March 16, 2025 • 31 mins
Felicity Nicole is a two-time international best-selling author, creator, speaker, intuitive mentor, and CEO of She Is You — an online community and a brand designed to inspire midlife women seeking support on their healing journey. "She Is You" is a brand forged from Felicity's personal journey of transformation and healing and is 100% proof that we do not have to become what we were groomed to be. At age ten, Felicity witnessed her father attempting to kill her mother, one example of commonplace traumatic events in a wild and dysfunctional family. Instead of allowing her traumas to dictate her life choices, Felicity uses her experiences to educate and encourage others on how to forgive, create, and live a beautiful and meaningful life.
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Virgin, Beauty, Bitch, Podcast (00:00):
Inspiring women to overcome social stereotypes and share
(00:09):
unique life experiences without fear of being defiantly different.
Your hosts, Christopher and Heather, let's talk, shall we?
Fate can be ironic in that the people who can make all the difference in our fate in
life are the people we don't get to choose.
(00:32):
No one chooses their family of origin.
Some are born into unconditional love or abundance, while others must endure abuse, neglect,
or worse.
Our family can make us or break us.
But our guest today is living proof that how we begin in life doesn't have to determine
our fate throughout our lives.
(00:54):
We welcome two-time international best-selling author, creator, speaker, intuitive mentor
and CEO, CEO Felicity Nicole to Virgin Beauty Bitch.
Welcome Felicity.
Thank you for having me, you both are beautiful souls.
Wow.
I'm excited.
I'm going to set that right back at you.
(01:15):
Yes.
Yes.
Felicity, we don't know one another, but I can tell you right now that it is very easy to
like you.
You know why?
I can count on one finger the people I know who have lived a charmed childhood.
The rest of us either hide our truth behind a wall of shame or we use it as a sympathy magnet
(01:38):
while others share it with bitterness and hate.
You do none of the above.
Maybe you can share some of your origin story and from there we can get into how you made
it your fuel and not your fate.
I love that.
What a beautiful question.
So I am a childhood trauma domestic violence survivor.
I witnessed my father attempt to murder my mom at the age of 10 and from there I just grew
(02:05):
up in a highly toxic dysfunctional family.
I have been, I'm 47, I'll be 48 in May, I have been emotionally, mentally, physically
and unfortunately sexually abused pretty much the majority of my life.
But what you said earlier is within regards to the bitterness or hiding behind that is I've
(02:27):
managed to face those demons that generational trauma.
I became that cycle breaker in my family and that was in order to help my son.
It's really about him.
Yeah.
So in a cycle of somewhat you were created by your forebears to be who you are but in your
(02:49):
son you saw hope of being something else and bringing something else.
That's powerful.
It's powerful.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think as a mother or just in general, somebody that we love, right?
We don't have to be a mother.
It could be a best friend or another family member that, you know, we sacrifice, I'll sacrifice,
(03:13):
we sacrifice for the better good of them.
And so, you know, he too has a lot of his own baggage and that's for him to tell if he
decides to ever share his story.
But yeah, I've done all of this for my son because he has a new road to go on to that's
free of the boxes that family curses or ancestral trauma will put us into.
(03:40):
I mean, you're everything that you've taken from your experiences as a child and how it's
fueled who you are today and to really encourage women to discover their own inner wisdom.
It's honestly uplifting to hear all the times that you've spoken and the way that you're
(04:02):
very personable with even a wide broad audience.
And I'm just wondering from the work that you've done, like for women who have either as
Christopher said kind of been held under shame or, you know, I think that one of the emerging
things that happened after that Giselle case in France, it is the narrative that shame
(04:27):
needs to switch sides and that the more that women or people who have been abused are
cloaked in the shame of their perpetrator that it just allows for a lot more violence
to continue.
So in that transition for you or perhaps an ongoing evolution, what was that like for
(04:49):
you or continues to be like to not have the shame cloak you but to instead inform finding
your deeper wisdom?
Yes, I am an alchemist, right?
So we are going to, we have two choices.
We can either sit in mess and I can like we discussed earlier and I can just play the
(05:12):
victim and live the life that was given to me or that was designed for me or I can be
the voice to myself and I can take all of that pain, all of that deep therapy that I've
done, all of those dark moments I've had to face and I can alchemize all that through
(05:33):
healing and to something more powerful and that is the gift of my voice.
I am the voice for all of those that haven't had the courage to speak out yet and that's
what I'm really, that's the platform, that's what it's about.
It's medicine for the soul.
Felicity, is that innate in all of us or what is it that broke the seal for you?
(05:57):
To go from being the victim, being a victim of fate and being someone who is creating their
own fate?
I had, you have to find it, we all have it within us, right?
So I had to find it during that dark moment and that was in my first marriage to my, my
(06:20):
ex-husband who was severely abusive.
It's in our solar plexus, it's in our, it's a power center and that's where the
flame is.
And I was able to see just a tidbit of it and I knew that God had something more in store
for me.
I could feel it.
The nudges were, were being, I don't want to say nudge to me, were we'll be spoken to
be whispered to me as, as somebody who is born and raised, it capped like I'm very spiritual,
(06:47):
very gifted.
So I could hear this, I could feel this.
I knew I was meant for something more.
So I just had to take the bull by the horns and just start slowly but surely peeling back
the layers of the onion.
Because it's painful to just face it, head on, all that.
So how did you start doing that to peel back those layers when you don't, like people
(07:09):
are scared to start peeling them back?
Like was there coaching or just an internal dive that you did?
How did you facilitate that within yourself to get it started?
Absolutely.
What a great question.
And I like to use humor.
So I'll tell you a really funny story about all of this.
(07:31):
So I started simply with affirmations and meditation.
That was it.
And then I started with a therapist.
And with therapy, they're only going to let you, they're only going to push you so much
until you're ready to peel that onion.
So here I am doing my affirmations, doing my meditations, going through therapy.
(07:55):
And then I'm healing surface level healing.
It wasn't until I was in a, how do you want to say it?
Group program, let's say my ex, my husband and I decided to try this group therapeutic program.
And I write about this and it's in my book, Pieces of Me.
(08:16):
And it's something that kids will walk through.
It's basically from a therapeutic boarding school that moms and dads will send their kids
to that are in need of some deep help themselves.
So I'm like, yeah, this is fun.
Let's do this.
You know, we'll be out in Utah.
We're going to have fun.
It's three days after the first, the first half of the first day.
(08:42):
I just, I was in the phomac my doctor.
And I'm like, I'm in St. George and you're going to have to call me in some Xanax.
Because I don't know if I need to check myself into an emergency room, but I can't breathe
that I'm being suffocated.
And I just want to run and I just want to have a cigarette and I can't deal with this.
(09:03):
And these therapists at this therapeutic boarding school, they exactly knew what I was going
through and they made me sit through it.
They made me sit through the pain and face it and talk me through it.
And it was the hardest thing to face when you go 40 plus years in life just doing that surface
(09:27):
face healing.
But when you finally decide, yeah, let's do this.
It's a piece of cake.
But to face those demons and realize like, wow, I've been abandoned by my mother my whole
entire life.
Like this person in my family did this, like I like, those are some deep rooted.
(09:48):
Yes, cords that need to be cut.
It was tough.
I find that so helpful.
Like thank you for sharing it because sometimes to know where to start is it is such a challenge.
So to hear that it started with daily affirmations and meditation, you know, we talk about that
a lot on the show as such a entry point into the soul and into the heart and into the mind.
(10:14):
So to hear that that's where it started for you and then continuing to layer more experiences
and opportunities, I'll like painful to help walk that path with you.
It helps to paint a picture of what can help other people.
So thank you.
Absolutely.
(10:34):
Yes.
There's something that else you had to overcome or pass through or break out of and your
second book is about this forgiveness.
What was forgiveness like for you that experience?
I just feel like love coming out of my heart is I just think about it.
(10:56):
Oh my goodness.
It's beautiful.
It's hard.
It is.
So it's just think like think of the next husband.
Think of just think of those moments of those people that have really hurt you and a lot
of people hold on to these grudges and these memories and I don't think they understand
the full capacity that when we're holding on to this, we're allowing them to still have
(11:20):
power over us.
So on my healing journey as I'm doing this deep work, deep work, deep work and facing
the reality that I have a second marriage that's coming to an end in a closure that I am
able to look at all these people in my life that played part significant, significant parts,
(11:45):
significant lessons that have been talked to me in these seasons and push past that pain
where there's the unconditional love and just set them free because ultimately you're
setting yourself free.
It's the only way that I can explain it is being able to set yourself free and they
(12:08):
no longer hold that bondage over you and to be able to say I love you and I forgive
you and thank you for teaching me those lessons because they were hard.
They were painful.
My second husband by far was what a beautiful relationship and friendship but I was taught
some of the hardest lessons but at the end of the day I know my value and myself worth.
(12:35):
I love myself.
I didn't have any of that.
I had to repair all those archetypes that we'll get into.
Yes.
I think that bridges so beautifully.
I thought you shared on your website and in your book around the evolving nature of relationships
and as you outline especially in your 40s and 50s with an emphasis on building connections
(13:02):
based on friendship and mutual respect.
What I also really love about what you wrote is that you mentioned the rise of elevated
standards and the importance of personal growth.
I think those elevated standards come from exactly what you just spoke towards that very
(13:23):
worked upon sense of self that you're not looking to others to determine your value and
how that helps you to show up in relationships in a completely different way.
I'm wondering your thoughts on setting higher standards in relationships and how that's
contributed to a more fulfilling life.
(13:43):
In regards to setting the higher standards, so I'm new to this now.
I'm coming out of that second marriage but in regards to discovering this and setting
higher standards in just relationships in general, basic friendships.
I'm going to give you an energetic exchange of love and support and gratitude.
(14:08):
I expect that to be in return and if it doesn't then I know how to set a firm or boundary.
Yes, energetically and just physically.
We keep things maybe a little more surface based in those relationships but the relationships
that I can really nurture and support and grow most definitely.
(14:30):
There's so much love then that we have in those friendships that they're family to me
now.
Yes, and now as I embark on this part two journey that I have, you know, I'm not looking to
hop into a relationship that's not it.
But my standards and expectations, I don't want to say expectations because they hate putting
(14:50):
the word expectations on it.
But just the standards that I have for myself, I know, yes, they're very high, the value.
I know my worth.
And if somebody can't see that, then we have to go.
So do you believe you could have found that without the pain and the trials of the relationships
(15:12):
that you have to go through?
Did you have to go through the war zone to get to peace?
Good question.
So we go two ways.
I could say no.
I could have learned right away as a young adult.
However, I believe God put me on this path for a specific reason.
And the path that I've been given, the cross that I've had to bear for this long, like I
(15:37):
stated earlier, has taught me all these beautiful lessons in a very painful, hard way.
Yet, it's meant to be medicine for somebody else's soul, to be that teacher for somebody
else.
I believe this was all, I honestly do believe this was all orchestrated.
I believe we contract our lives out to be honest with you.
(15:58):
We want to go down that route.
Yeah, we're going to go there.
Let's just go there.
I believe I signed up for this.
I believe I had some karmic lessons that needed to be paid off and some debt.
And I've told God I said, I don't want to come back human next time.
You know, put me as a, yeah.
But I really do.
I think that there were some definite karmic debts that needed to be paid and some lessons
(16:24):
that I had to learn in this lifetime.
So I don't have to repeat it next time.
Yeah.
Well, I think that that's a, I mean, it's from, I think that there's a deeper knowing with,
when you experience those sort of hardships that you, it's not about sympathizing with others,
(16:46):
you can truly empathize in the heart of like the, the darkness of the soul with somebody
who's walked through that valley.
And there's a way that you resonate with people who are going through that that I feel
that someone who hasn't gone through it just won't have that experience to be able to
(17:07):
share.
So of course, you know, we, we don't wish, I wouldn't wish any of that on anyone, but for
the people who have gone through it, the camaraderie that you can find and seeing someone
who's gone through it too and risen out of it, you know, not be burdened down by the shame,
when shame really should be on the, on the switch sides.
(17:29):
I think that it's, it's immensely powerful.
So I just honor what you said there.
Thank you.
It's compassion.
We have to have grace and compassion.
And if I could walk amongst somebody that's going through the same thing and hold space
for them with compassion and grace, absolutely.
I'm your partner.
(17:49):
Yeah, that's what healers do.
That's what we do.
Yeah.
So is that the foundation for she is you?
She is you?
Yes.
So I didn't have a place to turn to when I started my healing journey.
I started with meditation and affirmations.
Maybe popped a meditation on YouTube and, you know, all that good stuff.
And then when I queried my book, pieces of me right before COVID, I heard back from somebody
(18:15):
in New York.
It was the best experience ever.
Tell you how determined I am.
I got this letter and they're like, you know, thank you for your interest.
Nobody knows who you are and memoirs are hard to sell.
And I took this as a, not a no, but like, give me, give me a minute here.
(18:36):
Like hold, hold my beer.
I'll be right back.
Challenge accepted.
Yes.
I got, I got a brand to build.
I have to get on social media and this has all been like self-invested, self-paid.
It's maybe not the beautiful orchestrated, but it's me doing this and a little team that
(19:00):
I have behind me that supports me and loves me and they've been with me from the very beginning.
And it happened.
Then I was picked up.
And the best part about the pickup from the publisher that I got picked up was, so I
am spiritually gifted and I had a dream and sometimes these dreams are just maybe visions, we'll
say, okay?
So I had this dream of a pink envelope coming in the mail with a certain font and I woke
(19:27):
up and I'm like, it's key for a spirit.
I told my husband, it's here.
It's here.
It's coming.
I'm going to be picked up, but you have to remember, a spirit works on a different timeline.
So I'm very impatient and I think that's one of my lessons that I am being taught this season
in this lifetime.
I'm like, okay, check in the mailbox.
What is it going to come?
(19:48):
I'm done.
I had the message.
I received an email and it was the pink letterhead in her business with the font and I'm
like, oh my goodness.
I had to share that story with her.
I'm like, you don't understand like this is what I saw a year and a half ago.
Yeah.
Something that we love to ask our guests, Felicity, and I think there's something very powerful
(20:12):
to your story and how you view this.
But we love to ask our guests, what does feminine mean to you?
Oh, I love it because I'm asking for this.
Feminine is that energy where we are in a state of receiving.
We sit back and we are open to receiving.
(20:34):
We birth ideas, creativity, light, nurture.
We support.
It's just this beautiful light of receiving and birthing in creation.
That to me is the feminine energy.
Something I need more of, something that I'm learning to tap into when I can.
(20:59):
How do you find that in this chapter of your life that you're exploring your feminine energy
or tapping into it in new ways?
Like what helps you to breathe in cultivating that?
Because I think that often we live in a very masculineized world and I think a lot of people
(21:20):
are looking to understand what feminine means in each of us in a world that has distorted
it.
I'm interested in how you're enjoying that piece of yourself.
I love it.
That is by far one of the awesome questions that I've heard in such a long time.
(21:41):
Because we do live in a society that makes us have to armor up as women.
I highly recommend to all my clients get into dance, get into a woman's circle, go to a drumming
ceremony and just let that feminine just dance it out.
Because that's your sacral chakra that's going to open up.
(22:03):
That's your kundalini energy.
Tap into that.
Tap into art.
Self-care, journaling.
Be able to mentally think on your drive home from work.
You're just placing that masculine energy in the passenger seat.
When you enter those doors, you are now the feminine, whether it's mom, wife, and just
(22:25):
soften up, self-care.
For me, it's like the drumming circles and all those fun things.
I love it because it is.
It's that kundalini energy that fire that starts to just build up and breathe and just release
and let out.
It's beautiful, especially with a group of women.
I enjoy that so much.
I feel like art and even the ways that we conceptualize our next move.
(22:48):
There's the offspring of our loins that the feminine, you know, but there's also the
offspring of our mind and our heart.
I think connecting to those pieces that feel very feminine for me as well is.
It's important to me when I get home and I really try to exercise ways to bring that into
my work life because my work can be very hyper-masculine.
(23:13):
I think introducing that kind of energy to the working world, I think it's a challenge.
But it makes a big difference.
It makes a big difference.
Do you think we're going to see a shift?
I think we'll see a shift.
I think so.
I hope.
That is what the show is all about.
(23:34):
It is an aiding and having that shift conscious.
That's why we talk about these topics.
The one thing that I would caution is that a lot of people, when they hear the word feminine
or think of the energy of feminine, they think primarily, if not exclusively, of female.
(23:57):
It is an energy and it is within, it doesn't matter the sex or the gender, it is accessible
to everyone and can be expressed and needs to be expressed by everyone, including men.
I want to definitely put that on the table as well.
I agree.
Bring in that yang and yang back to this 21st century that we're in, that's within each
(24:21):
of us.
Part of that is the flip side of the coin of normally when we hear about masculinity, it's
in the sense, predominantly, I feel these days is what toxic masculinity is.
But emerging trends with men who are more involved with their families, men who are not wanting
to get attention or control through abuse, these ways of honoring the masculine within us as
(24:50):
well that isn't about domination, aggression and control, but about perhaps structure and
direction.
Because I feel like not that you can ever put these things in a nutshell because they are
so vast.
But I feel for me, if I had to do that, it would be that the feminine is the being and
(25:10):
the masculine is the doing.
And that both of those in us are so very important.
I would only change one word instead of toxic, which has become sort of a catch phrase for
everything.
I would say the rewarded masculine.
That's a good one.
That is a good one.
(25:34):
Oh, that's a topic.
Is it ever?
Yeah.
Christopher, my drop.
Okay.
I know.
I'm like, it's a sculptor's show.
All right.
Oh, hello.
And rewarded masculine.
You are 100% right.
Maybe it's time we do pull away from that and start giving credit to that, to the men out
(26:00):
there that are doing that, that are staying at home and working from home or my brother is
a stay at home father.
His wife is the one that works.
It's the balance.
She's got a business he's growing and yes.
Absolutely.
And toxic.
Yeah.
I love it.
That's really nice to hear.
The other thing that we love to ask our guest's Felicity is if there's one or if all three
(26:23):
resonate for you or one in particular of the virgin, the beauty and the bitch.
If there's a visceral response or what that word means to you now or over time, we love
that to feed back from our guests.
I think it's pretty.
When I think of virgin, I go to Mary Magdalene.
(26:44):
I don't know why.
There's a purity with that when it comes to the beauty.
I think of the feminine.
It just everything that we emulate.
And then when it goes, when we think about the bitch, that's the dark femme in me.
That's like, that's the, yeah, that's a dark femme.
Yeah.
(27:05):
Yeah.
Yes.
That's the dark femme, the Latina side of me.
Yeah.
We love that side.
We love that side.
Yes.
We have to tame her, but yes.
But she can't be tamed, which is part of the fun.
You are so smart on with that.
I've had men tell me that are really close guy friends of mine that are just like the
(27:29):
wild needs to come out.
The wild needs to be set free.
And that has been resonating so strong with me.
That'll be part two.
Mm-hmm.
I love that.
Oh, I'm getting chills right now because it feels so right.
I feel so good.
Yes.
Yeah.
The construction that we've been in for so long.
All right.
So long.
So rigid confines and.
(27:51):
Mm-mm.
It's interesting that before we started this recording that you and I, Felicity, were talking
about your upcoming and being on TED TV at some point.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
We talked about your, you know, having a vocal coach and trying to open up the other side
(28:14):
of you.
I think that's the side of you you're trying to reach when you're on stage for your
TED TV.
That's the side of you that you're trying to, you know, show the world.
It's there.
Yeah.
It is.
She's got to be suffering.
That's my goal on this season.
Fantastic.
(28:34):
Yes.
I love it.
Fantastic.
This is about that.
Yes.
So, I mean, we would love to be able to share how do people find out more about you?
Where can our listeners tune into your story?
Find your books, all of the platforms that they may be able to get to know you better
and the amazing healing work that you bring.
(28:56):
Yes.
Absolutely.
So, you could visit Amazon or my website for my books.
The higher consciousness approach to forgiveness should be released.
I would say within the next few months.
And regards to my website, sheisyoumag.com, FelicityNicole.com.
(29:18):
And then just follow me Instagram FelicityNicole, you know, @FelicityNicole or however you put
those.
But we have my face.
You'll see it there.
You'll see it everywhere.
You know, a tiktok.
I love it all.
Yes.
I think if we could just come authentically ourselves.
Absolutely.
We are big and hot.
(29:38):
Yeah.
So, we started this conversation.
I started this conversation by saying that I don't even know you, but I like you already.
And now that we've talked for a few minutes here, I like you even more.
Christopher, God bless.
Thank you.
You are an incredible human being.
And what you have come through and the way that you have alchemized your pain into what
(29:59):
it is now that you use to help others is absolutely priceless.
Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That means a lot to me.
Thank you.
That's a gift.
It's been such a pleasure to have you join us today.
Thank you Felicity.
It's really, it's been a joy and fun.
Thank you.
It has been.
Thank you once again.
(30:20):
I love it.
And do you have been listening to the Virgin, the beauty and the dark fan bitch?
We're letting her out.
Yes, we are.
Find us.
Like us.
Share us.
You want to come on back because we're going to have more of this deeper darker later.
All of it.
(30:40):
Come on back.
We've become a partner in the BBB community.
We invite you to find us at virginbeautybitch.com.
Click us on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.
And share us with people who are defiantly different.
Like you.
(31:01):
Until next time, thanks for listening.
(upbeat music)
Inspiring women to overcome social stereotypes and share
(00:09):
unique life experiences without fear of being defiantly different.
Your hosts, Christopher and Heather, let's talk, shall we?
Fate can be ironic in that the people who can make all the difference in our fate in
life are the people we don't get to choose.
(00:32):
No one chooses their family of origin.
Some are born into unconditional love or abundance, while others must endure abuse, neglect,
or worse.
Our family can make us or break us.
But our guest today is living proof that how we begin in life doesn't have to determine
our fate throughout our lives.
(00:54):
We welcome two-time international best-selling author, creator, speaker, intuitive mentor
and CEO, CEO Felicity Nicole to Virgin Beauty Bitch.
Welcome Felicity.
Thank you for having me, you both are beautiful souls.
Wow.
I'm excited.
I'm going to set that right back at you.
(01:15):
Yes.
Yes.
Felicity, we don't know one another, but I can tell you right now that it is very easy to
like you.
You know why?
I can count on one finger the people I know who have lived a charmed childhood.
The rest of us either hide our truth behind a wall of shame or we use it as a sympathy magnet
(01:38):
while others share it with bitterness and hate.
You do none of the above.
Maybe you can share some of your origin story and from there we can get into how you made
it your fuel and not your fate.
I love that.
What a beautiful question.
So I am a childhood trauma domestic violence survivor.
I witnessed my father attempt to murder my mom at the age of 10 and from there I just grew
(02:05):
up in a highly toxic dysfunctional family.
I have been, I'm 47, I'll be 48 in May, I have been emotionally, mentally, physically
and unfortunately sexually abused pretty much the majority of my life.
But what you said earlier is within regards to the bitterness or hiding behind that is I've
(02:27):
managed to face those demons that generational trauma.
I became that cycle breaker in my family and that was in order to help my son.
It's really about him.
Yeah.
So in a cycle of somewhat you were created by your forebears to be who you are but in your
(02:49):
son you saw hope of being something else and bringing something else.
That's powerful.
It's powerful.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think as a mother or just in general, somebody that we love, right?
We don't have to be a mother.
It could be a best friend or another family member that, you know, we sacrifice, I'll sacrifice,
(03:13):
we sacrifice for the better good of them.
And so, you know, he too has a lot of his own baggage and that's for him to tell if he
decides to ever share his story.
But yeah, I've done all of this for my son because he has a new road to go on to that's
free of the boxes that family curses or ancestral trauma will put us into.
(03:40):
I mean, you're everything that you've taken from your experiences as a child and how it's
fueled who you are today and to really encourage women to discover their own inner wisdom.
It's honestly uplifting to hear all the times that you've spoken and the way that you're
(04:02):
very personable with even a wide broad audience.
And I'm just wondering from the work that you've done, like for women who have either as
Christopher said kind of been held under shame or, you know, I think that one of the emerging
things that happened after that Giselle case in France, it is the narrative that shame
(04:27):
needs to switch sides and that the more that women or people who have been abused are
cloaked in the shame of their perpetrator that it just allows for a lot more violence
to continue.
So in that transition for you or perhaps an ongoing evolution, what was that like for
(04:49):
you or continues to be like to not have the shame cloak you but to instead inform finding
your deeper wisdom?
Yes, I am an alchemist, right?
So we are going to, we have two choices.
We can either sit in mess and I can like we discussed earlier and I can just play the
(05:12):
victim and live the life that was given to me or that was designed for me or I can be
the voice to myself and I can take all of that pain, all of that deep therapy that I've
done, all of those dark moments I've had to face and I can alchemize all that through
(05:33):
healing and to something more powerful and that is the gift of my voice.
I am the voice for all of those that haven't had the courage to speak out yet and that's
what I'm really, that's the platform, that's what it's about.
It's medicine for the soul.
Felicity, is that innate in all of us or what is it that broke the seal for you?
(05:57):
To go from being the victim, being a victim of fate and being someone who is creating their
own fate?
I had, you have to find it, we all have it within us, right?
So I had to find it during that dark moment and that was in my first marriage to my, my
(06:20):
ex-husband who was severely abusive.
It's in our solar plexus, it's in our, it's a power center and that's where the
flame is.
And I was able to see just a tidbit of it and I knew that God had something more in store
for me.
I could feel it.
The nudges were, were being, I don't want to say nudge to me, were we'll be spoken to
be whispered to me as, as somebody who is born and raised, it capped like I'm very spiritual,
(06:47):
very gifted.
So I could hear this, I could feel this.
I knew I was meant for something more.
So I just had to take the bull by the horns and just start slowly but surely peeling back
the layers of the onion.
Because it's painful to just face it, head on, all that.
So how did you start doing that to peel back those layers when you don't, like people
(07:09):
are scared to start peeling them back?
Like was there coaching or just an internal dive that you did?
How did you facilitate that within yourself to get it started?
Absolutely.
What a great question.
And I like to use humor.
So I'll tell you a really funny story about all of this.
(07:31):
So I started simply with affirmations and meditation.
That was it.
And then I started with a therapist.
And with therapy, they're only going to let you, they're only going to push you so much
until you're ready to peel that onion.
So here I am doing my affirmations, doing my meditations, going through therapy.
(07:55):
And then I'm healing surface level healing.
It wasn't until I was in a, how do you want to say it?
Group program, let's say my ex, my husband and I decided to try this group therapeutic program.
And I write about this and it's in my book, Pieces of Me.
(08:16):
And it's something that kids will walk through.
It's basically from a therapeutic boarding school that moms and dads will send their kids
to that are in need of some deep help themselves.
So I'm like, yeah, this is fun.
Let's do this.
You know, we'll be out in Utah.
We're going to have fun.
It's three days after the first, the first half of the first day.
(08:42):
I just, I was in the phomac my doctor.
And I'm like, I'm in St. George and you're going to have to call me in some Xanax.
Because I don't know if I need to check myself into an emergency room, but I can't breathe
that I'm being suffocated.
And I just want to run and I just want to have a cigarette and I can't deal with this.
(09:03):
And these therapists at this therapeutic boarding school, they exactly knew what I was going
through and they made me sit through it.
They made me sit through the pain and face it and talk me through it.
And it was the hardest thing to face when you go 40 plus years in life just doing that surface
(09:27):
face healing.
But when you finally decide, yeah, let's do this.
It's a piece of cake.
But to face those demons and realize like, wow, I've been abandoned by my mother my whole
entire life.
Like this person in my family did this, like I like, those are some deep rooted.
(09:48):
Yes, cords that need to be cut.
It was tough.
I find that so helpful.
Like thank you for sharing it because sometimes to know where to start is it is such a challenge.
So to hear that it started with daily affirmations and meditation, you know, we talk about that
a lot on the show as such a entry point into the soul and into the heart and into the mind.
(10:14):
So to hear that that's where it started for you and then continuing to layer more experiences
and opportunities, I'll like painful to help walk that path with you.
It helps to paint a picture of what can help other people.
So thank you.
Absolutely.
(10:34):
Yes.
There's something that else you had to overcome or pass through or break out of and your
second book is about this forgiveness.
What was forgiveness like for you that experience?
I just feel like love coming out of my heart is I just think about it.
(10:56):
Oh my goodness.
It's beautiful.
It's hard.
It is.
So it's just think like think of the next husband.
Think of just think of those moments of those people that have really hurt you and a lot
of people hold on to these grudges and these memories and I don't think they understand
the full capacity that when we're holding on to this, we're allowing them to still have
(11:20):
power over us.
So on my healing journey as I'm doing this deep work, deep work, deep work and facing
the reality that I have a second marriage that's coming to an end in a closure that I am
able to look at all these people in my life that played part significant, significant parts,
(11:45):
significant lessons that have been talked to me in these seasons and push past that pain
where there's the unconditional love and just set them free because ultimately you're
setting yourself free.
It's the only way that I can explain it is being able to set yourself free and they
(12:08):
no longer hold that bondage over you and to be able to say I love you and I forgive
you and thank you for teaching me those lessons because they were hard.
They were painful.
My second husband by far was what a beautiful relationship and friendship but I was taught
some of the hardest lessons but at the end of the day I know my value and myself worth.
(12:35):
I love myself.
I didn't have any of that.
I had to repair all those archetypes that we'll get into.
Yes.
I think that bridges so beautifully.
I thought you shared on your website and in your book around the evolving nature of relationships
and as you outline especially in your 40s and 50s with an emphasis on building connections
(13:02):
based on friendship and mutual respect.
What I also really love about what you wrote is that you mentioned the rise of elevated
standards and the importance of personal growth.
I think those elevated standards come from exactly what you just spoke towards that very
(13:23):
worked upon sense of self that you're not looking to others to determine your value and
how that helps you to show up in relationships in a completely different way.
I'm wondering your thoughts on setting higher standards in relationships and how that's
contributed to a more fulfilling life.
(13:43):
In regards to setting the higher standards, so I'm new to this now.
I'm coming out of that second marriage but in regards to discovering this and setting
higher standards in just relationships in general, basic friendships.
I'm going to give you an energetic exchange of love and support and gratitude.
(14:08):
I expect that to be in return and if it doesn't then I know how to set a firm or boundary.
Yes, energetically and just physically.
We keep things maybe a little more surface based in those relationships but the relationships
that I can really nurture and support and grow most definitely.
(14:30):
There's so much love then that we have in those friendships that they're family to me
now.
Yes, and now as I embark on this part two journey that I have, you know, I'm not looking to
hop into a relationship that's not it.
But my standards and expectations, I don't want to say expectations because they hate putting
(14:50):
the word expectations on it.
But just the standards that I have for myself, I know, yes, they're very high, the value.
I know my worth.
And if somebody can't see that, then we have to go.
So do you believe you could have found that without the pain and the trials of the relationships
(15:12):
that you have to go through?
Did you have to go through the war zone to get to peace?
Good question.
So we go two ways.
I could say no.
I could have learned right away as a young adult.
However, I believe God put me on this path for a specific reason.
And the path that I've been given, the cross that I've had to bear for this long, like I
(15:37):
stated earlier, has taught me all these beautiful lessons in a very painful, hard way.
Yet, it's meant to be medicine for somebody else's soul, to be that teacher for somebody
else.
I believe this was all, I honestly do believe this was all orchestrated.
I believe we contract our lives out to be honest with you.
(15:58):
We want to go down that route.
Yeah, we're going to go there.
Let's just go there.
I believe I signed up for this.
I believe I had some karmic lessons that needed to be paid off and some debt.
And I've told God I said, I don't want to come back human next time.
You know, put me as a, yeah.
But I really do.
I think that there were some definite karmic debts that needed to be paid and some lessons
(16:24):
that I had to learn in this lifetime.
So I don't have to repeat it next time.
Yeah.
Well, I think that that's a, I mean, it's from, I think that there's a deeper knowing with,
when you experience those sort of hardships that you, it's not about sympathizing with others,
(16:46):
you can truly empathize in the heart of like the, the darkness of the soul with somebody
who's walked through that valley.
And there's a way that you resonate with people who are going through that that I feel
that someone who hasn't gone through it just won't have that experience to be able to
(17:07):
share.
So of course, you know, we, we don't wish, I wouldn't wish any of that on anyone, but for
the people who have gone through it, the camaraderie that you can find and seeing someone
who's gone through it too and risen out of it, you know, not be burdened down by the shame,
when shame really should be on the, on the switch sides.
(17:29):
I think that it's, it's immensely powerful.
So I just honor what you said there.
Thank you.
It's compassion.
We have to have grace and compassion.
And if I could walk amongst somebody that's going through the same thing and hold space
for them with compassion and grace, absolutely.
I'm your partner.
(17:49):
Yeah, that's what healers do.
That's what we do.
Yeah.
So is that the foundation for she is you?
She is you?
Yes.
So I didn't have a place to turn to when I started my healing journey.
I started with meditation and affirmations.
Maybe popped a meditation on YouTube and, you know, all that good stuff.
And then when I queried my book, pieces of me right before COVID, I heard back from somebody
(18:15):
in New York.
It was the best experience ever.
Tell you how determined I am.
I got this letter and they're like, you know, thank you for your interest.
Nobody knows who you are and memoirs are hard to sell.
And I took this as a, not a no, but like, give me, give me a minute here.
(18:36):
Like hold, hold my beer.
I'll be right back.
Challenge accepted.
Yes.
I got, I got a brand to build.
I have to get on social media and this has all been like self-invested, self-paid.
It's maybe not the beautiful orchestrated, but it's me doing this and a little team that
(19:00):
I have behind me that supports me and loves me and they've been with me from the very beginning.
And it happened.
Then I was picked up.
And the best part about the pickup from the publisher that I got picked up was, so I
am spiritually gifted and I had a dream and sometimes these dreams are just maybe visions, we'll
say, okay?
So I had this dream of a pink envelope coming in the mail with a certain font and I woke
(19:27):
up and I'm like, it's key for a spirit.
I told my husband, it's here.
It's here.
It's coming.
I'm going to be picked up, but you have to remember, a spirit works on a different timeline.
So I'm very impatient and I think that's one of my lessons that I am being taught this season
in this lifetime.
I'm like, okay, check in the mailbox.
What is it going to come?
(19:48):
I'm done.
I had the message.
I received an email and it was the pink letterhead in her business with the font and I'm
like, oh my goodness.
I had to share that story with her.
I'm like, you don't understand like this is what I saw a year and a half ago.
Yeah.
Something that we love to ask our guests, Felicity, and I think there's something very powerful
(20:12):
to your story and how you view this.
But we love to ask our guests, what does feminine mean to you?
Oh, I love it because I'm asking for this.
Feminine is that energy where we are in a state of receiving.
We sit back and we are open to receiving.
(20:34):
We birth ideas, creativity, light, nurture.
We support.
It's just this beautiful light of receiving and birthing in creation.
That to me is the feminine energy.
Something I need more of, something that I'm learning to tap into when I can.
(20:59):
How do you find that in this chapter of your life that you're exploring your feminine energy
or tapping into it in new ways?
Like what helps you to breathe in cultivating that?
Because I think that often we live in a very masculineized world and I think a lot of people
(21:20):
are looking to understand what feminine means in each of us in a world that has distorted
it.
I'm interested in how you're enjoying that piece of yourself.
I love it.
That is by far one of the awesome questions that I've heard in such a long time.
(21:41):
Because we do live in a society that makes us have to armor up as women.
I highly recommend to all my clients get into dance, get into a woman's circle, go to a drumming
ceremony and just let that feminine just dance it out.
Because that's your sacral chakra that's going to open up.
(22:03):
That's your kundalini energy.
Tap into that.
Tap into art.
Self-care, journaling.
Be able to mentally think on your drive home from work.
You're just placing that masculine energy in the passenger seat.
When you enter those doors, you are now the feminine, whether it's mom, wife, and just
(22:25):
soften up, self-care.
For me, it's like the drumming circles and all those fun things.
I love it because it is.
It's that kundalini energy that fire that starts to just build up and breathe and just release
and let out.
It's beautiful, especially with a group of women.
I enjoy that so much.
I feel like art and even the ways that we conceptualize our next move.
(22:48):
There's the offspring of our loins that the feminine, you know, but there's also the
offspring of our mind and our heart.
I think connecting to those pieces that feel very feminine for me as well is.
It's important to me when I get home and I really try to exercise ways to bring that into
my work life because my work can be very hyper-masculine.
(23:13):
I think introducing that kind of energy to the working world, I think it's a challenge.
But it makes a big difference.
It makes a big difference.
Do you think we're going to see a shift?
I think we'll see a shift.
I think so.
I hope.
That is what the show is all about.
(23:34):
It is an aiding and having that shift conscious.
That's why we talk about these topics.
The one thing that I would caution is that a lot of people, when they hear the word feminine
or think of the energy of feminine, they think primarily, if not exclusively, of female.
(23:57):
It is an energy and it is within, it doesn't matter the sex or the gender, it is accessible
to everyone and can be expressed and needs to be expressed by everyone, including men.
I want to definitely put that on the table as well.
I agree.
Bring in that yang and yang back to this 21st century that we're in, that's within each
(24:21):
of us.
Part of that is the flip side of the coin of normally when we hear about masculinity, it's
in the sense, predominantly, I feel these days is what toxic masculinity is.
But emerging trends with men who are more involved with their families, men who are not wanting
to get attention or control through abuse, these ways of honoring the masculine within us as
(24:50):
well that isn't about domination, aggression and control, but about perhaps structure and
direction.
Because I feel like not that you can ever put these things in a nutshell because they are
so vast.
But I feel for me, if I had to do that, it would be that the feminine is the being and
(25:10):
the masculine is the doing.
And that both of those in us are so very important.
I would only change one word instead of toxic, which has become sort of a catch phrase for
everything.
I would say the rewarded masculine.
That's a good one.
That is a good one.
(25:34):
Oh, that's a topic.
Is it ever?
Yeah.
Christopher, my drop.
Okay.
I know.
I'm like, it's a sculptor's show.
All right.
Oh, hello.
And rewarded masculine.
You are 100% right.
Maybe it's time we do pull away from that and start giving credit to that, to the men out
(26:00):
there that are doing that, that are staying at home and working from home or my brother is
a stay at home father.
His wife is the one that works.
It's the balance.
She's got a business he's growing and yes.
Absolutely.
And toxic.
Yeah.
I love it.
That's really nice to hear.
The other thing that we love to ask our guest's Felicity is if there's one or if all three
(26:23):
resonate for you or one in particular of the virgin, the beauty and the bitch.
If there's a visceral response or what that word means to you now or over time, we love
that to feed back from our guests.
I think it's pretty.
When I think of virgin, I go to Mary Magdalene.
(26:44):
I don't know why.
There's a purity with that when it comes to the beauty.
I think of the feminine.
It just everything that we emulate.
And then when it goes, when we think about the bitch, that's the dark femme in me.
That's like, that's the, yeah, that's a dark femme.
Yeah.
(27:05):
Yeah.
Yes.
That's the dark femme, the Latina side of me.
Yeah.
We love that side.
We love that side.
Yes.
We have to tame her, but yes.
But she can't be tamed, which is part of the fun.
You are so smart on with that.
I've had men tell me that are really close guy friends of mine that are just like the
(27:29):
wild needs to come out.
The wild needs to be set free.
And that has been resonating so strong with me.
That'll be part two.
Mm-hmm.
I love that.
Oh, I'm getting chills right now because it feels so right.
I feel so good.
Yes.
Yeah.
The construction that we've been in for so long.
All right.
So long.
So rigid confines and.
(27:51):
Mm-mm.
It's interesting that before we started this recording that you and I, Felicity, were talking
about your upcoming and being on TED TV at some point.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
We talked about your, you know, having a vocal coach and trying to open up the other side
(28:14):
of you.
I think that's the side of you you're trying to reach when you're on stage for your
TED TV.
That's the side of you that you're trying to, you know, show the world.
It's there.
Yeah.
It is.
She's got to be suffering.
That's my goal on this season.
Fantastic.
(28:34):
Yes.
I love it.
Fantastic.
This is about that.
Yes.
So, I mean, we would love to be able to share how do people find out more about you?
Where can our listeners tune into your story?
Find your books, all of the platforms that they may be able to get to know you better
and the amazing healing work that you bring.
(28:56):
Yes.
Absolutely.
So, you could visit Amazon or my website for my books.
The higher consciousness approach to forgiveness should be released.
I would say within the next few months.
And regards to my website, sheisyoumag.com, FelicityNicole.com.
(29:18):
And then just follow me Instagram FelicityNicole, you know, @FelicityNicole or however you put
those.
But we have my face.
You'll see it there.
You'll see it everywhere.
You know, a tiktok.
I love it all.
Yes.
I think if we could just come authentically ourselves.
Absolutely.
We are big and hot.
(29:38):
Yeah.
So, we started this conversation.
I started this conversation by saying that I don't even know you, but I like you already.
And now that we've talked for a few minutes here, I like you even more.
Christopher, God bless.
Thank you.
You are an incredible human being.
And what you have come through and the way that you have alchemized your pain into what
(29:59):
it is now that you use to help others is absolutely priceless.
Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That means a lot to me.
Thank you.
That's a gift.
It's been such a pleasure to have you join us today.
Thank you Felicity.
It's really, it's been a joy and fun.
Thank you.
It has been.
Thank you once again.
(30:20):
I love it.
And do you have been listening to the Virgin, the beauty and the dark fan bitch?
We're letting her out.
Yes, we are.
Find us.
Like us.
Share us.
You want to come on back because we're going to have more of this deeper darker later.
All of it.
(30:40):
Come on back.
We've become a partner in the BBB community.
We invite you to find us at virginbeautybitch.com.
Click us on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.
And share us with people who are defiantly different.
Like you.
(31:01):
Until next time, thanks for listening.
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