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May 20, 2025 43 mins
She raised twins, built a business, and healed her body image—all as a single mom.
In this powerful conversation, Amanda sits down with Heidi Schauster—a successful entrepreneur, nutrition therapist, and author of Nurture: How to Raise Kids Who Love Food, Their Bodies, and Themselves. They dive into the truth that every mother needs to hear:
Your kids will inherit your body shame... unless you do this one thing first. This episode is for the mom who:
  • Wants to break generational cycles of food guilt and body hate
  • Is trying to raise confident kids in a culture obsessed with diets
  • Feels like she’s already messed it up and needs a reset
Heidi shares what it means to raise kids who trust their bodies, why most nutrition advice is damaging, and how her own daughter called her out with the now-iconic line:
“Mom, we’re in the itty bitty titty committee. Own it.” If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and didn’t like what you saw—or worried that your child might do the same—this episode will change everything. She’s living proof you can be successful, self-made, and still show up with heart.

🎙🔥 ANNOUNCEMENTS & LINKS:

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Let’s create a personalized strategy for your next chapter—love, peace, and power included.
Click here to book your free call now.


🍽️ This Episode is Sponsored by BeeHive Meals
Let’s be real—dinner is the first thing to go when you're in survival mode. BeeHive Meals changed that for me. Freezer-ready, slow cooker meals delivered to your door = one less thing to stress about. Use code BRAVE at checkout for a discount on your first order!
👉 BeeHiveMeals.com

👤 Meet the Guest: Heidi Schauster, MS, RDN, CEDRD-S Heidi is a nutrition therapist, speaker, and author specializing in eating disorder recovery and body trust. She’s also a proud single mom who built a thriving practice while raising twin daughters—and she’s here to help you break the cycle of shame and diet culture.

📚 Books by Heidi Schauster:📲 Follow Heidi:
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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Brave Podcast Network.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
The reason why as a young person, you felt confused
when your mom said I look bad or you know,
was commenting about her body in a negative way is
because you knew that she's your role model in life,
at least at the time, and you could end up
looking like her as an adult someday. So when she

(00:24):
disparages her body, then it's like she's disparaging your body too.
Write Maybe not you didn't understand that consciously, but maybe impost.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
What if I told you that the way you talk
about your body without even realizing it is the blueprint
your kids will inherit. This episode will change how you
speak about your body, how your child will speak about
theirs for the rest of their life. And if you've
battled shame or guilt or tried to shrink yourself to
feel worthy, this conversation will show you how to stop

(00:55):
passing that pain down and start raising kids who trust themselves,
love their body, and grow up confident. Our guest is
Heidi Schouster. She's a nutrition specialist, eating disorder expert, successful
single mom who raised twin daughters they're twenty now while
healing her own relationship with food. This isn't just theory.

(01:16):
This is real and it's going to hit home before
we dive in. If you're listening and thinking, God, I
am ready to stop living in this single mom's survival
mode and actually build a life I'm proud of so
my kids will be proud of me. I want to
help you. I want to invite you to book a
free one on one empowerment call with me. This is
where we map out the next chapter of your life. Girl.

(01:36):
You can't do this on your own. You're not supposed to.
I'll show you how to reclaim your piece, rebuild your confidence,
and become the woman your kids are proud to call mom,
the one they brag about. This is the first step
in my metamorphosis method. It's a coaching program designed to
help single moms transfer their life from chaos, the clarity
and heal so that you can find love again, the
relationship that you deserved in the first place. You don't

(01:59):
have to do this alone, so click the link in
the show notes to book your free call, and if
this episode speaks to you, girl, please subscribe so you
don't miss the next one, and do me a favor
and send it to one friend who needs to hear this.
Let's break this cycle together, okay, real quickly, let me
tell you a story about how Beehive Meals basically saved

(02:21):
my life. A few weeks ago, I was drowning between
running my business, the single Mom Collective, this podcast Teenagers,
and trying to like not actually lose my mind. Dinner
was the last thing I wanted to have to think about.
But I'm also that mom like you who cares about
family dinner. I want my kids to feel like they

(02:42):
have a home, not just to drive through. And I'm
sure you are too, so a couple months ago, I
tried Beehive Meals. They send you fully prepped, frozen meals
that are healthy, notcro balanced, not processed food that you
literally just dump into your slow cooker or astapot. And
when I tell you it was love at first bite,

(03:03):
I am not exaggerating. The first night they made their
creamy ranch chicken, I actually had a moment, so did
my kids. I sat down my house an amazing after
my son's baseball game, and I didn't have to do
anything to get dinner on the table, and my kids
were eating real food that they loved, and I wasn't
yelling and I wasn't stressed. I wasn't scrambling at six

(03:25):
forty five with a box of pasta and guilt. I
was like, this is what it feels like to be
taken care of. I loved it so much that I
reached out to Beehive and I said, Hey, would you
help us? I have this amazing group of single moms
that listened to the Single Mom Collective podcast forty thousand
downloads and growing, and could you give us a discount?

(03:46):
They said yes, And guess what we'll do more, We'll
sponsor your whole podcast. Oh my god. I love them
because guess what they were started by a mom. Go
to beehive Meals dot com. Support a woman owned business,
save time and money, and use the coupon code Brave
at checkout b r a ve. You'll get a discount

(04:07):
on every single order because I want you to experience
what I did. You're brave enough to rebuild your life
as a single mom, heal your heart, start that business,
raise those kids. You should not have to trust about
dinner too, so let Behive Meals do that part for you.
You've got enough on your plate, so let them fill
the actual one for you and your family again. Go

(04:29):
to Beehive Meals dot com. Code brave at checkout. Trust me,
you're gonna thank me later. Welcome back to the Single
Mom Collective. I'm so glad you're here today. We're having
a conversation that could truly change the legacy you leave
behind as a mother, because raising healthy kids, as we know,

(04:50):
isn't just about like vegetables and vitamins.

Speaker 4 (04:53):
It's about raising.

Speaker 3 (04:54):
Kids who feel safe in their bodies, connected to their hunger,
confident in who they are. You're going to love our guest,
Heidi Schuster. She's a renowned nutrition therapist. She's a speaker,
She's an author of several books. The one really that
I want to learn more about. It's called Nurture, How
to raise kids who love food, their bodies and themselves

(05:15):
in a world obsessed with diet culture. Hidi's going to
bring you today something radical to the table called trust,
and she also has her own single Mom Journey. That's
what I love about the collective is bringing to you
examples of single moms that figured it out, that are
doing it all, that are running businesses, raising great kids,
and then sharing their strengths back to you. That's what

(05:36):
the Collective is about. So this is like dream guest today.
So maybe whether you just need some inspiration as a
single mom to like tell me other moms are doing this,
You're going to get that today in this episode. Or
maybe you've struggled with your own body image and you've
battled food guilt, or are just trying to keep your
kids fed and trying to do your best and have

(05:57):
them not have the same.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
Issues that maybe you've experience.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
We're going to talk about that today and how we
can be a good model and maybe even some things
we can look out for. Heidi, that was a long introduction.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
Sorry about that. Thanks for being on the Collective.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
That was a sweet introduction. Thank you Amanda for having me.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
I think it's awesome what you're doing. So you have
twin girls. I do.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
I have daughters who are about to turn twenty and
they're on their way back from college.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
How old were they when you became a single mom?
They were almost six.

Speaker 3 (06:30):
Have you always been into diet and nutrition, I shouldn't
say diet, nutrition and health and wellness even before you
were a mom.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
Yes, I was.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
I've been a registered dietitian and a eating disorder specialist.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Since the mid nineties.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
So yes, before my girls were born, I had a
private practice. I was working, seeing clients regularly, and then
I thought that I was going back to it immediately.
But having two babies just changes a lot, which is.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
Your capacity, A lot I can't imagine too at the
same time.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
Yeah, so I had to take you know, I had
to take some time to sort of rethink my business
and do it with you know, do it very differently.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
But it work, Yeah, it did, it did.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
I was blessed to be able to go back to
working part time. You know, I was divorced, but I
was able to co parent and I'm grateful for that.
I had, you know, my mom friends to help with
pickups and drop offs when needed. But I went back
to my practice part time or at least until three

(07:41):
o'clock in the afternoon, so that I could be present
for my kids after school. And that almost important to me.
So it's sacrificed, you know, at that time, but it
was an important choice, and I think there was a
part of me that was like, oh my gosh, I
can't do this, but I knew I needed to. I
needed to the bills and work and raise my kids at.

Speaker 3 (08:02):
The same time, sometimes I feel like because I became
a single mother, that gate that would then it was
a must for me to build a business and be
more successful, Like I ended up working harder.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
Sure, I've always been like a hard worker naturally, I like,
I mean, I've always liked my work, but yes, I
had to get really serious about making me a work
as a business for myself and my families.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
Would you change anything.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
I wish that I was more relaxed. I wish that
I had the wisdom to appreciate that things are going to,
you know, turn out okay, and my kids are going
to be okay, and that like, actually love is the
most important thing. And as long as I'm really putting
my heart first and foremost into what I'm doing and
how I'm caring for my kids, then they're going to

(08:56):
be okay.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
What I'm saying, I don't.

Speaker 2 (08:58):
Think I believed that when I you know, I think
I dressed about a lot of things when I was
a young parent.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
Yeah, I think things that don't matter that not just
single moms, all moms. It's like necessarily even what's school
they're going to, what team they're playing for.

Speaker 1 (09:11):
Are they reading the right books?

Speaker 3 (09:13):
Are they signed up for the right classes?

Speaker 1 (09:15):
You know, it's like, really, what.

Speaker 3 (09:16):
They need is just to be love and accepted for
who they are, just the way they are. Yeah, And
tell me about your journey as a nutritionist and what
inspired you to go from practicing dietitian and meeting private
clients to then really focus on helping people with eating disorders.
What inspired you to write this amazing book Nurture.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
Well, I've been working in the eating disorders field for
a while, and you know, I just felt like the
resources for information about nutrition, like really like nutrition were
so triggering to anyone who's had an eating disorder. A
lot of nutrition books that are out there don't have
that nuanced discussion of food that helps people who have

(10:05):
a tendency to maybe be a little bit obsessive, yeah,
or who might use food as a means for control
in their life. It's just not something that's talked about
in most nutrition wellness spaces. So I wrote my first book,
which is Nourish. The subtitle is It's this one, the
white One, Okay, how to heal your relationship with food, body,

(10:26):
and self for like the general public. It was my
way of trying to create a book about nutrition that
would not be triggering for an eating disabler and perhaps
might even help people who are on the journey to healing.
And then I followed that up with my second book,
which was just published last year awesome called Nurture, which

(10:47):
is the one that we've been talking about how to
raise kids who love food, their bodies and themselves.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
And this was my.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
Gift to parents from a bumbling parent, like someone who
I wanted to sort of give a compassionate voice to
how difficult it is to raise kids in this world
that's really weird about food. There's such a weird culture
around food and bodies, and how do we know what

(11:16):
to say to our kids? What do we say when
our kid comes home and asks us about something about food,
or asks us if we're fat or you know whatever?
How do we know what to say in this And
I didn't always say the right things, even though I
wasn't eating disort of professional and kind of knew better.
There were times when I chased my kids out the

(11:37):
door with breakfasts or made a comment about my own
body in front of them, and then was like, I
shouldn't have done that. In fact, one of my daughters
called me on it because I had so much education
around that.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
She's like, Mom, what are you saying about your chest?

Speaker 2 (11:51):
So I do think there's like, you know, it's as
a parent, we don't get a lot of instruction on
how to do it.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
We kind of bumble along.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
But I really wanted to create something that would help
parents have these conversations with their you know, sons, daughters
with their kids, and just to be able to talk
about food and bodies in a way that's you know,
that's really supportive.

Speaker 3 (12:16):
I needed this book years ago, so I'm glad that
we're bringing it to the collective. Now. Is this something?
So what is this personal to you? Is this something
that you've been through?

Speaker 1 (12:25):
I have.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
I have lived experience of eating, disort of recovery myself.
I have done this work because I care about helping
people through this process because I you know, I've been
there myself.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
Give me the dues and the don't.

Speaker 3 (12:41):
I had a daughter that struggled with this. That's why
this is also important for me to bring to the collective.
I didn't see it coming.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
And I think the first like don't is don't blame
yourself for you know, raising kids in a culture that's
super toxic around bodies and food.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
I mean, it's not easy.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
And you can say all the right things and you know,
challenge them around the social media that they're seeing, but still,
you know, it's we can't escape the fact that we
live in a very fat phobic culture. We live in
a culture that idealizes certain bodies over others, that really

(13:21):
discriminates even against people in bodies that are not the ideal.
So it's just it's hard to grow up in this culture.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
It's hard to be grown in this culture. If I
get one more, like you know.

Speaker 3 (13:34):
Scrolling through how to get a flat belly even in
menopause and all this stuff, I'm like.

Speaker 4 (13:38):
Oh my God, Like I just like, please, can I
just be.

Speaker 1 (13:42):
Okay with my body?

Speaker 2 (13:44):
Yeah, my little mantra around my social media? Because I'm
like in my fifties and get the same things, like just.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
Let me age.

Speaker 3 (13:51):
So when many of us carry our own shame or
our own trauma about food, how does that show up
with then how we mother?

Speaker 2 (14:01):
Well, I think if we examine our own issues around
food and our bodies, then and we do some work
around that. I'm a big fan of doing our work
around this, then we're less likely to pass on some
of those tendencies to our kids. If we have made
peace with food, then we're likely to have a much

(14:23):
more relaxed environment around food at home. If we're very
open minded and diverse in the way that we eat,
then we're likely to pass on that tendency to our kids.
If we're speaking positively or at least in an accepting
way about our own bodies in front of our kids,
then they also are likely to pick that up.

Speaker 3 (14:45):
Quick pause, We're going to get to the top five
things you can do right now to start modeling a
positive body image. One of the things is healthy family meals.
I use Behive Meals and I know you will love them.
It's going to save you time and it's going to
save you money. They are fantastic. It's zero meal prep
for you and zero mass real food. Here's how it works.

(15:07):
Go to beehivemeals dot com. They will ship you ten
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before work, put it in the crockpod or you can
use the instapot later. Come home. Meal is done for
you and check this out. With the discount that they

(15:27):
gave us, it costs you basically five bucks a serving
for you to feed your family. I get the extra
large packs for an extra family so we can have leftovers,
so I only have to use like one or two
a week. It is amazing. It's changed the game for me.
It's enabled me to run my business, the podcast, the community,
all my one on one coaching clients so I can

(15:49):
help single moms have the life and the love that
they deserve. And then be the mom that's at the
baseball games and be the mom that takes my daughter
to dance, and then come home with dinner done, sit
around the dinner table, and all enjoy a healthy meal together.
I love Beehive meals so much. I reached out to
them and I said, hey, I love you. Any chance
you'd want to give my single moms a discount? And

(16:10):
they said yes, and we'll do more than that. They
give you a discount and they decided to become the
sponsor of the Single Mom Collective because they were started
by a mom. I believe in supporting women owned businesses.
If you want to save money, save time, and have
healthy meals for your family at five dollars serving. Go
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(16:34):
Brave b our Ave for the discount. You're supporting a
woman owned business and supporting the proud sponsor of the
Single Mom Collective, and you're feeding your family healthy meals
that they are loving, and I'm going to save yourself
a boatload of time.

Speaker 5 (16:51):
I remember growing up the feeling uncomfortable when my mom
would say things like do I look fat in this?
And I know it was just normal for her to
have it, you know, hey, do I look good? And
having these conversations, and I remember thinking, don't say that
to my kids, and I'm sure accent, and I remember
accidentally slipping up and saying it, What is like the
top five things that we can do to make sure

(17:15):
that we're modeling a positive body image in front of
our children.

Speaker 4 (17:19):
Not just our daughters, our sons need it too.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
Sure well, I think the reason why, as a young
person you felt confused when your mom said I look
fat or you know, was commenting about her body in
a negative way, is because you knew that she's your
role model in life, at least at the time, and

(17:42):
you could end up looking like her as an adult someday.
So when she disparages her body, then it's like she's
disparaging your body too. Write maybe not you didn't understand
that consciously, but maybe unconsciously, And she didn't know any
different either. Yeah, and she's just a product of the
culture as well, you know. And also I think it's

(18:05):
really important to neutralize that word fat. You know, fat
is just a body type. In fact, I overheard my
daughter say that to a friend once who asked her
if she looked like fat in something, and my daughter
said no, but even if you did, Like, what's the
big deal, It's just another body type. And I was like, Okay,
I've done my job.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
I love that line.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
So there's something to be said for like when little kids,
like little toddlers like come up and like might push
you in the belly and say, mommy, your belly is
so squishy, And I think that what if we like
go towards that wonder with curiosity and wonder ourselves, then

(18:49):
nothing happens.

Speaker 1 (18:50):
But if we say, oh, you know, I.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Don't like this stomach, or like my mommy's stomach is
bad in some way or negative in some way, or
we make an you know, a big deal about extra
fat on our body, as if it's there's something wrong
with it. Then we create that message that there's a
problem with body fat, which is just a natural part
of a woman's body, particularly at certain times of life

(19:14):
when there are lots of fluctuations and are likely to
happen to our children at some point, especially as their
approaching purity, So.

Speaker 4 (19:22):
We make that natural.

Speaker 5 (19:23):
We neutralize the word by saying it's a body type.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
Yeah right, and that's you know, I think in the
fat liberation spaces, that is what's been happening, is we're
trying to you know, people are trying to reclaim that
word not as a pejorative, negative thing, but like, this
is just a this is just a body. Some people
have fat bodies, some people have thin bodies, some people
have curvy bodies, some people have middle bodies. You know,

(19:48):
we're all just different and interesting and there's you know,
there's no negatives. And I think I'm correcting our children
too when they say something disparaging about another person's body,
whether it be you know, their skin color or their
body size, that we're we just have a no tolerance
zone for talking negatively about other people's bodies, especially those

(20:11):
that are different than ours. Maybe they're more clumsy, maybe
they're shorter or taller, and we're all just unique and different.

Speaker 4 (20:19):
I feel like I need to have that conversation every day, like, hey, just.

Speaker 3 (20:22):
Remember we have a no tall I love that, and
so create maybe one thing that we can take away
right now is start to create a no tolerance zone
for criticism about people's bodies at home and in your family.
I love that, and even about yourself.

Speaker 4 (20:36):
Even about yourself.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
That's where it starts for a lot of people, right,
and we all do it.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
Like again, you know, I put this example in my book,
which is that you know, my daughter I made some
kind of comment like about my chest, and she's like,
she said.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
Mom, we are in the itty bitty titty committee. Own it.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
And this is when she was like a teenager, and
I said, you know what, that's right, like, you know right,
like I don't want to be talking about my body
that way.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
And the reality is as parents, we're going to make mistakes.
And it's totally okay.

Speaker 2 (21:08):
Like our kids don't want us to be perfect, honestly,
they really don't. So when you make a mistake or
a misstep, you just correct it and say, you know,
I'm sorry I spoke about my body that way. I
think I'm going to try from now on to be
more kind to myself, and that little bit of repair
work just goes.

Speaker 4 (21:27):
A long way.

Speaker 3 (21:29):
Okay. In your book you talk about body trust. What
does that actually mean?

Speaker 1 (21:34):
What does that look like?

Speaker 4 (21:35):
How can we foster that?

Speaker 2 (21:37):
Yeah, well it's a whole chapter for a reason. But
I think, like in a nutshell, it's trusting that your
body is I'm using the word trust, but it's believing
that your body is wise and that it gives you
important information. So, for example, it tells you when it's hungry.
Let's just talk about appetite. It tells you when it's full,

(22:00):
It tells you when it has to be. It also
tells you, like that it doesn't feel good to be
around this person, or it tells you like this is
a stressful situation. I can feel it somewhere in my body.
So there's ways in which our body just helps us
stay safe. It also helps us to stay regulated and
well fed. And we can lose that connection with our

(22:22):
bodies often, you know, trauma can bring us away from
connection with our bodies. Traumatic experiences, and so can being
told that your body's not right or that you can't
trust your body. So, for example, if my kids used
to ask me like by permission, maybe it was coming
home from school, like can I have a snack? And

(22:45):
I would be like, well, of course you can have
a snack. Is your body telling you that you know
it's hungry? Yes, okay, well then go ahead have a snack.
So again bringing.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
It back to sort of trusting that the body knows
what it needs. Love that.

Speaker 5 (22:58):
So do you think we can be too strict when
it comes to how we feed our kids when we
allow them to have snacks when they're young.

Speaker 2 (23:07):
I do think that, you know, some families can get
too strict about things. I'll be honest, I see it,
and I think I think you have to know your
individual children and their impulse control.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
In general. There are some kids for whom, you know,
if they see food, they're going to eat it because
of sensory issues, so you know, neurodivergence for example.

Speaker 4 (23:27):
But for most.

Speaker 1 (23:28):
Kids, they're actually pretty good self regulators around food, and
we do need to give them a little structure and regularity,
and we need to provide you know, good nutritious, balanced
food in the house, but then there they should be
the ones who choose how much to eat of it.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
And I think when we cross over into their lane
is when we start telling them you sure you are
you sure you?

Speaker 1 (23:53):
That's enough for you?

Speaker 2 (23:54):
Shouldn't you have some more vegetables or maybe well, isn't
that too many cookies? When we start like policing the
amounts that they're eating of the different foods, then it
makes some second guests their own self regulation.

Speaker 5 (24:08):
Oh, and we want to teach them that trust in
their body, that body trust early on. So the earlier
they regulate, the better it is for their opinion about
their body.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
Yeah, And technically I kind of believe that we're born
with that trust. That's I mean, if you think about
a nursing baby, not that all moms are able to nurse,
but if you think about that, the baby nurses on demand.
There's no measuring, and like the baby stops when it's
sleepy or done, and there's self regulation there naturally. So

(24:49):
I do think we all have that innate capacity to
really listen to our body. Again, there are some conditions,
so like some types of neuro divergence that make it hard.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
To listen to the body. But for the most part,
kids are actually pretty good self regulators.

Speaker 5 (25:06):
What do you do when early on we've got some
kids that just like, were like, oh my gosh, they're
so hungry, And then you've got one kid that you're like,
did you eat anything today?

Speaker 1 (25:16):
What do you do when you have one of those.

Speaker 4 (25:18):
Kids and you're like and you have that battle.

Speaker 5 (25:22):
I remember feeling like, Okay, I don't want to have
I don't want to make food a battle with my kid.

Speaker 1 (25:27):
This isn't healthy.

Speaker 4 (25:28):
How do you suggest a mother handle that?

Speaker 3 (25:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (25:32):
I agree, we don't really want to make it a battle,
and we don't want to be the food police. Yet
it might be important for us to be a guide
around Okay, we're all going to sit down and have
a snack together.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
If you know that, Like, your kid kind of.

Speaker 2 (25:47):
Has a meltdown when they get home from school, and
it's not that they can't focus on their homework.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
It's probably just that they need some food. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
I had a daughter who was like that too. She
would sort of like crash and I'd be like.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
Okay, let's have a snack. I'll sit down with you.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
I'll have a snack and then she was able to
sort of focus on her homework. So sometimes they need
a little guidance and structure, for sure, around eating, but
beyond the basics, like, let's you know, I think ultimately
kids are pretty good at regulating.

Speaker 4 (26:19):
Okay, what are some signs?

Speaker 5 (26:21):
I remember one sign and I'll share a sign I
caught it too late, you know, with my daughter about
having an unhealthy relationship with our food or their body,
like help us feel like, Okay, I'm going to do
all these things, but what are some things we can
look out for. I remember the day my teenage daughter
asked for a scale, and I'm like, whoa, why do
we need a scale?

Speaker 4 (26:41):
Like what's going on?

Speaker 5 (26:42):
Like I understand, but maybe I had no clue how
to handle that.

Speaker 4 (26:45):
I was like, where is this in the book? And
I need it right now? And how am I supposed
to respond to it? So can you help prepare us
right now? What are the signs? And what do we
do when we see maybe one of these signs?

Speaker 1 (26:57):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (26:57):
And you know, I have a lot of compassion for
moms who are navigating this because it is really hard.
And even if if, like you know, you don't see
someone who looks to be obsessed with their body or
obsessed with food because they might they might be hiding it.
It's pretty easy to hide, so, you know, even some

(27:19):
of the signs are hard to notice. But you know
a child who is very focused on their body and
like you said, either asking for a scale or like
eating in a rigid routine kind of way, following a diet,
wanting to lose weight, but then like letting it get
too far. Even wanting to lose weight, I think in

(27:41):
a teen who's growing can be a bit of a
red flag, you know. I think it's very easy to
get pulled into a more obsessive pattern around that. I mean,
those are certainly a couple of the signs. Someone withdrawing
emotionally as they get very preoccupied with their way that

(28:03):
they're eating or the way that they're exercising is certainly
a sign. And it's tough because at that age kids
are kind of obsessed with their appearance because they're comparing
themselves to their friends and that's just a typical teenage thing.
And they also do like to experiment with eating differently
and exercising differently, so it's hard to know what's like

(28:24):
just teenage experimentation and what's turning into something more problematic.
So I think communication and dialogue is the most important thing.

Speaker 1 (28:34):
You want to have a scale in your room?

Speaker 2 (28:36):
Can you tell me more about why that's important to you,
Not in a judgmental way, like absolutely not, there's no
way you're going to. I mean I might have like
initially said that, because that would have been like a
flag for me and my best But like, I think
that like when I've approached those kinds of questions more
with curiosity versus like a big fat no or like

(29:01):
a reaction, that's been helpful because then we'ven't been able
to have we could have like a little dialogue about Okay, well,
if you're not feeling so good about your body right now,
like tell me what you're thinking about doing to change that,
and then you could have a discussion about like, you know,
our bodies aren't so easy to change, like sometimes social
media makes it look like that, but actually it takes

(29:24):
some extreme measures to go to try to have a
different body type than what you're born with, And then
you can have a little more dialogue about it.

Speaker 4 (29:32):
That's really helpful. I love that.

Speaker 3 (29:35):
Do you feel like now I regret giving my children
access to social media as soon as I did. This
was a while ago, and now all I would do
it completely differently now, you know, you know, because mine
are all you know, my oldest is nineteen.

Speaker 4 (29:51):
We didn't have all the research or when I gave her.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
A phone when she was ten because she was going
back and forth to her dad's house and I wanted
to be able to all her on her phone or
realizing all of the damage.

Speaker 4 (30:03):
So what can a mom now do to.

Speaker 5 (30:07):
Prepare her daughter because we can't really It's like you
want to ban this stuff, but you know.

Speaker 3 (30:12):
Like that's how they talk to their kids, or that's
how they talk to their friends. So we can't fully
ban social media. So what would your recommendation be for
almost when we introduce it and how we teach them
how to use it properly when it comes to body image.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
Yeah, you know, I put it off as long as possible, frankly,
but like you said, sometimes you can't, like you need
to communicate with your kids, and nobody has those flip
phones anymore, so, you know, But I think that there
can be controls on you know, on what types of
sites people have access to. But I think it's really

(30:49):
hard to eliminate negative messages about bodies period.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
I think we do to think about it, right.

Speaker 4 (30:56):
We have to, like, we have to prove our kids
from it. We have to talk about it. Yeah, you
have to.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
Talk about We have to give them their first phone
and say, look, there are going to be things that
you see on the Internet that are going to be challenging,
and I want you to bring them to me. I
want you to talk to me about what feels challenging
to you. There are going to be messages that say
you need to look a certain way, and I.

Speaker 1 (31:21):
Want you to know that that's not true.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
That like, you get to be yourself and you are
the most important you, and you don't have to look
like all the other influencers or act like all the
other influencers or.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
Eat like them. You get to be you. And that
message is.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
Like over and over so important. I think it's beautiful, constant. Meanwhile,
we have to model it ourselves.

Speaker 2 (31:46):
We do because our kids are going to go, yeah, yeah,
they're like whatever. And you know what, My kids whatevered
me a long time, but then as they again, as
they got older, I heard them echos some of the
things that I said, and I'm like, Okay, something suck in.
So I think it's just we have to be a
broken record around. You are amazing the way you are.

(32:09):
You are the most interesting self, and you're still trying
to figure out who you are. But don't like latch
onto other people figure out yourself.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
Love that.

Speaker 5 (32:21):
I'd love your opinion on this. This is something i've
handled about the way my daughter's dress. And I think
as a child, I was raising a really conservative environment
and so I was always like it was like the
modesty police at all times, and so what did I do?

Speaker 4 (32:36):
But I would sneak many skirts in my backpack and
I would change at.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
School, right.

Speaker 3 (32:40):
But also I think in a way that gave me shame.
It gave me shame about my body sure, Like I
was like, oh, there's something wrong that I have to
cover up.

Speaker 4 (32:51):
So I don't know if I've gone to an extreme
difference with my daughters, but I don't police what they wear.

Speaker 5 (32:57):
And when they wear something that's a little short, I know,
like if the school dress codes them, okay, whatever, but
good luck trying to find a full length shirt in
the store right now for girls.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
But all I say is I'm like, I just give
them confidence. I'm like, wow, look at you love that
outfit today.

Speaker 4 (33:16):
I don't know if that's too extreme or not.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
But how do you battle, you know, current fashion trends
and not putting shame on a girl's body based on
what she's wearing if it's not exactly modest.

Speaker 1 (33:27):
Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
I don't think we can do anything about current fashion trends.
And I think in some ways that they are what
they are because young women are more liberated about their
bodies these days than we wear.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
Growing up, I had the same sort of upbringing.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
Yeah, in fact, I had to wear a uniform and
I was always trying to you know, I always got
in trouble for augmenting.

Speaker 4 (33:52):
It, so I would have to really get it.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
But you know, I think that like in terms of
I think the key is to not we don't need
to comment on other people's bodies period ours our kids, like, like,
you know, if you see them dressed up and ready
to go out, you know, you look so confident. You
must be ready or you're going to shine. I can
just tell you're going to shine tonight. You know, you

(34:18):
just seem so happy. So like again, if we can
refer to the body less and have it be more
about the energy of the person.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
Then I think that that goes a long way.

Speaker 2 (34:29):
I love that I heard to do, though, because we
live in a culture that's always like.

Speaker 5 (34:33):
You look so cute, right, or judgment right about Oh
my god, I can't believe those girls' homecoming dresses are
so short, or why are prom dresses so short?

Speaker 4 (34:43):
Now, I remember my mom said something.

Speaker 5 (34:45):
I'm like, zip, it is like that's the way it is, like,
we're not going to criticize this dress, right well, And I.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
Do think that like a lot of criticism about the
body can create shame or saying no, you can't wear
that then makes young people feel like, well, what's wrong
with my body that I can't wear that? But my
friends can. Yes, it's a nuanced area. But again, I
always like bringing it back to the whole person and
not just the body.

Speaker 5 (35:14):
The whole person, not the body you get to be you.
You look like, you feel so confident. So if you
could give me here's an idea, Like could you like
rattle off a cheat sheet and I'll put this together
in the show notes of almost Like, here's some great
things that you can start talking about at home. To

(35:34):
start modeling yourself and teaching body positivity for our kids.

Speaker 4 (35:40):
Do we create this awesome legacy for our kids?

Speaker 2 (35:43):
I have an article, I mean, the book has a
lot in it, this one nurture.

Speaker 5 (35:49):
What kind of advice would you have to single mom
listening right now who maybe has struggled this with herself.
I think we all have during certain times and feels
like she's already messed up kids, relationship with food and
shame about their body.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah, I mean, well, I mean I had a lot
of shame about even just being a single parent because
I didn't you know, obviously I didn't go into parenting
wanting to be in that situation. But you know, honestly,
I had so many clients, like I worked with teenagers
a lot, and I had so many young teenagers that said,
I wish my.

Speaker 1 (36:23):
Parents had divorced.

Speaker 2 (36:24):
So I just learned that, like, ultimately my kids were
going to be better with their parents happy and separated
than miserable together. So I kept that at my core.
And that's just the shame about being in the situation
that I was in. But I think and I just
never want people to feel that because I think we're

(36:45):
as parents were just doing the best that we can,
and sometimes we do have to go it alone.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
And that's the way, that's the way, that's the best way.

Speaker 3 (36:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:54):
But in terms of if anybody's listening to this podcast
and things, oh my gosh, I said all the wrong
things to my kid about bodies, like I would say,
give yourself some grace because we've all done it. We
are all products of this culture and all we can
do is just try to keep moving forward and doing
better with it. And now that we've learned a little

(37:17):
bit more, all we can do is to try to
change our language a little bit at home and it
can really make a difference. And again, you know, repair
work is huge. Oh I said something about my body,
you know, the other day that that was really negative,
and I, you know, I just don't want to be
doing that. So I'm I'm going to try from now

(37:39):
on to just to say something much kinder, and you know,
I hope that you'll do the same. So, you know,
just staying in dialogue with our and knowing that we
don't always get it perfectly, but we can keep the
communication open about the topic.

Speaker 4 (37:56):
That's absolutely beautiful. I love that. Thank you.

Speaker 5 (38:00):
Is there anything that I didn't ask you about your
journey and your mission in life to help people.

Speaker 3 (38:08):
Through this that you really wanted to share with the
single mom collective.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
I just want everyone to feel like they can do
what they they want to do. That like, sometimes not
having a partner actually makes life easier and makes maybe
some things more complicated, but it also can make things easier,
and that ultimately, like you know, if you have desires,
like if you have wishes and desires and needs, they're

(38:36):
all valid and it makes it a little bit harder
when you're raising kids to sort of honor your needs.
But over time, as they need you less, then you
create that space to you know, maybe write a book
like I did, or start a business, or do something
non traditional that you've always wanted to do. So I think,
like I think, you know, I would stay connected to

(38:58):
your dreams and desires, which is so hard to do
when there's like a maybe a wound around becoming a
single parent. It's hard to do that. But I think
there's healing. If healing can happen, then so much flowering
can happen at any time stage of life.

Speaker 5 (39:13):
Build a business and a platform around helping people that
was really based on helping a previous.

Speaker 4 (39:19):
Version of ourselves.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
Absolutely yeah.

Speaker 5 (39:22):
And if you can just look at how far you've
come and figure out how can you help the previous
version of you? What knowledge do you have that you
learned because of what you've been through, and how can
you turn that around to.

Speaker 3 (39:37):
Help somebody else have a faster outcome, faster healing, or
a better outcome. I think that's one of the most
fulfilling things in life, and I think it's always a
passion that becomes very productive.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
Absolutely, go help the previous.

Speaker 4 (39:50):
Version of you. So it's one of the best things
we can do.

Speaker 5 (39:53):
Thank you so much for pouring your heart out to
the single mom collective.

Speaker 3 (39:57):
This was so extremely helpful, Like it's you're helping us
create a better legacy for our children and helping us
be better mothers. How can we get all your stuff,
your books, and how can we connect with you?

Speaker 2 (40:07):
Well, thank you, I'm you know you can find my
books everywhere. Nourish and Nurture are both like available in
all the places. In fact, if you don't see them
at your favorite bookstore, you can ask them. It's very
accessible through my distributor everywhere, even in libraries. It's I've
set it up intentionally, so it's available in libraries both
of them, and they're also available on audiobook, which I

(40:30):
know is sometimes easier for busy moms. I've read them
both myself, so yes, and my writing can also be
found on substack at Nourishing.

Speaker 1 (40:40):
Words or like you can. You can look at.

Speaker 2 (40:42):
It through my name Heidi Schuster, and you'll find my
writing there, and I have a lot of free content
there too for parents and individuals who are working on
their relationship with food, body, and self.

Speaker 4 (40:53):
I'll put all the links in the show notes.

Speaker 3 (40:55):
And thanks again for sharing all of this, and you're
really thanks for following your passion.

Speaker 1 (41:02):
Yeah, thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 3 (41:04):
Okay, so that conversation was everything. Wow, you were about
to leave a better legacy for your children, your daughters
and your sons. Would you do me a favor if
this resonated with you, make sure that you're subscribed to
the Single Mom collective. Surprise, how many people listen to
this episode, these episodes and you're not subscribed that way,

(41:26):
you'll get notified of every new episode and share this
with a friend. If this taught you something, I'm sure
there's a mom in your circle single mom or not
that needs to hear this message too, so she can
change the legacy for her daughters and her sons. We
are here in this together. Maybe you're ready to parent differently.

(41:47):
You're ready to heal not just for your kids, but
for you, So share it and I have an invitation
for you. I want to be there for you. You
don't have to do this alone. Book your free one
on one empowerment call with me today. I'm on a
mission to help single moms not feel as alone and
as afraid as I did. Let's talk about how to
build a life that feels finally peaceful and powerful and yours.

Speaker 1 (42:12):
When you're covering from divorce.

Speaker 3 (42:14):
Or a breakup with your children's father, it's tough. You
shouldn't have to do this alone. I will help you
rebuild your identity, peacefully co parent, become financially independent, and
heal so that you can find love again. This is
the beginning of your metamorphosis. You're going to get strategy
support from the Single Mom Collective community now two hundred

(42:35):
women plus strong, and a step by step, twelve step
system to help you rebuild your health, wealth and get
you ready for the relationship that you deserved in the
first place, So go ahead and click the link in
the show notes now to book her. Free call spots
fill up fast, so don't wait. And if this episode
moved you share it one mom, one message. This will

(42:58):
change a legacy. Make sure you subscribe and I'll see
you in the next episode. Well, then keep going. You're
not broken, you're just becoming. Oh wait, before you go,
don't forget. Beehive Meals dot com is still offering you
members of the single mom collective and listeners at discount.
If you're juggling a million things and dinner is stressing

(43:20):
you out, trust me, beehive will help.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
You breathe again.

Speaker 3 (43:24):
You get ten meals, it will feed your whole family,
ship to you once a month, and it costs you
five bucks or less per serving. Just go to beehive
meals dot com, use my coupon code Brave b r
a ve and enjoy one thing off your plate so
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(43:47):
with a healthy meal. I love you, I'm proud of you.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
You deserve ease and peace.
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