Understanding Authenticity with Dr. Will

Join Nyomi and Dr. Will in the enlightening episode of The Season of Self-Love as they explore the essence of "Authenticity" throughout the month of May. This engaging conversation delves into the importance of using our words impeccably, fostering genuine connections, and embracing our true selves. Tune in for an insightful dialogue that will inspire you to live authentically.

#Authenticity #SelfLove #DrWill #Nyomi #Podcast #May #PersonalDevelopment #Empowerment #Mindfulness #Wellness #SelfDiscovery #GenuineConnections



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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to the Season of Self Love, your daily dose of inspiration and encouragement.
I'm your host, Nami Banks,and I am thrilled to be here
with you today. This podcast isbrought to you by AKS Naomi and Elevating
Me Self Discovery. Are you readyto elevate your mindset and embrace the power
of self love? Or if youcome to the right place Each day,

(00:20):
we'll dive into topics that will empowerand inspire you on your journey towards self
discovery and personal growth. Whether you'relooking to cultivate healthy relationships, boost your
confidence, or find balance in yourlife, this podcast is here to support
your every step on the way.We believe that self love is the foundation

(00:41):
of living and fulfill and joyful life, and together we explore practical tips,
insightful interviews, and transformative stories thatwill leave you feeling inspired and mostly so.
Join me Monday through Friday as weembark on this daily adventure of self
love. Tune into the Season ofSelf Love podcast to start your day on

(01:02):
a positive note and discover the limitlesspotential within yourself. Right, Good morning,
good evening, Get after New.Today is Friday, May tenth,
twenty twenty four and welcome our beautifulpeople to another episode of the season and

(01:23):
stuff Love. I am your host, Nami Banks, and today we would
be diving deep into a conversation aboutauthenticity. This work deeply with us,
Yes it does, and this maywe are all about using our words impeccably.
And what better word to explore thanthat one to call us to be

(01:48):
our true selves? Right right?Joining me today as our resident therapist,
doctor Will. What's going on,Doctor Will? I'm going magnificent. So
this is a great topic today.You ready for this? Oh yeah,
oh yeah, I'm ready for this? All right, all right, so
let me do this. We're gonnatake a quick break and then we'll come

(02:09):
back. We're gonna keep a littledeeper into this word. Yes, in's
to God you guys number Banks hereOw. This season is self Love Podcast,
and we'll be right to Washington wellsinto two focuses on healing. Always
for me, if I look good, then I feel good. If I

(02:30):
feel good, then I share thegood. If I share the good,
then I celebrate the good. IfI celebrate the good, then I live
the good. So I can bepaid to be my greatest But I have
to learn the good to be thegood. So what does it take to
be the greatest? It's as simpleas a free, fifteen minute consultation.
Be kind to yourself and you'll alwaysWelcome to the Season of Self Love podcast

(02:58):
with me Owe Me Banks, whereevery day is a chance to embrace self
discovery and personal growth. Join Naomion a transformative journey, streaming exclusively on
Spotify and Breaker with daily episodes fromMonday through Friday. Podcast is your daily
dose of inspiration, motivation, andself love. Dive deep into engaging conversations

(03:20):
about self care, mindfulness, andpersonal development. May only brings you expert
insights, practical tips, end upliftingstories from thought leaders in the field.
Embark on a journey of self discoveryand unlock the power of self love.
Mark your calendars and two him tothe Season of Self Love podcast, available
every weekday on Spotify and Speaker.Remember it's time to prioritize yourself and embrace

(03:46):
the beautiful season of self love.Get inspired and join Naomi Banks on the
Season of Self Love podcast. AllRight, well, welcome back insta goodie
gettison. We based here on thisseason the podcast Today Today Today, we
talk about authenticity. Authenticity. Yes, that's the word that we're talking about

(04:09):
today. You know the month isall about using our words impeccably. I
have doctor will right here to helpme today because after the show a stress
up with you rank But yes,what's going on? Were you ready for
this? I feel impeccable and intelligence. Let's try. You know how we

(04:30):
always started our show. We alwaysstart with a nice calming guided meditation to
help us connect with our most authenticselves. Ready, find a comfortable seated
position and close your eyes. Takea deep breath, then fill in your
lungs there no excel, slowly releasingany tension that you may be olding on

(04:54):
too. Now with each brother,I want to allow yourself to let go
of any mask or barriers that youput up, and I want you to
embrace the present moment to connect withyour true self. I want you to
feel the essence of whom you arein your core. Now, visualize the

(05:15):
warm light surrounding you, developing youinto a cuckoola of acceptance and love.
And with this light, it representsyour authenticity, your unique aescence that shines
brightly from them. Now, asyou continue to breathe deeply, I want
you to feel a sense of liberation. Watch over you. I want to

(05:38):
let go of any expectations of judgments, allowing yourself to be fully present and
genuine in this moment. I wantyou to embrace all aspects of yourself,
your strengths, your vulnerabilities, yourquirks, and I want you to honor

(05:59):
the truth of who you are withoutfear or hesitation, because you are worthy,
you are enough, just as youare now. I want you to
take one final dey breath then,feeling gratitude for your authenticity, and when

(06:20):
you are ready, slowly open youreyes, carrying this sense of self acceptance
and honesty with you throughout the day. All right, my beautiful people would
thank you for that if you knewyou get to see themself on the podcast
is something that we do every dayMonday through Friday into what we just center
ourselves and this was It's all aboutauthenticity. Ooh yeah, ah, all

(06:46):
right doctor? Were you ready?Yes? No, I'm not. I'm
I'm ready to be present. Iam ready to be present? Yes?
You got you ready? Yes?All right? All right, all right,
I'm grounded. I'm grounded right now, right now? Mm hmm.
You ground it right now. Allright? Mm hmm, okay, all

(07:11):
right, all right, So let'sjump right on into it, all right,
Doctor Will, Doctor Will, canyou share why you think authenticity is
so vital in our journey towards selflove? Mmmm? It's so vital because
we are born with authenticity, weare removed from authenticity and then we have

(07:34):
to learn to bring it back.And it's a journey. It's a rediscovery,
it's an enlightenment, it's an epiphany, it's a process, and it
is the very fabric of our innerchildhood, joy and spirit. So I
believe that a lot of our authenticityit's foundated upon our inner childhood and how

(07:58):
much we learned to live and wecan neck with that child in us.
M. That's very insightful. Ilike that, you know. I believe
that many of us we struggled withour true selves too because of that,
you know. So do you haveany personal experiences that had like the importance
of authenticity. Yeah, My jobis a result of that. So my

(08:26):
father was always present with me,always there with me, very strong,
strongly, very devoted to his family. But it was almost a jackal and
hide situation, and so it waslike, how can this man that loves
me so much also can be soaggressive and violent at the same time.

(08:46):
And he passed away when I wassixteen years old, and I think about
how my life life was pretty muchI would want to understand why why were
you so angry? What made youso angry? Why didn't you get help?

(09:07):
What made you angry? Right?Because you're such a loving man.
And I realized because I couldn't answerthat question, I ended up being a
therapist, not even considering right.And so I answered the question my childhood
needed by becoming the parent that Ineeded, the healing parent. I became

(09:33):
the I didn't even realize it right. And I sat and talked to my
mom actually yesterday actually afterwards, andwe talked about that, how I always
wanted to understand my father's pain,you know, and so the authenticity of
just recognizing that my life was basedupon a story that I never really understood.

(10:00):
Mm hmm. Help me find helpother people, help me, help
me help other people find their storyso that they can move on because I
never could find mine. Mm hm. So you know, people say why
you want to be a therapists becauseI'm smart, because I work hard well
when makes you passionate about the wayI'm like because I'm living it. Yeah,

(10:22):
all right, I live, breathingsleep this not just because i want
to help people heal, but I'malso trying to heal myself too. Yeah.
So I'm not some magical superhero.I'm I'm someone that has a story
and I'm just living that. Somy authenticity is even in my profession.
That's why I'm so great at whatI do. I love that, that's

(10:46):
not I do. I love that, and I can diddle that. I
can diddle that. I can diddlethat knowing the work that I'm doing right
now, I mean, living inmy purpose right now is my authenticity.

(11:07):
Yeah. Yeah, and I thinkthat at this point in my life,
I can. You can hear myugly stories if you want. You can
hear the bad things I've done.That's fine. You can hear the good,
bad, and ugly, because thetruth is that I I can't run
from that anymore. I just can't. And if you want to have a
conversation, but I can. Ican genuinely tell you that any story that

(11:30):
I tell you, it was genuinefrom the beginning. Yeah, it was
intentional from the beginning. I cansay that with truth, with true,
with true regard, and so Ithink a lot of us are afraid of
what will happen, right, wethink truth and authenticity. Our truth is
going to ruin our authenticity. Butyour truth can be manipulated. Lads can

(11:54):
be manipulated. Influence often have aninfluence. Yeah. Still, between the
truth and the lie is authenticity.And I think a lot of us,
a lot of us think that authenticityis like a virtue or like something glory
is something positive or something you knowis it's right. Yeah, there's no

(12:16):
glamor there's no sparkle, there's noit's a stillness. It's that rock in
that river that's not moving, evenwhen water is persistent and coming through,
it's still still. Yeah. Ithink people that are often authentic are very
still and what they say is whatthey think, believe and feel at the

(12:37):
same time. You can tell's alignedlike that. Yeah, No, I
hear you when I look back,even as a little girl, and I

(13:05):
think as a little girl, Iprobably at seven eight, nineteen eleven twelve,
that age before now was probably themost authentic that I ever was.
You know, I think as Igot older, maybe in my mid twenties,

(13:28):
and I'm being real. My midtwenties to my mid thirties is when
I started to put on that massput on the masks because I needed to

(13:48):
be something for others, for everyoneelse, and I'm not even talking about
particularly in my inner circle family.I had to put on that mask because
I was now in run of acamp, whether it was singing, dancing,
modeling, or acting or whatever itwas. I had to become something
different than what I was. Sofrom the time I was twenty something years

(14:16):
old, I had to lie aboutmy age. I just now start accepting
myself as fifty one years old.So let me say this probably about three
years ago, yeah, three yearsago. It's probably the first time that
I truly shared my real age.I was always ten years younger. I

(14:37):
even had an ID made that Iwas ten years than what I was,
because it was told to me thatas you get older being in the entertainment
business, women, especially black women, that you are a dying breed.
Once you give us, once youget thirty years old, you're gone.

(15:00):
There is no work for you.Ain't nobody looking at you such and such.
I was blessed that I didn't lookthat age I was blessed that I
did look like I was twenty two, twenty three, twenty four, you
know what I mean, And soI was I wore that mask. I
even forgot how old I was.Literally, once I retired out of the

(15:22):
industry, that is where I startto really see me because even with the
mask on, I saw myself evolving. Does that make sense? So it's
like I was, I was standingoutside of myself watching this person with the

(15:43):
mask evolve into something. Other peoplemight think that something bad, but it
wasn't. It helped for me togrow more into who I am today versus
looking at it more as a hinderanceor shame, you know what I mean.

(16:06):
And so that allowed me to fastforward ten years later to be able
to not only be genuine and livein my truth, but to be authentic
in what I say, how Ifeel, how I'm living my life,
and even the way that I speak, you know what I mean, even

(16:27):
the way that I that even whenI speak, I can jumble up words
in all of that, but somebodythey can still understand what I'm saying because
one is the intention behind what I'msaying. That it's not talking at people.
It's always talking into people. It'salways fueling them or what's been fuelled

(16:48):
into me, especially these past tenyears, especially the work that I've done
in the closet pray, looking atmy life go in front of my eyes,
and looking at each thing that wasin my life through every chapter of
my life on what makes me whoI am today. So when I am
with my good girlfriends or with mygood guy friends and we're talking, and

(17:14):
sometimes I just sit and I observe, I don't say nothing, And usually
as a rarity when I don't sayanything, but I've been taught and guided,
So sometimes don't say nothing. Justwatch, just watch in those words
that they speak. It would showso much to you. And a lot
of things were revealed to me lately. It was revealed to me lately.

(17:38):
A lot of things were revealed melately. And I'm wondering. This is
my thing that I'm wondering. Whatis my purpose in those lives? What
are their purpose in my life?What is the lesson to be learned in

(18:03):
this life that we are connected in? You know what I'm saying? Why
why are we connected in this way? Because even in that in these relationships,
I want to have compassion and empathyand understanding for what they are going
through, and to look at itfrom a different perspective mm hmm, to

(18:29):
respect and understand that their growth isdifferent than my growth. I have to
understand that even in they're in authenticity, there's still a little mirror imaging of

(18:51):
myself mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And so and with all of that,
now I'm looking at, Okay,the lessons. What is it?

(19:11):
What am I to learn? Whatam I to learn from last week from
you know, from all of mygood girlfriends, you know, all nine
of them wasn't there, but theones that were there? What did I
learn from that whole conversation that Ihad with all of them, all of
them being together? What did Ilearn from that? What was the purpose
for us being able to be inthat right in that thing? You know,

(19:34):
because if you were there, youwere meant to be there. So
why was I meant to be there? Why were they meant to be there?
Why did the extra person come intoyou know, into that space?
You know? What am I tolearn from one of those spaces? And
what I did that to sa andobserved the whole weekend? You know,

(19:56):
I did my thing. It wentaround to being the hostess with most.
But I observed everybody as well asmyself, and I saw some things that
I'm like, WHOA, I needto check myself a little bit. And
why I need to check myself becauseI need to remember that I attract a

(20:21):
mirror imaging of things. So asI say about authenticity and taking off the
mask, where is in this personthat's my mask? And on? Where
is in this person that my mask? You understand what I'm saying, Where
is in these different people that mymask is still on? Yeah? I
usually say what do I represent inthis person? Well? How does this

(20:44):
person represent my life? I'll tryto think about, like what quality about
them represents my life? Because theyonly know me from they only they only
impact me as much as I seemyself in them. So what is it?
M hm? You know? AndI think I think we don't really

(21:06):
take into account what authenticity means assomeone that's surviving through something and someone that's
living through something because I'm because I'mrealizing even through what you said, a
lot of us feel like our authenticityhas to come with a cost. And

(21:29):
that's very interesting to think about.Right, there has to be a cost
to be authentic and I don't wantto go too deep into it, but
I think that the cost of authenticity, let's just say that there is a

(21:51):
there is a there, there,there is no there's there's no limited cost
to it. But what we perceiveit to be, we pe eve authenticity
to be, it's probably not whatwe think is costing us. And that's
why I say that authenticity. We'reinherited with it as children, and we're

(22:14):
told to remove ourselves from it toconform mm hmm, and then we're told
to come back to it to havelove again. Yeah, so there's Yeah,
I just I want to take overto it because that's because it because
because it can go really heavy,and I don't know where we're going to
go yet, because I want towait. I want to wait, you

(22:37):
know as when you when you saidthat, I'm gonna tell you it's like
a several things just wait in mymind. Yeah, with that, and
I'm looking at each one of theseindividuals, right, I'm looking at each
one of these individuals. And evenwhen I when I think about things,

(23:03):
I can think about different chapters inmy life. Does that make sense different
chapters in my life? That thereis any hilly moment for me, but
also what I think I am tothem? Does that make sense? Yeah?

(23:33):
Yeah? And that's and and andso when people pull you from authenticity,
it's because there's a because they lacktheir own authenticity, they have to
project. I mean, sorry,yeah, they have to project. And
then when you reidentify yourself with thembecause of your own authenticity, ethertority either
accept it or deflect what you're showingthem. Wait, okay, so let

(24:00):
me say let me let me saythis. So let's let's let's hold that
for one second. I had thissituation. Oh and I was just talking
about this. This was a battlethat I had this weekend. And then
I told myself, I was like, I'm not even gonna worry about I
have other shit to worry about.Them worry about that. I have a

(24:22):
good This is like my system overfucking forty years of friendship. Forty years
and this person knew me before itwas even a Naomi Thanks. But this
person only sees me as Naomi Thanks, but only the Naomi banks that was

(24:48):
active, not even the Naomi Banksnow. Yeah, yeah, and that
hurt my spe it in my soulbecause it's like I know that I've grown,

(25:11):
But why can't this person see thatI've grown? Is it because they
haven't grown? Or is it becauseI haven't shown them that I have grown?
Or have they not looked for meto have grown because they don't want
to grow? So and then thatprocess it's get confusing because it's like,

(25:34):
did I outlive my season with thisperson? You know what I mean?
You know what is the connection tothis? Because you see how you are
with them, It's like you haveto bring yourself back down to that And

(25:56):
I hate to say that, butyou have to, you know, go
back down to that space. Andyou're like, I ain't even want to
be there else here, I don'twant to go what are we doing?
And it's like, so why doyou think you this is my question to

(26:18):
myself, So why do you thinkyou got to keep going there? Because
this is who you are? Butthe thing is is that even that person
back then, you would have alreadytold they stacked. So what's stopping you
now? What stopped you now?Is? What stop you now? Is
the compassion? Is it? What? What is it? What? What
is it? Because in that moment, are you truly being authentic? And

(26:45):
that was weighing you down because you'renot being because you don't want to hurt
this person feeling because you do lovethis person and you want the very best
for this person. Mm hmm,So what do you do? Is it
them or is it you? AndI go through that and then I said,

(27:06):
you know what, I don't haveto see this person if I want
to, I even gonna lie.I'm just being honest. I don't have
to see this person. Remove yourjust remove yourself, just completely myself completely
from the situation and go concentrate onsomething else because best believe this person.
I ain't trying to figure out howauthentic they is in this relationship because they

(27:27):
still want to see you. Howto funk They want to see exactly you
know. But I mean, butbut why don't you curious though? Like
sit them in the room and belike, Okay, this is what I
noticed, and I just want toknow why don't you want me to move
on? You know what? AndI do want to do that that that

(27:51):
is that's my next thing to dothat. But my baby booth was like,
just do it on the phone.I can't do that ship on the
phone. I got to be ina so they can feel me. Because
maybe that is what they need,they need, you know, because this
is this is another conversation we shouldtalk about because some people, especially those

(28:15):
that are not healed, need permissionto leave. I was thinking about those
videos that we talked about on thatother podcast about how some people need permission

(28:38):
to be a victim. Sometimes theyneed permission to be an abuser. They
need permission to leave your life,and they won't just leave, and you
have to understand what they need.And and and I've I have toiled with
this so much because I've learned thatsome people, because they can't live authentically,

(29:03):
any permission to perform, right,hmm, that is so that is
that is so that's two of them. That's that's that's two of them.

(29:25):
That is two of them. Butlet me tell you what this is and
then and you got you got totell me doctor on Seriously, when I
when I think about that, Ialways go back to the mirror imaging.
And I know it's like, don'teven make this ship about you, But
in process I do because I haveto figure out how did I do If
I'm going through this healing process andI'm doing it, how can that just

(29:48):
continue to be? You know,especially when I you know, when what
is power? But what is power? Right? Because you're talking about power
now, and how I don't howI define pow is autonomy the power to
choose? So where are you choosing? And where are they not choosing?
And where are you trying to choosefor yourself? Like there's so many dynamics

(30:12):
about this. So am I tryingto choose? Can I be honest?
I believe I'm trying to choose forthe both of us. I'm trying to
be the stronger one to choose forthe both of us, understanding and knowing
what these relationships mean to me,to both of us. You know what
I'm saying to both of us inthat, you know? So it's like

(30:36):
I'm blocking everybody else out in thatdynamic that I have with these people.
You know what I'm saying. Itjust going from what it is here.
You know when I say I prayedabout it, I said on it,
several different things with it, andit brought me back to here, like

(30:56):
I still need something. It's stillsomething in there that needs to be said
or heard amongst them. So Ihave to put on my big girl panties
and sit in that with them,and take the piece of mask that I
have off with them when I'm talkingto them. I have to take the

(31:17):
rest of that because I'm only halfface now with them. This is something
I just realized now, I'm likea fanom I got half face, real
face and half face on whatever reasonit is. Now I need to take
that whole thing off and grab theirhands give them a hood kiss in Okay,
this is what this is. Iam. I have a situation right

(31:47):
now where I have to accept thatthis person doesn't accept they don't believe in
forgiveness because it might be a itmight jeopardize their ability of what they think
they have power and control. Ina lot of people who think they need
power and control on other people orthemselves they need more control, it's hard

(32:14):
for them to be open to vulnerabilityand repair. And I had to learn
to accept that. I needed tomake closure for myself, to say like,
hey, I want to repair,I want to make this right and
I want to do the best Ican. And I didn't do it to

(32:37):
get back with them per se,but I did it because I know I
needed that off my chest, offmy mind, off my spirit, to
know that I was authentic about howI feel about it, and there's no
ego about what you feel your way. I'm gonna feel my way, and
then we're gonna try and work itout. And mm hmmm. The moment
I feel something off, I'm notokay, And I think a lot of

(33:01):
times people are like, well,I don't like them that work. I'm
just gonna ignore them and get tomy work and do my work. That's
a lot of energy to be tryingto ignore somebody. Why not just accept
that there's an unresolved emotion and youwant to talk about it because it made
you feel some way. Oh,then they can plain me like that,
and I'm like, well, it'sbetter than you acting like you're okay,

(33:22):
And then your work gets sloppy,Your performance gets sloppy. The way that
you act and with others a issloppy, and then you want to act
like you're normal. It's not true. You're not acting at your best capacity,
which means that you're not authentically present. I can feel it. I
mean I can feel that. Andso I think a lot of times we

(33:47):
perform because of what our authenticity couldbe. It could have been not realizing
that it's actually more harmful. Yeah, there's a lot of vulnerability and trust
to be authentic. Yeah. Mmhm hm hmm. I'm gonna sip on

(34:15):
a little water for a second.That's a good m hm hm hm wow
mm hmm. Yeah, I justhad some realizations here. All right,

(34:37):
listen is let's take a quick breakand it can come back and then we
come Yeah, all right, hegot his number Banks here on this season
of Stuff Love Podcast, and wewill be right. Welcome to the season
of Self Love Podcast with Naomi Banks, where every day is a chance to
embrace self discovery and personal growth.Join their own on a transformative journey.

(35:00):
Streaming exclusively on Spotify and Breaker withdaily episodes from Monday through Friday. Podcast
is your daily dose of inspiration,motivation, and self love. Dive deep
into engaging conversations about self care,mindfulness, and personal development. May only
brings you expert insights, practical tips, end uplifting stories from thought leaders in

(35:23):
the field. Embark on a journeyat self discovery and unlock the power of
self love. Mark your calendars andtwo into the season of Self Love Podcast,
available every weekday on Spotify and Speaker. Remember it's time to prioritize yourself
and embrace the beautiful season of selflove. Get inspired and join Naomi Banks

(35:45):
on the Season of self Love podcastall Right as you go to get his
number? Banks here on the seasonis Simplove Podcasts. You know, the
month is mayed all about us andher bors. And with today's work,
it's authenticity. It's like slap inmy mouth, right, It's like you

(36:07):
said, what word? And wehit with doctor Will say, Hey,
what's going on? Doctor w Like, what's going on with this? What's
what's what's what's going on with this? We kind of share some stuff with
this word today. Did we reallydo it any justice? Truthfully? Did
we do the word authenticity of understandingit any justice? I think we broke

(36:30):
it down a lot, but didwe give Yeah, we broke it down
a lot in different ways, andI see in about six different ways.
So I think we do it.I think we understand it. I want
to make sure. Yeah, Ijust want to make sure, like because
because I feel like it was goingto go somewhere and then we took a

(36:51):
pause, so I was like,I'm gonna find out. I'm eager and
related. So yeah, well youkind of be. I don't know where
it's going to go. I really, I really don't know where it's going
to go because what I started itwith is not what it is right now.

(37:12):
It is not how I prepared it. And I'm going to be very
real and authentic with y'all of themthis conversation. It was gonna be a
little fluffy, like we had aletter that I was going to read that
came from a young lady, youknow, all of that. But I
think a sharing, just our experiencewith them has been able to break as

(37:37):
you say, break things down,you know, yeah, break it down
more. So let's say this,let's give ourself permission to break it further.
I know you said we can goa little deeper. Where do you
want to go deeper? So I'mgoing to give it to you to where
you want to go deeper with itbecause maybe that is what needs to happen.

(38:01):
Yeah. I was thinking more ofthe dark psychological route, but we
can talk more developmental. I thinkthat would be good. Yeah, all
right, So what's the stages?Where do we go from here? How
do we recognize that? We mean, like, how do you know what

(38:22):
it is? Repair? Yeah?Where where is that? Yeah? So
I'll be I'll be blunt. Wehave to repair what authenticity means. We
have created personas social media tags,blanketed lives by hashtags. We have canceled

(38:45):
people in the name of the nameof authenticity. We have allowed ourselves to
deconstruct what humanity means. Because ofsocial media edge advantage, we have made

(39:07):
people famous for things that were neverauthentic but felt good because it felt safe,
it felt familiar. We allowed familiarityto mean more than authenticity. We
have allowed simplicity to mean more thanauthenticity. We have allowed being mm hmm.

(39:35):
We have we have allowed a wewe have allowed the thought of self
help to think that that's the authenticway of healing. Self help has become
a new trend where people are noteven being authentic in that process. Right,

(39:57):
We've come to a place where everybodyhas a platform, which means everybody
feels like they deserve a stage.And who is to say who deserves a
stage? Now? So when Italk about authenticity, we have to truly
define what the foundation of our authenticity. This is a personal authenticity, it's

(40:20):
this relational authenticity? Or is thisthe commune authenticity? How to represent myself
in the community? So how torepresent myself in the community, relationships,
and personally are three different forms ofauthenticity. However, we have learned to
kind of overwrite that by personas rightor identities that perform, and we don't

(40:47):
take a time to understand what authenticitymeans to us as a whole. So
like we have to go back andit's gotten dark, and then I will
and I and I and I onehundreds will fight people for this that his
has gotten dark and it is notand the light of authenticity is being overshadowed

(41:10):
m H. Formative behavior. Andthat's what's scary about all this. And
I think that's kind of where whereI'm where. That's where I am at
right now, you know. AndI'll get into my experiences, but I
just think that that's kind of wherewe're at now. Yeah, by you

(41:30):
saying that yesterday, I took aspiritual bath, deep one, a deep
spiritual bath. I had to cleansemyself and the energy and all of that
stuff. But I remember as I'munder the water, and I remember the
affirmations in the prayer that I wassaying. It was like, be bold,

(41:54):
be authentic in your conversations when youspeak to people, be bold,
and who you are. And whenlet's say be bold and who I am,
that is me being authentic, showingmy authenticity, removing the fear.

(42:15):
So a part of why I can'tbe as authentic in my authenticity as I
want to is because I still havethat bit of fear. So when that
conversation, so in that conversation thatwe just had about the relationship that I

(42:37):
had, Yeah, even though andI heard you just break it down from
relationship to you know where I tryto No, no, no, let
me take that back. It ain'ttry. I'm more authentic when I'm speaking
on this platform right here, thenI am with those people. Not saying

(43:00):
that I'm fake with them, That'snot it. It's saying that there is
a part of fear that I'm thinkingthat I'm losing something from them, not
as like a money or nothing likethat. But it's about the interchange of
relationships that I have with that person. Understanding that within that friendship, within

(43:25):
that sisterhood, whatever that is,that we have the fear of losing that
and figuring out what's the value ofthat to the both of you, you
know, the both of us.You're with that. And so right now

(43:45):
as we're speaking right now, it'smore is that half mask? And I
just I have to be honest whenI say this, Is it more for
me? Or is it more forfor them? Mm hmm? Yeah.
And I think, and I thinkthe baseline definition of this is when I

(44:07):
think of being authent authentic with people, I'm showing you that, I am
showing you and telling you that Ihave nothing to give, I have nothing
to take. I am with you. So when you speak with me and
you're with me, you won't takeanything from me. I won't take anything

(44:27):
from you. I won't give meanything. I won't give you anything.
I'm here with you saying what istruly your present? Yeah? And its
original, it is genuine, itis right, and it is legit.
How you react and respond to thatis how you need to process that.
That's that, and that's okay.And I'm not going to allow the way

(44:50):
that you respond to it to meanmore than what I meant in the beginning.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Yeah, So you have to
hold on to that, and youhave to allow your fear to no longer
be past or future. We allowour fears to be passed in future.

(45:13):
I tell people we give our futuretoo much time travel and it eats us
up inside. It's an emotional maligency. It truly is. Mm hmm mm
hmm. My little man is goingright now. No, I took a

(45:39):
pause because I was like, weshould go there. Well there, yeah,
yeah, yeah, I'm giving apermission. This is what this is.
We cannot remember when you asked mebefore, what's an experience that you
want for people to have when theycome and listen to the season and self

(46:01):
love and when they come to listento you on your platforms. I want
that to be that you understand whatI'm saying through my healing processing, through
my stuff love. This is whatthis is, and I say it all
the time. I'm learning just asI am speaking and talking, just as
we're sitting right now. There arekey things that I've learned and that I

(46:24):
heard either you say or I evenheard myself. That's what I have moments
that come my prayer. My hopeis that anyone that's listening to this now
can also do the same thing,that they can be able to hear themselves
and be like, Okay, holdon home, that's what that is.

(46:45):
You understand what I'm saying. SoI cannot be here acting like I'm perfect.
No, I am retiring. Iam a recovery perfectionist. There's no
way I am truly working on findingwho I am and loving myself even that
much more to where I am trulymaking love to my mother. You understand
what I'm saying. And so ifI cannot go, if I cannot show

(47:07):
to people how vulnerable I am inthe process and show them what it looks
like for somebody who they think whohas it all together, and be like,
no, I don't. I'm tryingto figure it out too, So
let's figure it out together. Yeah, okay, So I love that because

(47:28):
I think that this is why Ilove artists so much. I love artist
a true artist, right, becausethey are giving you what they see,
and they're translating it from themselves intoan item and object of skill, and

(47:50):
all that is left is the thingthat has been created. Right. And
I take that analogy and I putit towards human emotion. I am sitting
and experiencing this life, and I'mtrying to feel through this moment. And

(48:12):
you have the option of either creatingthat feeling or denying yourself from that feeling,
and there is a moment where youhave to decide if you are worth
feeling your experience, and the moreyou keep denying it, you will end
up never feeling who you ever are. People are choosing their circumstances before themselves.

(48:39):
People are choosing the convenience over thequality of their love. People are
choosing the familiarity over the exploration ofsomething new. And we are tying ourselves
down in so many ways because wewere believed to only be successful by compliance.

(49:04):
People are dying because of compliance.People are taking their own lives because
of compliance and never feeling what they'reexperiencing, or they're afraid it's your authenticity
knocking at your door asking you tolive one more day. And so authenticity

(49:28):
is a matter of life and death. And I'm so so strong about this
word because people ask me all thetime, how are you able to do
all this and do the music?How are you able to travel the world
and still be a therapist? Howare you able to wear your hair like
this and still, you know,do therapy For famous people, I'm like,

(49:52):
they're not famous. They were justthey were found and they made a
choice, or someone made a choicefor them, or they han't got that
inherited choice. But the truth isthat they're all people. We're all spiritual
beings having a human experience, right, and so we have to give ourselves

(50:16):
a human chance in the matter,give yourself a human chance. And I
am so frustrated in my heart.It's just so full for people that are
just fucking trying, just fucking trying, and that's all I need. And

(50:42):
people are afraid to try for themselvesanymore. And I'm just sick of it.
I'm sick of it, and Iwant people to jump and just try.
You can always come back to yourcomfort zone. I tell people,
leave your comfort zone so you canbring something back, and I'm telling you

(51:05):
I I can't. It's it's justthat the thought of authenticity makes you want
to understand why authenticity is not beingtried. Yeah, it's it's it's a.
It's a it's a big part inme and I I have done everything

(51:28):
by the book to get to thispoint in my educational academic career, and
it's still not enough. I havetried, my heart is to be a
really good black man. It's stillnot enough. I am trying to be
everything and it's still not enough,which means life was never meant to be

(51:50):
enough. It was meant to belived. Mm hm. Take it for
what it is and make it forwhat you need. Because life has already
done this job. Mother nature hasalready done this job. It's our job
to preserve it. Mm hmm.Sow youreate your world to be how you

(52:13):
create your world to be exactly?Oh goodness, Oh okay, yeah,
yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. I'm laughing because
you know I have this same onmy where I work out on my wall,
and it's don't be afraid to begreat. Mm hmm. I'm gonna

(52:39):
take a break. I'm gonna takea break, and I'm gonna come back
because I'm gonna go get it offof my wall. So let me do
this because I want to share it. And it's funny because this is what
I say. I read it everymorning when I go into the area and
work out. Okay, let's dothis. Let's take a quick break and
then we're gonna come back. I'mgonna run yet, right, and I

(53:02):
want to share with you all becausefirst of all, let me say this,
that wasn't dark at all, Thatwas not dark at all baby,
that was something that needed to besaid, and I understood it exactly the
way that you said. And letme tell you why. It's because that

(53:22):
one good girlfriend that I was talkingto you before. That is what my
frustration is with her. Mm hm, yes, that is what my frustration
is with her. Yeah, letme do this. We're gonna take a

(53:43):
quick break and then we're gonna comeback and I'm gonna share this uh saying
with you and you're gonna tell mewhat you think. All right, It's
good you guys. On the Seasonand Stuff Love Podcast, We'll be right
back. Welcome to the Season ofSelf Love Park Past with Naomi Banks,
where every day is a chance toembrace self discovery and personal growth. Join

(54:07):
Naomi on a transformative journey, streamingexclusively on Spotify and Breaker with daily episodes
from Monday. Drew Friday Podcast isyour daily dose of inspiration, motivation and
self love. Dive deep into engagingconversations about self care, mindfulness, and
personal development. Nay only brings youexpert insights, practical tips, end uplifting

(54:30):
stories from thought leaders in the field. Embark on a journey of self discovery
and unlock the power of self Love. Mark your calendars and tune into the
Season of Self Love podcast, availableevery weekday on Spotify and Speaker. Remember
it's time to prioritize yourself and embracethe beautiful season of self love. Get

(54:51):
inspired and join Naomi Banks on theSeason of Self Love podcast. I have
a welcome back INSTAGRADI guys, nowyou beanks here all the something lost breath
insite, not lost breath, notone lost breath. You ain't even reading
hard you just yea, yes theyare. Oh say so, Remember I

(55:13):
said about the being great. That'swhat I read, but that's not what
it says. But that is whatI perceived in my mind when I read
it. Right, So this iswhat it says. It says, don't
be afraid to work hard enough tofind out how good you can really be.
Mm hmmm yeah great, Yeah,I love that. Yeah. And

(55:37):
so for me when I read this, when I look, it's say great.
For me, it's it says great, don't be afraid to be great.
Don't be afraid to be this phenomenalperson that you are. In my
affirmation, I am a phenomenal goddess. I feel phenomenal in everything that I

(56:00):
do. I do phenomenal themes.But you know, for myself and for
others. You know, I loveto be surrounded by phenomenal people. I
speak phenomenal words for myself and forothers. I see a phenomenal amount of
abundance for myself and others. AndI know, I know, and I

(56:24):
understand that why I am phenomenal,it's because I am living in my purpose
and I understand what it is tobe phenomenal. So my word is always
phenomenal. So when I look atthis, when I come into this garage
and go to that, that iswhat pushes me. And you know,

(56:45):
and not afraid of being that nolonger allowing anyone to put me into this
box, but understanding that there's stilla struggle. I still have a struggle.
I still have a struggle with certainthings. And can I be very
honest, one of the reason whyI have that struggle with these certain things

(57:05):
is because I have more love andcompassion for others than I do myself at
that moment. Does that make sense? Yeah? And I think that I
think that that that journey that yougo on is going to need self love
in a way that it has neverbeen used before. Yeah, you have

(57:29):
to kind of break the limit toactually build the limit that you need.
And we've been so limited in somany ways. And it's just amazing what
happens when you well to mean,that's educational health. How well do you
learn yourself? Yeah? You know, you're always learning other people other things

(57:51):
of the products of the tools.You never take the time to learn yourself.
Yeah, that's a that's a laborof love. Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah.And that's one thing is that I do.
I learned through these relationships, throughall of it, even with you
and I, through all of theserelationships, I learn more about myself.

(58:15):
I learn more about what my limitationsare for me in how I'm going to
allow this relationship to be whatever itis. But also what I learned too
is I learned about what are Weall have a weakness, So what is
my weakness in this relationship? Whatis the imaging that we have the mirror

(58:37):
imaging is because a lot of timeswe want that mirror imaging of each other
to always be something of a positive, but we have to understand that there
is always a shadow side. Sowhat in this relationship that we can be
balanced Because it's all about us beingbalanced in these relationships. So now as

(58:59):
I even talk to you right now, like maybe in those two relationships that
I'm talking about, that one maskoff of that one, maybe that's the
balancing part of me that I needto seek within myself that probably didn't looking
at me, that they didn't haveto seek within themselves. It's so amazing
how people in our lives have writtenin our chapters, and they might have

(59:29):
written on pages that we haven't gottento yet or pages that we've actually passed.
Yeah, and they don't even knowit. Mm hmm, but you
have to recognize it. Yeah,Yeah, I say this next book of
mine is the phenomenal book thus far. That said, my book is going

(59:53):
great, truly it is. It'sbeen a it's very it's amazing to be
in the seat looking to to see. Does that make sense? Just to

(01:00:13):
you seek seeking? You searching athirst for life, a thirst for knowledge,
a thirst for understanding, the thirstfor love. And it's as a
different thirst of love because you're notthirsting for love from someone else. My
thirst of love is know this womanis who this you know what I'm saying,

(01:00:35):
And how I relate to people inthe world how I relate to you,
how I relate to that person.You know what I'm saying. That
is what that thirst is. Andeven though a lot of people around me
like the heck is going on her? You know what's going on her?
This is what it is. Iwould love for everybody to do the same

(01:00:59):
thing, but I understand that everybody'snot there, and I also understand everybody
might not get there. Everybody mightnot get there. So that's what I
stopped worrying about that. I stoppedworrying about making sure everybody got there,
even while king I may not getthere with you, like right, like,

(01:01:19):
hey, you may not get therewith me, and that and that's
and and that's okay because the truthis is that I've my authority is people
want to know what makes you justwho you are. I gravitated towards you.
People follow you people because I'm notthinking about people following me. I'm
thinking about living what I feel.I'm living what I'm feeling. I have
no alternior motive than feeling what I'mdoing right now. That is the type

(01:01:43):
of self love and compassion that Ilive with every day. And you can
do that too if you stop thinkingthat you have to be something for somebody
else or some other situation or circumstancein your life. Let go of that.
Let go, I let go.Oh And it was scary. It's
sometimes it's heartbreaking, but damn it'sme. It's me and nobody else,

(01:02:07):
and no one can take that fromme, right, And I think that's
something I want people to realize,Like, you don't want an identity that
people can take from you. Mmhmm. That's it. No, mm
hmm, because they're gonna be tryingto take it down, but yeah they

(01:02:30):
mm hmm. All right, Sothis is just evolved. Like I said,
it's just involved in something that Andit was good, Doctor Will.
It went good. We didn't godark. It was really about to go.
I went I went developmental. Iwent developmental. Okay, I thought
we was about to really get itnext time. We we just got back.

(01:02:53):
We just we just got back.I'm not going there. It was
our first day back. I'm like, you're right, okay, let me
let me share. You come on, let's go. Give me forty minutes.
Give me forty minutes. He's like, oh shit, yeah, I'm
not crazy. No, I'm justkidding. No, I'm mom I mean,

(01:03:15):
I'm here, I'll take it off. I take all, I take
all nine only parts, all partsof All parts are welcome. All parts
are welcome. All right, mybeautiful people. As he moved towards the
end of our discussion, I justgot one more question for you, doctor
Will. Could you share some practicalstrategies for our listeners that how they can
cultivate authenticity in their daily lives.Yes. One way to think about this

(01:03:42):
is what do I need to loseto gain? And that will answer a
loud authentic questions that you have goingon. Mm hmm, that's a good
one. That's a good one.And also while you make sure you write

(01:04:04):
that down, make sure you journalthat and you answer that question. That's
a good one. That's a goodone. All right, doctor Will.
But I want to thank you somuch for your insight today and to our
listeners, I want you to rememberthat being authentic is one of the greatest
gifts that you can give yourself.It's the essence of self love and the

(01:04:24):
foundation of meaningful conversations and connections.Oh it truly is. And thank you
everyone that joined us today. Iwant you to stay tuned for our next
episode that we will continue exploring powerfulwords that will help us on our self

(01:04:45):
love journey. But you know what, before we go off, You know,
it's Mother Day's weekend and winning,and I wanted to like kind of
close off with a beautiful guiding meditationthat I had previously do. I think
it would close it off. Wehad a great week this week. The
shows have been amazing. They trulyhave been amazing, and I just wanted
to kind of wrap it all upand leave us with this. All right,

(01:05:14):
find a comfortable position and close youreyes, take a deeper thin,
filling your lungs with air. Nowexcel, slowly releasing any tension that you
may be holding onto. Now,reflect on the things of empowerment, affirmation,

(01:05:34):
clarity, compassion, and authenticity thatI've resonated with you this week.
I want you to embrace these qualitieswithin yourself and allow them to guide you
towards a deeper understanding of who youare. I want you to feel the

(01:05:57):
power of empowerment surging you, givingyou the strength to overcome challenges and embrace
your true potential. I want youto affirm your worth and value, recognize
the light that shines brightly within you, and late, clarity. Let clarity

(01:06:17):
wash over your illuminating your path forwardand helping you to make decisions align with
your authentic self as you cultivate compassionfor yourself and others, fostering connections and
understanding and all of your interactions.And as we approach Mother's Day weekend,

(01:06:40):
I want you to take a momentto honor those who are here with you
and those who are not, andI want you to remember them in their
best of times, cherishing the moments, the memories, and the love that
they share with you. I wantyou to embrace the bittersweet nature of this
week and allowing your so to fillthe joy and gratitude for the mothers in

(01:07:03):
your life, both present and past, and I want you to hold them
in your heart with compassion and love. Now take a deeper then, feeling
a sense of peace and content,and watch over you, and I want
you to carry the lessons of thisweek with you as you move forward with

(01:07:28):
clarity, authenticity, and a deepsense of empowerment. Again, I want
to thank you all for just joiningus this week here on the season and
stef of a podcast. I'm soexcited for this month just with different words
of you know this going forward withit with just this series on the words

(01:07:51):
being us using our words impeccably.I love that we are able to,
you know, take the words andyou know, kind of peel the layers
off of them. And that's somethingtruly what I want to continue doing with
the season and stuff love Well.Last last month we took the affirmations,
you know, so we can betterunderstand on how to use them, because

(01:08:12):
a lot of times we don't knowhow to use them or even how these
words show up in our lives.Just like we spoke about authenticity today and
how you know, even through theboth of us, how in ways that
it is different, in ways thatit's some, but also understanding what it
is and how it shows up.So my prayer is that you can resonate

(01:08:35):
with this and hopefully be able tofind your way through to where you can
truly find your authentic self within thiswhole journey. That any last words,
doctor will yes to be kind toyourself and he'll always and like say he'll

(01:08:56):
always, I mean really allow authenticityto be still. It's a very still
feeling. It's a very still feeling. And so the guided meditations that Naomi's
doing are a great way to understandwhat being authentic feels like. Very still,

(01:09:20):
and you're allowing everything to just passthrough you and you're not have to
reach further or reach back. Youhave just enough. All right? Well
again, I thank you, mybeautiful Season of Self Love people out there

(01:09:40):
listening still I got a knight foryou yet, but I really I thank
you so much, And if youhaven't subscribed, please subscribe, share your
thoughts, join join us next weekas we have more impeccable words to share
with you and have a beautiful andamazing mother that we can and I say,
love life and love to you.Always have a good one. Thank

(01:10:01):
you for listening to the Season ofSelf Love podcast and we hope that you
enjoyed this fun field with inspiration,empowerment and self discovery. Remember practicing self
love as a journey and not adestination. For more information and to stay
connected with us, visit our websiteat the Season of Self Love podcast dot

(01:10:28):
com and if you have any suggestionsor questions or feedback, feel free to
shoot us an email at Season ofSelf Love at gmail dot com, and
don't forget to follow us on Instagramand Facebook for daily doses of self love,
tips, motivation, and community support. So join our Facebook group The

(01:10:48):
Season of Self Love to connect withlike minded individuals on their journey to self
discovery and self compassion. Thank youagain for being a part of our community
and dedicating to nurturing self love andembracing self worth. So stay tuned for
more exciting episodes and guests in thenext season, and remember you are worthy

(01:11:13):
of love, kindness, and allthe happiness in the world. So until
next time, take care of yourselfand spread love wherever you go. See
you soon.