August 14, 2025 • 24 mins
This week on Wake Up with Marci, we’re diving into a conversation many women aren’t having — but should be. I’m joined by Lauren Tetenbaum, advocate, therapist, and women’s health educator, to unpack millennial menopause — what it is, what it isn’t, and why the myths surrounding it need to be busted once and for all.
From early symptoms to emotional shifts, we explore how this life stage impacts careers, relationships, and mental health, plus how you can advocate for yourself in a system that often overlooks women’s needs. Whether you’re approaching menopause, in it, or simply curious, this episode is packed with insights and empowerment.
Connect with Lauren;
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurenatetenbaum/
Follow Wake Up with Marci:
Instagram: [@wakeupwithmarci]
Facebook: [Wake Up with Marci]
Website: [www.wakeupwithmarci.com]
Don’t miss this insightful conversation that could change lives! Like, comment, and subscribe for more inspiring content. 💡💬
From early symptoms to emotional shifts, we explore how this life stage impacts careers, relationships, and mental health, plus how you can advocate for yourself in a system that often overlooks women’s needs. Whether you’re approaching menopause, in it, or simply curious, this episode is packed with insights and empowerment.
Connect with Lauren;
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurenatetenbaum/
Follow Wake Up with Marci:
Instagram: [@wakeupwithmarci]
Facebook: [Wake Up with Marci]
Website: [www.wakeupwithmarci.com]
Don’t miss this insightful conversation that could change lives! Like, comment, and subscribe for more inspiring content. 💡💬
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Wake Up with Marcy, a deep dive in
the self discovery. I'm your host, Marcy Hopkins, and this
is the space where we get real about life, transformation
and finding our true selves. Hello all, and welcome back
to Wake Up with Marcy, where we share real stories
and conversations that inspire transformation, healing and joy. I'm your host,
(00:25):
Marcy Hopkins, and I am so grateful that you are
here with me.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Today.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
We're going to dive into a topic that's most often
misunderstood or under discussed, and really, let's be honest, still stigmatized,
and that's menopause. Today's guest is Lauren Tettenbaum, a licensed
clinical social worker, women's rights advocate, and the author of
(00:51):
Millennial Menopause, Preparing for Perimenopause, Menopause and Life's Next Period Love,
that relatable and empowering guide that helps every millennial woman
and her needs from mental health and hormones to careers, relationships,
and how menopause is portrayed in the media. Lauren is
(01:13):
helping women rewrite the story. This isn't just the end
of one chapter, It's the beginning of a new era.
So Lauren, thank you so much. For being on the show,
and I'm super excited you're here.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
So let's talk a little bit about this book.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
I mean, this is a huge topic.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Obviously, I'm grateful that we are beginning this conversation and
there's more understanding around it. But why was it important
for you to write this book and what did you
find that was missing in the conversation around this topic.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I'm laughing because everything was missing in the conversation. I
was approaching forty and I realized that I knew very
little about menopause.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
And I work.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
In healthcare, a jacent fields as a psychotherapist. I've always
been passionate about women's reproductive health, women's reproductive mental health,
and it was astounding to me how.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Little I knew.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
And then the more I learned, I was even more
shocked that I hadn't learned it. And I really felt
that my peers, my millennial generation, my clients, my friends,
we all needed to know more.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
We deserve to know more. And I set out to
learn and I wrote it all down.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
So tell me, what are some things, like top three
things that you learned that you had no idea about.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
The fact that perimenopause, which is the phase leading up
to the final menstrual period and characterized by fluctuating hormones.
The fact that that can last for several years and
start in one thirties is number one. Number two the
fact that perimenopause can involve very severe mental health symptoms
(03:07):
and implications. And number three that hormone therapy is generally
safe and effective as an option to treat symptoms. Because
I had grown up under the shadow of the WHI
study and we were effectively.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Told that it causes cancer and it's not an option.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah, so let me ask you this because obviously mental
health is really important, a really important topic for me.
I myself in fifty six, and so I am on
the other side. I guess I'm in menopause now.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Now.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I started perimenopause very early. I was like maybe forty one.
My gun in colleges didn't even she wouldn't even acknowledge
that that was happening, right, Yeah, So you fight for
it if you know, like it's just you know, have
the test done. It's an easy little test that you
(04:06):
can have done. But one of the things that I noticed,
like I mentally felt like I was spiraling out of control,
and like my PMS was just I've thought everyone hated me,
like I was in such a darkness, and actually my
(04:30):
drinking elevated even more. I quit drinking when I was
forty six, forty five, forty six, and but I realized,
like that few years, I spiraled out of control.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
So can you talk a.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Little bit more to that, because I don't think that
women understand how truly impactful it is on our mental health.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I totally agree.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
I don't think that healthcare provides truly understand. And thank
you so much for sharing, because that's what we have
to do, right. We have to share stories. We have
to help other women, even though each of our experiences
will be different. But what you're describing, and it's interesting,
the word spiraling is something I hear a lot when
it comes to perimenopause and mental health symptoms and that
(05:22):
feeling of being out of control. One woman said it
was like a demon took over my body, and she
sort of she knew she didn't want to act this
way or yell at her kids or hate her husband,
but she couldn't help herself. And we see a lot
of rage, We see a lot of sadness and anxiety
and that irritability on a huge scale. And these symptoms
(05:46):
are common, but that doesn't mean you have to accept
them as.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Your new normal.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
And there are many tools that we now know we
can implement, whether it's doe hormone therapy through SSRIs, through
cognitive behavioral therapy, through a combination, that can alleviate these symptoms.
And they do very often pop up as some of
the first symptoms of perimenopause, and women, I think are
so used to telling themselves, I'm just tired, I'm just stressed.
(06:14):
It's just this phase of life. And then when their
healthcare providers are saying nothing's wrong with you or this
is just life right now, of course they feel even
more alone and it can impact them even further.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Absolutely, so, I do love that we are starting to
have the conversation right and the studies are finally happening.
I mean, believe it or not, it's very new that
these things are being studied, as you know, But why
is it? Why is there so still so much shame
(06:50):
around it.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
I'm making a kind of sarcastic smile because I think
the answer boils down to misogyny and the way that
we value women, and I think it's a really unfortunate
reality that collectively we are overcoming. But it's a long
road ahead, and all women of all ages, all allies
(07:12):
need to be talking about these issues, need to be
valuing women beyond their reproductive years and abilities. And as
a culture, we also need to remove the stigma around aging.
We tend to think of aging as a negative and
something to be feared, when in fact, it's a beautiful privilege.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
It is a Listen, I'm glad I know what I
know today, I'll tell you wisdom and you do get
so much more kind of on a different note, but
you just get so much more comfortable in your skin.
But I had to go through a lot to get here.
So focusing in on millennials, you kind of touched that
(07:55):
on that because you are a millennial. But what is different,
like why millennials?
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Sure, so, millennials technically were born between nineteen eighty one
and nineteen ninety six. And what makes us unique, I think,
is that we've been through a lot, and all generations have,
but we came of age during nine to eleven, and
of course we became very comfortable with digital media and
access to the Internet, et cetera. And I think in
(08:24):
part of the traumas that we've endured and our ability
to connect via social media and beyond, we are used
to talking about tough topics or we've gotten more comfortable
at least than generations prior. So we've seen a trend
women and men are talking more about fertility struggles, motherhood struggles,
(08:46):
mental health, and what we want out of our fulfillment
in our careers, et cetera. And I think that menopause
is the next chapter for both what we're going to
experience and what we should be talking about.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
I love to hear that because you know, it makes
me really think about that, like what you have gone through,
and it enables you to face the harder subjects. So yeah,
I appreciate you sharing that because we're building.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
On the amazing work that the women in gen X
et cetera. Have started, And I think, again, it's so
important to all collaborate and be a part of this together.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I love that. So let's talk about when we are
creating this shift, right, Like what as a mom and
as high achievers, like, how are we shifting the way
that we think about ourselves during the perimenopausemenopause stage.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Great question.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I think that we have to and this is something
I encourage all of my clients and friend to do.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
We have to know ourselves. So if something is feeling
a little bit different.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Or new and we don't like it, we have to
get support and resources for it. And that might be
waking up in the middle of the night or the
moodiness that you alluded to. It doesn't have to be,
you know, the severe hot flashes that we tend to
think of when we think about menopause. And so when
you know yourself, I think it's really important to listen
(10:28):
to yourself and to say, yes, I am a busy,
exhausted mom and trying to do a million and one things,
but you know what, I'm not feeling as good as
I think I could feel, and I'm going to reach
out for support. And support is and can and should
come in many forms at home, at the doctor's office,
(10:49):
in the workplace, in your community. And I just think
that women and moms especially tend to put themselves last
on their to do list, but we need to do
a better job of prioritizing our own and.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Health well, yes, because then we are better for ourselves
and then everyone else if ver we were better for
everyone around us, right, Like, we really are the glues,
So if we still come and apart ourselves, it really
impacts everyone and everything around us. So you were talking
(11:22):
about some.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Ways that we can help ourselves.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
What help is there out there? Who do we go to?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
What are the questions we need to ask? Sure?
Speaker 3 (11:34):
So I am a huge believer in building a team,
and it should include a medical provider who can run
lab tests to rule out any other kind of illnesses
of course or conditions, and potentially prescribe medication that you
might need. Medication is a tool in our toolbox, so
it could be antidepressants, could be hormone therapy, whatever is
(11:57):
right for you, and all women should be offered information
on all of the above. I also, of course believe
in psychotherapy, and we know that cognitive behavioral therapy in
particular can be really impactful to alleviate menopause symptoms. I
can't say enough the importance of social connection. It's good
(12:20):
for our cognitive health, which is of course a major
issue as we age, but also for levity and fun
and maintaining that social interactions is so good for our
mental health, exercise, strength building, strength training and sleep is
one of my favorite things lifestyle wise to work on.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
And the questions that we should be asking are what
do I need to optimize my health? And then we
need to go after that.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, so sleep, that's a big one. And the heat,
hot fleshes that are happening, and you know sleep with
the core affects pretty much everything, right, our stress, health,
how we just interact throughout the day, brain.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Blog, all of that.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
So how can we help ourselves, Like, let's just choose
that one right now.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Sleep? How can we help ourselves with sleep?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
So I like to tell women of all ages prioritize
your sleep because building good habits will only serve you
later on when you're in the menopause transition when sleep
might not be as accessible because of the other physical
symptoms going on, the inability to die sleep, perhaps the
needing to your need in the middle of the night,
(13:45):
you know, night sweats, all the things. So if you
have good habits, you're starting off at a good baseline.
And of course, if you then experience those things like
the night sweats et cetera that are disruptive, get.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
The right help for that. Cooling blankets.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
There's of course, you know, just the thermostat put it
on a low setting. I spoke with a couple of
sleep experts. They both really strongly recommended a cool and
very dark room.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Ye no screens before.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Bed, which we all, I think know, but when we
really emphasize the importance of sleep, it's something that we
should do a better job with. And again, medication if
you need it, and therapy if you're roomin eating and
can't get rid of intrusive thoughts, but sleep really is
medicine itself, exactly.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Just so you know, anti depressants helped me. That's what
I was put on, but I don't even I wasn't
even really given any other alternative, but it ended up
working for me, so I was grateful for that. Now,
another one that comes up a lot is around intercourse,
(15:00):
sex in our sexual drive and dryness. Things that we
may not think that this can be. A perimenopause can
be affecting, and it can really and that's a big,
big part, but women are very uncomfortable going in and
speaking about it to theircologist or being honest, right, So
(15:25):
talk to us a little bit more about that, like
what should we look for and is their help.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Yes, I'm so happy to say that help is available,
but I agree before we even get there, there tends
to be a disconnect. I think a large part of
that does fall on clinicians who can and should be
doing more of asking open ended questions and creating a
safe space for the patient in front of them to
express themselves. When it comes to libido, we know that
(15:57):
often libidos get lower as we age, and of course
is the stress of life consumes us, body image issues
can come into play if we're not feeling good in
our bodies, if we're not feeling sexy, right, the mental load,
and then the vaginal dryness and what they used to
call vaginal atrophy. The tissue gets thinner, so it's quite
(16:20):
painful at worst, and you know, just you're not that.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Into it at best.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Fortunately, there are things we can do.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
I think normalizing talking about sex in general is important,
and using proper terminology with body parts, and you know,
just being more comfortable in general. And then there are
products and medications that we can use. There's a vaginal
estrogen which is safe and effective for every woman that
(16:51):
we are trying to remove. The black boots warning on
formone therapy again can help different kinds of loops. There's
also two different new metaw new ish they're not that new,
but new medications.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Called Addie and by Lasi that women can take.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
That too few people know about, but I am encouraging
us all to seek out information because we should be
told about our options.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Yeah, one hundred percent. And also I have an incredible
guynecologist and she has a machine called the Mona Lisa.
I don't know if you've heard that, and that's about
the cellular regeneration and helps with that thinning and the
pain and the pain that comes with that.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
I'm so happy to hear that and to hear that
you're aware of it. I have been to many events
on menopause, and nearly every time a woman will be
beautifully brave and share her story and say, I've been
experiencing pain with any sort of insertion, tampon's fingers, anything,
for years, and I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
What's helped going to me.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
And that's heartbreaking because it shouldn't get to that point.
And I understand why it has because of our culture
and because we don't have the right training, but it
doesn't have to. And of course Also there's communication with
your partner if you have one, and learning to know
what works for you and your body as well is
(18:22):
really important.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
So please, please please get help. It's available.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
And another huge one, Lauren, Let's be real. Women are
always concerned about their weight. Yeah right, and oh now
I'm hitting perimenopause. Menopause.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
You know, I can't help it.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
I'm just going to gain weight. What do you say
to that.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
I say a few things.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
It's always important to, of course, have a nutritious diet, right,
and I don't mean diet in terms of abstaining from food, but.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Just what we eat, leafy.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Greens, whole grains, eggs, you know, protein of course is
having a moment, and fiber that's kind of all stuff
we've already known. And I personally think it's important to
enjoy your life and you know, have the treats if that's.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
What makes you feel good.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
The reality is that as we age, our bodies do change,
and I think that sometimes there's a lot of room
for working on acceptance. You know, why should a fifty
year old look the way she did at twenty? Maybe
she shouldn't. That being said, of course, it's difficult to
encounter change and not recognize ourselves. And we also need
(19:40):
to be careful of the mid section weeking because it
can have other impacts on cardiovascular health and things like that.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
So I would say live.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Your life, eat nutritiously and if you need if it's
bothering you, much like your libido might be, might not be.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
But if it's.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Bothering you, get help, work with a trainer, work with
a nutritionists. We've seen a lot of data on GLP
one medications and coordination with hormone therapy be really effective
for one's health. And that's what it boils down to.
It's one's health, not one's gene size. Do you like
hormone therapy? I think that if that is what works
(20:21):
for someone, that they should absolutely pursue it. They could
also try it, and we know that it's safe and
effective for most women unless they have a contraindication.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Okay, so I know that your book I'm so excited
for you, congratulations, just came out and it's packed with
stories and solutions and science and a great resource. But
can you share a few practical things that someone could
start doing today to help themselves emotionally and physically.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Yeah, I would say, I'll share some things that I've done.
Start strength training so important. We often don't think about it,
but it is incredibly vital for our bone health, our
brain health, everything is connected, and it's something that we
need to be doing so that we are strong as
we age. That's hugely important. I would also say make
(21:19):
sure to talk about these issues.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Again.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Every woman would go through things differently, but just knowing
that you're not alone in this journey, that what worked
for your best friend may not work for you because
you might have different symptoms. But being able to say
I'm kind of feeling weird, you know, any advice, any
solidarity that can just be so powerful and beautiful. So I,
(21:45):
as you can imagine, talk about this stuff all the
time with my girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
And I think that we all should be doing that.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
And I really encourage people to know themselves.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
You know your body, your mood best.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
If something is different and not what you want it
to be, talk about it, ask for help, get the
information and resources.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
You need, love it, love.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
It, and you're not alone. Yeah, lady around you going
through the same.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
So I just want to thank you so much Lauren
for coming on and empowering us and you know, communicating
something that it can be so difficult to talk about
and honestly definitely hard to understand right and to learn
to advocate for ourselves. So thank you again for.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Coming on wake Up, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
So I just want to let you know, for all
of you guys out there, if you are wondering if
you're in perimont menopause or you know, heading into the menopause,
I just want to say, Lauren, you said a few years,
for that perimenopause can.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Be up to ten years.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
I just want you to know that you can find
Lauren's upcoming book, Millennial Menopause, and can you find it anywhere?
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Yes, it's available wherever books are sold. I'm them Burns
and Noble independent bookstores. If you go to Millennialmenopause dot
com that's my website, or it'll take you to my
website that has all my contact info and if I
can help you directly, I will try my best to
point you in the right direction.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Awesome, amazing, Lauren. Thank you for the work you're doing again.
And before we go, I want to invite you to
join me for the upcoming Shatterproof Walk for Recovery I'm
going to be in seeing the event and I'm building
a team team wake Up with Marcy, and I would
love for you to walk with me.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
That event is.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Going to be in New York City October twenty fifth,
and also in la November ninth. That'll be doing both
of those, So I'm going to link the details in
the and all the information below along with Lauren's information,
And i want you to remember please that you are
not broken, you are powerful, worthy, just getting started, and
(24:10):
I'll see you next week. Have a great week.
Welcome to Wake Up with Marcy, a deep dive in
the self discovery. I'm your host, Marcy Hopkins, and this
is the space where we get real about life, transformation
and finding our true selves. Hello all, and welcome back
to Wake Up with Marcy, where we share real stories
and conversations that inspire transformation, healing and joy. I'm your host,
(00:25):
Marcy Hopkins, and I am so grateful that you are
here with me.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Today.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
We're going to dive into a topic that's most often
misunderstood or under discussed, and really, let's be honest, still stigmatized,
and that's menopause. Today's guest is Lauren Tettenbaum, a licensed
clinical social worker, women's rights advocate, and the author of
(00:51):
Millennial Menopause, Preparing for Perimenopause, Menopause and Life's Next Period Love,
that relatable and empowering guide that helps every millennial woman
and her needs from mental health and hormones to careers, relationships,
and how menopause is portrayed in the media. Lauren is
(01:13):
helping women rewrite the story. This isn't just the end
of one chapter, It's the beginning of a new era.
So Lauren, thank you so much. For being on the show,
and I'm super excited you're here.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
So let's talk a little bit about this book.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
I mean, this is a huge topic.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Obviously, I'm grateful that we are beginning this conversation and
there's more understanding around it. But why was it important
for you to write this book and what did you
find that was missing in the conversation around this topic.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I'm laughing because everything was missing in the conversation. I
was approaching forty and I realized that I knew very
little about menopause.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
And I work.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
In healthcare, a jacent fields as a psychotherapist. I've always
been passionate about women's reproductive health, women's reproductive mental health,
and it was astounding to me how.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Little I knew.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
And then the more I learned, I was even more
shocked that I hadn't learned it. And I really felt
that my peers, my millennial generation, my clients, my friends,
we all needed to know more.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
We deserve to know more. And I set out to
learn and I wrote it all down.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
So tell me, what are some things, like top three
things that you learned that you had no idea about.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
The fact that perimenopause, which is the phase leading up
to the final menstrual period and characterized by fluctuating hormones.
The fact that that can last for several years and
start in one thirties is number one. Number two the
fact that perimenopause can involve very severe mental health symptoms
(03:07):
and implications. And number three that hormone therapy is generally
safe and effective as an option to treat symptoms. Because
I had grown up under the shadow of the WHI
study and we were effectively.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Told that it causes cancer and it's not an option.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah, so let me ask you this because obviously mental
health is really important, a really important topic for me.
I myself in fifty six, and so I am on
the other side. I guess I'm in menopause now.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Now.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I started perimenopause very early. I was like maybe forty one.
My gun in colleges didn't even she wouldn't even acknowledge
that that was happening, right, Yeah, So you fight for
it if you know, like it's just you know, have
the test done. It's an easy little test that you
(04:06):
can have done. But one of the things that I noticed,
like I mentally felt like I was spiraling out of control,
and like my PMS was just I've thought everyone hated me,
like I was in such a darkness, and actually my
(04:30):
drinking elevated even more. I quit drinking when I was
forty six, forty five, forty six, and but I realized,
like that few years, I spiraled out of control.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
So can you talk a.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Little bit more to that, because I don't think that
women understand how truly impactful it is on our mental health.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I totally agree.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
I don't think that healthcare provides truly understand. And thank
you so much for sharing, because that's what we have
to do, right. We have to share stories. We have
to help other women, even though each of our experiences
will be different. But what you're describing, and it's interesting,
the word spiraling is something I hear a lot when
it comes to perimenopause and mental health symptoms and that
(05:22):
feeling of being out of control. One woman said it
was like a demon took over my body, and she
sort of she knew she didn't want to act this
way or yell at her kids or hate her husband,
but she couldn't help herself. And we see a lot
of rage, We see a lot of sadness and anxiety
and that irritability on a huge scale. And these symptoms
(05:46):
are common, but that doesn't mean you have to accept
them as.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Your new normal.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
And there are many tools that we now know we
can implement, whether it's doe hormone therapy through SSRIs, through
cognitive behavioral therapy, through a combination, that can alleviate these symptoms.
And they do very often pop up as some of
the first symptoms of perimenopause, and women, I think are
so used to telling themselves, I'm just tired, I'm just stressed.
(06:14):
It's just this phase of life. And then when their
healthcare providers are saying nothing's wrong with you or this
is just life right now, of course they feel even
more alone and it can impact them even further.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Absolutely, so, I do love that we are starting to
have the conversation right and the studies are finally happening.
I mean, believe it or not, it's very new that
these things are being studied, as you know, But why
is it? Why is there so still so much shame
(06:50):
around it.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
I'm making a kind of sarcastic smile because I think
the answer boils down to misogyny and the way that
we value women, and I think it's a really unfortunate
reality that collectively we are overcoming. But it's a long
road ahead, and all women of all ages, all allies
(07:12):
need to be talking about these issues, need to be
valuing women beyond their reproductive years and abilities. And as
a culture, we also need to remove the stigma around aging.
We tend to think of aging as a negative and
something to be feared, when in fact, it's a beautiful privilege.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
It is a Listen, I'm glad I know what I
know today, I'll tell you wisdom and you do get
so much more kind of on a different note, but
you just get so much more comfortable in your skin.
But I had to go through a lot to get here.
So focusing in on millennials, you kind of touched that
(07:55):
on that because you are a millennial. But what is different,
like why millennials?
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Sure, so, millennials technically were born between nineteen eighty one
and nineteen ninety six. And what makes us unique, I think,
is that we've been through a lot, and all generations have,
but we came of age during nine to eleven, and
of course we became very comfortable with digital media and
access to the Internet, et cetera. And I think in
(08:24):
part of the traumas that we've endured and our ability
to connect via social media and beyond, we are used
to talking about tough topics or we've gotten more comfortable
at least than generations prior. So we've seen a trend
women and men are talking more about fertility struggles, motherhood struggles,
(08:46):
mental health, and what we want out of our fulfillment
in our careers, et cetera. And I think that menopause
is the next chapter for both what we're going to
experience and what we should be talking about.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
I love to hear that because you know, it makes
me really think about that, like what you have gone through,
and it enables you to face the harder subjects. So yeah,
I appreciate you sharing that because we're building.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
On the amazing work that the women in gen X
et cetera. Have started, And I think, again, it's so
important to all collaborate and be a part of this together.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I love that. So let's talk about when we are
creating this shift, right, Like what as a mom and
as high achievers, like, how are we shifting the way
that we think about ourselves during the perimenopausemenopause stage.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Great question.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I think that we have to and this is something
I encourage all of my clients and friend to do.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
We have to know ourselves. So if something is feeling
a little bit different.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Or new and we don't like it, we have to
get support and resources for it. And that might be
waking up in the middle of the night or the
moodiness that you alluded to. It doesn't have to be,
you know, the severe hot flashes that we tend to
think of when we think about menopause. And so when
you know yourself, I think it's really important to listen
(10:28):
to yourself and to say, yes, I am a busy,
exhausted mom and trying to do a million and one things,
but you know what, I'm not feeling as good as
I think I could feel, and I'm going to reach
out for support. And support is and can and should
come in many forms at home, at the doctor's office,
(10:49):
in the workplace, in your community. And I just think
that women and moms especially tend to put themselves last
on their to do list, but we need to do
a better job of prioritizing our own and.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Health well, yes, because then we are better for ourselves
and then everyone else if ver we were better for
everyone around us, right, Like, we really are the glues,
So if we still come and apart ourselves, it really
impacts everyone and everything around us. So you were talking
(11:22):
about some.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Ways that we can help ourselves.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
What help is there out there? Who do we go to?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
What are the questions we need to ask? Sure?
Speaker 3 (11:34):
So I am a huge believer in building a team,
and it should include a medical provider who can run
lab tests to rule out any other kind of illnesses
of course or conditions, and potentially prescribe medication that you
might need. Medication is a tool in our toolbox, so
it could be antidepressants, could be hormone therapy, whatever is
(11:57):
right for you, and all women should be offered information
on all of the above. I also, of course believe
in psychotherapy, and we know that cognitive behavioral therapy in
particular can be really impactful to alleviate menopause symptoms. I
can't say enough the importance of social connection. It's good
(12:20):
for our cognitive health, which is of course a major
issue as we age, but also for levity and fun
and maintaining that social interactions is so good for our
mental health, exercise, strength building, strength training and sleep is
one of my favorite things lifestyle wise to work on.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
And the questions that we should be asking are what
do I need to optimize my health? And then we
need to go after that.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, so sleep, that's a big one. And the heat,
hot fleshes that are happening, and you know sleep with
the core affects pretty much everything, right, our stress, health,
how we just interact throughout the day, brain.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Blog, all of that.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
So how can we help ourselves, Like, let's just choose
that one right now.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Sleep? How can we help ourselves with sleep?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
So I like to tell women of all ages prioritize
your sleep because building good habits will only serve you
later on when you're in the menopause transition when sleep
might not be as accessible because of the other physical
symptoms going on, the inability to die sleep, perhaps the
needing to your need in the middle of the night,
(13:45):
you know, night sweats, all the things. So if you
have good habits, you're starting off at a good baseline.
And of course, if you then experience those things like
the night sweats et cetera that are disruptive, get.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
The right help for that. Cooling blankets.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
There's of course, you know, just the thermostat put it
on a low setting. I spoke with a couple of
sleep experts. They both really strongly recommended a cool and
very dark room.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Ye no screens before.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Bed, which we all, I think know, but when we
really emphasize the importance of sleep, it's something that we
should do a better job with. And again, medication if
you need it, and therapy if you're roomin eating and
can't get rid of intrusive thoughts, but sleep really is
medicine itself, exactly.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Just so you know, anti depressants helped me. That's what
I was put on, but I don't even I wasn't
even really given any other alternative, but it ended up
working for me, so I was grateful for that. Now,
another one that comes up a lot is around intercourse,
(15:00):
sex in our sexual drive and dryness. Things that we
may not think that this can be. A perimenopause can
be affecting, and it can really and that's a big,
big part, but women are very uncomfortable going in and
speaking about it to theircologist or being honest, right, So
(15:25):
talk to us a little bit more about that, like
what should we look for and is their help.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Yes, I'm so happy to say that help is available,
but I agree before we even get there, there tends
to be a disconnect. I think a large part of
that does fall on clinicians who can and should be
doing more of asking open ended questions and creating a
safe space for the patient in front of them to
express themselves. When it comes to libido, we know that
(15:57):
often libidos get lower as we age, and of course
is the stress of life consumes us, body image issues
can come into play if we're not feeling good in
our bodies, if we're not feeling sexy, right, the mental load,
and then the vaginal dryness and what they used to
call vaginal atrophy. The tissue gets thinner, so it's quite
(16:20):
painful at worst, and you know, just you're not that.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Into it at best.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Fortunately, there are things we can do.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
I think normalizing talking about sex in general is important,
and using proper terminology with body parts, and you know,
just being more comfortable in general. And then there are
products and medications that we can use. There's a vaginal
estrogen which is safe and effective for every woman that
(16:51):
we are trying to remove. The black boots warning on
formone therapy again can help different kinds of loops. There's
also two different new metaw new ish they're not that new,
but new medications.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Called Addie and by Lasi that women can take.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
That too few people know about, but I am encouraging
us all to seek out information because we should be
told about our options.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Yeah, one hundred percent. And also I have an incredible
guynecologist and she has a machine called the Mona Lisa.
I don't know if you've heard that, and that's about
the cellular regeneration and helps with that thinning and the
pain and the pain that comes with that.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
I'm so happy to hear that and to hear that
you're aware of it. I have been to many events
on menopause, and nearly every time a woman will be
beautifully brave and share her story and say, I've been
experiencing pain with any sort of insertion, tampon's fingers, anything,
for years, and I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
What's helped going to me.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
And that's heartbreaking because it shouldn't get to that point.
And I understand why it has because of our culture
and because we don't have the right training, but it
doesn't have to. And of course Also there's communication with
your partner if you have one, and learning to know
what works for you and your body as well is
(18:22):
really important.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
So please, please please get help. It's available.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
And another huge one, Lauren, Let's be real. Women are
always concerned about their weight. Yeah right, and oh now
I'm hitting perimenopause. Menopause.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
You know, I can't help it.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
I'm just going to gain weight. What do you say
to that.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
I say a few things.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
It's always important to, of course, have a nutritious diet, right,
and I don't mean diet in terms of abstaining from food, but.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Just what we eat, leafy.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Greens, whole grains, eggs, you know, protein of course is
having a moment, and fiber that's kind of all stuff
we've already known. And I personally think it's important to
enjoy your life and you know, have the treats if that's.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
What makes you feel good.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
The reality is that as we age, our bodies do change,
and I think that sometimes there's a lot of room
for working on acceptance. You know, why should a fifty
year old look the way she did at twenty? Maybe
she shouldn't. That being said, of course, it's difficult to
encounter change and not recognize ourselves. And we also need
(19:40):
to be careful of the mid section weeking because it
can have other impacts on cardiovascular health and things like that.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
So I would say live.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Your life, eat nutritiously and if you need if it's
bothering you, much like your libido might be, might not be.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
But if it's.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Bothering you, get help, work with a trainer, work with
a nutritionists. We've seen a lot of data on GLP
one medications and coordination with hormone therapy be really effective
for one's health. And that's what it boils down to.
It's one's health, not one's gene size. Do you like
hormone therapy? I think that if that is what works
(20:21):
for someone, that they should absolutely pursue it. They could
also try it, and we know that it's safe and
effective for most women unless they have a contraindication.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Okay, so I know that your book I'm so excited
for you, congratulations, just came out and it's packed with
stories and solutions and science and a great resource. But
can you share a few practical things that someone could
start doing today to help themselves emotionally and physically.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Yeah, I would say, I'll share some things that I've done.
Start strength training so important. We often don't think about it,
but it is incredibly vital for our bone health, our
brain health, everything is connected, and it's something that we
need to be doing so that we are strong as
we age. That's hugely important. I would also say make
(21:19):
sure to talk about these issues.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Again.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Every woman would go through things differently, but just knowing
that you're not alone in this journey, that what worked
for your best friend may not work for you because
you might have different symptoms. But being able to say
I'm kind of feeling weird, you know, any advice, any
solidarity that can just be so powerful and beautiful. So I,
(21:45):
as you can imagine, talk about this stuff all the
time with my girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
And I think that we all should be doing that.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
And I really encourage people to know themselves.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
You know your body, your mood best.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
If something is different and not what you want it
to be, talk about it, ask for help, get the
information and resources.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
You need, love it, love.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
It, and you're not alone. Yeah, lady around you going
through the same.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
So I just want to thank you so much Lauren
for coming on and empowering us and you know, communicating
something that it can be so difficult to talk about
and honestly definitely hard to understand right and to learn
to advocate for ourselves. So thank you again for.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Coming on wake Up, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
So I just want to let you know, for all
of you guys out there, if you are wondering if
you're in perimont menopause or you know, heading into the menopause,
I just want to say, Lauren, you said a few years,
for that perimenopause can.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Be up to ten years.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
I just want you to know that you can find
Lauren's upcoming book, Millennial Menopause, and can you find it anywhere?
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Yes, it's available wherever books are sold. I'm them Burns
and Noble independent bookstores. If you go to Millennialmenopause dot
com that's my website, or it'll take you to my
website that has all my contact info and if I
can help you directly, I will try my best to
point you in the right direction.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Awesome, amazing, Lauren. Thank you for the work you're doing again.
And before we go, I want to invite you to
join me for the upcoming Shatterproof Walk for Recovery I'm
going to be in seeing the event and I'm building
a team team wake Up with Marcy, and I would
love for you to walk with me.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
That event is.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Going to be in New York City October twenty fifth,
and also in la November ninth. That'll be doing both
of those, So I'm going to link the details in
the and all the information below along with Lauren's information,
And i want you to remember please that you are
not broken, you are powerful, worthy, just getting started, and
(24:10):
I'll see you next week. Have a great week.
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