July 8, 2025 • 32 mins
Kathleen Judge is a financial advisor who helps women navigate the financial side of divorce with clarity, confidence, and purpose.
After stepping away from corporate life to raise her children, Kathleen faced her own unexpected divorce—a turning point that reshaped everything. Today, she brings both personal insight and professional expertise to help women align their money with meaning and rebuild thriving, secure futures.
Whether you’re newly separated or reinventing your life post-divorce, Kathleen offers a grounded, compassionate approach to financial planning during life transitions.
Follow & Contact Kathleen:
Instagram: kathleenjudgestl
edwardjones.com/kathleen-judge
kathleen.judge@edwardjones.com
314-856-9652
After stepping away from corporate life to raise her children, Kathleen faced her own unexpected divorce—a turning point that reshaped everything. Today, she brings both personal insight and professional expertise to help women align their money with meaning and rebuild thriving, secure futures.
Whether you’re newly separated or reinventing your life post-divorce, Kathleen offers a grounded, compassionate approach to financial planning during life transitions.
Follow & Contact Kathleen:
Instagram: kathleenjudgestl
edwardjones.com/kathleen-judge
kathleen.judge@edwardjones.com
314-856-9652
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Rewrite, a podcast about divorce, choice and
new beginnings. I'm your host, Wendy Sloan, former TV producer,
mom of two and one sweet golden retriever. This is
a space for real talk about the moments that break us,
the choices that define us, and the power we have
to begin again. You'll hear personal stories, heartfelt insights, and
(00:22):
honest conversations about healing relationships and reclaiming your life one
choice at a time. I'll be joined by experts in divorce, finance,
mental health, wellness and more and everything you need to
support your next chapter. The most powerful chapters might be
the ones you write next. Let's begin your rewrite together.
This episode is brought to in part by the Needle
(00:44):
Kuda Law Firm guidance that moves lives forward. Welcome to
the Rewrite today. I'm joined by Kathleen Judge. When I
first read her story, like so many others here, I
knew her story had to be shared. She stepped away
from a successful corporate career to raise her children and
later found herself navigating her own unexpected divorce, which then
became the calls for a new chapter, a new beginning
(01:06):
Joya May share her story her very own rewrite rooted
in purpose, resilience, and a desire to support others, which
I love so much, is everything that my show is.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Welcome, Kathleen Judge.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Oh, thank you so much. Wendy, I'm so honored to
be on this podcast. It is just so uplifting and positive,
and we need each other going through these difficult times
when you just you know, you're throwing a huge live
curveball and you can't see around the next corner. It's
(01:39):
just a wonderful time to lean in and find support
and people who care about you. And I feel like
your podcast just is all of those things. So thank
you for the work you're doing.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I really appreciate you saying that.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
And I hope people come here to find the space
so they know that they're not alone, yes, and that
we're all in this together, and hopefully they get to
look to the future and they get right and they
get to see their next journey, whether it's journey two, three, four,
or whatever it is, they get there.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
So let's start with your personal story.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
We're married for how long? And share with us that story.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Yeah, so we were married for seventeen years, and together
for five years before that. We actually met when I
was eighteen years old, and I was very much focused
on my career after we got married, got my bachelor's
(02:45):
degree and then my master's degree, really focusing in on marketing,
and I was in the nineteen nineties is when I
actually first started with Edward Jones, which is where I'm
at now, is Financial Advisor, and I was kind of
a digital pioneer, a digital marketing pioneer. There weren't very
(03:08):
many people doing digital marketing back in the nineties, but
I was, and so Edward Jones brought me on and
had me build their very first website, and it was
just such a great experience. You know, you get to
see all parts of the company come together in a website.
(03:30):
So in a very short time, I got a great
bird's eye view of the organization and I really fell
in love with it. Just really great people, really smart people.
And I know this sounds cheesy, and certainly Edward Jones
is by far from perfect, but I do feel like
I did then, and I still do feel like the
(03:52):
underlying you know, decisions are all made in the client's
best interests, and I don't know that all financial firms
can say that, and so I feel really proud to
be able to say that with confidence.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
That says a lot.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
So so you so you're so, you're in the you're
in the corporate world, and then you get married, you
have kids, but you clean your job.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Yes, So we after the website, after launching that, I
was still you know, doing digital marketing and we adopted
our twins from Ukraine and so of course that was
a long process and journey and so exciting, and I
(04:41):
wanted to just step back from the corporate world, not completely,
but just go down to I don't know, thirty hours
a week or twenty five hours a week. And at
that time it was all are done. So flexible work
arrangements were just not a thing back then, and.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
So it wasn't a thing back then. It just wasn't.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
It just wasn't. It wasn't an option. I asked, but
it's just they didn't do it. So thankfully there's a
lot more flexibility now. But what I did was so
I stepped away. We owned a construction company and so
I of course was raising the kids and doing all
(05:29):
the marketing for the construction company and helping with the
administration of that as well, and my kids they went
to kindergarten and it was a horrible experience for both
of them for different reasons. And in my mind, those
early grades the purpose is to develop a love of learning,
(05:54):
and both of them hated school at the end of kindergarten,
again for different reasons, and it just broke my heart.
It broke my husband's heart. And so we said, all right,
let's take the next year and all homeschool and find
another solution. And you know, I was at first, I
(06:16):
was just gobsmacked, Like I am no more a homeschooling
mom than an astronaut, Like that is just not part
of my makeup. But it was the right decision for
the kids. And so we did one year, and then
one year turned into two years, and then two years
turned into three, and pretty soon I had homeschooled the
(06:37):
kids from first through eighth grades.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Wow, who knows to you.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
That, I'll tell you it was definitely the hardest, the
hardest job I've ever had, and the worst paying job
that I've ever had, but so rewarding. Of course, I'm
really grateful that I had the opportunity to do that.
But then in twenty ten, I got divorced very unexpectedly,
(07:06):
and so here I was out of the job market
for probably going on, you know, twelve years, and that's
a big deal. When you're when you're in your early
to mid forties and you haven't been in the workforce
since you were in your early thirties, that is a
(07:26):
really big deal. And so you know, of course, I
was feeling overwhelmed.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
And back up to the when you're you got unexpected divorced?
Did you have any signs? Was there anything? Was it
like very sudden?
Speaker 2 (07:42):
It was?
Speaker 3 (07:43):
It was very sudden, And I know people tell me
there had to have been signs, and I look back,
I have just scoured my memory and I really didn't.
I really honestly didn't see any. And in fact, we
would talk about, we're so glad that we're not going
to get divorced, like our friends' parents were getting divorced,
(08:06):
and so yeah, I just didn't see it coming. And
and we at that time, even though I had from
the beginning of our marriage, even though I had the
interest and the aptitude to either handle all of our
(08:26):
finances or certainly have input, that just wasn't how our
marriage worked. And so my husband made all the financial decisions,
and I didn't realize Wendy at the time how much
power I was giving up. I really didn't. I did
not understand that. And now, of course I look back
(08:50):
and so many lessons learned, and I hope lessons that
other women can take away from this. When we divorced,
even we lived in a really big house, throve beautiful cars,
I ended up with nothing. So we had nothing, and
so I was starting over from scratch with literally zero
(09:16):
and I'm a single mom and haven't been in the
workforce for twelve years.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
So how old were the kids at this time.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Let's see, they were about twelve.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Scary, yeah, very scary. Yeah, you know, surprising, scary, sad,
just overwhelmed. I remember feeling like the earth had quaked
beneath me, Like literally, I felt like I had just
been through an earthquake. So I knew also that I
(09:50):
had to get it together. You know, here I was,
whatever circumstance, I was now responsible for myself and my
two children and our f finances, and I had to
pull it together. And my big fear at the time,
I don't know if you remember this, but do you
remember Chris Farley and he had a skit on Saturday
(10:12):
Night Live about living in a van down by the river.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
I can imagine.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
So funny, and I just like that would that would
run through my head, like, oh my gosh, my kids
and I are going to end up in a van
down by the river like Chris Farley. And of course
that's not what happened. I pulled it together, and I
knew deep down that I was fully capable of turning
things around. I mean, I you know, I've always been
(10:41):
very astute and adept with my finances, and so I
linked arms with a woman financial advisor that I really trusted,
and we put together a plan that had my priorities.
It was I mean, we just went one by one
(11:02):
and you know, she said, what are what are the
most important things to you? And we've put together a
plan to achieve those And it was amazing. I mean, Wendy,
within a year, I had my own home, Within two years,
I had a new car, and within three years I
(11:23):
was contributing to my kids five two nines for college.
So just going from this really what felt like helpless
situation into an incredibly empowered, you know, just a flip flop,
and it felt so great. To know that I could
(11:46):
do these things, I could do this, and my priorities, Actually,
they do make sense. They are good and they're worth
they're worth fighting for. And you know, now I look
back and again see the power that I gave up
by giving up our finances. And I'm so passionate about
helping women to really connect their wealth to the things
(12:13):
and the people that they care most about. Taking care
of themselves and others and their priorities are really important.
And honestly, when you connect a woman to the people
and things that she cares most about, entire communities can
be uplifted. It's just the potential is amazing.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
One of the smartest things I ever did after my divorce.
I didn't know it at the time, but I found
the right financial people. I mean I didn't know they
were the right financial but when I first got them,
but they became the right financial people.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
And if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be Ryan today.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
And I credit them all the time with just keeping
my back and know for my future.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Yes to me.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
So I love that you said that, and I love
that you like didn't let this get you down, that
you your two babies and you're like, I'm better than this.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
I can do this.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yeah, exactly, So you've turned what happened to you into
your rewrite. We're going to talk about that vern and
take a very quick break from one of our sponsors
for commercial, and you're right back, right back with Kathleen Judge.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
She's sharing her personal.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Story, her unexpected divorce and what she did after that.
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the rewrite with Kathleen Judge. Isn't it amazing how life
gives you something? And then it's not how you fallow,
(14:55):
it's how you stand up.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Right. That is so true, Wendy, It really is. And
you know, I can honestly say, I'll give more detail
about my story, but I am in such a better
place now than I was. And I really thought my
world was, you know, heading in a terrible direction, and
(15:16):
in fact it wasn't. It was you know, yeah, yeah,
and so yeah, it led me in a completely new
and different direction that I hadn't expected amazing.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
So you turned your next chapter, you found a financial
advisor that you could trust, and then you became one.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Yes, yes, it became my passion to help other women
in these kinds of similar situations where they are new
to managing their wealth, either from divorce or widowhood or
any other circumstance, where they find themselves overwhelmed and unsure.
(15:59):
And in fact, I work with couples as well, where
the h it's typically the husband has the strongest handle
on the finances, and I insist that she come in.
I won't accept. I won't even work with couples if
they're not both attending together, because it's so important to
(16:20):
have her voice heard and understood.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
What is your what is your advice for women out
there who are going through this? Yeah, so don't know
who don't have a handle on their finances? Who who
are their partner, their husband or vice versa. But right
now we're talking mostly about women that don't know about
their finances.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
Yes, it's such a great question, right, Yes, absolutely well,
And what I find, Wendy, is that a lot of women,
I mean the majority of women, if they do have
a relationship with a financial advisor, either themselves or their husbands.
(17:06):
Oftentimes they are being the financial advisor speaks over them,
doesn't listen to them, uses industry jargon, so they don't
understand and really marginalizes the woman's priorities. I've had so
many women in my office say, I cannot listen to
(17:29):
my financial advisor drone on and on and on anymore
about things that I don't care about. He hasn't even
asked me what I care about and what questions I have.
It's it's all about sort of what he has to
sell rather than what are my needs. And certainly this
(17:50):
is you know, that's a blanket statement. There are some
wonderful male and female financial advisors out there that are
not like that, but that's a very common situation. And
so and women are loyal, they they have you know,
they they have that attachment and oftentimes they don't want
(18:12):
to rock the boat, and so they stay in a
situation where their financial advisor is not really listening to
them and not helping them in the way that they
need to be. And so, you know, it's important in
that situation, Like I feel, I think we've all felt
(18:35):
marginalized before, right in some way, shape or form either
at work or school or in our families. And when women,
when we feel marginalized, what do we do? I mean,
like the what I think? I don't have all the answers,
but I think the most important thing is to stand
up and step back and say what is most important
(18:58):
to me? What are are my most important priorities in
this moment? And really then stay true to yourself. And
I know it's harder said than done. I get it.
I absolutely get it. I had a couple just a
few months ago come in. They had been with Second
(19:19):
Generation with a wealth management team, and they came in
because he was tired of the financial advisors talking only
to him, and of course she hated it, but he
realized that she's going to outlive him, Like, you know,
statistics are pretty clear women are going to outlive men
(19:42):
and they're in their fifties. And he's like, you know,
she needs to start getting prepared. We need to find
somebody that we're both comfortable with. And yeah, and I
just love that, you know, I just love that.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
And you being such a good role model for everybody
out there hearing your and what you did with your
story and also especially to your kids.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Yes, you know research. I have done lots and lots
of research around women and investing, and I have found
that women who are comfortable with their finances and managing
their finances typically have had some kind of role model
along the way. They had someone bring them under the
(20:24):
tent and teach them about how to save, how to invest,
how how to spend, and do so in a responsible way.
So as much as we can also turn around and
teach our children, those things were really setting them up
for the future.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Absolutely, So let's talk about some differences that to niqually
impact their finances planning women experiencing the difference of what
we need to learn.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Yes, yes, So one staggering statistic which just hurts my
heart is only twenty five percent of women are confident
making financial decisions. And that is an astonishing statistic. And
you know that's why my life's mission is to help
(21:17):
women and to help them to feel comfortable and confident
in their financial strategies. So, you know, it's really important
to look for those right people to surround yourself with,
like your podcast an uplifting place and uplifting advisors, your
(21:40):
divorce attorney. Make sure your divorce attorney is it's not
just your attorney, but your advocate. And if they're not,
find someone else. And the same with your financial advisor.
If you don't feel like they are your advocate, then
find someone who is is and find someone who is
(22:03):
willing to take the time to educate you about about
what's what's going on with your finances. And I find
that women often have a sense of shame around not knowing.
What they feel like is not knowing enough about finances
(22:23):
and investing and in actuality. Men don't either. You know,
There's there's no reason to feel shame around it because
I wouldn't know how to do surgery on myself. I
would I wouldn't know the first thing about running a podcast.
You know, we have professionals who specialize in these areas,
(22:44):
and so I feel like that's that's really important. There's
been another study which I just love this study. It's
it's a twenty twenty two New York Life study about
what drives satisfaction for women. I've talked a lot about,
you know, what drives women crazy and what is marginalizing
(23:06):
towards women, But the things that drive satisfaction for a
woman in her relationship with her financial advisor are really
kind of top three. First, or that her concerns are
taken seriously. That seems like a no brainer, right, but
it's not. Second is that she's treated like an equal
(23:30):
and actively listened to. She's not looked down upon. And third,
this one really surprised me. The third, you know, factor
that drives satisfaction is that she wants the person sitting
across the table from her who's asking the questions to
(23:52):
be able to relate to her situation. She wants she
wants someone who can be empathetic in her situation. And
I think that really surprised me. And yet it's also
like kind of, well, of course, that's what makes a
good advisor, right, somebody who can listen and understand and
(24:14):
then provide the right guidance. So I think those three
things are really important. And women also really want a holistic,
comprehensive financial relationship. So men can be more focused on
(24:35):
the investments and the investment returns, which, of course that's important,
and women look for that too, but women look for
more than that. They also want to know, Okay, how
I want to plan for paying for health care in
retirement as I age. I want a plan for mitigating
(24:57):
taxes now and the future during retirement. I want to
see how I can maximize my charitable giving with all
of those things coming into play. And then, of course,
then how am I going to pass this along? Some
women pass their wealth along to family or friends. Some
(25:19):
women choose to pass their wealth along while they're still
alive so they can see the impact that they've made
in their children's lives. And so that holistic approach is
really what women want, and that is where the industry
is headed. Interestingly enough, women are leading the charge on
(25:42):
innovation in the financial services industry. They're demanding it.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
I love hearing it, especially because more women are in
the workforce now.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Yes, and we're in the workforce now and raise our
kids and do it all because we can do it
all right right where it.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Used to be, you know, way better when it was like, okay,
they're the stay at home moms that and.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
That was that.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
But no, no, Now we should be able to be
able to go to work too if we want to
go to work, and we should be able to all
the time to take care of our children.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Let's talk about retirement.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Yes, yes, retirement. Women have some really unique challenges in
front of them for retirement for a number of reasons.
One is that we are often caregivers to our family members,
whether that's our children, our parents, our siblings, dear friends.
(26:41):
Women are the ones that typically take time out of
their careers to focus on helping loved ones. And we
saw that during COVID, right, I mean, how many women
left the workforce to try to help their kids get
through school. It was overwhelmingly the woman that stayed home,
(27:01):
that quit her job, that took a pause. And on
the surface, that doesn't seem like that big of a deal,
except that you take into consideration if she takes off.
In my case, I took off twelve years. But let's say,
you know, let's think about the pandemic, and a woman
(27:21):
takes off, say two or three years, of course that's
two or three years with no salary. And that's also
two or three years with no salary increase, and so
that increase compounds year after year after year. So by
the end of the third year and you've had no
raises your you know, your salary then is it's backwards.
(27:48):
And not just that, but typically the way that the
majority of people invests the majority of their money for
retirement is through their employer, and so if she's taking
several years out of work, that is several years of
(28:09):
investment that is not going into her four oh one
K and both her money and most employers have a match,
so she's also missing out on that match. And so
there and those things, like I said, compound over time.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Scary. So Kathleen, you got to rewrite your story.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Yes, you would not be doing what you're doing today
had it not been for you getting divorced.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Yes, absolutely, to this role and now.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
This is what you're this is, this is your this
is what your rewrite is. You're helping to to help
people live the most fulfilling life and know about their finances. Yes,
help their women find what you found.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Yes, absolutely, I mean I I know for sure I
would not be doing this if I were still married,
and I know for sure I would not feel as
empowered around my finances and I would not be able
to connect my finances with what's most important to me.
(29:19):
And you know, women deserve to lead lives of significance,
really caring for themselves and the people and causes they
care about most. So connecting a woman's wealth to the
things that she cares about the most is so critical,
and it's critical for her and for her family and
(29:41):
her friends. And like I said earlier, I truly believe
that that connecting those things can really impact and uplift
entire communities.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Yeah, I think it makes you.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
You know, you're you're more in when you're in charge
of your finances, you're more in charge of your whole life.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
Absolutely absolutely knowing.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
What you're doing and having someone that you trust makes
a huge difference.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Really love that you're out there.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Helping women, helping other women gain the confidence and the
strength that you have, because.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Well, thank you. It's such an honor to do this work,
and it's so rewarding to work with women and see
see them come along, just like I did, come along
and start to feel comfortable and feel confident with their strategies,
and they start to ask questions and have great ideas,
(30:35):
and it's it. I can't imagine anything more fulfilling.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
It's amazing. Your whole journey is amazing, your whole rewrite
is amazing. So there is happiness after. There is light
at the end of the tunnel. I mean it may
have not seen that at the very beginning, but you
got there.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Yes, absolutely, I mean really, at the beginning, I did not.
I didn't know where hope would come from. I just didn't.
And sure enough, little by little, this you know, this
passion developed in my heart and I was able to
follow it. And I would have never thought thirty years
(31:15):
ago that I would be a financial advisor working for
Edward Jones with my own practice and impacting so many
women's lives. And I just feel really grateful and honored
to be able to do this work.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
I think it's amazing. I love your rewrite story. I
love I love everything about it. And thank you for
sharing your story with us and for helping people and
reach out to Kathleen.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
She's been there where.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
You are and to know that there is there is
life after you'll get there.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
There's beautiful life after sure, Kathleen. Oh, thank you, Wendy.
Have such a pleasure to be on your show. And
and just a hello to all your listeners.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
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two three, five, five seven nine to five zero zero
Welcome to the Rewrite, a podcast about divorce, choice and
new beginnings. I'm your host, Wendy Sloan, former TV producer,
mom of two and one sweet golden retriever. This is
a space for real talk about the moments that break us,
the choices that define us, and the power we have
to begin again. You'll hear personal stories, heartfelt insights, and
(00:22):
honest conversations about healing relationships and reclaiming your life one
choice at a time. I'll be joined by experts in divorce, finance,
mental health, wellness and more and everything you need to
support your next chapter. The most powerful chapters might be
the ones you write next. Let's begin your rewrite together.
This episode is brought to in part by the Needle
(00:44):
Kuda Law Firm guidance that moves lives forward. Welcome to
the Rewrite today. I'm joined by Kathleen Judge. When I
first read her story, like so many others here, I
knew her story had to be shared. She stepped away
from a successful corporate career to raise her children and
later found herself navigating her own unexpected divorce, which then
became the calls for a new chapter, a new beginning
(01:06):
Joya May share her story her very own rewrite rooted
in purpose, resilience, and a desire to support others, which
I love so much, is everything that my show is.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Welcome, Kathleen Judge.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Oh, thank you so much. Wendy, I'm so honored to
be on this podcast. It is just so uplifting and positive,
and we need each other going through these difficult times
when you just you know, you're throwing a huge live
curveball and you can't see around the next corner. It's
(01:39):
just a wonderful time to lean in and find support
and people who care about you. And I feel like
your podcast just is all of those things. So thank
you for the work you're doing.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I really appreciate you saying that.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
And I hope people come here to find the space
so they know that they're not alone, yes, and that
we're all in this together, and hopefully they get to
look to the future and they get right and they
get to see their next journey, whether it's journey two, three, four,
or whatever it is, they get there.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
So let's start with your personal story.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
We're married for how long? And share with us that story.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Yeah, so we were married for seventeen years, and together
for five years before that. We actually met when I
was eighteen years old, and I was very much focused
on my career after we got married, got my bachelor's
(02:45):
degree and then my master's degree, really focusing in on marketing,
and I was in the nineteen nineties is when I
actually first started with Edward Jones, which is where I'm
at now, is Financial Advisor, and I was kind of
a digital pioneer, a digital marketing pioneer. There weren't very
(03:08):
many people doing digital marketing back in the nineties, but
I was, and so Edward Jones brought me on and
had me build their very first website, and it was
just such a great experience. You know, you get to
see all parts of the company come together in a website.
(03:30):
So in a very short time, I got a great
bird's eye view of the organization and I really fell
in love with it. Just really great people, really smart people.
And I know this sounds cheesy, and certainly Edward Jones
is by far from perfect, but I do feel like
I did then, and I still do feel like the
(03:52):
underlying you know, decisions are all made in the client's
best interests, and I don't know that all financial firms
can say that, and so I feel really proud to
be able to say that with confidence.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
That says a lot.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
So so you so you're so, you're in the you're
in the corporate world, and then you get married, you
have kids, but you clean your job.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Yes, So we after the website, after launching that, I
was still you know, doing digital marketing and we adopted
our twins from Ukraine and so of course that was
a long process and journey and so exciting, and I
(04:41):
wanted to just step back from the corporate world, not completely,
but just go down to I don't know, thirty hours
a week or twenty five hours a week. And at
that time it was all are done. So flexible work
arrangements were just not a thing back then, and.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
So it wasn't a thing back then. It just wasn't.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
It just wasn't. It wasn't an option. I asked, but
it's just they didn't do it. So thankfully there's a
lot more flexibility now. But what I did was so
I stepped away. We owned a construction company and so
I of course was raising the kids and doing all
(05:29):
the marketing for the construction company and helping with the
administration of that as well, and my kids they went
to kindergarten and it was a horrible experience for both
of them for different reasons. And in my mind, those
early grades the purpose is to develop a love of learning,
(05:54):
and both of them hated school at the end of kindergarten,
again for different reasons, and it just broke my heart.
It broke my husband's heart. And so we said, all right,
let's take the next year and all homeschool and find
another solution. And you know, I was at first, I
(06:16):
was just gobsmacked, Like I am no more a homeschooling
mom than an astronaut, Like that is just not part
of my makeup. But it was the right decision for
the kids. And so we did one year, and then
one year turned into two years, and then two years
turned into three, and pretty soon I had homeschooled the
(06:37):
kids from first through eighth grades.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Wow, who knows to you.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
That, I'll tell you it was definitely the hardest, the
hardest job I've ever had, and the worst paying job
that I've ever had, but so rewarding. Of course, I'm
really grateful that I had the opportunity to do that.
But then in twenty ten, I got divorced very unexpectedly,
(07:06):
and so here I was out of the job market
for probably going on, you know, twelve years, and that's
a big deal. When you're when you're in your early
to mid forties and you haven't been in the workforce
since you were in your early thirties, that is a
(07:26):
really big deal. And so you know, of course, I
was feeling overwhelmed.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
And back up to the when you're you got unexpected divorced?
Did you have any signs? Was there anything? Was it
like very sudden?
Speaker 2 (07:42):
It was?
Speaker 3 (07:43):
It was very sudden, And I know people tell me
there had to have been signs, and I look back,
I have just scoured my memory and I really didn't.
I really honestly didn't see any. And in fact, we
would talk about, we're so glad that we're not going
to get divorced, like our friends' parents were getting divorced,
(08:06):
and so yeah, I just didn't see it coming. And
and we at that time, even though I had from
the beginning of our marriage, even though I had the
interest and the aptitude to either handle all of our
(08:26):
finances or certainly have input, that just wasn't how our
marriage worked. And so my husband made all the financial decisions,
and I didn't realize Wendy at the time how much
power I was giving up. I really didn't. I did
not understand that. And now, of course I look back
(08:50):
and so many lessons learned, and I hope lessons that
other women can take away from this. When we divorced,
even we lived in a really big house, throve beautiful cars,
I ended up with nothing. So we had nothing, and
so I was starting over from scratch with literally zero
(09:16):
and I'm a single mom and haven't been in the
workforce for twelve years.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
So how old were the kids at this time.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Let's see, they were about twelve.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Scary, yeah, very scary. Yeah, you know, surprising, scary, sad,
just overwhelmed. I remember feeling like the earth had quaked
beneath me, Like literally, I felt like I had just
been through an earthquake. So I knew also that I
(09:50):
had to get it together. You know, here I was,
whatever circumstance, I was now responsible for myself and my
two children and our f finances, and I had to
pull it together. And my big fear at the time,
I don't know if you remember this, but do you
remember Chris Farley and he had a skit on Saturday
(10:12):
Night Live about living in a van down by the river.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
I can imagine.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
So funny, and I just like that would that would
run through my head, like, oh my gosh, my kids
and I are going to end up in a van
down by the river like Chris Farley. And of course
that's not what happened. I pulled it together, and I
knew deep down that I was fully capable of turning
things around. I mean, I you know, I've always been
(10:41):
very astute and adept with my finances, and so I
linked arms with a woman financial advisor that I really trusted,
and we put together a plan that had my priorities.
It was I mean, we just went one by one
(11:02):
and you know, she said, what are what are the
most important things to you? And we've put together a
plan to achieve those And it was amazing. I mean, Wendy,
within a year, I had my own home, Within two years,
I had a new car, and within three years I
(11:23):
was contributing to my kids five two nines for college.
So just going from this really what felt like helpless
situation into an incredibly empowered, you know, just a flip flop,
and it felt so great. To know that I could
(11:46):
do these things, I could do this, and my priorities, Actually,
they do make sense. They are good and they're worth
they're worth fighting for. And you know, now I look
back and again see the power that I gave up
by giving up our finances. And I'm so passionate about
helping women to really connect their wealth to the things
(12:13):
and the people that they care most about. Taking care
of themselves and others and their priorities are really important.
And honestly, when you connect a woman to the people
and things that she cares most about, entire communities can
be uplifted. It's just the potential is amazing.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
One of the smartest things I ever did after my divorce.
I didn't know it at the time, but I found
the right financial people. I mean I didn't know they
were the right financial but when I first got them,
but they became the right financial people.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
And if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be Ryan today.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
And I credit them all the time with just keeping
my back and know for my future.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Yes to me.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
So I love that you said that, and I love
that you like didn't let this get you down, that
you your two babies and you're like, I'm better than this.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
I can do this.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yeah, exactly, So you've turned what happened to you into
your rewrite. We're going to talk about that vern and
take a very quick break from one of our sponsors
for commercial, and you're right back, right back with Kathleen Judge.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
She's sharing her personal.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Story, her unexpected divorce and what she did after that.
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your finances and build lasting financial stability. We're back with
the rewrite with Kathleen Judge. Isn't it amazing how life
gives you something? And then it's not how you fallow,
(14:55):
it's how you stand up.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Right. That is so true, Wendy, It really is. And
you know, I can honestly say, I'll give more detail
about my story, but I am in such a better
place now than I was. And I really thought my
world was, you know, heading in a terrible direction, and
(15:16):
in fact it wasn't. It was you know, yeah, yeah,
and so yeah, it led me in a completely new
and different direction that I hadn't expected amazing.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
So you turned your next chapter, you found a financial
advisor that you could trust, and then you became one.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Yes, yes, it became my passion to help other women
in these kinds of similar situations where they are new
to managing their wealth, either from divorce or widowhood or
any other circumstance, where they find themselves overwhelmed and unsure.
(15:59):
And in fact, I work with couples as well, where
the h it's typically the husband has the strongest handle
on the finances, and I insist that she come in.
I won't accept. I won't even work with couples if
they're not both attending together, because it's so important to
(16:20):
have her voice heard and understood.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
What is your what is your advice for women out
there who are going through this? Yeah, so don't know
who don't have a handle on their finances? Who who
are their partner, their husband or vice versa. But right
now we're talking mostly about women that don't know about
their finances.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
Yes, it's such a great question, right, Yes, absolutely well,
And what I find, Wendy, is that a lot of women,
I mean the majority of women, if they do have
a relationship with a financial advisor, either themselves or their husbands.
(17:06):
Oftentimes they are being the financial advisor speaks over them,
doesn't listen to them, uses industry jargon, so they don't
understand and really marginalizes the woman's priorities. I've had so
many women in my office say, I cannot listen to
(17:29):
my financial advisor drone on and on and on anymore
about things that I don't care about. He hasn't even
asked me what I care about and what questions I have.
It's it's all about sort of what he has to
sell rather than what are my needs. And certainly this
(17:50):
is you know, that's a blanket statement. There are some
wonderful male and female financial advisors out there that are
not like that, but that's a very common situation. And
so and women are loyal, they they have you know,
they they have that attachment and oftentimes they don't want
(18:12):
to rock the boat, and so they stay in a
situation where their financial advisor is not really listening to
them and not helping them in the way that they
need to be. And so, you know, it's important in
that situation, Like I feel, I think we've all felt
(18:35):
marginalized before, right in some way, shape or form either
at work or school or in our families. And when women,
when we feel marginalized, what do we do? I mean,
like the what I think? I don't have all the answers,
but I think the most important thing is to stand
up and step back and say what is most important
(18:58):
to me? What are are my most important priorities in
this moment? And really then stay true to yourself. And
I know it's harder said than done. I get it.
I absolutely get it. I had a couple just a
few months ago come in. They had been with Second
(19:19):
Generation with a wealth management team, and they came in
because he was tired of the financial advisors talking only
to him, and of course she hated it, but he
realized that she's going to outlive him, Like, you know,
statistics are pretty clear women are going to outlive men
(19:42):
and they're in their fifties. And he's like, you know,
she needs to start getting prepared. We need to find
somebody that we're both comfortable with. And yeah, and I
just love that, you know, I just love that.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
And you being such a good role model for everybody
out there hearing your and what you did with your
story and also especially to your kids.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Yes, you know research. I have done lots and lots
of research around women and investing, and I have found
that women who are comfortable with their finances and managing
their finances typically have had some kind of role model
along the way. They had someone bring them under the
(20:24):
tent and teach them about how to save, how to invest,
how how to spend, and do so in a responsible way.
So as much as we can also turn around and
teach our children, those things were really setting them up
for the future.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Absolutely, So let's talk about some differences that to niqually
impact their finances planning women experiencing the difference of what
we need to learn.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Yes, yes, So one staggering statistic which just hurts my
heart is only twenty five percent of women are confident
making financial decisions. And that is an astonishing statistic. And
you know that's why my life's mission is to help
(21:17):
women and to help them to feel comfortable and confident
in their financial strategies. So, you know, it's really important
to look for those right people to surround yourself with,
like your podcast an uplifting place and uplifting advisors, your
(21:40):
divorce attorney. Make sure your divorce attorney is it's not
just your attorney, but your advocate. And if they're not,
find someone else. And the same with your financial advisor.
If you don't feel like they are your advocate, then
find someone who is is and find someone who is
(22:03):
willing to take the time to educate you about about
what's what's going on with your finances. And I find
that women often have a sense of shame around not knowing.
What they feel like is not knowing enough about finances
(22:23):
and investing and in actuality. Men don't either. You know,
There's there's no reason to feel shame around it because
I wouldn't know how to do surgery on myself. I
would I wouldn't know the first thing about running a podcast.
You know, we have professionals who specialize in these areas,
(22:44):
and so I feel like that's that's really important. There's
been another study which I just love this study. It's
it's a twenty twenty two New York Life study about
what drives satisfaction for women. I've talked a lot about,
you know, what drives women crazy and what is marginalizing
(23:06):
towards women, But the things that drive satisfaction for a
woman in her relationship with her financial advisor are really
kind of top three. First, or that her concerns are
taken seriously. That seems like a no brainer, right, but
it's not. Second is that she's treated like an equal
(23:30):
and actively listened to. She's not looked down upon. And third,
this one really surprised me. The third, you know, factor
that drives satisfaction is that she wants the person sitting
across the table from her who's asking the questions to
(23:52):
be able to relate to her situation. She wants she
wants someone who can be empathetic in her situation. And
I think that really surprised me. And yet it's also
like kind of, well, of course, that's what makes a
good advisor, right, somebody who can listen and understand and
(24:14):
then provide the right guidance. So I think those three
things are really important. And women also really want a holistic,
comprehensive financial relationship. So men can be more focused on
(24:35):
the investments and the investment returns, which, of course that's important,
and women look for that too, but women look for
more than that. They also want to know, Okay, how
I want to plan for paying for health care in
retirement as I age. I want a plan for mitigating
(24:57):
taxes now and the future during retirement. I want to
see how I can maximize my charitable giving with all
of those things coming into play. And then, of course,
then how am I going to pass this along? Some
women pass their wealth along to family or friends. Some
(25:19):
women choose to pass their wealth along while they're still
alive so they can see the impact that they've made
in their children's lives. And so that holistic approach is
really what women want, and that is where the industry
is headed. Interestingly enough, women are leading the charge on
(25:42):
innovation in the financial services industry. They're demanding it.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
I love hearing it, especially because more women are in
the workforce now.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Yes, and we're in the workforce now and raise our
kids and do it all because we can do it
all right right where it.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Used to be, you know, way better when it was like, okay,
they're the stay at home moms that and.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
That was that.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
But no, no, Now we should be able to be
able to go to work too if we want to
go to work, and we should be able to all
the time to take care of our children.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Let's talk about retirement.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Yes, yes, retirement. Women have some really unique challenges in
front of them for retirement for a number of reasons.
One is that we are often caregivers to our family members,
whether that's our children, our parents, our siblings, dear friends.
(26:41):
Women are the ones that typically take time out of
their careers to focus on helping loved ones. And we
saw that during COVID, right, I mean, how many women
left the workforce to try to help their kids get
through school. It was overwhelmingly the woman that stayed home,
(27:01):
that quit her job, that took a pause. And on
the surface, that doesn't seem like that big of a deal,
except that you take into consideration if she takes off.
In my case, I took off twelve years. But let's say,
you know, let's think about the pandemic, and a woman
(27:21):
takes off, say two or three years, of course that's
two or three years with no salary. And that's also
two or three years with no salary increase, and so
that increase compounds year after year after year. So by
the end of the third year and you've had no
raises your you know, your salary then is it's backwards.
(27:48):
And not just that, but typically the way that the
majority of people invests the majority of their money for
retirement is through their employer, and so if she's taking
several years out of work, that is several years of
(28:09):
investment that is not going into her four oh one
K and both her money and most employers have a match,
so she's also missing out on that match. And so
there and those things, like I said, compound over time.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Scary. So Kathleen, you got to rewrite your story.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Yes, you would not be doing what you're doing today
had it not been for you getting divorced.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Yes, absolutely, to this role and now.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
This is what you're this is, this is your this
is what your rewrite is. You're helping to to help
people live the most fulfilling life and know about their finances. Yes,
help their women find what you found.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Yes, absolutely, I mean I I know for sure I
would not be doing this if I were still married,
and I know for sure I would not feel as
empowered around my finances and I would not be able
to connect my finances with what's most important to me.
(29:19):
And you know, women deserve to lead lives of significance,
really caring for themselves and the people and causes they
care about most. So connecting a woman's wealth to the
things that she cares about the most is so critical,
and it's critical for her and for her family and
(29:41):
her friends. And like I said earlier, I truly believe
that that connecting those things can really impact and uplift
entire communities.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Yeah, I think it makes you.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
You know, you're you're more in when you're in charge
of your finances, you're more in charge of your whole life.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
Absolutely absolutely knowing.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
What you're doing and having someone that you trust makes
a huge difference.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Really love that you're out there.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Helping women, helping other women gain the confidence and the
strength that you have, because.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Well, thank you. It's such an honor to do this work,
and it's so rewarding to work with women and see
see them come along, just like I did, come along
and start to feel comfortable and feel confident with their strategies,
and they start to ask questions and have great ideas,
(30:35):
and it's it. I can't imagine anything more fulfilling.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
It's amazing. Your whole journey is amazing, your whole rewrite
is amazing. So there is happiness after. There is light
at the end of the tunnel. I mean it may
have not seen that at the very beginning, but you
got there.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Yes, absolutely, I mean really, at the beginning, I did not.
I didn't know where hope would come from. I just didn't.
And sure enough, little by little, this you know, this
passion developed in my heart and I was able to
follow it. And I would have never thought thirty years
(31:15):
ago that I would be a financial advisor working for
Edward Jones with my own practice and impacting so many
women's lives. And I just feel really grateful and honored
to be able to do this work.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
I think it's amazing. I love your rewrite story. I
love I love everything about it. And thank you for
sharing your story with us and for helping people and
reach out to Kathleen.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
She's been there where.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
You are and to know that there is there is
life after you'll get there.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
There's beautiful life after sure, Kathleen. Oh, thank you, Wendy.
Have such a pleasure to be on your show. And
and just a hello to all your listeners.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Needlecuda Divorce and Family Laws attorneys have guided Connecticut and
New York families through complex divorce actions, contested child custody,
and alimony disputes for over thirty years. Their Connecticut and
New York attorneys have extensive experience in family matters involving
substance abuse, domestic violence, mental illness, and many other X
factors that can complicate a divorce. Their attorneys adeptly manage
(32:25):
privacy and reputation concerns inherit to public divorce proceedings and
the related exposure for their ultra high net worth clients.
Find your new path forward, define your post divorce family,
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behind you. Visit them at Needlecuda dot com or call
(32:47):
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