April 20, 2025 • 66 mins
Walker Kimberly Brandt is not only a personable and engaging woman; she's also a remarkable actress who has shared Hollywood movie screens with legends like Pierce Brosnan and Linda Hamilton in "Dante's Peak" and Billy Crystal in "City Slickers." Her TV appearances include a memorable role in "Star Trek: The Next Generation" alongside Patrick Stewart. Walker is also a model, an international Best-selling author, and a coach whose transformative journey is deeply inspiring. Walker's candidness and vulnerability are compelling as she shares her upbringing in a toxic household steeped in challenges that nearly led to her suicide. She recalls her path to turning historic family trauma into a relationship with nature and with herself. Walker's proud that at age 16, she became an emancipated minor. Her story is a testament to harnessing inner strength and stepping into one's power, no matter the difficulties.
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Virgin.
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Beauty.
Bitch.
Podcast.
Inspiring women to overcome social stereotypes and share unique life experiences without fear
of being defiantly different.
Your hosts.
Christopher and Heather.
Let's talk, shall we?
What does not kill you makes you stronger.
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That is a cold, hard, brutal truth.
But what's the point of misery and suffering unless it transforms you into overcoming?
Or as lessons that can help others suffer less?
That noble goal happens to be the trajectory of our guest, actor, author, and coach Walker
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Kimberly Brandt.
Welcome Walker to Virgin Beauty Bitch.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for the invitation.
I'm excited to be there.
We are excited to have you believe me.
Walker, your career as an actress is an achievement.
It includes film roles in Dante's Peak with Pierce Brosnan and Linda Hamilton, City
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Slickers with Billy Crystal and on TV,
you've donned the Stark Trek uniform in the Next Generation with Patrick Stewart.
But you're also a model, a coach, and most recently a Number One International Best-Selling
Author.
Congratulations, and we'll get into that more as we move on here.
But life didn't bless you with a silver spoon in your mouth.
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Instead, from what I've read, life gave you a serving of misery and suffering that almost
ended in suicide.
Absolutely.
And for the longest time in my life, you know, just to talk for a second.
You know when you hear somebody like 22 years old and they're like, for my whole life, and
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you can't help it smile because you're like, oh, my dear, you have a ways to go.
I remember, and for the longest time, you know, up until my late 20s, early 30s, it was
really hard, even though I was creating success, to not allow, move beyond that pain in a way
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that wasn't compartmentalizing it so that I could create success.
And in being in sort of that strange space in between, which is not the most peaceful
place inside, I was made aware this is not what I want.
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With the same intensity that I was made aware as a young child out in nature that where
I was and the way that my family functioned was also not what I wanted and not going to
be my story.
Even though I didn't have the language, it wasn't going to be my story.
It was more of this is not what I am going to be and I am fighting against this and these
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people are nuts and they don't tell me the truth.
You know, I remember so many times looking at my mom and saying, what's the matter?
Why are you angry?
Why are you so mad?
And she would say, I'm not mad.
And it was like, as you know, we are so rooted in, as you said earlier, frequency, energy,
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we are so connected to the source around us, the creation that we just kind of flew through
into this beingness that we know when someone isn't flowing in their frequency, when they're
flowing in chaos and not the kind that makes magic like the universe, but the kind that
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butts up against that beautiful flow of the natural chaos of life that understands
that it's part of the adventure of life.
It's where all life comes from this blast of what looks like chaos, but it's life.
We have the sensitivity as a child and for whatever reason, I felt it knew that when I
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was around, was not the only thing because I felt at home in nature, which was a complete
unknown, a complete for all intents and purposes, chaos, because I couldn't define it.
I couldn't tell you why a blade of grass grew or why that salamander that I was so mesurized
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by would connect with me and why a rattlesnake wouldn't bite me, why I could pick up a
chipmonk that was injured.
I couldn't explain that to you.
It just was the way it was.
It made sense and it was this natural harmony of energy.
That creature, those creatures, everything around me knew I wasn't there to harm it.
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I knew I was part of it.
I knew it was part of me.
For some strange reason that maybe a psychologist might have the verbiage for it, but for me, it's
just a disassociation with the frequency and the harmony that you're meant to be that
happens in a dysfunctional family.
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That's what it seemed to me.
As my parents weren't these monsters, it's their behavior that was the monster.
It was the disassociation with the frequency that they were, that was their origin that
was the enemy in my house.
Because they weren't willing to battle it like I was willing to, I couldn't be there.
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I knew I had to leave.
I knew as a very little kid that the place that was going to feed me, that was going to
build strength around the frequency that I felt safe in, was out in nature and wasn't with
my family.
Being in the unknown wasn't something that, like most of all, like a lot of people, wasn't
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something that made me afraid.
What I knew was much more terrifying.
Not for me opened a huge door that I didn't know until my later years was a door that a
lot of people didn't know they had in front of them to open.
That the unknown was something that we come into and are really comfortable with from
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the beginning of our existence.
Not just this life, but I think our energy, the frequency that we are, the energy
that we are, is comfortable in that space because everything we become comes out of what we
don't know.
If we know everything, what are we doing?
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We're just repeating, right?
That's fascinating in that.
I think that what happens to children, all of us, is that we get conditioned out of that
exact thing you're talking about, the unknown.
We get conditioned out of that of our curiosity, of our need to find things out that aren't
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being told.
Exactly.
That never got conditioned fully into you because you left before the programming was complete.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And you know, a friend of mine, Michelle Colt, she's a beautiful soul and she's, people
call her the nervous system whisperer and what she calls that is con-ditioning.
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And I love how she uses words like that because it's true.
We are conned to believe that the very thing that we come into this life with isn't wise
enough, doesn't know enough, doesn't have the intellect that we need.
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And in truth, you can build up so much of your academic knowledge, your intellect and be
one of the most unhappiest people on the planet because it doesn't feed your soul, it feeds
the mind and the mind is only preoccupied for the most part with keeping you safe.
And for some reason, it thinks that safety is about information or what we know, which
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is back here and literally gathering it and throwing up in front of us and it makes us feel like,
oh, we're safe.
No, we're not.
If we have no adventure, we end up feeling stuck, un-fulfilled, dispassionate about life.
And that's about letting everything be from here up and not from starting from here and
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floating up and utilizing what we put inside this amazing computer of a brain, which I think
is a beautiful thing, but not meant to lead us around like a floating head with our heart
and our guts saying, hey, hang on a second, we're here.
It's like that old native saying, the man is the head and the woman is the neck.
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How far can the head go without the neck?
You've got to know you're literally going nowhere.
You're walking one direction and you're eventually going to either go up go off a cliff
or run into something and trip and fall.
You need to have this balance, right, and the mask and the feminine, and that working
together to create this beautiful harmony because life is meant to be an adventure where
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we work together, right, where we are not in denial of what we're experiencing, which
is what I experienced in my family, was everybody suppressing and in denial and thinking that
having the answers or saying, no, it isn't, is going to somehow, over time, make it disappear.
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It doesn't work that way, as you both know.
Well, that's what I love so much about your story, Walker, is that you didn't just survive
a difficult childhood and personal trauma, but you faced it and you looked it in the eye
and you said, you don't get to define me anymore.
And made some very bold moves in order to get to a state where you wanted to understand an
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awakening or what was really within.
Could you walk our listeners through that transition point of your journey?
Well, there's been several transition points, you know.
When I knew, as a three-year-old looking at my mom, this was a huge point where I recognized
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that my mom and I had a lot not in common, even though she was my mother.
It was when I looked at her and I said, what I said earlier, why are you so mad?
And she said, I'm not.
And I said, I know you mad, mommy.
And she said, no, I'm not.
And I said, I know in here, I know I can feel you.
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And in my mind, what I was trying to communicate was, before we started polluting the air with
all of our words, we felt each other and you're lying to me.
I know you're hurting and my mom wasn't being honest with me.
And she never really broke that wall between her and me.
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So that was a point of transition where I realized I'm not going to get what I need from
this person.
She's not going to give me what I need.
So I moved out seeking it the only place I could, which was a nature.
So that was transition point one, the pull away at a really young age from what would normally
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be the safety of my mother because she wasn't safe in her own skin.
She didn't feel safe.
She couldn't make me feel safe.
She knew one way, which was to suppress.
And it was either with alcohol or violence or sleep.
And that was just not what I knew because we wanted to be safe.
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We wanted to be bonded, but it wasn't happening.
And I have lost my grandmother that same year.
She was, I think if you've read "Awaken, you know, my grandmother" was a victim of domestic
violence.
My grandfather beat her daily and eventually she died as a result of a beating.
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And there was never any consequence for that in our family.
So the women carried the burden of that and the women drank to suppress.
And that was what was handed down.
It was also part of that generation being born in that masculine paradigm.
When women just did what the men told them to do.
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And they were, you know, just in that second class sort of citizen, women didn't even get
to vote.
I don't know if that one got to vote and get to open a bank account without a husband co-signing
at the late '60s.
Just really bizarre behavior, you know.
And we don't know that as children.
Why are mothers and our aunties are so, you know, burdened and why they're drinking and
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why they're, they look, you know, shell-shocked.
Well, it was, it was the suppression that had been handed down.
And there was something inside of me that said, "I'm not going to do this."
The next time was during my teen period, 13 years old, that was a pinnacle time, 11 to 13.
My body's changing.
I'm becoming a woman.
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And this meant a lack of freedom in a way that I didn't connect with before.
I recognized some of what my family went through.
By the way, my mom treated that huge transition for women.
When we start our cycle, it's a coming of age.
And in my family, it was a burden.
It was a time to be afraid because you were a woman.
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It was a time when you started to develop.
And people would be looking at you incorrectly, touching you incorrectly.
And there was a potential that you were going to suffer with, they had suffered.
And so it was a time when the women got really closed and angry.
And unfortunately didn't take it.
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It just never transitioned that to protection.
It was rejection instead because of not healing that pain.
And I think that's what we tend to do.
If we don't heal or at least open the door to healing and understand that we need protection
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first, we need our protection from what we went through.
Meaning we need our loving parent within ourselves that we didn't get to care for us first.
Then we can care for those around us.
We send that frequency out.
We send that energy out that makes other women recognize, oh my gosh, this person has tapped
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into something I'm still afraid to tap into.
It can be done.
You can do this.
I knew at that age.
You could.
Go ahead.
I'm just so interested to know that if you could parent yourself in that coming of age
moment, what would you have loved during that time?
What would have been like a place for you to meet womanhood if you were parenting yourself?
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Well, you know, it's interesting you asked that because I went through every year of my life
in an exercise in 2020, 2021, end of 2020 and 2021.
I spent a lot of time by myself and I had done this in my younger years as well, but not
to this degree because I wasn't ready to really go here.
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And I went from within the womb and I was the mother to that child, birthing that child
and holding that child because my mother didn't, she didn't hold me when I was born.
I was born early and I was breached and she didn't want to have a child.
So I went through the process of looking at that child.
And when I got to 13 years old and saw myself in this exercise, you see yourself standing
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opposite you.
You see yourself in that place and look at yourself and say, what is it that you're so
hurt about?
What is it that you need from me and let that part of you speak and you move your body
to that side?
So you're standing like this.
What do you need from me?
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What could I give you?
Tell me what to do.
And then you come back over and you stand as that age and you speak from that voice.
So when you physically embody that and do that work, you will be surprised to find out
what that part of you needed.
I didn't know, and it's, I mean, I didn't know at that moment how important it was for
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that 11 year old little girl who started her cycle and needed me to tell her what it
meant.
It needed me to talk to her and share with her what it meant that it wasn't that she was
now not free, but it was now she had a responsibility.
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She had something that was beautiful, that was hers.
She had something that connected her to all women in the world that she was never alone
again in the way that she thought she was.
In that moment, she felt alone.
I felt alone in that moment.
I felt so alone.
My mom, so this is funny.
My mom, if she hears a show off because she remembered, I told her I started my period.
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My mom took a little thing, a box of tampons.
This is straight guys.
That's what we, somebody used, she opened her door and she threw it into the bathroom and
she said, read the directions.
And that was how, that was my experience of starting my cycle.
So it was not about any kind of conversation about creation, about how to honor this, this
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part of our evolution as a woman and how powerful it is.
And I'm certain that my desire for that, that was in that, the words of that little girl,
that 13-year-old, I know that it was her that drew me to a relationship I was in in my
early 20s with a traditional Native American man.
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I have beautiful, bonus Native American children because the Native American women, this is how
they treat their girls.
This is how they treat the feminine.
When you begin your cycle, you are surrounded by the women.
You are brought into that space of creation.
You are brought into the knowing of what you're now connected to and there's a responsibility
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there.
There's an honoring of that flow that comes through you, that letting of each month that you
let go of goes back into the earth that it's a reciprocation and it's a gift that you're
given.
And when you become with child, it's something that the earth that connects you to the earth,
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this organism of the earth in a way that is so much richer and deeper.
We've lost touch with that and all, all people, all of us were indigenous at one point and
all of us knew how connected we were at one point in our existence.
And through modernization, we disconnected and something in me knew I needed to reconnect
with that and so on my early 20s when I met this man and met, met a woman speaks a Native
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American woman and started to really study and dive into what I didn't know that I was
already connected to as a child because where we lived in Santa Barbara was on too much
native lands in painting cave.
So I would spend my days out in these ancient camps where the Tumash lived, you know, hundreds
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of years prior and not even hundreds of years, you know, hundreds of years for hundreds of
years, but they used to a hundred years ago live at this beautiful place called Flat Rock
that I went and hid to as a little tiny girl and I pretended that I was an Indian, a Tumash
that I was a Native American, I slept in a cave that's now barred up and I felt connected.
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So there's that frequency that lives within that truth that we all are a part of and those
moments where I connected to were the transition moments.
So it's allowing ourselves to connect.
That is I think the deepest gift, the most valuable gift we can give ourselves to transform,
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to move through pain and suffering into and out of surviving to thriving is allowing
yourself the opportunity of opening to something different than you know, no matter how terrifying
it might seem because at first there's nothing.
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And that nothing feels like you want to grasp onto something but that nothing is everything.
It's where everything comes from.
It's getting past that moment of intellectual fear which is, you know, it is a mind thing.
I don't think, you know, children don't get mad, don't become afraid of falling down and
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to the point where they don't get back up and want to walk.
That's an intellectual fate, right?
That's something we do as an adult.
We fail and we think, all right, well that was my only chance.
I failed.
I can't do that again.
Where did that come from?
It's not any, it's not even a remote thought as a child, right?
It's not even something we consider.
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But what do we learn in school?
We learn failure means absolute failure.
Like you fail it's something.
It means you are a failure.
That's where that fear grows and you don't want to be that failure.
So you avoid things that you can fail at.
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You might fail it and don't do them at all.
Unless you shift it inside your mind and say, this isn't a failure.
This, that's the conditioning that my friend Michelle talks about because, I mean school, school
was so challenging for me.
It was so challenging for me.
Because I didn't understand how everybody could be taught in the same way.
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We were so different.
How could we all have a generalized education?
Why would we not be looked at for our uniqueness?
So in order to parent ourselves in a way that gives ourselves the true voice that we came
into this world to express that other people need so that we can all evolve together and
change this, you know, this experience in a way that's positive and life affirming, not
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discouraging, but empowering.
Is we first have to recognize that we have a voice that's unique to us and that generalizing
that and trying to make it fit into something that doesn't fit it is much like trying to squeeze
a size 9 and a size 7 shoe.
It's just it's a lot easier to take the pain in our head than it is to take the pain physically,
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but it's no different.
The harm is the same.
You cripple yourself if you do that with your feet.
You cripple, you cripple, end up crippling your mind.
But the great thing is, it's temporary.
It's temporary when it's in the mind.
It's something you can shift if you realize, come to the point of opening the door and just
allow for the possibility.
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Okay.
I have been conditioned.
I have been told a story, sold a story, enrolled in a story that is something I don't relate
to and that is the contention I feel.
It may not be that teacher.
It may not be my father.
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It may not be my mother.
It may not be my boss, but it's the contentionally I'm contending with something I'm selling
myself inside.
Oh, wow.
Wait a minute.
If it's an inside out thing, how do I go there?
All right.
That means I'm responsible.
That means I have some power in this game.
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That means I can do something about it.
I don't have to look out here and try and get their attention.
I don't have to wait for them to get it together.
I can do it from the inside out and I can watch everything around me start shifting as
a result of that.
And that's exactly my life.
I woke up to that and it was little tiny steps, little tiny steps in big moments of big transformative
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transformative moments.
Heather, to your question, 13.
Then again, that was like 11 to 13.
And by 14, I was not living in my house anymore.
I was at a school and by 15 and a half, I was gone.
I was already setting that.
I knew my parents were not going to walk this path.
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I was walking.
It wasn't my job to make them just like it's not our job right now that all of us, I'm sure
you have family members that are looking at you and like, I don't know what you're doing
on that podcast, but they have probably is not to convince them what we're doing.
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Our job is to speak the life into the world that we are and if they're meant to hear that
frequency, they will love them for who they are, where they are.
And oh my gosh, did it take me a long time to learn that.
I have to say, one of my greatest teachers, Lisa Nichols, comes to that, I mean, I adore
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that woman.
And this, her, gosh, this thing about her that is one of the most powerful gifts she has
to witness is how she brings her family with her, where they are if they want to be with
her.
She is not trying to change anyone.
She's not trying to teach anyone.
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She knows she's there for other people to hear her voice, to speak her truth and she has
to be authentic to that.
She has to serve that up and her family wants to come along, they'll come along, but wherever
they are is where they're meant to be and love them where they are.
And that opens the door that we're not meant to open for them, the door that they have to
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take the knob and open it.
It can't be because we're saying, come on, come on.
And I did that for the longest time.
I just, I did that for the longest time of the game.
And you got to get me, because they were suffering, not my job, not my job.
My job is this person right here because the ripple that I put in the water is the ripple
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I meant to start and it's the, it will reach out and it will touch the people that it's
meant to touch.
And if I'm trying to control, I'm diluting my frequency, diluting my energy, diluting
my impact.
I'm trying to make sure people come with me that I think need me.
The people that need me will come to me.
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They need me because they, as you said, so beautifully, Christopher, frequency, we just
know each other when we meet each other.
We just know each other.
It's beyond our names, beyond the horn.
We know each other.
I think that's a beautiful segue into a question we love to ask our guests and we're
so interested to hear your thoughts on what does feminine mean to you?
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Feminine means responsibility.
It is, feminine is the, the tree from which all life of fruit comes.
It's where it grows.
It's where it finds the nutrients to become the fruit that it's meant to be.
With all of its beautiful, unique traits.
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So if we're going to be that tree, we need to be conscious of what that self-loving, accountable
to our power as a feminine energy responsible for that energy, a divine creator of life in
harmony and in partnership with masculinity.
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If we don't recognize that, our children won't recognize that.
So feminine to me is connecting to the root of creation, the responsibility of the tree
of life and knowing that we are here to create the environment to nurture the environment that
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brings in another generation that has the consciousness to nurture their environment.
It's the very beginning of creating happiness, creating joy, abundance, peace.
It's something that allows for healing to occur.
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It allows for the birth of healing.
I think we're not, we're here to not suffer ever.
Life has suffering.
The very nature of our birth is suffering.
So there's something beautiful in that, but there has to be a balance of suffering and nurturing
and healing.
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And I think the feminine is uniquely empowered to do that because of what we are given with
the ability to give birth.
I think we have the power to change when we're in balance, to change the world, to change
humanity through the life that comes through us.
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And we can't do it alone.
We need each other to do it.
And we need the masculine partnership that is, it's just, there's an imbalance happening.
We need that partnership.
So feminine, if I were to put it in one word, is transformation.
It is transformation.
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And we can't grow, we can't go through our seasons naturally without transformation.
Everything goes through transformation each season.
It's part of the cycle of life.
So if we don't allow ourselves as a feminine to recognize our transformation, to go inside
and be with ourselves in most times in the seasons when we need to go in and heal and do those
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exercises.
I spoke to earlier that I did with those ages of myself to go in there and see where
they're, we might be stuck.
I think that is what the feminine brings to the world.
Is we give that space.
And I love the visual of a beautiful teepee and women sitting in the room together holding
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each other's space, supporting each other.
And I love the idea of welcoming a masculine, the masculine energy into that inside the circle.
And every, and both the masculine, the feminine, respecting each other and coming together
and supporting each other so that we can really heal, really heal the, and be accountable to
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the power that we are.
I think that's why we have child trafficking and these terrible crimes against humanity
is because of this, this void between that collaboration and support and consciousness
of what the masculine, the feminine have to give to one another and be as they are first
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in that power.
And then come to the understanding that we aren't, one is not more powerful than the other.
We have different strengths and gifts.
And if we are working together, then we can change this world together.
There's been this power play.
It's not about that kind of power.
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It's about using what you're born with.
It's about giving that grace.
And we're in a real time of confusion about who we are, what we are.
I truly believe that when we come into this world, whatever that sects be physiologically,
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that if we connect to what our strengths are there, that we're going to find peace there
and we're going to be able to empower the world from that place instead of trying to pull
ourselves from it.
We need men who connect to the feminine so deeply that they want to support women who have
been pulled away from their feminine.
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We need women who have connected, who have pulled far away from and feeling so afraid
of being vulnerable and have surrounded themselves with the masculine side of them to show women
how to let that go and connect into harmony.
We need to take those moments when we feel so, I can't be this.
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I can't be this so we can work together where we are and find out where we are and be in
that truth.
And I just, right now I feel like it's a time for the feminine to step forward and own what
we are and be in that place of clarity of what we are and for men also to be the same
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so that we can show anyone that's in a position of being in conflict.
There is a path to finding peace where you are without harming yourself, without harming
anyone else, without blaming anyone else, without denying.
And I know I'm saying this around, you know, I'm kind of skirting around the identity crisis
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that we've seen in our world where it's not peaceful for a lot of people.
If you feel different than where you are, there has to be peace with it, there has to be
joy with it.
So find that, find that without hurting someone else or yourself.
And I think that's what feminine teaches is that you have to be conscious about what
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it all is before you, maybe before we decide that it's something we don't want.
As I mentioned that word, the concept of that word, the philosophy behind that word, all
those things that are involved with that one word is what brought Heather and I together
in the first place and exploring a lot of what you've just shared with us and transitioning
(35:38):
as you've used that word from where we are now in this very, very male-centric world into
one that is definitely more balanced in both these aspects of who we each are.
We definitely hear you loud and clear on that.
Does your book get into that process at all?
(36:01):
And tell us a little bit about your work, your writing.
My book doesn't go into identity, any kind of, I've always been identified as a woman.
I don't go into any conflict there, but I definitely was a tomboy in my era when you were a girl
(36:25):
that was strong.
You were strong, you were considered a tomboy, but I never felt like I was not a girl, a woman
and didn't feel those vulnerabilities.
So I don't go into it in the language that we have all come to know in recent years.
(36:48):
And I don't know how I would have moved through the world had I been in a point of rejecting
the nature of my whole physical being while I was in that trauma because I feel such compassion
for people who have lived through trauma and now are feeling attaching the trauma to the
(37:15):
very being that they are biologically and finding that conflict.
And I am writing another book, but I'm not, it's not ready, it's not finished, but I am writing
a book and that will be in it because this will be a chapter because it really would have
taken me out of being able to be at peace with who I was and am and how I came into this world
(37:46):
and not create a huge attachment to something outside of myself that I wasn't that would have
been a huge distraction for me as a, as somebody who wanted to heal and move beyond what was
already creating contraction.
My family was contraction.
(38:06):
If I went into self rejection in any way, whether it be physically, whether it be behaviorally,
I would have been in further contraction, not in expansion.
And accepting who I was is part of what made, gave me the path to heal is that I didn't
accept that all of the words my parents called me, the names that called me, the ways they
(38:29):
labeled me.
You know, hyperactivity disorder, you talk too much, you think too much, you, all the things
that I did too much, you're not smart enough, you're not, all these things, these labels,
I didn't allow myself to accept those things or attach to them, really root into them.
And now there's so much focus on rooting into something that's from the outside in and
(38:55):
not the inside out. And I really would love to see that change because if we are feeling
that we're not connected to ourselves, the very nature of our being, what we are, and
we can't find peace and appreciation for what we have been born as before we choose
(39:15):
to reject it and attach to something that it isn't, then there is a void.
Because it's like if you look at a path, there's one side of a rushing river and the other side,
how are you going to build that bridge when there's no, there's not a love and acceptance
(39:37):
for what you are first and a diving in deep to what that is.
Because you might fall in love with yourself, you might fall in love with the gift that you
are.
And when you fall in love with the gift that you are, then you can give that love to someone
else. But if you don't have that love for yourself, you don't have that appreciation, how are
you going to give that to somebody else? How are you going to go out in the world and not
(40:00):
go out in the world?
I do feel like there's so many people in this world that feel that they weren't born
into the body that they know that they are on the inside. So their physical body doesn't
match how they feel and know their essence is on the inside. And I agree that trauma, if
(40:21):
attached to your body, it would make it so hard to be able to heal when you're healing
on multiple levels. But I do feel that in the people I know who are trans and knowing
their story, that it isn't always that there's trauma. Like sometimes it's that they're trans
(40:41):
and there actually isn't trauma. They feel that they know who they are and they are not
the body they were born into. And I've seen so many people try to not honor that and they
are filled with despair and to see them step into the biology or the gender expression
(41:03):
that they are, that is what releases joy and love and connection with others because
they are authentically themselves. So I think it's a challenging conversation because there's
multiple ways that a person becomes knowing of how they feel on the inside. And I think
(41:27):
that that's, you know, what is so beautiful about your book is that call home to yourself
and people find that in so many different ways. Absolutely. I agree with you 100%. So my
closest friends are do not identify with the physical being that they were born into throughout
(41:47):
my life. I've had some of my closest friends. So I understand that conflict. One of the
things that one of my dear friends who's no longer here, D said to me, said, "I wouldn't
wish this on anyone." And the reason I wouldn't wish it on anyone is because to wake up in the
morning and not feel connected to the way you look but to feel something different on the
(42:12):
inside is a conflict that I would not want anyone to go through. And I, and we should
talk about this deeply. And I said, "So if you're not feeling that, how do you connect yourself?
How did he connect himself?" Well, first he was a baby boomer generation. So he didn't have
(42:34):
the compassion that our generation has. He did not come through this conversation as open
as it is. And so his statement, that statement was heart wrenching for me to hear because
he felt like it was a torture. But he also didn't have the information that so many people like
(42:57):
you're speaking to, the trans community has a message that is, "We are who we are. See
us for how we express ourselves and let us show you who we feel we are." That I think
(43:18):
is an honest expression of how we are. That's an energy. That's part of what we are. And
at the same time, if you're a man physically, biologically, there has to be, and you feel
like a woman, and you want to express yourself as a woman, there has to be an honoring of those
(43:38):
two like in nature. You don't find the animals that can change their sex and there are several.
In disharmony with themselves, they change it as a result of needing to so that they can
bring life. So for me, I find that when there's, when that is a beautiful expression, it's
(44:03):
when you meet and see a person that understands, "I'm a man physically, but I feel everything
that is a woman inside myself, and I am in harmony with both. I don't deny one above the
other. This is how I feel in my life, in my emotion, but in my physical, I am a man, and
(44:26):
I honor everything that is that male gift that I am. It's when there is a complete denial
of one or the other and then a harm that creates a suffering. And that's what a surviving,
that's where I feel that in the feminine, we can teach how not to deny what we are. And
(44:48):
I'm not saying that people are, I'm not saying that if you're trans, you're denying what you
are. Please don't miss hearing. That's not what I'm saying. And I'm not saying that if you're
a homosexual, that you're denying with the other. This is, this is a tender conversation,
but it's a conversation that needs to not be so tender because it's real and it's part
of our expression. And it has been a part of the animal kingdom for aions. It is not something
(45:13):
that is so wrong that we shouldn't be able to say, okay, this is part of life. This is
how some people are born. But can we be in harmony with it? Can we really be in joy and tenderness
about it? And when we see somebody come into our community that may not feel like when
somebody loses connection with the peace and needs to be in conflict as a feminine, as the
(45:42):
feminine, which I think is part of our gift, is we are intended to nurture. We are intended
to open that space. That conversation has to come from people who connect to feminine.
Not only feminine, obviously masculine as well, but there has been a conditioning in the
masculine paradigm that it has to be a specific way. You know that. You're a man. Christopher,
(46:05):
you know, you know, wouldn't you agree that there is a rejection of what isn't male in more
in the masculine than in the feminine? I think our problem is we have been, as you say,
conditioned to think only in binary terms that we can only accept one of the opposites that
we do not give room, space or any kind of latitude to what's in the middle of these two poles.
(46:33):
And I think that's where we, that's where an individual feels they have to make a choice.
So they have to deny one in order to accept one. They can't be gray. They have to be black
or white. You cannot be gray. And that is just the condition of the world we've created
(46:54):
and the way that we have conditioned to think and to believe that that is all that exists.
I think it's a fundamental issue that we've made political.
Yeah, exactly. And please, the political hijacking of every human conversation has been one of the
(47:20):
most destructive elements of our evolution, I think, because if the family and humanity
outside of the political environment gave ourselves the space to have these conversations
that are uncomfortable about all these topics that sense the pandemic, we've all been challenged
(47:44):
to be able to bring them up. And I don't ever know what's going to come up when I'm on a podcast.
I never know what is going to be part of the conversation unless I'm asked a question.
And I don't cultivate my words in that way. I speak to what comes up in the moment and I have had
(48:05):
such a life where my exposure to so many thoughts, mindsets and experiences and my desire to be
compassionate and to understand and to create space for people to actually be happy.
That's what peace comes from and why can't we find peace? And so in that, and that's what my,
(48:34):
what I, my goal in this conversation to talk about something that so many people have are afraid to
talk about because I have my conditioning in this. I grew up in the 60s and 70s. My family wasn't like,
you know, they weren't talking about, you know, non-binary. They weren't talking about, you know,
any kind of, there was nobody in my family that was outwardly gay, but there were people in my
(48:59):
family that were gay, but they weren't outwardly gay because they didn't feel like they had a right
to be gay. My closest friends from the time when I moved to Italy at 18 years old, my, he was like a
brother to me. It was like I've met my, my brother from another mother that we passed through space
and saw each other and we met there and he was this beautiful gay man. And I had never been
(49:25):
in friendship that deeply with a gay man I've been before and it was like a, it was like an evolution
to my understanding of what human beings are. It was like, wow, he was so, oh god, you die way too
young and he was just so full of life, joy, and happiness and so much like me, you know? And he was
(49:51):
just, we were just like, it was just like me. He was a live innocent person who was in the world
expressing and I thought, how can this be suppressed? How can we not find space for this? And then I started
studying in nature and I started finding the animals that could literally change their sex, like I
said earlier, I was like, why are we so surprised that there are, that we feel this in our nature?
(50:17):
Yeah, I would like to not see people hurt themselves and go through regret when they're so young,
I would like us to nurture our people that feel that maybe the unique, the unicorns in our society,
like something I learned in our, in our communities, like I learned in the Native American culture.
When there was a person who was contrary is what the natives called gay, a person who was gay,
(50:47):
they were contrary, they knew what others didn't and they often became medicine men, medicine women
because they didn't force them to be in relationship with anyone, they didn't want to be in
relationship and they recognized that there was something connecting them to a part of nature
that not everybody else understood. And that was something that was so beautiful to honor it in that way.
(51:13):
And that brings us right back to the feminine, it was the women that made this discernment,
it was the women that protected these individuals because they were their children and they knew
when something was different. So they nurtured and protected and that's where I think the power of us
in the feminine, that's why I think we have to bring the feminine balance into this masculine
(51:38):
paradigm so that we can create a space where if somebody feels like they don't fit into that binary,
as you said, Christopher, that they know they're safe and they don't have to choose one or the other.
They can be that understanding of how both can be in harmony. To me, that's like, oh my gosh,
(52:04):
please teach us how to be in harmony with both. Please teach us how to be in harmony with both,
you feel both. That to me is such magic. You know, they help us because we run so far away from
understanding what that harmony looks like. You're here feeling both. You're physically feeling one
(52:26):
and internally feeling another. How can we bring this harmony? How can we stop one from abusing the
other with the child trafficking and how that whole thing comes around? Women, the feminine is the most
harmed in that world in child trafficking. The feminine is the most harmed, the most tortured,
the most damaged by masculine energy. If you come in the world and you know how to love that
(52:52):
feminine inside of you with the masculine that might be outside of you or the inverse, what can you
teach us? Why can't you teach us? That's what I want as well because I think I feel like it's a gift.
Yeah, no, you definitely resonate the thing that Heather and I feel the most is in that giving grace
(53:16):
to the human being, not whatever gender or sex you happen to be, just giving grace to humanity and
human beings. Yeah, because at one point we were both. Yeah, I mean, that is, you know, we go back to
something that's very, you know, ancient in its wisdom, but the yin and yang that there is that
(53:38):
masculine and feminine within each one of us. And I think this world, it pushes our understanding of
what once was very rigid. And I love that, you know, you talk so eloquently about indigenous
teachings because they had that deep knowing that really is within all of us still, if we look for it,
(54:01):
that helps us to understand what the newer world is trying to teach us, which is that these people
have always existed and will always exist. And that there's something special to what they call on us
to understand so that we have a deeper understanding of that feminine and masculine in each of us. So,
(54:25):
I love conversations like this because I appreciate how people wrestle with challenging changes
that sometimes make a lot of different people uncomfortable for different reasons. But, you know,
Christopher and I are our big believers that open dialogue is the only way that we get to know
(54:46):
ourselves better and get to know other people's viewpoints better. So, I appreciate, you know,
what you've shared and how you understand and how you choose to grow and how you also choose to
connect to ancient wisdom. Like you, you bridge those two sentences of knowing in such a great way.
(55:07):
You know, and thank you for saying that. I mean, I wrestle with my conditioning. I wrestle with,
you know, on a daily basis, I see men who are suppressing their vulnerability because they think it's
which is essentially the feminine in them because I think it's weak. And I see women putting a
(55:29):
front of being strong, acting like they're strong when they're not because they think that makes them
you know stronger. And it's like this confusion, this thing that the vulnerability is a weakness
when it is a powerful thing and to be able to have the courage to step out and say, I am both.
(55:50):
And if you and if you are both on 11, I'm both now. I'm both, I'm, you know, I'm just more feminine
than masculine in my chromosomes. So, I'm a woman and intellectually and in my mind and my attraction,
I am, I'm she, her. I am attracted to men. But that does not mean I am not both.
(56:13):
And that and somebody who comes out and feels really different than the way they look and they are
both or they feel equal, there's so much we can learn from our differences in that way. And I wrestle
with the discomfort of being trained not to have this conversation because we've been trained
through religious dogma, we've been trained through, you know, societal traditions, we've been trained
(56:37):
in so many ways not to move toward in the same way at the beginning of this conversation when we
talked about going into the unknown, we have been trained not to go into the places that make us
uncomfortable, but in the places that make us uncomfortable lies our freedom. And that's just the
way it is. It lies our evolution, lies our freedom, lies our healing. It is where it all begins, it's where
(57:02):
that fertile soil is waiting for us to dig our roots in and grow forward from there. When somebody
brings something that's uncomfortable into our sphere, it isn't a moment to turn our backs. It's a moment
to say how do I talk about this? Like today in this moment, which is telling Christopher was,
this is uncomfortable for me. I never know what I'm going to talk about. This moment talking about
(57:27):
this is not the most comfortable, but I have to talk about something when it comes up like this because
there's too many people not allowing for it just to be a conversation, even me at times. I don't always
express myself as openly as I am right now because sometimes I'm with family and I feel that
(57:47):
pressure to conform, sometimes I'm with friends and I know I'm with a group that may not feel
and I feel the pressure. I'm not always, you know, I don't like to live on courage 11, but it's
hard listening and and I'm going to go, I'm going to turn up the volume because it's been my past
(58:08):
and I think it's your past too and I think that's that frequency we connect to that we're going to
open the audio conversation that somebody might hear this and they may think that they may hear
from their own listening, which is about your own pain and suffering, looking at me and
I'm a heterosexual woman and thinking that I'm judging you, whether you hear me or not,
(58:30):
know this, I don't judge you, I love you, you're just like me and I'm just like you. There's not
a whole lot different between us because it boils down to we all need water, we all need air,
we all need love, we all need food and everybody poops. The truth and so on.
(58:52):
That's right. We're here on this bus together and we might as well be able to go sit next to one
another and find out who we are and deal with the discomfort of just not knowing, just not knowing.
I don't know what my next conversation like this is going to be. I don't know if somebody's going
to reach out to me and say you heard my feelings or do you really get me? I don't know, but whatever
(59:16):
that may be, it will be and by the grace I will be given the words to let that person know that we're
not that far apart. In the Lord Walker, this is in all this conversation, this is all the concept
that comes to me is that humanity evolves. We are in a, we are in at a point of evolution.
(59:38):
So these conversations that we're having now is we're trying to hang on to again, security,
what we know, but we cannot help but evolve. And this is an evolutionary point for humanity.
So that's what these conversations are about. We're acknowledging there is a evolution coming
(01:00:02):
in who we are as human beings and we're, a lot of us are resisting it. But it's inevitable.
Exactly. And we're being challenged and charged with with something that's that has value and it's
important. And it's yeah, we we cross that today together. And I just feel like you know I'm just
(01:00:24):
like, I'm having a chance for, you know, for being able to say. You just never know. Absolutely.
Absolutely. Yeah. No, it is. It's refreshing to go in there together. It is. It really is. And I
thank you for that. I thank you. I thank you for the passion that you spoke to Heather when you said,
(01:00:46):
what you said, I felt this, you know, I felt it coming from in here and I felt you, I need to say this,
I need to make sure, I need to make sure that the way that I believe what I believe in, my expansion
is not being pushed in and anyway, I need to put this out into the into the air into the energy.
And I just made me feel so good. So thank you because it was like, it was like, oh,
(01:01:11):
I'm pushing each other in a way. It's like when you lock arms, remember, you lock arms, you're like,
all right, I know this is really where are we going? But I got you. We're going to do this. Okay,
you got that step. All right. I got this step. And those are going to go. Where are we? Yes. We're going
to go together. Yes. Because we are going to be ever like it or not. We're going together.
(01:01:32):
And lucky me, I'm in the middle. Totally agree. Yes, you are.
It is such, it's one of those rare moments on the show where we really can reach through
(01:01:55):
the screen and just hug you to death, right? It just resonates so perfectly, so beautifully. And we
cannot thank you enough for being who you are and being as open and as vulnerable as you are
on this platform that you've never been on before. You don't know the two of us. But to be that
(01:02:16):
open, we are so grateful. We are so thankful because that's what people need to hear. And we appreciate
it so much. I do too. Thank you for the opportunity to grow. I've grown today. I've grown today because of
the space that you both have created and because you know, we trusted each other to be vulnerable together.
(01:02:40):
We didn't go into protection. We went into, we just kept moving forward and I'm just really grateful
whenever I feel growth and that somebody else opens up and supports me. It's beautiful. So thank you.
It reminds me of one of your shows you've been on Star Trek, Into the Unknown.
(01:03:01):
Yes, exactly. That was fun. We did it today. Yeah, Into the Unknown, it works.
I think we've created something, an opportunity for somebody else maybe to recognize they're not alone.
(01:03:24):
You're there. Heather and Christopher are both in this world with you. I am in this world with you.
None of us knows exactly what our next step is and what our next is exactly and that's part of the fun.
That's part of the, the, the, it could be, um, a trepidation, but like Lisa says often to her team,
(01:03:49):
she says, hold your fear in one hand and you're encouraging the other and jump because what it is
that you have to share cannot be held back by what you think you're afraid of because what you
think that you're afraid of isn't what you think it is. It's something that's already gone
(01:04:11):
that has been thrown out in front of you. It is already gone. You're already past it by the time
we know and are trying to define and say what it is. It's so far behind us. So we don't, we don't,
we don't know and being okay with what we don't know and for those, oh gosh, for those that
(01:04:32):
are tender in this conversation. Oh gosh, I just want to say you're so not alone. You have people here
in this world that are leaning into you and need to know that you are leaning into us to
because for me, I need to know that I'm trusted as much as I need to trust.
(01:04:55):
That helps me grow. So give me the opportunity to be trusted with your tender spots and your
moments of feeling alone. Give me that moment. Think of me there with you by yourself because you're not
and think of Christopher there and think of Heather there and think of the people that come into
(01:05:18):
this space. We're together in this and we're all learning like children innocently trying to discover
what the best thing is for not just ourselves but for all of us. That's what I'm not right now.
That's what we want for my day going forward and I'm grateful. Thank you.
Her name is Walker Kimberly Brandt and I want you to check out her book "A Waken Discovering
(01:05:44):
Yourself to the Light of Your Innocence." Please look for that because there's a lot to learn and gain
from her words as we've heard here today. So thank you so much and you have been listening to
the Virgin, the Beauty, and the Bitch!
(01:06:13):
To become a partner in the VBB community we invite you to find us at virginbeautybitch.com
like us on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn and share us with people who are defiantly different
(01:06:34):
like you. Until next time, thanks for listening.
Virgin.
(00:02):
Beauty.
Bitch.
Podcast.
Inspiring women to overcome social stereotypes and share unique life experiences without fear
of being defiantly different.
Your hosts.
Christopher and Heather.
Let's talk, shall we?
What does not kill you makes you stronger.
(00:25):
That is a cold, hard, brutal truth.
But what's the point of misery and suffering unless it transforms you into overcoming?
Or as lessons that can help others suffer less?
That noble goal happens to be the trajectory of our guest, actor, author, and coach Walker
(00:49):
Kimberly Brandt.
Welcome Walker to Virgin Beauty Bitch.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for the invitation.
I'm excited to be there.
We are excited to have you believe me.
Walker, your career as an actress is an achievement.
It includes film roles in Dante's Peak with Pierce Brosnan and Linda Hamilton, City
(01:09):
Slickers with Billy Crystal and on TV,
you've donned the Stark Trek uniform in the Next Generation with Patrick Stewart.
But you're also a model, a coach, and most recently a Number One International Best-Selling
Author.
Congratulations, and we'll get into that more as we move on here.
But life didn't bless you with a silver spoon in your mouth.
(01:33):
Instead, from what I've read, life gave you a serving of misery and suffering that almost
ended in suicide.
Absolutely.
And for the longest time in my life, you know, just to talk for a second.
You know when you hear somebody like 22 years old and they're like, for my whole life, and
(01:56):
you can't help it smile because you're like, oh, my dear, you have a ways to go.
I remember, and for the longest time, you know, up until my late 20s, early 30s, it was
really hard, even though I was creating success, to not allow, move beyond that pain in a way
(02:28):
that wasn't compartmentalizing it so that I could create success.
And in being in sort of that strange space in between, which is not the most peaceful
place inside, I was made aware this is not what I want.
(02:49):
With the same intensity that I was made aware as a young child out in nature that where
I was and the way that my family functioned was also not what I wanted and not going to
be my story.
Even though I didn't have the language, it wasn't going to be my story.
It was more of this is not what I am going to be and I am fighting against this and these
(03:16):
people are nuts and they don't tell me the truth.
You know, I remember so many times looking at my mom and saying, what's the matter?
Why are you angry?
Why are you so mad?
And she would say, I'm not mad.
And it was like, as you know, we are so rooted in, as you said earlier, frequency, energy,
(03:39):
we are so connected to the source around us, the creation that we just kind of flew through
into this beingness that we know when someone isn't flowing in their frequency, when they're
flowing in chaos and not the kind that makes magic like the universe, but the kind that
(04:01):
butts up against that beautiful flow of the natural chaos of life that understands
that it's part of the adventure of life.
It's where all life comes from this blast of what looks like chaos, but it's life.
We have the sensitivity as a child and for whatever reason, I felt it knew that when I
(04:22):
was around, was not the only thing because I felt at home in nature, which was a complete
unknown, a complete for all intents and purposes, chaos, because I couldn't define it.
I couldn't tell you why a blade of grass grew or why that salamander that I was so mesurized
(04:42):
by would connect with me and why a rattlesnake wouldn't bite me, why I could pick up a
chipmonk that was injured.
I couldn't explain that to you.
It just was the way it was.
It made sense and it was this natural harmony of energy.
That creature, those creatures, everything around me knew I wasn't there to harm it.
(05:05):
I knew I was part of it.
I knew it was part of me.
For some strange reason that maybe a psychologist might have the verbiage for it, but for me, it's
just a disassociation with the frequency and the harmony that you're meant to be that
happens in a dysfunctional family.
(05:28):
That's what it seemed to me.
As my parents weren't these monsters, it's their behavior that was the monster.
It was the disassociation with the frequency that they were, that was their origin that
was the enemy in my house.
Because they weren't willing to battle it like I was willing to, I couldn't be there.
(05:51):
I knew I had to leave.
I knew as a very little kid that the place that was going to feed me, that was going to
build strength around the frequency that I felt safe in, was out in nature and wasn't with
my family.
Being in the unknown wasn't something that, like most of all, like a lot of people, wasn't
(06:18):
something that made me afraid.
What I knew was much more terrifying.
Not for me opened a huge door that I didn't know until my later years was a door that a
lot of people didn't know they had in front of them to open.
That the unknown was something that we come into and are really comfortable with from
(06:43):
the beginning of our existence.
Not just this life, but I think our energy, the frequency that we are, the energy
that we are, is comfortable in that space because everything we become comes out of what we
don't know.
If we know everything, what are we doing?
(07:04):
We're just repeating, right?
That's fascinating in that.
I think that what happens to children, all of us, is that we get conditioned out of that
exact thing you're talking about, the unknown.
We get conditioned out of that of our curiosity, of our need to find things out that aren't
(07:28):
being told.
Exactly.
That never got conditioned fully into you because you left before the programming was complete.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And you know, a friend of mine, Michelle Colt, she's a beautiful soul and she's, people
call her the nervous system whisperer and what she calls that is con-ditioning.
(07:53):
And I love how she uses words like that because it's true.
We are conned to believe that the very thing that we come into this life with isn't wise
enough, doesn't know enough, doesn't have the intellect that we need.
(08:15):
And in truth, you can build up so much of your academic knowledge, your intellect and be
one of the most unhappiest people on the planet because it doesn't feed your soul, it feeds
the mind and the mind is only preoccupied for the most part with keeping you safe.
And for some reason, it thinks that safety is about information or what we know, which
(08:41):
is back here and literally gathering it and throwing up in front of us and it makes us feel like,
oh, we're safe.
No, we're not.
If we have no adventure, we end up feeling stuck, un-fulfilled, dispassionate about life.
And that's about letting everything be from here up and not from starting from here and
(09:01):
floating up and utilizing what we put inside this amazing computer of a brain, which I think
is a beautiful thing, but not meant to lead us around like a floating head with our heart
and our guts saying, hey, hang on a second, we're here.
It's like that old native saying, the man is the head and the woman is the neck.
(09:24):
How far can the head go without the neck?
You've got to know you're literally going nowhere.
You're walking one direction and you're eventually going to either go up go off a cliff
or run into something and trip and fall.
You need to have this balance, right, and the mask and the feminine, and that working
together to create this beautiful harmony because life is meant to be an adventure where
(09:47):
we work together, right, where we are not in denial of what we're experiencing, which
is what I experienced in my family, was everybody suppressing and in denial and thinking that
having the answers or saying, no, it isn't, is going to somehow, over time, make it disappear.
(10:08):
It doesn't work that way, as you both know.
Well, that's what I love so much about your story, Walker, is that you didn't just survive
a difficult childhood and personal trauma, but you faced it and you looked it in the eye
and you said, you don't get to define me anymore.
And made some very bold moves in order to get to a state where you wanted to understand an
(10:33):
awakening or what was really within.
Could you walk our listeners through that transition point of your journey?
Well, there's been several transition points, you know.
When I knew, as a three-year-old looking at my mom, this was a huge point where I recognized
(10:55):
that my mom and I had a lot not in common, even though she was my mother.
It was when I looked at her and I said, what I said earlier, why are you so mad?
And she said, I'm not.
And I said, I know you mad, mommy.
And she said, no, I'm not.
And I said, I know in here, I know I can feel you.
(11:20):
And in my mind, what I was trying to communicate was, before we started polluting the air with
all of our words, we felt each other and you're lying to me.
I know you're hurting and my mom wasn't being honest with me.
And she never really broke that wall between her and me.
(11:41):
So that was a point of transition where I realized I'm not going to get what I need from
this person.
She's not going to give me what I need.
So I moved out seeking it the only place I could, which was a nature.
So that was transition point one, the pull away at a really young age from what would normally
(12:03):
be the safety of my mother because she wasn't safe in her own skin.
She didn't feel safe.
She couldn't make me feel safe.
She knew one way, which was to suppress.
And it was either with alcohol or violence or sleep.
And that was just not what I knew because we wanted to be safe.
(12:23):
We wanted to be bonded, but it wasn't happening.
And I have lost my grandmother that same year.
She was, I think if you've read "Awaken, you know, my grandmother" was a victim of domestic
violence.
My grandfather beat her daily and eventually she died as a result of a beating.
(12:47):
And there was never any consequence for that in our family.
So the women carried the burden of that and the women drank to suppress.
And that was what was handed down.
It was also part of that generation being born in that masculine paradigm.
When women just did what the men told them to do.
(13:09):
And they were, you know, just in that second class sort of citizen, women didn't even get
to vote.
I don't know if that one got to vote and get to open a bank account without a husband co-signing
at the late '60s.
Just really bizarre behavior, you know.
And we don't know that as children.
Why are mothers and our aunties are so, you know, burdened and why they're drinking and
(13:30):
why they're, they look, you know, shell-shocked.
Well, it was, it was the suppression that had been handed down.
And there was something inside of me that said, "I'm not going to do this."
The next time was during my teen period, 13 years old, that was a pinnacle time, 11 to 13.
My body's changing.
I'm becoming a woman.
(13:51):
And this meant a lack of freedom in a way that I didn't connect with before.
I recognized some of what my family went through.
By the way, my mom treated that huge transition for women.
When we start our cycle, it's a coming of age.
And in my family, it was a burden.
It was a time to be afraid because you were a woman.
(14:12):
It was a time when you started to develop.
And people would be looking at you incorrectly, touching you incorrectly.
And there was a potential that you were going to suffer with, they had suffered.
And so it was a time when the women got really closed and angry.
And unfortunately didn't take it.
(14:33):
It just never transitioned that to protection.
It was rejection instead because of not healing that pain.
And I think that's what we tend to do.
If we don't heal or at least open the door to healing and understand that we need protection
(14:54):
first, we need our protection from what we went through.
Meaning we need our loving parent within ourselves that we didn't get to care for us first.
Then we can care for those around us.
We send that frequency out.
We send that energy out that makes other women recognize, oh my gosh, this person has tapped
(15:14):
into something I'm still afraid to tap into.
It can be done.
You can do this.
I knew at that age.
You could.
Go ahead.
I'm just so interested to know that if you could parent yourself in that coming of age
moment, what would you have loved during that time?
What would have been like a place for you to meet womanhood if you were parenting yourself?
(15:35):
Well, you know, it's interesting you asked that because I went through every year of my life
in an exercise in 2020, 2021, end of 2020 and 2021.
I spent a lot of time by myself and I had done this in my younger years as well, but not
to this degree because I wasn't ready to really go here.
(16:00):
And I went from within the womb and I was the mother to that child, birthing that child
and holding that child because my mother didn't, she didn't hold me when I was born.
I was born early and I was breached and she didn't want to have a child.
So I went through the process of looking at that child.
And when I got to 13 years old and saw myself in this exercise, you see yourself standing
(16:26):
opposite you.
You see yourself in that place and look at yourself and say, what is it that you're so
hurt about?
What is it that you need from me and let that part of you speak and you move your body
to that side?
So you're standing like this.
What do you need from me?
(16:48):
What could I give you?
Tell me what to do.
And then you come back over and you stand as that age and you speak from that voice.
So when you physically embody that and do that work, you will be surprised to find out
what that part of you needed.
I didn't know, and it's, I mean, I didn't know at that moment how important it was for
(17:12):
that 11 year old little girl who started her cycle and needed me to tell her what it
meant.
It needed me to talk to her and share with her what it meant that it wasn't that she was
now not free, but it was now she had a responsibility.
(17:37):
She had something that was beautiful, that was hers.
She had something that connected her to all women in the world that she was never alone
again in the way that she thought she was.
In that moment, she felt alone.
I felt alone in that moment.
I felt so alone.
My mom, so this is funny.
My mom, if she hears a show off because she remembered, I told her I started my period.
(18:02):
My mom took a little thing, a box of tampons.
This is straight guys.
That's what we, somebody used, she opened her door and she threw it into the bathroom and
she said, read the directions.
And that was how, that was my experience of starting my cycle.
So it was not about any kind of conversation about creation, about how to honor this, this
(18:29):
part of our evolution as a woman and how powerful it is.
And I'm certain that my desire for that, that was in that, the words of that little girl,
that 13-year-old, I know that it was her that drew me to a relationship I was in in my
early 20s with a traditional Native American man.
(18:52):
I have beautiful, bonus Native American children because the Native American women, this is how
they treat their girls.
This is how they treat the feminine.
When you begin your cycle, you are surrounded by the women.
You are brought into that space of creation.
You are brought into the knowing of what you're now connected to and there's a responsibility
(19:14):
there.
There's an honoring of that flow that comes through you, that letting of each month that you
let go of goes back into the earth that it's a reciprocation and it's a gift that you're
given.
And when you become with child, it's something that the earth that connects you to the earth,
(19:34):
this organism of the earth in a way that is so much richer and deeper.
We've lost touch with that and all, all people, all of us were indigenous at one point and
all of us knew how connected we were at one point in our existence.
And through modernization, we disconnected and something in me knew I needed to reconnect
with that and so on my early 20s when I met this man and met, met a woman speaks a Native
(20:00):
American woman and started to really study and dive into what I didn't know that I was
already connected to as a child because where we lived in Santa Barbara was on too much
native lands in painting cave.
So I would spend my days out in these ancient camps where the Tumash lived, you know, hundreds
(20:21):
of years prior and not even hundreds of years, you know, hundreds of years for hundreds of
years, but they used to a hundred years ago live at this beautiful place called Flat Rock
that I went and hid to as a little tiny girl and I pretended that I was an Indian, a Tumash
that I was a Native American, I slept in a cave that's now barred up and I felt connected.
(20:44):
So there's that frequency that lives within that truth that we all are a part of and those
moments where I connected to were the transition moments.
So it's allowing ourselves to connect.
That is I think the deepest gift, the most valuable gift we can give ourselves to transform,
(21:09):
to move through pain and suffering into and out of surviving to thriving is allowing
yourself the opportunity of opening to something different than you know, no matter how terrifying
it might seem because at first there's nothing.
(21:30):
And that nothing feels like you want to grasp onto something but that nothing is everything.
It's where everything comes from.
It's getting past that moment of intellectual fear which is, you know, it is a mind thing.
I don't think, you know, children don't get mad, don't become afraid of falling down and
(21:55):
to the point where they don't get back up and want to walk.
That's an intellectual fate, right?
That's something we do as an adult.
We fail and we think, all right, well that was my only chance.
I failed.
I can't do that again.
Where did that come from?
It's not any, it's not even a remote thought as a child, right?
It's not even something we consider.
(22:16):
But what do we learn in school?
We learn failure means absolute failure.
Like you fail it's something.
It means you are a failure.
That's where that fear grows and you don't want to be that failure.
So you avoid things that you can fail at.
(22:37):
You might fail it and don't do them at all.
Unless you shift it inside your mind and say, this isn't a failure.
This, that's the conditioning that my friend Michelle talks about because, I mean school, school
was so challenging for me.
It was so challenging for me.
Because I didn't understand how everybody could be taught in the same way.
(23:02):
We were so different.
How could we all have a generalized education?
Why would we not be looked at for our uniqueness?
So in order to parent ourselves in a way that gives ourselves the true voice that we came
into this world to express that other people need so that we can all evolve together and
change this, you know, this experience in a way that's positive and life affirming, not
(23:27):
discouraging, but empowering.
Is we first have to recognize that we have a voice that's unique to us and that generalizing
that and trying to make it fit into something that doesn't fit it is much like trying to squeeze
a size 9 and a size 7 shoe.
It's just it's a lot easier to take the pain in our head than it is to take the pain physically,
(23:53):
but it's no different.
The harm is the same.
You cripple yourself if you do that with your feet.
You cripple, you cripple, end up crippling your mind.
But the great thing is, it's temporary.
It's temporary when it's in the mind.
It's something you can shift if you realize, come to the point of opening the door and just
allow for the possibility.
(24:14):
Okay.
I have been conditioned.
I have been told a story, sold a story, enrolled in a story that is something I don't relate
to and that is the contention I feel.
It may not be that teacher.
It may not be my father.
(24:36):
It may not be my mother.
It may not be my boss, but it's the contentionally I'm contending with something I'm selling
myself inside.
Oh, wow.
Wait a minute.
If it's an inside out thing, how do I go there?
All right.
That means I'm responsible.
That means I have some power in this game.
(24:59):
That means I can do something about it.
I don't have to look out here and try and get their attention.
I don't have to wait for them to get it together.
I can do it from the inside out and I can watch everything around me start shifting as
a result of that.
And that's exactly my life.
I woke up to that and it was little tiny steps, little tiny steps in big moments of big transformative
(25:25):
transformative moments.
Heather, to your question, 13.
Then again, that was like 11 to 13.
And by 14, I was not living in my house anymore.
I was at a school and by 15 and a half, I was gone.
I was already setting that.
I knew my parents were not going to walk this path.
(25:46):
I was walking.
It wasn't my job to make them just like it's not our job right now that all of us, I'm sure
you have family members that are looking at you and like, I don't know what you're doing
on that podcast, but they have probably is not to convince them what we're doing.
(26:06):
Our job is to speak the life into the world that we are and if they're meant to hear that
frequency, they will love them for who they are, where they are.
And oh my gosh, did it take me a long time to learn that.
I have to say, one of my greatest teachers, Lisa Nichols, comes to that, I mean, I adore
(26:27):
that woman.
And this, her, gosh, this thing about her that is one of the most powerful gifts she has
to witness is how she brings her family with her, where they are if they want to be with
her.
She is not trying to change anyone.
She's not trying to teach anyone.
(26:48):
She knows she's there for other people to hear her voice, to speak her truth and she has
to be authentic to that.
She has to serve that up and her family wants to come along, they'll come along, but wherever
they are is where they're meant to be and love them where they are.
And that opens the door that we're not meant to open for them, the door that they have to
(27:10):
take the knob and open it.
It can't be because we're saying, come on, come on.
And I did that for the longest time.
I just, I did that for the longest time of the game.
And you got to get me, because they were suffering, not my job, not my job.
My job is this person right here because the ripple that I put in the water is the ripple
(27:35):
I meant to start and it's the, it will reach out and it will touch the people that it's
meant to touch.
And if I'm trying to control, I'm diluting my frequency, diluting my energy, diluting
my impact.
I'm trying to make sure people come with me that I think need me.
The people that need me will come to me.
(27:56):
They need me because they, as you said, so beautifully, Christopher, frequency, we just
know each other when we meet each other.
We just know each other.
It's beyond our names, beyond the horn.
We know each other.
I think that's a beautiful segue into a question we love to ask our guests and we're
so interested to hear your thoughts on what does feminine mean to you?
(28:23):
Feminine means responsibility.
It is, feminine is the, the tree from which all life of fruit comes.
It's where it grows.
It's where it finds the nutrients to become the fruit that it's meant to be.
With all of its beautiful, unique traits.
(28:45):
So if we're going to be that tree, we need to be conscious of what that self-loving, accountable
to our power as a feminine energy responsible for that energy, a divine creator of life in
harmony and in partnership with masculinity.
(29:08):
If we don't recognize that, our children won't recognize that.
So feminine to me is connecting to the root of creation, the responsibility of the tree
of life and knowing that we are here to create the environment to nurture the environment that
(29:31):
brings in another generation that has the consciousness to nurture their environment.
It's the very beginning of creating happiness, creating joy, abundance, peace.
It's something that allows for healing to occur.
(29:55):
It allows for the birth of healing.
I think we're not, we're here to not suffer ever.
Life has suffering.
The very nature of our birth is suffering.
So there's something beautiful in that, but there has to be a balance of suffering and nurturing
and healing.
(30:16):
And I think the feminine is uniquely empowered to do that because of what we are given with
the ability to give birth.
I think we have the power to change when we're in balance, to change the world, to change
humanity through the life that comes through us.
(30:36):
And we can't do it alone.
We need each other to do it.
And we need the masculine partnership that is, it's just, there's an imbalance happening.
We need that partnership.
So feminine, if I were to put it in one word, is transformation.
It is transformation.
(30:57):
And we can't grow, we can't go through our seasons naturally without transformation.
Everything goes through transformation each season.
It's part of the cycle of life.
So if we don't allow ourselves as a feminine to recognize our transformation, to go inside
and be with ourselves in most times in the seasons when we need to go in and heal and do those
(31:24):
exercises.
I spoke to earlier that I did with those ages of myself to go in there and see where
they're, we might be stuck.
I think that is what the feminine brings to the world.
Is we give that space.
And I love the visual of a beautiful teepee and women sitting in the room together holding
(31:49):
each other's space, supporting each other.
And I love the idea of welcoming a masculine, the masculine energy into that inside the circle.
And every, and both the masculine, the feminine, respecting each other and coming together
and supporting each other so that we can really heal, really heal the, and be accountable to
(32:11):
the power that we are.
I think that's why we have child trafficking and these terrible crimes against humanity
is because of this, this void between that collaboration and support and consciousness
of what the masculine, the feminine have to give to one another and be as they are first
(32:38):
in that power.
And then come to the understanding that we aren't, one is not more powerful than the other.
We have different strengths and gifts.
And if we are working together, then we can change this world together.
There's been this power play.
It's not about that kind of power.
(32:59):
It's about using what you're born with.
It's about giving that grace.
And we're in a real time of confusion about who we are, what we are.
I truly believe that when we come into this world, whatever that sects be physiologically,
(33:22):
that if we connect to what our strengths are there, that we're going to find peace there
and we're going to be able to empower the world from that place instead of trying to pull
ourselves from it.
We need men who connect to the feminine so deeply that they want to support women who have
been pulled away from their feminine.
(33:43):
We need women who have connected, who have pulled far away from and feeling so afraid
of being vulnerable and have surrounded themselves with the masculine side of them to show women
how to let that go and connect into harmony.
We need to take those moments when we feel so, I can't be this.
(34:05):
I can't be this so we can work together where we are and find out where we are and be in
that truth.
And I just, right now I feel like it's a time for the feminine to step forward and own what
we are and be in that place of clarity of what we are and for men also to be the same
(34:26):
so that we can show anyone that's in a position of being in conflict.
There is a path to finding peace where you are without harming yourself, without harming
anyone else, without blaming anyone else, without denying.
And I know I'm saying this around, you know, I'm kind of skirting around the identity crisis
(34:48):
that we've seen in our world where it's not peaceful for a lot of people.
If you feel different than where you are, there has to be peace with it, there has to be
joy with it.
So find that, find that without hurting someone else or yourself.
And I think that's what feminine teaches is that you have to be conscious about what
(35:13):
it all is before you, maybe before we decide that it's something we don't want.
As I mentioned that word, the concept of that word, the philosophy behind that word, all
those things that are involved with that one word is what brought Heather and I together
in the first place and exploring a lot of what you've just shared with us and transitioning
(35:38):
as you've used that word from where we are now in this very, very male-centric world into
one that is definitely more balanced in both these aspects of who we each are.
We definitely hear you loud and clear on that.
Does your book get into that process at all?
(36:01):
And tell us a little bit about your work, your writing.
My book doesn't go into identity, any kind of, I've always been identified as a woman.
I don't go into any conflict there, but I definitely was a tomboy in my era when you were a girl
(36:25):
that was strong.
You were strong, you were considered a tomboy, but I never felt like I was not a girl, a woman
and didn't feel those vulnerabilities.
So I don't go into it in the language that we have all come to know in recent years.
(36:48):
And I don't know how I would have moved through the world had I been in a point of rejecting
the nature of my whole physical being while I was in that trauma because I feel such compassion
for people who have lived through trauma and now are feeling attaching the trauma to the
(37:15):
very being that they are biologically and finding that conflict.
And I am writing another book, but I'm not, it's not ready, it's not finished, but I am writing
a book and that will be in it because this will be a chapter because it really would have
taken me out of being able to be at peace with who I was and am and how I came into this world
(37:46):
and not create a huge attachment to something outside of myself that I wasn't that would have
been a huge distraction for me as a, as somebody who wanted to heal and move beyond what was
already creating contraction.
My family was contraction.
(38:06):
If I went into self rejection in any way, whether it be physically, whether it be behaviorally,
I would have been in further contraction, not in expansion.
And accepting who I was is part of what made, gave me the path to heal is that I didn't
accept that all of the words my parents called me, the names that called me, the ways they
(38:29):
labeled me.
You know, hyperactivity disorder, you talk too much, you think too much, you, all the things
that I did too much, you're not smart enough, you're not, all these things, these labels,
I didn't allow myself to accept those things or attach to them, really root into them.
And now there's so much focus on rooting into something that's from the outside in and
(38:55):
not the inside out. And I really would love to see that change because if we are feeling
that we're not connected to ourselves, the very nature of our being, what we are, and
we can't find peace and appreciation for what we have been born as before we choose
(39:15):
to reject it and attach to something that it isn't, then there is a void.
Because it's like if you look at a path, there's one side of a rushing river and the other side,
how are you going to build that bridge when there's no, there's not a love and acceptance
(39:37):
for what you are first and a diving in deep to what that is.
Because you might fall in love with yourself, you might fall in love with the gift that you
are.
And when you fall in love with the gift that you are, then you can give that love to someone
else. But if you don't have that love for yourself, you don't have that appreciation, how are
you going to give that to somebody else? How are you going to go out in the world and not
(40:00):
go out in the world?
I do feel like there's so many people in this world that feel that they weren't born
into the body that they know that they are on the inside. So their physical body doesn't
match how they feel and know their essence is on the inside. And I agree that trauma, if
(40:21):
attached to your body, it would make it so hard to be able to heal when you're healing
on multiple levels. But I do feel that in the people I know who are trans and knowing
their story, that it isn't always that there's trauma. Like sometimes it's that they're trans
(40:41):
and there actually isn't trauma. They feel that they know who they are and they are not
the body they were born into. And I've seen so many people try to not honor that and they
are filled with despair and to see them step into the biology or the gender expression
(41:03):
that they are, that is what releases joy and love and connection with others because
they are authentically themselves. So I think it's a challenging conversation because there's
multiple ways that a person becomes knowing of how they feel on the inside. And I think
(41:27):
that that's, you know, what is so beautiful about your book is that call home to yourself
and people find that in so many different ways. Absolutely. I agree with you 100%. So my
closest friends are do not identify with the physical being that they were born into throughout
(41:47):
my life. I've had some of my closest friends. So I understand that conflict. One of the
things that one of my dear friends who's no longer here, D said to me, said, "I wouldn't
wish this on anyone." And the reason I wouldn't wish it on anyone is because to wake up in the
morning and not feel connected to the way you look but to feel something different on the
(42:12):
inside is a conflict that I would not want anyone to go through. And I, and we should
talk about this deeply. And I said, "So if you're not feeling that, how do you connect yourself?
How did he connect himself?" Well, first he was a baby boomer generation. So he didn't have
(42:34):
the compassion that our generation has. He did not come through this conversation as open
as it is. And so his statement, that statement was heart wrenching for me to hear because
he felt like it was a torture. But he also didn't have the information that so many people like
(42:57):
you're speaking to, the trans community has a message that is, "We are who we are. See
us for how we express ourselves and let us show you who we feel we are." That I think
(43:18):
is an honest expression of how we are. That's an energy. That's part of what we are. And
at the same time, if you're a man physically, biologically, there has to be, and you feel
like a woman, and you want to express yourself as a woman, there has to be an honoring of those
(43:38):
two like in nature. You don't find the animals that can change their sex and there are several.
In disharmony with themselves, they change it as a result of needing to so that they can
bring life. So for me, I find that when there's, when that is a beautiful expression, it's
(44:03):
when you meet and see a person that understands, "I'm a man physically, but I feel everything
that is a woman inside myself, and I am in harmony with both. I don't deny one above the
other. This is how I feel in my life, in my emotion, but in my physical, I am a man, and
(44:26):
I honor everything that is that male gift that I am. It's when there is a complete denial
of one or the other and then a harm that creates a suffering. And that's what a surviving,
that's where I feel that in the feminine, we can teach how not to deny what we are. And
(44:48):
I'm not saying that people are, I'm not saying that if you're trans, you're denying what you
are. Please don't miss hearing. That's not what I'm saying. And I'm not saying that if you're
a homosexual, that you're denying with the other. This is, this is a tender conversation,
but it's a conversation that needs to not be so tender because it's real and it's part
of our expression. And it has been a part of the animal kingdom for aions. It is not something
(45:13):
that is so wrong that we shouldn't be able to say, okay, this is part of life. This is
how some people are born. But can we be in harmony with it? Can we really be in joy and tenderness
about it? And when we see somebody come into our community that may not feel like when
somebody loses connection with the peace and needs to be in conflict as a feminine, as the
(45:42):
feminine, which I think is part of our gift, is we are intended to nurture. We are intended
to open that space. That conversation has to come from people who connect to feminine.
Not only feminine, obviously masculine as well, but there has been a conditioning in the
masculine paradigm that it has to be a specific way. You know that. You're a man. Christopher,
(46:05):
you know, you know, wouldn't you agree that there is a rejection of what isn't male in more
in the masculine than in the feminine? I think our problem is we have been, as you say,
conditioned to think only in binary terms that we can only accept one of the opposites that
we do not give room, space or any kind of latitude to what's in the middle of these two poles.
(46:33):
And I think that's where we, that's where an individual feels they have to make a choice.
So they have to deny one in order to accept one. They can't be gray. They have to be black
or white. You cannot be gray. And that is just the condition of the world we've created
(46:54):
and the way that we have conditioned to think and to believe that that is all that exists.
I think it's a fundamental issue that we've made political.
Yeah, exactly. And please, the political hijacking of every human conversation has been one of the
(47:20):
most destructive elements of our evolution, I think, because if the family and humanity
outside of the political environment gave ourselves the space to have these conversations
that are uncomfortable about all these topics that sense the pandemic, we've all been challenged
(47:44):
to be able to bring them up. And I don't ever know what's going to come up when I'm on a podcast.
I never know what is going to be part of the conversation unless I'm asked a question.
And I don't cultivate my words in that way. I speak to what comes up in the moment and I have had
(48:05):
such a life where my exposure to so many thoughts, mindsets and experiences and my desire to be
compassionate and to understand and to create space for people to actually be happy.
That's what peace comes from and why can't we find peace? And so in that, and that's what my,
(48:34):
what I, my goal in this conversation to talk about something that so many people have are afraid to
talk about because I have my conditioning in this. I grew up in the 60s and 70s. My family wasn't like,
you know, they weren't talking about, you know, non-binary. They weren't talking about, you know,
any kind of, there was nobody in my family that was outwardly gay, but there were people in my
(48:59):
family that were gay, but they weren't outwardly gay because they didn't feel like they had a right
to be gay. My closest friends from the time when I moved to Italy at 18 years old, my, he was like a
brother to me. It was like I've met my, my brother from another mother that we passed through space
and saw each other and we met there and he was this beautiful gay man. And I had never been
(49:25):
in friendship that deeply with a gay man I've been before and it was like a, it was like an evolution
to my understanding of what human beings are. It was like, wow, he was so, oh god, you die way too
young and he was just so full of life, joy, and happiness and so much like me, you know? And he was
(49:51):
just, we were just like, it was just like me. He was a live innocent person who was in the world
expressing and I thought, how can this be suppressed? How can we not find space for this? And then I started
studying in nature and I started finding the animals that could literally change their sex, like I
said earlier, I was like, why are we so surprised that there are, that we feel this in our nature?
(50:17):
Yeah, I would like to not see people hurt themselves and go through regret when they're so young,
I would like us to nurture our people that feel that maybe the unique, the unicorns in our society,
like something I learned in our, in our communities, like I learned in the Native American culture.
When there was a person who was contrary is what the natives called gay, a person who was gay,
(50:47):
they were contrary, they knew what others didn't and they often became medicine men, medicine women
because they didn't force them to be in relationship with anyone, they didn't want to be in
relationship and they recognized that there was something connecting them to a part of nature
that not everybody else understood. And that was something that was so beautiful to honor it in that way.
(51:13):
And that brings us right back to the feminine, it was the women that made this discernment,
it was the women that protected these individuals because they were their children and they knew
when something was different. So they nurtured and protected and that's where I think the power of us
in the feminine, that's why I think we have to bring the feminine balance into this masculine
(51:38):
paradigm so that we can create a space where if somebody feels like they don't fit into that binary,
as you said, Christopher, that they know they're safe and they don't have to choose one or the other.
They can be that understanding of how both can be in harmony. To me, that's like, oh my gosh,
(52:04):
please teach us how to be in harmony with both. Please teach us how to be in harmony with both,
you feel both. That to me is such magic. You know, they help us because we run so far away from
understanding what that harmony looks like. You're here feeling both. You're physically feeling one
(52:26):
and internally feeling another. How can we bring this harmony? How can we stop one from abusing the
other with the child trafficking and how that whole thing comes around? Women, the feminine is the most
harmed in that world in child trafficking. The feminine is the most harmed, the most tortured,
the most damaged by masculine energy. If you come in the world and you know how to love that
(52:52):
feminine inside of you with the masculine that might be outside of you or the inverse, what can you
teach us? Why can't you teach us? That's what I want as well because I think I feel like it's a gift.
Yeah, no, you definitely resonate the thing that Heather and I feel the most is in that giving grace
(53:16):
to the human being, not whatever gender or sex you happen to be, just giving grace to humanity and
human beings. Yeah, because at one point we were both. Yeah, I mean, that is, you know, we go back to
something that's very, you know, ancient in its wisdom, but the yin and yang that there is that
(53:38):
masculine and feminine within each one of us. And I think this world, it pushes our understanding of
what once was very rigid. And I love that, you know, you talk so eloquently about indigenous
teachings because they had that deep knowing that really is within all of us still, if we look for it,
(54:01):
that helps us to understand what the newer world is trying to teach us, which is that these people
have always existed and will always exist. And that there's something special to what they call on us
to understand so that we have a deeper understanding of that feminine and masculine in each of us. So,
(54:25):
I love conversations like this because I appreciate how people wrestle with challenging changes
that sometimes make a lot of different people uncomfortable for different reasons. But, you know,
Christopher and I are our big believers that open dialogue is the only way that we get to know
(54:46):
ourselves better and get to know other people's viewpoints better. So, I appreciate, you know,
what you've shared and how you understand and how you choose to grow and how you also choose to
connect to ancient wisdom. Like you, you bridge those two sentences of knowing in such a great way.
(55:07):
You know, and thank you for saying that. I mean, I wrestle with my conditioning. I wrestle with,
you know, on a daily basis, I see men who are suppressing their vulnerability because they think it's
which is essentially the feminine in them because I think it's weak. And I see women putting a
(55:29):
front of being strong, acting like they're strong when they're not because they think that makes them
you know stronger. And it's like this confusion, this thing that the vulnerability is a weakness
when it is a powerful thing and to be able to have the courage to step out and say, I am both.
(55:50):
And if you and if you are both on 11, I'm both now. I'm both, I'm, you know, I'm just more feminine
than masculine in my chromosomes. So, I'm a woman and intellectually and in my mind and my attraction,
I am, I'm she, her. I am attracted to men. But that does not mean I am not both.
(56:13):
And that and somebody who comes out and feels really different than the way they look and they are
both or they feel equal, there's so much we can learn from our differences in that way. And I wrestle
with the discomfort of being trained not to have this conversation because we've been trained
through religious dogma, we've been trained through, you know, societal traditions, we've been trained
(56:37):
in so many ways not to move toward in the same way at the beginning of this conversation when we
talked about going into the unknown, we have been trained not to go into the places that make us
uncomfortable, but in the places that make us uncomfortable lies our freedom. And that's just the
way it is. It lies our evolution, lies our freedom, lies our healing. It is where it all begins, it's where
(57:02):
that fertile soil is waiting for us to dig our roots in and grow forward from there. When somebody
brings something that's uncomfortable into our sphere, it isn't a moment to turn our backs. It's a moment
to say how do I talk about this? Like today in this moment, which is telling Christopher was,
this is uncomfortable for me. I never know what I'm going to talk about. This moment talking about
(57:27):
this is not the most comfortable, but I have to talk about something when it comes up like this because
there's too many people not allowing for it just to be a conversation, even me at times. I don't always
express myself as openly as I am right now because sometimes I'm with family and I feel that
(57:47):
pressure to conform, sometimes I'm with friends and I know I'm with a group that may not feel
and I feel the pressure. I'm not always, you know, I don't like to live on courage 11, but it's
hard listening and and I'm going to go, I'm going to turn up the volume because it's been my past
(58:08):
and I think it's your past too and I think that's that frequency we connect to that we're going to
open the audio conversation that somebody might hear this and they may think that they may hear
from their own listening, which is about your own pain and suffering, looking at me and
I'm a heterosexual woman and thinking that I'm judging you, whether you hear me or not,
(58:30):
know this, I don't judge you, I love you, you're just like me and I'm just like you. There's not
a whole lot different between us because it boils down to we all need water, we all need air,
we all need love, we all need food and everybody poops. The truth and so on.
(58:52):
That's right. We're here on this bus together and we might as well be able to go sit next to one
another and find out who we are and deal with the discomfort of just not knowing, just not knowing.
I don't know what my next conversation like this is going to be. I don't know if somebody's going
to reach out to me and say you heard my feelings or do you really get me? I don't know, but whatever
(59:16):
that may be, it will be and by the grace I will be given the words to let that person know that we're
not that far apart. In the Lord Walker, this is in all this conversation, this is all the concept
that comes to me is that humanity evolves. We are in a, we are in at a point of evolution.
(59:38):
So these conversations that we're having now is we're trying to hang on to again, security,
what we know, but we cannot help but evolve. And this is an evolutionary point for humanity.
So that's what these conversations are about. We're acknowledging there is a evolution coming
(01:00:02):
in who we are as human beings and we're, a lot of us are resisting it. But it's inevitable.
Exactly. And we're being challenged and charged with with something that's that has value and it's
important. And it's yeah, we we cross that today together. And I just feel like you know I'm just
(01:00:24):
like, I'm having a chance for, you know, for being able to say. You just never know. Absolutely.
Absolutely. Yeah. No, it is. It's refreshing to go in there together. It is. It really is. And I
thank you for that. I thank you. I thank you for the passion that you spoke to Heather when you said,
(01:00:46):
what you said, I felt this, you know, I felt it coming from in here and I felt you, I need to say this,
I need to make sure, I need to make sure that the way that I believe what I believe in, my expansion
is not being pushed in and anyway, I need to put this out into the into the air into the energy.
And I just made me feel so good. So thank you because it was like, it was like, oh,
(01:01:11):
I'm pushing each other in a way. It's like when you lock arms, remember, you lock arms, you're like,
all right, I know this is really where are we going? But I got you. We're going to do this. Okay,
you got that step. All right. I got this step. And those are going to go. Where are we? Yes. We're going
to go together. Yes. Because we are going to be ever like it or not. We're going together.
(01:01:32):
And lucky me, I'm in the middle. Totally agree. Yes, you are.
It is such, it's one of those rare moments on the show where we really can reach through
(01:01:55):
the screen and just hug you to death, right? It just resonates so perfectly, so beautifully. And we
cannot thank you enough for being who you are and being as open and as vulnerable as you are
on this platform that you've never been on before. You don't know the two of us. But to be that
(01:02:16):
open, we are so grateful. We are so thankful because that's what people need to hear. And we appreciate
it so much. I do too. Thank you for the opportunity to grow. I've grown today. I've grown today because of
the space that you both have created and because you know, we trusted each other to be vulnerable together.
(01:02:40):
We didn't go into protection. We went into, we just kept moving forward and I'm just really grateful
whenever I feel growth and that somebody else opens up and supports me. It's beautiful. So thank you.
It reminds me of one of your shows you've been on Star Trek, Into the Unknown.
(01:03:01):
Yes, exactly. That was fun. We did it today. Yeah, Into the Unknown, it works.
I think we've created something, an opportunity for somebody else maybe to recognize they're not alone.
(01:03:24):
You're there. Heather and Christopher are both in this world with you. I am in this world with you.
None of us knows exactly what our next step is and what our next is exactly and that's part of the fun.
That's part of the, the, the, it could be, um, a trepidation, but like Lisa says often to her team,
(01:03:49):
she says, hold your fear in one hand and you're encouraging the other and jump because what it is
that you have to share cannot be held back by what you think you're afraid of because what you
think that you're afraid of isn't what you think it is. It's something that's already gone
(01:04:11):
that has been thrown out in front of you. It is already gone. You're already past it by the time
we know and are trying to define and say what it is. It's so far behind us. So we don't, we don't,
we don't know and being okay with what we don't know and for those, oh gosh, for those that
(01:04:32):
are tender in this conversation. Oh gosh, I just want to say you're so not alone. You have people here
in this world that are leaning into you and need to know that you are leaning into us to
because for me, I need to know that I'm trusted as much as I need to trust.
(01:04:55):
That helps me grow. So give me the opportunity to be trusted with your tender spots and your
moments of feeling alone. Give me that moment. Think of me there with you by yourself because you're not
and think of Christopher there and think of Heather there and think of the people that come into
(01:05:18):
this space. We're together in this and we're all learning like children innocently trying to discover
what the best thing is for not just ourselves but for all of us. That's what I'm not right now.
That's what we want for my day going forward and I'm grateful. Thank you.
Her name is Walker Kimberly Brandt and I want you to check out her book "A Waken Discovering
(01:05:44):
Yourself to the Light of Your Innocence." Please look for that because there's a lot to learn and gain
from her words as we've heard here today. So thank you so much and you have been listening to
the Virgin, the Beauty, and the Bitch!
(01:06:13):
To become a partner in the VBB community we invite you to find us at virginbeautybitch.com
like us on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn and share us with people who are defiantly different
(01:06:34):
like you. Until next time, thanks for listening.
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