Finding Your Service Sweet Spot: Discovering How YOU Are Called to Give Back | Mindset Monday - The Season of Self Love

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What have you been trying to serve in ways that
were never meant for you. What if the pressure that
you feel to volunteer here and donate there, and show
up everywhere, what if that's draining you or drowning out
the quiet voices telling you how you are actually called

(00:21):
to give back. Well, welcome to the Season of Self
Love Podcast. I am Naomi, and today we are getting
clear on your service speet spot. You know that place
where your gifts meet, the world needs, and magic happens. Well,
let's find out together. Welcome to the season of Self
Love podcast, the Season of Healing Intentionally. I am your host,

(00:45):
Naomi Banks, and I am so glad that you are here.
This season, we are slowing down to go deeper. Every
Monday and Wednesday, We're creating a space of intentional healing,
authentic conversations, and the kind of self love that transformed
from the inside out. This podcast is brought to you

(01:06):
by Axs, Naomi and Elevate Me Self Discovery. Well, we
believe that loving yourself intentionally is a foundation of true transformation.
So whether you're on your own journey of rebirth navigating
life transitions, was simply choosing yourself this is your safe space,

(01:26):
So get comfort, grab your favorite beverage, and let's heal
together intentionally because you've deserved to embrace that beautiful person
that you are. Now let's get started, all right, my
beautiful people, Welcome back to this season and self Love podcast.
I'm your host, Naomi. Thanks, and this is our month

(01:48):
series of giving back, of giving back. We have an amazing,
amazing conversation today to talk about that we are going
to talk about before we get into this topic. Let's
go ahead and take this really really quick break just
to do a little average, and then we're going to
be back. All right, it's your gritty God is not everybody.
It's here on this season and stuff my podcast, and
we'll be right back.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Washington wells into two focuses on healing. Always for me,
if I look good, then I feel good. If I
feel good, then I share the good. If I share
the good, then I celebrate the good. If I celebrate
the good, then I live the good. So I can
be paid to be my greatest. But I have to
learn the good to be the good.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
So what does it take to be the greatest.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
It's as simple as a free fifteen minute consultation, be
kind to yourself and he'll always.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
I write, been beautiful people as we continue to heal. Always,
let's ground ourselves before we get into this topic and
handle right. So wherever you add that this moment in
time and you feel comfortable to do so, please close
your eyes and let's take this moment before we get
deep into this kind in this conversation. All right, take
a deep breath in through your nose and release this

(03:07):
slowly through your mouth. Now, let's do that again. Let's
breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth. Now.
I want you to place both of your hands on
your heart, feel that connection to yourself, to your truth,

(03:30):
to your gifts. Now, I want you to ask yourself
some questions. Don't overthink them, just notice them when what
bubbles up? Right? First question, what lights me up? What
comes natural to me? So natural that I sometimes forget

(03:51):
that it's a gift? Now? What do people always think
me for? I want you to just notice what's coming up.
Don't judge it, and don't dismissive as it's not important

(04:13):
enough or it's too simple. But I just want you
to notice it now. Now, I want you to imagine
your unique gifts as seeds planet deep in your soul.
Some of them are already in full bloom. Maybe it's
your voice, Maybe it's your story. Maybe it's your creativity.

(04:37):
Maybe it's your ability to make people feel seen. Others
are just beginning to sprout, emerging gifts that you're still
discovering and still learning to share. But all of them,
every single seed, is meant to be shared, not hoarded, hidden,

(05:02):
but share. But here's what I want you to understand
is that you don't have to be everything to everyone.
You don't have to bloom in every season or grow
in every direction. You just have to be authentically you,

(05:23):
offering what only you can give. Now, for these next breaths,
I want you to breathe in clarity, and I want
to let that to feel your lungs, your hearts, and
your mind. And then I want you to breathe out comparison.
I want you to release the pressure to serve like

(05:46):
anyone else. Your service is unique to you and that's
not just okay, it's perfect. I take one more deeper then,
and when you are ready, really open your eyes. All right,

(06:11):
my beautiful people, Well happen Monday to all of you,
and welcome back to this season and Self Love podcast here.
If you were with us last week, you know, we
kicked off November talking about giving back is the ultimate
act of self love, and if you miss it, I
want you to go back and listen because it says

(06:33):
the foundation of everything that we're building this month. But today,
today we're going deeper because here's what I've learned. Not
everyone is called to serve in the same way. And
that's not just okay, it is by design. So let
me tell you about my own journey with this. You know,

(06:55):
I host several different podcasts. I host act NNRY Bridging
the Gap, I host this one this season and self
Love and I have a jury line, makeup line, I
plan events. I have a cap for Women Health and Healing.
I am a Certified Relationship Sex and Love COLT. I
create content for TikTok and Instagram. My host space for

(07:17):
women going through xpect Drury, and I'll go ABCD. When
you look at it from the outside, it might look
like I do a lot, and maybe I am. But
here's the thing. Every single one of those expressions of
service is rooted in my gifts. It's rooted in my gifts.

(07:39):
They all flow from the same source, my calling to
create spaces where women can heal, where they can be seen,
where men can heal, where they can be seen and
they can remember who they are. My service doesn't look

(07:59):
like my mother's service. It doesn't look like my best
friend's service. It doesn't look like the influences service that
I see online. What it does, it looks like mine,
and yours will look like yours. So today I want
to give you permission. Okay, no, no, I want to

(08:19):
help encourage you to give your self permission to serve
in ways that align with your gifts. Not what you
think you should be doing, and not what looks impressed,
but what actually flows from your soul. Because when you
find when you find your service sweet spot, that intersection

(08:46):
is where your natural gifts needs in the world needs it.
That's what service stops feeling like an obligation and it
starts feeling like expression. So let's figure out what that
looks like for you. So what I want to do
before I get into this, I want to share something
with all of you right now. You know I am
very candid, and I am very real and authentic in

(09:08):
our conversations here, and let me tell y'all something. This
is my second time recording this whole thing. The very
first time that I recorded, evidently my board was not connected.
And so I did a whole fifty eight minutes of
the show, and there was not a sound that came out.

(09:33):
There was not a sound that I was going to edit.
There was not a sound that came out. And I said,
and I looked at it, and I said, what is
the lesson that I'm getting? What is happening here? And
you know, and I thought it was funny. I was like, Wow,

(09:54):
Am I am I supposed to? Am I supposed to
do this episode? Supposed to do this episode? And I said,
did I go off of script? Or did did I
say something I wasn't supposed to say? Was it something
that was not aligned with me? Or what I'm not
supposed to say about this? I said, wow. But when

(10:16):
I finished it, When I finished that that episode, it
was amazing, y'all. I don't even know if I'm gonna
come back with the same energy for it. Honestly, let
me be real, I don't know if I'm supposed to
come back for that energy for that. Maybe that episode
was only supposed to be for me in me doing it,

(10:37):
And I know you're like, really, Naomi, Yeah, I had
I When I say I have to look at it
that way, I have to because as I am talking
about this and I'm telling you all about giving back,
I'm talking about us being in service to others. And

(10:57):
when I say this right now in real time, maybe
that that was myself being in service to myself. Maybe
that's the understanding that not only am I writing these things,
but I need to listen to them. Yes I'm speaking them,
but sometimes I need to sit into the listening form
and understand what that looks like for me. So when
I'm talking with you all, I'm talking to myself, and

(11:20):
I just got to be honest. Sometimes it misses me,
m sometimes it misses me, But in this conversation it
did not miss It ain't missing because I do truly
understand it, and I truly know how important it is
for you to truly have your unique voice and for

(11:43):
you to be in service the only way you know how,
and that's for you, not like me, not like another influencer,
not like somebody else that you admire, but your own voice.
It's good to be influenced by them, But you still
have to figure out what is your thing, what is

(12:06):
your sweet spot, what is that thing that makes you
uniquely you, that makes you uniquely you. So the first
thing that I want to share with you is what
the different form of services are. All right, the different
forms of services are. So I want to expand on
that understanding what service even means, because I think sometimes

(12:30):
we have this narrow definition like service has to be
voluntary at a soup kitchen or writing a big check
to a cherry. And while those are all beautiful forms
of service, they're not the only forms. So let me
break this down to you in five different ways that
you can serve, that you can serve, and I want

(12:52):
you to notice which ones resonate with you. The first
one is time, all right, It's time is probably what
most of us think of first. Time is about showing up,
is being present, It's volunteering your hours, is physically being present. Right,

(13:13):
Maybe you're the person who shows up for every family cather.
Maybe you volunteer at your kids' school. Well, maybe you
you're always available when a friend needs to talk. That's
service to time. That is service to time. That's you
giving your most precious non renewable service. You know what

(13:36):
I'm saying. The hours of your life is to be
present for others, all right. And the second one is talent.
This is where it gets very interesting because talent is
about using your pacific skills to serve. Like for me,
it's like podcasting. I use my voice, my gift of
authentic conversation, right, I use my ability to hold space, right,

(14:00):
I use that's my talent, right, I use my jewelry line. Actually,
I have another pair of my jewelry right now that
has amber in it, you know, for different things. These
that's using my creativity to create pieces that help women
to feel beautiful in power to help them heal through
you know, through the gyms that I create within the jewelry.

(14:21):
So maybe your talent is writing and you serve by
documenting family histories or writing encouragement notes. Or maybe you're
a graphic designer who creates fires for community events, or
maybe you're an accountant who helps people file their taxes
for free. Your professional skills, those are forms of service

(14:43):
when you use them with intention. All right. So our
next one is treasure, and let's talk about let's talk
about this. Let's talk about money because I know this
one brings up a lot of stuff for people. Treasure
is financial support. It's about donating to causes that you
believe in, sponsoring a child's education, buying groceries for a

(15:08):
family in need, or supporting a black owned businesses or
small businesses or women let businesses. And listen. If you
are in the season where you don't have financial treasures
to give, that's okay. But if you do have the resources,
money is a very powerful way to serve and it

(15:29):
extends your impact beyond what your time alone could read.
And the next one is testimony. This one, now, this one,
this one is everything to me. You see, testimony isn't
It is sharing your story. It's being vulnerable about your

(15:50):
journey so someone else don't doesn't feel alone in theirs.
So when I show up on ax Naomi and I
talk about my Explaensy Maxpent journey, or I talk about
my time in the industry, or I talk about my
time of healing through my self love process, or even
if I talk about my experiencing with sex and relationships,

(16:12):
those are my testimonies. Or when I share about deconstructing
purity culture, or that's testimony or this podcast the season
of Self Love. Every episode is a testimony. So for you,
your testimony might not be on a podcast. It might
be a conversation with your daughter or your son about

(16:34):
their body imaging or their masculinity or have them to
be a man. Or it might be sharing your mental
health journey with a friend, or it might be a
post on social media about what you have overcome. But
what I want you not to do is I want
you to never to underestimate the power of your story.

(16:56):
Your testimony is someone else's survival guide. And the final
one is touch. Yes, touch. This is a physical presence
in the most literal sense. It's that hug, you know,
that hug that you give someone who is crying. It's

(17:20):
you sitting next to someone in their grief, even when
you don't have the words, You're just sitting there in silence.
It's a holding of a new mother's baby so she
can take a shower, so she's able to take care
of herself. It's that massage therapy, It's that energy healing.

(17:41):
It's that literally touching people with care. Because some of
you are natural nurturers, your love language is physical touch
and acts of service. That's your form of service being
the safe space for people so they can collapse into it,

(18:06):
they can collapse into you. So five forms time talent,
treasure testimony and touch the five teaings. You don't have
to do all five of them. You do not have
to do all five of them. You don't even have
to do three. But at best, as I was talking

(18:28):
through those, one or two of them made you say,
made your spirits say yes, that's me. Oh that's me.
Oh that's me. That's definitely me. And I want you
to pay attention to that. So now that you know,

(18:48):
you don't pick one of one or two of those.
So let's identify what your gifts are. So let's really
get practical about identifying your gifts. Because sometimes the things
that come easiest to us are the things that we overlook.
I'm gonna say that again. Sometimes the things that come

(19:11):
easiest to us are the things that we overlook. And
I want you to think about these questions. If you
are journaling, write them down, all right. This is one question.
This is one o the questions what do you do
effortlessly that others struggle with? For me, it is creating

(19:34):
a safe space for hard conversations. I can sit with
someone's pain without trying to fix it. I can hold
that paradox that both you know the both in and
instead of either or, I can ask the questions that
help people find their own answers because I can see

(19:56):
it from different perspectives. But I'm gonna tell you this,
I didn't always have these gifts as these gifts. They
feel so natural to me. I didn't always see this.
I didn't always see this as a gift. I just
thought it was just something that I had. But other
people have told me, I don't know how you do that,

(20:20):
because I will get so uncomfortable when people cry. I
don't have the advice for them. I don't know is
my advice gonna be? Well, I don't have the answers.
But that's when I realized, oh, it is a gift
that is ease that I feel. Not everyone has that.

(20:46):
So I shared this story not too long ago, and
I'm gonna share it again. Is that from the time
I was a little girl, I've always been a person
that will give advice. People will, you know, sit around
me and they will tell me their whole business, in
their business about their life. No matter where I'm at,
I could be on set, I could be on the street,
I could be in a store, and people will stop

(21:07):
me and have conversations with me, tell me their own business.
I never know why, and you know, I will give
them some words of encouragement or maybe give them some advice.
And I remember before I'd be like, why are they
telling me this? You know, And I'm not gonna lie.
I'm gonna be very honest. Sometimes I found that as

(21:30):
as a curse, because I thought that a lot of
people always stopping me to tell me their business, or
even even when I'm on set and someone's supposed to
be working for me, and before I know it, I'm
sending them helping them, you know, through you know, their
do their life. They used to call me the black
Deer act literally, but one of my cousin in laws,

(21:52):
my husband cousin, beautiful woman, beautiful spirit. I remember, you know.
I used to talk to her a lot. Her and
her and her daughter a lot used to call me
in or even sit in my my space. A lot
of people do. But she was the one who actually
told me that, you know, what have you ever thought
about just being a life coach? And I was like, no,

(22:15):
I really never thought about it. I mean, that wasn't
something I thought, Yes, I give advice, but that was it.
I didn't think about it as doing it as a
career or as in service, and said, you really do
because you're wisdom and the things that you share with me.
She said, you you cannot buy that. She said, that

(22:36):
is something that is that you can't teach someone that,
that's something that you genuinely have. And I really feel
and believe that you this is what you that's your calling,
that's part of your calling that you should be doing.
And I just remember just going through that and listening
to her saying that. In probably like a year or

(22:57):
so later, that's when my spiritual aspect to start really
coming in and I really was like, okay, I really
need to tap into that. And I remember even going
to you know, getting more certification, taking more courses and classes,
you know, to kind of heighten that even more. And
I remember going to some spiritual some some spiritual leaders

(23:21):
and I know I'm going to follow, but I'm gonna
this is gonna come for a circle back around and
I remember speaking to a lot of them and I'm
telling me, like you honestly not even knowing that I'm I'm.
I was in class during a certification, and these are
three different ones that I that I've came and counter
to each one of them told me you are overqualified.

(23:45):
You don't need any more certification, you don't need any
more degrees, you don't need any more teachings for what
you're doing and what you're getting. Mind you, they didn't
know what I was doing. They didn't know what I
was doing. I didn't go to them and say this
is Naomi Banks. They didn't know who I was and

(24:06):
that I was like, wow, I had three different people
to tell me this. So me using my journey, me
using my experiences, me turning my pain into purpose, me
turning my wounds into wisdom. M that's a part of

(24:29):
my service. That's how I serviced one another through those gifts,
through my creativity, whether it's through my words, to writing
the podcast or speaking, to using my authentic voice, to
using my experiences to making jewelry make up songs. But

(24:55):
not only that, but for you to give others or
inspire others to encourage them to do the same, that
is what your unique gift is. That's identifying what yours is.
So now my question is for you. What about you?

(25:17):
What do people compliment you on that you kind of
shrunck off? What do you do that makes people say
I could never Maybe you are incredibly organized and you
can't understand why everybody doesn't use the spreadsheets for everything.
That is a gift because I can't do that. Maybe

(25:41):
you're a natural teacher and then explaining complex things and
simple terms it's easy for you. That is a gift.
Maybe you have a green thumb and keeping plants alive
is no big deal to you. That is a gift.
It's something that my grandmother had. That is something that

(26:02):
I don't have. I am texting my loved ones accident.
What do I do? I am on AI try to
figure out. I got this plan. I take a picture
of it. It's turning yellow here. I'm googling it. I'm
trying to figure it out. So, if that's something that
that is a gift. But whatever comes naturally to you,

(26:24):
that is pointing you towards your service suite spot. So
now my next question, what activities make you lose track
of time? Now this is very important because your gifts
are usually connected to your joy. So when you are

(26:48):
operating in your zone of genius. Then time disappears it
truly do. Let me tell you something me, I can
sit and have deep conversations for hours and it could
feel like twenty minutes. I can work on a podcast

(27:11):
content and before I look up and realize I have
not eaten all day because I am so in the
flow of it. Just like I just shared with you all,
I did a whole fifty eight minutes, fifty eight minutes
on this very same topic. Was just in the flow

(27:34):
and getting it and come to realize, I do not
record a damn thing. There was no voices on it
at all, no nothing. But that's me being in the
flow of it. That's me loving and feeling the joy
and understanding what I am giving back right here, what

(27:59):
fills me me and what allows me to overflow that
I don't have to tilt to pour into others. That
it's becoming, It is coming from me genuinely. Just yesterday,
I was sitting on a phone with one of my
beautiful cousins. I hadn't talked to her in years, it

(28:23):
had to be a few years, and we had a
nice almost two and a half hour conversation, you know,
where we were not draining one another that it was
a real beautiful flow of conversations. You know, even when
I'm I'm texting or and when I'm in the DMS

(28:44):
and I'm talking to someone you know, and those conversations
become deep because I love to share the wisdom that
I've been through through my fifty three years of living,
because there's the able to help someone else to get
through with their and make them feel like they're not alone,

(29:04):
that they're not crazy, because I've been there and I
felt that. So my question is for you, what does
that do for you? So for you mine's talking on
the phone. What do you lose your moments and your
times that when it's giving you joy? Is it cooking?

(29:27):
Maybe it is cooking. Maybe you get lost in the
rhythm of chopping and stirring and creating. Maybe it's working
with your hands, building, crafting, creating. Maybe it's being with
children and suddenly three hours have passed and you ain't
even know it. You need't notice it, that flow state

(29:53):
that is your soul telling you this is what I
built for now. My third question, what do people constantly
ask you for help with? This one is huge because
other people can often see our gifts before we can.

(30:17):
So people always ask me for advice about relationships, about sex,
about spirituality, about major life transitions. They ask me to
hold space for them during hard times. They ask me
on how I stay so authentic on social media. And
when I come to realize those aren't random requests what

(30:40):
they are, they are mirror us. That's reflecting back back
at my gifts. So my question is you to you
is what do people come to you for? What are
you the go to person in your friend group or
your friendamily or your community. Maybe people always ask you

(31:04):
to plenty events because you're so very detail, aren't Maybe
they ask you to pray for them because you're spiritual, connected,
is strong, And maybe they ask you to help them
move because you are reliable and you show up. But
whatever it is, I want you to pay attention to
it because that's your service sweet spot, and it's trying

(31:31):
to reveal itself for me. When I look at my
gifts through these three questions, I see creating safe spaces.
I see authentic conversations. I see spiritual guidance. I see
holding space for transformation. And when I look how I
serve through my podcast, through my coaching, through my advocacy work.

(31:53):
It all flows from those gifts in that that's alignment.
That is when service feels like expression instead of obligation.
So now let's talk about alignment over obligation, because this
is something that's really important understanding what alignment is over obligation,

(32:19):
because here's the truth. Service shouldn't feel like a burden.
If it is consistently drained you, if you dread it,
if you are doing it out of guilt or pressure,
it is not your calling. Let me say that again
because I need you to hear it. If service constantly

(32:45):
drains you, it is not your calling. It might be
someone else's calling. Booty, it is not yours. I know
that might feel controversial, especially if you were raised in
a religious space where service is meant to sacrifice, where
you were taught that is that if it's not painful,

(33:07):
then it doesn't count. Right that boundaries were seen as selfish,
that's not healthy service. What that is. That is self
embandment dressed up as righteousness. Healthy service is service that

(33:27):
flows from your gifts that are aligned with your purpose.
It might challenge you, it might even stretch you. There
might even be moments that are hard, but overall it
should energize you more than it depletes you. So let
me give you an example from my own life. Early

(33:52):
in my healing journey, I used to say yes to everything,
to everything, every request for my time, every person who
needs something from me. I thought that was my service.
I thought it would have looked like I thought, being
available to everyone all the time. And then I was
burnt out very hard. I was exhausted, I were resentful. Honestly,

(34:18):
I wasn't even serving people well because I was running
on empty. And that's when I learned the difference between
what I was called to do and what I felt
oplicated to. I had to learn to say no to
the should or could I just say yes to the

(34:39):
soul lad service? So then I started asking myself before
even saying yes to anything, is this align with my gifts?
Is this align with something that energizes me? Is this
where I am called to serve? Or I'm just saying
yes because I feel guilty? And when I started being

(35:00):
honest about those questions, everything changed. Everything changed. I stopped
volunteering things that drained me. I stopped saying yes to
speak and engagement that didn't align with my message. I
stopped trying to be everything to everyone, and you know
what happened. My service became more powerful because I was

(35:23):
given from a place of alignment instead of obligation. And
here's what I want you to understand. Saying no to
some forms of service isn't selfish. It's a stewardess of
your gifts. It's a respect of your gifts. It's the
honor of your gifts. So when you say no to

(35:44):
what's not yours, you create space to say yes to
what is. So when you stop trying to serve in
ways that don't align with your gifts, you free up
energy to serve powerfully in ways that do. Because guess what,

(36:05):
Mother Teresa wasn't running a tech company, Steve Job wasn't
running the hospice, and Oprah Show ain't trying to be
a surgeon. They understood their lanes, they understood their gifts,
and they served from a place of alignment. So you

(36:27):
get the same thing. Do you understand that this is
where you get to say, all right, that's beautiful work,
and I love what you're doing, but it's not my work.
It's not my work, you know, honestly, I remember, Oh

(36:48):
my god, I remember a few months back, one of
my good girlfriends, I remember her asking me to be
a part of she was she was being a event
coordinator for a fashion show and she had saw old
clipping of me being in a fashion show before, and

(37:08):
she said, Okay, I'm gonna need your help doing such
and such and such. And I remember her texting me,
and I remember sitting with that text for a few
days and why I sat with that text for a
few days because I knew that wasn't a part of
my because I knew that was not a part of
my my gifts, that was no longer aligned with me anymore.

(37:31):
But out of obligation, I say yes. And I remember
it being so difficult because I was like, Okay, I
can do this, and I can do that. You know,
I got my my line, yourey line that I've already designed.
I got that you can put that in there. I
got my internship put that in there. I got this
this here, you know, I got this here. And honestly,
wasn't nothing working. And I remember, I remember I went

(37:55):
on vacation and I was coming back and I remember like, okay,
I got two weeks out to get prepared for this event,
and when I came back, I got ill, sick, my
body shut down. And a few days later she texts
me and she says, I just went to a spiritual

(38:17):
guidance and told me I was not supposed to be
doing this. I thought it was so funny because I
was just getting ready to text her and say I
am ill and I cannot do this. So the thing
is is that I am so glad that God, that
the universe, that my spirit guides, that they all stepped

(38:39):
in and they had to say no for me in
that moment. They had to shut me down because that
was me coming from a place of obligation. Just because
I know how to do doesn't mean that this is
a line. Oh what I'm supposed to do at this moment,
at his time. That is not a part of my service.

(39:00):
That was not a part of my service. It wasn't.
So that was one of those times I said, oh
my God, that is so beautiful. I am excited for you.
I will be there to watch you, but it is
not my work. And that's why I can just share
and laugh with you all right now on this, because yeah,

(39:22):
that where I can say, I honor what you're doing,
but I'm called to do something differently. I am no
longer in that realm, I am no longer aligned with that,
and it is okay. I think about a lot of
people that asked me to interview for different podcasts, and
they really wanted me to come talk about, you know,

(39:43):
who is the best person doing this, you know, in
a scene in such and such and such, And so
I have to be very careful. Not that I'm ashamed
of my past. No, I will speak of my past
all the time. But when I speak of my past,
I speak of my past, and it's for a purpose
and to show my transformation, if that makes sense. So

(40:06):
if all were gonna talk about if if the best
person that I had sex with was Lexington Steel or
give me my top five or this now, because that's
not where I'm at, that's not the season that I'm in,
they were great, But how about talk about how did
I go from here to Here's let's talk about that.

(40:28):
And so it's probably a lot of platforms that I
have missed because I'm not in that space. That's not
where I'm aligned with, That is not what a I'm
in service for. Does that make sense? You know? So
when I think about that, that would give allows me
to serve in different ways of my expression and not
from obligation. Just because I was in the adult industry

(40:51):
and I did those things doesn't mean that I'm obligated
to be on those platforms and speak in those ways
because I'm no longer aligned with that. And that's the
same for you. You get to serve in the ways that
feels like your expressions and not from obligation. So when
you do that, when you release the pressure to serve

(41:14):
like everyone else and embrace the freedom to serve like you,
that's when your impact becomes exceptional. That's when it comes
like that. So now what I want to do is
I want to close this main context today by talking

(41:38):
about something that I think gets overlooked, and that's the
small acts of service that have big impacts. The thing
is that you don't have to start a nonprofit to serve. That,
you don't have to have a platform or a following. That,
you don't have to do something that looks impressive from

(41:59):
the outside. Sometimes the most powerful service is the quiet,
the consistent, in the small things. It can be a
daily tictac nose. Every morning, you can post a little note,
just a few sentes of encouragement or reminder of truth.

(42:21):
It can only take you five or ten minutes something
like that. You know, for me, I remember starting off
with my Yogi tea. I used to call it morning
Tea by the pool side. That every day I'll do
me a Yogi tea with a message on it and

(42:42):
I'll be like, wow, that relates to what I'm thinking
about today or what I'm going through today. So when
that message, how does it show up for me? And
I used to post it and the feedback that used
to coumb with it. You know a lot of people
used to say I needed that today. I needed to
know that today. You know, Oh wow, when you said that,
you that that changed my whole perspective, you know what

(43:04):
I'm saying. Or that screenshot that that I sent to
a friend, Oh my god, I needed that. So in
that that two or three minutes of voiceover showing that
that that clip or that what's the name in the
post that that few minutes those sentences, that was a service.

(43:28):
That was a service on Instagram reds same thing. It's
about just being yourself. It's all about me just being myself,
sharing my thoughts, being vulnerable, sharing my exploit journey, sharing
my waist loss journey, sharing me, embracing me getting older

(43:49):
and understanding what that looks like for me. Now those
rich people that I will never meet. But what that
does is it creates ripples, ripples that I will never see.
And that's an amazing thing because that service. A kind

(44:13):
word to a cashier who looks tired, that service showing
up authentically on social media so someone else feels permission
to do the same. That service, texting a friend thinking
about you today, that service. Leaving an encouraging comment on

(44:34):
someone's post babe, that service. So when we've conditioned to
think that service has to be big and public and impressive,
but some of the most some of the most transformative
service happens in the most smallest, the most quiet and

(44:55):
consistent moments. So for you, maybe your service isn't a
podcast or a platform, but maybe it's the way that
you raise your children. You ever thought about that, breaking
generational curses and just modeling healthy relationships where your children
go out and do the same. Maybe it's the way

(45:19):
that you show up at your job, bringing kindness into
a toxic environment. Maybe it's the way that you treat
yourself modeling self love so that people that are watching
you learn that they can love themselves too. Don't diminish, please,

(45:39):
don't diminish the power of small acts done with great love,
because your prer presence, it matters, your authenticity, it matters
your small, consistent acts of kindness. They matter. You don't
have to change the whole world. You just have to

(46:01):
change someone's day, and that someone day might change their life.
That's the ripple effect that we talked about last week,
and it starts with small acts that are done with intention.
So if you have been waiting, if you have been
waiting until you have more time, more resources, more of

(46:23):
a platform, then stop waiting. Serve where you are what
you have, your small acts, your small acts, trust and
believe that they are creating big impacts. All right, So
let's make this real practical right here. All right, So

(46:43):
here's what I want you to do this week. All right,
here's an exercise. All right, I want you to list
five things. I want to list five things, five things
you're naturally good at. Now what you've been trained to do,
not what you've been trained to do, not what looks
good on a resume, but what comes naturally to you.

(47:04):
Maybe you're a great listener, maybe you're organized, Maybe you're
funny and you can lighten up a room. Maybe you're
a problem solve or maybe you just creative, well just
maybe simply you're just nurturing. But I want you to
write those five things down. I want you to overthink
it and don't dismiss it with something because it seems

(47:27):
that it's too simple, because I want you to remember
simple doesn't mean that it's not valuable. And then I
want you to reflect on it. And with this, I
want you to reflect on all with this, which of
these bring you joy when you share it? Because I
want you to remember that your service sweet spot is
where your gifts meet joy. And I want you to

(47:51):
look at this list. I want you took at the
list of the five things and which one of them
make you feel alive when you use them to help others,
Which ones energize you instead of training you. I'm gonna
to circle them. I want to put a star by them.
I want you to hidelight them because those are your clues,

(48:17):
those are pointing you towards your service sweet spot. And
then I want you to do action, create action with them.
I want you to choose one way to serve this
week that feels in line, just one, not all five,
because I don't want you to try to be everything

(48:38):
to everyone. Just one way that flows from your gifts
and that brings you joy. Maybe it's having a real
conversation with someone who needs to be heard. Maybe it's
creating something art, music, food and just sharing it. Maybe
it's just using your organization skills to help someone who's overwhelmed.

(49:00):
Is posting something authentic that gives someone else permission to
be real? Want aerliging action. That's all I'm asking for
this week, and I want you to notice how it feels.
I want you to notice if it energizes you or
if it depletes you, because that feedback is important. It's

(49:24):
telling you whether you're in your service sueet Spot, or
if you are outside of it. Yes, I write, my
beautiful people so before because I want to just ground
ourselves in this truth, in our spirits right now. So
I want you to place your hand over your heart,
and I want you to take a deep breath in

(49:46):
and I want you to speak these words with me
out loud if you can, or just let them settle
in your soul. All right, all right, my gifts, My
gifts are unique and needed. I don't have to serve
like anyone else. I serve like me. My voice matter,

(50:09):
my story matters, my presence matters. I release the pressure
to do it all and embrace the freedom to do
what I am called to do. Small acts, what great
love creates big change. I am enough exactly as I

(50:35):
am in my service in whatever form it takes, is
valuable and needed. I want you to breathe that in. Yeah,
breathe it in, Okay, and let that be true. All right,

(50:57):
all right, man, beautiful people, again, I wanna thank you
for just being here and just showing up and just
showing up for and just be willing to discover your service.
Sweet Spot. You know you don't have to be everything
to everyone. And as I am speaking as to you,
all I am speaking is to myself, as if it's

(51:18):
a mirriage imaging you just have to be you and
your unique expression of your service that world Indeedy. So
we got another guest that's coming this week and amazing
guests that come in a week, but also next Monday,
we were continuing giving back this series with another layer,

(51:38):
but for those for this week, I want you all
to focus on those practical tools, do the exercise, reflect
on the questions, and take one aligned action at a time.
If this episode has helped you see your gifts differently,
I want you to share it with someone who needs
permission to serve in their own unique way. Screenshot tag me.

(51:58):
Let's keep this conversation going, but until next time, I
want you to remember that you are called, you are
equipped in your surface exactly as it is. It is enough.
I love you, my beautiful people. Now I'm going to
serve like only that you can. This is the season

(52:19):
of self love and I am not with banks and
I will see you next week. Have an amazing, an
amazing day, have a good one. Thank you so much
for joining me today on this journey of intentional healing.
I hope that this conversation has filled your cup and
reminded you of the beautiful and worthy person that you are.

(52:39):
I want you to remember healing isn't about rushing, It's
about showing up for yourself with love and intention, one
day at a time. So I'll see you back here
Monday and Wednesday for another episode of the season of
healing intentionally right here on the Season of Self Love podcast,

(53:00):
So until then, keep choosing you and visit us at
the Season of Self Love podcast dot com for show
notes and resources, and remember to connect with me on
Instagram at the real Naomi Banks. This has been brought
to you by Aks Naomi and elevated me self discovery
because your healing matters. You are loved, you are worthy,

(53:24):
and you are exactly where you need to be. Take
care of

All Episodes

Finding Your Service Sweet Spot: Discovering How YOU Are Called to Give Back | Mindset Monday

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang

Crime Junkie

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Finding Your Service Sweet Spot: Discovering How YOU Are Called to Give Back | Mindset Monday