, right.
But yeah, if anybody's looking for me, I think there's
three deb careers in the whole world. I am the
only one with this wacky red hair. That is you
know and so and and you know over probably fifteen

(31:57):
hundred podcasts. So I'm gonna come up pretty high if
you google dib career. Well, that's because your high is
the kite every.

Speaker 2 (32:04):
Day in my life. Yes, I don't even know where
that came from. I don't even know what it means.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
Well, before we hit the dusty trail here, is there
anything that you'd like to leave our listeners with?

Speaker 3 (32:14):
You know, I'm going to go back to what we
said before. You are in charge, and I don't care
what it is, but you are in charge. You're in
charge of your destiny, but you really are in charge
of your own health and make sure that you stay
in charge. You know, you might get yourself educated, do whatever,

(32:35):
but you're in charge, not the white coat, not the spouse,
not the boss, not the whoever.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
You are in charge.

Speaker 3 (32:41):
And if your decisions aren't what somebody else would do,
too bad, So sad that's their problem.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
Amen's sister. I love it. Thanks again for spending time
with us today. It has been.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
Levely to see you again and to have this Oh
thank you for the kisses and to have this conversation
with you.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
I hope that it touched some people that are here.
It certainly touched me.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
Thank you for our seven courageous steps that has been
That was actually the Boston the Fly.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
I mean, come on, we gotta do what we gotta
do here.

Speaker 1 (33:09):
I know, I know it's not like we're gonna stop
it because somebody didn't do their homework, but you know,
all right, well before we jam here, I have a
new bite sized extension of the Pain Game podcast called
pain Bites.

Speaker 2 (33:23):
So it's super simple.

Speaker 1 (33:25):
You go to Insta, you go to the bio, the
link and the bio and on there it says submit
your pain bite. You can hop in there and you
can literally leave a voice note for me and we
will put it on air. It is anonymous, so don't
worry about it if you don't want your name mentioned
or what have you. I talked a little bit about
the bite before we play it, and I talk a
little bit about it after.

Speaker 2 (33:43):
Give you love, give you hope, maybe laugh at you
a little bit. Who knows.

Speaker 1 (33:46):
But I want to know what's cracked you open this speech?
What sticks you back together? What I want your chaos,
I want what unravels you. I want your aches, I
want your pains, I want your joys, I want your excitement.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
I want all of it.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
Go to at the Pain Game Podcast on Insta, go
to the link in the bio, and it's easy, simple,
It'll take you two seconds to do. Because if it's
even for just a bite, it's worth being hurt. You
are exclusively invited to share this courageous vip pain journey together.
Let's get to the heart of how to heal with
you by my side. Please follow the Paying Game Podcast

(34:18):
wherever you digest your podcast content, we will be there.
Visit us at the Pain gamepodcast dot com and follow
us on all the socials.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
Thanks for listening to my little VIPs. Catch you on
the other side.
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