March 10, 2025 • 36 mins
This week on Whyte Noise: Michael and Ryan explore social nudity with special guest Todd Masterson, who also steps in as guest judge!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It just like took a screen grab of my face.
For some reason.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Riverside does such a great job of figuring just the
worst time. Do you already have questions about your own face? Well,
we're gonna screenshot the worst.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
How can I make you uncomfortable?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Welcome friends to White Noise. I'm Michael. We're joined by Ryan.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
And we have Todd Masterson with us.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Hi, thanks for.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Having me our fabulous guest judge this week.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Everyone. What I think know you and socials is gay
fat friend.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Yeah. I mean that's pretty much my only online presence nowadays.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
I think we're so I texted Michael this morning and
I think we're all brothers in Mayo, which I feels
like a really weird way to put it, but I
think we all love mayonnaise here.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
It's a god to your condiment. Manonnaise can go with everything.
There's nothing that mayonnaise can't do.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I love.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Ryan texted me last night and he was just like,
just ahead of tomorrow's episode, how do you feel about mayonnaise?
And like that's a question.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Do you feel like your mayonnaise sandwich centric or like
salad centric?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Everything all of it dips. It's a It's an amazing
condiment for French fries or any fried food. Really, I'll
dip sometimes I'll feel saucy and just dip a potato
chip in mayonnaise. I just love. Yeah, it's I'm a
very specific, very specific connoissewer of mayonnaise, like like Helman's
(01:28):
slash Best Foods is my number one. Okay, I don't
really like Qube because, like you know, there's different consistencies
of mayonnaise. QUB is more eggs and less oil, and
then like Helman's is kind of a perfect balance of
the two.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
I didn't even know what this mayonnaise was.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
QUB mayonnaise.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Yeah, no, I don't.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
That's the It's the little like red and clear bottle
and it comes in its own like cele a fane package.
It feels like you're opening a present when you get it.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Now, I have to go find it. I just find
this generically. Do you have to buy it online?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Oh no, it's everywhere. It's like Costco grocery stores. A
lot of restaurants serve it now because it's like the
mayonnaise of the moment, you know, the it girl mayonnaise manaise.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I want to be girl mayonnaise.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I know it's it's Japanese Japanese style, which is like
super egg yolkkevyka.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Is it possible it's a very West coast because you're
in Seattle, right.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Yeah, I've been. I've I was in LA for fifteen
years and then I've been here for four so maybe
it did. It did not. It did not rise up
in the ranks until like the last like five years,
because I.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Was going to say, I don't know that I've like
personally seen it, but now I'm going to go look
for it. If not try and buy it online because
now I want to try it.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Yeah. But then, like the other one is Dukes. Everybody's like, oh,
we're a Duke's household, but Duke's uses more oil than eggs.
It's like too much oil, and like when you're eating it,
you're like, especially when you dip a fry in it,
You're like, this just tastes like oil.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
And are you completely opposed to Miracle Whip?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
No?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
I love Miracle a huge fan, but very very specific
instances Miracle Whip. I really only eat on, like when
you have leftover turkey from Thanksgiving and then you do
like the cold leftover turkey the next day. You got
to do like cheap not even cheap, like just like
white you know, basic wonderbread.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I know exactly where you're at.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
A shit ton of miracle whip and then a pile
of like pulled turkey from Thanksgiving. Yes, and then I
like to smash it really flat and then how I
eat it? But yeah, miracle whip with like fresh turkey
is the way to go.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
I'm also a big fan. You gotta put cranberry and
the dressing on it. Like I like to basically take
everything that was at Thanksgiving dinner and put it on
that sandwich. And to your point, it's got to have
a ton of meal on it or miracle whip.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I like to do that. As a burrito, we do
think we do leftover burritos, which just mashed potatoes, greaming casserole,
turkey stuffing wrapped in a tortilla.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Oh my god, you just changed my life.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
And again that might be West Coast. It's it's really
easy to throw stuff in a tortilla here.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I don't know. I lived in La for a while
and now I feel like I've failed as a Semius
coaster because I didn't bring that home, and that feels
like the most important thing I could have learned while
I was there.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Throw it into tortilla.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I know what we'll be doing this summer at some point.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Yeah, that's mayonnaise and tortillas. You can't go wrong.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
That's true. Really, So what we've learned is just mayonnaise
in general. But I didn't realize there were all these
different versions. I feel like I've just always had just
Hellman's was my go to, or I think Wegman's. Wegman's
does a decent mayonnaise. We have Wegman's out here, which
is a grocery store that I'm mildly obsessed with.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I'm also obsessed with grocery stores. I'm literally going to
Trader Joe's and we have fred Meyer, which is on
by Kroger. Yeah, but yeah, right after this, I'm going
to Trader jos and fred Meyer and it's my favorite
thing to do.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So, do you have a favorite grocery store, like if
you could have one on your block? Like, what would
it be?
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Honestly? Like, ralphson Ola was my favorite, which is pretty
much fred Meyer, But there's a there's something different, Like
I don't know if it's because it's Seattle, but up here,
like it's just not the same feeling. But like the
Ralphs some third in Librea in La is like my
happy place. I would go there every day if I
miss That was.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
My grocery store because I lived right near there, and
that is a great Ralphs.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Yeah, best parking lot, right next to a Trader Joe's.
You could drop in an audition for a pretzel commercial
at two hundred South Librea right behind it.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Wait, so did you audition for a pretzel commercial?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I was mostly commercials. I don't think they auditioned like
TV shows there. I think it's literally only commercials. But
it's the big audition office. It's called two hundred South
Librea and it's attached to the Ralphs and so like
if you go in for a commercial audition for anything,
I feel like I auditioned for every product known a man.
You could always go to Ralphs afterwards and buy yourself
a treat.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Is that why you worked at that office or worked
in the office over there, Michael? Was this when you
were casting?
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah? And it's funny because it's working for a casting
director and we're still I don't think it was. It
wasn't that one, but it was right near there. We
rented a small space when we did in person auditions
over there because it's LA so like every space is
an audition space, so it was like a small little
complex where a couple casting directors use. But yeah, it
was I would after work, you could stop and get
like a little tasty tree. We didn't do commercials, but
(06:13):
it's highly likely that somebody in the office was also
doing commercials, so we might have crossed paths.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Who knows, yeah, exactly. I saw Maxine Waters in there
one time during the pandemic, and it was during the pandemic,
so like everybody was masked, and I felt bad because
she probably I mean, I'm six seven and a presence,
and she probably thought I was like gonna hurt her
or something because I kept we kept like making making
eye contact over the produce and stuff, and I was like,
(06:41):
I love her so much. I need I need to
say thank you and that I love you. But also
I realized I was like, oh, I'm a giant man
in a mask. She can't tell what my face is
doing at all. But finally, just in passing, I was like,
excuse me, are you Maxine Waters and she goes yes,
and I was like, I love you so much. Okay,
I have a good day. Bye.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Oh but that's very sweet. I really hope made her day.
In that produce, Aisle.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Well, I'm gonna say, Michael, per usual, we've like launched
into it, and I was like, yeah, we'll introduce the podcast,
which we didn't do.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Say I always do that too. I always forget.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
We're literally the worst host so so far we've lost
the episode. But you have one for bringing up that Ralphs.
We yeah, So we have a topic. We each get
ten minutes to riff un said topic that last week's
judge gave us, and it can be literally like whatever
that topic just made us think of. So, you know,
sometimes we do a deep historical dive. Sometimes it's personal stories.
(07:30):
You never quite know what you're going to get, world
the above or all the above, So each have ten minutes.
At the end, you then choose which one of us
won the world's most like informal ted talk. But that's
that's pretty much it. Ryan, did I miss anything?
Speaker 3 (07:45):
No, I think we're I think we're good to go.
Are you ready for the topic time?
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Yeah? I'm excited.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
We're talking about social nudity today.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Social nudity, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Which is why when he said, how do you feel
about mayonnaise in terms of the top, I was like,
where are we going? Where you related social nudism to maynaise?
If you did, I'm thrilled, Ryan, You'll have combined two
things that I have personally enjoyed at some point in
my life.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I'm very interested to find out what social nudity means.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Then you should probably pick Ryan to go first, because
he typically talks about what things actually are, and then
I tend to just like talk for ten minutes. I
hope for the best.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
So it's Todd who's going first?
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Ryan? I think you need to go first?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Yes, all right, all right, done?
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Okay, Ryan, are you ready?
Speaker 3 (08:34):
I think? So?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Okay, great, your time starts now.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
So, of course I did hop into a little bit
of the history. But generally speaking, social nudity is when
you get together with others without clothing on in a
non sexual way, right, because otherwise it would probably be
an orgy like a nudist college. I just yet like,
(08:59):
so I will part of what I was going to
talk about is like locker rooms, because locker rooms are
probably the most common form of social nudity today, but
I've save that for a minute. I kind of had
a general like, I was like, what's the history of
social nudity?
Speaker 3 (09:16):
And as you think about it now, we have a
lot of controls or like norms around social nudity, and
I'm like, how did we get here? So, I know,
think it's terribly shocking that the Greeks and the Romans
were like, yay naked, and it was really at the
end of I guess the is it the Roman period?
What's there?
Speaker 2 (09:36):
What's their time? I don't know when Italy was like
we got this and then they didn't. But from first
first century BC to fifth century after christ it's at
the end of fifth century that the Romans started to
get a bit more modest and go figure. This coincides
with the expansion of Christianity in the fourth century. And
(09:57):
it also kind of talked about the fact that a
lot of indigenous I don't think that's teribly shocking were
predominantly naked and would only get themselves dressed for you know,
ceremonial reasons or necessity.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
It's cold, right, Christians in the fourth century do their
whole thing. Then we get colonialism, which is where then
European Christians push their values across indigenous cultures worldwide. And
then we get to the probably the lowest point in nudity,
which was the Victorian area in the nineteenth century. So
(10:29):
you you know, it's a time where you can't show
off your ankles, and you've got Lizbethan Collars, and I
think the reality is if you look at a number
of the queens and so on from that period of time,
like even their faces were so covered in makeup, you know,
like there was literally nothing uncovered. And then you get
to like, how did we start to get back or
start to return to maybe where we are today, right?
(10:49):
And I looked up when photography started. First time we
really had photographers, like eighteen twenties, and then early twentieth
century we get into mass media, so now you have
a climate where you can have pictures of nude people
or semi nude people in the privacy of your own home.
(11:10):
So we start to make this kind of return. And
then in the sixties and seventies we get the hippies
and the sexual Revolution, and this is where you start
to see like nudist colonies and other just kind.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Of like okay with nudity, lots of pubic hair, lots
of people. I feel like that was the era of
like that was a really bushy time for everybody.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah, it was like all out.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah, it was like people were naked, but you couldn't
really see anything. You were just like, what's in there?
Speaker 3 (11:36):
That is that a spider's nest? But then we get
to where we are today. So I was talking about
nudity being a bit more regulated, but how we have
certain cultures throughout the world that are a little bit
more cool with it, which is like Germans and Scandinavians.
And this reminded me of a time. So James and
I kind of early on in our relationship, that's my
husband went to Munich and did October five and just
(12:00):
we destroyed ourselves. And then our objective was to get
up to Berlin, and James was like, let's stop at
this crazy bathhouse on our way to Blent. So we
pull off of the out of vond This bathhouse is massive,
It has a wave pool, it has this multi acre
field with all of these little huts that were different
(12:22):
sauna experiences, Like there was like a salt one and
there's a hay one. And the only reason I remember
the hay one because I was like, this is disgusting.
I don't know why anyone enjoys the hot the smell
of hot hay, but I guess there's someone. He does
someone a hay one.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
You had me until like a house ful like yeah,
well we were like I was like, I got it,
that little piggy's house smelled terrible.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yeah, very three little pigs.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Didn't hang out long in that one. But we walk
in and I've got my bathing suit in hand, and
the woman checking us in points at the bathing suit
and goes nine, and I'm like, okay, so I guess
it is what it is. We walk into the locker room,
it's women, children, men, everyone butt ass naked, and then
we're naked and we like roam around. I think the
(13:07):
kind of funny part is that we brought the average
age down from dead. We were like the two youngest people, right.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
That's like my neighborhood.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Yeah so, and then the other like funny memory is
like I remember this like German dude. He was like
the instructor and he had in this TEENI ass little
red speedo but he was doing water aerobics, So it
was all these old people like doing this, like throwing
their hands back and forth in the water, and there's
very long boobs floating in the water. Like it was
(13:36):
all his incredible sort of memory, but maybe one of
the most And you.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Can't get that out of your head.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
No, I will never forget this.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
It's it sounds like the gift that really kept giving.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
It was thank you, thank you to the Germans. Yeah,
but it kind of bridges into the whole. So locker
rooms and like what I would say is probably the
most common form of social nudity and our culture today.
And I started to look at the perspective or like
the continuum of the types of people that you get
(14:10):
in the locker room, and I feel like there's kind
of like four four subtypes. Right. You have your you're
never nude, and this is the individual that always has
on underwear. They shower and underwear, they walk around in
the underwear and you're like, I don't know how that's comfortable.
Why would you? Why are you wearing what underwear? Like
this does make makes no sense to me. You have
(14:32):
the towel tactician, and this is this is the person
that will literally fall over trying to take off clothing
underneath the towel to ensure that you never see anything.
We've all seen this that guy. Actually, I feel like
that's the main thing you see these days. I'm always
like that just looks uncomfortable, and.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
It's like surfers do that. It's very like surfers will
just do it, you know, in a parking lot or
at a beach when they're taking off their wets and stuff,
and they have it down to a heart, down to
a something.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
That makes sense to me because they're out in a
public parking lot, right, that I totally get. But if
you're in like a men's locker room, who cares? Yeah,
Like and this that's what I'm saying. That's where I
kind of fall. Like I wear my towel around. I
don't prants around naked, but like I throw it down
my towel. Also, people who walk around barefoot in any
of these places, I gross. Yeah, But like I take
(15:25):
off my towel, I throw it down so I can
stand on it and I get myself dressed like a
normal person. And then you have the guy who just
runs around naked everywhere all the time, and you're like,
this is a bit much. What's my time to have interest?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Oh two minutes, two and a half.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Oh good, I think that's fairly well timed. So I
worked for out of college. I had an internship in
New Jersey, and I used to get up very early
to make it into the office and would always work
out with kind of the same people. And one of
the people that was always in the gym and always
in the locker room at the same time of me
(16:05):
in this particular sub organization was the head of HR.
So the head of HR was probably, if I had
to gamble the time, in his late thirties to early forties.
He was an incredible shape like muscly, like very clearly
had to focus on fitness in general. And but he
(16:26):
was the guy that you'd walk in and he would
like have his leg up on the bench butt naked,
and and you'd always it was it was always like
like you're like, I guess this is your thing. But
he took it to a new peak for me. The
locker room as it was set up like you would
walk through the door and it was kind of like
a hallway and if you continue on the hallway, you'd
continue around and get to where like the bathroom stalls were.
(16:49):
So there's like a wall there, but then if you
went directly right, there was like a long row where
there were like sinks, a big mirror, and then there
was another wall, and then if you continued on, that
was the large locker room. And so I one morning,
like I think I'm my bathing soon on, I was
headed to go like brought my baby band a towel on,
and I was headed around to like brush my teeth
(17:10):
or shave or something. And I come around and he's
standing at a sink shaving and he's kind of like
leaning in. But where this gets strange is he literally
has his fairly large penis laid out on the countertop
of the of the sink, like the count it was
(17:31):
like lifting. It was like he was like laying there.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Yeah, I mean he's the head of HR. Who are
you supposed to call? Ghostbusters?
Speaker 3 (17:37):
Like what? Well, this isn't like the reflection. I'm like,
was this well? I reflect like was this done for me?
Or was this intended to get the reaction?
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Also like who the hell are you gonna tell? So yeah,
it was one of those things where I still like
another like moment burned into my memory. I'll never remember
coming forget, coming around that corner and seeing that.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
And being like, what the fuck? I think I just
kind of like turned around and backed up, and I
was like, I'm gonna give this a minute because this
is strange. And then I never I didn't tell anyone
until probably like two or three years later, because I
was an intern and I didn't want to risk because
I wanted a job, so I didn't risk I was
going to risk telling anyone and getting in trouble.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Yeah. Well, and like I never know how to read
those situations. I'm so socially like nervous and awkward. I
never know when people are flirting. I never know when
people are initiating like something weird. I never pick up
on I'm so dumb to that. But then I also
my brain goes a mile a minute, and so then
I'm like, wait, is he flirting? Does he want me
to touch it? What are we doing? I don't know
what to do.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Well, that's not fair to you though, if somebody else
already made it weird and then you now feel weird.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Yeah, so he just was shaving, is that what? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:50):
He was just like shaving like he was kind of
like leaned in and completely naked penis laid up on the.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Camp I mean, I'm so I'm closer to a never
knew than I am anything else. But I won't like,
I won't be like the guy that showers in underwear.
I just won't shower in public. I'll be like, oh,
I'm gonna skip it. But yeah, I get cold so easily,
So like, especially when I'm naked, I feel like my
body just like shuts down temperature wise. So I would
(19:16):
never be comfortable fully nude in a situation shaving in
a mirror with my junk on the sink, because I
would be freezing cold.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
That's fair. I hadn't thought about that, But it's probably
not comfortable. You're right, because those countertops are usually kind
of cold, so why would you want to put a
part of your body that has to stay warm? Well?
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Also, is the is the counter clean? Did he wipe
it down when he was when he left? Like, there's
so many figs that come to mind, And also like
to your point, like, I don't know how that was comfortable.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Also, that goes to my theory that you can't eat
dinner at everyone's houses because like, what if he does
that at home in the kitchen. This is dick just
like on the counter when he's like making a salad.
I'm not eating at his house.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
He must have loved I've heard stories about Lyndon B. Johnson,
the President, how famously had like a really really big
penis and when he wanted to like intimidate foreign leaders,
he would whip it out and like put it on
the desk in the Oval office. I don't know if
this is true, that's the rumor, right.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Apparently Milton Burrows did it too.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Milton Burrell did too.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Well.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
If you've seen Milton Brall, I wouldn't be surprised if
he had a big one with.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Giant penis and used to whip it out in meetings
and be.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Like, what do you think of this?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Yeah, but you do imagine like the like you're coming
over so comfortable.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I guess so, and probably doesn't even he might not
even have known his dick was on the counter, And
maybe it was just that's so comfortable in his body
and it was just happening.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
And maybe if it's big, it's kind of heavy, maybe
it's more comfortable to like put the weight.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Somewhere else the support system, you.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Know, you know, maybe never maine him down. And for
a minute, he's like, I just need to lighten a lode,
all right, So I guess I'll give this a whirl.
Where are my notes in all my various pages? Okay, wait,
I got it all right ready, said go Okay, social nudism,
(21:05):
I think it's fun. The first time I personally experienced
social nudism was when I was in college and I
was traveling with friends. We were studying abroad and went
to Barcelona and we wanted to go to the beach
and the guy who ran our Airbnb recommended this great
beach he gotta go, and we go, and it was
a nude beach and he didn't tell us and sort
of ryan same with you. Like me with three of
(21:27):
my good friends. We get off the train and we
go and we like set up our spot on the beach,
and we just like slowly noticed but all at the
same time that everyone around us was naked, and it
was that feeling of like h and we were the weirdos,
Like people were kind of glaring at us to be like,
now you're making us uncomfortable. But again, it was like
grandparents' family's children. Needless to say, we did keep our
(21:49):
swimsuits on because one of our friends, sweet Dan Lovely,
who's an incredibly Christian man, and just couldn't handle it.
But that was my first experience with it, and it
was really awkward, and luckily that changed. Like there's a
new beach in New Jersey that I've been with a
bunch of fried to it and I think it's really fun.
Like I love a nude beach now, it's great.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
A ton in Seattle. I just I learned last summer
that there's nude beaches everywhere.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I think the vibe is very cool. So I was
curious though so there because obviously there must be some benefits.
And it actually made me think of Benjamin Franklin, which
you know, that's an image we all love, is naked
Ben Franklin. I don't know about you. Every day, wake
up and naked Ben Franklin, because he would take air baths,
(22:35):
right like when he was our ambassador to France. He
discovered the joy of air baths, which he would do
every morning because he believed it, you know, helped, It
was a good way to start his day, and he
believed it had all these health benefits. So he would
sit naked next to an open window or stand naked
(22:57):
next to an open window for at least half an hour,
and that's when he would do his most sort of
like deep thinking for the morning, to be like what
do I have to do today? And how am I
going to work through it? And he found that that
really helped him no matter the temperature, although he did
find that colder temperatures were slightly more difficult. And I
could see how that would really wake you up for
the day. I mean, you could have a cup of
coffee your stand next to like a stiff breeze.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Well, it's like the polar plunge that everyone does now
after exactly.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
And so I actually looked into this as far as
like the health benefits of outdoor nudism, and it was interesting.
There is the one thing I read that there is
a direct correlation between communities who would go outside naked
in the cold, and they would do it for all
the same reasons that now people do ice bats, very similar,
(23:45):
but there are actual health reasons. I wrote a couple
of them down. The first big one shouldn't surprise anybody.
It boosts your vitamin D. If it's too cold, it
doesn't boost my vitamin D. If you're group, you're gonna
see a lot of vitamin D. So it naturally obviously
because you take it in through your skin. So the
(24:06):
more skin that's exposed, the more vitamin D you can
take in, which is also a mood enhancer. So it
is a great way to like, if you were to
do that first thing in the morning, it's a natural
like mood booster, which is kind of nice. Detoxifies your
skin and also helps improve circulation. Actually, which I did
not know is like giving your skin this much like
(24:28):
a much greater amount of sun can help improve your circulation.
If you're sweating, Obviously it's much better to be naked
than to have clothes because a it's not going to
irritate your skin so much. Also, apparently there are toxins
in your sweat, which I didn't know that. Then if
you're wearing clothes, your body then reabsorbs and there's a
reason you're releasing them. So there's that Sleeping naked is
(24:52):
obviously very good for you because your body temperature. Your
body is an easier time regulating your temperature and ideally
you want to be cooler. Also, it promotes genital health
and vaginal flora, specifically for people with vaginas. It's apparently
very good to air out one's vagina at least once
(25:13):
a day.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
I didn't. Yeah, you're supposed to like get like ten
minutes of direct sun can contact on your genital's a
day or something else. Yeah, because yes, that's a thing.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Yeah, it helps with the growth of good bacteria, and
then it helps your body get rid of bad bacteria,
because bad bacteria can build up down there obviously very easily,
no matter what genitalia you happen to have. So it's
so Ben Franklin was like onto something there, which I
think is just great. I think maybe we should all
bring this back and be more like European and Scandinavian
(25:45):
countries because in America were such prudes with this and
when you read about this, Ryan, you're right, like Germany
is one of the countries that sort of is one
of the leading like newdest Uh where it's so socially acceptable,
and I feel like many countries, like I remember being
in Turkey and going to my first like it was
Turkey and then Hungry where I went to like baths
(26:07):
and you're like everyone's just running around naked. So the
other big thing that's really good with this is also
psychological benefits of everything I read was that actually the
psychological benefit of social nudism is even better than the
physical ones because if you see more and every every
I read multiple articles, all of them phrase it quote
(26:29):
unquote if you see more normal bodies, Yeah, that means
to you it boosts your self esteem because we do
obviously live in an age where typically the only semi
clothed or naked bodies you see are a certain body
type and for the most part in like general mass media.
(26:50):
So if you are routinely exposed to other naked bodies
of all various shape, sizes, ages, it makes you feel
much better about your And they've done a lot of studies.
They did one a couple of years ago that I
read about with like almost eight hundred people that they
interviewed them before about their body image, and then they
went to multiple nude events like social nude events, and
(27:12):
then talk to them after, and every single one their
body image had improved just because they felt more comfortable
in their skin. So I thought that I was just like, Okay,
so this is actually like it's good for you to
go and just like be around a bunch of naked
people and be like, here we are, and you know what,
my body's beautiful just the way it is, You're less
likely to focus on the negatives and focus more than positives.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Part of my thing, too, is like, I'll take my
shirt off anywhere. I'll take my shirt off in a
grocery store. I don't care.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Is that what you're going to do this afternoon?
Speaker 1 (27:37):
It's yeah, topless trader Joe's. That's what I do on Saturdays.
Nice because that's how I am too. I'm just like,
you know, everybody should be seen, but I just don't
want to. I just don't want to, like from the
waist down, n I don't want to go completely nude.
That's where I draw a line.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
That's fair. But yeah, I was like, oh, so here
we go. So there are good things then, So the
Ben Franklin thing, I don't know how much time I have,
oh two, Bennett, thirty seconds. Oh okay, because you've been
both checked in at the same time. Look at that.
To be fair, the naked Ben Franklin then took me
to a place that is not really about social nudism.
It's literally Orgies, but it was fascinating, So sar, I'm
(28:17):
gonna take us a little love topic for a hot second.
But I learned about the hell Fire Club. Have you
ever heard of this?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
No?
Speaker 2 (28:24):
No, I had not, but just in case, I don't know,
you're a major like history nerd. So Ben Franklin apparently,
because he talked a lot about being naked, then people
were like, well, what else was he into? While he
was in France and while he was bubopping around Europe,
and he obviously like he went to a lot of orgies.
They were popular at the time. I think they've just
(28:45):
always been popular. But he for sure, they can't prove it,
but was probably part of this group called the hell
Fire Club. It was started in the early seventeen hundreds
by Lord Wharton, the Duke of George. But the one
who really like made it a thing was this guy,
Sir Francis Deshwood, who is famously a rake of his time.
(29:07):
He was very wealthy and he would have these things
and basically what they would do and it was the
most It was for the wealthiest, most influential people and
they would get together. He refurbished an abbey, like he
turned this crumbly Gothic abbey into their club, where he
had pornographic stained glass windows, made an entire library of
(29:31):
early seventeen hundreds porn, which is hysterical if you ever
read it. It's like he grasped me in the place
that makes me different from a man. And I could
sense that his thick white liquid was brewing beneath, like
it's the weirdest stuff you'll ever read. So he stocked
the library.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
He was the ditty of his time.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
He was, though, and that was my thought, the helper coup.
These were literally the ditty parties of Europe of the
early seventeen hundreds. So you would wear a red cloak
and take a little fairy across to this gothic structure,
and all the men had to be in these sort
of like monks cloaks, and they each had to bring
a woman of a positive disposition to add to the hilarity,
as they put it. And these were usually women of
(30:13):
society who would wear masks and dressed like nuns anyway,
So they would do they would yeah, essentially, and they
all wore masks, and they would do these like pseudo
satanic rituals, but they didn't actually believe in Satan. They
just sort of made fun of them, and then like
craziness would ensue. But for sure Ben Franklin was there
because then eventually people got wind of this because somebody
(30:34):
wrote a book about it, and so people would go
to the abbey to like watch the boats cross, and
spectators would try and guess who was dressed, like who
was there. So then this guy, Lord Dashwood, had caves
beneath his manor house and he started hosting them there. Wow,
but there's one great story. Sorry, and no we went
over time, but one where I believe it was the
(30:56):
Earl of Sandwich, one of the major players the time
it went. He got bored during the rituals part because
they would start it with these like faux Satanic rituals,
but they were meant to kind of make fun of
real Satanists, where they would like do shots out of
women's belly buttons and like light things on fire. So
he thought that part of the process was really boring,
(31:17):
and so he decided to actually spook them. So he
somehow got his hands on a baboon and he put
it in a trunk and put like a demon mask
on it, and then he somehow got it in and
then at a point where they like lit the fires
and were like summoning Satan in whatever goofy way that
they did, he opened the trunk and released the baboon
and it like went nuts on the party. No, that's
(31:41):
where somebody else brought it, because that's what it was.
The Earl of Sandwich had a quote that was like, demon, No,
if I thought we were going to rise the I
would never have come like so people lost their minds.
They were beset upon by a demon baboon that was
really confused. It broke out through one of the pornographic
stained glass windows and was never seen again. My godon,
but can you imagine you go to a park. This
poor baboon did not sign up to go to, you know,
(32:03):
an Edwardian orgy for Georgian orgy, but there it was anyway,
So that's that has nothing to do with social nudism,
only pure orgies. But I blame Ben Franklin for taking
us there, all right. Anyway, So now you get to
choose a winner.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
I guess I would. I'd probably have to say Ryan,
because you had a very good succinct history with personal anecdotes.
So yeah, thank.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
You, yay, Well, appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Yeah, and you know that's because you had to go
through that whole HR debacle in the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Oh man. All right, so and now you get to
give us our topic for next week.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Well, I feel like we already talked about it, but
I think I think grocery stores has to be the
topic next week. Yes, I think like your favorite your
favorite stores, your favorite time to shop, your favorite thing
to buy. Or do you hate grocery store? I know
people that are just like vehemently will not step foot
in a grocery store. Do it all via like Postmates
(33:08):
or whatever. Now do you hate self checkout? I mean
I could literally write a textbook on grocery stores. I'm
obsessed with them.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
You know, our Wagmans are Wigman's in Ocean used to
have the app and you could scan your groceries as
you put them into the thing, and then you would
just go to the cash resist and tap tap and
it would be like boom.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Yeah in charge think Walmart does that now?
Speaker 3 (33:30):
Well, apparently getting Wegmans was getting ropped blind with it.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
And I've never understood self checkout. See you're gonna get
me going?
Speaker 2 (33:39):
See I go with you on that. Though I don't
like self checkout, I would much rather have a cashier.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
I honestly think self checkout is one of the main
reasons why grocery prices are so high today is because
so much theft happens at self checkout. It's insane, Like.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
I believe so much theft. I bought clothes recently at
a store that had self checkout, and I was just
like what it was? It was like it was I
was at the mall. What's that the company? Uh, not
Super Dry? What's it called Unicle, Uniglow? It is Uniglow
And they have those bins where you drop your clothes.
(34:13):
It's supposed to weigh them. I don't know. I was
so confused by the whole process. I almost accidentally stole something.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
I accident. I have accidentally stolen itself check out before,
and I just won't do it. Like I bought a
lamp one time. Apparently the shade was separate and I
didn't realize that, but like I got home and there
was like a separate price tag on the lamp shade
and I was like, I did not scan this or
pay for it. I just totally stole.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Wow An accidental pilferer.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Oh man, all right, Well on that note, this was
so much fun. Thank you so much, Thanks.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
So much for having me. This was fun.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Oh I was gonna say, we were going to talk
about it. Michael, you did kind of end up losing
last week even though you won.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Oh, that's right, that's right. I do own apology. I
won last week by telling a story which I've told before,
which I mean I forgot. To be fair, it was like, literally,
I think the first or second episode we ever did,
I told the story, and I have the memory of
a goldfish, and so it's been like a year now,
I think, and I fully forgot and told the story
(35:12):
again like it was brand new. And Ryan and I won,
and he was like, you do know you've told that story.
But also, to be fair, I lost the first time
I told it, so finally, but to be fair, yes,
that win has been rescinded, as I.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Feel like that is now you lost your crown.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
I know.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
I offered to give the crown back since I feel
like that is cheating to just tell the same story
multiple times until I finally win with it.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
It's like Vanessa.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Williams, Yeah, poor Vanessa, Williams. She did okay though.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Yeah. She she came out at the top of the
air
Speaker 2 (36:00):
At t and Un
It just like took a screen grab of my face.
For some reason.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Riverside does such a great job of figuring just the
worst time. Do you already have questions about your own face? Well,
we're gonna screenshot the worst.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
How can I make you uncomfortable?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Welcome friends to White Noise. I'm Michael. We're joined by Ryan.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
And we have Todd Masterson with us.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Hi, thanks for.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Having me our fabulous guest judge this week.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Everyone. What I think know you and socials is gay
fat friend.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Yeah. I mean that's pretty much my only online presence nowadays.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
I think we're so I texted Michael this morning and
I think we're all brothers in Mayo, which I feels
like a really weird way to put it, but I
think we all love mayonnaise here.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
It's a god to your condiment. Manonnaise can go with everything.
There's nothing that mayonnaise can't do.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I love.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Ryan texted me last night and he was just like,
just ahead of tomorrow's episode, how do you feel about mayonnaise?
And like that's a question.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Do you feel like your mayonnaise sandwich centric or like
salad centric?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Everything all of it dips. It's a It's an amazing
condiment for French fries or any fried food. Really, I'll
dip sometimes I'll feel saucy and just dip a potato
chip in mayonnaise. I just love. Yeah, it's I'm a
very specific, very specific connoissewer of mayonnaise, like like Helman's
(01:28):
slash Best Foods is my number one. Okay, I don't
really like Qube because, like you know, there's different consistencies
of mayonnaise. QUB is more eggs and less oil, and
then like Helman's is kind of a perfect balance of
the two.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
I didn't even know what this mayonnaise was.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
QUB mayonnaise.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Yeah, no, I don't.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
That's the It's the little like red and clear bottle
and it comes in its own like cele a fane package.
It feels like you're opening a present when you get it.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Now, I have to go find it. I just find
this generically. Do you have to buy it online?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Oh no, it's everywhere. It's like Costco grocery stores. A
lot of restaurants serve it now because it's like the
mayonnaise of the moment, you know, the it girl mayonnaise manaise.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I want to be girl mayonnaise.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I know it's it's Japanese Japanese style, which is like
super egg yolkkevyka.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Is it possible it's a very West coast because you're
in Seattle, right.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Yeah, I've been. I've I was in LA for fifteen
years and then I've been here for four so maybe
it did. It did not. It did not rise up
in the ranks until like the last like five years,
because I.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Was going to say, I don't know that I've like
personally seen it, but now I'm going to go look
for it. If not try and buy it online because
now I want to try it.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Yeah. But then, like the other one is Dukes. Everybody's like, oh,
we're a Duke's household, but Duke's uses more oil than eggs.
It's like too much oil, and like when you're eating it,
you're like, especially when you dip a fry in it,
You're like, this just tastes like oil.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
And are you completely opposed to Miracle Whip?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
No?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
I love Miracle a huge fan, but very very specific
instances Miracle Whip. I really only eat on, like when
you have leftover turkey from Thanksgiving and then you do
like the cold leftover turkey the next day. You got
to do like cheap not even cheap, like just like
white you know, basic wonderbread.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I know exactly where you're at.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
A shit ton of miracle whip and then a pile
of like pulled turkey from Thanksgiving. Yes, and then I
like to smash it really flat and then how I
eat it? But yeah, miracle whip with like fresh turkey
is the way to go.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
I'm also a big fan. You gotta put cranberry and
the dressing on it. Like I like to basically take
everything that was at Thanksgiving dinner and put it on
that sandwich. And to your point, it's got to have
a ton of meal on it or miracle whip.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I like to do that. As a burrito, we do
think we do leftover burritos, which just mashed potatoes, greaming casserole,
turkey stuffing wrapped in a tortilla.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Oh my god, you just changed my life.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
And again that might be West Coast. It's it's really
easy to throw stuff in a tortilla here.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I don't know. I lived in La for a while
and now I feel like I've failed as a Semius
coaster because I didn't bring that home, and that feels
like the most important thing I could have learned while
I was there.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Throw it into tortilla.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I know what we'll be doing this summer at some point.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Yeah, that's mayonnaise and tortillas. You can't go wrong.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
That's true. Really, So what we've learned is just mayonnaise
in general. But I didn't realize there were all these
different versions. I feel like I've just always had just
Hellman's was my go to, or I think Wegman's. Wegman's
does a decent mayonnaise. We have Wegman's out here, which
is a grocery store that I'm mildly obsessed with.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I'm also obsessed with grocery stores. I'm literally going to
Trader Joe's and we have fred Meyer, which is on
by Kroger. Yeah, but yeah, right after this, I'm going
to Trader jos and fred Meyer and it's my favorite
thing to do.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So, do you have a favorite grocery store, like if
you could have one on your block? Like, what would
it be?
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Honestly? Like, ralphson Ola was my favorite, which is pretty
much fred Meyer, But there's a there's something different, Like
I don't know if it's because it's Seattle, but up here,
like it's just not the same feeling. But like the
Ralphs some third in Librea in La is like my
happy place. I would go there every day if I
miss That was.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
My grocery store because I lived right near there, and
that is a great Ralphs.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Yeah, best parking lot, right next to a Trader Joe's.
You could drop in an audition for a pretzel commercial
at two hundred South Librea right behind it.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Wait, so did you audition for a pretzel commercial?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I was mostly commercials. I don't think they auditioned like
TV shows there. I think it's literally only commercials. But
it's the big audition office. It's called two hundred South
Librea and it's attached to the Ralphs and so like
if you go in for a commercial audition for anything,
I feel like I auditioned for every product known a man.
You could always go to Ralphs afterwards and buy yourself
a treat.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Is that why you worked at that office or worked
in the office over there, Michael? Was this when you
were casting?
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah? And it's funny because it's working for a casting
director and we're still I don't think it was. It
wasn't that one, but it was right near there. We
rented a small space when we did in person auditions
over there because it's LA so like every space is
an audition space, so it was like a small little
complex where a couple casting directors use. But yeah, it
was I would after work, you could stop and get
like a little tasty tree. We didn't do commercials, but
(06:13):
it's highly likely that somebody in the office was also
doing commercials, so we might have crossed paths.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Who knows, yeah, exactly. I saw Maxine Waters in there
one time during the pandemic, and it was during the pandemic,
so like everybody was masked, and I felt bad because
she probably I mean, I'm six seven and a presence,
and she probably thought I was like gonna hurt her
or something because I kept we kept like making making
eye contact over the produce and stuff, and I was like,
(06:41):
I love her so much. I need I need to
say thank you and that I love you. But also
I realized I was like, oh, I'm a giant man
in a mask. She can't tell what my face is
doing at all. But finally, just in passing, I was like,
excuse me, are you Maxine Waters and she goes yes,
and I was like, I love you so much. Okay,
I have a good day. Bye.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Oh but that's very sweet. I really hope made her day.
In that produce, Aisle.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Well, I'm gonna say, Michael, per usual, we've like launched
into it, and I was like, yeah, we'll introduce the podcast,
which we didn't do.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Say I always do that too. I always forget.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
We're literally the worst host so so far we've lost
the episode. But you have one for bringing up that Ralphs.
We yeah, So we have a topic. We each get
ten minutes to riff un said topic that last week's
judge gave us, and it can be literally like whatever
that topic just made us think of. So, you know,
sometimes we do a deep historical dive. Sometimes it's personal stories.
(07:30):
You never quite know what you're going to get, world
the above or all the above, So each have ten minutes.
At the end, you then choose which one of us
won the world's most like informal ted talk. But that's
that's pretty much it. Ryan, did I miss anything?
Speaker 3 (07:45):
No, I think we're I think we're good to go.
Are you ready for the topic time?
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Yeah? I'm excited.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
We're talking about social nudity today.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Social nudity, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Which is why when he said, how do you feel
about mayonnaise in terms of the top, I was like,
where are we going? Where you related social nudism to maynaise?
If you did, I'm thrilled, Ryan, You'll have combined two
things that I have personally enjoyed at some point in
my life.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I'm very interested to find out what social nudity means.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Then you should probably pick Ryan to go first, because
he typically talks about what things actually are, and then
I tend to just like talk for ten minutes. I
hope for the best.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
So it's Todd who's going first?
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Ryan? I think you need to go first?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Yes, all right, all right, done?
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Okay, Ryan, are you ready?
Speaker 3 (08:34):
I think? So?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Okay, great, your time starts now.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
So, of course I did hop into a little bit
of the history. But generally speaking, social nudity is when
you get together with others without clothing on in a
non sexual way, right, because otherwise it would probably be
an orgy like a nudist college. I just yet like,
(08:59):
so I will part of what I was going to
talk about is like locker rooms, because locker rooms are
probably the most common form of social nudity today, but
I've save that for a minute. I kind of had
a general like, I was like, what's the history of
social nudity?
Speaker 3 (09:16):
And as you think about it now, we have a
lot of controls or like norms around social nudity, and
I'm like, how did we get here? So, I know,
think it's terribly shocking that the Greeks and the Romans
were like, yay naked, and it was really at the
end of I guess the is it the Roman period?
What's there?
Speaker 2 (09:36):
What's their time? I don't know when Italy was like
we got this and then they didn't. But from first
first century BC to fifth century after christ it's at
the end of fifth century that the Romans started to
get a bit more modest and go figure. This coincides
with the expansion of Christianity in the fourth century. And
(09:57):
it also kind of talked about the fact that a
lot of indigenous I don't think that's teribly shocking were
predominantly naked and would only get themselves dressed for you know,
ceremonial reasons or necessity.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
It's cold, right, Christians in the fourth century do their
whole thing. Then we get colonialism, which is where then
European Christians push their values across indigenous cultures worldwide. And
then we get to the probably the lowest point in nudity,
which was the Victorian area in the nineteenth century. So
(10:29):
you you know, it's a time where you can't show
off your ankles, and you've got Lizbethan Collars, and I
think the reality is if you look at a number
of the queens and so on from that period of time,
like even their faces were so covered in makeup, you know,
like there was literally nothing uncovered. And then you get
to like, how did we start to get back or
start to return to maybe where we are today, right?
(10:49):
And I looked up when photography started. First time we
really had photographers, like eighteen twenties, and then early twentieth
century we get into mass media, so now you have
a climate where you can have pictures of nude people
or semi nude people in the privacy of your own home.
(11:10):
So we start to make this kind of return. And
then in the sixties and seventies we get the hippies
and the sexual Revolution, and this is where you start
to see like nudist colonies and other just kind.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Of like okay with nudity, lots of pubic hair, lots
of people. I feel like that was the era of
like that was a really bushy time for everybody.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah, it was like all out.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah, it was like people were naked, but you couldn't
really see anything. You were just like, what's in there?
Speaker 3 (11:36):
That is that a spider's nest? But then we get
to where we are today. So I was talking about
nudity being a bit more regulated, but how we have
certain cultures throughout the world that are a little bit
more cool with it, which is like Germans and Scandinavians.
And this reminded me of a time. So James and
I kind of early on in our relationship, that's my
husband went to Munich and did October five and just
(12:00):
we destroyed ourselves. And then our objective was to get
up to Berlin, and James was like, let's stop at
this crazy bathhouse on our way to Blent. So we
pull off of the out of vond This bathhouse is massive,
It has a wave pool, it has this multi acre
field with all of these little huts that were different
(12:22):
sauna experiences, Like there was like a salt one and
there's a hay one. And the only reason I remember
the hay one because I was like, this is disgusting.
I don't know why anyone enjoys the hot the smell
of hot hay, but I guess there's someone. He does
someone a hay one.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
You had me until like a house ful like yeah,
well we were like I was like, I got it,
that little piggy's house smelled terrible.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yeah, very three little pigs.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Didn't hang out long in that one. But we walk
in and I've got my bathing suit in hand, and
the woman checking us in points at the bathing suit
and goes nine, and I'm like, okay, so I guess
it is what it is. We walk into the locker room,
it's women, children, men, everyone butt ass naked, and then
we're naked and we like roam around. I think the
(13:07):
kind of funny part is that we brought the average
age down from dead. We were like the two youngest people, right.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
That's like my neighborhood.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Yeah so, and then the other like funny memory is
like I remember this like German dude. He was like
the instructor and he had in this TEENI ass little
red speedo but he was doing water aerobics, So it
was all these old people like doing this, like throwing
their hands back and forth in the water, and there's
very long boobs floating in the water. Like it was
(13:36):
all his incredible sort of memory, but maybe one of
the most And you.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Can't get that out of your head.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
No, I will never forget this.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
It's it sounds like the gift that really kept giving.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
It was thank you, thank you to the Germans. Yeah,
but it kind of bridges into the whole. So locker
rooms and like what I would say is probably the
most common form of social nudity and our culture today.
And I started to look at the perspective or like
the continuum of the types of people that you get
(14:10):
in the locker room, and I feel like there's kind
of like four four subtypes. Right. You have your you're
never nude, and this is the individual that always has
on underwear. They shower and underwear, they walk around in
the underwear and you're like, I don't know how that's comfortable.
Why would you? Why are you wearing what underwear? Like
this does make makes no sense to me. You have
(14:32):
the towel tactician, and this is this is the person
that will literally fall over trying to take off clothing
underneath the towel to ensure that you never see anything.
We've all seen this that guy. Actually, I feel like
that's the main thing you see these days. I'm always
like that just looks uncomfortable, and.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
It's like surfers do that. It's very like surfers will
just do it, you know, in a parking lot or
at a beach when they're taking off their wets and stuff,
and they have it down to a heart, down to
a something.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
That makes sense to me because they're out in a
public parking lot, right, that I totally get. But if
you're in like a men's locker room, who cares? Yeah,
Like and this that's what I'm saying. That's where I
kind of fall. Like I wear my towel around. I
don't prants around naked, but like I throw it down
my towel. Also, people who walk around barefoot in any
of these places, I gross. Yeah, But like I take
(15:25):
off my towel, I throw it down so I can
stand on it and I get myself dressed like a
normal person. And then you have the guy who just
runs around naked everywhere all the time, and you're like,
this is a bit much. What's my time to have interest?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Oh two minutes, two and a half.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Oh good, I think that's fairly well timed. So I
worked for out of college. I had an internship in
New Jersey, and I used to get up very early
to make it into the office and would always work
out with kind of the same people. And one of
the people that was always in the gym and always
in the locker room at the same time of me
(16:05):
in this particular sub organization was the head of HR.
So the head of HR was probably, if I had
to gamble the time, in his late thirties to early forties.
He was an incredible shape like muscly, like very clearly
had to focus on fitness in general. And but he
(16:26):
was the guy that you'd walk in and he would
like have his leg up on the bench butt naked,
and and you'd always it was it was always like
like you're like, I guess this is your thing. But
he took it to a new peak for me. The
locker room as it was set up like you would
walk through the door and it was kind of like
a hallway and if you continue on the hallway, you'd
continue around and get to where like the bathroom stalls were.
(16:49):
So there's like a wall there, but then if you
went directly right, there was like a long row where
there were like sinks, a big mirror, and then there
was another wall, and then if you continued on, that
was the large locker room. And so I one morning,
like I think I'm my bathing soon on, I was
headed to go like brought my baby band a towel on,
and I was headed around to like brush my teeth
(17:10):
or shave or something. And I come around and he's
standing at a sink shaving and he's kind of like
leaning in. But where this gets strange is he literally
has his fairly large penis laid out on the countertop
of the of the sink, like the count it was
(17:31):
like lifting. It was like he was like laying there.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Yeah, I mean he's the head of HR. Who are
you supposed to call? Ghostbusters?
Speaker 3 (17:37):
Like what? Well, this isn't like the reflection. I'm like,
was this well? I reflect like was this done for me?
Or was this intended to get the reaction?
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Also like who the hell are you gonna tell? So yeah,
it was one of those things where I still like
another like moment burned into my memory. I'll never remember
coming forget, coming around that corner and seeing that.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
And being like, what the fuck? I think I just
kind of like turned around and backed up, and I
was like, I'm gonna give this a minute because this
is strange. And then I never I didn't tell anyone
until probably like two or three years later, because I
was an intern and I didn't want to risk because
I wanted a job, so I didn't risk I was
going to risk telling anyone and getting in trouble.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Yeah. Well, and like I never know how to read
those situations. I'm so socially like nervous and awkward. I
never know when people are flirting. I never know when
people are initiating like something weird. I never pick up
on I'm so dumb to that. But then I also
my brain goes a mile a minute, and so then
I'm like, wait, is he flirting? Does he want me
to touch it? What are we doing? I don't know
what to do.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Well, that's not fair to you though, if somebody else
already made it weird and then you now feel weird.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Yeah, so he just was shaving, is that what? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:50):
He was just like shaving like he was kind of
like leaned in and completely naked penis laid up on the.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Camp I mean, I'm so I'm closer to a never
knew than I am anything else. But I won't like,
I won't be like the guy that showers in underwear.
I just won't shower in public. I'll be like, oh,
I'm gonna skip it. But yeah, I get cold so easily,
So like, especially when I'm naked, I feel like my
body just like shuts down temperature wise. So I would
(19:16):
never be comfortable fully nude in a situation shaving in
a mirror with my junk on the sink, because I
would be freezing cold.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
That's fair. I hadn't thought about that, But it's probably
not comfortable. You're right, because those countertops are usually kind
of cold, so why would you want to put a
part of your body that has to stay warm? Well?
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Also, is the is the counter clean? Did he wipe
it down when he was when he left? Like, there's
so many figs that come to mind, And also like
to your point, like, I don't know how that was comfortable.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Also, that goes to my theory that you can't eat
dinner at everyone's houses because like, what if he does
that at home in the kitchen. This is dick just
like on the counter when he's like making a salad.
I'm not eating at his house.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
He must have loved I've heard stories about Lyndon B. Johnson,
the President, how famously had like a really really big
penis and when he wanted to like intimidate foreign leaders,
he would whip it out and like put it on
the desk in the Oval office. I don't know if
this is true, that's the rumor, right.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Apparently Milton Burrows did it too.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Milton Burrell did too.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Well.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
If you've seen Milton Brall, I wouldn't be surprised if
he had a big one with.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Giant penis and used to whip it out in meetings
and be.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Like, what do you think of this?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Yeah, but you do imagine like the like you're coming
over so comfortable.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I guess so, and probably doesn't even he might not
even have known his dick was on the counter, And
maybe it was just that's so comfortable in his body
and it was just happening.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
And maybe if it's big, it's kind of heavy, maybe
it's more comfortable to like put the weight.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Somewhere else the support system, you.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Know, you know, maybe never maine him down. And for
a minute, he's like, I just need to lighten a lode,
all right, So I guess I'll give this a whirl.
Where are my notes in all my various pages? Okay, wait,
I got it all right ready, said go Okay, social nudism,
(21:05):
I think it's fun. The first time I personally experienced
social nudism was when I was in college and I
was traveling with friends. We were studying abroad and went
to Barcelona and we wanted to go to the beach
and the guy who ran our Airbnb recommended this great
beach he gotta go, and we go, and it was
a nude beach and he didn't tell us and sort
of ryan same with you. Like me with three of
(21:27):
my good friends. We get off the train and we
go and we like set up our spot on the beach,
and we just like slowly noticed but all at the
same time that everyone around us was naked, and it
was that feeling of like h and we were the weirdos,
Like people were kind of glaring at us to be like,
now you're making us uncomfortable. But again, it was like
grandparents' family's children. Needless to say, we did keep our
(21:49):
swimsuits on because one of our friends, sweet Dan Lovely,
who's an incredibly Christian man, and just couldn't handle it.
But that was my first experience with it, and it
was really awkward, and luckily that changed. Like there's a
new beach in New Jersey that I've been with a
bunch of fried to it and I think it's really fun.
Like I love a nude beach now, it's great.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
A ton in Seattle. I just I learned last summer
that there's nude beaches everywhere.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I think the vibe is very cool. So I was
curious though so there because obviously there must be some benefits.
And it actually made me think of Benjamin Franklin, which
you know, that's an image we all love, is naked
Ben Franklin. I don't know about you. Every day, wake
up and naked Ben Franklin, because he would take air baths,
(22:35):
right like when he was our ambassador to France. He
discovered the joy of air baths, which he would do
every morning because he believed it, you know, helped, It
was a good way to start his day, and he
believed it had all these health benefits. So he would
sit naked next to an open window or stand naked
(22:57):
next to an open window for at least half an hour,
and that's when he would do his most sort of
like deep thinking for the morning, to be like what
do I have to do today? And how am I
going to work through it? And he found that that
really helped him no matter the temperature, although he did
find that colder temperatures were slightly more difficult. And I
could see how that would really wake you up for
the day. I mean, you could have a cup of
coffee your stand next to like a stiff breeze.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Well, it's like the polar plunge that everyone does now
after exactly.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
And so I actually looked into this as far as
like the health benefits of outdoor nudism, and it was interesting.
There is the one thing I read that there is
a direct correlation between communities who would go outside naked
in the cold, and they would do it for all
the same reasons that now people do ice bats, very similar,
(23:45):
but there are actual health reasons. I wrote a couple
of them down. The first big one shouldn't surprise anybody.
It boosts your vitamin D. If it's too cold, it
doesn't boost my vitamin D. If you're group, you're gonna
see a lot of vitamin D. So it naturally obviously
because you take it in through your skin. So the
(24:06):
more skin that's exposed, the more vitamin D you can
take in, which is also a mood enhancer. So it
is a great way to like, if you were to
do that first thing in the morning, it's a natural
like mood booster, which is kind of nice. Detoxifies your
skin and also helps improve circulation. Actually, which I did
not know is like giving your skin this much like
(24:28):
a much greater amount of sun can help improve your circulation.
If you're sweating, Obviously it's much better to be naked
than to have clothes because a it's not going to
irritate your skin so much. Also, apparently there are toxins
in your sweat, which I didn't know that. Then if
you're wearing clothes, your body then reabsorbs and there's a
reason you're releasing them. So there's that Sleeping naked is
(24:52):
obviously very good for you because your body temperature. Your
body is an easier time regulating your temperature and ideally
you want to be cooler. Also, it promotes genital health
and vaginal flora, specifically for people with vaginas. It's apparently
very good to air out one's vagina at least once
(25:13):
a day.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
I didn't. Yeah, you're supposed to like get like ten
minutes of direct sun can contact on your genital's a
day or something else. Yeah, because yes, that's a thing.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Yeah, it helps with the growth of good bacteria, and
then it helps your body get rid of bad bacteria,
because bad bacteria can build up down there obviously very easily,
no matter what genitalia you happen to have. So it's
so Ben Franklin was like onto something there, which I
think is just great. I think maybe we should all
bring this back and be more like European and Scandinavian
(25:45):
countries because in America were such prudes with this and
when you read about this, Ryan, you're right, like Germany
is one of the countries that sort of is one
of the leading like newdest Uh where it's so socially acceptable,
and I feel like many countries, like I remember being
in Turkey and going to my first like it was
Turkey and then Hungry where I went to like baths
(26:07):
and you're like everyone's just running around naked. So the
other big thing that's really good with this is also
psychological benefits of everything I read was that actually the
psychological benefit of social nudism is even better than the
physical ones because if you see more and every every
I read multiple articles, all of them phrase it quote
(26:29):
unquote if you see more normal bodies, Yeah, that means
to you it boosts your self esteem because we do
obviously live in an age where typically the only semi
clothed or naked bodies you see are a certain body
type and for the most part in like general mass media.
(26:50):
So if you are routinely exposed to other naked bodies
of all various shape, sizes, ages, it makes you feel
much better about your And they've done a lot of studies.
They did one a couple of years ago that I
read about with like almost eight hundred people that they
interviewed them before about their body image, and then they
went to multiple nude events like social nude events, and
(27:12):
then talk to them after, and every single one their
body image had improved just because they felt more comfortable
in their skin. So I thought that I was just like, Okay,
so this is actually like it's good for you to
go and just like be around a bunch of naked
people and be like, here we are, and you know what,
my body's beautiful just the way it is, You're less
likely to focus on the negatives and focus more than positives.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Part of my thing, too, is like, I'll take my
shirt off anywhere. I'll take my shirt off in a
grocery store. I don't care.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Is that what you're going to do this afternoon?
Speaker 1 (27:37):
It's yeah, topless trader Joe's. That's what I do on Saturdays.
Nice because that's how I am too. I'm just like,
you know, everybody should be seen, but I just don't
want to. I just don't want to, like from the
waist down, n I don't want to go completely nude.
That's where I draw a line.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
That's fair. But yeah, I was like, oh, so here
we go. So there are good things then, So the
Ben Franklin thing, I don't know how much time I have,
oh two, Bennett, thirty seconds. Oh okay, because you've been
both checked in at the same time. Look at that.
To be fair, the naked Ben Franklin then took me
to a place that is not really about social nudism.
It's literally Orgies, but it was fascinating, So sar, I'm
(28:17):
gonna take us a little love topic for a hot second.
But I learned about the hell Fire Club. Have you
ever heard of this?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
No?
Speaker 2 (28:24):
No, I had not, but just in case, I don't know,
you're a major like history nerd. So Ben Franklin apparently,
because he talked a lot about being naked, then people
were like, well, what else was he into? While he
was in France and while he was bubopping around Europe,
and he obviously like he went to a lot of orgies.
They were popular at the time. I think they've just
(28:45):
always been popular. But he for sure, they can't prove it,
but was probably part of this group called the hell
Fire Club. It was started in the early seventeen hundreds
by Lord Wharton, the Duke of George. But the one
who really like made it a thing was this guy,
Sir Francis Deshwood, who is famously a rake of his time.
(29:07):
He was very wealthy and he would have these things
and basically what they would do and it was the
most It was for the wealthiest, most influential people and
they would get together. He refurbished an abbey, like he
turned this crumbly Gothic abbey into their club, where he
had pornographic stained glass windows, made an entire library of
(29:31):
early seventeen hundreds porn, which is hysterical if you ever
read it. It's like he grasped me in the place
that makes me different from a man. And I could
sense that his thick white liquid was brewing beneath, like
it's the weirdest stuff you'll ever read. So he stocked
the library.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
He was the ditty of his time.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
He was, though, and that was my thought, the helper coup.
These were literally the ditty parties of Europe of the
early seventeen hundreds. So you would wear a red cloak
and take a little fairy across to this gothic structure,
and all the men had to be in these sort
of like monks cloaks, and they each had to bring
a woman of a positive disposition to add to the hilarity,
as they put it. And these were usually women of
(30:13):
society who would wear masks and dressed like nuns anyway,
So they would do they would yeah, essentially, and they
all wore masks, and they would do these like pseudo
satanic rituals, but they didn't actually believe in Satan. They
just sort of made fun of them, and then like
craziness would ensue. But for sure Ben Franklin was there
because then eventually people got wind of this because somebody
(30:34):
wrote a book about it, and so people would go
to the abbey to like watch the boats cross, and
spectators would try and guess who was dressed, like who
was there. So then this guy, Lord Dashwood, had caves
beneath his manor house and he started hosting them there. Wow,
but there's one great story. Sorry, and no we went
over time, but one where I believe it was the
(30:56):
Earl of Sandwich, one of the major players the time
it went. He got bored during the rituals part because
they would start it with these like faux Satanic rituals,
but they were meant to kind of make fun of
real Satanists, where they would like do shots out of
women's belly buttons and like light things on fire. So
he thought that part of the process was really boring,
(31:17):
and so he decided to actually spook them. So he
somehow got his hands on a baboon and he put
it in a trunk and put like a demon mask
on it, and then he somehow got it in and
then at a point where they like lit the fires
and were like summoning Satan in whatever goofy way that
they did, he opened the trunk and released the baboon
and it like went nuts on the party. No, that's
(31:41):
where somebody else brought it, because that's what it was.
The Earl of Sandwich had a quote that was like, demon, No,
if I thought we were going to rise the I
would never have come like so people lost their minds.
They were beset upon by a demon baboon that was
really confused. It broke out through one of the pornographic
stained glass windows and was never seen again. My godon,
but can you imagine you go to a park. This
poor baboon did not sign up to go to, you know,
(32:03):
an Edwardian orgy for Georgian orgy, but there it was anyway,
So that's that has nothing to do with social nudism,
only pure orgies. But I blame Ben Franklin for taking
us there, all right. Anyway, So now you get to
choose a winner.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
I guess I would. I'd probably have to say Ryan,
because you had a very good succinct history with personal anecdotes.
So yeah, thank.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
You, yay, Well, appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Yeah, and you know that's because you had to go
through that whole HR debacle in the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Oh man. All right, so and now you get to
give us our topic for next week.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Well, I feel like we already talked about it, but
I think I think grocery stores has to be the
topic next week. Yes, I think like your favorite your
favorite stores, your favorite time to shop, your favorite thing
to buy. Or do you hate grocery store? I know
people that are just like vehemently will not step foot
in a grocery store. Do it all via like Postmates
(33:08):
or whatever. Now do you hate self checkout? I mean
I could literally write a textbook on grocery stores. I'm
obsessed with them.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
You know, our Wagmans are Wigman's in Ocean used to
have the app and you could scan your groceries as
you put them into the thing, and then you would
just go to the cash resist and tap tap and
it would be like boom.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Yeah in charge think Walmart does that now?
Speaker 3 (33:30):
Well, apparently getting Wegmans was getting ropped blind with it.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
And I've never understood self checkout. See you're gonna get
me going?
Speaker 2 (33:39):
See I go with you on that. Though I don't
like self checkout, I would much rather have a cashier.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
I honestly think self checkout is one of the main
reasons why grocery prices are so high today is because
so much theft happens at self checkout. It's insane, Like.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
I believe so much theft. I bought clothes recently at
a store that had self checkout, and I was just
like what it was? It was like it was I
was at the mall. What's that the company? Uh, not
Super Dry? What's it called Unicle, Uniglow? It is Uniglow
And they have those bins where you drop your clothes.
(34:13):
It's supposed to weigh them. I don't know. I was
so confused by the whole process. I almost accidentally stole something.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
I accident. I have accidentally stolen itself check out before,
and I just won't do it. Like I bought a
lamp one time. Apparently the shade was separate and I
didn't realize that, but like I got home and there
was like a separate price tag on the lamp shade
and I was like, I did not scan this or
pay for it. I just totally stole.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Wow An accidental pilferer.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Oh man, all right, Well on that note, this was
so much fun. Thank you so much, Thanks.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
So much for having me. This was fun.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Oh I was gonna say, we were going to talk
about it. Michael, you did kind of end up losing
last week even though you won.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Oh, that's right, that's right. I do own apology. I
won last week by telling a story which I've told before,
which I mean I forgot. To be fair, it was like, literally,
I think the first or second episode we ever did,
I told the story, and I have the memory of
a goldfish, and so it's been like a year now,
I think, and I fully forgot and told the story
(35:12):
again like it was brand new. And Ryan and I won,
and he was like, you do know you've told that story.
But also, to be fair, I lost the first time
I told it, so finally, but to be fair, yes,
that win has been rescinded, as I.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Feel like that is now you lost your crown.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
I know.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
I offered to give the crown back since I feel
like that is cheating to just tell the same story
multiple times until I finally win with it.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
It's like Vanessa.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Williams, Yeah, poor Vanessa, Williams. She did okay though.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Yeah. She she came out at the top of the
air
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