November 21, 2024 • 39 mins
Air Date - 20 November 2024
Welcome to a raw cut on the emotion of anger. This might ruffle some feathers, but it is only my account, and my experience is based on my own life experiences.
I grew up in a household where anger was the normal way to express frustration. Eventually, anger turned to aggression, which turned to violence, which turned to explosive bouts of abuse. Without knowing it, I learned to do absolutely everything I could to avoid anger. If I upset someone, I either defended, fought back, or completely shut down. It was my survival mechanism.
It wasn’t until recently that I realized this mode of operating was extremely destructive when it came to my intimate relationships.
Anger is a catalyst for forward momentum and while women usually resort to tears and sadness when they have emotions they need to release, men tend to resort to anger to cover up their fears, frustrations, and insecurities.
But anger gets a bad rap. But what if anger is just suppressed emotion that needs to be released and the way to get it out is to express it. If anger builds up then it can turn to violence, aggression, and abuse.
So, if we want healthy relationships, we need to discover a way to allow anger to be expressed, released and transformed.
Discover the power of how you can make friends with anger to transform your relationships and give the men (or women) in your life a chance to feel safe.
http://www.katherinemcintosh.com
#Anger #Relationships #KatherineMcIntosh #TrustingYourGut #Intuition #Consciousness #Lifestyle #BodyAwareness #Health #Wellness
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Welcome to a raw cut on the emotion of anger. This might ruffle some feathers, but it is only my account, and my experience is based on my own life experiences.
I grew up in a household where anger was the normal way to express frustration. Eventually, anger turned to aggression, which turned to violence, which turned to explosive bouts of abuse. Without knowing it, I learned to do absolutely everything I could to avoid anger. If I upset someone, I either defended, fought back, or completely shut down. It was my survival mechanism.
It wasn’t until recently that I realized this mode of operating was extremely destructive when it came to my intimate relationships.
Anger is a catalyst for forward momentum and while women usually resort to tears and sadness when they have emotions they need to release, men tend to resort to anger to cover up their fears, frustrations, and insecurities.
But anger gets a bad rap. But what if anger is just suppressed emotion that needs to be released and the way to get it out is to express it. If anger builds up then it can turn to violence, aggression, and abuse.
So, if we want healthy relationships, we need to discover a way to allow anger to be expressed, released and transformed.
Discover the power of how you can make friends with anger to transform your relationships and give the men (or women) in your life a chance to feel safe.
http://www.katherinemcintosh.com
#Anger #Relationships #KatherineMcIntosh #TrustingYourGut #Intuition #Consciousness #Lifestyle #BodyAwareness #Health #Wellness
Visit the Trusting Your Gut Show Page https://omtimes.com/iom/shows/trusting-your-gut
Connect with Katherine McIntosh at https://www.katherinemcintosh.com
Subscribe to our Newsletter https://omtimes.com/subscribe-omtimes-magazine
Connect with OMTimes on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Omtimes.Magazine/ and OMTimes Radio https://www.facebook.com/ConsciousRadiowebtv.OMTimes/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/OmTimes/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/omtimes/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/OMTimesTV
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/2798417/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/omtimes/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Be bold, be brave, be extraordinary, be vulnerable, be real,
be curious, be true.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Be you.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Welcome to trusting your gut with world class energy, Intuitive
Katherine McIntosh, a show designed to awaken you to enjoy
the process of evolving, have fun along the way, and
learn to listen to those silent in between moments. You
are the expert of your own life and nobody knows
more about the next steps to take in your journey
(00:40):
than you, So please listen to your gut and discover
what's waiting for you to explore. Here is your host,
Katherine macintosh.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Hello, my magical friends. Welcome. I'm in a new space
and still unpacking, but we are live today and I'm
excited to talk about a topic that actually I think
is going to resonate with a lot of you. And
what I'm going to say today and what I'm going
to talk about my raffles. Some feathers might be unconventional
(01:16):
advice or wisdom, but it's based on my life, my
personal experience, and something that I have been trying to
tackle in a lot of different ways, in a lot
of different avenues. In this last couple of weeks, really
had a bunch of AHAs and awakenings, and I think
(01:37):
it's going to serve those of you that are listening,
and if it doesn't, then don't listen to the show
and move on to something else. Right, But we're gonna
be talking about how anger can heal relationships, and I
want you to hear me out because I grew up
in a family where you know, we on the surface
looked like a really happy family. And I remember when
(02:02):
in my first marriage, when my first husband got extremely violent.
He was pretty abusive. He was also going to get emotional.
He was also loved his alcohol and was not a
very good combination. And so I always used to say
(02:24):
to people, you never know what happens behind closed doors. Right,
And good morning, sweet beautiful beings. I love all of
you who tune in, who watched live, who watched the replay,
who listened, And if you grew up in a household,
or you've had life experiences where anger turned to aggression,
(02:46):
turned to violence, turned verbal abuse, turned to attacks, and
you've avoided anger, or you've had your own anger issues
that you may not have been aware of, I think
today show is going to be a powerful one. And
I can tell because I'm about to cry. So I'm
going to share a life experience, and I believe I've
(03:10):
talked about it in different ways. I'm going to go
kind of deep into it to explain, and then hopefully
we're going to kind of transfer out into the aha
and the awakening. But for those of you who have
been on the side of abuse, who have experienced anger
(03:31):
turning to aggression, turning to violence, turn into abuse, either
physical or verbal, and you find yourself either avoiding relationships,
avoiding conflict, you find yourself shutting down in the face
of someone who gets angry, or you fight right back right,
(03:52):
this is going to be for you. So let me
back up, and I want to share an experience that
happened to me in my mid.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Twenties that changed my life, and it wasn't until this
week that I connected. I connected that event from twenty
years ago to to dealing with life and relationships and
friendships and business.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
I know that me personally, when somebody gets angry at
me right or is angry by something I've done, I
shut down because I personally don't know what I want
to admit that I've heart someone I care about, So
whether it's my son, whether it's you know my ex husband,
we're becoming really good friends. Whether it's my current partner,
(04:45):
I always shut down or I fight back. And I'm
a terrible listener when it comes to my personal relationships.
So I have been an incredible listener on a lot
of levels when it comes to my clients, when it
come to business, when it comes to you know, certain areas.
(05:05):
But when it comes to upsetting somebody I care about,
worst listener in the world, I literally almost can't hear.
And so let me share this experience I had twenty
years ago and connect it to life now and what
that means moving forward, and what that also might mean
(05:25):
for you. So twenty plus years ago, I was working
with a shaman who has passed in the last several years.
He passed right around this time, actually, and I worked
with him for about eight years, and I would travel
the world and hold space with him for him, worked
(05:46):
with him very like, very like wow. Some of the
stuff that we did together, I was like blown away.
And at the time when I first started working with him,
I didn't realize how aware of energy I was, how
psychic I was, how intuitive I was. But every day
(06:06):
I'm reminded how where I am. And this isn't just
about Oh, let's talk about Catherine. This is a reminder
that any of you out there listening, you are also
uber aware. Right. So, yesterday I dropped my phone in
the snow and my phone went dead. Well it's live,
(06:29):
but I can't access anything on my phone, including my
work calendar, my client schedule, like all these things. And
I'm like, oh God. But right before I dropped my phone,
I was out on a walk and I was like, oh,
I am thinking about somebody that I really care about.
I should text them. And then I dropped my phone.
(06:49):
And luckily I have a computer, thank goodness for technology
in iCloud, and I have most of my stuff saved
except for my calendar. So I don't know what my
schedule is for the next couple of weeks. Hopefully that
will be remedied by tomorrow. It's been interesting going what
forty eight I guess twenty eight hours without a phone
so far, it's been kind of nice. Actually, it's been
(07:13):
nice to unplug. Luckily, I've been able to see messages.
But I went onto my computer to see you texted
me just a little bit ago, and the person I
was thinking about it and I was like, wow, so
aware of this person, and of course I heard from them, right,
and i'mn't connected with them in months. So my invitation
to each of you is, there are areas of your
(07:36):
life in which you are uber aware. And my bet
if you're an EmPATH, if you're intuitive, if you tend
to be psychic, if you play in the field of energy,
if you're constantly trying to be more aware, be more
present in your life, become the greatest version of you.
My hit is if you can relate to this is
(08:01):
anger is one of those emotions, especially when it's directed
at you, tends to sometimes short circuit your awareness or
shut you down or not allow you to be the
same energy you are in every other area of your
life and in every other situation. So let's rewind to
(08:23):
twenty years ago. I'm in Hawaii. I had been on
the Big Island for about a month. I was working
with the show and really intimately every day, sometimes twelve
hours a day, holding space for other people. And there
was a group of people from around the world, probably
about thirty people, twenty five thirty people, and there was
(08:45):
an instance where so it was this shamanic breath work, right,
and so you do this breath work where you're inhaling
twice in through the nose, taking in double the amount
of oxygen, and exhaling just once. And if you do
it for long long enough, usually three to five minutes intensely,
it starts to activate the DMT, which is dimethotrip to
(09:08):
mean that's already located in our penial gland. And why
the world currently is obsessed with plant medicine is because
they're looking for a spiritual experience and plant medicine does
it instantaneously. I personally prefer breath work so that you
can be more or less in control of your experience,
because sometimes when you take plant medicine, it can take
(09:30):
you on a journey that you can't control, you can't stop.
And so this breath work imitates taking you to another
vibration that heightens your senses, heightens your awareness, allows you
to tap into other forms of energy and experiences. And
(09:52):
so I was holding space for a group of people
who went on a week long intensive using this breath
work while blindfolded. It sounds crazy, but it fricking worked,
and there was this gentleman in space. So there were
people that weren't blindfolded to make sure everybody was safe.
And in this experience, right, you're blindfolded, you're doing this
(10:15):
massive breath work. You're stimulating the die methodtrip to mean
in your pineal gland, which is you know, naturally found
in your pineal gland, and breath work can activate it,
which then allows you to really like sort of take
your ego aside so you can hover over your life
(10:39):
from a witnessing perspective, so you can dive deep into
letting go of trauma. Now I no longer do these
practices much anymore, and the reason is is I found
other ways. But at the time, twenty years ago, this
was an incredibly eye opening experience and I was hooked
because there were many things that I got out of
(11:03):
doing these breath work journeys for sometimes weeks at a time. Right.
And so here I am not blindfolded, holding space for
a group of people who were blindfolded, and there was
this man that all of a sudden hit his breaking point.
He's in his mid forties, he was European, and he
(11:25):
is like literally salivating, frothing, panting, sweating like clenched fists,
and you could all the sudden start to see the
anger and rage coming out of this world. And here
I am. Had a lot of trauma in my childhood
with anger, specifically with my father, with my brother, both
(11:48):
my brothers on on different levels, just seeing men sort
of lose it and get angry. And so for me,
whenever I saw me and get angry, I immediately would
shut down and retract, or I would run right or
I'd fight back, and the all of those survival response
(12:11):
mechanisms did not resolve the pain or the trauma or
the survival instinct that was inside me. It didn't change
my behavior. And so here's this man in Hawaii, beautiful location,
and he starts scaring most of the participants. Imagine you're
(12:33):
blindfolded going on a spiritual journey and you start to
hear a mid forties man like just raging screams like gottural,
deep raging like rahhh. And my shaman takes me by
the shoulders, walks me over to this man about a
(12:54):
foot in front of him, and he whispers in my ear.
He's like, open your arms, open your heart, and just
witness him be there for his rage. And my first
instinct was wear my running shoes and get me the
heck out of here, Get me out of here. I
(13:16):
can't do this right, and yet something in me told me, stay, stay,
do this for this person. So here I am lowering,
my palms are facing open right up at him. I'm
standing up. I'm just like soft gaze. I'm not laser focused.
I'm like just holding this space for him. And he
(13:41):
is just releasing and angry and frustrated and rageful and
going through a divorce and losing his business and potentially
losing his child, and all these emotions were coming out
of him. And at first it was terrifying, terrifying, and
(14:04):
then I just kept sinking in, lowering my barriers, opening
my heart, opening my palms, and without judging, without knowing
what he was going through, right, I didn't find out
what he was going through until afterwards. So here's this man.
He knows there's somebody, he's blindfolded, he knows somebody is
(14:27):
standing in front of him, but he has no idea.
And here I am just standing holding space for him.
And it was probably a five minute, maybe it was
a ten minute, but it felt like probably two hours
in my world, right, this rage, this frustration, this anger,
this resentment, this shame, this fear, and all of a sudden,
(14:50):
after he realized and he knew someone was witnessing him,
and he felt safe to express right, and everybody else
kind of calmed down the minute I got in front
of him, Right, all of a sudden, all that rage,
all that anger, all those emotions, they were received without judgment,
(15:13):
They were accepted without being made wrong. They weren't stuffed,
they weren't shamed. It was just like a dissipation of
probably decades of trauma and resentment and anger and fear
and frustration and sadness. But men tend to express their
(15:35):
emotions and their sadness and their fears with anger. Women.
Now this isn't, This isn't across the board. This is
the way it is. It's just what I've witnessed. Men
tend to express their fears with anger, right, or they're
upset with anger. Women tend to express their upset with
sadness in tears. Right. Men don't like sadness in tears,
(15:57):
women don't like anger. And so then in relationship, and
there's this constant conflict, right, because neither party feels heard.
And the majority of conflict in relationships is because the
person expressing doesn't feel heard, doesn't feel met, doesn't feel
(16:19):
witnessed without judgment.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Men don't like tears because they don't like to think
that they've upset the person they love. Women don't like
anchor because they don't like to think that they've upset
the person they love. And this engages this crazy war, right,
this war, this conflict constantly right, And so a couple
(16:43):
weeks ago, I was just I've been for the last
few months looking at, Wow, what is this in me
that shuts down when I think I've upset someone? When
I think I've upset my ex husband, I think I've
set my son, when I think I've upset my current partner, right,
and I shut down or a fight, I defend, I
(17:05):
don't listen. And so I've been kind of like, what
is this? And I went on a walk the other
day and I said, hey, Universe, Hey, like, can you
please help me because I want to change this thing
in me? And all of a sudden, I'm out on
a walk, I'm in nature, I'm clearing my head, I'm
(17:26):
listening to an audio that's just like helping me release
and relax, And I went, oh my god, and I
flashed back to this moment in my twenties where I
got to witness this man breakdown. Right. So, after he
was witnessed with his rage, he fell to his knees
and he started sobbing, right, And he probably sobbed, and
(17:51):
this is no joke, right, for at least half an
hour when the blindfolds came off when the ceremony was over, right,
no plant medicine involved, just natural breath work. When the
ceremony was over, he went over to the shaman. He said,
who was standing in front of me? And he pointed
over to me, right, And this man came over because
(18:14):
he needed a female presence to hold space for him,
to let him know that his anger was okay, that
he needed a safe place to express it so that
he could open up his world. He like, I almost
start tearing up just thinking about it, right, And so
he came over and we probably had a three hour
(18:38):
experience together exchange where we walked in Hawaii along the
ocean in the brush, right, we picked flowers and he
told me his life story. He told me that that
was the most healing experience he's ever had, that every
woman he's ever dated has made him wrong for his frustration.
He didn't know how to express his fears. Right, and
(19:00):
I flash back to that, I went, oh my god,
I have never been able to do that in my relationships.
I didn't do it with my dad, I didn't do
it with my brothers. I didn't do it with my mom. Right,
men or women. Right, But when somebody gets angry, immediately
shut down Because in my world, anger leads to aggression,
(19:22):
leads to violence, leads to abuse, leads to verbal leads
to property being damaged. I've had personal physical damage onto
my body based on the rage or anger and unexpressed right,
not expressed healthy. So this is not I'm not talking
that it's healthy to go to aggression. It's healthy to
(19:44):
go to violence, No, no, no, But when someone is
expressing anger, it is healthy to hold space so that
anger can be released, just like women sometimes need to
really really sadness, so the sadness can be released really powerful.
(20:05):
And so I want to encourage any of you listening
right now sort of take inventory in your own world
and see where you shut down in the face of
anger if you do, and what topics in particular shut
you down. So for me, anger and relationship, right, some
(20:27):
people it's anger and money, right. Some people it's anger
and sex. Right. So you just want to look at like,
get a little bit curious and dig a little bit deeper.
If this topic resonates with you and you recognize that,
oh my god, you shut down the face of the anger,
and you shove your emotions down until they bubble up
(20:53):
to the point where you explode. And you might explode
in frustration. You might explode in anger, you might explode
in resentment, you might explode with words that you don't
really mean. And you know it's it's a real thing.
And my aha was, holy cow, what would it be
(21:15):
like if, in particular, I'm raising a twelve year old boy?
Would it be like if it's okay that he gets
angry and if I don't shut him down when he's upset? Right,
And look, most of the time I can hold space.
But it's particularius not so good. And I was demanding
(21:37):
to change it, and out came this awareness, And so
I want to invite all of you to look at it.
We'll talk a little bit more about it, things you
can do. I'll share a little bit more about my
story and a little bit of an aha, and just
what would it be like if you could hold space
(21:57):
for somebody in their pain, their anger, and their sadness
and in their shame. So if you're listening to this
and you're like, I don't have a problem holding space
for somebody who's angry, great, Maybe you have a problem
holding space for someone who's in sadness, or who's in pain,
or who's uncomfortable, who just got diagnosed with a disease. Right,
(22:18):
what are the areas in which if you get the
information from somebody you love and care about, it shuts
you down instantaneously, And we're going to talk a little
bit more about how you can hold space. So that,
guess what, all of your relationships can heal. Because it's
my belief that relationships in particular are intimate ones. But
(22:41):
our friendships are ones with our children, are ones with
our parents. They're all designed to invite us to become
the greatest version of ourselves. And when we're in conflict
with people we love and we can't resolve an issue,
is because that issue is begging to be transformed. But
(23:01):
we're stuck either in the ego, we're stuck in our perspective,
we're stuck hanging onto the trauma. We're stuck hanging onto
the past. So I'll share a little bit about what
broke me through this last week, and I'm hoping it
contributes to you. So stay tuned and we'll be back
after these messages.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Sometimes TV, do.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
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the key to unlocking the weight pain, suffering, fear, anxiety, addictions,
traumas and sorrows was already inside of you. Learn to
love the skin you are in so you can create
the body business in life you love. Everyone always says
(23:51):
you can't explain what Catherine does. You just have to
experience it. From Hollywood actors to New York Times bestselling
authors to some of the world's wealthiest and most successful,
No two experiences are the same. For private sessions, online courses,
live events, and the latest book Jack Hanfield calls game
(24:12):
changer and should be required reading for everyone. Go to
Katherine Macintosh dot com k A t H E r
I N E MC I N t O s H
dot com.
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Join us at Feeding America dot org. Okay, my magical friends,
so welcome back.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Right.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
It's not an easy topic for me to talk about,
and it's really not an easy topic to sort of
share the vulnerability in my world. You know, it's not
fun to admit or to look at. Sometimes I passed
and realize how abused I was, and somehow I managed
to make that seem normal. And you know, in my life,
(26:30):
I have been great being on my own, being independent,
and I've always struggled to some degree when it came
to relationships. So it was like, either my way or
the highway, or let me do everything their way so
I don't ruffle any feathers. And this last week I
was like, oh my gosh, I am not making a
(26:54):
safe place for my son to express his anger or frustration, right,
And I'm not making a safe place for my partner
to express his anger or frustration. And so it created
this sort of conflict that sort of created this like
you know, hamster wheel of triggering each other. And this
(27:18):
was true with my son, this was true with my
ex husband. This was true basically I have two ex husbands,
so my second ex husband, which was my son's father,
and it was true in my current relationship. And so
I really wanted to change the story that I was
creating inside myself, and I didn't want to admit it.
(27:41):
I could feel this like shame, I could feel this hiding,
I could feel my shut down, I could feel all
these things, and so I'm out on this walk, and
I was like, oh my gosh, I've never made it
safe for the people I love to express the upset
with me because I took it too personally for me,
(28:04):
it doesn't really matter the reason, but I'll share my
story or just like what my reasoning. My reasoning was,
oh my gosh, if someone is expressing their anger with me,
if they're frustrated, that means I'm going to lose someone
or something I love, or something bad physically or emotionally
(28:25):
or energetically is going to happen to me. Right, So,
at no point did I ever create a safe place
for people to express their frustrations, to express their anger,
to express their concern Like that, I did something I
never wanted to look at, that I could be responsible
(28:47):
for hurting somebody else's feelings. Never wanted to look at it.
And even as I talk, I can feel it in
my jawline, I'm looking at it. And you know what,
Sometimes it's those uncomfortable moments that truly, if you can
(29:08):
sit with them long enough, if you can be curious
long enough, we'll truly set you free. And so the
other day, right, having a conflict with my partner and
I went, oh my god, I've never held a safe
place for him to express that he's upset. No wonder
(29:29):
why I We're on a hamster wheel, right.
Speaker 5 (29:32):
And.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
In one day, in one day changed probably a life
long pattern that I've been struggling with. And so this
is a reminder to all of you, if you truly
want to change, right, if you truly want something different,
Here's where I was holding this pattern in place. Every
(29:59):
time we I would fight, every time I would defend,
every time I would get upset that he was upset, right,
not very kind, not very kind, I, I, you know,
would give an excuse. I would resort to my past.
I would say, well, I'm like this because of this,
you don't understand. I need you to do this. And
(30:21):
he's like, well, you're our stand I need you to write.
There's never any resolve in that.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
And so.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
One day by going, oh my gosh, I have spent
my life in a sneaky way because I'm a healer,
right in a sneaky way, because I'm psychic and a
see sneaky way, because I'm intuitive, right in a sneaky way,
because I'm pretty energetically aware, but not always when it
(30:50):
comes to me. I went, oh my god, I have
been using excuses right in these subtle, sneaky ways, excuses
as to why I haven't been able to change the pattern. Well,
I need you to change aha, right, like the you
(31:12):
can't change what isn't yours, right, and so you can't
expect someone else to change. You have to change it
within you. And I knew this, I just didn't know how.
Also another excuse, right, true, but I was using it
in an excuse instead of I'm going to figure out
(31:33):
how to change this. So I made this demand. I'm
going to figure it out. I'm going to go through
the fire with myself, not with him, with myself to
find the truth, to find resolve.
Speaker 5 (31:47):
And so.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
It was a really beautiful experience. It's still unraveling, but
when you go, you know what, I'm no longer going
to give excuses for my asked for my finances, for
my relationships, for my career, for you know, hiding behind
my excuse. Right. So this week I also had a
(32:10):
family meeting my son, my ex husband and myself, and
we sort of set up this sort of container for
our son to really start to go for his goals,
to really go for his dreams, and I said, what
(32:31):
do you think is the biggest thing that's in the
way of your dreams? And he said, I don't always
want it. Now, this is a twelve year old and
I might be not verbat I'm saying what he said,
but basically said, I am blaming other people for things
I'm not choosing. And I went, that's pretty where I said,
what can you do different? He goes, I have to
(32:52):
stop making excuses, right, And this was on the heels
of me also realized I have to stop making excuses.
And the minute I decided, no more excuses, right, No
more justification, no more explaining, no more, no more trying
(33:13):
to hang on to a pattern without realizing that I
was still hanging onto a pattern. And so for all
of you out there that struggle with anger in particular,
I want to invite you, what if, like in my twenties,
you could, you know, open your palms, you could open
(33:33):
your heart, you could be present with yourself. Right in
grad school and psychology we called it being a third
party witness. You know, I talk about as if you're
an eagle hovering over the mountains and you can see
everything down below, no judging it no labeling it, no
(33:54):
defending it, no making it right, no making it wrong,
just being a witness. And when you can witness without judging,
without running, without fighting, that's where I believe the true
healing is possible and it can be profound. So, whether
(34:14):
you resist anger, whether you resist sadness, whether you resist shame, tears,
whether you resist someone who's too happy, whatever your thing is,
get curious and go, oh my gosh, I'm not going
to make excuses anymore. I'm going to make a demand.
(34:35):
I'm going to set an intention. I'm going to really
be present and go, you know what, I'm going to
hold space for the people I care about, no matter
what is happening. And this is not put yourself in
a dangerous situation. This is not stay in an abusive relationship.
This is not that. Please know that when anger isn't
(34:57):
doesn't have a place to be held in a safe way,
it turns to aggression, violence, destruction. That's not what I'm
talking about. But if we can be with an emotion,
especially anger, at least for me, right for women, for men,
(35:20):
it's usually if they can be with a woman's sadness. Right,
men are taught not to cry not to be sad,
not to show much emotion. So the only emotion that
they're allowed to display when they're upset is anger. Right,
So my invitation is, what if you could hold space
(35:46):
for the people you love? What if you could hold
space for you in the places where you resist, giving
yourself permission to go to those places you don't want
to go to. And so my invitation to all of
you is be curious, right, open your heart, right open
your palms, be present with the emotions you run from,
(36:11):
and hold space for the people you love so that
they can express whatever emotion they need. And don't take
it personally, don't interject, just receive so that they can heal.
And when they heal, you get to reconnect. Really really powerful,
really really powerful. So I hope this episode today speaks
(36:37):
to you. I hope it contributes to wherever you are
in the world. And yeah, I hope you just stay
true to you because relationships can be such a beautiful
healing experience, and at some point most relationships break down.
I believe that it has a lot to do with
(36:57):
this dynamic I just talked about. Look at if you're
in a relationship, whether it's with an intimate other, or
your children, or your family or your closest friends. Look
at where you run or resist, look at where you judge,
look at where you label, and see if you can
get curious to still it down and hold space for
(37:18):
the people you love in their most challenging moments. And
when we can find healthy ways to express every emotion,
Because there's unhealthy ways to express sadness, there's unhealthy ways
to express anger, there's unhealthy ways to express shame, there's
unhealthy ways to express remorse or guilt, whatever, all the
(37:41):
emotions right, there's unhealthy ways, and there's healthy ways. And
if we can create a safe place for the people
we love right or the people we work with, or
the people we're in relationship with to express whatever's going
on for them and really true listen and not make
(38:02):
it wrong and not run and not judge, I think
we could change the world right, and we could wake
up to very different dynamic and all of our relationships.
So I appreciate you all for tuning in. I am
in a new place. We'll get my computer completely set up.
We're navigating and be well for now. Don't ever forget
(38:28):
who you are and trust the process of becoming and
wherever you are in the world, hold space for those
that you love and see if you can do it
in a way that not just changes you, it changes
them and it changes the world. So I look forward
to seeing you next time.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
By for now, Catherine is not a medical practitioner nor
a licensed therapist. She has strong opinions and we'll express them,
and truly believes that you are your best advocate it
for any and every area of your life. If you
need medical advice, please consult your physician.
Be bold, be brave, be extraordinary, be vulnerable, be real,
be curious, be true.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Be you.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Welcome to trusting your gut with world class energy, Intuitive
Katherine McIntosh, a show designed to awaken you to enjoy
the process of evolving, have fun along the way, and
learn to listen to those silent in between moments. You
are the expert of your own life and nobody knows
more about the next steps to take in your journey
(00:40):
than you, So please listen to your gut and discover
what's waiting for you to explore. Here is your host,
Katherine macintosh.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Hello, my magical friends. Welcome. I'm in a new space
and still unpacking, but we are live today and I'm
excited to talk about a topic that actually I think
is going to resonate with a lot of you. And
what I'm going to say today and what I'm going
to talk about my raffles. Some feathers might be unconventional
(01:16):
advice or wisdom, but it's based on my life, my
personal experience, and something that I have been trying to
tackle in a lot of different ways, in a lot
of different avenues. In this last couple of weeks, really
had a bunch of AHAs and awakenings, and I think
(01:37):
it's going to serve those of you that are listening,
and if it doesn't, then don't listen to the show
and move on to something else. Right, But we're gonna
be talking about how anger can heal relationships, and I
want you to hear me out because I grew up
in a family where you know, we on the surface
looked like a really happy family. And I remember when
(02:02):
in my first marriage, when my first husband got extremely violent.
He was pretty abusive. He was also going to get emotional.
He was also loved his alcohol and was not a
very good combination. And so I always used to say
(02:24):
to people, you never know what happens behind closed doors. Right,
And good morning, sweet beautiful beings. I love all of
you who tune in, who watched live, who watched the replay,
who listened, And if you grew up in a household,
or you've had life experiences where anger turned to aggression,
(02:46):
turned to violence, turned verbal abuse, turned to attacks, and
you've avoided anger, or you've had your own anger issues
that you may not have been aware of, I think
today show is going to be a powerful one. And
I can tell because I'm about to cry. So I'm
going to share a life experience, and I believe I've
(03:10):
talked about it in different ways. I'm going to go
kind of deep into it to explain, and then hopefully
we're going to kind of transfer out into the aha
and the awakening. But for those of you who have
been on the side of abuse, who have experienced anger
(03:31):
turning to aggression, turning to violence, turn into abuse, either
physical or verbal, and you find yourself either avoiding relationships,
avoiding conflict, you find yourself shutting down in the face
of someone who gets angry, or you fight right back right,
(03:52):
this is going to be for you. So let me
back up, and I want to share an experience that
happened to me in my mid.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Twenties that changed my life, and it wasn't until this
week that I connected. I connected that event from twenty
years ago to to dealing with life and relationships and
friendships and business.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
I know that me personally, when somebody gets angry at
me right or is angry by something I've done, I
shut down because I personally don't know what I want
to admit that I've heart someone I care about, So
whether it's my son, whether it's you know my ex husband,
we're becoming really good friends. Whether it's my current partner,
(04:45):
I always shut down or I fight back. And I'm
a terrible listener when it comes to my personal relationships.
So I have been an incredible listener on a lot
of levels when it comes to my clients, when it
come to business, when it comes to you know, certain areas.
(05:05):
But when it comes to upsetting somebody I care about,
worst listener in the world, I literally almost can't hear.
And so let me share this experience I had twenty
years ago and connect it to life now and what
that means moving forward, and what that also might mean
(05:25):
for you. So twenty plus years ago, I was working
with a shaman who has passed in the last several years.
He passed right around this time, actually, and I worked
with him for about eight years, and I would travel
the world and hold space with him for him, worked
(05:46):
with him very like, very like wow. Some of the
stuff that we did together, I was like blown away.
And at the time when I first started working with him,
I didn't realize how aware of energy I was, how
psychic I was, how intuitive I was. But every day
(06:06):
I'm reminded how where I am. And this isn't just
about Oh, let's talk about Catherine. This is a reminder
that any of you out there listening, you are also
uber aware. Right. So, yesterday I dropped my phone in
the snow and my phone went dead. Well it's live,
(06:29):
but I can't access anything on my phone, including my
work calendar, my client schedule, like all these things. And
I'm like, oh God. But right before I dropped my phone,
I was out on a walk and I was like, oh,
I am thinking about somebody that I really care about.
I should text them. And then I dropped my phone.
(06:49):
And luckily I have a computer, thank goodness for technology
in iCloud, and I have most of my stuff saved
except for my calendar. So I don't know what my
schedule is for the next couple of weeks. Hopefully that
will be remedied by tomorrow. It's been interesting going what
forty eight I guess twenty eight hours without a phone
so far, it's been kind of nice. Actually, it's been
(07:13):
nice to unplug. Luckily, I've been able to see messages.
But I went onto my computer to see you texted
me just a little bit ago, and the person I
was thinking about it and I was like, wow, so
aware of this person, and of course I heard from them, right,
and i'mn't connected with them in months. So my invitation
to each of you is, there are areas of your
(07:36):
life in which you are uber aware. And my bet
if you're an EmPATH, if you're intuitive, if you tend
to be psychic, if you play in the field of energy,
if you're constantly trying to be more aware, be more
present in your life, become the greatest version of you.
My hit is if you can relate to this is
(08:01):
anger is one of those emotions, especially when it's directed
at you, tends to sometimes short circuit your awareness or
shut you down or not allow you to be the
same energy you are in every other area of your
life and in every other situation. So let's rewind to
(08:23):
twenty years ago. I'm in Hawaii. I had been on
the Big Island for about a month. I was working
with the show and really intimately every day, sometimes twelve
hours a day, holding space for other people. And there
was a group of people from around the world, probably
about thirty people, twenty five thirty people, and there was
(08:45):
an instance where so it was this shamanic breath work, right,
and so you do this breath work where you're inhaling
twice in through the nose, taking in double the amount
of oxygen, and exhaling just once. And if you do
it for long long enough, usually three to five minutes intensely,
it starts to activate the DMT, which is dimethotrip to
(09:08):
mean that's already located in our penial gland. And why
the world currently is obsessed with plant medicine is because
they're looking for a spiritual experience and plant medicine does
it instantaneously. I personally prefer breath work so that you
can be more or less in control of your experience,
because sometimes when you take plant medicine, it can take
(09:30):
you on a journey that you can't control, you can't stop.
And so this breath work imitates taking you to another
vibration that heightens your senses, heightens your awareness, allows you
to tap into other forms of energy and experiences. And
(09:52):
so I was holding space for a group of people
who went on a week long intensive using this breath
work while blindfolded. It sounds crazy, but it fricking worked,
and there was this gentleman in space. So there were
people that weren't blindfolded to make sure everybody was safe.
And in this experience, right, you're blindfolded, you're doing this
(10:15):
massive breath work. You're stimulating the die methodtrip to mean
in your pineal gland, which is you know, naturally found
in your pineal gland, and breath work can activate it,
which then allows you to really like sort of take
your ego aside so you can hover over your life
(10:39):
from a witnessing perspective, so you can dive deep into
letting go of trauma. Now I no longer do these
practices much anymore, and the reason is is I found
other ways. But at the time, twenty years ago, this
was an incredibly eye opening experience and I was hooked
because there were many things that I got out of
(11:03):
doing these breath work journeys for sometimes weeks at a time. Right.
And so here I am not blindfolded, holding space for
a group of people who were blindfolded, and there was
this man that all of a sudden hit his breaking point.
He's in his mid forties, he was European, and he
(11:25):
is like literally salivating, frothing, panting, sweating like clenched fists,
and you could all the sudden start to see the
anger and rage coming out of this world. And here
I am. Had a lot of trauma in my childhood
with anger, specifically with my father, with my brother, both
(11:48):
my brothers on on different levels, just seeing men sort
of lose it and get angry. And so for me,
whenever I saw me and get angry, I immediately would
shut down and retract, or I would run right or
I'd fight back, and the all of those survival response
(12:11):
mechanisms did not resolve the pain or the trauma or
the survival instinct that was inside me. It didn't change
my behavior. And so here's this man in Hawaii, beautiful location,
and he starts scaring most of the participants. Imagine you're
(12:33):
blindfolded going on a spiritual journey and you start to
hear a mid forties man like just raging screams like gottural,
deep raging like rahhh. And my shaman takes me by
the shoulders, walks me over to this man about a
(12:54):
foot in front of him, and he whispers in my ear.
He's like, open your arms, open your heart, and just
witness him be there for his rage. And my first
instinct was wear my running shoes and get me the
heck out of here, Get me out of here. I
(13:16):
can't do this right, and yet something in me told me, stay, stay,
do this for this person. So here I am lowering,
my palms are facing open right up at him. I'm
standing up. I'm just like soft gaze. I'm not laser focused.
I'm like just holding this space for him. And he
(13:41):
is just releasing and angry and frustrated and rageful and
going through a divorce and losing his business and potentially
losing his child, and all these emotions were coming out
of him. And at first it was terrifying, terrifying, and
(14:04):
then I just kept sinking in, lowering my barriers, opening
my heart, opening my palms, and without judging, without knowing
what he was going through, right, I didn't find out
what he was going through until afterwards. So here's this man.
He knows there's somebody, he's blindfolded, he knows somebody is
(14:27):
standing in front of him, but he has no idea.
And here I am just standing holding space for him.
And it was probably a five minute, maybe it was
a ten minute, but it felt like probably two hours
in my world, right, this rage, this frustration, this anger,
this resentment, this shame, this fear, and all of a sudden,
(14:50):
after he realized and he knew someone was witnessing him,
and he felt safe to express right, and everybody else
kind of calmed down the minute I got in front
of him, Right, all of a sudden, all that rage,
all that anger, all those emotions, they were received without judgment,
(15:13):
They were accepted without being made wrong. They weren't stuffed,
they weren't shamed. It was just like a dissipation of
probably decades of trauma and resentment and anger and fear
and frustration and sadness. But men tend to express their
(15:35):
emotions and their sadness and their fears with anger. Women.
Now this isn't, This isn't across the board. This is
the way it is. It's just what I've witnessed. Men
tend to express their fears with anger, right, or they're
upset with anger. Women tend to express their upset with
sadness in tears. Right. Men don't like sadness in tears,
(15:57):
women don't like anger. And so then in relationship, and
there's this constant conflict, right, because neither party feels heard.
And the majority of conflict in relationships is because the
person expressing doesn't feel heard, doesn't feel met, doesn't feel
(16:19):
witnessed without judgment.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Men don't like tears because they don't like to think
that they've upset the person they love. Women don't like
anchor because they don't like to think that they've upset
the person they love. And this engages this crazy war, right,
this war, this conflict constantly right, And so a couple
(16:43):
weeks ago, I was just I've been for the last
few months looking at, Wow, what is this in me
that shuts down when I think I've upset someone? When
I think I've upset my ex husband, I think I've
set my son, when I think I've upset my current partner, right,
and I shut down or a fight, I defend, I
(17:05):
don't listen. And so I've been kind of like, what
is this? And I went on a walk the other
day and I said, hey, Universe, Hey, like, can you
please help me because I want to change this thing
in me? And all of a sudden, I'm out on
a walk, I'm in nature, I'm clearing my head, I'm
(17:26):
listening to an audio that's just like helping me release
and relax, And I went, oh my god, and I
flashed back to this moment in my twenties where I
got to witness this man breakdown. Right. So, after he
was witnessed with his rage, he fell to his knees
and he started sobbing, right, And he probably sobbed, and
(17:51):
this is no joke, right, for at least half an
hour when the blindfolds came off when the ceremony was over, right,
no plant medicine involved, just natural breath work. When the
ceremony was over, he went over to the shaman. He said,
who was standing in front of me? And he pointed
over to me, right, And this man came over because
(18:14):
he needed a female presence to hold space for him,
to let him know that his anger was okay, that
he needed a safe place to express it so that
he could open up his world. He like, I almost
start tearing up just thinking about it, right, And so
he came over and we probably had a three hour
(18:38):
experience together exchange where we walked in Hawaii along the
ocean in the brush, right, we picked flowers and he
told me his life story. He told me that that
was the most healing experience he's ever had, that every
woman he's ever dated has made him wrong for his frustration.
He didn't know how to express his fears. Right, and
(19:00):
I flash back to that, I went, oh my god,
I have never been able to do that in my relationships.
I didn't do it with my dad, I didn't do
it with my brothers. I didn't do it with my mom. Right,
men or women. Right, But when somebody gets angry, immediately
shut down Because in my world, anger leads to aggression,
(19:22):
leads to violence, leads to abuse, leads to verbal leads
to property being damaged. I've had personal physical damage onto
my body based on the rage or anger and unexpressed right,
not expressed healthy. So this is not I'm not talking
that it's healthy to go to aggression. It's healthy to
(19:44):
go to violence, No, no, no, But when someone is
expressing anger, it is healthy to hold space so that
anger can be released, just like women sometimes need to
really really sadness, so the sadness can be released really powerful.
(20:05):
And so I want to encourage any of you listening
right now sort of take inventory in your own world
and see where you shut down in the face of
anger if you do, and what topics in particular shut
you down. So for me, anger and relationship, right, some
(20:27):
people it's anger and money, right. Some people it's anger
and sex. Right. So you just want to look at like,
get a little bit curious and dig a little bit deeper.
If this topic resonates with you and you recognize that,
oh my god, you shut down the face of the anger,
and you shove your emotions down until they bubble up
(20:53):
to the point where you explode. And you might explode
in frustration. You might explode in anger, you might explode
in resentment, you might explode with words that you don't
really mean. And you know it's it's a real thing.
And my aha was, holy cow, what would it be
(21:15):
like if, in particular, I'm raising a twelve year old boy?
Would it be like if it's okay that he gets
angry and if I don't shut him down when he's upset? Right,
And look, most of the time I can hold space.
But it's particularius not so good. And I was demanding
(21:37):
to change it, and out came this awareness, And so
I want to invite all of you to look at it.
We'll talk a little bit more about it, things you
can do. I'll share a little bit more about my
story and a little bit of an aha, and just
what would it be like if you could hold space
(21:57):
for somebody in their pain, their anger, and their sadness
and in their shame. So if you're listening to this
and you're like, I don't have a problem holding space
for somebody who's angry, great, Maybe you have a problem
holding space for someone who's in sadness, or who's in pain,
or who's uncomfortable, who just got diagnosed with a disease. Right,
(22:18):
what are the areas in which if you get the
information from somebody you love and care about, it shuts
you down instantaneously, And we're going to talk a little
bit more about how you can hold space. So that,
guess what, all of your relationships can heal. Because it's
my belief that relationships in particular are intimate ones. But
(22:41):
our friendships are ones with our children, are ones with
our parents. They're all designed to invite us to become
the greatest version of ourselves. And when we're in conflict
with people we love and we can't resolve an issue,
is because that issue is begging to be transformed. But
(23:01):
we're stuck either in the ego, we're stuck in our perspective,
we're stuck hanging onto the trauma. We're stuck hanging onto
the past. So I'll share a little bit about what
broke me through this last week, and I'm hoping it
contributes to you. So stay tuned and we'll be back
after these messages.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Sometimes TV, do.
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the body business in life you love. Everyone always says
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experience it. From Hollywood actors to New York Times bestselling
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No two experiences are the same. For private sessions, online courses,
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changer and should be required reading for everyone. Go to
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Join us at Feeding America dot org. Okay, my magical friends,
so welcome back.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Right.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
It's not an easy topic for me to talk about,
and it's really not an easy topic to sort of
share the vulnerability in my world. You know, it's not
fun to admit or to look at. Sometimes I passed
and realize how abused I was, and somehow I managed
to make that seem normal. And you know, in my life,
(26:30):
I have been great being on my own, being independent,
and I've always struggled to some degree when it came
to relationships. So it was like, either my way or
the highway, or let me do everything their way so
I don't ruffle any feathers. And this last week I
was like, oh my gosh, I am not making a
(26:54):
safe place for my son to express his anger or frustration, right,
And I'm not making a safe place for my partner
to express his anger or frustration. And so it created
this sort of conflict that sort of created this like
you know, hamster wheel of triggering each other. And this
(27:18):
was true with my son, this was true with my
ex husband. This was true basically I have two ex husbands,
so my second ex husband, which was my son's father,
and it was true in my current relationship. And so
I really wanted to change the story that I was
creating inside myself, and I didn't want to admit it.
(27:41):
I could feel this like shame, I could feel this hiding,
I could feel my shut down, I could feel all
these things, and so I'm out on this walk, and
I was like, oh my gosh, I've never made it
safe for the people I love to express the upset
with me because I took it too personally for me,
(28:04):
it doesn't really matter the reason, but I'll share my
story or just like what my reasoning. My reasoning was,
oh my gosh, if someone is expressing their anger with me,
if they're frustrated, that means I'm going to lose someone
or something I love, or something bad physically or emotionally
(28:25):
or energetically is going to happen to me. Right, So,
at no point did I ever create a safe place
for people to express their frustrations, to express their anger,
to express their concern Like that, I did something I
never wanted to look at, that I could be responsible
(28:47):
for hurting somebody else's feelings. Never wanted to look at it.
And even as I talk, I can feel it in
my jawline, I'm looking at it. And you know what,
Sometimes it's those uncomfortable moments that truly, if you can
(29:08):
sit with them long enough, if you can be curious
long enough, we'll truly set you free. And so the
other day, right, having a conflict with my partner and
I went, oh my god, I've never held a safe
place for him to express that he's upset. No wonder
(29:29):
why I We're on a hamster wheel, right.
Speaker 5 (29:32):
And.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
In one day, in one day changed probably a life
long pattern that I've been struggling with. And so this
is a reminder to all of you, if you truly
want to change, right, if you truly want something different,
Here's where I was holding this pattern in place. Every
(29:59):
time we I would fight, every time I would defend,
every time I would get upset that he was upset, right,
not very kind, not very kind, I, I, you know,
would give an excuse. I would resort to my past.
I would say, well, I'm like this because of this,
you don't understand. I need you to do this. And
(30:21):
he's like, well, you're our stand I need you to write.
There's never any resolve in that.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
And so.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
One day by going, oh my gosh, I have spent
my life in a sneaky way because I'm a healer,
right in a sneaky way, because I'm psychic and a
see sneaky way, because I'm intuitive, right in a sneaky way,
because I'm pretty energetically aware, but not always when it
(30:50):
comes to me. I went, oh my god, I have
been using excuses right in these subtle, sneaky ways, excuses
as to why I haven't been able to change the pattern. Well,
I need you to change aha, right, like the you
(31:12):
can't change what isn't yours, right, and so you can't
expect someone else to change. You have to change it
within you. And I knew this, I just didn't know how.
Also another excuse, right, true, but I was using it
in an excuse instead of I'm going to figure out
(31:33):
how to change this. So I made this demand. I'm
going to figure it out. I'm going to go through
the fire with myself, not with him, with myself to
find the truth, to find resolve.
Speaker 5 (31:47):
And so.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
It was a really beautiful experience. It's still unraveling, but
when you go, you know what, I'm no longer going
to give excuses for my asked for my finances, for
my relationships, for my career, for you know, hiding behind
my excuse. Right. So this week I also had a
(32:10):
family meeting my son, my ex husband and myself, and
we sort of set up this sort of container for
our son to really start to go for his goals,
to really go for his dreams, and I said, what
(32:31):
do you think is the biggest thing that's in the
way of your dreams? And he said, I don't always
want it. Now, this is a twelve year old and
I might be not verbat I'm saying what he said,
but basically said, I am blaming other people for things
I'm not choosing. And I went, that's pretty where I said,
what can you do different? He goes, I have to
(32:52):
stop making excuses, right, And this was on the heels
of me also realized I have to stop making excuses.
And the minute I decided, no more excuses, right, No
more justification, no more explaining, no more, no more trying
(33:13):
to hang on to a pattern without realizing that I
was still hanging onto a pattern. And so for all
of you out there that struggle with anger in particular,
I want to invite you, what if, like in my twenties,
you could, you know, open your palms, you could open
(33:33):
your heart, you could be present with yourself. Right in
grad school and psychology we called it being a third
party witness. You know, I talk about as if you're
an eagle hovering over the mountains and you can see
everything down below, no judging it no labeling it, no
(33:54):
defending it, no making it right, no making it wrong,
just being a witness. And when you can witness without judging,
without running, without fighting, that's where I believe the true
healing is possible and it can be profound. So, whether
(34:14):
you resist anger, whether you resist sadness, whether you resist shame, tears,
whether you resist someone who's too happy, whatever your thing is,
get curious and go, oh my gosh, I'm not going
to make excuses anymore. I'm going to make a demand.
(34:35):
I'm going to set an intention. I'm going to really
be present and go, you know what, I'm going to
hold space for the people I care about, no matter
what is happening. And this is not put yourself in
a dangerous situation. This is not stay in an abusive relationship.
This is not that. Please know that when anger isn't
(34:57):
doesn't have a place to be held in a safe way,
it turns to aggression, violence, destruction. That's not what I'm
talking about. But if we can be with an emotion,
especially anger, at least for me, right for women, for men,
(35:20):
it's usually if they can be with a woman's sadness. Right,
men are taught not to cry not to be sad,
not to show much emotion. So the only emotion that
they're allowed to display when they're upset is anger. Right,
So my invitation is, what if you could hold space
(35:46):
for the people you love? What if you could hold
space for you in the places where you resist, giving
yourself permission to go to those places you don't want
to go to. And so my invitation to all of
you is be curious, right, open your heart, right open
your palms, be present with the emotions you run from,
(36:11):
and hold space for the people you love so that
they can express whatever emotion they need. And don't take
it personally, don't interject, just receive so that they can heal.
And when they heal, you get to reconnect. Really really powerful,
really really powerful. So I hope this episode today speaks
(36:37):
to you. I hope it contributes to wherever you are
in the world. And yeah, I hope you just stay
true to you because relationships can be such a beautiful
healing experience, and at some point most relationships break down.
I believe that it has a lot to do with
(36:57):
this dynamic I just talked about. Look at if you're
in a relationship, whether it's with an intimate other, or
your children, or your family or your closest friends. Look
at where you run or resist, look at where you judge,
look at where you label, and see if you can
get curious to still it down and hold space for
(37:18):
the people you love in their most challenging moments. And
when we can find healthy ways to express every emotion,
Because there's unhealthy ways to express sadness, there's unhealthy ways
to express anger, there's unhealthy ways to express shame, there's
unhealthy ways to express remorse or guilt, whatever, all the
(37:41):
emotions right, there's unhealthy ways, and there's healthy ways. And
if we can create a safe place for the people
we love right or the people we work with, or
the people we're in relationship with to express whatever's going
on for them and really true listen and not make
(38:02):
it wrong and not run and not judge, I think
we could change the world right, and we could wake
up to very different dynamic and all of our relationships.
So I appreciate you all for tuning in. I am
in a new place. We'll get my computer completely set up.
We're navigating and be well for now. Don't ever forget
(38:28):
who you are and trust the process of becoming and
wherever you are in the world, hold space for those
that you love and see if you can do it
in a way that not just changes you, it changes
them and it changes the world. So I look forward
to seeing you next time.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
By for now, Catherine is not a medical practitioner nor
a licensed therapist. She has strong opinions and we'll express them,
and truly believes that you are your best advocate it
for any and every area of your life. If you
need medical advice, please consult your physician.
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