July 10, 2025 • 25 mins
On this episode of Wake Up with Marci, we’re diving into a powerful and often overlooked truth—the connection between trauma and addiction. Many of us carry emotional wounds that show up in how we cope, how we relate, and sometimes, how we self-destruct.
Marci opens up with heartfelt insight on how unresolved pain can lead to patterns of addiction, and more importantly, how we can begin to heal. This is a conversation filled with compassion, reflection, and hope—for anyone seeking understanding, support, or a new beginning.
Healing starts with awareness. Let this episode be a safe space to begin.
Follow Wake Up with Marci:
Instagram: [@wakeupwithmarci]
Facebook: [Wake Up with Marci]
Website: [www.wakeupwithmarci.com]
Don’t miss this insightful conversation that could change lives! Like, comment, and subscribe for more inspiring content. 💡💬
Marci opens up with heartfelt insight on how unresolved pain can lead to patterns of addiction, and more importantly, how we can begin to heal. This is a conversation filled with compassion, reflection, and hope—for anyone seeking understanding, support, or a new beginning.
Healing starts with awareness. Let this episode be a safe space to begin.
Follow Wake Up with Marci:
Instagram: [@wakeupwithmarci]
Facebook: [Wake Up with Marci]
Website: [www.wakeupwithmarci.com]
Don’t miss this insightful conversation that could change lives! Like, comment, and subscribe for more inspiring content. 💡💬
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Wake Up with Marcy, a deep dive in
self discovery. I'm your host, Marty Hopkins, and this is
the space where we get real about life, transformation and
finding our true selves. Hello, al, and welcome back to
Wake Up with Marcy, where we have real, raw conversations,
explore radical healing, and help you to wake up to
(00:25):
your worth. I'm your host, Marcy Hopkins, and today we're
diving into something that affects millions, but it's still so
often misunderstood. And that is the link between trauma and
drinking to cope. This is a deeply personal topic for me,
one that I've lived through, unraveled and healed from. And
(00:45):
I'm here today not just to educate you, but to
walk with you wherever you are on your journey. I
want to meet with you because this is not an
easy journey and it's not easy to understand. But I
want you to know first and foremost that you are
(01:06):
not alone and that your past does not define you.
And I really hope for all of you that are
listening and watching that this episode helps you on your
path to understanding how trauma has affected you and why
(01:29):
you are using alcohol to cope. So many of us
struggle with alcohol, but there is a lot of us
that just use it to relax. But for someone like
me and maybe you, we're drinking to survive, We're drinking
(01:54):
to forget. And for many, trauma is the reason we
ever picked up up whatever substance or drink that you
picked up in the first place. So let's talk about trauma.
What exactly is that that's an emotional injury from overwhelming,
(02:16):
painful experiences. So a trauma rewires the brain, especially around safety, fear,
and self worth, and alcohol or drugs often become a
way to self soothe when nothing else seems to help.
(02:38):
So for me, the first time I actually drank was
when I was twelve years old. Now I have kids
that are now nineteen and twenty two, and I can't
even imagine them drinking alcohol at the age of twelve.
But in my situation with my mother and my stepfather,
(03:03):
it was something that was normal. I even was offered
alcohol at the age of twelve and thirteen when we
went on a vacation. Now, this also was a time
when sexual abuse had started with my stepfather, So drinking
(03:24):
was so normalized for me and maybe your trauma came
later in life, and it wasn't something that you dealt
with when you were really young, but it's something that
you started using whenever in your life, that you used
(03:44):
to quiet those screams in your head, the unhealed trauma.
I used it to forget. I used it forget to
forget that childhood abuse, betrayal, to not feel safe in
my own home, and I needed something to numb that pain,
(04:10):
and throughout my life. Wasn't just when I was younger.
I used wine. I drank every single day of my
life because to me, it was just something normal that
I did. It was pushing down that pain, sedating and
(04:37):
quieting whatever it was inside of me that I didn't
want to face. Now, there were times that my drinking
looked normal, and there were times that I'm sure there
are those around me that worried about me, but it
was really hard for me to really know the difference, honestly,
because my mom was an alcoholic, and I just knew
(05:02):
that she had the bar so high of what drinking
too much look like that I thought that I was
doing pretty darn good. But there are a lot of
ways that we can look for the signs that we
are drinking for the wrong reasons. Now, obviously, if we're
(05:26):
drinking and passing out all the time, blacking out, things
are being affected in our lives, our relationships, our work,
and so on. Those are definitely big red flags. But
let's talk about drinking to cope, and this is about
drinking to avoid feelings of anxiety, shame, or painful memories.
(05:51):
This is something I did later on in my drinking.
It wasn't something I necessarily did throughout my time of drinking,
which was the majority of my life. But at the
end of my drinking around forty five forty six, I
started hiding my drinking. So if that's something maybe that
you're doing, you're hiding your drinking and you're feeling guilty
(06:12):
about it. You need alcohol to sleep, socialize, get through
the day. A lot of times we think that we're
drinking to help us to sleep. The reality is, if
you drink alcohol, it really does affect your sleep. You
(06:34):
do not get into a deep rhythm of sleeping. And
if we're not getting our sleep, it also affects how
we feel and how we react to life during the day.
And we think that we want to have that drink
of wine or whatever it is that you are drinking,
(06:58):
you can't wait to do it later on in the
day so you can just calm yourself. Or maybe you
think that drinking brings you back to life. You feel
emotionally numb without it, and you think if you drink,
that brings out who you are a good I'll never
(07:19):
forget being out and just saying, like, my husband has
no idea who I am. I'm this fun, lovable person.
But the reality was I was out drinking, way too buzzed,
going to clubs at an age that I shouldn't have been,
(07:42):
so I was acting out. My drinking wasn't normal, but
my excuse was my husband was basically no fun and
he didn't know the fun side of me. I used
to tell myself each day that I drink, it's just
a glass of wine. But then of course it becomes
(08:04):
more than one glass of wine. Okay, But being honest,
every drink I took came with the price. It took
my peace away. I wasn't being truthful in life. I
wasn't really truly feeling. I wasn't connecting with myself. I
(08:27):
was hating myself. I had shame. I had guilt for
the woman that I had become. I didn't think that
I had anything to offer. I didn't know who I was.
All I wanted was to be loved, but I didn't
know what that looked like because I hadn't been shown
(08:49):
healthy love. I had the abuse. My mother didn't take
me out of the home where I could feel I
never felt safe. Then I was in bad relationship. I
didn't allow people to treat me the way that I
should have been treated because or I didn't set my
boundaries or expect it from people because I didn't know
(09:11):
what that looked like. And it's so important to know
that once we start healing and we stop coping negatively
and telling ourselves all these lies that we do, reconnect
with ourselves and we begin to heal. So what really
(09:33):
helped me was getting real, raw and truthful. So the
first time I admitted my truth was October third, twenty fifteen.
That was the last day I drank, and I woke
up the next day. It was October fourth. I woke
(09:55):
up in so much shame, guilt, dread. The night before
I had gotten a DUI. There's a much longer story
that surrounds that, but I went to bed that victim
that I always had been. And I woke up the
next day and I finally got honest with myself and
(10:17):
surrendered to the fact that I needed help, that I
had alcohol use disorder. Okay, this is a disease of
the brain. It is a large spectrum, but there should
be no shame around it. And that's why I have
(10:40):
these conversations to break the stigma and normalize the conversation,
because we've got to get educated, every one of us
out there, whether we are dealing with it ourselves. So
we're the ones that are dealing with alcohol use disorder
or somebody else close to us. We all know someone.
(11:06):
So just think about it, how important this conversation is
and how important you are. There is something that is
wrong with you, but it's a disease, and that disease
can be healed, just like any disease. So the next
(11:29):
thing I did was I went to the twelve step program.
And let me tell you that first time I went
to the well, actually this was my second time going
into the twelve step meetings because a year prior i'd
gone in to AA, but I really wasn't ready. I
(11:49):
really didn't believe it. Yeah, I was dealing with a
lot of shame and guilt and up overnight trying to
figure out how I could healthy drink. But the reality was,
I really wasn't ready. And you've got to be really
ready to dive into a program or any way that
(12:14):
you choose to navigate your addiction. You've got to truly
be ready. So I was finally ready to surrender, to
admit that I needed help, and I was willing to
do whatever that I needed to do. So I went
(12:35):
to the twelve step meeting. And let me tell you,
before I went to that meeting, not only did I
have to get truthful with myself, but it was so
important that I got truthful with my husband. And I did,
(12:55):
and it was hard. This is not easy stuff we're
talking about. I mean, listen, I was at the bottom
of the barrel. I thought that I had no worth
in this world, even though that two magical kids, I
had a beautiful home, I had a husband living in
(13:17):
a great community. Like I was. I had a big
pity party going on around me. Okay, But when I
got honest with myself and then I got honest with
my husband, he did something that surprised me and that
I didn't think would happen. He ended up embracing me,
(13:40):
telling me that he loved me, and I felt like
the weight of the world came off my shoulders. And
maybe for you, that could be a parent or a friend,
somebody at church. But there's somebody that's waiting for you
to come to them and share with them. They're ready
(14:04):
for you to admit your truth and they're ready to
step up to help you. Now, there are many ways
that we can get help. And like I said, I
went to the twelve step program. I mean even the
first meeting I went to, after I really really got
(14:24):
raw and honest with myself, I ended up getting sick
in the bathroom. Sick in the bathroom. I mean, could
my shame and guilt get any worse? I was mortified,
But you know what, I washed my face and I
went back out there and I sat down because it
(14:45):
was time. It was I was ready, okay. And there's
going to be a lot of things that you learn
through this process that are going to help you. Now. Listen,
there are sober coaches out there, there are online meetings,
there are books you can read, there's rehab, which is
(15:08):
really important. And this is something that I want you
to really really ask yourself if you are active, how
much am I drinking? And if you are drinking morning,
day and night. Okay, if you are drinking excessively, if
(15:32):
you drink more than four to five drinks three or more,
you really need to talk to a doctor. And you
cannot detox on your own. It is so so important.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
That you go to rehab or you go where a
safe place that they can help you to detox, because
you can die if you try to do this on
your own.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Because you have to remember, your body is physically addicted
to that alcohol and doesn't think it can live without it,
so your body could shut down. So please make sure
that you talk to someone that can help you. All right,
So if you are in the twelve step meeting, they're
(16:20):
going to encourage you to get a sponsor. This is
something that's really important and can be difficult. But this
person is somebody that has gone through the program, gone
through the big Book, and they're going to help you
to go through the program and go through that big book. Okay,
So you're going to look to them as your mentor
(16:42):
and they're going to help you step by step. But
this could be a hard process to find the right
person for you. So don't feel guilty or bad if
you feel like that person's not working out for you,
because believe me, I had one sponsor and she was
so hard on me. I remember telling her like she
(17:04):
was telling me I couldn't go to a part of
my home because she said that that would be a
trigger for me. And I was telling her honestly, like,
I'm not being triggered by going in this room, okay.
And I told her because every time I would talk
to her every single day, I said, you make me
want a drink. So obviously, big red flag, right, not
(17:26):
the right sponsor for me. But there's a lot of
people in the rooms. So build a community. Maybe AA
is not for you, but find a community like minded
people that can help you go through this experience because
you're going to need the help. You're going to build
a sobriety toolbox. This consists of a ton of different
(17:49):
things that can help you when you're triggered. You want
to change people, places, and things. Meditation, gratitude box. This
is where you find things you're grateful for during the day, journaling,
a morning routine, a community. What you can do if
(18:09):
you have a craving there's many things that you will
be learning through a sobriety box, okay, creating your own
sobriety box what works for you, and also knowing that
sobriety is not the end. It is the beginning of
the most beautiful life. I promise you. I'm almost ten
years sober. October fourth, twenty twenty five. I'm ten years sober,
(18:34):
and I am living the best, most magical life. I've
healed from my trauma. I've made so many changes in
my life. I've shifted my mindset. I don't talk negatively
to myself anymore, and if I do, I know what
to do with that. I know how to respond to people.
I know how to have patience. I'm spiritually connected. Like,
there's so many beautiful things that you're going to learn,
(18:56):
because recovery doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're strong
enough to stop pretending. Stop pretending that everything's all right. Okay,
So a few tools that you can use today are
mindfulness practices to ground you in the moment. These are
(19:18):
breathing exercises. These are short meditations. I myself go on YouTube.
There's so many meditations that can help you with trauma.
Can help you to calm your nervous system that can
help you with sleep, connect to your higher power. There
are so so many different YouTube videos, meditations, all different purposes,
(19:44):
all different links. And then journaling, And I want to
offer these things to you because I myself have created
one sheets that I would love to share with you.
Journaling prompts for emotional release. These are things that are
so important for you to build and have because we
(20:07):
don't know what to write. Sometimes maybe you don't need
to know what to write. You just start writing right,
and then you're gonna need daily rituals, gratitudeless warning check ins,
breath work. Like I talked about your support groups, AA,
sober circles, online communities, talking to a professional, especially if
(20:28):
you've experienced trauma. I mean, I would say therapy is
so so vital through all of this because it's not
about just putting down the drink. It's about all the
work that goes on after it to heal, to change,
to shift how you live and how you think. So
(20:49):
I just want you to know that no one heals alone.
You deserve to be supported, seeing and heard healing as possible,
and you don't need to have it all figured out
the beginning, and you don't need to have it all
figured out to begin who does, right. So another thing
(21:13):
that we're going to have to do is talk to
our family, right, We've got to be honest, but you
could set your boundaries, okay, And if you're a family
member or a loved one that's dealing with addiction, just
know that you cannot heal them, You can't make them
get well. Just be there to support to support them.
(21:37):
And also if you're talking to a family member, explain
that you're on this healing path, right, and to be kind.
You need to be kind to yourself and you need
your family to be kind and realize also that and
this is something for those that are going through this
(21:58):
path of healing and also family members. If there's a relapse,
don't punish the person and don't punish yourself. Just start
over the next day. Start over the next day. And
if it's with kids, keep it age appropriate. If they're
really young, Mommy, daddy's sick, they need to get some help.
(22:25):
If they're older, you can begin to become more honest
with them about what's going on because they're going to
see you doing things right. Maybe you're not able to
drive them. Maybe you're passing out on the couch. Maybe
you are being very embarrassing by your actions. So just
remember children are brilliant. They see what is happening, so
(22:49):
our honesty because that scares them. Our honesty is so important.
But again, just be age appropriate and let your family
in gently, okay, because they may really surprise you. So
if you're listening to this and wondering if you drink
(23:11):
to cope, know that you're not alone and you're not broken.
You are carrying pain that deserves healing, not judgment. The
bravest thing I ever did was admit I needed help,
and the most beautiful thing that followed was finding myself,
(23:32):
finding self love, finding gratitude for life, forgiving myself and
forgiving others. So I want to thank you all so
much for joining me today. I mean, what an amazing,
amazing time with you. I feel like I'm sitting in
(23:53):
the room with you. And if this episode has resonated
with you, share it with someone you love, share it
with someone who needs it, and let's continue breaking the
stigma around addiction, trauma and healing. And if you're walking
this journey, I want to remind you that you are strong,
(24:17):
that you are beautiful, and you are capable. I wanted
to also let you know that my book Chaos to Clarity,
Seeing the Signs and Breaking the Cycles is here as
a companion to help you to see the signs, break
the cycles, and step into your worth. I share everything
I've learned through the twelve steps my trauma, how I
(24:39):
recovered my addiction, what I went through the recovery, how
I shifted my mindset. I educate you, I give you prompts,
action items. I have shared with you everything that I
believe can help you through this process until next time.
(25:01):
I want you to keep walking, keep healing, and keep
remembering that you are worth every beautiful gift this life
is capable of giving you. And I also wanted to
let you guys know that I am going to be
releasing a new book in April of twenty twenty six,
(25:25):
called Unbroken, a Companion for the first thirty days of sobriety.
So I'm here to help you. I'm here to walk
this journey with you. I'm here to listen, be kind yourself,
and let's wake up to our worth. All right, guys,
(25:48):
I'll see you next week. Have an amazing one.
Welcome to Wake Up with Marcy, a deep dive in
self discovery. I'm your host, Marty Hopkins, and this is
the space where we get real about life, transformation and
finding our true selves. Hello, al, and welcome back to
Wake Up with Marcy, where we have real, raw conversations,
explore radical healing, and help you to wake up to
(00:25):
your worth. I'm your host, Marcy Hopkins, and today we're
diving into something that affects millions, but it's still so
often misunderstood. And that is the link between trauma and
drinking to cope. This is a deeply personal topic for me,
one that I've lived through, unraveled and healed from. And
(00:45):
I'm here today not just to educate you, but to
walk with you wherever you are on your journey. I
want to meet with you because this is not an
easy journey and it's not easy to understand. But I
want you to know first and foremost that you are
(01:06):
not alone and that your past does not define you.
And I really hope for all of you that are
listening and watching that this episode helps you on your
path to understanding how trauma has affected you and why
(01:29):
you are using alcohol to cope. So many of us
struggle with alcohol, but there is a lot of us
that just use it to relax. But for someone like
me and maybe you, we're drinking to survive, We're drinking
(01:54):
to forget. And for many, trauma is the reason we
ever picked up up whatever substance or drink that you
picked up in the first place. So let's talk about trauma.
What exactly is that that's an emotional injury from overwhelming,
(02:16):
painful experiences. So a trauma rewires the brain, especially around safety, fear,
and self worth, and alcohol or drugs often become a
way to self soothe when nothing else seems to help.
(02:38):
So for me, the first time I actually drank was
when I was twelve years old. Now I have kids
that are now nineteen and twenty two, and I can't
even imagine them drinking alcohol at the age of twelve.
But in my situation with my mother and my stepfather,
(03:03):
it was something that was normal. I even was offered
alcohol at the age of twelve and thirteen when we
went on a vacation. Now, this also was a time
when sexual abuse had started with my stepfather, So drinking
(03:24):
was so normalized for me and maybe your trauma came
later in life, and it wasn't something that you dealt
with when you were really young, but it's something that
you started using whenever in your life, that you used
(03:44):
to quiet those screams in your head, the unhealed trauma.
I used it to forget. I used it forget to
forget that childhood abuse, betrayal, to not feel safe in
my own home, and I needed something to numb that pain,
(04:10):
and throughout my life. Wasn't just when I was younger.
I used wine. I drank every single day of my
life because to me, it was just something normal that
I did. It was pushing down that pain, sedating and
(04:37):
quieting whatever it was inside of me that I didn't
want to face. Now, there were times that my drinking
looked normal, and there were times that I'm sure there
are those around me that worried about me, but it
was really hard for me to really know the difference, honestly,
because my mom was an alcoholic, and I just knew
(05:02):
that she had the bar so high of what drinking
too much look like that I thought that I was
doing pretty darn good. But there are a lot of
ways that we can look for the signs that we
are drinking for the wrong reasons. Now, obviously, if we're
(05:26):
drinking and passing out all the time, blacking out, things
are being affected in our lives, our relationships, our work,
and so on. Those are definitely big red flags. But
let's talk about drinking to cope, and this is about
drinking to avoid feelings of anxiety, shame, or painful memories.
(05:51):
This is something I did later on in my drinking.
It wasn't something I necessarily did throughout my time of drinking,
which was the majority of my life. But at the
end of my drinking around forty five forty six, I
started hiding my drinking. So if that's something maybe that
you're doing, you're hiding your drinking and you're feeling guilty
(06:12):
about it. You need alcohol to sleep, socialize, get through
the day. A lot of times we think that we're
drinking to help us to sleep. The reality is, if
you drink alcohol, it really does affect your sleep. You
(06:34):
do not get into a deep rhythm of sleeping. And
if we're not getting our sleep, it also affects how
we feel and how we react to life during the day.
And we think that we want to have that drink
of wine or whatever it is that you are drinking,
(06:58):
you can't wait to do it later on in the
day so you can just calm yourself. Or maybe you
think that drinking brings you back to life. You feel
emotionally numb without it, and you think if you drink,
that brings out who you are a good I'll never
(07:19):
forget being out and just saying, like, my husband has
no idea who I am. I'm this fun, lovable person.
But the reality was I was out drinking, way too buzzed,
going to clubs at an age that I shouldn't have been,
(07:42):
so I was acting out. My drinking wasn't normal, but
my excuse was my husband was basically no fun and
he didn't know the fun side of me. I used
to tell myself each day that I drink, it's just
a glass of wine. But then of course it becomes
(08:04):
more than one glass of wine. Okay, But being honest,
every drink I took came with the price. It took
my peace away. I wasn't being truthful in life. I
wasn't really truly feeling. I wasn't connecting with myself. I
(08:27):
was hating myself. I had shame. I had guilt for
the woman that I had become. I didn't think that
I had anything to offer. I didn't know who I was.
All I wanted was to be loved, but I didn't
know what that looked like because I hadn't been shown
(08:49):
healthy love. I had the abuse. My mother didn't take
me out of the home where I could feel I
never felt safe. Then I was in bad relationship. I
didn't allow people to treat me the way that I
should have been treated because or I didn't set my
boundaries or expect it from people because I didn't know
(09:11):
what that looked like. And it's so important to know
that once we start healing and we stop coping negatively
and telling ourselves all these lies that we do, reconnect
with ourselves and we begin to heal. So what really
(09:33):
helped me was getting real, raw and truthful. So the
first time I admitted my truth was October third, twenty fifteen.
That was the last day I drank, and I woke
up the next day. It was October fourth. I woke
(09:55):
up in so much shame, guilt, dread. The night before
I had gotten a DUI. There's a much longer story
that surrounds that, but I went to bed that victim
that I always had been. And I woke up the
next day and I finally got honest with myself and
(10:17):
surrendered to the fact that I needed help, that I
had alcohol use disorder. Okay, this is a disease of
the brain. It is a large spectrum, but there should
be no shame around it. And that's why I have
(10:40):
these conversations to break the stigma and normalize the conversation,
because we've got to get educated, every one of us
out there, whether we are dealing with it ourselves. So
we're the ones that are dealing with alcohol use disorder
or somebody else close to us. We all know someone.
(11:06):
So just think about it, how important this conversation is
and how important you are. There is something that is
wrong with you, but it's a disease, and that disease
can be healed, just like any disease. So the next
(11:29):
thing I did was I went to the twelve step program.
And let me tell you that first time I went
to the well, actually this was my second time going
into the twelve step meetings because a year prior i'd
gone in to AA, but I really wasn't ready. I
(11:49):
really didn't believe it. Yeah, I was dealing with a
lot of shame and guilt and up overnight trying to
figure out how I could healthy drink. But the reality was,
I really wasn't ready. And you've got to be really
ready to dive into a program or any way that
(12:14):
you choose to navigate your addiction. You've got to truly
be ready. So I was finally ready to surrender, to
admit that I needed help, and I was willing to
do whatever that I needed to do. So I went
(12:35):
to the twelve step meeting. And let me tell you,
before I went to that meeting, not only did I
have to get truthful with myself, but it was so
important that I got truthful with my husband. And I did,
(12:55):
and it was hard. This is not easy stuff we're
talking about. I mean, listen, I was at the bottom
of the barrel. I thought that I had no worth
in this world, even though that two magical kids, I
had a beautiful home, I had a husband living in
(13:17):
a great community. Like I was. I had a big
pity party going on around me. Okay, But when I
got honest with myself and then I got honest with
my husband, he did something that surprised me and that
I didn't think would happen. He ended up embracing me,
(13:40):
telling me that he loved me, and I felt like
the weight of the world came off my shoulders. And
maybe for you, that could be a parent or a friend,
somebody at church. But there's somebody that's waiting for you
to come to them and share with them. They're ready
(14:04):
for you to admit your truth and they're ready to
step up to help you. Now, there are many ways
that we can get help. And like I said, I
went to the twelve step program. I mean even the
first meeting I went to, after I really really got
(14:24):
raw and honest with myself, I ended up getting sick
in the bathroom. Sick in the bathroom. I mean, could
my shame and guilt get any worse? I was mortified,
But you know what, I washed my face and I
went back out there and I sat down because it
(14:45):
was time. It was I was ready, okay. And there's
going to be a lot of things that you learn
through this process that are going to help you. Now. Listen,
there are sober coaches out there, there are online meetings,
there are books you can read, there's rehab, which is
(15:08):
really important. And this is something that I want you
to really really ask yourself if you are active, how
much am I drinking? And if you are drinking morning,
day and night. Okay, if you are drinking excessively, if
(15:32):
you drink more than four to five drinks three or more,
you really need to talk to a doctor. And you
cannot detox on your own. It is so so important.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
That you go to rehab or you go where a
safe place that they can help you to detox, because
you can die if you try to do this on
your own.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Because you have to remember, your body is physically addicted
to that alcohol and doesn't think it can live without it,
so your body could shut down. So please make sure
that you talk to someone that can help you. All right,
So if you are in the twelve step meeting, they're
(16:20):
going to encourage you to get a sponsor. This is
something that's really important and can be difficult. But this
person is somebody that has gone through the program, gone
through the big Book, and they're going to help you
to go through the program and go through that big book. Okay,
So you're going to look to them as your mentor
(16:42):
and they're going to help you step by step. But
this could be a hard process to find the right
person for you. So don't feel guilty or bad if
you feel like that person's not working out for you,
because believe me, I had one sponsor and she was
so hard on me. I remember telling her like she
(17:04):
was telling me I couldn't go to a part of
my home because she said that that would be a
trigger for me. And I was telling her honestly, like,
I'm not being triggered by going in this room, okay.
And I told her because every time I would talk
to her every single day, I said, you make me
want a drink. So obviously, big red flag, right, not
(17:26):
the right sponsor for me. But there's a lot of
people in the rooms. So build a community. Maybe AA
is not for you, but find a community like minded
people that can help you go through this experience because
you're going to need the help. You're going to build
a sobriety toolbox. This consists of a ton of different
(17:49):
things that can help you when you're triggered. You want
to change people, places, and things. Meditation, gratitude box. This
is where you find things you're grateful for during the day, journaling,
a morning routine, a community. What you can do if
(18:09):
you have a craving there's many things that you will
be learning through a sobriety box, okay, creating your own
sobriety box what works for you, and also knowing that
sobriety is not the end. It is the beginning of
the most beautiful life. I promise you. I'm almost ten
years sober. October fourth, twenty twenty five. I'm ten years sober,
(18:34):
and I am living the best, most magical life. I've
healed from my trauma. I've made so many changes in
my life. I've shifted my mindset. I don't talk negatively
to myself anymore, and if I do, I know what
to do with that. I know how to respond to people.
I know how to have patience. I'm spiritually connected. Like,
there's so many beautiful things that you're going to learn,
(18:56):
because recovery doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're strong
enough to stop pretending. Stop pretending that everything's all right. Okay,
So a few tools that you can use today are
mindfulness practices to ground you in the moment. These are
(19:18):
breathing exercises. These are short meditations. I myself go on YouTube.
There's so many meditations that can help you with trauma.
Can help you to calm your nervous system that can
help you with sleep, connect to your higher power. There
are so so many different YouTube videos, meditations, all different purposes,
(19:44):
all different links. And then journaling, And I want to
offer these things to you because I myself have created
one sheets that I would love to share with you.
Journaling prompts for emotional release. These are things that are
so important for you to build and have because we
(20:07):
don't know what to write. Sometimes maybe you don't need
to know what to write. You just start writing right,
and then you're gonna need daily rituals, gratitudeless warning check ins,
breath work. Like I talked about your support groups, AA,
sober circles, online communities, talking to a professional, especially if
(20:28):
you've experienced trauma. I mean, I would say therapy is
so so vital through all of this because it's not
about just putting down the drink. It's about all the
work that goes on after it to heal, to change,
to shift how you live and how you think. So
(20:49):
I just want you to know that no one heals alone.
You deserve to be supported, seeing and heard healing as possible,
and you don't need to have it all figured out
the beginning, and you don't need to have it all
figured out to begin who does, right. So another thing
(21:13):
that we're going to have to do is talk to
our family, right, We've got to be honest, but you
could set your boundaries, okay, And if you're a family
member or a loved one that's dealing with addiction, just
know that you cannot heal them, You can't make them
get well. Just be there to support to support them.
(21:37):
And also if you're talking to a family member, explain
that you're on this healing path, right, and to be kind.
You need to be kind to yourself and you need
your family to be kind and realize also that and
this is something for those that are going through this
(21:58):
path of healing and also family members. If there's a relapse,
don't punish the person and don't punish yourself. Just start
over the next day. Start over the next day. And
if it's with kids, keep it age appropriate. If they're
really young, Mommy, daddy's sick, they need to get some help.
(22:25):
If they're older, you can begin to become more honest
with them about what's going on because they're going to
see you doing things right. Maybe you're not able to
drive them. Maybe you're passing out on the couch. Maybe
you are being very embarrassing by your actions. So just
remember children are brilliant. They see what is happening, so
(22:49):
our honesty because that scares them. Our honesty is so important.
But again, just be age appropriate and let your family
in gently, okay, because they may really surprise you. So
if you're listening to this and wondering if you drink
(23:11):
to cope, know that you're not alone and you're not broken.
You are carrying pain that deserves healing, not judgment. The
bravest thing I ever did was admit I needed help,
and the most beautiful thing that followed was finding myself,
(23:32):
finding self love, finding gratitude for life, forgiving myself and
forgiving others. So I want to thank you all so
much for joining me today. I mean, what an amazing,
amazing time with you. I feel like I'm sitting in
(23:53):
the room with you. And if this episode has resonated
with you, share it with someone you love, share it
with someone who needs it, and let's continue breaking the
stigma around addiction, trauma and healing. And if you're walking
this journey, I want to remind you that you are strong,
(24:17):
that you are beautiful, and you are capable. I wanted
to also let you know that my book Chaos to Clarity,
Seeing the Signs and Breaking the Cycles is here as
a companion to help you to see the signs, break
the cycles, and step into your worth. I share everything
I've learned through the twelve steps my trauma, how I
(24:39):
recovered my addiction, what I went through the recovery, how
I shifted my mindset. I educate you, I give you prompts,
action items. I have shared with you everything that I
believe can help you through this process until next time.
(25:01):
I want you to keep walking, keep healing, and keep
remembering that you are worth every beautiful gift this life
is capable of giving you. And I also wanted to
let you guys know that I am going to be
releasing a new book in April of twenty twenty six,
(25:25):
called Unbroken, a Companion for the first thirty days of sobriety.
So I'm here to help you. I'm here to walk
this journey with you. I'm here to listen, be kind yourself,
and let's wake up to our worth. All right, guys,
(25:48):
I'll see you next week. Have an amazing one.
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