February 5, 2025 • 19 mins
If you’re putting all your energy into one guy too soon, STOP. RIGHT. NOW.In this episode of The Single Mom Collective Podcast, we’re treating your dating life like a business—because, girl, you are the CEO of your love life. Just like an HR department doesn’t hire the first candidate that walks in, you shouldn’t be locking in on the first man who sends a “good morning” text.
Here’s what you’ll learn:
✔️ The 3-5 Rule – Why you should always have multiple dating prospects and how it keeps you from over-investing too soon.
✔️ Slow to Hire, Fast to Fire – How to identify red flags early and cut the wrong guys loose without second-guessing yourself.
✔️ Never Rehire the Boomerang Boys – Why exes (or flaky first dates) that “circle back” are a waste of your time.
✔️ How to Read the Vibe Check – The four non-negotiables you need to look for before moving someone up the ranks.Dating is a strategy, and I’m giving you the blueprint to WIN.📢 Hit play now and learn how to date like a boss! And if you love this episode, share it with your single bestie—because high-value women date smarter together. 🎧🔥
Links and Resources:
YES! I WANT 50% OF LOVE UNLOCKED! SAVE MY SPOT NOW
Here’s what you’ll learn:
✔️ The 3-5 Rule – Why you should always have multiple dating prospects and how it keeps you from over-investing too soon.
✔️ Slow to Hire, Fast to Fire – How to identify red flags early and cut the wrong guys loose without second-guessing yourself.
✔️ Never Rehire the Boomerang Boys – Why exes (or flaky first dates) that “circle back” are a waste of your time.
✔️ How to Read the Vibe Check – The four non-negotiables you need to look for before moving someone up the ranks.Dating is a strategy, and I’m giving you the blueprint to WIN.📢 Hit play now and learn how to date like a boss! And if you love this episode, share it with your single bestie—because high-value women date smarter together. 🎧🔥
Links and Resources:
YES! I WANT 50% OF LOVE UNLOCKED! SAVE MY SPOT NOW
- Download the Brave Life Journal and Planner
- Join the Single Mom Collective
- Book a Free One-on-One Coaching Call
- Follow me on Instagram @therealamandacarroll Daily Inspiration
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Brave podcast Network. You're the CEO of your love life,
and as the CEO, you also need to have a
really good HR department because your company is going to
thrive based on who they hire, and so we need
to be very careful. So any good HR department knows
you got to be slow to hire and fast to fire.
(00:21):
I want you to remember those things in your dating life.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Are you a single mom ready to take back your power,
attract the love you deserve, and create the life you've
always wanted. Here in the right place, girl, Welcome to
the Single Mom Collective Podcast, where we ditch the struggle
mindset and step into success, love, and financial freedom. This
is the space where single mothers can come to break
toxic cycles, level up your confidence, and unlock your next
(00:46):
chapter on your terms. No more settling, no more feeling stock.
It's time to rewrite your story.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Every week, I'm.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Going to bring you raw, real, unfiltered conversations about dating, mindset,
money and healing. Expert strategies, powerful mindset shifts, and real
life success stories from women.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Just like you've transformed their lives.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
You can subscribe now and make sure you step into
your next level.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
And hey, if you love this episode. I'd love it
if you.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Could share it with a friend who needs to hear
this message, because together we rise. This Valentine's Day, I've
got something special for you.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
It's the Galantines Special. Give yourself the gift of making this.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
The last Valentine's Day your single for a limited time only.
Love Unlocked, the breakthrough program that teaches single moms how
to find high value love and build an unbreakable mindset.
It's half off because I want to see you thrive
when you join Love Unlocked. I'm also going to give
you three months free inside the Single Mom Collective.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
This is also not just a podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
It's an exclusive VIP community of driven, high value women
who are ready to manifest the love and the life
they deserve and meet live together three times a week
for teaching in Q and a Inside Love Unlocked, you're
going to learn how to break free from your toxic
relationship patterns, the exact steps to attract a high value partner,
(02:12):
the mindset shift you need to date with confidence, and
how to become the prize and never ever settle again.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
This is your year.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Love is not a fairy tale, it's a skill, and
I'm going to teach you exactly how to get it.
So just go to the show notes, click that link
that says love Unlocked Special and grab your spot now
before this offer disappears by Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
And girl, don't keep this to yourself.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Tag your bestie who needs this, and you guys can
do it together because twenty twenty five is the year
you find the love you.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Deserved in the first place. How do you manage your
dating roster? So when I say roster, I mean I
feel like when you're just on the apps and you're
just starting and you're starting to meet people you don't
need to do just want to time. It's best if
you have at least three to five that you're talking
to on the apps or you're planning to meet, or
(03:07):
even if you've.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Met once then because it really helps you not get
way too excited about one person and then when you
do that, you tend to overlook.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Possible red flags because you really want that one to work.
So we need at least three to five. That's what
I talk about when I say roster. So we got
to have the dating roster. I want you to imagine
you're the CEO of your love life, right, there's no
one else in charge. We're not doing arranged relationships here.
And think of this as this is your business and
(03:41):
as the CEO. You also need to have a really
good HR department because your company is going to thrive
based on who they hire, and so we need to
be very careful. So any good HR dement department knows
you got to be slow to hire and fast to fire.
I want you to remember those things in your dating life.
(04:01):
Slow to hire, don't go exclusive too soon, and also
don't mentally be one hundred percent all in just because
somebody was messaging you and super cute on the app
and picked the perfect restaurant to meet at for the
first date, and when you haven't even met them in
real life, we're still going to like, just chill, We're good,
(04:23):
chill and take this a little bit slower, right, So
we're going to be slow to hire. We're going to
make them go to at least three dates before we're
like okay, Like, I know you're into them, a no
after date one or two, but we're going to give
them at least three before we're like, Okay, I want
to get rid of the rest of my roster. Okay,
we're just going to keep it going because it again,
it helps you make a better decision. And there's some
(04:44):
of you that got rid of somebody too quick and
want to go back right because people fall off for
reasons that we don't know. Because we're looking and paying
attention to the four keys of a healthy partner on
each subsect, on each date, and be fat If he
is not passing the vibe check, we got to cut
(05:05):
him loose fast. If he says something that you're like
that's kind of offensive, if he treats someone at a
restaurant inappropriately, or if he even just shows something that's like, oh,
that's probably not a good match, Like he doesn't ever
doesn't like kids and I have kids, Like, that's not
going to work out. I don't care how great he
(05:26):
looks or you know how much fun he was. If
there's a huge thing that you guys differ on, then
we got to be fast a fire because that he's
taken up a slot on the roster that's not going
to work out. So we get rid of that slot.
We put another candidate right in that slot and never rehire.
(05:48):
I call these the Boomerang boys. We're high value women.
We don't have time. There are no second chances because
very often if someone that you match with all of
a sudden disappears, or maybe you've been out on a
date with them and for whatever reason, the communication stopped,
and then two weeks later, three weeks later, a month later,
(06:11):
they drop back into your DMS, or they drop back
into your text messages. Hey, what's up. That means you
were a plan B. Right, he had a Plan A,
that Plan A didn't work out, and now he's going
back through his old roster to see who he can
get back on it. And that's not who we are.
Because if someone lets you go once, they're going to
let you go twice. And we don't need to have
(06:32):
our heartbroken again. We've already been through enough. So here's
the rules. Your roster. Three to five people on your roster.
We're slow to hire them, we're paying attention for three dates,
or fast to fire as soon as they say something
they were like, wait a second, we move forward and
fill that slot, and we never rehire and listen to
(06:54):
a boomerang guy. Here's why they're like, that's kind of
a cup road, Amanda. Well, you deserve better when you
treat dating apps. Like the hiring process. Like a smart CEO,
you're protecting your heart and your family and you keep
(07:15):
your standard sky high where they belong because even if
your children aren't leading this person yet, the last thing
they need is mom to be sad in a bad
mood during their time with you, because you just got
your heartbroken by somebody.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
That's why we want to be very careful of who
we let in. Just like if you're hiring somebody for
your business, you want to be really careful because if
you hire the wrong person, that could spoil your business
and you could lose money or even lose your business,
and that's not what we want to do. So we
want to take our time. So one of the things
(07:50):
we're like, okay, well how do I know if I'm
ready to fire them or hire them? Right? Keeping those
three to five matches super important. We've got to make
sure that we're doing that. So maybe you're thinking, well,
what you like? How how it's hard? So date number one,
(08:10):
they're showing their resume, right, this is their best behavior.
So if they're on their best behavior and something's not
quite right, girl fast to fire right, because it's not
going to get any better than Date number one, best behavior,
They were on their best out but their best shoes,
so are you, And they've got their game face. On
(08:32):
date two, maybe if you're like, okay, best behavior, that
was great. Resume number one. Date two, you're starting to
see a couple of cracks in the sasade. Maybe they
have to cancel, they're late, they change their mind, they
change the plan, or they're not really communicated in between
date one and date two, and you're starting to think,
(08:53):
maybe I'm not like high on his roster, what's happening here?
And then date three, the real hymns starts peaking out,
and that's when you can make a really informed decision,
and maybe all three dates are amazing and all you
want to do is get rid of your roster. Great,
you gave them the three dates, the three date minimum
before going exclusive. And while you're doing this, you want
(09:17):
to keep dating others. There's nothing wrong with that because
remember you're acting as the CEO of your love life,
and CEOs they do not put all their chips on
one candidate. Right, you have multiple people they're interviewing for
a big job to get the best one, and you
go to multiple interviews right in order to even get
that job, and experiencing multiple different scenarios with that person
(09:41):
to see if there's any cracks. So you always have
those three to five solid mashes on rotation. That way,
you don't over invest in someone too soon who might
not be worth it. Options. We want options, So how
do you know if you need to be that to
fire at this person? It's like a vibe check, you
(10:05):
know what I mean, or as my teenager would say,
it's like an aura thing. Really, what's the aura? What's
the vibe that he's giving off? How is he making
you feel? Go back to your list from Love Unlocked?
Is it the list of how you want to feel?
Or is there stuff going on on how you don't
want to feel? You're feeling anxious, uncertain? And really check that.
(10:28):
Some of the key things to look for respectful, right,
of course? Does he treat you and others with kindness,
especially the others. If he's not, then we have to
be fast to fire. If he's teasing you and hurting
your feelings already, we've got to move on because this
is still best behavior mode. Consistent Is he consistent? Is
(10:52):
he texting? Is he showing up? Is he following through?
On his promises. Ghosts don't get hired. If he's not
communicating changing things, then be fast to fires. You can
have someone in that slot on your roster that is
all in and giving you all the attention that you deserve.
And the third is aligned values. Does he want the
(11:13):
same thing as you? You know, the magic bonus question
on the four keys is, hey, what are you looking for?
And if he's like, I don't really know, I'm just
looking to have some fun and you're wanting a long term,
committed relationship, then okay, there's nothing wrong with him. There's
nothing wrong with you. Thanks for letting me know. This
isn't going to work. You don't want to be like
I'm the one that's going to change him. Does that
(11:34):
ever work?
Speaker 4 (11:35):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:36):
You don't want to be keep dating someone for a
month thinking well, they'll change their mind for me. If
he told you whoho he is, believe him. If he's
just looking for fun and you want something more, that
needs to be a fast to fire situation or number
four makes you feel amazing, that's what you want. If
(12:00):
he's leaving you confused, if he's making you feel uncomfortable
in any way, then you have to be fastified, because again,
if he's doing that on best behavior, it doesn't get
any better. And that's okay. We're like, thanks for letting
me know early. I'm just going to replace you on
my roster. Right If they're messing up during the best
(12:23):
behavior probation period of the first three dates, it's only
going to be downhill from there. So you want to
cut your losses and just swipe on. It's okay, and
be thankful for the great dates. And let's talk about
rehiring and why we never want to rehire. So you
were really excited about it, and then for some reason
it didn't work out. He got busy, you got busy,
(12:45):
you lost connections, or you were just like you fastifired
him and he's trying to come back, or he fastified
to you and he's trying to come back. It's because
his Plan A didn't work out and your plan B.
But you aren't nobody's backup plan. If he left once,
you could leave again. So those kind of guys, block
(13:05):
them from your phone and move on because you don't
want that message coming up when you're on another date
or you're on someone that's number A on your roster.
You deserve someone who knows you're worth it. From date one,
the moment a man shows you he's unsure about you,
believe him. We want someone it's sure. We don't do
(13:30):
reruns in HR, right, we don't fire someone, and then
all of a sudden the next month like, oh, actually
it's okay. You said you were sorry, and we're going
to rehire you. No, no, no company does that, No
successful company does that. You want someone that's sure about you,
and you don't want to be put in the place
where you feel like you're having to convince someone to
pick you. That's a terrible place to be. Really, loving
(13:52):
yourself is the holy Girl of happiness, and so the
more we love ourselves, the more love we can give.
And especially if you're in a time where you feel
like you're lacking love and you're looking for that person,
is to look for the abundance of love around you.
It's like, you know, I've lived in the same little
community now for gosh fourteen years and gone to the
(14:17):
same grocery store, my kids will go to the same schools.
At this point, it's like I always run into people
I know, and and the more love I can share
with other people, the more I can just be kind
and love. I think, the more it opens us up
to experiencing that love, like just notice the love everywhere,
(14:40):
and it's like a magnetic thing that comes to you.
There's this young girl, her name is Mattie.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
She works at my grocery store that's right down the street,
and she has special needs and she's a bagger and
she's always she Whenever I see her, she shows me
her pictures that she's drawn and on her phone that
she ducks and she wants to show me like and
she's like six foot tall. She's so tall, and she
(15:09):
loves me. Every time I come into that store and
she gets it. She lights up and she tells me
how many times she's watched the musical Wicked. And every
time I see her now, I'm just like, hey, Mattie,
just love you.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Have a great day. She goes, I love you too.
And I think the more maybe we're sending out that
vibe to everybody, the more we get it back, and
the more we practice being open to love ourselves again.
It's just like when you want a new car, like
you want a new like for me like Ford Bronco,
and then like all of a sudden, all I see
everywhere or freaking Ford Broncos. And so it's like, you
(15:47):
want to experience real love, just start noticing people in love,
people holding hands, people expressing love, people being kind, and
then giving that love out to other people. Noticed there
is an abundance of different types of love, and let
me just soak all this in because the more we
(16:08):
see it, the more it comes directly to us. It
was really deep love. Thought and my little friend Mattie
at the grocery store, but she's awesome and I every
year I get her a birthday gift. I get her
flowers for her birthday, and she gets because she tells everybody.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
When it's her birthday, and she will let you know
a month ahead of time. It's on my calendar now.
But it's really fun to give someone love. It's the
best thing in the world.
Speaker 6 (16:40):
And so often, sorry I could get military hide. When
we first get divorced or we have this huge breakup,
we're so lacking that feeling and it's like heartbreaking, and
so then it's almost like we turn the switch off
because we.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Can't deal with the fact that it's not there, and
then we have to like fire it up again. It's
like the pilot light that got out.
Speaker 7 (17:08):
At home and the house is cold and you have
to warm up the pilot light and start the heater
to get things going again, right, And.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
So it's just like you're just warming up.
Speaker 7 (17:18):
But just like fool in your life, can you just
do extra things of love for because there's a lot
of women it breaks my heart. The ones I can't
help it are still And I was this way for
a while, bitter and angry and nobody's good.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
But you're not. That you're here, right?
Speaker 8 (17:37):
And then I would practice, and I would listen to
meditations as I went to bed about calling in great
love and experiencing great love and reading books about love.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
And then once we practice that, I believe it comes
to us and we're just warming back up again for it.
I don't know argue, but I would rather live most
of my life experiencing all different types of love and
being better and angry. WHOA that was powerful.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
If this episode hit home for you, If you felt
that shift, then do not just go back to life
as usual, girl, take action. First, make sure you're subscribed
to this podcast so you don't miss any of the
coming episodes, because let me tell you this, is just
the beginning for you. And second, if this episode little
fire in you girl, share it with a friend.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Don't keep this breakthrough to yourself.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Text it to your bestie, drop it in your mom
group chat, or post it on Instagram Stories and tag
me at the real Amanda Carrol.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Let's get this message to every single mom who needs
to hear it.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
And before we go, I need you to know about
something big for Gallantines. Love Unlocked, my game changing dating
and confidence program is fifty percent off for Valentine's Day
and when you join, I'm giving you three months free
inside the Single Mom Collective. You're getting an entire community
of high value women, single moms just like you who
(19:05):
get it around you, plus the step by step blueprint
to finally attract the love that you deserve. But this
offer is gone in a few days. It expires on
Valentine's Day. This is my effort to helping you make
this your last Valentine's Day single, So don't wait. Just
go to the show notes and click on the link
Valentine's Day offer for Love Unlocked right now and grab
(19:26):
your spot. You get to choose what happens next. Are
you staying stuck? In old patterns or are you stepping
into your power. I know what I want for you,
the question is do you girl. So go grab a
Love Unlocked now before this deal is done, and I'll
see you next time. Inside the Single Mom Collective
Brave podcast Network. You're the CEO of your love life,
and as the CEO, you also need to have a
really good HR department because your company is going to
thrive based on who they hire, and so we need
to be very careful. So any good HR department knows
you got to be slow to hire and fast to fire.
(00:21):
I want you to remember those things in your dating life.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Are you a single mom ready to take back your power,
attract the love you deserve, and create the life you've
always wanted. Here in the right place, girl, Welcome to
the Single Mom Collective Podcast, where we ditch the struggle
mindset and step into success, love, and financial freedom. This
is the space where single mothers can come to break
toxic cycles, level up your confidence, and unlock your next
(00:46):
chapter on your terms. No more settling, no more feeling stock.
It's time to rewrite your story.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Every week, I'm.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Going to bring you raw, real, unfiltered conversations about dating, mindset,
money and healing. Expert strategies, powerful mindset shifts, and real
life success stories from women.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Just like you've transformed their lives.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
You can subscribe now and make sure you step into
your next level.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
And hey, if you love this episode. I'd love it
if you.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Could share it with a friend who needs to hear
this message, because together we rise. This Valentine's Day, I've
got something special for you.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
It's the Galantines Special. Give yourself the gift of making this.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
The last Valentine's Day your single for a limited time only.
Love Unlocked, the breakthrough program that teaches single moms how
to find high value love and build an unbreakable mindset.
It's half off because I want to see you thrive
when you join Love Unlocked. I'm also going to give
you three months free inside the Single Mom Collective.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
This is also not just a podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
It's an exclusive VIP community of driven, high value women
who are ready to manifest the love and the life
they deserve and meet live together three times a week
for teaching in Q and a Inside Love Unlocked, you're
going to learn how to break free from your toxic
relationship patterns, the exact steps to attract a high value partner,
(02:12):
the mindset shift you need to date with confidence, and
how to become the prize and never ever settle again.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
This is your year.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Love is not a fairy tale, it's a skill, and
I'm going to teach you exactly how to get it.
So just go to the show notes, click that link
that says love Unlocked Special and grab your spot now
before this offer disappears by Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
And girl, don't keep this to yourself.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Tag your bestie who needs this, and you guys can
do it together because twenty twenty five is the year
you find the love you.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Deserved in the first place. How do you manage your
dating roster? So when I say roster, I mean I
feel like when you're just on the apps and you're
just starting and you're starting to meet people you don't
need to do just want to time. It's best if
you have at least three to five that you're talking
to on the apps or you're planning to meet, or
(03:07):
even if you've.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Met once then because it really helps you not get
way too excited about one person and then when you
do that, you tend to overlook.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Possible red flags because you really want that one to work.
So we need at least three to five. That's what
I talk about when I say roster. So we got
to have the dating roster. I want you to imagine
you're the CEO of your love life, right, there's no
one else in charge. We're not doing arranged relationships here.
And think of this as this is your business and
(03:41):
as the CEO. You also need to have a really
good HR department because your company is going to thrive
based on who they hire, and so we need to
be very careful. So any good HR dement department knows
you got to be slow to hire and fast to fire.
I want you to remember those things in your dating life.
(04:01):
Slow to hire, don't go exclusive too soon, and also
don't mentally be one hundred percent all in just because
somebody was messaging you and super cute on the app
and picked the perfect restaurant to meet at for the
first date, and when you haven't even met them in
real life, we're still going to like, just chill, We're good,
(04:23):
chill and take this a little bit slower, right, So
we're going to be slow to hire. We're going to
make them go to at least three dates before we're
like okay, Like, I know you're into them, a no
after date one or two, but we're going to give
them at least three before we're like, Okay, I want
to get rid of the rest of my roster. Okay,
we're just going to keep it going because it again,
it helps you make a better decision. And there's some
(04:44):
of you that got rid of somebody too quick and
want to go back right because people fall off for
reasons that we don't know. Because we're looking and paying
attention to the four keys of a healthy partner on
each subsect, on each date, and be fat If he
is not passing the vibe check, we got to cut
(05:05):
him loose fast. If he says something that you're like
that's kind of offensive, if he treats someone at a
restaurant inappropriately, or if he even just shows something that's like, oh,
that's probably not a good match, Like he doesn't ever
doesn't like kids and I have kids, Like, that's not
going to work out. I don't care how great he
(05:26):
looks or you know how much fun he was. If
there's a huge thing that you guys differ on, then
we got to be fast a fire because that he's
taken up a slot on the roster that's not going
to work out. So we get rid of that slot.
We put another candidate right in that slot and never rehire.
(05:48):
I call these the Boomerang boys. We're high value women.
We don't have time. There are no second chances because
very often if someone that you match with all of
a sudden disappears, or maybe you've been out on a
date with them and for whatever reason, the communication stopped,
and then two weeks later, three weeks later, a month later,
(06:11):
they drop back into your DMS, or they drop back
into your text messages. Hey, what's up. That means you
were a plan B. Right, he had a Plan A,
that Plan A didn't work out, and now he's going
back through his old roster to see who he can
get back on it. And that's not who we are.
Because if someone lets you go once, they're going to
let you go twice. And we don't need to have
(06:32):
our heartbroken again. We've already been through enough. So here's
the rules. Your roster. Three to five people on your roster.
We're slow to hire them, we're paying attention for three dates,
or fast to fire as soon as they say something
they were like, wait a second, we move forward and
fill that slot, and we never rehire and listen to
(06:54):
a boomerang guy. Here's why they're like, that's kind of
a cup road, Amanda. Well, you deserve better when you
treat dating apps. Like the hiring process. Like a smart CEO,
you're protecting your heart and your family and you keep
(07:15):
your standard sky high where they belong because even if
your children aren't leading this person yet, the last thing
they need is mom to be sad in a bad
mood during their time with you, because you just got
your heartbroken by somebody.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
That's why we want to be very careful of who
we let in. Just like if you're hiring somebody for
your business, you want to be really careful because if
you hire the wrong person, that could spoil your business
and you could lose money or even lose your business,
and that's not what we want to do. So we
want to take our time. So one of the things
(07:50):
we're like, okay, well how do I know if I'm
ready to fire them or hire them? Right? Keeping those
three to five matches super important. We've got to make
sure that we're doing that. So maybe you're thinking, well,
what you like? How how it's hard? So date number one,
(08:10):
they're showing their resume, right, this is their best behavior.
So if they're on their best behavior and something's not
quite right, girl fast to fire right, because it's not
going to get any better than Date number one, best behavior,
They were on their best out but their best shoes,
so are you, And they've got their game face. On
(08:32):
date two, maybe if you're like, okay, best behavior, that
was great. Resume number one. Date two, you're starting to
see a couple of cracks in the sasade. Maybe they
have to cancel, they're late, they change their mind, they
change the plan, or they're not really communicated in between
date one and date two, and you're starting to think,
(08:53):
maybe I'm not like high on his roster, what's happening here?
And then date three, the real hymns starts peaking out,
and that's when you can make a really informed decision,
and maybe all three dates are amazing and all you
want to do is get rid of your roster. Great,
you gave them the three dates, the three date minimum
before going exclusive. And while you're doing this, you want
(09:17):
to keep dating others. There's nothing wrong with that because
remember you're acting as the CEO of your love life,
and CEOs they do not put all their chips on
one candidate. Right, you have multiple people they're interviewing for
a big job to get the best one, and you
go to multiple interviews right in order to even get
that job, and experiencing multiple different scenarios with that person
(09:41):
to see if there's any cracks. So you always have
those three to five solid mashes on rotation. That way,
you don't over invest in someone too soon who might
not be worth it. Options. We want options, So how
do you know if you need to be that to
fire at this person? It's like a vibe check, you
(10:05):
know what I mean, or as my teenager would say,
it's like an aura thing. Really, what's the aura? What's
the vibe that he's giving off? How is he making
you feel? Go back to your list from Love Unlocked?
Is it the list of how you want to feel?
Or is there stuff going on on how you don't
want to feel? You're feeling anxious, uncertain? And really check that.
(10:28):
Some of the key things to look for respectful, right,
of course? Does he treat you and others with kindness,
especially the others. If he's not, then we have to
be fast to fire. If he's teasing you and hurting
your feelings already, we've got to move on because this
is still best behavior mode. Consistent Is he consistent? Is
(10:52):
he texting? Is he showing up? Is he following through?
On his promises. Ghosts don't get hired. If he's not
communicating changing things, then be fast to fires. You can
have someone in that slot on your roster that is
all in and giving you all the attention that you deserve.
And the third is aligned values. Does he want the
(11:13):
same thing as you? You know, the magic bonus question
on the four keys is, hey, what are you looking for?
And if he's like, I don't really know, I'm just
looking to have some fun and you're wanting a long term,
committed relationship, then okay, there's nothing wrong with him. There's
nothing wrong with you. Thanks for letting me know. This
isn't going to work. You don't want to be like
I'm the one that's going to change him. Does that
(11:34):
ever work?
Speaker 4 (11:35):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:36):
You don't want to be keep dating someone for a
month thinking well, they'll change their mind for me. If
he told you whoho he is, believe him. If he's
just looking for fun and you want something more, that
needs to be a fast to fire situation or number
four makes you feel amazing, that's what you want. If
(12:00):
he's leaving you confused, if he's making you feel uncomfortable
in any way, then you have to be fastified, because again,
if he's doing that on best behavior, it doesn't get
any better. And that's okay. We're like, thanks for letting
me know early. I'm just going to replace you on
my roster. Right If they're messing up during the best
(12:23):
behavior probation period of the first three dates, it's only
going to be downhill from there. So you want to
cut your losses and just swipe on. It's okay, and
be thankful for the great dates. And let's talk about
rehiring and why we never want to rehire. So you
were really excited about it, and then for some reason
it didn't work out. He got busy, you got busy,
(12:45):
you lost connections, or you were just like you fastifired
him and he's trying to come back, or he fastified
to you and he's trying to come back. It's because
his Plan A didn't work out and your plan B.
But you aren't nobody's backup plan. If he left once,
you could leave again. So those kind of guys, block
(13:05):
them from your phone and move on because you don't
want that message coming up when you're on another date
or you're on someone that's number A on your roster.
You deserve someone who knows you're worth it. From date one,
the moment a man shows you he's unsure about you,
believe him. We want someone it's sure. We don't do
(13:30):
reruns in HR, right, we don't fire someone, and then
all of a sudden the next month like, oh, actually
it's okay. You said you were sorry, and we're going
to rehire you. No, no, no company does that, No
successful company does that. You want someone that's sure about you,
and you don't want to be put in the place
where you feel like you're having to convince someone to
pick you. That's a terrible place to be. Really, loving
(13:52):
yourself is the holy Girl of happiness, and so the
more we love ourselves, the more love we can give.
And especially if you're in a time where you feel
like you're lacking love and you're looking for that person,
is to look for the abundance of love around you.
It's like, you know, I've lived in the same little
community now for gosh fourteen years and gone to the
(14:17):
same grocery store, my kids will go to the same schools.
At this point, it's like I always run into people
I know, and and the more love I can share
with other people, the more I can just be kind
and love. I think, the more it opens us up
to experiencing that love, like just notice the love everywhere,
(14:40):
and it's like a magnetic thing that comes to you.
There's this young girl, her name is Mattie.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
She works at my grocery store that's right down the street,
and she has special needs and she's a bagger and
she's always she Whenever I see her, she shows me
her pictures that she's drawn and on her phone that
she ducks and she wants to show me like and
she's like six foot tall. She's so tall, and she
(15:09):
loves me. Every time I come into that store and
she gets it. She lights up and she tells me
how many times she's watched the musical Wicked. And every
time I see her now, I'm just like, hey, Mattie,
just love you.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Have a great day. She goes, I love you too.
And I think the more maybe we're sending out that
vibe to everybody, the more we get it back, and
the more we practice being open to love ourselves again.
It's just like when you want a new car, like
you want a new like for me like Ford Bronco,
and then like all of a sudden, all I see
everywhere or freaking Ford Broncos. And so it's like, you
(15:47):
want to experience real love, just start noticing people in love,
people holding hands, people expressing love, people being kind, and
then giving that love out to other people. Noticed there
is an abundance of different types of love, and let
me just soak all this in because the more we
(16:08):
see it, the more it comes directly to us. It
was really deep love. Thought and my little friend Mattie
at the grocery store, but she's awesome and I every
year I get her a birthday gift. I get her
flowers for her birthday, and she gets because she tells everybody.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
When it's her birthday, and she will let you know
a month ahead of time. It's on my calendar now.
But it's really fun to give someone love. It's the
best thing in the world.
Speaker 6 (16:40):
And so often, sorry I could get military hide. When
we first get divorced or we have this huge breakup,
we're so lacking that feeling and it's like heartbreaking, and
so then it's almost like we turn the switch off
because we.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Can't deal with the fact that it's not there, and
then we have to like fire it up again. It's
like the pilot light that got out.
Speaker 7 (17:08):
At home and the house is cold and you have
to warm up the pilot light and start the heater
to get things going again, right, And.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
So it's just like you're just warming up.
Speaker 7 (17:18):
But just like fool in your life, can you just
do extra things of love for because there's a lot
of women it breaks my heart. The ones I can't
help it are still And I was this way for
a while, bitter and angry and nobody's good.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
But you're not. That you're here, right?
Speaker 8 (17:37):
And then I would practice, and I would listen to
meditations as I went to bed about calling in great
love and experiencing great love and reading books about love.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
And then once we practice that, I believe it comes
to us and we're just warming back up again for it.
I don't know argue, but I would rather live most
of my life experiencing all different types of love and
being better and angry. WHOA that was powerful.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
If this episode hit home for you, If you felt
that shift, then do not just go back to life
as usual, girl, take action. First, make sure you're subscribed
to this podcast so you don't miss any of the
coming episodes, because let me tell you this, is just
the beginning for you. And second, if this episode little
fire in you girl, share it with a friend.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Don't keep this breakthrough to yourself.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Text it to your bestie, drop it in your mom
group chat, or post it on Instagram Stories and tag
me at the real Amanda Carrol.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Let's get this message to every single mom who needs
to hear it.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
And before we go, I need you to know about
something big for Gallantines. Love Unlocked, my game changing dating
and confidence program is fifty percent off for Valentine's Day
and when you join, I'm giving you three months free
inside the Single Mom Collective. You're getting an entire community
of high value women, single moms just like you who
(19:05):
get it around you, plus the step by step blueprint
to finally attract the love that you deserve. But this
offer is gone in a few days. It expires on
Valentine's Day. This is my effort to helping you make
this your last Valentine's Day single, So don't wait. Just
go to the show notes and click on the link
Valentine's Day offer for Love Unlocked right now and grab
(19:26):
your spot. You get to choose what happens next. Are
you staying stuck? In old patterns or are you stepping
into your power. I know what I want for you,
the question is do you girl. So go grab a
Love Unlocked now before this deal is done, and I'll
see you next time. Inside the Single Mom Collective
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