: Stepping Into Authenticity: Reclaiming Your True Self with Tara Wiskow | Wisdom Wednesday - The Season of Self Love

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Season and Self Love Podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
I am your host, Namibanks, and I am thrilled to
have you joined me on this transformative journey. You see,
every day we dive into a powerful conversation about self discovery, healing,
and empowerment. This podcast is brought to you by Ax
Naomi and Elevate Me Self Discovery, where we believe that
loving yourself is the first step to living a fulfilling life.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
You can expect insightful discussions, practical tips, and inspiring stories.
Plus we'll occasionally welcome special guests who will share their
unique perspectives on self love and personal growth. So get comfy,
grab your favorite beverage, and let's embark on this journey together.
Because it's time to embrace the beautiful person that you are.

(00:49):
So let's elevate our lives one episode of time.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Now, let's get started, all right. Maybe for people who
are welcome back to this Season and Self Love podcast.
I'm your host, Naomi. Thanks, and today is Wednesday. And Wednesday,
you know we've been talking about the Year of the
Rebirth is our theme for this year, and this month
is all about one truth or breakthrough and one boundary
at a time. You know, family, this month is all

(01:16):
about living in your authentic selves. And listen, I don't
know about y'all, but this series has been hitting deep,
hitting deep. You know this is my birthday month too,
so you know I can't give it to you, all right, right, Well,
today's episode is especially powerful because we're talking about stepping
into authenticity and reclaiming your true self, a theme that

(01:40):
so many of us are craving right now. And I
couldn't think of a better guest to walk with us
through this than Terror Whisco. Terror is a powerhouse, intuitive
energy healer, and a life rend invention expert. But what
I love most about her is her truth, her transparency.
She's been through it, she has risen from it. Terry

(02:01):
has lost two hundred and twenty pounds naturally, Yes you
heard me. That's a whole body. That's a whole nother body,
and her journey has been nothing short of transformational. So
whether you've been hiding behind people pleasing or just silencing
your inner voice, or just feeling lost in your own life,

(02:22):
this episode is for you. But before we bring Terry
to the stage, we're gonna take a quick break. All right,
it's your Gurdy god a ninebry babs on this season
and stuff on the podcast and would be right back.

Speaker 4 (02:36):
Washington wells into two focuses on healing always for me.
If I look good, then I feel good. If I
feel good, then I share the good. If I share
the good, then I celebrate the good. If I celebrate
the good, then I live the good. So I can
be paid to be my greatest. But I have to
learn the good to be the good.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
So what does it take to be the greatest.

Speaker 4 (03:00):
It's as simple as a free fifteen minute consultation.

Speaker 5 (03:03):
Be kind to yourself and he'll all live.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
Hey it's your girl, you got it now me Banks
and make sure you tune in every three Thursday night
as Naomi Gap Podcast. We'll be talking about everything you love, sex, relationship,
culture differences and so much more by bridging the gap
between them all. And we even talk about this scripture monning.
You need to stop by Mean dot com, my pods
as well as the BeTV group. You have some amazing

(03:31):
gifts that come frol you never know. Just make sure
you tune met Thursday nightey six pm, six century Time.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
Go to Axlaim dot com and tell.

Speaker 3 (03:40):
Them namis all right, my beautiful people. Well, welcome back,
Hey team, Hello, how are you?

Speaker 5 (03:52):
And thank you? I have to say thank you for
having me with you on this this episode and this month.
What an amazing month about authenticity speaking my language. But
back to my original question, how are you?

Speaker 3 (04:05):
I am? Well, I am amazing, I am amazing, amazing,
Thank you. I'm truly excited for this conversation. I really am,
I really am. You know, this year is all about
the rebirth for us in this this whole year long thing,

(04:25):
and it's been an amazing We're in the second half
of this year and I can truly say that it's
been one. It's been a good one. It's been a
good one. It's been Yeah. So usually what we do
before is we do a nice little guided meditation before
we get into our conversation. All right, is that all right?

Speaker 6 (04:45):
Due?

Speaker 5 (04:46):
I think that's amazing. I love it.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
All right, thank you? All right, my listeners, you know
how we do it. If you can just close your
eyes to get into a comfortable position, all rightail deeply
through your nose, your lungs with air. I want you
to hold on for a brief moment. Now, exhale slowly
and completely releasing any tension or stress. I want you

(05:12):
to feel your body relaxing with each broth. Now, as
you continue to breathe at your own pace, I want
you to bring awareness to the present moment and feel
the weight of your body grounding you to the earth.
I want you to notice any sensation within your body
without judgment, just simply observing. Take a deep breath, thin,

(05:37):
drawing in peace and clarity, and I want you to
exhale any distractions or words that may be cloud in
your mind. With each breath creates space for insights and
intuition to flow freely. Now, envision a bright light at
the center of your being, radiating warmth.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
And wisdom, and with each.

Speaker 3 (06:02):
And nail, allow this light to expand and illuminate your
mind and spirit, and feel a sense of calm and
serenity in you. Take one final deep breath in embracing
this moment of stillness and interconnection, and exhale slowly, carrying
this sense of present and openness with you as you

(06:25):
move forward. So when you are ready, gently open your
eyes and carry this feeling of mindfulness throughout your day.
You are grounded, You are centered and open to the
insights that away. All right. Maybe for people if you

(06:50):
are new here to this is in a Cephalo podcasts.
It's something we do everyday Monday through Fridays, just to
have ground us before we get into the topic of
your hand.

Speaker 5 (06:57):
All right, you ready, I'm ready. I am ready again.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
Welcome, Welcome with So let's go ahead and begin with
your journey. All right, So your story is is you
lost two hundred and twenty pounds. Naturally, this is shoe
inspiring and what I'm saying because I've been on a
yo yo day for about the past eight years of
my life.

Speaker 5 (07:21):
Oh girl, but you know what.

Speaker 3 (07:23):
It honestly goes so much deeper than weight loss, and
I know that it does. So can you share with
us what led you to start this journey and what
discovered along your way?

Speaker 5 (07:34):
Oh my gosh, this is going to be a long podcast.
We're gonna talk about what I discovered along the way.
It's a lot. So what what led me to this?
You know, I started struggling with weight in my senior
year of high school and it led from actually having.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
Right miss I was. So let's go ahead and begin
with your journey. Your story is you losing two hundred
and twenty pounds. Naturally, that is so impressive. But not
only that, but I know it goes deeper into that.
You know, I've been on this up and down yo
Yo Daya for the past I'm ten years of my life.
So can you share what led you to start this

(08:21):
journey and what did you discover while going through this journey?

Speaker 5 (08:26):
Yeah? So what led me to start it? Honestly, I
started to struggle with my weight when I was in
my junior year of high school and started to put
weight on and it continued to progress for years. Three
pregnancies later, and I got to the point of three
hundred and thirty eight pounds. Now, just like you said,
Yo Yo died in trying to lose the weight. I

(08:47):
had tried everything doctor prescribed, friend recommended, Internet suggested. I
had done it all, and I would successfully lose some
and then I'd put it back on, and I would
not just put what I'd lost back on. I would
put more than that, because, as you said, it goes
deeper than that. It's that internal being, that frustration, that disappointment,

(09:09):
that shame, all those things that come the emotional side
of not just the physical but the emotional. And so
when when I'd went through a divorce and I was
now a single mom of three boys three hundred and
thirty eight pounds, I started to realize that the mom
that I was was not the mom that I had

(09:30):
made the commitment young in my life that I would
be my mom. I love my mom. I'm grateful that
she brought me into this world and gave me life.
She was very much somebody that was sedentary on the couch,
and she wasn't present with us. She wasn't there to
be out doing the things that that us girls were doing.
And so I knew I wanted to be the mom
that was out that was, you know, getting I don't know,

(09:55):
the grass stanes and the pants and the rips in
the clothes and out moving grooven and being a boy mom.
That was easy to be able to do if I
was in that state of ability to do, which I wasn't.
And so I became the park bench MoMA. I would
go to the park, I would sit on the bench,
and my boys would be out with all the other
moms that were physically able to be present with them,

(10:17):
and they would take them under their wings and do
all those things. And one day I was deep in
thought thinking whatever I was thinking, I don't recall at
this point what I was thinking. It was probably about
seventeen years ago. And I happened to look up and
here are my boys looking at me, all three dirty faces,
and everybody else is clearing out and leaving the park.

(10:38):
And they wanted to play their favorite favorite game. And
it's a swing game, and it's a game where they're
swinging and I'm running in between them. Everybody's aware of
this game. I'm pretty sure everybody is. And so it
went my oldest son, Trevor, youngest son, Trustan middle son
tray that was the order of the swings. And I
went by Trevor and I got in of trust In

(11:00):
and I tripped and as I was falling, trusted came
swinging into me, and he bombarded into me with his feet,
and that pressure and force of him hitting me flipped
his two year old body back and he crashing into
the ground. It knocked him unconscious and split his head
open in that moment. You know how they say, Naomi,

(11:23):
that you the adrenaline that happens, you can lift a
car up right. I was running maybe I don't even
know if I could say five feet and I had
to stop, and I had to catch my breath. Here
I am with my my unconscious two year old in
my arms, my older two boys, they're they're falling, they're screaming.
They don't know what's going on, and they're terrified. And

(11:46):
I struggled to get my son to the vehicle and
get him to the er to have him looked at
and taken care of. The end of that whole ordeal,
he had staples in his head and he was very
proud of the staples. He's a typical by all. The
boys have lollipops, They're good. And I'm going home absolutely
crushed and broken. Not only did I let my body go,

(12:08):
not only did I feel like going through a divorce
and my relationship falling apart. I was not the mom
that my boys deserved, and that led to eating disorders
and then eventually suicide. The moment that shifted everything for me,
the pinnacle moment, was my third suicidal attempt and my

(12:31):
middle son finding me and assessing the situation and asking
me this question, are you gonna die?

Speaker 3 (12:39):
Mama?

Speaker 5 (12:41):
And I because of what happened to me when I
was eight, being found out that a huge secret had
been kept to me about my identity. I swore I
would never lie to my boys, regardless of the what
I had to say, the meaning behind what I had
to say, And so when I looked at Trey, I
knew it was yes or no. And in that moment,

(13:04):
all of a sudden I heard. I heard, Tara, you
have got to learn to love yourself as much as
you love these boys. And that was the moment where
everything shifted. That was a pinnacle moment where I realized
the one thing that I had not done in all
the years of trying to lose weight was love myself.

(13:25):
I had been mean, I had been hurtful. I had
damaged my inner worth, my inner being. I had said
terrible things to myself. I had not once loved the
woman looking back at me in the mirror. I'd not
accepted her. And so my response to Trey was no,
I'm not going to die. And that was a moment

(13:48):
where I started to step forward being my more authentic
self than I ever had been in all of my life.
At that point, and I was twenty eight years old. Then,
it was twenty years a long time coming that I
would finally start to realize what it means to be authentech.
That's what started my weight last journey to losing two

(14:10):
hundred and twenty pounds.

Speaker 3 (14:12):
Wow. That is so powerful. I'm over here in tears
as you are speaking your story and sharing it, and
thank you for sharing it. First of all, you're welcome. Wow.
So let me share with the audience why they're What
I felt from her, what I was feeling is just
to know that your baby boy is laying on the

(14:35):
ground with his head wide open like that, and you
you see it and you want to be there quickly,
but knowing that you can be the very reason why
that baby is no longer here because you haven't done
your due diligence as a mother, as a protector, as
a know and not only that, is that the shame

(15:02):
that you have for yourself that you allow for all
of this to take place when you knew that you
kind of had control of it yourself. You know, it's
just you know, that's a lot. That's a lot, and
I felt every single bit of it all. What I
do love about the story is that when you realize

(15:24):
that wait, hold on, I'm not even loving myself right right,
That's something easy that we do forget is because we
do look at everyone else first, We do look at
ourselves last, we the last. What I've been hearing all year,
through every different series that we have is that we

(15:47):
have to put on our oxygen masks first. Yes, we
can help others. You know that. For me, this year
has been stamped into my brain constantly, over and over again.
And that's why even you here with me today, that's
another stamp for me to really, you know, keep reminding

(16:07):
me to pay attention when we do. You know, when
we try to do things for other Hi, is that right?
Is that? What being in aligned with that is that
your authentic self? Are you truly supposed to be doing that?

Speaker 5 (16:19):
Right?

Speaker 3 (16:19):
I love that you was being honest and accountable of
the mother that you wanted to be for your children
and not the mother that you had. I can echo
you on that one. Well, my first, my three babies
are all ten years apart, ten ten ten wow? Thirty
five year old? Well no, she's thirty three, one will

(16:41):
be twenty three, and one will be thirteen. Each one
of my babies are ten years apart, and so each
one of them got a different version of me, sure,
a different mother of me. So when you spoke that
I understood exactly. The first one she got, the nineteen
year old with me, we were running, we would do
it everything. Yes, baby got the rich one, the Richmond

(17:05):
was full of work. And this one right here, she
gets the one that's down that I'm self employed and
I'm working all the time. So when you talk about
being present, I understood exactly what you meant. And I
took that as a message for me, is that don't
be so involved and indulged in what you're doing here,
even though it's for good that you lose the presence

(17:28):
with that little one. Yeah, thank you for that one.
And I had to take knowledge of that when I
when when I have amazing guests, coworkers, co guests on
here with me and something hits me, I have to
say it so my listeners can know, Oh, Naomi, just
not speaking. I'm living through this journey right along with you,

(17:50):
with you all, and I thank you for that.

Speaker 5 (17:54):
I do welcome. Yeah, well you know. And it's that awareness, right.
The first step to anything changed is awareness. And so
for you to be willing to be open to be
aware of that and then take that on, that's what
will create the shift within you and That's a piece
of being authentic, right there, Naomi, is you being willing
to say I need to do a check up from

(18:14):
a neck up because I feel something in what she's
saying and you allow that to enter within you And
that's huge. That says that you've done that that personal
development to allow you to be aware of the shifts
that need to happen for your own betterment, for you
to feel better in your authentic space.

Speaker 3 (18:30):
Yeah, thank you for that. You know you and I
know what our listeners when they hear you attempted three
times to take your life, three times to take your life,
this is my question for you. Sure, why did you
think that you wasn't worthy to live? Well, that's my question.
It's another one. Why did you think that the boys

(18:51):
were not worthy to have you in their life?

Speaker 5 (18:54):
Yeah? My belief is that they could have better. That
was the blieve that I always had somebody that would
be enough. That is the biggest belief that I have
struggled with, limiting belief the majority of my life. And
it stems from eight years old as I shared that
that big secret that came out about my identity is

(19:17):
I'm not good enough, I'm not smart.

Speaker 3 (19:18):
Enough.

Speaker 5 (19:19):
I'll never be enough. I don't have enough. The word
enough has always been within my limited space of beliefs
about myself, and so for me thinking, you know, this
will sound really crazy to you and your listeners, and
I've had to embrace it myself. But the first suicidal
attempt where I wasn't successful, I thought I wasn't good

(19:39):
enough to even be able to end my own life.
I thought there was something wrong with me that I
couldn't even succeed at that I took it as a
negative towards myself, rather than seeing it as a rejoiceful
moment to say God has bigger plans for you. You're
meant for something more. But I internalized it as something
wrong with me, So we'll try again, and still something's

(20:02):
wrong with you, So then we'll try it again. And
it was that third moment of having it be intercepted
by my son and hearing that download to know, girl,
you are more than enough. You're just approaching things in
all the wrong way of living this life and being
yourself and allowing yourself to be present. And for me,

(20:24):
why did I not think that I was enough?

Speaker 3 (20:26):
Again?

Speaker 5 (20:27):
It's just me thinking that I wasn't a complete whole person.

Speaker 3 (20:38):
And I hope this is okay when I ask you this,
anything's okay. You said something about eight years old. Yeah,
whatever happened at eight, Is that a part of what
made you feel that you wasn't worthy?

Speaker 5 (20:58):
Yeah? Yeah, I found out at eight on my birthday
was this time of years Easter, that I had a
different dad, that the dad that I thought was my
dad was actually my stepdad, and I had a biological
dad and a whole other family that were living five
hours away. And when my mom was pregnant and he

(21:21):
became aware, he said, abort it.

Speaker 3 (21:23):
It's not mine.

Speaker 5 (21:23):
I don't want it. And I did end up meeting
him when I was twelve, after going through such deep
identity struggles, because as you can see, I'm dark hair,
brown eyes. My mom and my dad, my stepdad, and
my sisters are blonde hair, blue eyes. And at that moment,
I started to see things like, wow, I do look different.

(21:45):
I am different. Everything about me was different. And the
moment that I met my biological dad was like looking
in a mirror. Everything about me fit perfect. I mean,
it was a glove fitting. And then he died when
I was fifteen, and I felt like he abandoned me.
I felt like he me I was only good enough
to be in his life for three years, that was
all I got, and then he would leave me. And

(22:07):
so that was all of the identity shifting that I did,
because at home, I felt like I had to be
somebody different. When I stay home with my mom and
my dad, which is my stepdad, I had to be
somebody different to not be abandoned. And when I was
with my biological dad and my sister's there, it had
to be somebody different to not be abandoned. When I
was with my friends, when I was anywhere, I had

(22:28):
to be somebody exactly as they wanted, not my actual version,
not my authentic self, because obviously my authentic self in
the womb wasn't even good enough, so I was abandoned. Therefore,
if I was with anybody in living space, they're not
going to love me, accept me. So be somebody that
they will want, whoever they'll accept. That's who you choose

(22:48):
to be.

Speaker 3 (22:51):
That is so powerful, That is so powerful, just even
in the realization that you know that I wasn't even
my authentic self with anybody, with anybody, with no with
no one that I was not able to show my abandonment.

(23:11):
So let me share something with you that we talked
about abandonment. Was it late last year one of those
times in I suffer from abandonment. But for me with
my abandonment, and I came to this realization. I said,
I truly thank my abandonment because it helps build this
amazing character and resilience that I have. And so what

(23:36):
I think about when I'm listening to you and what
you're saying, those three attempts that you made on your life,
that was a steady resilience to keep building and building
and building up for you. Not only that, so that
can be another layer, a part of your story. You know,
you can see the grint of with that, Oh, with

(24:01):
this authenticity means for you in this life? You know
what I mean?

Speaker 5 (24:07):
Yes, yes, yeah, and I do see it now. I
used to I used to have so much anger within
me for the life that I lived. I used to
think that God made two kinds of people, the beautiful,
the skinny, the successful, the fortunate, and the me. I
really believe that, And I always wondered why why was

(24:29):
I the one that didn't get to have good things
in my life? And I now realize that, I mean,
none of that's true, and everything that I've went through
has built me to be who I am, and it's
allowed me. It's a blessing because at the level that
I can connect with women now and understand, there are
very few women that can walk up to me and

(24:49):
say you'll never understand, and I can say you're right,
because I'll probably listen in and saying, oh, honey, I
got you, I got you. And that gives me the
ability to connect and for me to be so open
and take them in in a hold space for them,
and and be able to just allow them to be
vulnerable with me because I understand, I've got it, and

(25:12):
that gives me a whole level of connection that I
would have had had I not went through the journey
that I've went through.

Speaker 3 (25:18):
Yeah, that's beautiful. You know when people say authenticity to
be you know what is that? Yeah, so let's talk
about let's talk about what really authenticity is now for you?
What does it really mean to be authentic?

Speaker 6 (25:36):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (25:37):
It's so funny because in the beginning of me beginning
to talk about authenticity, I really struggled with it. I
had to go to the Webster dictionary to be like
what isicity? Like what does this mean? And I'm a
I love food, so it's like okay, so authentic Mexican.
Oh oh okay, Like okay, I cat, I can bring
this in now. So to be, to be a is

(26:01):
somebody that is It's you, it is you. There are
no masks, there are no there are no hats that
you wear. You don't have a hat for this group.
You don't have a hat for this this group, you
have nothing but yourself. Showing up as you wide open
for me is ron and reel. Like when people say

(26:21):
talk about me, what they'll say is Tara comes with
a whole punch of raw and reel. That that is her.
And that's that's how I show up. Is completely being
myself regardless. Now did I always Oh my gosh, no,
We've already talked about that. But now I'm coming in
and I'm owning my space and I'm owning that space
fully as myself. And you're not going to make me

(26:41):
feel like I have to speak in a way that
you're going to be okay with, or that I have
to dress a certain way to be acceptable. I'm gonna
dress the way I want to dress. I'm gonna speak
the way that I want to speak, and I'm going
to own my space because I deserve to own that space.

Speaker 3 (26:55):
I love that girl. Right.

Speaker 5 (27:00):
It took me a long time to get here, but
I am here and I'm not letting it go.

Speaker 3 (27:05):
You know. I love that. And why it's because going
on this journey right here, the season is self love.
Let me say that season and self love has allowed
me to truly be so authentic. I remember when I
first was told, when it felt like somebody was right
here on my shoulder. I was sitting on my altar and said,

(27:25):
you need to do this daily? Me do this daily?
Am I word? Huh what that looks like? Do I
need to go get a bible? What are I to
do to do this? You know? And it was like, no,
bring yourself. Yeah, everything that you've learned through your journey,
through your life, you being in the adult industry, you

(27:46):
being a mother, you being a singer, everything that you
went through in life, you bring it into this table,
right here on this table and allow people to eat
as you eat. And I didn't understand that. But then
as I continue to be my authentic self on the
real and bringing other people in It was just like, oh,

(28:08):
so people don't care. They just want me for just me.
I don't have to, you know, speak them in my language. No,
I can speak. If I can't pronounce a word instead
of over it, that's me, that's who I am. I
don't have to switch colder any of those things. And
when you are living and I'm telling you listeners, when
you are living in your authentic self and you accept

(28:30):
it every part of you, there's nothing that nobody else can.

Speaker 5 (28:34):
Say to you that is so true, that is so true.
Had a mentor say to me, It's none of your
business what anybody else says or thinks about you. All
that should be in your concern is what you think
and say about yourself. And I really truly think that
that is allowing yourself to be authentic because you're letting
any words or thoughts from anybody else fall away and

(28:56):
it doesn't penetrate you. You don't allow it to penetrate you
because you're in full concern on what you're thinking. Insane
about yourself.

Speaker 3 (29:03):
Yeah, exactly. You know. It's funny. I remember when transitioning
leaving I've been out of the adult industry for thirteen years.
Thirteen years.

Speaker 5 (29:13):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (29:13):
But I still have fans and I still have people
that would come and trol and say, so, I have
this whole I'm on there talking about transformation and God
and someone would say, well you're thinking about that when
that was in your mouth? Like really, like really wow?

(29:34):
You know that? I remember that used to offend me
in the beginning.

Speaker 7 (29:39):
But then I said, and I said, well, that's where
they met me at, right, That's where they made me at.
So I mean, why would I get offended because that
was me. That was me on that film. And yes,
I probably got award for that, but that was.

Speaker 3 (29:53):
Me on that film. So how can you get upsett
from someone who doesn't see doesn't see you? But is
it really them not seeing you? Is it really them
not seeing you? And that's what's the It ain't even
my problem because I know who I am.

Speaker 5 (30:11):
Yeah, we're go ahead, go ahead. I feel like when
we decide to shift and really own our authenticity, people
get really unnerved by that because they they either are
are really envious or intimidated. Because you've got the strength

(30:32):
within you, the empowerment within you to say I'm owning this,
this is me, and I'm not allowing anybody to take
that away from me, and they're they're feeling really insecure
about themselves because they don't have that within them. And
that's not because there's anything wrong with them, and it's
just they've not reached that level. And so, like all
of us, at some point in our life, do they

(30:54):
try to take you down to their level, because then
if they can just bring you down there, it makes
them feel better about where they're at and makes them
feel better about staying where they're at. Again, this is
not shame, This is not blame, This is not judgment.
I've been there, I've been that person, and so it's
just the reality of what happens when we're changing or

(31:15):
you no longer serve the purpose of what they want.

Speaker 3 (31:18):
For me.

Speaker 5 (31:18):
As I've been a weight loss coach for eleven years,
I'll always be a weight loss coach, but I'm shifting
into the space of being the intuitive energy healer and
moving into that because that's where I belong, that's my calling.
And people are struggling with that because I'm no longer
serving the purpose they want and they're feeling like I'm
abandoning them because I'm moving away, which I'm not I'm

(31:40):
not abandoning them, but they're feeling abandoned, and so that
inner child is being triggered because their own childhood triggers
are coming forward. Their own insecurities and needs of healing
are coming forward, and me shifting and me changing is
making them have insecurities that they don't know how to handle.

Speaker 3 (32:00):
Ooh, girl, that spoke. So that is so powerful because
when you really think about it, I never really thought
about it that way, as of them feeling abandoned by
what you were serving them in the beginning. I didn't
think about it in that aspect. I thought about this
because they don't see me humping up and down anymore. No,

(32:22):
you know, that's that's what you think, you know, And
I'm like, I want to give you a hugger, I
want to pray for you because I want you to
get to where I'm at. But now that you say it,
that is a sense of abandonment because in their heads, regardless,
this is a relationship that they have with us, whether
you're you know you're a coach for weight loss. You know,
this was my relationship of watching Naomi do these films

(32:45):
or talk, you know, be in this sense she gave
me a sense of I don't want to say hope,
but that I wasn't alone in this part of my journey,
you know, with it. You know, so she just she
just left me, you know, just left me behind you.

Speaker 5 (33:00):
Yeah, you served. You gave them emotion, right like they
felt some sort of emotion watching you in that film
doing the work you're doing. They felt emotion tied to you.
And even though it's been thirteen years, they're now seeing
you in this different space and they don't know how
to take that now. They have different emotions that they
don't know how to deal with, and they do feel

(33:21):
abandoned because they're wanting that that Naomi back because that
served the purpose that they needed. And they're just not
at your level. They're not at your level of where
you are now, and they can't speak this language.

Speaker 3 (33:32):
Wow, you know that's I mean, I just just thank
you for that, because language on that one I didn't
get anyore I gave it. But you know, you just
gave me another perspective on truly how to look at it,
you know, because I would have been when I decided
to truly start living in my purpose, it was all
about you know, bringing in spirituality and sexuality in together

(33:53):
and about healing in that process. And I remember when
I truly chose to like, Okay, I'm gonna leave my
adult side or side away and really focus on my
spiritual I was so off balanced because that wasn't my
true purpose. My true purpose was truly to be where
I do speak about sexuality and spirituality and how both

(34:14):
of them can be in the same temple, which is
our body, and how we can be able to balance
those and be behole. You know, that's the whole thing
with it. And I think it's it's been hard. Now,
let me say hard. It's been challenging for me until today.
And you just want something challenging to find that fine

(34:41):
line those that's on the sexual side and those that's
on the spiritual side to meet here. Yeah, well, we
don't have to shame neither one of them, right right,
the one of them. Let's take religious out of it.
Let's talk about spirituality, Let's talk about being. Let's talk

(35:01):
about sexuality. Sexuality is a part of a spiritual being
that we have inside of us, you know, gifts and
things that we have within us that this is a
part of.

Speaker 5 (35:11):
Our core totally.

Speaker 3 (35:14):
You know, yeah, you know what that Yeah.

Speaker 5 (35:18):
And I love that you speak that. And do you
honestly feel like had you not that prior career, if
that wouldn't have ban what, you wouldn't be able to
have these conversations. You had to experience that to bring
it all together. Yeah, and I love that. I love
that that you're putting that message out there. And if
anybody can speak it and be trusted to know it,

(35:39):
it's you.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
Yeah, you know. And and it's when I think about it.
When I joined and got into the industry, I was well,
I was going through a divorce with my first divorce,
and I had two kids. I was thirty something years old,
so I was a grown woman making grown women decisions
to get into this industry, you know, left my all
the career, came into this industry, and everybody wondered why.

(36:04):
I thought it was just going to be a money grag. Honestly,
there was a multi billion dollar industry. I figured, let
me give familia, put it into these different product and
be gone. But in that process, I've learned so much
stuff about myself, about the people that's in the industry,
and about the people outside of the industry. I was
able to look at a different at life, at a
different perspective than I ever grew up. I grew up

(36:27):
on the South Side of Chicago. So when from a
very religious background, you know, search every Sunday, you know,
part of the urcherboard, the choir.

Speaker 5 (36:36):
You know, like yes, yes, that, and so being in.

Speaker 3 (36:41):
That, you know, it allowed me to see it differently
and go into it without judgment. Really it did go
into their more aware of what God is using me for.
And I remember the prayer that I used to have
in my car, and when you are ready for me

(37:02):
to leave, you will let me know, you will you
know when you are ready for me to leave. And
sure enough, yeah, it was time to leave. It was
time to leave. And a few years later, here I am,
you know, on my podcast speaking on Ask Naomi. We
talk about sex and relationship, I'm talking about spirituality over there,
I'm having people read books and join this stuff. And

(37:23):
I was like, let me dedicate a whole month to it.
That turned out to me a whole podcast that I'm
on daily.

Speaker 5 (37:32):
Love it, Love it. That's all part of your journey,
that's your authentic journey. Had you not right, had you
not followed that and done that you would not be
where you are doing what you're doing right. The second
that's part of your authentic journey is not denying yourself
to do what feels right.

Speaker 3 (37:52):
Yeah, that's beautiful. So let's get back to you that
first few pounds of that two hundred and twenty pounds.
What did that look like for you?

Speaker 5 (38:06):
Oh my gosh, some days I forget what that was like.
And I never want to forget where I came from,
because then I forget a piece of me. And so
what was it like?

Speaker 3 (38:18):
Was it?

Speaker 5 (38:18):
I honestly thought it was just going to be another
one of those situations where I'd lose five pounds and
put it back on. So I wasn't really believing that
it was actually going to work, though I knew that
it felt different because I had a different energy of
about me, a different way of actually showing up and
being committed to it. I saw the process differently, and

(38:41):
so the first few pounds was it was hopeful to
believe that it was actually happening. And after I actually
had lost twenty five pounds, I was so in the
lack of belief that it actually could work for me
that I've sat down with a friend and I said,
I think that I'm sick. He said, what do you mean.
I said, I'm losing weight. I think I'm sick. I've

(39:04):
lost twenty five pounds. She said, Tara, you're eating healthy,
you're drinking water, and you're walking every day. What are
you talking about. I had this belief that if it
was good things were happening for me, something bad had
to be brewing on the inside, because remember God made
two kinds of people, and I was the other one.
And so it took me some time to actually sit
with it and realize, this is happening because you're doing

(39:27):
the work, but because you deserve it as well. This
is okay. You aren't somebody that is not deserving. And
so as I continued through the journey, it became more exciting,
it became more empowering. I started to love myself deeper.
The hardest part was in the beginning of the process
of learning to love myself was looking at myself in

(39:50):
the mirror and speaking to myself differently. I never called
myself Tara in the privacy of my own home, with
the private see it myself. If I was out and
people said what's your name? I would say Tara if
they called me Tera, I'd respond in a mirror at home,
I would always say, you are so fat helfer Hannah,
you know, in no offense to anybody with the name

(40:12):
of Hannah. But that was that was what I called myself.
And after I made that declaration of loving myself down
the scale, it was looking in the mirror and I
would stand there, completely naked, and I would make myself
look at my entire body and I would not allow
myself to cringe, and I would bring my eyes back

(40:32):
up to my eyes and it took a while, and
I would say, I love you, Tara, I'm proud of you,
and I am so glad that I get to be you.
That was the start of it. That was the hardest
part of it. And after that, once I start to
embody the true love of actually loving who I was,
the rest of it started to fall into place, and

(40:52):
the weight loss started to happen naturally, and I fell
in love with the journey.

Speaker 3 (40:57):
Beautiful. Yeah, that mirror, that mirror work is something else,
isn't it.

Speaker 5 (41:03):
It is I My women do it, and they hate
every single second of it. To start, and I know
they call me names like none other, but they learn
to love it. And it is so transformational.

Speaker 3 (41:16):
It is it's very it's you know, it's it's funny
when you talk about talking to yourself. I say this
all the time. I said, I have great conversations with myself.
I really do. I'll be telling girl, you need to
go sit over there because you is really tripping the day.
And we were like, are you serious. Yes, because you
do have those moments where you do have with this
trigger and sometimes when you say, girl, you did that,

(41:37):
like yo, you did that, And you have to because
you have to think about how many times were you
quietly speaking down on yourself. So you have to be
loud in that celebration for yourself more than that quietness
that you have inside of you.

Speaker 5 (41:57):
Yes, yes, and no better place to do it in
the mirror. That is like.

Speaker 6 (42:01):
Finally seeing you, seeing you and loving you and accepting you,
not just looking at the exterior and finding fault, but
seeing who's inside and loving every bit of you for
all reasons that you should be loving yourself.

Speaker 3 (42:17):
Yeah, there was this exercise that I used to do
in the beginning. I actually told my listeners this, and
but looking at yourself in the mirror and just see
all the flaws, but as that excuse me in every flaw,
and I used to thank each one of the flaws
or the scrapes or the scratches or the lessoning and
thank them for that and remember why that's there? What

(42:38):
did I learn from from that? And that helped me
to truly appreciate my journey? It truly you to go
back to say what did I learn from this?

Speaker 5 (42:49):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (42:50):
That is I find it today?

Speaker 5 (42:52):
Yeah, yeah, thank you for sharing that. That is that
is something that I've not done and I need to
do that. Even though I love myself and I'm proud
of myself, we can never not do enough of those
exercises to strengthen that bond with ourselves. So thank you
for sharing that.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
Oh you're welcome. Like I said, this is we get
it from each other.

Speaker 5 (43:14):
Yea yeah, yeah, is a give and take relationship.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
Good.

Speaker 5 (43:19):
I love each.

Speaker 3 (43:20):
Hand all right, So tera we are, Hey, we are
towards the end of this conversation. Is there anything else
that you would love to share with our listeners and
also let them know where they can find you at
the stage is joys.

Speaker 5 (43:35):
Yeah, I guess what I would say if I were
to leave some big nugget of information is knowing that
every single day that you wake up, if you just
take a second to pause before you go about your day.
And I know that you've heard it before, so I
won't I won't grind on the whole phone thing of
leaving your phone to the wayside, but just take a

(43:56):
moment to be present with yourself and ask yourself who
you're going to show up as today? Who will you
show up as today? And what's her name? When you
claim your name, that is where you get to your
most authentic space. And every morning, when I sit on
the edge of the bed and I say who am

(44:16):
I going to show up as today and I say Tara,
that brings me into the core of me, and it
makes me pause and ask how would Tara show up today?
And that allows me to take my first step as me,
not who my husband would like me to be, not
who my boys would prefer me to be, or my dogs,

(44:37):
or my chickens or the rest of the world. I'm
taking my steps out of that room as me, every
single step of the way. And that's a very strong
path to start your morning right away, and it follows you.
It follows you, and then I would say. The next
thing I'd ask you to do is some power statements
in the mirror. Very first thing, I love you, I'm
proud of you. Whatever statement you need, including your name,

(45:00):
that will continue yourself through the rest of the day
being fully transparently your authentic self. And if you've enjoyed
this conversation, I know you've enjoyed, miss Naomi, but if
you've enjoyed me as well in this space, you can
definitely find me. You know, I'll just be authentic ron
reel and say, it's kind of a crazy journey of
finding me on social media, but that's what happens when

(45:22):
you're an identity coach because Instagram's algorithm is very confused.
For the years that you've been confused of who you are,
so you have to start a new page. This new
page is fully fully me and I love it so
at Tara dot Whisco the little period side in between
it is where you can find me on Instagram and
on TikTok is just going to be straight up Tara

(45:44):
Whisko or my website is www. Dot Tara, the dash
sign Whisco dot com beautiful.

Speaker 3 (45:55):
I think this has been so enlighty, So this has
been so much fun. Really yeah, it's so much fun.
I just just this is good. This is good, all right,
my beautiful people. All right, So let me tell you family,
I want you to go back and I want you
to re listen to this episode. I want you to

(46:17):
re listen to this episode because there's been a lot
of gems that were dropped, not only for myself but
for you all from Tyer today and I think it's
been amazing. Again, I thank you for coming across just
my whole feed, and I'm so glad that we have
croft path, I really am. I think this is an

(46:38):
amazing man. Your journey has been amazing. You are just
such a bright light, really beautiful, beautiful, just beautiful. And
to my listeners, I want you to don't forget that.
To go get the work book. You're the Rebirth Wordbook
Part two. We have a bunch of pages in there
that's all about authenticity. Your journal prompts after me, you

(47:00):
know how we do it. And again to thank you
for joining me. I had so much fun just sharing
your life just everything. This has been great. I want
you try to make sure that y'all connect with terror
online and I check out her She Rises program.

Speaker 5 (47:15):
Right, yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 3 (47:17):
Yes, it's very transformed for mation. I love it. All right,
my beautiful people again, have an amazing, amazing day, and
I want to thank you just just showing up for yourselves.
All right, have a good one bye. Thank you for
joining us on this journey of discovering and empowerment here

(47:40):
at the Season and Self Love Podcast. Remember embracing self love.
It's a continuous journey and we're so glad to have
you with us. So if you enjoy today's episode, please
leave us a review, and don't forget to join our
community on Facebook at Season and Self Love connect with
like minded individuals who are also on their self love journey. Now,

(48:02):
if you have any questions or topics that you'd like
for us to explore, we'd love to hear from you.
Email us at seasonous self Love at gmail dot com
and let your voice be heard. So until next time,
take a moment for yourself today and remember you are
worthy of love, joy, and all the beautiful things that
life has to offer. You.

Speaker 4 (48:24):
Have a mo

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