January 6, 2025 • 18 mins
The ultimate game-changer for single moms: financial independence. If you’ve ever wondered how to break free from a scarcity mindset, set life-changing money goals, or attract high-value partners who see you as an equal, this episode is for you.Amanda dives into the mindset shifts and actionable strategies that help women, especially single moms, redefine their self-worth in the workplace and in relationships. From asking for raises to building emergency funds, we cover the tools you need to take control of your financial future and elevate every aspect of your life.
Click here to Join the Single Mom Collective (for less than a trip to Target)
Are you ready to level up your life? Click here to book your ONE free 1:1 Coaching Call with Amanda
Click here to Join the Single Mom Collective (for less than a trip to Target)
Are you ready to level up your life? Click here to book your ONE free 1:1 Coaching Call with Amanda
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Brave podcast Network because when you're financially secure, you date differently.
You don't tolerate nonsense because you don't need someone to
complete you.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Right, We're not in the movie Jerry McGuire.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
And the Single Mom Collective is more than a podcast.
This is an online community where we meet three times
a week live. You hear some of the recordings from
the community here on the podcast. You just miss in
the Q and A after you want to be a
part of the next recording, Man, I'd love to have you.
It's super easy, super affordable. I put the link to
(00:34):
join in the show notes. Girl, it's less than a
trip to target. Or maybe you're like Amana, I really
don't want to talk about all my personal stuff in
a big group. That's okay. If you would like one
on one coaching for your single mom life, co parenting,
peaceful parenting, or finding love again, how to use the
(00:55):
dating apps, I would love to work for you. I
offer one free coaching call. You and I can get
on the phone. I'll listen to what's going on, give
you all the advice I can in that call, and
you can see if it's a good fit for me
to be your coach. Again, the link is in the
show notes. All right, let's get into the podcast. So
you know the secret to finding a better partner in
twenty twenty five, not what you think. Has nothing to
(01:18):
do with your body, your.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Size, how good your picks are on the dating apps.
It has to do with having your own money.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
And let me get into this call in this one
high value thinking, how to get paid what you're worth.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
So the clock is.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Ticking right, the new year is based, and we're all
obsessing over gym memberships and high protein right and low
carb and how can I get more steps in and
how can I lift heavier because that will help me
build more muscle lose more fat.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Let me tell you what's even more important. And you
know I love the gym like all of us, I'm
there every day.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Let me also tell you what's sexier than a six pack.
It's a paycheck that reflects your worth. So today we're
not talking about losing weight for New Year's resolutions. We're
talking about gaining dollars. So let's get into it. Because
here's the thing. Most of us, especially single moms, single women,
we've been conditioned to play small when it comes to money.
(02:24):
Maybe you've stayed in a job too long because you're
scared to rock the boat, or it's.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Like they're flexible and they know me. I'm not quite
paid what I'm worth, but like I get to take
off easy time. No, that's not good enough.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Or maybe you've been hustling so hard to keep up
with the bills that you don't even have time to
think about your earning potential and you're like, I'm just surviving.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
These are your highest income earning years.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Men don't take career breaks, Dads don't settle women, and
mothers shouldn't either. So I want to kind of light
a fire under you today to say, wait a second,
what could I do that's bigger. This all was inspired
by a recent conversation with a client who's looking for
a new position and was presented with an opportunity to
(03:12):
work at a church and she could get basically free
income at a private or free tuition at a private
school for her daughter. She's like, this is a huge savings.
I'm like, yeah, but that's only for a couple years.
Is there upward mobility?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
No? Probably not.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Then why would you waste two to three of your
highest income earning years just to get free private school tuition. Instead,
get a bigger job that has more potential for five, ten, fifteen,
twenty years from now and pay the tuition yourself, or
put her into a great public school. We cannot sacrifice
(03:54):
our ability to earn income long term just because of
all of our responsibility. There's many things that we can
do don't sacrifice. It's because we've been conditioned that we're
bad moms. I think if we do this, you're not
a bad mom to provide for your child. You're a really,
really good mom to provide well for your child. We
(04:15):
don't want to just get by again for another year.
You want to say this is going to be my
highest income earning year.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yet I want you to.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Expect and demand the money that you deserve, not just
the job that gives you the flexibility to handle your responsibilities.
Every job should do that, and there will be one
that's higher paying that will do that for you.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I promise.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Maybe you're thinking, Amanda, Okay, I don't want to come
off as greedy girl.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
It is not bad to want money.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
This is what we're using to provide the life that
our children deserve. You think Jeff Bezos is ever worried
about being greedy.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Well think yes, no, not a day.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
So stop folding yourself back because of some outdated belief
that you are supposed to be grateful for crubs. You
deserve the whole damn loaf of bread. So first we
need to talk about the mindset shift. We talk a
lot about money mindset here, and I just I know
it's important, and I'm going to bring it up again.
(05:20):
If your brain is stuck in scarcity mode, your bank
account will be too.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
You've got to stop.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Saying things like I can't ask for a raise. What
if they say no? Okay they say no, then you
go find another job while you still.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Have that job. Now you have information, knowledge.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Is power, Or I don't have the skills for a
higher paying job, that's a lie. You are wildly capable
of getting that higher paying job.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Did you know?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
According to research that men apply for jobs that meet
sixty percent They meet about sixty percent of the qualifications
on that job listing, women don't apply in till they
made one hundred percent. If you need at least sixty
percent of the qualifications.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Apply for the dang job. There's training. You can do this.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
The only thing standing between you and more money. Is
the belief that you can get it. So I want
you to flip the script. You are worth more and
it's time for you to get it. I made this mistake,
so much of the advice I share to you is
as a cautionary tale. I took lower level jobs because
I thought, well, I have three kids and I'm solely
(06:32):
responsible while their dad abandoned us and was living in
another state. And I was like, well, I have to
be there at pickup from school. I have to be
the one there. Oh no other parents, And so I
made less, and I kept making less every single year
during my highest income earning years.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
That was so stupid.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
When I should have just been climbing the ladder and
paid a little extra for a couple hours of after
school care, we would be in a much better sity
situation if I had not made that mistake.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Don't make the same mistake.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
A couple hours of more daycare for you to earn
a better income to provide a better life. There's nothing
wrong with that. Dads do that all the time. Moms
can do it too.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
We have to.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
So look at your current job. Maybe you're feeling like
you're a little underpaid. What is it that you could
look at all right, because making more money. Again, it's
not just about a paycheck. This is about options. It's
about freedom. You want to leave a job you can.
You want to move to a better neighborhood for your
kids done.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
You want to date.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Without worrying whether or not he's going to venmo you
for dinner or hell yeah, because when you're financially secure.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
You date differently.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
You don't tolerate nonsense because you don't need someone to
complete you, right or not. In the movie Jerry McGuire,
I want someone who adds value to your already amazing life.
Those are the partners we want to attract. How do
we do this?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
How do we think?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Okay, twenty twenty five, I'm going to focus on increasing
income so that I can increase my prospects in dating.
Number one is look at your current job or income stream.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Are you being paid what you're worth? Are you capped?
Are you even asking for more?
Speaker 1 (08:31):
If not, why not research your market value, update your
resume and start putting yourself out there Because the fastest
way to level up your love life is to level
up your confidence. And nothing builds confidence like knowing you're
handling your own business, right, because this is a myth
that we've got to get rid of. But I just
(08:52):
want a man to take care of me. That'll be
so much easier.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
No, it's not.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
That's called control, and we are not in nineteen tymore.
Providers are fine, But partners, that's where the magic is at.
You don't need someone to save you. You need someone
who matches your energy and your dreams, someone who pushes
you to be better, not someone you're scared to outshine.
(09:16):
And here's what no one else will tell you, but
I will tell you this. High value men, real partners,
not projects. They're not looking for someone to take care
of They're looking for an equal, someone who has her
own goals, her own thing, and isn't sitting around waiting
to be rescued.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
And let's be honest about this one.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
No man worth having wants to feel like you're atm
So when you have your own money and your own independence,
you're not just someone dependage.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
You are their partner.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
You bring value to the table. You're confident, you're secure,
you're in control of your life.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
And that is magnetic.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
That is what attracts the kind of partner who respects
and support you not one who sees you as another liability.
That is life changing. So how do we do this
in the new year? Audit your job right now, look
at the current job or income stream, and ask yourself
these questions. Am I being paid what I'm worth? Are
(10:15):
you even asking for it? Am I even asking for
what I'm worth? If not, why am I not asking.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
For what I'm worth?
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Research your market value, update your resume, and start putting
yourself out there. If you realize you're not being paid
what you're worth and if you ask for it, and
you got to know, and if you need help, I
highly recommend Tory Dunlap Financial Feminist, chapter seven. She gives
you scripts, and I have women in the single Mom
collective that has used her scripts to.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Bargain and earn more at a new job.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
The fastest way to level up your life is to
level up your confidence, and that is hot.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
A woman with confidence and her own money is hot.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
So the next thing, how we kind of level up
our money and have a high value woman money mindset
for the new year is high value thinking in action.
This is a crazy statistic. I don't know about you,
but it makes me mad. Women who ask for raises
are ten times more likely to get them than women
who don't. You know what's wild, most of us don't
(11:16):
even try why because we're scared of hearing no. It's
not like if you ask for a raise and they
say no, you lose your job.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
You don't and a no doesn't define you. It's just feedback.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
It means you're playing the game and every time you
show up, you're getting better at it. So if you
get feedback that your position at your company they're not
going to give you a raise, then thank god you
asked so that you could move on to a better
place that sees you as valuable and wants to invest
in your growth, so you don't waste your highest income
earning years.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
So let's together. It makes some money goals for January.
Are you feeling fired up about this? I hope you
are okay, because.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Money goals for January also mean incredibly sexy partners.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Right.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Nothing's odder than a woman that is confident and has
her own money, And nothing attracts a higher value partner
that doesn't want to use you to make his lunches
and dinners than a woman that has her own money
and has her own dreams and she's chasing after them.
So number one, I want you, if you are employed
not self employed, ask for a raise or promotion.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Now make the case you're worth it. Do some studying.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
In the Financial Feminist, chapter seven, get her Scripts, she
shows you how to research your value. Even the script
of an email to ask Toy is amazing. And the
second thing I want you to do this simultaneously is
apply for higher paying jobs.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Even if you think you're not qualified.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
If you meet sixty percent of the qualifications, apply for
the dang job. The guys are, the dads are, so
why can't you get in there too? Apply anyway, do
these simultaneously, because that way, once you get hits from
jobs that are higher paying, you're going to be able
to take those back to your employer and say, well,
(13:07):
you know, I really love this job and I love
the flexibility. But the same job over here they're offering
this much. Can you match? It gives you power and maybe,
if you're self employed, or maybe if you are employed,
another way to increase your income for the new year,
start a hot side hustle. There's never been an easier
time to start your own side hustles. I did it
(13:29):
and became my full time career, and it's my passion
coaching single mothers on how to heal from divorce and
find love again. It's the best job I've ever had,
and it's the one I created for myself. That's the
best job you will ever have. So side hustles use
your skills to make extra money. It's not just about cash. Also,
(13:51):
this is proving to yourself that you can generate your
own income. Do you have any idea how good it
feels to generate your own paycheck And to know that
I did that. It wasn't because I showed up and
did what they asked me to do.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
But I did that.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Hell, yeah, that's so good. Maybe you're thinking, well, I
don't know, it sounds like a great plan.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
I don't know. What the heck. What kind of side
hustle do you want me to do? Amanda?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Well, ask yourself this. What's the one thing that people
come to you for advice on all the time.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
There's your side hustle.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Maybe it's health and fitness, Maybe it's how to train
my dog.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Maybe it is beauty tips. What is it that people say, hey,
can you help me with this?
Speaker 1 (14:36):
There's your side hustle. Start a coaching program and make
some extra money. So maybe you're also wondering with still, Amanda,
how will this help me find love? Well, when you're
financially secure, you're not dating out of need, you're dating
out of choice, and this changes everything. When you walk
into a relationship as an equal, you set the standard.
(14:57):
You're not afraid to walk away from someone who isn't
treating you right because you're not worried about how you're
going to pay the bills.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
You don't ignore red flags, and you don't stay.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
That kind of energy is irresistible. High value partners are
drawn to women who know they're worth financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
That is not a person that's going to suck the
life out of you. That is a person that's going
to add life and be like, Wow, how can I
help you achieve your goals? I know I'm kind of
being blunt today, but like, are you cool with that?
(15:31):
Because I'm on a mission to help you not accept
less than you deserve when it comes to your job,
your income, and your relationships. Stop settling for jobs that
are underpaying you just because it might look like on
paper that give you flexibility. Stop wasting your highest income
earning earning years, and stop tolerating men who don't respect
you and won't commit. Stop believing that you're not worth
(15:55):
the life that you want because you are. And stop
believing that you need somebody to give it to you,
because you don't. You're not looking for a savior. You're
looking for a partner, and the best way to attract
one is to level up in every area of your life.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Your health, your fitness, your.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Job, your spiritual life, your mental health, all of those areas,
and your money. Okay, so I got some homework before
we go into discussion. I want you to pick one
money goal that scares you, raise a new job, a
side hustle, and I want.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
You to commit to it. Are we even living if
we're not doing things that scare us?
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Your comfort is the enemy of progress. Write it down,
put it on your mirror where you brush your teeth,
and then tell me about it.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
I want to.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Celebrate your wins because this is the year you stop
surviving and you start showing up as a strong, confident
single mother that all the other women need to see
an example of the ones that are stuck in relationships
that aren't serving them.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
The ones that are putting up with abuse. They need
your example that you do it so they will too.
You've got this.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
I'm so glad you're here a part of the Single
Mom Collective. Just by listening to this episode, you're amazing.
You know what else would be amazing if you share
this with a friend. Maybe there's something that touched a
nerve and you thought your bestie really needs this information. Girl,
don't gay keep this stuff, Share the inspiration and join
us in the collective. This episode recorded directly from one.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Of our meetings.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
We meet three times a week online in a private
community just for single women who are focused on their future,
working on making more money, being the best moms we can,
and finding love again. And we share it and I'm
the coach to help guide you through it all with
my experience. You can join and loss than a trip
to Target. The link is in the show notes. See
(18:00):
you there, and then you can like do the whole
Q and anything that'd be fun. I want to hear
your dating stories.
Brave podcast Network because when you're financially secure, you date differently.
You don't tolerate nonsense because you don't need someone to
complete you.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Right, We're not in the movie Jerry McGuire.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
And the Single Mom Collective is more than a podcast.
This is an online community where we meet three times
a week live. You hear some of the recordings from
the community here on the podcast. You just miss in
the Q and A after you want to be a
part of the next recording, Man, I'd love to have you.
It's super easy, super affordable. I put the link to
(00:34):
join in the show notes. Girl, it's less than a
trip to target. Or maybe you're like Amana, I really
don't want to talk about all my personal stuff in
a big group. That's okay. If you would like one
on one coaching for your single mom life, co parenting,
peaceful parenting, or finding love again, how to use the
(00:55):
dating apps, I would love to work for you. I
offer one free coaching call. You and I can get
on the phone. I'll listen to what's going on, give
you all the advice I can in that call, and
you can see if it's a good fit for me
to be your coach. Again, the link is in the
show notes. All right, let's get into the podcast. So
you know the secret to finding a better partner in
twenty twenty five, not what you think. Has nothing to
(01:18):
do with your body, your.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Size, how good your picks are on the dating apps.
It has to do with having your own money.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
And let me get into this call in this one
high value thinking, how to get paid what you're worth.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
So the clock is.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Ticking right, the new year is based, and we're all
obsessing over gym memberships and high protein right and low
carb and how can I get more steps in and
how can I lift heavier because that will help me
build more muscle lose more fat.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Let me tell you what's even more important. And you
know I love the gym like all of us, I'm
there every day.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Let me also tell you what's sexier than a six pack.
It's a paycheck that reflects your worth. So today we're
not talking about losing weight for New Year's resolutions. We're
talking about gaining dollars. So let's get into it. Because
here's the thing. Most of us, especially single moms, single women,
we've been conditioned to play small when it comes to money.
(02:24):
Maybe you've stayed in a job too long because you're
scared to rock the boat, or it's.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Like they're flexible and they know me. I'm not quite
paid what I'm worth, but like I get to take
off easy time. No, that's not good enough.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Or maybe you've been hustling so hard to keep up
with the bills that you don't even have time to
think about your earning potential and you're like, I'm just surviving.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
These are your highest income earning years.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Men don't take career breaks, Dads don't settle women, and
mothers shouldn't either. So I want to kind of light
a fire under you today to say, wait a second,
what could I do that's bigger. This all was inspired
by a recent conversation with a client who's looking for
a new position and was presented with an opportunity to
(03:12):
work at a church and she could get basically free
income at a private or free tuition at a private
school for her daughter. She's like, this is a huge savings.
I'm like, yeah, but that's only for a couple years.
Is there upward mobility?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
No? Probably not.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Then why would you waste two to three of your
highest income earning years just to get free private school tuition. Instead,
get a bigger job that has more potential for five, ten, fifteen,
twenty years from now and pay the tuition yourself, or
put her into a great public school. We cannot sacrifice
(03:54):
our ability to earn income long term just because of
all of our responsibility. There's many things that we can
do don't sacrifice. It's because we've been conditioned that we're
bad moms. I think if we do this, you're not
a bad mom to provide for your child. You're a really,
really good mom to provide well for your child. We
(04:15):
don't want to just get by again for another year.
You want to say this is going to be my
highest income earning year.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yet I want you to.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Expect and demand the money that you deserve, not just
the job that gives you the flexibility to handle your responsibilities.
Every job should do that, and there will be one
that's higher paying that will do that for you.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I promise.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Maybe you're thinking, Amanda, Okay, I don't want to come
off as greedy girl.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
It is not bad to want money.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
This is what we're using to provide the life that
our children deserve. You think Jeff Bezos is ever worried
about being greedy.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Well think yes, no, not a day.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
So stop folding yourself back because of some outdated belief
that you are supposed to be grateful for crubs. You
deserve the whole damn loaf of bread. So first we
need to talk about the mindset shift. We talk a
lot about money mindset here, and I just I know
it's important, and I'm going to bring it up again.
(05:20):
If your brain is stuck in scarcity mode, your bank
account will be too.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
You've got to stop.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Saying things like I can't ask for a raise. What
if they say no? Okay they say no, then you
go find another job while you still.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Have that job. Now you have information, knowledge.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Is power, Or I don't have the skills for a
higher paying job, that's a lie. You are wildly capable
of getting that higher paying job.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Did you know?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
According to research that men apply for jobs that meet
sixty percent They meet about sixty percent of the qualifications
on that job listing, women don't apply in till they
made one hundred percent. If you need at least sixty
percent of the qualifications.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Apply for the dang job. There's training. You can do this.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
The only thing standing between you and more money. Is
the belief that you can get it. So I want
you to flip the script. You are worth more and
it's time for you to get it. I made this mistake,
so much of the advice I share to you is
as a cautionary tale. I took lower level jobs because
I thought, well, I have three kids and I'm solely
(06:32):
responsible while their dad abandoned us and was living in
another state. And I was like, well, I have to
be there at pickup from school. I have to be
the one there. Oh no other parents, And so I
made less, and I kept making less every single year
during my highest income earning years.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
That was so stupid.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
When I should have just been climbing the ladder and
paid a little extra for a couple hours of after
school care, we would be in a much better sity
situation if I had not made that mistake.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Don't make the same mistake.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
A couple hours of more daycare for you to earn
a better income to provide a better life. There's nothing
wrong with that. Dads do that all the time. Moms
can do it too.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
We have to.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
So look at your current job. Maybe you're feeling like
you're a little underpaid. What is it that you could
look at all right, because making more money. Again, it's
not just about a paycheck. This is about options. It's
about freedom. You want to leave a job you can.
You want to move to a better neighborhood for your
kids done.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
You want to date.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Without worrying whether or not he's going to venmo you
for dinner or hell yeah, because when you're financially secure.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
You date differently.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
You don't tolerate nonsense because you don't need someone to
complete you, right or not. In the movie Jerry McGuire,
I want someone who adds value to your already amazing life.
Those are the partners we want to attract. How do
we do this?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
How do we think?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Okay, twenty twenty five, I'm going to focus on increasing
income so that I can increase my prospects in dating.
Number one is look at your current job or income stream.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Are you being paid what you're worth? Are you capped?
Are you even asking for more?
Speaker 1 (08:31):
If not, why not research your market value, update your
resume and start putting yourself out there Because the fastest
way to level up your love life is to level
up your confidence. And nothing builds confidence like knowing you're
handling your own business, right, because this is a myth
that we've got to get rid of. But I just
(08:52):
want a man to take care of me. That'll be
so much easier.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
No, it's not.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
That's called control, and we are not in nineteen tymore.
Providers are fine, But partners, that's where the magic is at.
You don't need someone to save you. You need someone
who matches your energy and your dreams, someone who pushes
you to be better, not someone you're scared to outshine.
(09:16):
And here's what no one else will tell you, but
I will tell you this. High value men, real partners,
not projects. They're not looking for someone to take care
of They're looking for an equal, someone who has her
own goals, her own thing, and isn't sitting around waiting
to be rescued.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
And let's be honest about this one.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
No man worth having wants to feel like you're atm
So when you have your own money and your own independence,
you're not just someone dependage.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
You are their partner.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
You bring value to the table. You're confident, you're secure,
you're in control of your life.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
And that is magnetic.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
That is what attracts the kind of partner who respects
and support you not one who sees you as another liability.
That is life changing. So how do we do this
in the new year? Audit your job right now, look
at the current job or income stream, and ask yourself
these questions. Am I being paid what I'm worth? Are
(10:15):
you even asking for it? Am I even asking for
what I'm worth? If not, why am I not asking.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
For what I'm worth?
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Research your market value, update your resume, and start putting
yourself out there. If you realize you're not being paid
what you're worth and if you ask for it, and
you got to know, and if you need help, I
highly recommend Tory Dunlap Financial Feminist, chapter seven. She gives
you scripts, and I have women in the single Mom
collective that has used her scripts to.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Bargain and earn more at a new job.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
The fastest way to level up your life is to
level up your confidence, and that is hot.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
A woman with confidence and her own money is hot.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
So the next thing, how we kind of level up
our money and have a high value woman money mindset
for the new year is high value thinking in action.
This is a crazy statistic. I don't know about you,
but it makes me mad. Women who ask for raises
are ten times more likely to get them than women
who don't. You know what's wild, most of us don't
(11:16):
even try why because we're scared of hearing no. It's
not like if you ask for a raise and they
say no, you lose your job.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
You don't and a no doesn't define you. It's just feedback.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
It means you're playing the game and every time you
show up, you're getting better at it. So if you
get feedback that your position at your company they're not
going to give you a raise, then thank god you
asked so that you could move on to a better
place that sees you as valuable and wants to invest
in your growth, so you don't waste your highest income
earning years.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
So let's together. It makes some money goals for January.
Are you feeling fired up about this? I hope you
are okay, because.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Money goals for January also mean incredibly sexy partners.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Right.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Nothing's odder than a woman that is confident and has
her own money, And nothing attracts a higher value partner
that doesn't want to use you to make his lunches
and dinners than a woman that has her own money
and has her own dreams and she's chasing after them.
So number one, I want you, if you are employed
not self employed, ask for a raise or promotion.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Now make the case you're worth it. Do some studying.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
In the Financial Feminist, chapter seven, get her Scripts, she
shows you how to research your value. Even the script
of an email to ask Toy is amazing. And the
second thing I want you to do this simultaneously is
apply for higher paying jobs.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Even if you think you're not qualified.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
If you meet sixty percent of the qualifications, apply for
the dang job. The guys are, the dads are, so
why can't you get in there too? Apply anyway, do
these simultaneously, because that way, once you get hits from
jobs that are higher paying, you're going to be able
to take those back to your employer and say, well,
(13:07):
you know, I really love this job and I love
the flexibility. But the same job over here they're offering
this much. Can you match? It gives you power and maybe,
if you're self employed, or maybe if you are employed,
another way to increase your income for the new year,
start a hot side hustle. There's never been an easier
time to start your own side hustles. I did it
(13:29):
and became my full time career, and it's my passion
coaching single mothers on how to heal from divorce and
find love again. It's the best job I've ever had,
and it's the one I created for myself. That's the
best job you will ever have. So side hustles use
your skills to make extra money. It's not just about cash. Also,
(13:51):
this is proving to yourself that you can generate your
own income. Do you have any idea how good it
feels to generate your own paycheck And to know that
I did that. It wasn't because I showed up and
did what they asked me to do.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
But I did that.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Hell, yeah, that's so good. Maybe you're thinking, well, I
don't know, it sounds like a great plan.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
I don't know. What the heck. What kind of side
hustle do you want me to do? Amanda?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Well, ask yourself this. What's the one thing that people
come to you for advice on all the time.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
There's your side hustle.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Maybe it's health and fitness, Maybe it's how to train
my dog.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Maybe it is beauty tips. What is it that people say, hey,
can you help me with this?
Speaker 1 (14:36):
There's your side hustle. Start a coaching program and make
some extra money. So maybe you're also wondering with still, Amanda,
how will this help me find love? Well, when you're
financially secure, you're not dating out of need, you're dating
out of choice, and this changes everything. When you walk
into a relationship as an equal, you set the standard.
(14:57):
You're not afraid to walk away from someone who isn't
treating you right because you're not worried about how you're
going to pay the bills.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
You don't ignore red flags, and you don't stay.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
That kind of energy is irresistible. High value partners are
drawn to women who know they're worth financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
That is not a person that's going to suck the
life out of you. That is a person that's going
to add life and be like, Wow, how can I
help you achieve your goals? I know I'm kind of
being blunt today, but like, are you cool with that?
(15:31):
Because I'm on a mission to help you not accept
less than you deserve when it comes to your job,
your income, and your relationships. Stop settling for jobs that
are underpaying you just because it might look like on
paper that give you flexibility. Stop wasting your highest income
earning earning years, and stop tolerating men who don't respect
you and won't commit. Stop believing that you're not worth
(15:55):
the life that you want because you are. And stop
believing that you need somebody to give it to you,
because you don't. You're not looking for a savior. You're
looking for a partner, and the best way to attract
one is to level up in every area of your life.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Your health, your fitness, your.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Job, your spiritual life, your mental health, all of those areas,
and your money. Okay, so I got some homework before
we go into discussion. I want you to pick one
money goal that scares you, raise a new job, a
side hustle, and I want.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
You to commit to it. Are we even living if
we're not doing things that scare us?
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Your comfort is the enemy of progress. Write it down,
put it on your mirror where you brush your teeth,
and then tell me about it.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
I want to.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Celebrate your wins because this is the year you stop
surviving and you start showing up as a strong, confident
single mother that all the other women need to see
an example of the ones that are stuck in relationships
that aren't serving them.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
The ones that are putting up with abuse. They need
your example that you do it so they will too.
You've got this.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
I'm so glad you're here a part of the Single
Mom Collective. Just by listening to this episode, you're amazing.
You know what else would be amazing if you share
this with a friend. Maybe there's something that touched a
nerve and you thought your bestie really needs this information. Girl,
don't gay keep this stuff, Share the inspiration and join
us in the collective. This episode recorded directly from one.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Of our meetings.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
We meet three times a week online in a private
community just for single women who are focused on their future,
working on making more money, being the best moms we can,
and finding love again. And we share it and I'm
the coach to help guide you through it all with
my experience. You can join and loss than a trip
to Target. The link is in the show notes. See
(18:00):
you there, and then you can like do the whole
Q and anything that'd be fun. I want to hear
your dating stories.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Law & Order: Criminal Justice System - Season 1 & Season 2
Season Two Out Now! Law & Order: Criminal Justice System tells the real stories behind the landmark cases that have shaped how the most dangerous and influential criminals in America are prosecuted. In its second season, the series tackles the threat of terrorism in the United States. From the rise of extremist political groups in the 60s to domestic lone wolves in the modern day, we explore how organizations like the FBI and Joint Terrorism Take Force have evolved to fight back against a multitude of terrorist threats.