May 5, 2025 • 50 mins
In this episode of Whyte Noise, Michael, Ryan, and guest Jordan swap stories about cultural misunderstandings, rooftop mysteries, and the challenges of urban living. The conversation then shifts to Kundalini yoga, exploring its history, risks, and potential for emotional and spiritual transformation, while reflecting on mindfulness, self-awareness, and the beauty of everyday moments.
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Connect with Us: Michael Judson Berry | Ryan Wilder
Theme: “Happy Dance” by Mr. Smith is licensed under Attribution 4.0 International License. “Running Fanfare” by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under Attribution 3.0 Unported.
Subscribe and Watch on YouTube
Connect with Us: Michael Judson Berry | Ryan Wilder
Theme: “Happy Dance” by Mr. Smith is licensed under Attribution 4.0 International License. “Running Fanfare” by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under Attribution 3.0 Unported.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Fun fact, Cundalini is also a Northern Italian pasta that
is served in a very rich tomato sauce. It was
pasta and I'm going to talk about that now. I'm kidding,
it's not real. That's selfy.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
My first thought it was it does sound delicious, doesn't it.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Oh Somewhere, some very very particular Kundalini practitioner is like you.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
And because they're connected to dinner so in tune with universe,
they heard you that.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Hello, welcome back.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Welcome back to White Noise today.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Guess what we have with us are one of our
universally loved guests back again, Jordan, Welcome back.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Now that's horny.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
So before we just hit records. So we jumped on Riverside,
which is what we record on, and we've just been
catching up because I haven't seen Jordan in a minute
and she's one of my favorite people, and we're just
chatting and we were like, wait, why aren't we recording?
Everything you say is gold? But I just I just
learned something about myself, which is, Jordan, you are a
much better gay man than I will ever be.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
I get that a lot.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Ryan was talking about his perfect morning and you said
that is horny, and I thought you meant to say
that is morning.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
No, I said that's horny. And why I realize and
Ryan and I have discussed this that I spend the
majority of my time around gay men, gay women, my
queer self, and drag queens. So my verbiage that I
use is often shaped by that. And but what I
do for a living, I spend a lot of time
with in no negative way, straight white women, and I'll
(01:41):
say things like oh wow, that's horny and they look
at me like what, and I'm like, oh, yeah, they
know that's really nice. Love that for you. But I
forget sometimes where I am where I'm like, okay, don't
come off, and they look at me like okay, I
love this. Last night I said to Rick we were
we were watching something last night. I was like, it's
crazy to me how many times I say I have
to beat my face and women at the club look
(02:03):
at me like what, and I'm like, makeup. I have
to do a full face and makeup okay, And then
they're like oh. I'm like yeah, like I gotta get
out of here. I have to do a full beat
before I go to dinner.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
And they're like, you have to eat a beat? Are
you worried about digestion?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
I have to put eyeliner on and they're like, oh,
oh got it, And I'm like, right, I forget where
I am sometimes where I'm.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Like, now I'm picturing some like wealthy white women from
you know, a suburb, being like I have to beat
my face and just standing there putting on makeup and
then slowly just punching her face, being like this must
be what Jordan does to look so good.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
I feel like using it awkward and be like, honey,
do you do you like my beat?
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (02:40):
And I say that really it would sound different.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Or alternatively, you know, a husband, girls, something wonderful in
the grill, brings an insects it on the table. Rich
white woman goes, oh, that's horny, and then suddenly he's
got all the wrong signals and he's like, oh really, really.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
We're gonna we haven't had sex since July.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Yeah, Phil's getting some like rick.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
We'll say it. We'll be watching something and it'll be like, oh, Hoarantina,
and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
I know, quarantina is that a thing? I've never heard horantina?
Speaker 3 (03:14):
But it like okay, like right now, this. Horntina Aguilera,
Quarantina Aguilera.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I can't wait to go to work on Monday.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
You're getting a little crazy. You've had too much drink
your Turantina Aguilera. Uh yeah, make it work for you.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Wow, this is amazing. I didn't realize I knew I
lived under a rock. I didn't realize how big that
rock was until just now.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
What was the Jordan? What was the one we were
running around with? My uh? Did we have izzy to everything?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
It would be bussy, my bob, Bussy.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Can you bring me that coffee please?
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Yeh yeah, horn to see, Horn to see.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I don't know why, but bussy though, that makes me
sound a lot of like, oh, honey, I went to
the pola. I got above boys. It's very nice. It
accentuates my cheek bones, that's what That's what Dorrin told me.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
It's always Dorin.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Something like that. Yeah, I don't know what. Something like
this just makes me think. I'm watching The Sopranos for
the first time. And one of my favorite moments is
I think it was somewhere in season two where Tony
gets into bed and he's obviously cheating on Carmela because
he is the whole time, but it's it's during the
whole section of the show where she just wants to
have sex. It was season two and they didn't know
(04:35):
what to do with her, yes, and so the whole
storyline is just I'm not getting enough and you can't.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Get rid of it.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Because you need because she's the greatest thing on two legs.
And so Tony comes home late from his mistress, gets
into bed and Carmela's dead asleep but in full face,
beat full asleep. He gets into bed and then she
wakes up, rolls over, it just goes ya want sex,
and like in that voice.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
That sounded like the lowest from family guy.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Yeah, and he just goes na. She goes He's like,
I'm tired, Comella, and she's like okay and just rolls
over and goes back to sleep. And now ever since then,
like I literally I'll just be with people like I'll
be with Brian with my boyfriend just turn to be like, yeah,
aunt sex. Like in the least sexy moments ever, we're
watching like a really sad episode of a TV show,
(05:25):
And I don't know why that's the person who would
be like that's Tawny, Yes, but like not.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Uh huh, and I'm going to use that and not
explain the context to Rick at all and just.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Sex, yeam aunt sex. And so we have other friends
who said they do it the same thing. So and
this is I finally only just learned what Bratt was.
So now just in time to figure out Bratt. And
it's any No, it's.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Never it's never over.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Are we moving into another Brat summer?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
If I have my way, great, by way, I'm gonna
need a Brat summer.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
I know, I feel like I literally was like, I
don't think Brian rem what I look like.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Well I do now, thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
It's been too long.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Like wonder with James whatever. That was like two weeks ago,
and I was like this is ridiculous, And of course
James was like, oh, get fucked, like we're trying to
do this, like I love you too, yeah, and he was.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Like, I know you. I'm up here like laying fucking
hardwood floor and you're sending me pictures of eating delicious
pizza in downtown Asbury Park.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
You were sanding something and you sent the picture and
you were covered in white dust.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Oh that's right, drywall I was doing.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Drywall was that drywall or a were you just having
a really wild weekend?
Speaker 1 (06:36):
It was cocaine.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Well knew it.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
It was a lot. It was. It was also like
a Wednesday night, which is not helpful at all either.
It's like a Wednesday at ten pm. We're drinking espresso
Martini's and Ryan is laying pipe.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
I wish I was laying pipe. I do love this
idea that maybe I'm the most ineffective cocaine snorter in
the world. I just don't know how to use it.
So I just like throw it on. I'm just like,
you just throw it on your face?
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Does it work?
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Like?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
This?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Is this? It did?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
I cocaine?
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Right, I'm not really energy?
Speaker 2 (07:09):
All right? Should we get to the reason I could
do this with you think?
Speaker 3 (07:12):
So?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Can this podcast just be like catching up with Jordian?
Speaker 3 (07:17):
You're you're gonna be down here in the summer.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
No, Michael, I thought you'd already moved into jordan Shed.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Right, Uh not yet? Oh, although I probably should. I
may have a tenant for you. So my neighbor, this
is a story. I live. My apartment in Jersey City's
on the top floor of like a really old brownstone. Right,
we have really cool high ceiling silts. It's love Like
my neighbor across the hall, he was like, have you
(07:44):
ever been up on the roof? And we have like
this rickedy old ladder right outside our doors up to
one of those little like hatch things to the roof,
and I was like, no, I didn't think we could
go up there. It's clearly not a roof that like
I've seen it from the street, like it doesn't look
like a roof you hang out on. And he was like, no,
it's actually pretty nice. Although I've been hearing some we
things recently, so like be careful. And the other night
I was here and I was like, well, let me
(08:05):
just it's a beautiful night. I've been in the office
all day. Let me go like get some fresh air
and check out the roof. And I climb up the
wriggedy thing. The first thing I opened the hatch and
there's just a sneaker, just a lone sneaker. And it's
also eleven thirty at night and there's just a sneaker
in front of the little hatch thing, and I was like,
that's weird. And it's a new looking sneaker. I was like,
why does this look like something out of like Law
and Order. Yeah, And I keep climbing out and I
(08:28):
see another pile of just like shoes, like kind of
beat up shoes and some new shoes, and it's just like,
what's happening up here? And this is where like all
the brownstuts are about the same Uh, they're all the
same floor, so it's like everyone sort of spread across
like the rooftop and Mary Pace. You can walk across rooftops, yeah,
and none of them have railings or anything, like you
(08:48):
really shouldn't be up there, but like, but it's fine.
And I lookin there's a sleeping bag sort of balled up,
and then like a busted old suitcase with clothes on it.
And I was like, oh, someone's fully like living up here.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
You can get up there without going in the building.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
I don't know, because ours like our little hatch to
the roof, like you can only open from the inside,
and it was locked when I went up, so there
must be. But like all the roofs are connected, so
who knows. And I was like, oh, fuck, somebody is
living up here and boarding shoes, questioned Mark. But I
was like, and I look around and I'm like, well,
it's a nice night. I'm just gonna sit here. And
I walk kind of towards the edge and I'm like
(09:25):
looking out towards the city. And then I just hear
this trickling of water and I was like, what's going on?
And then this guy, this huge dude, just like steps
out from behind a chimney and I just see the
silhouette and it was literally I almost it.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Was the scariest thing.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
I was like, and he just stood there and just
stared at me and was just like okay. And I
was like, and there's no guy. I was like, well,
this is how I die. And luckily like he starts
to walk towards me and walks between me and the hatch,
and I was just like standing stone, just sort of
awkwardly waved. I was like hi. And he picks up
the loane sneaker and then walks around to the back
(10:04):
edge and just throws it over the back and then
walks back to the pile of shoes and just one
by one picks up a shoe, walks over and just
throws it over the edge. And I was like, okay,
and what time you walk back over the edge. I
think this is where I got off the roof. I
don't think I need to be up here with a
crazy man throwing shoes, but like, so, apparently there's a
man who lives on my roof who hoards shoes so
(10:26):
he can throw them into the back which the where
he was throwing them was like the backwork area for
a Greek restaurant. So I wonder if they come out
in the morning and they're like, why are all these
shoes back here?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
I have so many questions for this guy, right yeah,
but then part of me, I was like I should
call the police, but then pardon me, felt bad because
I was like, this is where he lives, and maybe
he's nowhere else to go.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
And honestly, who's he harming up there? Yeah, he's going
to do is a peekin through my skylights? And like,
I mean, I don't care. Bring it on, ye, I mean,
you're welcome to the show. It's not particularly exciting, it's it's.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Wow. I also want to know the lord or like
did he work at the restaurant and get fired? Did
someone pins him off at the restaurant? Is he after
a target specifically? Is he just trying to confuse them,
because that's tea to just be like where are these
shoes coming from?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Every day I'm gonna be asked with you. I think
I want to get at the bass story, like why
are you on the roof.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
This roof with.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
These shoes and that Greek restaurant?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
These Jordans make me horny?
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Those are horny shoes.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I didn't even use it right, and I tried. That
was terrible. I'm a failure.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
No, just a cocaine. But it's fine. Okay, So Ryan,
what are we talking about? What are we actually talking
about today?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
We're talking about Condellini?
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Oh my goodness. Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I was like, I was like waiting for the Jordan reaction.
I was like, if she doesn't react, we have a problem.
Not really, but so we were like, apparently there's a
very strong tie end to Kundalini and yoga and cundalini
practice within yoga.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
It's a very particular lineage of yoga.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Yeah, because I took a bunch of screenshots of things
that pertain to yoga. So if you were about to
say no, I was like, well, so Jordan, who's going first?
Speaker 3 (12:24):
I think Michael should go first?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Okay, great, sweet, all right, ready, set go Okay. Also,
I love Ryan that you said Cundalini instead of cooned.
I think it's Coondalini. But it really makes me happy
that you lean into the Cundalini of it all.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Like cunt Sorry, oh Am, I allowed to say that word.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Codlini is the divine feminine, so makes sense.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I was gonna say. Cundalini. Feels like a really proper
Freudian slipped with this. So I learned, so Jordan, And
this is where I'm so glad we have you, because
I feel like I learned a lot and yet I
understand nothing. And that to me also feels in keeping
with a little bit of a Kundalinie thing. It feels
like one of the It feels like a great mystical
concept that is much greater than ourselves. Because, for example,
(13:11):
like I ended up watching a lot of videos with
these sort of yoga energy masters from India, which mostly
were a bunch of old men. Was men with really
big beards talking about the power of Kundalini and how
it's beyond what a lot of us can comprehend. And
let me just start with one guy said he was
like the average person we all have. He said, one
(13:34):
hundred and fourteen chakras, which I thought we only had
what is this one, two, three, four, five s? Except yes,
oh thank you seven chakras. He said, they're one hundred
and fourteen. But the average person lives their life only
using twenty one. Yeah, and you only use twenty one
to sort of just like get from A to B
through life. So I was just like, oh damn well,
and he was like, somebody who achieves full Kundalini accesses
(13:57):
all one hundred and fourteen, and I was like, WHOA, Okay.
So in basic it's it's activating all of your chakras, right,
beginning at the base of your spine, your absolute base,
and working all activating all the way through to the top.
And that is the feminine power, right, And it's like
in pictures imagery, it's done with a snake, right, it's
a surpent entergy.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
It's like serpentine energy that starts at your pelvis.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
And yeah, which I think is interesting because so I
learned that this practice goes back thousands upon thousands of years,
like predates writing basically, like the first time I was
written down was like nine hundred BCE or something like that,
and then it was incorporated into yoga practices once they
finally were like, this is what yoga once they finally
(14:41):
defined it, which I think is just so fascinating because
then it's interesting that like that the image is of
a serpent time think going up the back of your spine.
That Christianity then is like the serpent and eve. Like
I was like, oh, so again, Christianity is nothing original,
Like this idea of a connection between the fe male
power and a snake has been around for centuries, and religious.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
People will still say that any yoga practice is of
the devil.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Yeah, and that's and but I was like, but they
made it bad, yeah, which I think is interesting that
for this it's like it's literally achieving the highest power
of awareness and self.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Yep of self, and.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
It's an inherently feminine power, which makes total sense because
life comes from women.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Is that the delta between, that's the delta between. Like
Christians don't believe you're self empowered. They believe you're empowered
by God. So this is true.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
So if they see something like that, they have to
make it bad. Yeah, because this is the idea that
like it all comes from within, yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
And that's any yoga practice, not just kundalini. That's why
they hate. Often people who are super devout will say
that if you practice yoga, you're basically not giving yourself
up to what will be and like forcing control. Oh,
because it's self, you know. Yeah, like you said, Ryan,
you're supposed to give yourself up to God and like
let this being make all the choices. Where yoga is,
(16:03):
like you said, Michael, it's one hundred percent the deepest,
strongest awareness that you could possibly have internally and externally.
That's nirvana, right, It's that full awardess of self.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
But I was so excited about this, and one video
I watched one particular old man he broke it down
this really great way where he started out by saying
he was like, so on a really basic term of
kundalini to sort of like give your frame of mind.
And he's like, this is the most basic version. Imagine
just like a truck driver and his job is he
just like drives, and if his whole life is very boring,
(16:36):
if he just sits and when he drives, he doesn't
take anything in. He just drives the truck. He eats,
he sleeps, he gets up, he drives and that's his
basic life and that's what he goes through life. And
he was like, the Kundalini version is somebody who sees
everything while he drives and appreciates everything along the drive
while he goes through his life. Yeah, And I was like,
well that's interesting, and he was like, basically, that's the
(16:58):
most basic explanation. And then he broke down the seven
chakras of like going through and how each one you
sort of have a choice between like a positive and
a negative feeling, and the Kundalini version is taking in
the positive version but not overdoing it. So like when
you got to the pelvic one, he was like somebody
who embraces sex and creativity, but like somebody who over
(17:19):
does it, then it knocks you back. But I love
that this idea of all of them were basically just
driven by positivity, creativity, and joy and gratitude, but also
embracing the sad things. Like when he got to the
throat chakra, he was like, Kundalini, when your throat chokes,
but he was like, it chokes when you feel gratitude
because you're excited, but also when you feel sadness. And
(17:41):
he was a Kundalini is also enjoying the sadness and
allowing that to flow through your body. So he's like,
it's not all happy, positive all the time. Sometimes it's
fully just expressing the yeah and expressing just the authenticity
of it, because you can't move on to the next
level unless you acknowledge those feelings. And he was like,
in gratitude and sadness, you have the same physical reaction,
but you can choose to sit in one or the other,
(18:04):
which I thought was very interesting. He was like, so
much of Kundalini is choosing yeah, to feel the positive
side of something. He was like, like example, the stomach one.
He was like, when you feel anger and jealousy, you
feel it in your stomach, but also when you feel joy,
you feel it in your stomach, or like your forehead.
He was like, when you feel like creative energy, it's
in your friend, but also when you feel anger, it's
(18:25):
in your forehead. And which one do you choose? You
have to acknowledge both, but you can't move to the
next one until you choose the more positive side. And
it was just it was really beautiful. But then I
watched this more intense guy who was like Kundalini yoga
specifically is the most powerful yoga. It's also the most
dangerous yoga because it's the most potent yoga. And he
(18:46):
was like, do not try it one hundred like that. Oh,
and he was like, do not try it unless you
are ready. And it was sort of the epitome of
like nothing comes unless you are ready, and he will.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Feel it and never come back to they if that's
their first ever yoga class, they'll like I've met so
many people have been like I tried yoga years ago
and I'm like, oh, what did you do? And they're
like I went to a kundalina and I'm like, soop,
right there, try again and go to Berdolini, du vinyasa,
do hatta, do something else.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
And the way he described it was like doing shrooms,
though he was like you can't. He was like, doing
kundalini is like starting the alphabet at Z and like
and he was talking about how it's it's this incredible
great awareness, but it's also really dangerous because you're accessing
so much of you and you're tapping into the universe
in such a great way that like you could really
screw yourself up if you don't have the proper guide,
(19:37):
and I was like, the whole way he was describing,
I was like, this is the way people who do
drugs talk about, like doing shrooms for the first time
or any kind of hallucinogen. If you don't have the
proper guide and you it can be like a really
upsetting trip where you can be head based.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Yeah, it can be. It's also physically one of the
most demanding styles of yoga.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Interesting.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Yeah, But the people who have done it, who have
reached it, it's it's amazing because like there's one quote
somebody who's like, uh, what is kundalin If you like,
it awakens you, it feels like a wave of bliss
that sweeps through your entire being, a warm current flowing
through your spine. It's a gentle breeze blowing on your forehead.
It's just like the people who have achieved it, it
(20:19):
feels like this incredible. Like somebody said their shakrad they
felt like their entire body was blooming with glory, and
it's just like, if you can achieve this, this sounds
pretty spectacular.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Have you ever So I've done kundalini multiple multiple times.
It's I will say I don't know. I don't know
if we have any yoga experts listening to this podcast,
or you know, if it's like Instagram where people are
gonna lose their shit on me in a second. But
it's not my favorite style of yoga.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Okay, well, I mean that's okay.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
But listen, people lose their mind and are like, you're
not doing really, and I'm like, okay, okay. I've been
teaching yoga for over a decade and I've been practicing
for over two decades. So the thing that people, you know,
don't really understand about a physical like asana, which is
the posture, is that there's tons of lineages, meaning variations
(21:16):
of style of yoga. So Kundalini is a very particular one.
And you're very right. You need a teacher. You shouldn't
just go to a Kundalini class just because like you're
on vacation and you saw it's on the schedule. Get
a teacher. And I'm talking get a teacher, like work
through it.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
I'm intrigued by, like, what is the experience somebody's having
if they're just dropping into a Kundelini class and don't
like what? In other words, what's happening that's creating that polarization.
I'm just kind of interested the movement.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
So they have what's called koreas, which are sequences of movement.
And when we think of a sequence in a yoga class,
it's like, you know, updog to down dog to whatever.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Oh, that's ten minutes already, I just keep going.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
It's fine, it's uh, you know. So that is I
think what people have in their brain or like what
they see and like westernized yoga, say like on Instagram
or TikTok or like on a Lulu Lemon commercial or
something like that. Kundalini has these kreas that you're given
and you do that awaken that energy. So instead of
like updog to down dog, it can look like standing
(22:14):
in the middle of the room, taking your arms out
like a tee and like swinging to smack your arms
to your chest and back and that awakens the energy.
So imagine you're on vacation, You're like, I'm gonna go
get myself a nice deep stretch today, and you go
in and the first thing the teacher makes you do
is stand up, start swinging around and also doing heavy
breathwork where you're like ha, So like you can throw
(22:37):
people off. So rather than like like sitting and folding
forward to get a deep stretch, it's vibrational. So it's
the sound healing. It's the breath work. And often people
who aren't guided properly, they feel dizzy or a little
fuzzy because the breath work and the movement together physically
is blood flow and oxygen flow, you know, And it's like,
(22:59):
you know, if you've ever like hit a bong for
the first time and you think you're hot, you know,
and you take that really big hit and then you
pass out. Your your body is not used to that
that energy shift inside, so it can feel very like whoa.
But if you have training and you're working up to it,
that sensation and what you build internally energetically can feel
(23:21):
euphoric once.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
You have an act. That's what a lot of people said.
It's like a euphoric feeling. And I read some things
where they equated it to like sexual feelings and like
tantric experiences, but it sounds like it's way beyond sex.
It's like more of the emotion. Like when you orgasm,
you have an emotional reaction, you know, because you have
a physical reaction but like it sounds like it's that's
probably why people equatics. It's like the closest thing they
can think of.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
It is, and it's very and lots of lots of
men practice it. But it is that divine, feminine and
building up that you know, serpentine energy from the base
of your pelviss And of course it's understood that the
pelvis is a very sexual area of the body and
that energy that moves through And there's also a lot
of not every Like one of my mentors is a
Kundalini teacher, and I love her because she's not. My
(24:08):
first experience with Cundelini was years and years ago, and
it was everybody was dressed in white. Everybody had the
big white wrap around their head. They were carrying around
crystals and I'm not talking like decoration in their house,
like holding them and putting them in front of their
mat when they came in and there I was and
like a pair of Lulu leggings and a sports bra, like.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Uh huh, what is And it was at you.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
It was a sound bath that was at my studio.
But the girl that did the sound bath brought like
her whole squad and they were all Kundelini people, and
I was like, I don't know what I'm getting into,
but I love my mentor because she is a devout
Kundalini practitioner, but she's a normal and I mean that
with respect. She's just a normal woman.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
All Right, Ryan, Now that I've taken half an hour,
are you are you ready?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
I think I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Okay, great, I'm I'm going to do a timer. I'm
not sure why, but look and go.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
So fun fact, Kundolini is also a Northern Italian pasta
that is served in a very rich tomato sauce pasta.
And I'm going to talk about that now. I'm kidding.
It's not real. That's selfy.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
My first thought it was it does sound delicious, doesn't it.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Oh Somewhere, some very very particular Kundalini practitioner is like, and.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Because they're connected to do so in tune with the universe, they.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Heard you that. Yeah, they just broke time continuum.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
They're going to find Jordan.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I'm the channel, so.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
I'm going to try and breeze through some of the
things that you touched on, Michael, Like it stands for
coiled one. Imagine a serpent at the base of your spine,
awakening your kundalini come can come through meditation, breath work, chanting,
yoga postures. And I also like the highlight that it
can happen accidentally through life chaos and the way it
(26:22):
was described in terms of my research is imagine an
energy uncoils and rockets up your spine through your chakras,
unlocking them ultimately kind of culminating at your crown chakra
where you have enlightenment, cosmic union and kind of universal love.
And I like the fact that it kind of talks.
I mean, that sounds very pretty right, but it can
(26:44):
also be extremely messy.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
It's pretty violent.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Yeah, yeah, it can be like like, wow, what the
fuck is going on? Yeah, that's horny, n horny. So
I decided to look into a little bit of the
science behind it, or what science is there. And I
(27:07):
will say that in terms of modern science, there is
more curiosity towards the mind and body connection. There is
deeper exploration of spiritual emergence therapy. It's like a growing
focal point. And there is as we know just through
like research of various psychedelics and acceptance of altered states
as a place of possible healing, and we're also starting
(27:31):
to do because you know, the technology is there is
to study the brain and connection with let's call it
mental altered states, and Kindlini being one of them, right,
But there are two key researchers, I think, both from
the seventies roughly or the fifties, sixties and seventies. There's
(27:53):
Lee Sinella and Well, I'll talk about Lisonella. First. He
wrote a book in the seventies where he was like, look,
an awakening or a Condolini awakening can look like psychosis,
but it's actually more of an evolutionary and healing sort
of activity, and that the clinical view of western medicine
(28:13):
needs really needs to have a framework for spiritual emergencies.
And that's what that's kind of or that's how he
qualified it. And I think that kind of lends into
the messy part, like what's actually taking place with somebody.
And then you have Stanislav Grout. I don't know if
I got that right, but he penned the term spiritual
(28:35):
emergencies and how they're part of personal evolution and really
started to to say with like Kondalini, it's not about
what's wrong with you, but what's trying to what's trying
to happen here, what's actually taking place, and it's I
think it's that personal presence and what's going on.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
And that's yoga to begin with. That is sort of
an overarching in the yoga world is there's nothing wrong
with you, and you can show up violent, angery, pissed, stressed,
grieving all of that. It's not about getting rid of that,
it's understanding where it came from and then working through that.
We've demonized anger like, oh, she's an angry person, Well
maybe there's something going on. She's not hurting, Like that's
(29:14):
what it is. It's the anger is not the problem.
It's what you do with it.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
And how you choose her express it. Well, that's goes
kind of into that yin and yang thing that that
we were just talking about before, like how are you
balancing it right?
Speaker 3 (29:24):
In? A life without anger? Tells me that you're not
addressing things coming up because there's no way that you've
never been in or you're just.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Not living life, or you're right fucking delusional, right, but yeah,
you're the wrong medication.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Or too much of the right one exactly.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
On that Kundalini grind I thought.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
I would share what the seven steps of KUNDLINI are. Oh, yes,
what's my time? Just out of interest, You're only a
five minutes, okay, lovely, So I'll touch on them. But
I think the main thing I wanted to ultimately get
to is oddly enough, you know, I feel like Beth
may have given this word at some level on purpose,
(30:05):
because I would argue, I've been through this in the
previous six to eight months, which is kind of incredible
because it started to put some words and thoughts around
this experience that I've had. It kind of starts with
your root chakra, which is I'm safe. It's located at
(30:25):
the base of the spine. It's where it wakes up,
and it's all about survival and grounding and trust. The
second step is the sacral chakra, which is I feel
located just below the navel, which is sex, creativity, emotions,
and pleasure. And I like the highlight that just because
(30:45):
it's got a sexual like some people say, it's expressed sexually,
but at the same time it could have the full
opposite for some folks depending on how they manifest it.
The solar plexus chakra, which is I do located in
the stomach, which personal power, will, autonomy, and identity. It's
you know. The symptom is feeling powerful as fuck. The
(31:07):
heart chakra, which is I love, love, compassion, forgiveness, and unity.
It's at the center of the chest and it's like
the floodgates of love open is the symptom. The throat chakra,
which is I speak, which is communication of truth and expression.
The symptoms are you feel like you must speak the
truth and share your truth. The sixth is the third
(31:29):
eye chakra middle of the forehead, which is intuition, insight
and psychic abilities, vivid dreams, visions, downloads of information, you know,
you just know. And then the third which is the
crown chakra, which is top of head connection, divine, bliss,
uh oneness, and the symptoms states of unity, blissful, samadi.
I don't know if I'm saying that essay.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
It's the full nirvana. It's the full movement beyond all
of that human realm.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
So feeling like you are everything and everything is you.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
It's being one with everything and the crown. It's understood.
The crown chakra sits not on the physical but like
right above, right.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Above your head. Yeah, this goes into kind of like
the personal note, and I'm going to share myself a
little bit personally. Maybe I'm in that throat chakra right now,
but I think some people know. You guys both know
that I've gotten sober in the previous ten months and
I'm about to be ten months sober. And the other
reason I'm sharing, by the way, is like one of
(32:34):
the most powerful things I had in this process was
hearing other people share about their kind of journey and
decision to go with this direction. And the one thing
I'd say for anyone listening, if you're thinking about doing it,
do it. It's one of the best decisions I've made
for myself. But part of the other side of this
as well, and I've also talked about this, is I've
(32:55):
worked with the doctor and used a provider to kind
of explore microdosing and use of ketamine for anxiety and depression,
and mostly for anxiety on my part, I kind of
went through this interesting phase very early on when I
fully cut off alcohol of I described it to James
as like I feel everything. It's like pure chaos, Like
(33:22):
I feel everything, I sense everything. It's overwhelming. I don't
know what to do. With it, like ah, and I
now actually kind of see this as the like I
think this was kind of the uncoiling of the snake,
if you will. And then through these steps, like I
had a very clear moment where I was in hyperbliss,
(33:46):
like I was like, I like, I feel amazing. Everything
is amazing.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
I was.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
I remember specifically acknowledging it when I was on a
trip back from Woodstock to Asbury Park and singing at
the top of my lungs to some of my favorite
songs and just being like, how is it I can
feel this good? Like why is it? Everything just feels
so wonderful.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
I'm crying, Thank you Ryan.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Ah, And then like and actually, one of the other
kind of acknowledgement points is when Jenna was in town
last time and she and I were chatting, and I
was kind of talking about this journey and I was
saying to her like I'm at this new point. I
think the words I used is like I'm starting to
realize that I'm more I'm more intelligent than I thought
(34:34):
I was. And I know that sounds like maybe a
weird thing to say, but I was, like I was
saying to her, like like I just like the things
that make me more of who I am. I feel
more connected with and I feel more deeply And you know, Michael,
last week I was saying to Beth, like at the
end of the thing, like one of my powers has
always been kind of empathy, and it's so much stronger now,
(34:57):
like my ability to feel how others feel or sense
who people are. And it's like this weird like I
just didn't know it was there, but it's like at
that next kind of like if I had to put
it's almost like that third eye chakra.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
Yeah, it's awareness, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Like awareness and feeling things that I didn't know were
present before. But I kind of genuinely believe like all
of this is interrelated to count of some of the practices.
And the thing is with the with the use of
the microdosing ketamine, there is a there's a very important
part of meditation and like reflection and this thing. And
I think the combination of eliminating the alcohol from my
(35:36):
life and deburdening my body and my mind and then
at the same time having this kind of like enlightening
practice as well as candidly a drug that kind of
contributes to the expansion like the like the documented expansion
(35:56):
of your neuro connectors and neurotransmitters. I've kind of had
this and sendant experience to lead to where I am now,
Like I feel like I've had the grand privilege of
actually doing this, and I do feel like I'm in
a different place, a different space than i was just
a year ago. Yeah, And the thing was is like
(36:17):
as soon as it like I read about the part
of like this like like life chaos, and it just
kind of like accidentally happens, and I'm like, holy shit,
that's what has gone down, because I remember the chaos
at the beginning. I was like, I don't know what
I'm gonna do with this. I don't know how I'm
gonna get through this if it's going to be like
this all the time, Like I'm not going to be
able to get through it. But I'd be like James,
(36:39):
I just feel everything. I feel everything all the time.
I can't turn it off, you know. And by the way,
I'm not suggesting that I don't have more work to do.
I'm not suggesting that I'm by any means an enlightened one.
I'm just saying that I think I've experienced some sort
of journey that fits within the realm of this Kundalini experience.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
It's honestly, if people and I say this all the time,
if you'll allow it to be, that's the yogic experience.
These are the things that lead someone into the depths
of the practice. There's so much like joking around in
the yoga world that's like, oh, you know, people think
(37:21):
yoga people are all chill, but really we're all crazy
and it's funny. But the truth is, I think if
you line up a bunch of people who are very serious,
like myself, someone who has made a life out of
this practice, we didn't come to it because we were
like that could be cool. We came to it because
we were like, what do I do now? I don't
(37:44):
know anything about anything. I don't know who I am,
I don't know where I am. I'm in the deep
dark depths of my soul and I don't know where
to turn. And I think for most of us, there
was an ad or a groupon for a yoga studio
and a lovely girl sitting in lotus, you know, with
(38:04):
a hole, and we were like, oh, that looks nice.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Said things to me like beat and that she's horny again.
And she.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Was very attractive. Her eyeliner was perfect.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
In her lashes. Amazing.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
I will never ever forget my first real experience with
a teacher that became a teacher of mine. And when
we say teacher, you know, in the yoga world, yes,
it could be the person you go to every Saturday,
but a lot of us have a teacher that we've
been with for years and years and years. And my
first ever teacher the studio I used to practice at
(38:53):
Easter and yoga I was still living. I was nineteen.
It had these huge high ceilings in one of the
rooms and typically ring shavasna or the final rest where
you're just laying on your mat. Often music is played,
like soft music, but music. However, my first ever teacher
used to turn off everything and she would sing mantra
for like ten minutes, and the way it would echo
(39:15):
through the room, I will never ever forget. And we're
talking that's nearly twenty years ago now, laying on my mat.
I'm a kid, right, I'm eighteen, nineteen years old, and
I'm crying, and I'm like, what is happening here? What
is happening here? And I knew right, and I've been
through a lot of iterations of my life since I
was nineteen. However, I knew right then and there that
(39:38):
I didn't know when it was going to be, but
I was going to be part of this, this whatever
was going on in that room, I was going to
be part of it. I didn't know how. And I
was living at home and I my parents would go
to bed, and I would go out into the living
room and I would pull up yoga poses just like
in Google images, like you know the way they list them, Yeah,
(40:00):
and I would just do every single one of them.
And I used to do yoga. I was a figure skater,
so we had a yoga teacher and that was like
my first intro to yoga. But when I started to
dive deep into it, and I would read like, Okay,
you put your foot here and this is what you
should feel and blah blah blah, and I would literally
not flow, you know the way that we know vinyasa
or hot thea yoga to move from boupos, I would
(40:21):
be like okay, and Lord of the Fishes, okay, and
we're gonna twist and we're going okay, Google, Okay, what's
the next one? Oh? Okay? A cobra pop. Okay, that
feels really cool. Then I taught myself to handstand and
headstand and do all that kind of stuff. And then
I started actually taking yoga clauses and being like, oh,
so this is one eighth of the yogic path. There's
(40:42):
eight limbs on the yogic path. One of them the third,
so not even the first is awsina or posture, and
fifteen whatever it is. Years later and I am a
multiple studio director with a community that follows me that
I could not be more in love with. We all
start typically, and let me tell you something. You could
tell the people who started because they wanted to do
(41:03):
handstands on the beach, and I mean that with full offense.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
I think we all know who they are.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Yes, we do me no, And I still can't do
hands dances.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
So westernized yoga is something that you have to dig
through sometimes because like you see it on Instagram, you
see it on TikTok. Like I said, you see Lulu
commercials and you're like, that's cool, and yeah, what we
can do with our body is really cool. But it
goes so much deeper than that. And Ryan just described
what I would tell people is the yoga experience. You
don't have to be a different person. You don't have
(41:35):
to put a bunch of crystals in your house. You
don't have to you don't even have to not drink,
not smoke, not eat sugar, all that kind of stuff
to have that experience of awareness and self self awareness,
because once that self awareness hits, you start noticing everything.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Else, which well, I doesn't say, I actually think that
drinking was suppressing the awareness.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
Well that's what it's supposed to do.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Yeah, yeah, And I was going to say, and I
feel lucky and then I was able to lean into
that awareness.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
I mean it sounds like the first time, and this
is this is a really tiny exib like this is
nothing compared to what you're talking about, but it's I'm
gonna say it anyway, because it's much. I've really bad
issue with like ear wax build up because my ear
canals are wonky. I remember the first time that I
(42:29):
went and had my ears cleaned, which you know where
they like blast water into your ear and then all
the wax came out. I literally thought I became a
Marvel superhero. Yeah, because I went from like basically my
whole life of like dulled hearing, and only it was
getting worse and worse. I was like, I think I
literally can't hear out of one ear. That's why I
finally got it done. I could hear ants thinking.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
Now that's nervana.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
It was the coolest experience. I was like, am I
a superhero like you? Because my first thought wasn't is
this how other people live? It was I am now back.
I was like, I am I am superman. I could
hear a paper crinkle from a mile away. It was
the coolest sensation. And Ryan, when you we talking about
(43:15):
all of a sudden you could hear. But it was
also like who whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. I can't live
like this. This is crazy. This is a lot like
I can't focus because I can hear everything and it
took a minute to get used to. But when you
get rid of that filter, Like to be fair, this
is a much smaller example, but I'm imagining like when
you remove alcohol from your life. It's it's that times
(43:35):
a thousand, because it's not just your ear, You're doing
it to your brain and all of your senses. So
I can only imagine going from having all of your
senses just a little bit dulled to whosh.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
And I think there's so much to be said too
for the the experience that we have when we choose,
you know, say I want like an altered state whatever.
I think it's so unfortunately off the norm that if
you do it your average person, you're a trope, Like
you're the weirdo hippie, like I think, Like, I don't
(44:08):
know if you've ever watched there's a I don't even
know if it's on Netflix anymore, but there's a documentary
called The Spirit Molecule and it's about DMT, and basically
the whole documentary is about that. It's these people that
like live in the woods. They're very like natural, earthly people.
And the whole thing is when you take DMT, your
senses are heightened, so you become aware of the ants
(44:30):
and you can hear their footsteps and the way that
you hear the trees and all that, and people are like, oh,
these fucking weirdos. That is it weird to be aware
of the beauty in our world? Like is that if
that's weird, then like literally lock me up, you know. So,
I when we look at it on that scale, maybe
that's a little too much for people to handle right away.
But I often have this conversation with students at the
(44:50):
beginning of class when they say like, well, I don't
believe in any of that like energy stuff, and I'm like, okay,
tell me this. You come home from work, you're in
a shit mood. You had a terrible day, but your
partner isn't a great mood, and they set up dinner
for you, and they got you flowers and they said,
you know what I made. I made reservations for cocktails,
and all of a sudden, your mood has shifted. That's
an energy shift. You felt your partner's joy and happiness,
(45:14):
and all of a sudden, the negative that you felt
melted a way other way around. You're excited to go
out with your friends, You're all happy, everyone is fighting.
When you get there, everyone's angry. So all of a
sudden you're like, well, I don't want to go because
now I'm in a bad mood. That's an energy shift.
That's all that it is. And when people say like, oh,
those people are weird, I said all the time, I'm not.
I'm not afraid to be that person. And I feel
(45:36):
like Ryan has even seen it. We're at the Stone Pony.
We're watching a show. The sun is setting, the sky
is pink. I smell the ocean. My friends are surrounding me.
I'm crying because I feel it. Yeah, so good to
be able to go this is this is it? Dude,
It's not work, it's this is it.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
I was gonna say. I think I think it's important
to point out that that thing is different for everyone.
And I think that's the other thing that people get
caught up in this. In this thing like Kndalini isn't
one thing, and that's I think it's wherever right, it's many.
It's a lot of different things, and that kind of
like you know, ascending is different experiences. But I think
(46:19):
the thing it does lean into and I think the
key message here is to stop and be aware of it,
or stop and be aware of your presence and your
presence relative to your surroundings. And that's part. I think
that's probably what a lot of it is.
Speaker 3 (46:35):
Yeah, I don't know, And everyone's experience is different. Everyone's
the thing that makes everyone stop in their tracks and
take that deep breath and go, oh wow, is different.
You know. It's like when people say to me, like
You'll never know love until you look into the eyes
of your baby. And I'm like, well, I don't want
a baby, so that's not the feeling that I'm searching for.
But have you ever stood on the boardwalk at the
(46:57):
sunset and taken a big breath in with your partner
that you love more than anything, holding their arms around
your shoulders. Have you ever done that?
Speaker 1 (47:04):
It's funny, is I'm a little bit hungry and I
thought and staring at a big chocolate cake.
Speaker 3 (47:10):
Yeah, anything that makes you take that second and go
like this, this is it, man.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
This smell the frosting.
Speaker 3 (47:19):
I'm a cream cheese frosting girl myself. Oh yeah, that's horny.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
That's hearty, horny man, all right speaking, I almost was
like and this is this was white noise, But I
forgot that we have finish, like this is the perfect ending.
Well I'll just take a deep breath. So, yes, you
have to pick a winner. I mean, good luck. This
ill became a big free flow conversation.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
This one's really hard because.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
I mean, I do envy you on this one, and.
Speaker 3 (47:53):
I don't know, I might have to say Ryan because
of the personal and also because as someone who who
is one of Ryan's best friends I've watched. I've always
loved him. I'm talking like he's not here, this guy
who ways, there's always been I tell people this all
the time. Rick and James, so my husband and Ryan's husband,
(48:14):
best friends their whole life, thirty something years. And of
course I've always loved James. James has been someone that
I could go to for anything. I've known him since
I was a teenager. But then he met Ryan and
I was like, oh yeah, this one belongs to me.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
Oh this is mine.
Speaker 3 (48:28):
So him and I have this, you know, and we
always just like the boy and we're like, oh, well,
we'll just go on vacation without you, the two.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Of us, like, or we'll go to we don't need you.
Speaker 3 (48:38):
We don't need you guys. So me and Ryan have
always had this connection and I've always loved everything about him.
But watching you in the past year, that's why I cried,
Because watching you in the past year, it's almost like
I'm like, oh my god, he has found himself and
he sees himself the way I see him.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
Oh God, now you're gonna make me cry.
Speaker 3 (48:57):
So you know, you you're now seeing yourself the way
that I hear you when you talk and the way
that I see you when you're out in the world.
So that is what it's about. And I think that's amazing. Man,
You're very luck. I love you.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
I could go cry now. Thank you. Oh.
Speaker 3 (49:20):
Michael's like, oh and that's why always I.
Speaker 4 (49:23):
Can you action And on that note, wow, oh, So
moral of this episode is Ryan, we love you.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
Yeah, I love you. I love both of you so much.
I mean that. I'm so thankful for both of you.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Oh you you are horny. I am actually, So what
is our What is our word for next week?
Speaker 3 (49:52):
So your word is? I texted Ryan. I texted Ryan
before and I was like, can I say like a
brand or is that like infringement? He was like, no,
it's public domain. So I Vans the shoe Vans grant.
Speaker 2 (50:05):
I wonder if there are any of my roof right now?
Speaker 3 (50:07):
Yeah, just go up there in check, do some market research.
I just think it's an interesting because they have a
ton of history and it's I have no joke, probably
twelve to fourteen pairs of Vans.
Speaker 2 (50:19):
Right, great, So well, this is beautiful change. Jordan, Thank
you so much. You're such a rock star.
Speaker 3 (50:24):
Guys, so fun always.
Speaker 1 (50:25):
They're a good one.
Speaker 2 (50:26):
I mean, I think we're all going to go have
a nice little like moment after this and then go
learn about Vans.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
It's gonna be good.
Speaker 3 (50:34):
Yeah, get on it.
Fun fact, Cundalini is also a Northern Italian pasta that
is served in a very rich tomato sauce. It was
pasta and I'm going to talk about that now. I'm kidding,
it's not real. That's selfy.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
My first thought it was it does sound delicious, doesn't it.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Oh Somewhere, some very very particular Kundalini practitioner is like you.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
And because they're connected to dinner so in tune with universe,
they heard you that.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Hello, welcome back.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Welcome back to White Noise today.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Guess what we have with us are one of our
universally loved guests back again, Jordan, Welcome back.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Now that's horny.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
So before we just hit records. So we jumped on Riverside,
which is what we record on, and we've just been
catching up because I haven't seen Jordan in a minute
and she's one of my favorite people, and we're just
chatting and we were like, wait, why aren't we recording?
Everything you say is gold? But I just I just
learned something about myself, which is, Jordan, you are a
much better gay man than I will ever be.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
I get that a lot.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Ryan was talking about his perfect morning and you said
that is horny, and I thought you meant to say
that is morning.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
No, I said that's horny. And why I realize and
Ryan and I have discussed this that I spend the
majority of my time around gay men, gay women, my
queer self, and drag queens. So my verbiage that I
use is often shaped by that. And but what I
do for a living, I spend a lot of time
with in no negative way, straight white women, and I'll
(01:41):
say things like oh wow, that's horny and they look
at me like what, and I'm like, oh, yeah, they
know that's really nice. Love that for you. But I
forget sometimes where I am where I'm like, okay, don't
come off, and they look at me like okay, I
love this. Last night I said to Rick we were
we were watching something last night. I was like, it's
crazy to me how many times I say I have
to beat my face and women at the club look
(02:03):
at me like what, and I'm like, makeup. I have
to do a full face and makeup okay, And then
they're like oh. I'm like yeah, like I gotta get
out of here. I have to do a full beat
before I go to dinner.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
And they're like, you have to eat a beat? Are
you worried about digestion?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
I have to put eyeliner on and they're like, oh,
oh got it, And I'm like, right, I forget where
I am sometimes where I'm.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Like, now I'm picturing some like wealthy white women from
you know, a suburb, being like I have to beat
my face and just standing there putting on makeup and
then slowly just punching her face, being like this must
be what Jordan does to look so good.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
I feel like using it awkward and be like, honey,
do you do you like my beat?
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (02:40):
And I say that really it would sound different.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Or alternatively, you know, a husband, girls, something wonderful in
the grill, brings an insects it on the table. Rich
white woman goes, oh, that's horny, and then suddenly he's
got all the wrong signals and he's like, oh really, really.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
We're gonna we haven't had sex since July.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Yeah, Phil's getting some like rick.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
We'll say it. We'll be watching something and it'll be like, oh, Hoarantina,
and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
I know, quarantina is that a thing? I've never heard horantina?
Speaker 3 (03:14):
But it like okay, like right now, this. Horntina Aguilera,
Quarantina Aguilera.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I can't wait to go to work on Monday.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
You're getting a little crazy. You've had too much drink
your Turantina Aguilera. Uh yeah, make it work for you.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Wow, this is amazing. I didn't realize I knew I
lived under a rock. I didn't realize how big that
rock was until just now.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
What was the Jordan? What was the one we were
running around with? My uh? Did we have izzy to everything?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
It would be bussy, my bob, Bussy.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Can you bring me that coffee please?
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Yeh yeah, horn to see, Horn to see.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I don't know why, but bussy though, that makes me
sound a lot of like, oh, honey, I went to
the pola. I got above boys. It's very nice. It
accentuates my cheek bones, that's what That's what Dorrin told me.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
It's always Dorin.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Something like that. Yeah, I don't know what. Something like
this just makes me think. I'm watching The Sopranos for
the first time. And one of my favorite moments is
I think it was somewhere in season two where Tony
gets into bed and he's obviously cheating on Carmela because
he is the whole time, but it's it's during the
whole section of the show where she just wants to
have sex. It was season two and they didn't know
(04:35):
what to do with her, yes, and so the whole
storyline is just I'm not getting enough and you can't.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Get rid of it.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Because you need because she's the greatest thing on two legs.
And so Tony comes home late from his mistress, gets
into bed and Carmela's dead asleep but in full face,
beat full asleep. He gets into bed and then she
wakes up, rolls over, it just goes ya want sex,
and like in that voice.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
That sounded like the lowest from family guy.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Yeah, and he just goes na. She goes He's like,
I'm tired, Comella, and she's like okay and just rolls
over and goes back to sleep. And now ever since then,
like I literally I'll just be with people like I'll
be with Brian with my boyfriend just turn to be like, yeah,
aunt sex. Like in the least sexy moments ever, we're
watching like a really sad episode of a TV show,
(05:25):
And I don't know why that's the person who would
be like that's Tawny, Yes, but like not.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Uh huh, and I'm going to use that and not
explain the context to Rick at all and just.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Sex, yeam aunt sex. And so we have other friends
who said they do it the same thing. So and
this is I finally only just learned what Bratt was.
So now just in time to figure out Bratt. And
it's any No, it's.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Never it's never over.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Are we moving into another Brat summer?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
If I have my way, great, by way, I'm gonna
need a Brat summer.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
I know, I feel like I literally was like, I
don't think Brian rem what I look like.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Well I do now, thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
It's been too long.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Like wonder with James whatever. That was like two weeks ago,
and I was like this is ridiculous, And of course
James was like, oh, get fucked, like we're trying to
do this, like I love you too, yeah, and he was.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Like, I know you. I'm up here like laying fucking
hardwood floor and you're sending me pictures of eating delicious
pizza in downtown Asbury Park.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
You were sanding something and you sent the picture and
you were covered in white dust.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Oh that's right, drywall I was doing.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Drywall was that drywall or a were you just having
a really wild weekend?
Speaker 1 (06:36):
It was cocaine.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Well knew it.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
It was a lot. It was. It was also like
a Wednesday night, which is not helpful at all either.
It's like a Wednesday at ten pm. We're drinking espresso
Martini's and Ryan is laying pipe.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
I wish I was laying pipe. I do love this
idea that maybe I'm the most ineffective cocaine snorter in
the world. I just don't know how to use it.
So I just like throw it on. I'm just like,
you just throw it on your face?
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Does it work?
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Like?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
This?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Is this? It did?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
I cocaine?
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Right, I'm not really energy?
Speaker 2 (07:09):
All right? Should we get to the reason I could
do this with you think?
Speaker 3 (07:12):
So?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Can this podcast just be like catching up with Jordian?
Speaker 3 (07:17):
You're you're gonna be down here in the summer.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
No, Michael, I thought you'd already moved into jordan Shed.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Right, Uh not yet? Oh, although I probably should. I
may have a tenant for you. So my neighbor, this
is a story. I live. My apartment in Jersey City's
on the top floor of like a really old brownstone. Right,
we have really cool high ceiling silts. It's love Like
my neighbor across the hall, he was like, have you
(07:44):
ever been up on the roof? And we have like
this rickedy old ladder right outside our doors up to
one of those little like hatch things to the roof,
and I was like, no, I didn't think we could
go up there. It's clearly not a roof that like
I've seen it from the street, like it doesn't look
like a roof you hang out on. And he was like, no,
it's actually pretty nice. Although I've been hearing some we
things recently, so like be careful. And the other night
I was here and I was like, well, let me
(08:05):
just it's a beautiful night. I've been in the office
all day. Let me go like get some fresh air
and check out the roof. And I climb up the
wriggedy thing. The first thing I opened the hatch and
there's just a sneaker, just a lone sneaker. And it's
also eleven thirty at night and there's just a sneaker
in front of the little hatch thing, and I was like,
that's weird. And it's a new looking sneaker. I was like,
why does this look like something out of like Law
and Order. Yeah, And I keep climbing out and I
(08:28):
see another pile of just like shoes, like kind of
beat up shoes and some new shoes, and it's just like,
what's happening up here? And this is where like all
the brownstuts are about the same Uh, they're all the
same floor, so it's like everyone sort of spread across
like the rooftop and Mary Pace. You can walk across rooftops, yeah,
and none of them have railings or anything, like you
(08:48):
really shouldn't be up there, but like, but it's fine.
And I lookin there's a sleeping bag sort of balled up,
and then like a busted old suitcase with clothes on it.
And I was like, oh, someone's fully like living up here.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
You can get up there without going in the building.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
I don't know, because ours like our little hatch to
the roof, like you can only open from the inside,
and it was locked when I went up, so there
must be. But like all the roofs are connected, so
who knows. And I was like, oh, fuck, somebody is
living up here and boarding shoes, questioned Mark. But I
was like, and I look around and I'm like, well,
it's a nice night. I'm just gonna sit here. And
I walk kind of towards the edge and I'm like
(09:25):
looking out towards the city. And then I just hear
this trickling of water and I was like, what's going on?
And then this guy, this huge dude, just like steps
out from behind a chimney and I just see the
silhouette and it was literally I almost it.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Was the scariest thing.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
I was like, and he just stood there and just
stared at me and was just like okay. And I
was like, and there's no guy. I was like, well,
this is how I die. And luckily like he starts
to walk towards me and walks between me and the hatch,
and I was just like standing stone, just sort of
awkwardly waved. I was like hi. And he picks up
the loane sneaker and then walks around to the back
(10:04):
edge and just throws it over the back and then
walks back to the pile of shoes and just one
by one picks up a shoe, walks over and just
throws it over the edge. And I was like, okay,
and what time you walk back over the edge. I
think this is where I got off the roof. I
don't think I need to be up here with a
crazy man throwing shoes, but like, so, apparently there's a
man who lives on my roof who hoards shoes so
(10:26):
he can throw them into the back which the where
he was throwing them was like the backwork area for
a Greek restaurant. So I wonder if they come out
in the morning and they're like, why are all these
shoes back here?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
I have so many questions for this guy, right yeah,
but then part of me, I was like I should
call the police, but then pardon me, felt bad because
I was like, this is where he lives, and maybe
he's nowhere else to go.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
And honestly, who's he harming up there? Yeah, he's going
to do is a peekin through my skylights? And like,
I mean, I don't care. Bring it on, ye, I mean,
you're welcome to the show. It's not particularly exciting, it's it's.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Wow. I also want to know the lord or like
did he work at the restaurant and get fired? Did
someone pins him off at the restaurant? Is he after
a target specifically? Is he just trying to confuse them,
because that's tea to just be like where are these
shoes coming from?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Every day I'm gonna be asked with you. I think
I want to get at the bass story, like why
are you on the roof.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
This roof with.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
These shoes and that Greek restaurant?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
These Jordans make me horny?
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Those are horny shoes.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I didn't even use it right, and I tried. That
was terrible. I'm a failure.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
No, just a cocaine. But it's fine. Okay, So Ryan,
what are we talking about? What are we actually talking
about today?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
We're talking about Condellini?
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Oh my goodness. Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I was like, I was like waiting for the Jordan reaction.
I was like, if she doesn't react, we have a problem.
Not really, but so we were like, apparently there's a
very strong tie end to Kundalini and yoga and cundalini
practice within yoga.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
It's a very particular lineage of yoga.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Yeah, because I took a bunch of screenshots of things
that pertain to yoga. So if you were about to
say no, I was like, well, so Jordan, who's going first?
Speaker 3 (12:24):
I think Michael should go first?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Okay, great, sweet, all right, ready, set go Okay. Also,
I love Ryan that you said Cundalini instead of cooned.
I think it's Coondalini. But it really makes me happy
that you lean into the Cundalini of it all.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Like cunt Sorry, oh Am, I allowed to say that word.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Codlini is the divine feminine, so makes sense.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I was gonna say. Cundalini. Feels like a really proper
Freudian slipped with this. So I learned, so Jordan, And
this is where I'm so glad we have you, because
I feel like I learned a lot and yet I
understand nothing. And that to me also feels in keeping
with a little bit of a Kundalinie thing. It feels
like one of the It feels like a great mystical
concept that is much greater than ourselves. Because, for example,
(13:11):
like I ended up watching a lot of videos with
these sort of yoga energy masters from India, which mostly
were a bunch of old men. Was men with really
big beards talking about the power of Kundalini and how
it's beyond what a lot of us can comprehend. And
let me just start with one guy said he was
like the average person we all have. He said, one
(13:34):
hundred and fourteen chakras, which I thought we only had
what is this one, two, three, four, five s? Except yes,
oh thank you seven chakras. He said, they're one hundred
and fourteen. But the average person lives their life only
using twenty one. Yeah, and you only use twenty one
to sort of just like get from A to B
through life. So I was just like, oh damn well,
and he was like, somebody who achieves full Kundalini accesses
(13:57):
all one hundred and fourteen, and I was like, WHOA, Okay.
So in basic it's it's activating all of your chakras, right,
beginning at the base of your spine, your absolute base,
and working all activating all the way through to the top.
And that is the feminine power, right, And it's like
in pictures imagery, it's done with a snake, right, it's
a surpent entergy.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
It's like serpentine energy that starts at your pelvis.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
And yeah, which I think is interesting because so I
learned that this practice goes back thousands upon thousands of years,
like predates writing basically, like the first time I was
written down was like nine hundred BCE or something like that,
and then it was incorporated into yoga practices once they
finally were like, this is what yoga once they finally
(14:41):
defined it, which I think is just so fascinating because
then it's interesting that like that the image is of
a serpent time think going up the back of your spine.
That Christianity then is like the serpent and eve. Like
I was like, oh, so again, Christianity is nothing original,
Like this idea of a connection between the fe male
power and a snake has been around for centuries, and religious.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
People will still say that any yoga practice is of
the devil.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Yeah, and that's and but I was like, but they
made it bad, yeah, which I think is interesting that
for this it's like it's literally achieving the highest power
of awareness and self.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Yep of self, and.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
It's an inherently feminine power, which makes total sense because
life comes from women.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Is that the delta between, that's the delta between. Like
Christians don't believe you're self empowered. They believe you're empowered
by God. So this is true.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
So if they see something like that, they have to
make it bad. Yeah, because this is the idea that
like it all comes from within, yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
And that's any yoga practice, not just kundalini. That's why
they hate. Often people who are super devout will say
that if you practice yoga, you're basically not giving yourself
up to what will be and like forcing control. Oh,
because it's self, you know. Yeah, like you said, Ryan,
you're supposed to give yourself up to God and like
let this being make all the choices. Where yoga is,
(16:03):
like you said, Michael, it's one hundred percent the deepest,
strongest awareness that you could possibly have internally and externally.
That's nirvana, right, It's that full awardess of self.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
But I was so excited about this, and one video
I watched one particular old man he broke it down
this really great way where he started out by saying
he was like, so on a really basic term of
kundalini to sort of like give your frame of mind.
And he's like, this is the most basic version. Imagine
just like a truck driver and his job is he
just like drives, and if his whole life is very boring,
(16:36):
if he just sits and when he drives, he doesn't
take anything in. He just drives the truck. He eats,
he sleeps, he gets up, he drives and that's his
basic life and that's what he goes through life. And
he was like, the Kundalini version is somebody who sees
everything while he drives and appreciates everything along the drive
while he goes through his life. Yeah, And I was like,
well that's interesting, and he was like, basically, that's the
(16:58):
most basic explanation. And then he broke down the seven
chakras of like going through and how each one you
sort of have a choice between like a positive and
a negative feeling, and the Kundalini version is taking in
the positive version but not overdoing it. So like when
you got to the pelvic one, he was like somebody
who embraces sex and creativity, but like somebody who over
(17:19):
does it, then it knocks you back. But I love
that this idea of all of them were basically just
driven by positivity, creativity, and joy and gratitude, but also
embracing the sad things. Like when he got to the
throat chakra, he was like, Kundalini, when your throat chokes,
but he was like, it chokes when you feel gratitude
because you're excited, but also when you feel sadness. And
(17:41):
he was a Kundalini is also enjoying the sadness and
allowing that to flow through your body. So he's like,
it's not all happy, positive all the time. Sometimes it's
fully just expressing the yeah and expressing just the authenticity
of it, because you can't move on to the next
level unless you acknowledge those feelings. And he was like,
in gratitude and sadness, you have the same physical reaction,
but you can choose to sit in one or the other,
(18:04):
which I thought was very interesting. He was like, so
much of Kundalini is choosing yeah, to feel the positive
side of something. He was like, like example, the stomach one.
He was like, when you feel anger and jealousy, you
feel it in your stomach, but also when you feel joy,
you feel it in your stomach, or like your forehead.
He was like, when you feel like creative energy, it's
in your friend, but also when you feel anger, it's
(18:25):
in your forehead. And which one do you choose? You
have to acknowledge both, but you can't move to the
next one until you choose the more positive side. And
it was just it was really beautiful. But then I
watched this more intense guy who was like Kundalini yoga
specifically is the most powerful yoga. It's also the most
dangerous yoga because it's the most potent yoga. And he
(18:46):
was like, do not try it one hundred like that. Oh,
and he was like, do not try it unless you
are ready. And it was sort of the epitome of
like nothing comes unless you are ready, and he will.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Feel it and never come back to they if that's
their first ever yoga class, they'll like I've met so
many people have been like I tried yoga years ago
and I'm like, oh, what did you do? And they're
like I went to a kundalina and I'm like, soop,
right there, try again and go to Berdolini, du vinyasa,
do hatta, do something else.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
And the way he described it was like doing shrooms,
though he was like you can't. He was like, doing
kundalini is like starting the alphabet at Z and like
and he was talking about how it's it's this incredible
great awareness, but it's also really dangerous because you're accessing
so much of you and you're tapping into the universe
in such a great way that like you could really
screw yourself up if you don't have the proper guide,
(19:37):
and I was like, the whole way he was describing,
I was like, this is the way people who do
drugs talk about, like doing shrooms for the first time
or any kind of hallucinogen. If you don't have the
proper guide and you it can be like a really
upsetting trip where you can be head based.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Yeah, it can be. It's also physically one of the
most demanding styles of yoga.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Interesting.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Yeah, But the people who have done it, who have
reached it, it's it's amazing because like there's one quote
somebody who's like, uh, what is kundalin If you like,
it awakens you, it feels like a wave of bliss
that sweeps through your entire being, a warm current flowing
through your spine. It's a gentle breeze blowing on your forehead.
It's just like the people who have achieved it, it
(20:19):
feels like this incredible. Like somebody said their shakrad they
felt like their entire body was blooming with glory, and
it's just like, if you can achieve this, this sounds
pretty spectacular.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Have you ever So I've done kundalini multiple multiple times.
It's I will say I don't know. I don't know
if we have any yoga experts listening to this podcast,
or you know, if it's like Instagram where people are
gonna lose their shit on me in a second. But
it's not my favorite style of yoga.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Okay, well, I mean that's okay.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
But listen, people lose their mind and are like, you're
not doing really, and I'm like, okay, okay. I've been
teaching yoga for over a decade and I've been practicing
for over two decades. So the thing that people, you know,
don't really understand about a physical like asana, which is
the posture, is that there's tons of lineages, meaning variations
(21:16):
of style of yoga. So Kundalini is a very particular one.
And you're very right. You need a teacher. You shouldn't
just go to a Kundalini class just because like you're
on vacation and you saw it's on the schedule. Get
a teacher. And I'm talking get a teacher, like work
through it.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
I'm intrigued by, like, what is the experience somebody's having
if they're just dropping into a Kundelini class and don't
like what? In other words, what's happening that's creating that polarization.
I'm just kind of interested the movement.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
So they have what's called koreas, which are sequences of movement.
And when we think of a sequence in a yoga class,
it's like, you know, updog to down dog to whatever.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Oh, that's ten minutes already, I just keep going.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
It's fine, it's uh, you know. So that is I
think what people have in their brain or like what
they see and like westernized yoga, say like on Instagram
or TikTok or like on a Lulu Lemon commercial or
something like that. Kundalini has these kreas that you're given
and you do that awaken that energy. So instead of
like updog to down dog, it can look like standing
(22:14):
in the middle of the room, taking your arms out
like a tee and like swinging to smack your arms
to your chest and back and that awakens the energy.
So imagine you're on vacation, You're like, I'm gonna go
get myself a nice deep stretch today, and you go
in and the first thing the teacher makes you do
is stand up, start swinging around and also doing heavy
breathwork where you're like ha, So like you can throw
(22:37):
people off. So rather than like like sitting and folding
forward to get a deep stretch, it's vibrational. So it's
the sound healing. It's the breath work. And often people
who aren't guided properly, they feel dizzy or a little
fuzzy because the breath work and the movement together physically
is blood flow and oxygen flow, you know, And it's like,
(22:59):
you know, if you've ever like hit a bong for
the first time and you think you're hot, you know,
and you take that really big hit and then you
pass out. Your your body is not used to that
that energy shift inside, so it can feel very like whoa.
But if you have training and you're working up to it,
that sensation and what you build internally energetically can feel
(23:21):
euphoric once.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
You have an act. That's what a lot of people said.
It's like a euphoric feeling. And I read some things
where they equated it to like sexual feelings and like
tantric experiences, but it sounds like it's way beyond sex.
It's like more of the emotion. Like when you orgasm,
you have an emotional reaction, you know, because you have
a physical reaction but like it sounds like it's that's
probably why people equatics. It's like the closest thing they
can think of.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
It is, and it's very and lots of lots of
men practice it. But it is that divine, feminine and
building up that you know, serpentine energy from the base
of your pelviss And of course it's understood that the
pelvis is a very sexual area of the body and
that energy that moves through And there's also a lot
of not every Like one of my mentors is a
Kundalini teacher, and I love her because she's not. My
(24:08):
first experience with Cundelini was years and years ago, and
it was everybody was dressed in white. Everybody had the
big white wrap around their head. They were carrying around
crystals and I'm not talking like decoration in their house,
like holding them and putting them in front of their
mat when they came in and there I was and
like a pair of Lulu leggings and a sports bra, like.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Uh huh, what is And it was at you.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
It was a sound bath that was at my studio.
But the girl that did the sound bath brought like
her whole squad and they were all Kundelini people, and
I was like, I don't know what I'm getting into,
but I love my mentor because she is a devout
Kundalini practitioner, but she's a normal and I mean that
with respect. She's just a normal woman.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
All Right, Ryan, Now that I've taken half an hour,
are you are you ready?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
I think I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Okay, great, I'm I'm going to do a timer. I'm
not sure why, but look and go.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
So fun fact, Kundolini is also a Northern Italian pasta
that is served in a very rich tomato sauce pasta.
And I'm going to talk about that now. I'm kidding.
It's not real. That's selfy.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
My first thought it was it does sound delicious, doesn't it.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Oh Somewhere, some very very particular Kundalini practitioner is like, and.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Because they're connected to do so in tune with the universe, they.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Heard you that. Yeah, they just broke time continuum.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
They're going to find Jordan.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I'm the channel, so.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
I'm going to try and breeze through some of the
things that you touched on, Michael, Like it stands for
coiled one. Imagine a serpent at the base of your spine,
awakening your kundalini come can come through meditation, breath work, chanting,
yoga postures. And I also like the highlight that it
can happen accidentally through life chaos and the way it
(26:22):
was described in terms of my research is imagine an
energy uncoils and rockets up your spine through your chakras,
unlocking them ultimately kind of culminating at your crown chakra
where you have enlightenment, cosmic union and kind of universal love.
And I like the fact that it kind of talks.
I mean, that sounds very pretty right, but it can
(26:44):
also be extremely messy.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
It's pretty violent.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Yeah, yeah, it can be like like, wow, what the
fuck is going on? Yeah, that's horny, n horny. So
I decided to look into a little bit of the
science behind it, or what science is there. And I
(27:07):
will say that in terms of modern science, there is
more curiosity towards the mind and body connection. There is
deeper exploration of spiritual emergence therapy. It's like a growing
focal point. And there is as we know just through
like research of various psychedelics and acceptance of altered states
as a place of possible healing, and we're also starting
(27:31):
to do because you know, the technology is there is
to study the brain and connection with let's call it
mental altered states, and Kindlini being one of them, right,
But there are two key researchers, I think, both from
the seventies roughly or the fifties, sixties and seventies. There's
(27:53):
Lee Sinella and Well, I'll talk about Lisonella. First. He
wrote a book in the seventies where he was like, look,
an awakening or a Condolini awakening can look like psychosis,
but it's actually more of an evolutionary and healing sort
of activity, and that the clinical view of western medicine
(28:13):
needs really needs to have a framework for spiritual emergencies.
And that's what that's kind of or that's how he
qualified it. And I think that kind of lends into
the messy part, like what's actually taking place with somebody.
And then you have Stanislav Grout. I don't know if
I got that right, but he penned the term spiritual
(28:35):
emergencies and how they're part of personal evolution and really
started to to say with like Kondalini, it's not about
what's wrong with you, but what's trying to what's trying
to happen here, what's actually taking place, and it's I
think it's that personal presence and what's going on.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
And that's yoga to begin with. That is sort of
an overarching in the yoga world is there's nothing wrong
with you, and you can show up violent, angery, pissed, stressed,
grieving all of that. It's not about getting rid of that,
it's understanding where it came from and then working through that.
We've demonized anger like, oh, she's an angry person, Well
maybe there's something going on. She's not hurting, Like that's
(29:14):
what it is. It's the anger is not the problem.
It's what you do with it.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
And how you choose her express it. Well, that's goes
kind of into that yin and yang thing that that
we were just talking about before, like how are you
balancing it right?
Speaker 3 (29:24):
In? A life without anger? Tells me that you're not
addressing things coming up because there's no way that you've
never been in or you're just.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Not living life, or you're right fucking delusional, right, but yeah,
you're the wrong medication.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Or too much of the right one exactly.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
On that Kundalini grind I thought.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
I would share what the seven steps of KUNDLINI are. Oh, yes,
what's my time? Just out of interest, You're only a
five minutes, okay, lovely, So I'll touch on them. But
I think the main thing I wanted to ultimately get
to is oddly enough, you know, I feel like Beth
may have given this word at some level on purpose,
(30:05):
because I would argue, I've been through this in the
previous six to eight months, which is kind of incredible
because it started to put some words and thoughts around
this experience that I've had. It kind of starts with
your root chakra, which is I'm safe. It's located at
(30:25):
the base of the spine. It's where it wakes up,
and it's all about survival and grounding and trust. The
second step is the sacral chakra, which is I feel
located just below the navel, which is sex, creativity, emotions,
and pleasure. And I like the highlight that just because
(30:45):
it's got a sexual like some people say, it's expressed sexually,
but at the same time it could have the full
opposite for some folks depending on how they manifest it.
The solar plexus chakra, which is I do located in
the stomach, which personal power, will, autonomy, and identity. It's
you know. The symptom is feeling powerful as fuck. The
(31:07):
heart chakra, which is I love, love, compassion, forgiveness, and unity.
It's at the center of the chest and it's like
the floodgates of love open is the symptom. The throat chakra,
which is I speak, which is communication of truth and expression.
The symptoms are you feel like you must speak the
truth and share your truth. The sixth is the third
(31:29):
eye chakra middle of the forehead, which is intuition, insight
and psychic abilities, vivid dreams, visions, downloads of information, you know,
you just know. And then the third which is the
crown chakra, which is top of head connection, divine, bliss,
uh oneness, and the symptoms states of unity, blissful, samadi.
I don't know if I'm saying that essay.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
It's the full nirvana. It's the full movement beyond all
of that human realm.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
So feeling like you are everything and everything is you.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
It's being one with everything and the crown. It's understood.
The crown chakra sits not on the physical but like
right above, right.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Above your head. Yeah, this goes into kind of like
the personal note, and I'm going to share myself a
little bit personally. Maybe I'm in that throat chakra right now,
but I think some people know. You guys both know
that I've gotten sober in the previous ten months and
I'm about to be ten months sober. And the other
reason I'm sharing, by the way, is like one of
(32:34):
the most powerful things I had in this process was
hearing other people share about their kind of journey and
decision to go with this direction. And the one thing
I'd say for anyone listening, if you're thinking about doing it,
do it. It's one of the best decisions I've made
for myself. But part of the other side of this
as well, and I've also talked about this, is I've
(32:55):
worked with the doctor and used a provider to kind
of explore microdosing and use of ketamine for anxiety and depression,
and mostly for anxiety on my part, I kind of
went through this interesting phase very early on when I
fully cut off alcohol of I described it to James
as like I feel everything. It's like pure chaos, Like
(33:22):
I feel everything, I sense everything. It's overwhelming. I don't
know what to do. With it, like ah, and I
now actually kind of see this as the like I
think this was kind of the uncoiling of the snake,
if you will. And then through these steps, like I
had a very clear moment where I was in hyperbliss,
(33:46):
like I was like, I like, I feel amazing. Everything
is amazing.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
I was.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
I remember specifically acknowledging it when I was on a
trip back from Woodstock to Asbury Park and singing at
the top of my lungs to some of my favorite
songs and just being like, how is it I can
feel this good? Like why is it? Everything just feels
so wonderful.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
I'm crying, Thank you Ryan.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Ah, And then like and actually, one of the other
kind of acknowledgement points is when Jenna was in town
last time and she and I were chatting, and I
was kind of talking about this journey and I was
saying to her like I'm at this new point. I
think the words I used is like I'm starting to
realize that I'm more I'm more intelligent than I thought
(34:34):
I was. And I know that sounds like maybe a
weird thing to say, but I was, like I was
saying to her, like like I just like the things
that make me more of who I am. I feel
more connected with and I feel more deeply And you know, Michael,
last week I was saying to Beth, like at the
end of the thing, like one of my powers has
always been kind of empathy, and it's so much stronger now,
(34:57):
like my ability to feel how others feel or sense
who people are. And it's like this weird like I
just didn't know it was there, but it's like at
that next kind of like if I had to put
it's almost like that third eye chakra.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
Yeah, it's awareness, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Like awareness and feeling things that I didn't know were
present before. But I kind of genuinely believe like all
of this is interrelated to count of some of the practices.
And the thing is with the with the use of
the microdosing ketamine, there is a there's a very important
part of meditation and like reflection and this thing. And
I think the combination of eliminating the alcohol from my
(35:36):
life and deburdening my body and my mind and then
at the same time having this kind of like enlightening
practice as well as candidly a drug that kind of
contributes to the expansion like the like the documented expansion
(35:56):
of your neuro connectors and neurotransmitters. I've kind of had
this and sendant experience to lead to where I am now,
Like I feel like I've had the grand privilege of
actually doing this, and I do feel like I'm in
a different place, a different space than i was just
a year ago. Yeah, And the thing was is like
(36:17):
as soon as it like I read about the part
of like this like like life chaos, and it just
kind of like accidentally happens, and I'm like, holy shit,
that's what has gone down, because I remember the chaos
at the beginning. I was like, I don't know what
I'm gonna do with this. I don't know how I'm
gonna get through this if it's going to be like
this all the time, Like I'm not going to be
able to get through it. But I'd be like James,
(36:39):
I just feel everything. I feel everything all the time.
I can't turn it off, you know. And by the way,
I'm not suggesting that I don't have more work to do.
I'm not suggesting that I'm by any means an enlightened one.
I'm just saying that I think I've experienced some sort
of journey that fits within the realm of this Kundalini experience.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
It's honestly, if people and I say this all the time,
if you'll allow it to be, that's the yogic experience.
These are the things that lead someone into the depths
of the practice. There's so much like joking around in
the yoga world that's like, oh, you know, people think
(37:21):
yoga people are all chill, but really we're all crazy
and it's funny. But the truth is, I think if
you line up a bunch of people who are very serious,
like myself, someone who has made a life out of
this practice, we didn't come to it because we were
like that could be cool. We came to it because
we were like, what do I do now? I don't
(37:44):
know anything about anything. I don't know who I am,
I don't know where I am. I'm in the deep
dark depths of my soul and I don't know where
to turn. And I think for most of us, there
was an ad or a groupon for a yoga studio
and a lovely girl sitting in lotus, you know, with
(38:04):
a hole, and we were like, oh, that looks nice.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Said things to me like beat and that she's horny again.
And she.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Was very attractive. Her eyeliner was perfect.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
In her lashes. Amazing.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
I will never ever forget my first real experience with
a teacher that became a teacher of mine. And when
we say teacher, you know, in the yoga world, yes,
it could be the person you go to every Saturday,
but a lot of us have a teacher that we've
been with for years and years and years. And my
first ever teacher the studio I used to practice at
(38:53):
Easter and yoga I was still living. I was nineteen.
It had these huge high ceilings in one of the
rooms and typically ring shavasna or the final rest where
you're just laying on your mat. Often music is played,
like soft music, but music. However, my first ever teacher
used to turn off everything and she would sing mantra
for like ten minutes, and the way it would echo
(39:15):
through the room, I will never ever forget. And we're
talking that's nearly twenty years ago now, laying on my mat.
I'm a kid, right, I'm eighteen, nineteen years old, and
I'm crying, and I'm like, what is happening here? What
is happening here? And I knew right, and I've been
through a lot of iterations of my life since I
was nineteen. However, I knew right then and there that
(39:38):
I didn't know when it was going to be, but
I was going to be part of this, this whatever
was going on in that room, I was going to
be part of it. I didn't know how. And I
was living at home and I my parents would go
to bed, and I would go out into the living
room and I would pull up yoga poses just like
in Google images, like you know the way they list them, Yeah,
(40:00):
and I would just do every single one of them.
And I used to do yoga. I was a figure skater,
so we had a yoga teacher and that was like
my first intro to yoga. But when I started to
dive deep into it, and I would read like, Okay,
you put your foot here and this is what you
should feel and blah blah blah, and I would literally
not flow, you know the way that we know vinyasa
or hot thea yoga to move from boupos, I would
(40:21):
be like okay, and Lord of the Fishes, okay, and
we're gonna twist and we're going okay, Google, Okay, what's
the next one? Oh? Okay? A cobra pop. Okay, that
feels really cool. Then I taught myself to handstand and
headstand and do all that kind of stuff. And then
I started actually taking yoga clauses and being like, oh,
so this is one eighth of the yogic path. There's
(40:42):
eight limbs on the yogic path. One of them the third,
so not even the first is awsina or posture, and
fifteen whatever it is. Years later and I am a
multiple studio director with a community that follows me that
I could not be more in love with. We all
start typically, and let me tell you something. You could
tell the people who started because they wanted to do
(41:03):
handstands on the beach, and I mean that with full offense.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
I think we all know who they are.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Yes, we do me no, And I still can't do
hands dances.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
So westernized yoga is something that you have to dig
through sometimes because like you see it on Instagram, you
see it on TikTok. Like I said, you see Lulu
commercials and you're like, that's cool, and yeah, what we
can do with our body is really cool. But it
goes so much deeper than that. And Ryan just described
what I would tell people is the yoga experience. You
don't have to be a different person. You don't have
(41:35):
to put a bunch of crystals in your house. You
don't have to you don't even have to not drink,
not smoke, not eat sugar, all that kind of stuff
to have that experience of awareness and self self awareness,
because once that self awareness hits, you start noticing everything.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Else, which well, I doesn't say, I actually think that
drinking was suppressing the awareness.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
Well that's what it's supposed to do.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Yeah, yeah, And I was going to say, and I
feel lucky and then I was able to lean into
that awareness.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
I mean it sounds like the first time, and this
is this is a really tiny exib like this is
nothing compared to what you're talking about, but it's I'm
gonna say it anyway, because it's much. I've really bad
issue with like ear wax build up because my ear
canals are wonky. I remember the first time that I
(42:29):
went and had my ears cleaned, which you know where
they like blast water into your ear and then all
the wax came out. I literally thought I became a
Marvel superhero. Yeah, because I went from like basically my
whole life of like dulled hearing, and only it was
getting worse and worse. I was like, I think I
literally can't hear out of one ear. That's why I
finally got it done. I could hear ants thinking.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
Now that's nervana.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
It was the coolest experience. I was like, am I
a superhero like you? Because my first thought wasn't is
this how other people live? It was I am now back.
I was like, I am I am superman. I could
hear a paper crinkle from a mile away. It was
the coolest sensation. And Ryan, when you we talking about
(43:15):
all of a sudden you could hear. But it was
also like who whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. I can't live
like this. This is crazy. This is a lot like
I can't focus because I can hear everything and it
took a minute to get used to. But when you
get rid of that filter, Like to be fair, this
is a much smaller example, but I'm imagining like when
you remove alcohol from your life. It's it's that times
(43:35):
a thousand, because it's not just your ear, You're doing
it to your brain and all of your senses. So
I can only imagine going from having all of your
senses just a little bit dulled to whosh.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
And I think there's so much to be said too
for the the experience that we have when we choose,
you know, say I want like an altered state whatever.
I think it's so unfortunately off the norm that if
you do it your average person, you're a trope, Like
you're the weirdo hippie, like I think, Like, I don't
(44:08):
know if you've ever watched there's a I don't even
know if it's on Netflix anymore, but there's a documentary
called The Spirit Molecule and it's about DMT, and basically
the whole documentary is about that. It's these people that
like live in the woods. They're very like natural, earthly people.
And the whole thing is when you take DMT, your
senses are heightened, so you become aware of the ants
(44:30):
and you can hear their footsteps and the way that
you hear the trees and all that, and people are like, oh,
these fucking weirdos. That is it weird to be aware
of the beauty in our world? Like is that if
that's weird, then like literally lock me up, you know. So,
I when we look at it on that scale, maybe
that's a little too much for people to handle right away.
But I often have this conversation with students at the
(44:50):
beginning of class when they say like, well, I don't
believe in any of that like energy stuff, and I'm like, okay,
tell me this. You come home from work, you're in
a shit mood. You had a terrible day, but your
partner isn't a great mood, and they set up dinner
for you, and they got you flowers and they said,
you know what I made. I made reservations for cocktails,
and all of a sudden, your mood has shifted. That's
an energy shift. You felt your partner's joy and happiness,
(45:14):
and all of a sudden, the negative that you felt
melted a way other way around. You're excited to go
out with your friends, You're all happy, everyone is fighting.
When you get there, everyone's angry. So all of a
sudden you're like, well, I don't want to go because
now I'm in a bad mood. That's an energy shift.
That's all that it is. And when people say like, oh,
those people are weird, I said all the time, I'm not.
I'm not afraid to be that person. And I feel
(45:36):
like Ryan has even seen it. We're at the Stone Pony.
We're watching a show. The sun is setting, the sky
is pink. I smell the ocean. My friends are surrounding me.
I'm crying because I feel it. Yeah, so good to
be able to go this is this is it? Dude,
It's not work, it's this is it.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
I was gonna say. I think I think it's important
to point out that that thing is different for everyone.
And I think that's the other thing that people get
caught up in this. In this thing like Kndalini isn't
one thing, and that's I think it's wherever right, it's many.
It's a lot of different things, and that kind of
like you know, ascending is different experiences. But I think
(46:19):
the thing it does lean into and I think the
key message here is to stop and be aware of it,
or stop and be aware of your presence and your
presence relative to your surroundings. And that's part. I think
that's probably what a lot of it is.
Speaker 3 (46:35):
Yeah, I don't know, And everyone's experience is different. Everyone's
the thing that makes everyone stop in their tracks and
take that deep breath and go, oh wow, is different.
You know. It's like when people say to me, like
You'll never know love until you look into the eyes
of your baby. And I'm like, well, I don't want
a baby, so that's not the feeling that I'm searching for.
But have you ever stood on the boardwalk at the
(46:57):
sunset and taken a big breath in with your partner
that you love more than anything, holding their arms around
your shoulders. Have you ever done that?
Speaker 1 (47:04):
It's funny, is I'm a little bit hungry and I
thought and staring at a big chocolate cake.
Speaker 3 (47:10):
Yeah, anything that makes you take that second and go
like this, this is it, man.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
This smell the frosting.
Speaker 3 (47:19):
I'm a cream cheese frosting girl myself. Oh yeah, that's horny.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
That's hearty, horny man, all right speaking, I almost was
like and this is this was white noise, But I
forgot that we have finish, like this is the perfect ending.
Well I'll just take a deep breath. So, yes, you
have to pick a winner. I mean, good luck. This
ill became a big free flow conversation.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
This one's really hard because.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
I mean, I do envy you on this one, and.
Speaker 3 (47:53):
I don't know, I might have to say Ryan because
of the personal and also because as someone who who
is one of Ryan's best friends I've watched. I've always
loved him. I'm talking like he's not here, this guy
who ways, there's always been I tell people this all
the time. Rick and James, so my husband and Ryan's husband,
(48:14):
best friends their whole life, thirty something years. And of
course I've always loved James. James has been someone that
I could go to for anything. I've known him since
I was a teenager. But then he met Ryan and
I was like, oh yeah, this one belongs to me.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
Oh this is mine.
Speaker 3 (48:28):
So him and I have this, you know, and we
always just like the boy and we're like, oh, well,
we'll just go on vacation without you, the two.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Of us, like, or we'll go to we don't need you.
Speaker 3 (48:38):
We don't need you guys. So me and Ryan have
always had this connection and I've always loved everything about him.
But watching you in the past year, that's why I cried,
Because watching you in the past year, it's almost like
I'm like, oh my god, he has found himself and
he sees himself the way I see him.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
Oh God, now you're gonna make me cry.
Speaker 3 (48:57):
So you know, you you're now seeing yourself the way
that I hear you when you talk and the way
that I see you when you're out in the world.
So that is what it's about. And I think that's amazing. Man,
You're very luck. I love you.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
I could go cry now. Thank you. Oh.
Speaker 3 (49:20):
Michael's like, oh and that's why always I.
Speaker 4 (49:23):
Can you action And on that note, wow, oh, So
moral of this episode is Ryan, we love you.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
Yeah, I love you. I love both of you so much.
I mean that. I'm so thankful for both of you.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Oh you you are horny. I am actually, So what
is our What is our word for next week?
Speaker 3 (49:52):
So your word is? I texted Ryan. I texted Ryan
before and I was like, can I say like a
brand or is that like infringement? He was like, no,
it's public domain. So I Vans the shoe Vans grant.
Speaker 2 (50:05):
I wonder if there are any of my roof right now?
Speaker 3 (50:07):
Yeah, just go up there in check, do some market research.
I just think it's an interesting because they have a
ton of history and it's I have no joke, probably
twelve to fourteen pairs of Vans.
Speaker 2 (50:19):
Right, great, So well, this is beautiful change. Jordan, Thank
you so much. You're such a rock star.
Speaker 3 (50:24):
Guys, so fun always.
Speaker 1 (50:25):
They're a good one.
Speaker 2 (50:26):
I mean, I think we're all going to go have
a nice little like moment after this and then go
learn about Vans.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
It's gonna be good.
Speaker 3 (50:34):
Yeah, get on it.
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