Revenge, Into Fat Air, Slow Hand, Laid (Off), Dog Peach, Fourgy, TNT Whale and MORE

The Alan Cox Show

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
The Federal Communications Commission has determined the following content to
be emotionally harmful.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Funny Things that you thinks funny aren't funny.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
Jimmy Cox, Allen Cox Show, Kicks ash Man, welcome to me.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
What ye canna see a lot of cocks on TV?
Allen Cox and The Allen Cox Show.

Speaker 4 (00:22):
I don't know what it's about you, but I can't
even stand here.

Speaker 5 (00:25):
I thank you say it.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Don't be a crazy So let's kick it.

Speaker 4 (00:30):
Kick it and you'll just take it with.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
A nasty groove.

Speaker 6 (00:32):
Okay, what do it?

Speaker 2 (00:34):
Three kicks?

Speaker 7 (00:36):
Tick it?

Speaker 2 (00:36):
Comam, put you one time?

Speaker 8 (00:39):
Take it?

Speaker 9 (00:42):
Allen Cox.

Speaker 4 (00:43):
Here we go, He'll add, he'll be time.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
It's the Allen Cox Show on one hundred point seven
double U m m as.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Hey, what's going on?

Speaker 10 (01:01):
Gang?

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Good afternoon, Hi, greetings, welcome, salutations, and all that back
live today. My name is Alan Cox, thanks for being here.
Rob Anthony is here as well. Day two. Day two.
I made it of the new version of the program.
We didn't have to fake your death or anything yet.

(01:25):
Got a lot of messages about our inaugural program yesterday
in the wake of the company one week ago releasing
Bill Squire and Mary Santora rob being ushered into the
They really rolled out the red carpet for you, didn't they.

(01:45):
They really did. They beautiful. I mean it was it
was emotional. It was lush, which was gorgeous. It was
as though they had spent dollars on it. To let
everybody know, want to join us, you can do it
in a variety of ways. Engagement is key, as you know.

(02:07):
On the phones two one six, five seven eight one
double oh seven, eight hundred and three four eight one
double oh seven, you can text me three five one
nine two. If you're listening on the iHeartRadio app, you
can leave messages there as well. If you're watching on
the live chat the video, we will see that there
on our YouTube channel. I don't often go online looking

(02:30):
at people's comments because those are usually not constructive. So
I only heard second and third hand from people that
the bulk of the comments they had seen about our
first show together yesterday were surprisingly positive and complimentary. That's
not anything that I expect in any large group of people.
I mean, you're gonna have outliers too, but that's good

(02:53):
to hear. I guess I agree that people enjoyed the
program yesterday. It's got to give them time. We've got
to find our groove. My favorite comment it was Rob
really sounds good. Has he previously done any broadcasting? Nope?
And this is this is the thing. And I had
to explain to a couple of people. I'm like, yeah,
Rob's the program director here, but he's been in radio

(03:13):
and on the air. What since we're like seventeen years old. Yeah. Yeah,
And so you know, ninety nine percent of the people
who are in any kind of radio management, everybody starts
out on the air. I've only known a couple of
guys who were like, had never been on the air,
Like program directors who had never been on the air.

(03:35):
I don't know how you get in, Like, I don't know,
you get in as like a promotions director or something.
And you know, but even before the current state of
this industry, you're wearing one hundred hats. I mean, over
the course of my career, I've been an assistant program director,
and I've been a promotions director, and I've been you know,

(03:55):
you do all these things. You're starting off in small
markets and you're working your way up. And that's the irony,
is that large and major market radio now feels like
it's come as far as staffing goes, it feels like
it's come full circle. It feels like you're back working
in those small markets when everybody was doing one hundred

(04:17):
things because you had ten people.

Speaker 6 (04:18):
And those small markets are just empty. I mean that's
the that's the reality of it too, right.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
Yeah, but yes, in answer to that question, yes we
didn't pull Rob all of the street. But again you
could be forgiven for thinking that because it's not you know,
it's a it's a different situation.

Speaker 11 (04:39):
Now.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
They're basically kind of looking around and going, hey can
we hook who can we put behind a microphone? But
there's nothing wrong with that either. And on the last
couple of months your show turned into a huge Kamala rally.
So it is refreshing to not all of you on air,
huge liber I don't know if that means I will

(05:00):
listen again. I'm getting this a lot too. The Maga snowflakes, who, boy,
they really really don't like it if you're critical of
dear Leader or anything like that, the f you're feelings people, boy,
they just went by nanas and they did not like
it at all. If you were criticizing what Trump's doing.

(05:22):
But they're in charge now, and you mentioned it yesterday
sore winners, and I don't understand it. But listen, you're
welcome here. Of course. I don't care why you listen,
as long as you do all. My wife told me
that Rob's voice gets her moist. How about that? Plenty
of ways to say that. That word. No, it's just

(05:44):
not a great describe, but it's that person's wife. I
don't know if that's a guy or a girl, right,
I don't know which one. It's just become extra sweaty
uh huh. Yeah, great, Well, listen, there could be a
hell of a lot worse comments made than that, for sure.
I don't think anyone's ever told me that you have

(06:04):
a better on air voice than I do. But I
don't think anyone's ever said, oh, Alan, you know my wife.
Now again with respect, I don't know what your wife
looks like. She might not be somebody we want to
be getting moist. We want her, We might want her
positively arid. Hey, Jake, Yes, what up?

Speaker 10 (06:26):
Jake?

Speaker 12 (06:28):
What's going on? Alan?

Speaker 2 (06:29):
How are you man? Listen?

Speaker 3 (06:30):
I'm not like I'm one hundred percent pro Trump, okay,
but like I'm not calling it.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
I'm not one of the craziest that's gonna be like cool,
you know what I mean. But just Jeff Man to man,
I really really.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
Want to, like, if you're after watching all the election
stuff and everything else, like you can seriously say that
you know how when they do the interviews with Kamalin,
they do the interviews with Trump Kamala, you know, like
I'm saying, yeah, that's rue. But after and the way
she would answer a question compared to how Trump would

(07:04):
answer questions, you would say that that was.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
The most Well the guy wasn't The guy wasn't answering questions,
Jake is the point. No, he didn't. He would He
called them weaves. He listen, Trump thought he was going
to lose, right remember in twenty sixteen when he could
not believe he won. He had the same vibe this time.
He thought he was going to lose. That's why they

(07:27):
were already setting up And again, I don't want to
go some rabbit hole here at the top of the show,
because it's it's just gonna nobody's gonna care. But I'll
simply say that that's why they were lining up lawyers
in all these States because they were getting ready to
contest the election. As soon as he started winning states,
all that rig election rigging nonsense went away. So anyway,

(07:50):
congratulations Jake, your guy won, and I'm sure our lives
will improve immeasurably because of that. And God speed to you.
Pel Okay, there you go. There's Jake who's very, very pleased,
and good for him. Listen, I think anything you know

(08:10):
that makes you happy that doesn't involve you being happy
because you're trying to make other people's lives difficult. That's
where I have a big problem if you're one of
those people. If you're one of those people who's like,
this is gonna be great, We're gonna get I don't know, revenge,
I don't know for what. Welcome back Local.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
DJ and all around female orgasm Denier Alan Cos.

Speaker 7 (08:36):
This is the Alan Cox Show on one.

Speaker 13 (08:39):
Point seven DOUBLEMMS.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
Two one six, five seven eight one double oh seven
or eight hundred and three four eight one double oh seven.
How about those Cleveland Cavaliers. They are twelve and zero
rolled over my bills last night. They kind of rallied
in the back half of that game, but they remain
undefeated and like I said yesterday, Bulls are my team,
but I was rooting for the Calves to keep that

(09:06):
streak going. You know, if the Bulls had won, that
wouldn't have changed the fortunes there of that team, but
it would have broken that streak. So the Cavaliers are
at twelve and zero, best team in the NBA by far,
and they'll had to Where do they go next? Philly?

(09:26):
I think so maybe, yeah, yeah, Philly. Tomorrow night they'll
play the Sixers. I think Joel Embiid is back in
the lineup, but Calves six Ers tomorrow night at seven
point thirty here on MMS and on the iHeartRadio app.
So seven o'clock is when that pregame coverage will begin,
and then this Friday, the Bulls will come here. Now

(09:52):
I have to determine if the Calves remain undefeated, then
I have to root against my team again. I don't
have to, I choose. I don't want to do that twice.
So this puts me in a bit of a dilemma
because I would really like that street to continue, but
they would have to lose to the seventy six Ers

(10:13):
for me to feel good about going back to root
for my team, and so I know if you're listening
right now, boy, you are just as worked up a
decision of mine as I am. I can feel I
can feel it right now. So anyway, that's just how

(10:34):
it lays out. But cabs in Philly tomorrow night, and
then the bulls will be here on Friday. And remember
you can use the promo code MUNI M you and
I for twenty percent off at cl Clothing Company all
through the month of November, and I will offer you
this caveat as well. Make sure that they know what's
going on in these stores. Because if you've ever you

(10:57):
work retail rob back in the day, so before we
all got into showbiz as young men, you're working retail jobs.
Maybe you're working one now and perhaps you are at
the managerial level. But if you're not, if you're one
of the rank and file like I always was, you
know how poorly a lot of important information is disseminated

(11:18):
to the group. A lot of retail managers they couldn't
care less. They just worked their asses hard enough to
become manager so they can make a little bit more money,
but they're not really running the store that well. Whatever
all I'm saying is there's a lot of times in
retail situations where the information is not being disseminated very
well to the employees. It's not their fault if they

(11:40):
don't know. Aly mentioned this because I had a couple
of friends went to a cl clothing location over the weekend,
gave them the promo code. At the desk, the clerk
had no clue what she was talking about. So obviously,
if you shop online there, you can just type it
right in. But you might run across somebody that has

(12:02):
no clue what you're talking about. You tell them with
a firm, clear voice, your spine ramrod and you go Muni,
and they might look at you strangely, but you just
explained to them it's the WMMS promo code.

Speaker 6 (12:21):
What kind of retail did you do?

Speaker 2 (12:24):
I managed a Blockbuster video. I mostly waited tables. I
mostly worked in fine dining, but I worked in I
was a barista for a period of time, but I
managed a Blockbuster video in Chicago in the early nineties
for a couple of years before my path to show

(12:45):
biz was on its way. I never worked a man well.
I had a job in high school. My brother and
I worked in this cleaning crew for a grocery store bakery.
You know the grocery stores. The bakers get in there
super early so that everything can be done and out
for like you know, a rush hour or whatever in

(13:06):
the morning. So we'd get in there about ten or
eleven AM and have to clean the place up, so
we're scraping dough off the floor, stuff like that, running
the industrial washers. Did you do that kind of stuff?

Speaker 14 (13:18):
I did?

Speaker 10 (13:19):
Yeah, I was.

Speaker 6 (13:20):
I worked in retail a lot I did. I worked
in record stores.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
I was a.

Speaker 6 (13:25):
Stock clerk at a Macy's for for a couple of
I don't know, this was in Massachusetts.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I delivered beer. There wasn't a job really.

Speaker 6 (13:33):
I didn't do when I was trying to start out
in this because I made like eleven dollars a year,
so it was like I did everything. I cleaned carpets.
I actually mean that. I did that for a living
out and I don't mean that that.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
Yeah, I actually did it, cleaning some carpets. You got
a high pile shag you.

Speaker 6 (13:52):
Call rab Yeah, no, that was I did that for
god almost two years, I guess.

Speaker 8 (13:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
Doug holes for a pool company. See the great thing
about that though, and God forfend, this is the way
that it goes. But we will all eventually get the
tap on the shoulder that we are no longer needed
in this industry, and some people might have something to go.
They've got skills, right. I can't go back to managing
a video store, No, that doesn't exist anymore. I guess

(14:21):
I could go back to You could go back to
digging holes or cleaning carpets, selling cars. It'd be a
good car system. It'd be great.

Speaker 15 (14:27):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (14:28):
What do I need to do to put you in
this car today?

Speaker 6 (14:33):
I would just take that DeNiro model in was it?
Analyze this or that or whatever it was when he
was the car salesman.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
That's what I should do. Listen, everything that I learned
as a young man about the sales game came from
the jerky boys. And I don't mind telling you that now.
Is that gonna work for me when I get to
that point, I don't know. I did radio sales in
between on air gigs many years ago, and that's why,
being on this side of the microphone, I've always had

(14:59):
a great deal of empathy and cooperation for people who
are on the sales side of this business. It's a
bitch of a jo. I cannot imagine making a career
out of that, just as they can imagine doing this,
I'm sure.

Speaker 6 (15:14):
Well, we thought it was hard when all they had
to do was sell commercials right like they would sell
There were no anything but sixty second commercials like you
couldn't run a thirty right like. I remember when I
first started, there were only sixties. It was four of
them in a row, four sixties and that's it. Yeah,
that was a pain in the ass to sell. And
now I look at what they gotta sell, like a
podcast is selling, and ads in Amazon Prime and brutal.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
I've told them before, I said, you guys are the
equivalent to a guy standing on in the street corner
opening up his coat and go and see anything you like.
That's what it is that you got watches here? Oh
I got you know what I mean? Sorry, I thought
you meant something else. Yeah, listen again, I don't know
what they're doing to make sales, so they could very
well be flashing people out there. I don't know, but yeah,

(16:00):
we have fleas in here too. So did you ever
work for an exterminating company? By any chance? No, but
any skills you.

Speaker 6 (16:06):
Can call upon to the last two years of my life.
I've been dealing with so many, uh, infestated things. Infestations
not infestated. Infestations are no. No here in the building,
yeah yeah, in the building up yeah.

Speaker 12 (16:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
We always have. No matter what happens, we always have.
I mean bedbugs aside, not even talking about that. No,
like little fleas or I don't know what it is.
What are those things that are flying around in here?
I don't know, but they keep landing on my phone
because it's a bright I mean, we have a million
bright lights in here that's going to draw some kind
of insect. But for whatever reason, I keep trying to

(16:41):
smear it on the when it lights on the screen
of my phone, and so far I haven't gotten it yet.
It's like a big fruit fly. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 6 (16:50):
I don't like it.

Speaker 2 (16:51):
I was on my phone this morning because we talked
about Megan Fox getting knocked up yesterday by MGK, and
so I'm like, well, I don't follow Megan Fox on
social media. Let's go see what's going on there. So
I go to her Instagram account and the post for
her pregnancy announcement was her very unless I'm missing something.

(17:13):
This was her very first post ever, and I don't
know how this works. She has that was her first post.
She's followed by a number of people that I know
and follow me, and I follow them, but she has
twenty one point seven million followers. She is following no. One,

(17:33):
so twenty one point seven million followers, and that is
her very first post. And I'm curious how you get
to that point because you're not giving people content. They're
following you, you're never coming up in their feed because
you're never posting anything.

Speaker 6 (17:50):
I think all you have to do is be as
hot as Megan Fox is, and someday she posts.

Speaker 2 (17:55):
Is that what it is? I follow her? I mean
I guess you do. Yeah, yeah, well listen. And again
a lot of this says, forty one people that I know,
you know follow Megan Fox. I guess she wasn't on
my radar, so forty others. Yeah, you're one of them,
forty other people. Yeah, but you amassed twenty one point

(18:16):
seven million followers. That means she's not monetizing that. I mean,
if I had a quarter of those, I'd be sitting pretty.
She did not do anything with it. I mean, she
gets attention elsewhere obviously, but that's pretty wild, and she's
not alone. I mean, there's a couple of kind of
high profile people that they don't who they are to

(18:38):
immediately spring to mind, but you see it every so
often where they're like, this person's really famous, tons of followers,
one or two posts, and in a time where everybody's
trying to monetize everything, I'm surprised that that's not what's
going on there. But she and MGK her post. Her
one post. One of them is of the pregnant test,

(19:01):
where the pregnancy test itself. I confused for one of
her nails because she has really long white nails, and
so it took me a second to realize that she
was holding a pregnancy test. And the other one is
kind of like remember when de me Moore kind of
set the standard when she posed nude and pregnant on
the cover of Vanity Fair some thirty years ago. This

(19:22):
launched a thousand naked pregnancy shoots. I think De me
Moore might have been the first one in the cover
of Vanity Fair, but now most celebrity women will do this.
Megan Fox is no different. It looks like she's covered
in Velvelean. I don't know what that picture is. It
does look like oil. Yeah, she's kneeling down and she's
covered in some black liquid and maybe it's mg CA's tears.

(19:45):
I don't know, he's you know, but she's got three
kids with Brian Austin Green. Mgk's got a teenage daughter
with his ex girlfriend. And Megan Fox's first post to
twenty one point seven million people was that her kneeling
down naked.

Speaker 6 (20:04):
And she she looks like she's a decent amount pregnant
in that photo.

Speaker 2 (20:08):
Like, well, don't they wait now, like even even like
you know, every day women wait, is that when it
jinks it? Yeah, I understand that I do as well. Yeah,
I mean she looks like she's, you know, the good,
good amount pregnant. Yeah, Congress, I'm zooming in. Just see
the belly of course. That's yeah, all right, good, not

(20:31):
a pervert. All right, Well, I'll need a report intriplicate
tomorrow morning. Yeah. There have been a lot of Amber
alerts been sent out recently. I got two of them
last night. I think there were two separate ones. There
was one where it said that they were looking for
a U haul box truck and I was like, that's weird,
but it had Arizona plates or something like that. And

(20:53):
then the other one was this dude who took his
daughter to Medina County and led the cops on a
chase and then they said the kids, okay, seven year
old daughter. They referred to him as the non custodial parent.
Obviously it means the mom has a custody. But he

(21:14):
led him on a on a chase out to the sticks.
And then they said that he either shot himself or
the cops killed him or something. And you said, this
is not far from your house, not far at all. No,
And I think those two actually ended up being the
same thing. Is that what they were? Yeah? I think
he was in a in a U haul oh okay
with her because I got two separate alerts.

Speaker 6 (21:32):
Yeah, yeah, I got I think I don't know if
I got two, but but yeah, I mean it was
it was about five minutes from my house. You could
hear the helicopters and stuff going sirens.

Speaker 2 (21:42):
So it started when when we were or he took
her when we were still on the air. Yeah, from
a home in Empire. I don't know where that is.
It says the Ohio West Virginia border so and then fled.
Oh there it is. Oh I didn't see that. Fled
in a pickup. Later obtained a U haul truck and
drove north.

Speaker 3 (21:59):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (22:00):
So it's ride up the street from you. Yeah, you're
run to help, no, sir, No, no, I was. I
was in my own hell at that point. Anything I
can do, guys, yeah, no, no, just I was.

Speaker 6 (22:13):
I was wondering what everything. When I heard the helicopters,
I was like, what the hell is going on? And
I looked online and I saw they actually shut down
seventy one between three and eighteen, So that whole stretch
of seventy one was shut down because he pulled off
and he was over by where the it was like
bob Evans or something there, and that's where they actually
said there were snipers in place. So that's where they

(22:34):
was coming on the roof of the bob Evan, on
the roof of the bob Evans and asine, You're just
there to get some chicken fried chicken or something, you know,
a hearty breakfast or dinner or whatever, and next thing
you know, they got snipers posted up on the roof.
In that time of day, I mean there's a there's
a Buffalo Wild Wings. There, there's Arby's. I mean, all

(22:56):
of those places had to be full, so a lot
of people had front row seats, imagine.

Speaker 2 (23:02):
Yeah, he said that the gunshots came from the truck,
though it was unclear what or where he was firing.
In the officer's return shots. The girl is fortunately fine,
but it didn't end the way well, I don't know
if if it ended the way he wanted it to end,
But yeah, that's pretty wild.

Speaker 6 (23:22):
You'd have to assume not right, Like the guy thought
enough to change vehicles.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
You know, he was on his way.

Speaker 6 (23:27):
It just obviously didn't work out the way he had planned,
I would imagine. I guess so he was armed, So
maybe it was like you said, right, But.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
I just envisioned the people who are sitting there having
dinner at any of those restaurants you mentioned, like, I
can't visualize that area of northeast Ohio. But I don't
know exactly what area are you talking about. But if
they're on the roof of a Bob Evans, because they're
not going to run everybody out of the restaurant, right,
They're gonna go, Hey, everybody hunkered down, maybe we'll bring
out some free pie for your troubles. Would you like

(24:03):
apple or pumpkin?

Speaker 16 (24:04):
Ma'am?

Speaker 2 (24:05):
What's happening? Oh, there's just snipers on the roof. They're
trained on a guy who's in a box truck. Well,
they're not firing at the truck, are they. I mean,
those those really carry a lot of They really carry
a lot of gasoline. You know, we've all rented moving
trucks before. It takes you forever to fill up that tank.

(24:27):
You got to return it full. You could end up
with some real problems there that have nothing to do
with the actual Amberling situation.

Speaker 6 (24:37):
But thankfully nobody was hurt, and that's good, especially the
kid too. Man Like you said, she was okay. But
think about the long term on that, right, I mean,
she's seven. She gonna remember that.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
Seven, so she'll remember. Yeah, it's different if you're like
a lot of these are eighteen months, you know, or
they run them out with the kid under their arm,
just such a drag, poor kid, you know, speaking of gunfire.
Spirit Airlines and a lot of other airlines are halting
their commercial flights into Haiti. Given what I know about

(25:06):
Haiti in the situation down there usually. I guess I
was ignorant to the fact that commercial flights were running.
We're going into Haiti. But Spirit Airlines was landing in
Porta Prints and they were taken on gunfire from gangs
down below. First of all, you've already suffered the indignity

(25:27):
of being on a Spirit flight and you're going to Haiti,
and now you're taking gunfire. They had to divert to
the Dominican Republic. But one of the flight attendants got
hit through the fuselage. I heard cluck, cluck, you know,
three times. A couple of us and the plane.

Speaker 15 (25:48):
We recognize the noise at being gunshot.

Speaker 4 (25:52):
Man.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
So they had to treat a flight attendant, and they
had to divert the flight from that and and get
everybody off.

Speaker 6 (26:02):
Did you say where the flight originated from.

Speaker 2 (26:04):
I think Fort Lauderdale.

Speaker 6 (26:06):
That's a long flight on Spirit, man.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
Any flight is a long flight on Spirit. I mean,
with respect, it's a it's a you know, listen, I've
flowed It's okay, I've flown it. It's you know, quick
flight's okay. From flight from Fort Lauderdale, that's a long
flight to Haiti. Now I've never been to Haiti, but yeah,
the bullets pierced the plane's cabin where a flight attendant

(26:31):
was hit. And so basically every commercial carrier has now said, uh,
we're going to We're going to put a put the
flights to Porter Prints on pause, as it were so
Jet Blue. So listen, this might come as a shock
to you if you were listen. It's hard to plan

(26:51):
a honeymoon, and maybe you had everything filled out for
that trip to Porter Prince. You might have to find
another way to get there and have fun.

Speaker 6 (27:02):
It's only an hour and fifty three minute flight.

Speaker 2 (27:04):
So I was wrong. There you go. I was gonna
say that can't be from Florida to Haiti. Can't be
that long.

Speaker 6 (27:09):
I assumed it would have been longer than that.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
I've flown Spiritlane. There's a woman by the way as well.
I think she's a Brazilian influencer or something, and meaning
she's from Brazil. Not like she's doing TikTok videos about
getting you know, uh, getting Brazilian waxes or anything like that,
but she is complaining about the fact that she has
had to buy two airplane tickets because of her ass

(27:34):
And I'm gonna show this to you on the live
stream here. It is positively unbelievable. This woman, what she's
carrying around seats don't fix like she's real cute, but
you know she's obviously got that's a giant Now. That
thing is probably full of I don't know what's in
there filler. She has a giant, giant ass, and I

(27:56):
want to.

Speaker 17 (27:56):
Lose my plane, So give me an there's a little
or just make the seats speakers, jes.

Speaker 2 (28:02):
Gracie's been very vocal about having multiple bbls. So do
you guys think that the airlines of a comedy. There
you go bbls. That's the Brazilian butt lift for the
uninitiated and multiples. Yeah, has a giant, giant ass, And
I guess a good way to get people to pay
attention to you is to publicly complain that the seats
are too small. Except the seats Well, I was gonna

(28:24):
say seats aren't too small. They're too small for her obviously,
but most people aren't walking around with that. Wow, a
fifty five inch backside a woman named Gracie Bond who
is a model from Panama.

Speaker 6 (28:37):
And probably a twenty eight inch waist. I mean she's
not a woman, right.

Speaker 2 (28:42):
It's all from the waist down. Yeah, but she's trying
to let people know, hey, these airlines are banning me
because of the size of my carriage, and she's starting
a campaign for larger seats. Spoiler alert. Most people were
not sympathetic to her plight.

Speaker 6 (29:04):
Well, if it didn't work for large Americans, it surely
isn't going to work for a large astam Aerica.

Speaker 2 (29:10):
Yeah, it's weird, how like, it's kind the size of
the seats have become inversely proportional to the size of
the people. You know, as people get fatter. It's not
like the airlines are like, oh, we got to widen
these seats to accommodate more people. They're trying to make
seats smaller to the point where they go, hey, would
you guys buy a twenty dollars ticket if you just
stood up the whole way? And most people go, yeah,

(29:33):
I would to just be herded around like cattle, Yeah
I would. Yeah, you give me a twenty dollars ticket
and I stand up the whole time. They're like, you know,
maybe we get you. Every so often you'll see these
artists renderings of what airlines are trying to develop to
get more people onto commercial flights. Then a couple of

(29:56):
years ago, there was a thing. It was literally like
you would stand up like you were on a stand
up roller coaster. There'd be kind of a perfunctory saddle
between your legs and something for you to kind of
lean back on, but you're easily you're mostly standing. And
I don't think that that went anywhere. But I'm telling
you because they were like, oh, they'll be a huge
public backlash. I mean, if you told people you gotta

(30:19):
stand with these tickets are twenty bucks? Do you want
to stand from Chicago to La Do you want to
stand Cleveland, Miami?

Speaker 6 (30:26):
A lot of people go, yeah, certain flights, I'd do it.
Short enough flight, I'd do it. Flew here to New
York City or something, I'd stand, Yeah, for sure. And
think of the efficiency.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
Now, when people want to fight somebody on a flight,
they have to stand up to do it. But if
you're already standing, and you're four or five g and
t's deep and you want to start swinging, yeah, you're
already in an offensive position. You want some of this.
It just makes sense. You're already you got a better flight.

(31:02):
Attendants get over there and they put you back on
your saddle.

Speaker 6 (31:06):
I'll be honest, it would probably be better for me
to stand. I have no ass, So regardless of the
the the cushion on a plane, I'm uncomfortable after it.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
Oh yeah a minute, Will you ask for a pillow
to sit on it?

Speaker 6 (31:19):
Well, I've never done it because it's embarrassing, But yeah,
if I like a sweatshirt, I'll sit on my sweat shirt.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
Yeah that hurt, sucks. Huh Yeah, Well maybe weird big
guy you think would have an ass, I have no ass.
Maybe the saddle is for somebody like you. Then you
do the whole flight prop like Hannibal Lecter without the mask.
That would work. Yeah, I would do it. I just
want to get from point A to point B. I
don't need amenities. I don't need I've never flown first class.

(31:43):
I don't need the nuts. I don't care. I will,
I don't care. I'll sit in a middle seat. I
just want to get from point A to point B.
Middle that's where the heat, that's where the fun is
going to start. At my destination, the fun starts there.
Everything up to the I accept is going to potentially
be a colossal pain in the ass. All the traveling

(32:06):
I've ever done. On average, I've gotten real lucky. International travel, domestic,
I've gotten real lucky. But if I had to stand
the whole way, I don't care. Fine, here's my twenty bucks.
Maybe bring me a Dixie cup with some cold water
and halfway through.

Speaker 10 (32:26):
Show.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
Listening to the show doesn't make you a bad person.
In the foot locker at the end of your bed,
that makes you a bad person. The buzzard. Anybody remember

(32:59):
this band. They're called Kissing the Pink. They're like an
English new wave band late seventies. Hey, devotion accuracy. By
the way, we were talking about Megan Fox and how
she has twenty one point seven million followers and just
one post. I guess I should have come to this conclusion.

(33:19):
But a lot of people who've been following her for
a while quick to tell me that she just deleted
all of her posts. Ah so, and you'll see people
do that too. They'll completely scrub their entire account. They
have somebody do it for them, obviously, but scrub the
whole thing. So now there's just that one post makes
much more sense, or maybe deleted her account and brought

(33:40):
it back. Yeah, Well, good for her. Still got those
twenty one point seven million followers there Allan, I live
two minutes away from where that whole amber alert thing
went down, so I don't live that far from Rob.
So the hell copter hovering and wondered what was going on.

(34:03):
But I'll tell you what I mean. For the people
out there in Madonna County, they've seen their share of stuff.
You kind of get out parts of there. You getting
out to the sticks. Hey, gay Lord, Hey, mister Cox
F and Rob.

Speaker 4 (34:22):
I just want to say I don't mean to be
forgive me for being a past but I just want
to say I'm loving what you guys are doing.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
I'm a loyal fan to you, mister Cox.

Speaker 4 (34:37):
And if you and Rob are going.

Speaker 18 (34:40):
To be a.

Speaker 4 (34:43):
Dynamic duo, then by golly, I'll continue to listen to
you because you're making me last.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
That's all I can ask for, gay Lord, Right, I mean,
if my dynamism is able to come through in any situation,
then that's good, right you Rob as well?

Speaker 4 (35:07):
Yes, sir, And it's a pleasure. And Rob, I hope
sometime that I can meet you in person me too.
You see like you seem like quite a gentleman. And uh,
you two are are doing a great job.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
Is that important to you that people you meet are gentlemen?

Speaker 4 (35:32):
Well, unless there are women, well then they would.

Speaker 2 (35:37):
Be gentle women. But I mean it's like, you know,
you could probably meet somebody and boy, they're a real dick,
but you know, you just kind of click and next
thing you know, they're one of Gaylord's best friends.

Speaker 4 (35:47):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, But I'm sure that you and and
Rob are going to become part of my family too.
So I'm loving what you're doing. And thank you guys
for being so entertaining to me. I'm an old fart. Oops,

(36:09):
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that on the radio,
but old yeah, but forgive me, guys.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
It's okay, thank you, all right, thank you gay Lord.
All right, there's Gaylord. He's out in Wellington, I believe
is where Gaylord is. Well, there you go, Rob, You're
going to become part of Gaylord's family. You've been deputized
now into the nature of horrors a vacuum. It's a

(36:43):
good feeling. Even though Bill and Mary aren't here on
the show anymore. I'm sure Gaylord will still reach out
to them. Lord knows how many empty chairs he'll have
for Thanksgiving this year, but good for him.

Speaker 4 (37:00):
Hey Gang Coyle from Woolster.

Speaker 12 (37:01):
So I just have a quick question. Obviously, Bill and
Marry off the show. You know, we don't get that,
but I would still allowed to come on for bits
or like Cany.

Speaker 14 (37:11):
Is still like kind of popped in like whenever Mary's
in town or are they just kind of pershoned it
on broad at this point, I really like, you know, that.

Speaker 4 (37:18):
Was at least like here from from time to time.

Speaker 10 (37:21):
I hate the show.

Speaker 15 (37:22):
Uh good jump so far though, By the way, I
really like the program so far.

Speaker 4 (37:26):
I just kind of wish I still had those two,
but it is, but it is.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
I was thinking about that. By the way, when Mary's
in town, I'll absolutely have her on the show. Of course,
comedian Mary Santora, And it's say with Bill, I mean,
you know there's they're working comedians. Yes, Jim Twos, who
was never a member of the show, but he's a
you know, he's one of the earliest performers on the
Alan Cox Show comedy Tour. Remember those boil Those were fun.

(37:52):
Jim Twos is recording his new special here in Cleveland,
and he will be in here on Thursday. I believe,
and then Friday, my buddy Billy Gardell will be back
in here. He's doing the weekend at Hilarities. He is
very thin now, that William Gardell. He was laser focused

(38:14):
on his weight loss a few years ago. He was
a big boy. That's how he was when I met
him many many years ago. And he's very thin now.
But he's a very funny guy. If you're doing some
early Christmas shopping, you might have gone out and said, ooh, hey,

(38:35):
look at these dolls for the movie Wicked. Right this
movie Wicked, it was a long time stage production. I'm
not a big musical theater guy. I never have been.
It just doesn't scratch me where I itch. But I
could count on one hand the live stage musical performances
I've seen that I really liked, and Wicked is one

(38:58):
of them. Wicked a good twenty years ago, and I
thought it was fantastic. Phantom of the Opera, Book of Mormon, Wicked,
and there's probably two more I'm forgetting, but those are
the three that come to mind that I really really
did like. So they finally get around to making the
film version of Wicked, long awaited, It's got Ariana Grande.

(39:23):
It's got Cynthia Arrivo, who was a British actress who's
very good in things. I think the original stage production
was Adele Dazime. Remember adel Dazim is the best a.
Dina Manzell a juntre volt To famously called her adel Dasim.
I think she was in the original stage production of Wicked.
That's who I saw in Wicked. But they've got a

(39:44):
film coming out, and so they've released all this merch.
Mattel is releasing all of these dolls for girls who
want to get into Wicked, and they have really had
they They really stepped on their own d immediately because
the website that they printed on all of the packaging

(40:05):
was supposed to be wickedmovie dot com. They always want
you to go somewhere else to buy something more. Well,
the proofreaders or whoever they printed them all with Wicked
dot com, which of course is a long time and
very famous porn site. Back in the day where there
were porn studios, at least in the traditional sense, like
they were filming films, Wicked was a big one back

(40:29):
when like pornstars had contracts and things like that, and
so a Mattel has had to very publicly apologize that
they You know, now, if a mom bought their daughter
one of these dolls and saw it again the websites
always I didn't see the packaging myself, but usually those

(40:49):
things are in some fine print on the back. I
don't know what the what the rate is for how
you know how many people they have going to those websites,
but obviously enough people can plain about it. Now, if
you're a dad and bought this and happen to see that,
you would understand immediately that they had misprinted. It was
probably a dad who brought this to their attention. Hey guys, FYI,

(41:14):
I don't know who's in charge of this. So they
had to like pull Target pulled the dolls completely and
they were going to be like the big retail partner,
and so they had to pull it basically from all
the shelves so that they could get them reprinted, so
like Walmart and Best Buy and you know, you can't

(41:35):
find them on Amazon. The film is going to be
out in a couple of weeks. They're dropping it in
time actually a week from Friday. Week from yeah, next
Friday of be out. But the Barbie dolls or whatever
they are. These are going to show up on eBay
for tons of money, right you go to the store
and get them. They're probably thirty bucks one of these dolls.

(41:58):
But now they've comic Collector's item because of the porn
URL on them.

Speaker 6 (42:04):
I didn't know Jenna Jamison was in Wicked. It's gonna
be a good one.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
Now, what I think they should have done is gone
the other way. Instead of reprinting all these why don't
they flip the script and just make porn dolls, keep
the URL on the packaging and make like old school
Jenna Jamison dolls. Who else is on Wicked? Janine Lynn
Mueller is probably Wicked. Back in the day Ashland gear,

(42:34):
there's still I don't know what kind of audience there
is for it, but I'm a gen xer and there
has to probably be some kind of appetite for that
era of porn. I mean, those girls, it's probably they're
probably considered guilf poor now because you know, in porn,

(42:54):
anybody north of twenty five is a milf. So the
girls from back in the day, the entire cast of
the movie Pirates probably falls into that category. Now, some
of them are dead, some of them by their own hand,
some of them by terrible circumstances, like I think Jesse

(43:17):
Jane is gone now, but plenty of them are still around.
Stormy Daniels was a Stormy Daniels you could pictures performer.
She did a film where she was costplaying. There was
a movie called Maleficent years ago. It was Angelina Joe
Lee playing. The movie was centered on the villain from

(43:40):
Snow White, and they did a parody of that where
Stormy Daniels has got the big head dress on of
course giant rack because she's Stormy Daniels. But mil Milph
Efficent is what it believe if that's what it was called.

(44:02):
If it wasn't it should have been so. Wickedmovie dot Com,
which was on all of these wicked film merch dolls
from Mattel that you are il, took you to the
Kenzie Loves Girls too, and Wicked dot Com has been
their website for thirty years. You know, now I miss
Kenzie Loves Girls one, so I hope I can follow along.

(44:27):
But you know, for the first easily, for the first
ten years of my adult porn consumption, I only watched
lesbian porn. I just wanted to see girls. I like
girls the I like them naked, and the more the merrier,
I didn't need to see a guy in the middle.

(44:49):
This goes against most porn logic. You know. Friends of
mine would be like, well, I like to pretend it's me, Yeah,
but it's not you. And yet what do you touched?
It's not you. I mean now like pov porn and
all they get. But back in the day when you
were just watching DVDs. I mean, we still have a

(45:10):
giant tub in our basement on a shelf that's labeled
porn and it's just got stuff in it that the
two of us have accumulated over the course of our
adult lives. I can't tell you the last time that
cracked it open, because it's all DVDs.

Speaker 6 (45:25):
Well, especially being in radio man, I mean, they would everybody,
they would send free porn. All of the studios would
constantly send free porn to the radio station.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
When I was on in Chicago, my co host and
I we got these sent these things called firebox. Do
you remember firebox? Yeah, this is when they were trying
to get the TV top streaming services going. And it
was just a box that you would plug into your
TV and it would feed you porn. I think it

(45:54):
was called Firebox, and they sent my co host and
I a couple of fireboxes and a couple of DVDs
just for good measure. You didn't need them because this
thing was going to stream all this for you. It
was a service that would get sent to you through
that box, and I don't know whatever happened to it.
There were a handful of companies that were trying to

(46:15):
do that before the age of streaming that we're trying
to They would have these TV top boxes that you know,
Spice Channel was doing it and all that kind of stuff.
But rather than them reprint all this packaging, they should
be doing porn dolls anatomically correct obviously, but I don't know.

(46:41):
Then they wouldn't have to eat all the packaging. You
want to hear some Brian. You might not be hip
to Brian rob Oh, I am okay. Brian's a guy
who calls all the time, and sometimes he's playing guitar.
Sometimes he's just hurling a string of epithets randomly, and
then sometimes he's singing, and sometimes the songs are immediately recognizable,

(47:01):
and sometimes they're not.

Speaker 10 (47:02):
I want the man with the slow hand. I need
a the with the he need I need someone to
spending night, not go in a heeded.

Speaker 2 (47:17):
Rush said, does that ring any bells? Of course you know,
you and I know because we've been new a radio
for one hundred years. What song is he singing? You
don't remember the artist? Are you asking me?

Speaker 11 (47:32):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (47:33):
Slow hand, slow hand? Not Eric Clapton. No, the Pointer Sisters, YEP.
I started in ac radio Allen adult contemporary radio started
Oh did you really? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 (47:46):
Michael Bolton, huge artist on our station back then.

Speaker 10 (47:49):
I want the man with the slow hand. I need
a the with the he need touch. I needn't some understanding, not.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
Go in a Brian he's doing it. I think all
the Pointer Sisters are dead. There might be one left,
but I'm pretty sure that all the original Pointer Sisters,
they were sisters, and then there was a cousin in there.
Maybe I think they're all dead. I think they've all
died over the past few years. Anita is gone, June

(48:24):
Pointer is dead. Ruth Pointer okay, Ruth is alive, the
eldest and last surviving original member of the Pointer Sisters,
but two or three of them are dead. And now
I think it's like cousin. It's still around, but they're
like nieces and cousins and things. I loved their version
of fire ayah, I think so their version was so good.

(48:45):
Of the Ohio Players track, is that.

Speaker 7 (48:47):
What the.

Speaker 19 (48:51):
You?

Speaker 2 (48:55):
I told you a radio baby? Yeah, you nailed it.
Not to Eddie wall Sisters RADU album. It's called black
and white cover of Bruce Springs Through the Balls.

Speaker 7 (49:05):
I'm running in your car, You turn the lady.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
Isn't this what Eddie Murphy was making fun of in
one of his concerts He was like parodying Fire by
the Pointer Sisters. I think so there was a joke
he was doing where he started kind of singing along
to Pointer Sisters Fire. So I don't think that I
knew that this was the Springsteen cover. Yeah huh, Now
all right, it kicks in right here. So young Rob

(49:39):
behind the mic at the A C stationary Yeah yeah,
hitting posts, walking all over lyrics because I sucked at it.

Speaker 11 (49:48):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
Slow had fast talker. It's Rob on the what's called
like Sonny one oh one or something like that? What
was the station you were on?

Speaker 6 (49:57):
The odd part is not far from this one? W
m AS was my first radio field, Massachusetts.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
W m A s all hits all the time, the
best songs on the radio, Alan, Oh, that was the
positioner there, the best best.

Speaker 6 (50:11):
Songs on the radio. Here comes another nine in a row.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
Well hard to argue when you're rolling slow hand by
the Pointer sisters, even if Brian has to sing it,
because you know he's got a way of taking songs
and making them his own, and I can't hold that
against him.

Speaker 10 (50:31):
I want the man with the slow hand. I need
a lover with a he he touched. I need someone
just standing.

Speaker 11 (50:43):
Night, not go in a heed rush.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
Yep, there's slow head from Brian.

Speaker 20 (50:51):
They say, no, man, he's an island.

Speaker 16 (50:54):
But at I a Cleveland, you sure get your chance
to try Hello everybody, Alan got.

Speaker 6 (51:03):
Where did everybody go?

Speaker 20 (51:04):
On one.

Speaker 2 (51:06):
WMMS? I remember seeing in this moment at and it
was still rock on the range, I think down in
Columbus and I had like an all access thing and
so I was watching the one of the main stages

(51:28):
from the catwalk above. It was Lamb of God that year.
It was the year that the bass player from Gogeira
got I saw him get the pyro in the face
and he ran off stage, but in this moment was
playing that year and they weren't. They're good, but they
didn't like really blow my skirt up. But they're so
theatrical and Maria Brink is so good at what she

(51:48):
does that it's a very very compelling band to see,
very dramatic, a lot of costume changes. It's like a
Gothta in her oss up there. Hey, Calves do it again.
Rally in the second half of the game last night
at the United Center against the Bulls one nineteen to

(52:08):
one thirteen, taking them to twelve and zero. Whatever happens
the remainder of the season, because it's a long season,
it's a hell of a start. So the Calves are
off tonight. They will be in Philly tomorrow night. I
think Joe LMBD is going to be back in the
lineup for the Sixers. That is a seven o'clock tip off, sorry,
seven point thirty tip off, So seven o'clock will be

(52:30):
the pre game coverage here on the Buzzard and on
the iHeartRadio app.

Speaker 6 (52:38):
Only twelve more to go for the record. By the way,
twenty fifteen to sixteen Warriors have the longest games without
a loss.

Speaker 2 (52:45):
Twenty four and oh yep, longest stretch or from the
beginning of from the.

Speaker 6 (52:49):
Beginning of the year. They started out twenty four. Oh,
so we only have twelve games to go.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
Who was the first team to beat the Warriors? I
wonder in that stretch. Let me take a look Galley broke.
They also devotion to accuracy. A lot of people texting
me that Maleficent is the villain in Sleeping Beauty, not
snow White. I said, snow White, it's Sleeping Beauty. Okay,
thank you. I saw that movie precisely one time with

(53:14):
Angelina Jolie when my older daughter was little. Who went
to go see Maleficent, and so I didn't. I can't
even tell you who the girl was who played Sleeping
Beauty in that. I just remember Angelina Jolie because she
was really packed into that thing too, and it was okay,
it was entertaining enough to watch. If you listen to

(53:39):
us on iHeartRadio, tell me where you do it. If
you're out of state, I'd like to call out our
bureau chiefs because they do take time to listen to
the program on the app. James is in Tampa, Sasha
listens in Portland. Oregon. Sebastian's in Salt Lake City, Jacob
is in Yucca Valley, California. Colleens in Sarasota, Florida can

(54:03):
leave us messages there too, Hey.

Speaker 18 (54:05):
Ellen, Pete and Pittsburgh Here, Howdy, howdy, Rob, Welcome to
the show. A question for Hian's do you guys prefer
jam or jelly? I, myself and I enjoy a peanut,
butter and jelly sandwich. You can call it immature if
you like whatever, but I find that jams are much
easier to spread uniformly over a toasted or untoasted bread.

(54:25):
I love breads. Sound it out.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
There's a rentom question for the gang.

Speaker 18 (54:30):
Keep it up, guys, buy.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
So this is it now? Huh? Day two and this
is what we've been reduced to. I love Pete and Pittsburgh.
He leaves a lot of messages. Do you prefer jelly
or jam? Obviously there's the X rated jokes to be made,

(54:56):
but I'm going to avoid those because this morning I
made my first PB and J in a while. If
you know how I eat, of course, you know that
stands for pearbrie and homone. I made a PBMJ this morning.
Still going through these jams from an Advent calendar a

(55:18):
year ago. Imagine these tiny little glass jars of jams,
very very tiny, only you know, a couple of knives
worth of scoops in these things. But this was an
Advent calendar that had been in our house, and those
are just for fun and entertainment for our daughter. We don't,
you know, we don't recognize Advent or anything like that.

(55:42):
But I'm still going through these jams from last year.
So this morning I made a PB and J with
one of these jams. It was like an apricot orange situation.
I don't know what it was. So the answer to
your question, Pete, because I don't want to completely ignore you,
is I don't have a preference. I don't even think

(56:02):
I know the difference between jam and jelly. Is that
what he said? Jam and jelly? YEA jelly is the
goop you get like an ee hop right in the
little thing. There's no seeds in it.

Speaker 10 (56:11):
Is that what it is?

Speaker 2 (56:12):
And yeah, okay, I think I don't know the difference.
Are they called preserves? You know? I know Smuckers is
right out here in Orrville. Oh, I'm sure there's people
who could get me hip to that, being a grown
man who doesn't know the difference between these things. But
I would have never thought about it had you not asked, Pete.
So thank you. Uh, let that be the last kind

(56:36):
of question I could ask along those lines. But I
you know, I don't know. Pete comes up with some
wild stuff and that's just one of them. So you
were right.

Speaker 6 (56:48):
Jam is made from crushed or ground fruit, and jelly
is made from fruit juice, giving it a clearer and
firmer consistency.

Speaker 2 (56:56):
Hey, I like it clear. I like my jams like
I like my whims, clear and firm. All my wife
wants to know what year Rob was born?

Speaker 12 (57:07):
What were you?

Speaker 2 (57:08):
You're younger than me? Yeah, nineteen seventy nine, seventy you're
eight years younger than me. I guess, So I'm fifty three.
So okay, let me think. Let me do the math
here on this. So I'm I just turned fifty three
this past summer, and you are eight years younger than
I am. So one carry the two. So so you're

(57:33):
you're forty five, I am When did you? Are you
newly forty five?

Speaker 21 (57:39):
No?

Speaker 2 (57:39):
March ninth, that's kind of newly. Give Maybe you're halfway
forty years old, all right, you know, because the audience
now is going to want to send you a birthday
cards and greetings and things. And I can't discuss my
birthday because two people said that I mentioned it a
lot and I didn't really, But there it is, all right,

(58:06):
So clear and firm, Pete, that's going to be my
new answer to your question. Whichever permutation of those things
is considered clear and firm. So you're forty five years old,
I'm fifty three years old, putting both of us still
a stone's throw away from what is considered to be

(58:27):
retirement age. I don't have a is the retirement age
still sixty five? I know they're kind of jacking it
up because social Security is going to be empty and
so they're trying to get people to retire later. But
I think it is still technically sixty five years old.

Speaker 4 (58:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:41):
I believe, so is the number of people have in
their head when they think about retirement age. But it
also turns out there were a series of neurologists who
apparently were discussing the effects of alcohol, both good and bad,
and there are people who don't think that any amount
of alcohol is good for you, and then there are
other people obviously to say in moderation. You see these
arguments all the time. It's why people are so confused,

(59:05):
and you can't blame them. Hey, drink this, Hey don't
drink this. Hey one or two a week is fine, Hey,
zero is best. Group of neurologists wanted to determine the
exact age that people should stop drinking beer, and they
landed on sixty five years old. They said that when

(59:27):
you turn sixty five, your body starts losing a lot
of neurons there and when you want to preserve the
ones you've got, and that alcohol is technically a neurotoxin.
It's very weak, but it's not good for nerve cells.
So we've still got some time. I was worried when
I read this that it was going to say like
thirty nine is the best time to stop drinking.

Speaker 6 (59:47):
So you mean alcohol in general, You said drinking beer,
So this says beer. I'll stop beer today if I
can continue with the tequila and gin and.

Speaker 2 (59:55):
Right, I don't drink that much beer to begin with.
I couldn't tell you the last time I I had
a beer. I could absolutely tell you the last time
I had three fingers of tequila. It was at about
six forty five this morning, so I don't know what
level neuro toxin that is. I have to think that

(01:00:15):
the agave in tequila has gotta be good for you
to some degree. But by the time you hit sixty five,
it might be time to took her tail. But there's
a lot of old people who like to drink.

Speaker 6 (01:00:31):
I mean, I think at that point, that's when you like,
that's when I hit in the gas, like, I'll be
simple until I get to sixty five, and then I
figured I'm playing with bonus time at that point house money.

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
Yeah, you're like, how much time could I possibly see?
I have this misguided notion in my head that I
will somehow replicate what my grandmother did, who died like
a couple of weeks before. She would have been one
hundred and three. But other than her, she's the outlier
in my family just about everybody I grew up going

(01:01:06):
to funerals. Everybody else was like having heart attacks of
forty seven and stuff like that. So my grandma's the outlier,
and I'm hoping that maybe I'll replicate that.

Speaker 6 (01:01:14):
I'm hoping that for you as well. My wife's grandmother
was the same way one hundred and four years old
when she passed away, one.

Speaker 2 (01:01:19):
Hundred and four hundred and four. That's what I'm saying.
Not a big drinker, what even people who are. When
you see old people who drink, results may vary. You know,
if you're not walking around like cirrhosis of the liver,
that's a whole other thing. But people who are, like hey,
I like it, eyby seven, they start every day with

(01:01:39):
a nip of jamison. That wouldn't be a bad way
to live. You figure, if you're old and have been
drinking heavily most of your life, you've already turned everyone
important to you in your life away. They've all shunned
you at that point. So Johnny Walker is the only
thing you've got left? Hey, Travis.

Speaker 11 (01:02:03):
Alan, so fan, big fan?

Speaker 10 (01:02:05):
How you doing?

Speaker 2 (01:02:05):
What's up? Dude?

Speaker 4 (01:02:07):
Hey?

Speaker 11 (01:02:07):
Is there like a baseline salary that you could get
Bill and Mary to come back, like, I mean, just
for the exposure. Is there was anything talked about as
far as getting those guys back or having them stay.

Speaker 2 (01:02:22):
You mean, they got fired and then there was a
conversation about having them come back.

Speaker 11 (01:02:29):
I just wondered, I mean, they couldn't have been making
that much money, and I was just wondering.

Speaker 2 (01:02:34):
That's why it's so confusing to me, Travis.

Speaker 11 (01:02:39):
I didn't know if they could have negotiated, like your degree.

Speaker 2 (01:02:42):
Your guess is as well. I don't know why anybody
would want to make less money. I mean, if they
came to me and said, hey, we want to pay
you less money, I'd be out of here. There's no
reason to pay me one penny less. So I'm as
confused as you are. But it's also not in my wheelhouse.

(01:03:04):
And those aren't decisions that I am part of or
even meant to be a part of. But I feel
your pain, Travis. Now, is this a roundabout way of
saying that you're not warming to Rob.

Speaker 4 (01:03:21):
Oh who come around? Like we'll get used to it.
I just wasn't sure, like if.

Speaker 11 (01:03:28):
There were plans maybe to bring back kad Zoom Rock
or you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:03:31):
I just I don't know who that is.

Speaker 2 (01:03:33):
But Bill and Mary listen, like I said before, when
Mary is in town to do a show, when Bill's
doing a show, I'd love to see them again. I'd
love to help them promote whatever projects they're doing. But
I am also looking forward. I'm not looking backward, you know.
But I got some most of the messages that we

(01:03:54):
got on social media and the email we got. I
was pleasantly surprised at how positive they were after Rob's
in my first show yesterday. Now they are a handful
of people who were, of course, who were like, oh, Rob,
I don't like it. I'm like everyone on my show
ever here has stunk day one. Rob has been in

(01:04:15):
radio a long time, he has been on the air
a long time. He and I will find our groove.
I'm not worried about that at all. But if you
were going to go back and listen to the very
first show that Bill did with me, you probably would
have hated that too. So it's a matter of listening
with new ears, maybe, Travis. But in answer to your

(01:04:37):
initial question, no, I think it would be very, very
strange if people were fired and then management came to
me and said, now, let's figure out a way to
bring them back. I don't even know how that would work.

Speaker 11 (01:04:50):
Mary had mentioned something about being like a perpetual guest,
and that was a conversation you guys had before all
those went down, so I didn't know, like's if if
something like that could have.

Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
But when Mary, when Mary's in town to like do it,
you know she's going to be doing hilarities that week
of her birthday, the week of Thanksgiving, a couple of
weeks away. I would love to have her in to
promote the shows. I don't know if management would want
be doing that, but I don't quite care either. Okay,
thank you, Travis. All right, there's Travis out in Norwalk

(01:05:26):
who's got some concerns. Rob, just a couple listen. I
totally understand what he's saying too. I mean, you know,
change is tough for sure.

Speaker 6 (01:05:35):
And again to reiterate, no one necessarily signed up for
this incarnation of your show. We're playing the hands that
were dealt all.

Speaker 2 (01:05:46):
Rob wasn't jockeying to be my new co host. By
the way, I'm happy that you said that. I just
want to make sure everbody understands that, Oh, this guy's
the PD. Look, he just wanted to be on the show.
So Bill, now they're friends. Man, This whole thing sucked,
of course. Yeah, we still talk in the group chat.
I was texting with Billy yesterday.

Speaker 6 (01:06:05):
He had the best line of the day in his
in the uh in the YouTube chat there he made
a comment about winning the Buzzard bookie thousand bucks.

Speaker 2 (01:06:12):
I thought it was fantastic. There you go, they can
both win now.

Speaker 20 (01:06:17):
A Dean, hey Ellen, how you doing?

Speaker 2 (01:06:22):
How you doing? Man?

Speaker 20 (01:06:24):
I was thinking you've said before people doing interviews because
they want to sell something.

Speaker 10 (01:06:29):
Great.

Speaker 20 (01:06:30):
Yeah, you know a lot of the interviews you do
people are trying to sell something.

Speaker 2 (01:06:34):
Well, comedians and things, Yeah, they're trying to whatever. Yeah, yeah,
promoting shows.

Speaker 20 (01:06:37):
Sure, so what business is a hurricane? You could get
her on the air for a couple hours, like say
Friday or whatever. Better her talk about our business tape.

Speaker 2 (01:06:48):
Oh, she doesn't need me. She's killing it. She's had
a fantastic second act on Instagram. Well, but again, I
would like to Dean to your point. These are all
people that the audience enjoyed a great deal, and I
fully understand it. They're all very talented people. But I
don't see the point of going backwards either. Well, anybody

(01:07:12):
are just just for nostalgic purposes that you guys.

Speaker 20 (01:07:16):
Got somell anybody you want to have on.

Speaker 2 (01:07:20):
I'm having on? Who I want to have on? I'm
having Rob sit here with me?

Speaker 20 (01:07:23):
Oh, anybody you can give an hour and a half
two hours talk about whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:07:27):
Anybody, Dean, do you have since I have you? Dean,
you've got to have something to promote.

Speaker 20 (01:07:35):
Oh no, no, you don't have like.

Speaker 2 (01:07:37):
A woodworking side hustle or something.

Speaker 4 (01:07:39):
Dean.

Speaker 20 (01:07:40):
Not anymore is to buy and sell gold and silver.

Speaker 2 (01:07:44):
And I just to hit seventy by And now I
don't know what that means is at a purity level.

Speaker 20 (01:07:54):
Oh no, I switched to talking about NFL picks.

Speaker 2 (01:07:58):
Well, but what was it? What was the reference? Seventy
four percent?

Speaker 20 (01:08:02):
I hit seventy four percent on my NFL picks.

Speaker 2 (01:08:06):
Oh I thought he meant his gold and silver was
seventy four percent purity. I was gonna say that's what
I demanded in all of my college girlfriends. Seventy four
percent purity.

Speaker 20 (01:08:19):
Well, college is probably probably pretty accurate.

Speaker 2 (01:08:23):
Then.

Speaker 20 (01:08:24):
I'm sure it went down a little bit after college.
But yeah, seventy four percent. It's good for college. You know,
they're at ninety percent of high school in Northeast Ohio.
They're at ninety five percent in grade school.

Speaker 2 (01:08:41):
It goes down, Dean. I've got to move on. Thank you, though, Pale,
I appreciate it. There's Dean and Akron. No, no, Alan.

Speaker 6 (01:08:50):
What I'm saying is anybody but that guy?

Speaker 2 (01:08:53):
Do you have anybody else that you can bring in?

Speaker 6 (01:08:56):
You're understanding what I'm telling you. I'm saying, anybody Is
there anyone you know that needs to promote something that
you can put on.

Speaker 2 (01:09:03):
I got so many messages from people in the week
that I was gone last you know, off the air
last week about Hey, I'm funny, you should bring me.
I'm like, I'm not looking for I don't need scrubs,
not you know whatever. I appreciate your interest, but I'll
figure it out. The anybody but Rob campaign, It's gonna

(01:09:27):
it'll please you to know you're really it's very very
few people. And it's also day two. By the way,
people are very quick to assess either good or bad. Right,
some of these people making positive assessments, they could be
way off totally by the time we hit twenty twenty five.

(01:09:47):
Have you ever been impregnated with excitement? Well, it looks
like you're showing welcome back to your nude daddy. Allan
Cox w U m MS, I want to sue me

(01:10:36):
A text three five one two in here Alancato YouTube
channel you can watch the show if you like, now
that we're in split screen. Before you know, we were,
Bill was running the switcher and everything. But now since
it's just me and Rob, you can see us both
as a static fixed Frank, is that better A I

(01:11:00):
don't know, don't know. I like to think of it
as not so much better or worse, as more than
perhaps you would have asked for. Since before you're only
getting one person on screen at the time, why waste
all of this in single frames? Why not split screen it?

(01:11:21):
And now I feel I've over explained it. Calves win
again twelve and oh these guys are right now. They
rolled over my Bulls last night, but that's fine to
keep the streak alive one nineteen to one thirteen at
the United Center, Bulls will try to return the favor
here at home on Friday. Calves off tonight, but tomorrow
they'll be in Philly to play the Sixers. So Tomorrow night,

(01:11:44):
seven thirty tip wherever the Sixers play, was that the
Wells Fargo Arena or something, or the TD Center, I
don't know where they play in Philly, but seven o'clock
tomorrow night will be your pregame coverage and if you
want to get yourself some appropriate gear at Clee Clothing Company,
just remember to whip the promo code at them for

(01:12:05):
the month of November, which is MUNI M you and
I Alan. I'm an AutoZone delivery driver in Canton. I'm
in and out of the car all day. Rover was
talking this morning about you trying to poach Dougie. PS.
I like Eager Beaver on your show. See that's how

(01:12:28):
they call Rob when he would pop his head into Rover,
they would call him eager Beaver. And I have to
imagine they still call you that. Yes, so go hey,
Eager Beaver is Alan's co host now, yes, whereas I
just call you Rob. But that's not a rumor. I've
been very clear, and it's also not new news. I've
been very clear for a long time. Dougie and I

(01:12:48):
go way back. Dougie and I go back thirty years,
and I have said for a long time I would
love to have her here. Now, nothing like that is
going to happen. They've got a good thing going down there,
So it's just me being cheap. But if she ever
found herself found herself creatively or psychologically adrift, I'd be

(01:13:12):
happy to welcome her in here with open arms. In fact,
and listen, Coxtra Damas was there's a reason that Coxtra
Damas was buried in the sands of Jamaica many years ago.
We got back from Jamaica the day after the twenty

(01:13:35):
sixteen election. So we were watching the results the next
morning from a bar at the airport in Jamaica. So
we were just drinking ourselves blind because we couldn't believe
what had happened. But of course, I at that time
had predicted that Donald Trump would never be elected president.

(01:13:56):
Of course he was. And so I came back and
said that Coxtra Damis I left buried in the sands
of Jamaica, but I will bring him back for one
I'll say this. Let's say, in an alternate universe down

(01:14:16):
the road, something happened, and do she did end up
on this show. It would take me, mark my words rough.
It would take me precisely ten days to get her
late now, even at her advanced age, be able to
make it happen. I would bring to bear the vast

(01:14:40):
resources of the not only horny male contingent throughout Northeast Ohio,
not even age appropriate I think when you go through
a stretch like that, you got to get some young tail.
And I can't speak for her. I don't know. Of course,
We've had our conversations in private, and I would never

(01:15:02):
divulge to you the content of those conversations. But listen,
what are you gonna do? Captain fun and Eager be
very equal, Captain Fever. Listen. I no, Rob is not
ball Rag. That was Chris Tyler. That was one of
our previous program directors. Rob was hired as PD here

(01:15:25):
to replace Jason Carr was He went back to Florida,
was from there, but he was RPD during COVID, but
he used to be on WMMS, and then they brought
Rob in after an exhaustive I might add nationwide search WMMS.
We're so here in Cleveland, and I've been here almost

(01:15:47):
fifteen years, but people who were born and raised WMMS
kind of take it for granted. They don't realize what
a jewel in the crown of this entire company WMMS is.
It's the only reason I moved to Cleveland, Ohio. If
another radio station in Cleveland, Ohio had wanted to hire
me fifteen years ago, I would have politely declined, But

(01:16:10):
you don't say no to WMMS because everybody in this
industry knows it. So when you get a call and
they go, hey, we would like you to be the
program director of WMMS, what do you say, Rob, You
say yes instantly, you say yes. You move your family
halfway across the country. You move your family to northeast Ohio.

(01:16:31):
That's what was that conversation? Like, obviously the wife and
the daughters know that you're having a conversation of some
kind that you hope will will culminate in you getting
the job. Well, what is that conversation? Like? Girls were
moving to Cleveland, let's just say I like they had
never lived anywhere else, right, order sold the lake? You

(01:16:52):
know you don't understand. Oh I thought you were at
the radio station. No, no, no, no, guys, you don't
understand they play anything.

Speaker 7 (01:17:01):
No.

Speaker 8 (01:17:02):
No.

Speaker 2 (01:17:02):
I actually was like, well, you know, I mean, there's
a giant lake and it's so big it kind of
has waves, and that's sort of like the ocean where
we live. Now. Were you on the ocean? Oh?

Speaker 6 (01:17:12):
I was about Yeah, it was five minutes from the bay,
about twenty minutes from open ocean.

Speaker 2 (01:17:15):
Oh okay, you got a breeze every morning when I
got up here. Wow, yeah, it's a little different here,
I get a breeze. Well, it's when I first moved
here and I was getting the lay in the land
were people would I run into people and listeners. Once
they started to figure out who I was and generate
a little bit of an audience, and to a person,
they wanted to know how was acclimating to the area,

(01:17:36):
and they were like, it's pretty similar. It's just like Chicago,
isn't it. And I was like, no, but they're both
on a lake and that's great. There are a lot
of similarities. Yeah, and we live where we live now,
there's a couple of blocks from the lake. Very fortunate.
I tell my daughter all the time. I said, don't
take for granted where we live, because the entire rest

(01:17:57):
of the state south of US is not near water
like this. It might be near a river, but you're
not near one of the great lakes.

Speaker 6 (01:18:07):
So you sold the lake and then moved to Medina then,
because I'm an a hole, that's.

Speaker 2 (01:18:13):
Really the gist. Daddy pulled the bait and sweitch girls.
I don't know what to tell you, but that's it.
But I have to imagine in the short time you
guys have been here, they've made some new friends. Oh yeah,
and that's always good.

Speaker 6 (01:18:27):
It's actually worked out better, to be honest, for them,
it's been much better. My daughter, you know, kind of
fell ass backwards into a nursing thing that she's into
and that's where she's what she wants to do with
the rest of her life, which would have never happened
had we stayed in Rhode Island. My youngest is doing
well in lacrosse, so it's, you know, again for them,
it's fantastic. I'm still the guy that literally has been

(01:18:49):
nowhere other than Cleveland and Medina, though I drive back
and forth.

Speaker 4 (01:18:53):
That's it.

Speaker 2 (01:18:54):
Madonna is a lacrosse town. I don't know how they
did it. Bill Squire played lacrosse in high school. We
didn't even have a lacrosse team where I went to
high school.

Speaker 6 (01:19:05):
My girls were field hockey players and that wasn't offered
where we are, so we would have had to have
like gone I think the Columbus was the closest club
team or something like that.

Speaker 10 (01:19:14):
Uh.

Speaker 6 (01:19:14):
So, Kelly made the transition to lacrosse. You'd played a
season back in Rhode Island. But now she's she's all lacrosse.
We traveled constantly.

Speaker 2 (01:19:23):
Lacrosse is the pole with the net. Yes, okay, it
looks difficult. I don't know how anybody can catch those
palotas in that little net. Yeah you could do it.
I could, the royal you you I could, Okay. I
mean I was pretty good at track ball when I
was a kid. Remember track ball. It was the big

(01:19:43):
plastic scoop like junior highlight. Yeah. Oh, Alan, my sweet
sweet boy. I will say that you don't make me moist,
but you do, in fact make me very very humid.
Hey listen, some days that's the best you can hope for.

(01:20:06):
That's okay. You make me balmy. You make me very humid,
long as I make you something.

Speaker 18 (01:20:13):
Hey Ellen, Peter Fitzberg, hear this just in.

Speaker 2 (01:20:16):
See Pete Pittsburgh he leaves he wanted to know about
jams and jellies, and he's he's always ruminating on something.
You got to give it up to him.

Speaker 18 (01:20:24):
Hey Ellen, Peter Fitzberg, hear this just in came down
the corporate You're not gonna be a comedy talk show
in Cleveland anymore. Now you're going to talk about gourmet
pet breakfasts. Okay, start with a like oat meal and
eggs for dogs and just keep it alive moment. Okay,
I's go on with the show.

Speaker 2 (01:20:41):
Bye gourmet pet breakfasts. We went from jam and listen.
He brings up a good point, and this has kind
of been the crux of this whole conversation we've been
having in the wake of Bill and Mary getting let
go is I have no clue how this company operates anymore.
I don't know what the priorities seem to be or
what they are. So as a result, I have had

(01:21:02):
to really drill down and try to plan for any contingency.
So you think you're being funny, Pete, but I'm one
sep ahead of you.

Speaker 19 (01:21:14):
Time for boone Appetite with Alan and Rob.

Speaker 2 (01:21:19):
Let's just just dive right in gourmet pet breakfasts. It's
not something that a lot of people think about. I've
got a dog, you might have some kind of animal
in your home, but when it comes to gourmet breakfasts,
what are you gonna do? There's no shortage of companies
that could hook you up. I know what we do
at Cosa Cox. I feed our dog. We have a Miniossi.

(01:21:42):
We feed her a steady diet of and this is
all she ever gets bananas, sardines and castor oil. We'll
just mix that into a bowl and that's all she gets.
That's our gourmet breakfast A cosa.

Speaker 6 (01:21:58):
Cos we're actually very similar in my house. Alan, what
kind of animal do you have? I have two dogs.
I have two Shitsuos.

Speaker 2 (01:22:06):
Believe it or not.

Speaker 6 (01:22:08):
I had never had small dogs before, but I found
out they in fact love breakfast, and that was I
love breakfast. So we decided to go with the shitsuo
as the preferred animal. We feed them chicken, egg, pumpkin
mm hmm, ham, and occasionally occasionally I will add fish

(01:22:29):
oil all at once, all at once?

Speaker 2 (01:22:34):
Do you salt to taste or just well? I wait
on them right if they dive right in right to
give you the paws up or the paws down? Correct?

Speaker 11 (01:22:43):
All right?

Speaker 19 (01:22:43):
Well there you go this good time for bone appetite
with Alan and Rob.

Speaker 2 (01:22:50):
Well, then get rid of me now, Bobby Pitts two
steps ahead of you. Given the people what they want,
gourmet pet breakfast. Fine, do that all right? Ham? Uh, Well,

(01:23:11):
because you have to. I'm constantly having to remind my
daughter of things that our dog cannot eat, right, blueberries, grapes.
I remember when I was my ex wife and I
we had gotten a dog when we first moved to
Pittsburgh and from a shelter, got this dog. Loved this dog.
But one afternoon, she and I had gone somewhere and

(01:23:33):
I had left out I don't even think I realized
I did it. Obviously, I had left out a bag
of chocolate covered blueberries, and our dog while we were
gone ate the whole thing. And we came back and
my wife at the time was losing her mind because
obviously those are two things dogs can't eat. I was

(01:23:55):
primarily concerned. I wasn't worried about the dog dying. I
was worried that our home it was going to be
a diarrhea sprinkler. That's what I was worried about. And
neither of those came to pass. The dog didn't get killed.
Took her to the vet. Obviously, it cost me about
five hundred dollars for them to remedy the situation.

Speaker 6 (01:24:16):
Did they make her puke?

Speaker 2 (01:24:17):
They made her puke. They made me puke just for
good measure. They came over and stuck their fingers down
my throat, and I don't mind telling you my gag
reflex is something to envy. Hell, we give our dog
a gourmet breakfast of Polish sausage and spaghetti, now that
will be something that will kill you. I've got friends

(01:24:40):
of ours, many many years ago, had a dog and
they wanted to give him whatever he wanted. But my friend,
for whatever reason, her mom would give the dog a
peach every day. The dog would consume an entire peach,
I guess, not really give her peaches and meatballs. Essentially,

(01:25:01):
they were a big Italian family, I guess, not realizing
that there's so much sugar in peaches that it's really
bad for dogs or animals of that size. And one
day their dog literally keeled over and died in the kitchen,
like a cartoon where they just go teets up. The

(01:25:22):
dog just fell over from the steady dye of peaches
and meatballs. Well, was it the peach or the meatball?

Speaker 15 (01:25:28):
That's the.

Speaker 2 (01:25:30):
That's the question. I mean, the anecdote that she had
given back to me from the vet was that it
had been the sugar in the peach. But I was like,
a meatball a day didn't sound like something that was
going to eventually murder a dog.

Speaker 6 (01:25:44):
There's cholesterol levels on that poor animal.

Speaker 2 (01:25:46):
Yeah, but that's how that's how it works. So anyway, Pete,
to your point, I'm I can't even say I'm surprised
that you are getting corporate correspondence that I'm not getting.
That makes complete sense to me. Now, I can't imagine
it any other way. Does roby the same thing that

(01:26:08):
he gives the dog all in one bowl? Yes? Does
rob eat the same thing that he gives to the
dog all in all? I see, all in one bowl?

Speaker 10 (01:26:18):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (01:26:19):
Just for quality control, of course. Ah yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:26:22):
I mean listen, I wouldn't feed my animals something that
I wouldn't eat myself.

Speaker 2 (01:26:26):
It's polite. People are telling me the dogs can't eat blueberries.
I thought the dogs couldn't. They can't eat grapes.

Speaker 6 (01:26:32):
They cannot eat chocolate.

Speaker 2 (01:26:34):
Right, I knew the chocolate. They can't eat raisins, which
as I understand, are completely different than grapes. But I
didn't realize that. I thought that the chocolate and the blueberries.
This person says they feed their dog blueberries and green
beans every day.

Speaker 6 (01:26:47):
So I should I should go back. They they should
not eat chocolate. They if they have milk chocolate, it's
not like a death sentence. If they eat dark chocolate,
big problem.

Speaker 2 (01:26:58):
Okay, well, dark chocolate is what we trafficking at Cosa Cox,
So that's why we don't.

Speaker 14 (01:27:02):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (01:27:02):
Milk chocolate, of course is for children. Yes, uh, so
we don't mess with that there, even though I do
have a children in my house and giant six pound
bags of Halloween candy still being slowly consumed.

Speaker 7 (01:27:18):
I met as I gave him marijuana. Oh great show on.

Speaker 14 (01:27:26):
W U M M S.

Speaker 2 (01:27:50):
And it was like these weed studies because they always
feel like where they say correlation is not causation. Just
because two things are connected doesn't mean that one causes
the other. They did a huge study of European teenagers
who were pot smokers between the ages of fifteen and

(01:28:14):
twenty four. This is from some European organization that monitors
adolescent drug use an addiction, and they came to the
conclusion in the study that if you start smoking pot
before the age of sixteen, you're twice as likely to
experience unemployment in adulthood. Now, obviously there's a stereotype there

(01:28:40):
that it would just make you lazy. I tend to think,
because it's a delicate balance.

Speaker 22 (01:28:47):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:28:47):
If you use it too little, you're not really having
a good time. If you use it too much, you're
tipping that pain and pleasure thing there. But you strike
the write balance and you could be laser focused in
your everyday life. I started smoking pot when I was
fifteen years old. I didn't have my first drink until

(01:29:09):
I was sixteen, and that was so bad. I got
so drunk that I didn't have alcohol again for eleven years.
I didn't drink in college. I didn't start drinking again
until I got into radio. Because you know, you're standing
in a bar doing an appearance or something for two hours,

(01:29:32):
and if you don't know anybody because you're new in town,
I'm like, well, I can't possibly do this sober. But
to make the again, this is a study that they
did in the you know, European teens or whatever. But
it starting smoking weed before you're sixteen means that you're
going to twice likely to be unemployed as an adult.

(01:29:54):
I'm curious how they extrapolated that out. I mean they
were following they were following these people in the study
for about a decade. Maybe it has more to do
with the employment situation in Europe than the pot. How
old are you when you well, did you smoke pot?
I did?

Speaker 4 (01:30:13):
I was never.

Speaker 6 (01:30:14):
I've never been a big, big fan of it. I
usually the problem, honestly is I do it at the
wrong times. I'm usually already drinking for a long period
of time and then I'll smoke, and then I have
a big problem on my own.

Speaker 2 (01:30:25):
Oh yeah, yeah, I'm not. Sometimes I'll get cross faded.
But as a general rule, I'll do one or the other.

Speaker 12 (01:30:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:30:30):
So when I think, probably the first time, I was
probably around sixteen, seventeen years old something like.

Speaker 2 (01:30:34):
That, because my parents were pretty square my parents. You know,
I had friends who were like, oh, fort I smoked.
It was with my dad, which like sounds really cool,
But then when you become an adult, I'd be like,
I would never smoke pot with my kid. No, not
as a teenage you know. Yeah, I was fourteen and
my dad had a I'm like, yeah, that sounds really

(01:30:57):
when when you're in high school, that sounds cool. But
my parents were not those people, which is perfectly fine.
My parents barely drank. It just wasn't their thing, so
they weren't secretly like smoking right now.

Speaker 7 (01:31:11):
No.

Speaker 2 (01:31:11):
Well, no, both of my parents were heavy smokers before
I was born, so my mom quit cold turkey. I
think my dad smoked until my middle brother was born.
But I'm the only person in my among my siblings
who doesn't smoke, who's never smoked. Really, both my brothers

(01:31:32):
and my sister all smoke.

Speaker 6 (01:31:34):
I was a heavy cigarette smoker. I smoked for about
fifteen years.

Speaker 2 (01:31:37):
I mean, that's what I'm talking about. Cigarettes, Yeah, not pot. Yeah,
but my parents were big, you know. I was born
on an army base, so yeah, I mean my dad
started smoking cigarettes he was fifteen. My mom, because she's
a lovely person and very sweet, thought, I know how
I'll get your dad to stop smoking. I'll start, and
he'll see me and not want me to hurt myself,

(01:32:00):
so he'll quit. And flash forward. My mom's a four
pack a day smoker.

Speaker 7 (01:32:06):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:32:07):
Yeah, I was never that heavy. She was heavy because
she's on an army base. She got nothing to do. Yeah,
she's lighting a new one on the tip of the
last one. Yeah. I was a pack and a half,
two packs at my highest What was your brand, Marlborough? Yeah,
that was the the Red Guy Cowboy Killers. I just

(01:32:27):
remember being with my He and I are fifteen months apart.
He's fifteen months younger than me, and I remember being
with him when he bought a pack of camel unfiltereds
you know, when you're like picking the leaves out of
your teeth, And I remember being with him. This was
before you had to be, at least in Illinois. There
were nothing saying you couldn't be, you know, you had
to be eighteen of my smokes and he bought and

(01:32:50):
I just stood there. I was like, don't start this.
I'm telling you don't start that's fine. I'm like, okay,
and flash forward. All my said smoke.

Speaker 6 (01:33:00):
Both my parents were heavy smokers too, so it was
I remember being like seven years old, eight years old,
we had a whatever the Pontiac version.

Speaker 14 (01:33:09):
Of the.

Speaker 6 (01:33:11):
Chevelle Chavette was like the Sunfire whatever that was. We
had one, yeah, and I remember sitting out there lighting
roach the clips on fire whatever the butts that were
still there, lighting them and pretending I was smoking like
my parents. So I would say my first drag of
a cigarettes is probably like one of seven. But I
didn't start really smoking until I was about fifteen.

Speaker 2 (01:33:32):
I started smoking pot when I was sixteen, I'm thirty four,
and I have a great job. Well, yes there are.
I mean it's not to a person. And again, there's
a lot of people who are like, uh, functioning potheads,
I guess, for lack of a better term, as a
lot of people who smoke a lot and do just fine.

(01:33:53):
So I always chalked it up to less about you
were smoking weed and more about like you might have
been generally kind of directionless or didn't really necessarily know
in what direction you wanted to go. Alan, I started
smoking weed when I was fifteen, and I have a
master's degree now, but I can't find a job to

(01:34:14):
use it, and I'm not lazy. I sn't know what
it is. Maybe smoking weed put a curse on me. Listen,
I'm not well versed in the vast array of theologies
around the world, but I don't know if there's a
marijuana curse. I don't know. You got to check your strain, homeboy.

(01:34:38):
Thanks to Matt by the way, very quick email to
me that I don't know if this rises to the
level of a milestone, but I'm happy to see it
because for a long time it wasn't the case. He says,
Now you can finally type Romo fijo into Google and
the Rocket Mortgage field House will come up. For a
long time, you couldn't do that. When I came up

(01:35:00):
with Romo Fijo years ago, Cleveland Police Department adopted it
pretty quickly. People would send me clips of police radio
where they were referring to Romo fijo. The people over
at Cleveland Scene have used it in articles and things.
I just got to r M and it finished it

(01:35:22):
for Mergage field House a lot, not rom Space Night. Yeah.
So for a long time that wasn't the case because
I don't Google myself, but I would google Romo fio
to see if maybe it was taking off, And now
it has so. And again, I don't know if there

(01:35:46):
is a nickname for it. I mean, people associated with
this program or familiar with it, we'll say Romo fijo.
But I don't know if the announcers over there are
calling it something else. I think early on they were
trying to make a rock happen or something, and I
don't think that ever took it. So I don't know
if there is a professional nickname for the Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse.

Speaker 6 (01:36:09):
I've only been here for a couple of years. But
I noticed that people always call it by what it
was before the que Yeah yeah, yeah that and also
the Jake Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:36:22):
Yeah so and it was the gun Arena before that.
But thank you, Matt, I appreciate that. So, speaking of studies,
I don't know how much this. It sounds made up
to me, I made up. But people lying that half
of Americans, I'm I getting this right. Let me half

(01:36:43):
of Americans have had a threesome. And the only reason
that it jumps out of me is they say this
is up from fifteen percent. I'm like, okay, you don't
go from fifteen percent to half, because it sounds like
a question that people will say, oh yeah, you're at
a threesome. Oh yeah, of course it was me, my

(01:37:03):
cousin the dog. Does that count. Yeah. They asked a
whole lot of people about threesomes and they said the
results are way up. Now Here in northeast Ohio there is,
let's say, a vibrant swinging community. You know, when you're

(01:37:23):
out there in the sticks, there's nothing else to do.
It's much more official and professional once you get into
your major metropolitan areas. But the further you go out
from the cities in your concentric circles, probably the more
upside down pineapples you're going to see, because people are

(01:37:45):
looking for whatever they can pick up and kicks. Anytime
we get onto the subject of swinging, I am awash
in messages from people, Hey, we do it out here
in Stark County. Of course you do it in Stark County.
There's nothing else to do out there about other people.
But this study, they're like, hey, far and away. Threesome

(01:38:07):
is the most common sexual fantasy among American adults.

Speaker 10 (01:38:13):
Now.

Speaker 2 (01:38:15):
I don't know if they what type of questions they asked,
other than have you ever had three way sex? And
obviously more men than women said that they had. And
you have to assume that those guys, by and large
are talking about an FFM situation. I have been fortunate

(01:38:41):
to have been involved in a couple of them. I
have no interest or had no interest in an MMF threesome.
It just and I had friends that didn't care. They
were like, hey, man, whatever, Eiffel Tower, the whole thing.
I had no interest in that whatsoever. I didn't have

(01:39:02):
super close guy friends to begin with that I'd be like, hey, Brole,
like you get there, I'll get here and then we'll
h No, I suppose I wouldn't have been opposed to it.
I would just be afraid that I would not look
proper or under my friend. Oh you know what I mean,

(01:39:27):
Like it's a competition. Well yeah, I mean if if
you're standing next to somebody, you both dropped trout in
that situation, See, well, there's a way to lose in both.
I think the most common way to lose in the
FFM is the two girls enjoy each other more than
they enjoy you. For sure. You know, there's all kinds
of anecdotes about guys who end up sitting in the

(01:39:47):
corner which listen, you know, it's not a bad way
to spend a Tuesday night. But when you get into
the realm of like I said, the swinging community, which
I'm not a part of, and I rely on those
people to keep me honest with what does and doesn't
happen in that community. But I'm sure there's a lot

(01:40:11):
of greased up mattresses out there with the plastic still
on them to get things going. So so you, as
a younger man, you came up goose egg in this survey.

Speaker 6 (01:40:23):
Or I did, Yeah, that was that was not I
would say almost once was the was the only answer
I could ever all most.

Speaker 2 (01:40:32):
Once was did you did you recuse yourself out of
that fear you described?

Speaker 7 (01:40:37):
No.

Speaker 2 (01:40:38):
No. By the way, this would have been the the
two females, But I was this was a much different
time in my life.

Speaker 6 (01:40:46):
I was a non married man.

Speaker 2 (01:40:48):
Obviously, because your wife listening to the show, now, is
that where you're trying to get of course, of course,
well no, I I this is information that she would
already have too.

Speaker 6 (01:40:57):
There was a there was a girl that I was
that I was dating, who we didn't necessarily get along
all that great, and we were at a party one
night and I went off with one and then another
one came in, and then the girlfriend came back and
that ended the whole thing.

Speaker 2 (01:41:09):
So I had to abort the mission at that point. Yeah,
it's fraught with difficulty too, I mean, unless you really
now because Rob and I are a couple of regular
looking guys. You know, speak for yourself, Alan, I am
a regular looking guy. There's a lot of people out
there who can snap their fingers and you know, get

(01:41:32):
a couple of ladies to hop into a hot tub
with them, right and God bless them too. Man, I
mean no jealousy whatsoever. If I ain't having a good time,
somebody better be. But I just thought it was funny
that they said the results went from fifteen percent to
forty eight forty nine percent, Like, okay, well, I don't
know what's changed.

Speaker 6 (01:41:52):
The people they asked that.

Speaker 2 (01:41:55):
It just seems like, well, right, yeah, I guess so,
because they say a threesome is the most popular sexual fantasy,
but it's also at the very top of the most
disappointing because people it's it's very novel, People want the
variety whatever. It's just you're curious out of pure curiosity.

(01:42:17):
But you can understand where would be very, very disappointing.

Speaker 6 (01:42:20):
I also think people probably play it up right, like
anything anybody knows about a threesome prior to being in one,
they've seen in a porno, Right, Yes, so you're assuming
it's going to be this beautiful thing, and I have
to assume a lot of times it's just not.

Speaker 2 (01:42:35):
What you would expect it to be. Well, also, because
people in real life don't look like people in porno, right,
So yeah, it's a lot of regular people climbing on
each other and it's not always cheese into it into

(01:42:55):
what then? And not only that she just called me,
she told me she spoke with the roommate and the
roommates into the minaj to oh, what's a scene? Man?

Speaker 21 (01:43:10):
Do you E would just get down on your knees
and thank God that you know me and that access
to my dementia.

Speaker 2 (01:43:19):
What are you talking about. I'm not gonna do it.
You're not gonna do it.

Speaker 17 (01:43:23):
You're gonna do it.

Speaker 10 (01:43:24):
I can't.

Speaker 2 (01:43:24):
I'm not an orgy guy. Are like discovering plutonium?

Speaker 7 (01:43:34):
I like?

Speaker 2 (01:43:35):
Who went on the subject of a threesome? He says,
I'm not an orgy guy. As if a threesome constitutes
an orgy, I always thought it required more people, Like
a threesome is a thing, it's designated by the number.
I always felt like an orgy had to be more
than that, like way more.

Speaker 6 (01:43:51):
Could That have Perhaps been part of the joke is
that he was so square he figured an orgy.

Speaker 2 (01:43:59):
I didn't think at all, kinds of robes and lotions,
and I gotta get orgy friends. I can't have regular friends.
Do this. Hey yeah, orgy love it? Yeah, yeah, threesome.
I would never think of an orgy, even four, I
don't know what them again, I know you swingers don't

(01:44:20):
necessarily you're very kind of specific about what that community is,
and you know so you wouldn't. I don't know if
you refer to those meetups as orgies, but you might
know better than I what a minimum number is for
an orgy. It seems that four would be the number
really for an orgy. I always figured out maybe double digits.

Speaker 6 (01:44:38):
Two couples, you would think, right, like, if you're in
the same well, that's a foursome, right, But wouldn't that
still be entry level orgy?

Speaker 2 (01:44:45):
Good pun, thank you?

Speaker 4 (01:44:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:44:48):
Maybe maybe? Or does it require an odd person out?
You gotta have a rotator? Ah, right, a switch hit
team guy. Yeah, somebody gets tapped in. Come on, bro,
I'm ready. Yeah, let me see. Well, I don't know,
I'm sure. Here we go. How minimum number minimum number?

(01:45:12):
Four orgy in Stark County, Ohio.

Speaker 6 (01:45:19):
There is no minimum number of people needed for an orgy.

Speaker 2 (01:45:22):
What is the minimum number for a gang bang?

Speaker 6 (01:45:25):
It says the prevailing opinion is that an orgy should
have at least five people.

Speaker 2 (01:45:28):
So you're right, so at least five, that's what it says.
The how that's on Masterclass Guide to Orgies is that
Steve Martin's I'm gonna sign up for that one and
how to participate. There's a whole all right, Well, what's
your finger bang.

Speaker 23 (01:45:43):
Finger bang bang bang bang finger bang bang finger bang
bang bang bang, finger bang bang, finger bang bang bang bang,
binger bang bang, finger bang bang bang.

Speaker 2 (01:45:57):
Yeah, I gotta break to our Northeast Ohio swinger community.
By the way, you're doing the lord's work.

Speaker 7 (01:46:04):
Call the Alan Cox Show.

Speaker 2 (01:46:06):
You did your piece of crap two one six seven
eight one double o seven or one three four eight
one double oh seven three five two on a text me.

(01:46:29):
If you're watching the show, you'll see Robin i ore
glowing faces in split screen on the Alan Cox Show
YouTube channel. I knew that just the mere mention of threesomes, orgies,
whatever it was, would send up the bat signal throughout
Northeast Ohio and get the members of that community to

(01:46:50):
fill me with a little bit of information. Al my
wife and I aren't swingers, however, we do go to
a couple of adult clubs in Cleveland. What does that mean?
Like secret? I need to know more about that, Like
eyes wide shut, right, like you're wearing the harlequin masks

(01:47:11):
al and I've had more threesomes than I can even count,
humble bragg, but the one that sticks out the most
was me my ex wife, my former female best friend,
A couple of viagras, a big bag of coke, and
one hell of an evening. Not like a real classy

(01:47:33):
set up there, exactly.

Speaker 6 (01:47:34):
A coke probably went more than just an evening.

Speaker 2 (01:47:36):
Yeah, was she your ex wife at the time. What
a hodgepodge of vaginas for this guy to round up.
You had a threesome with my ex wife and my
former female best friend. It's like you're just going through
your contacts, let's see who might be up for this.

Speaker 6 (01:47:54):
You almost have to wonder if that's why both are
formers ex wife and former best friend. That had happened
after the yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:48:00):
Right right? Imagine she's his former best friend and the
other one is his ex wife because they got together. Oh,
I lost a friend and a lover. You lost a
friend and a lover, and we both gain. I forget
how that whole thing goes. But even with the couple

(01:48:20):
of viagraas this guy ends up with an ex wife
and a former female best friend, who got custody of
the big bag of coke? Is my question?

Speaker 1 (01:48:30):
A night they learned, But technically an orgy requires a
minimum of six participants. What goes masturbation? One on one threesome?
Two couples swinging, two couple of swinging with a luky
lou orgy.

Speaker 2 (01:48:41):
Six It frightens me that you know that everybody knows
that two couples swinging with the looky lou. That's what
I'm saying, he says. Six. I still think you need
a you need a floater, a looky lou on. An
orgy needs at least five plus a firing squad of

(01:49:03):
dudes keeping fluffed on the bench.

Speaker 19 (01:49:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:49:09):
Tell Rob that car he's talking about was the Pontiac
T one thousand. That was it? No, that was Robert
Patrick Terminator two. Yeah, he played a Pontiac T one
thousand and his brother Frontz Filter. There are a couple
of adult swinger clubs downtown. We went to one as

(01:49:32):
a joke, a joke, and we ended up having a
great time, even though we're not into doing things with
other couples. All right, Well, listen with Charlie. Sheen's been
in this show, and I take him at his word,
whether it's scripted or you know, he's was infusing two
and a half men with his own information. Go love

(01:49:56):
that guy. So yeah, okay, well good, thank you for
the clarification. Alan. Are you still allowed to have guests
on Yes, of course. I've got a couple of very
funny dudes in later in the week. Got a Jim
twos who was on the first or second Alan Cock

(01:50:17):
Show comedy tour. And he comes into town when he's
or comes on the show, and he's in town and
he's recording his new hour this week I think on Friday,
but he'll be in here on Thursday, and then on Friday,
our friend Billy Gardell, we'll be back in here from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania,
and I think he's doing the weekend at Hilarities. It's
Mike and Molly, right, Mike and Molly and Bob Hart's

(01:50:40):
Abashola is his show over on CBS, which I think
is still in production. I don't think they've wrapped on that.

Speaker 6 (01:50:48):
Yeah, I didn't even know it was still him, dude,
You're right, he lost this enough weight.

Speaker 2 (01:50:51):
Very thin, but looks good and is happier and healthier
and or power to him. Let's see what's coming in
on the app here. Allan, you've got to be the

(01:51:12):
dumbest Dumbo craft I've ever heard in my life.

Speaker 5 (01:51:16):
Our country is going to be so much better without
Kamala that you've gotten in Headhunter and sleep be creepy
Joe the refugee from an old folksa make America great again,
Go Trump twenty twenty four and beyond.

Speaker 14 (01:51:36):
Wow.

Speaker 16 (01:51:39):
And beyond.

Speaker 2 (01:51:41):
And he's not kid neither. Trump's never gonna leave. All right, well,
God bless you. Wait, he knows he won. Right, he's
still talking like the election's coming. From twenty twenty four.
I was literally gonna ask from twenty twenty five. I
mean yeah, I wasn asking. It was a nold message. Yeah,
some people still leaning into that I was reading. I

(01:52:02):
think it was in Denver. One of our bureauchees in
Denver sent me the story about this woman who's running
a small business and was putting giant Trump one signs
in her yard and then was complaining that she lost
customers and it's somehow their fault that they didn't want
to patronize their business. And my only thought was, well,

(01:52:23):
it's because those signs don't those aren't a flex anymore.
I mean, those people have had those Trump one signs
hanging up for the past four years as a troll.
I don't think you'll never convince me that those people
actually believed he won. It was just one big troll.
Nobody really thought that, because what the Democrats stole it

(01:52:47):
the last time, but this time they forgot to do that.
So I don't think anybody actually believed that it was
just one big troll. But my point is those signs
have been around the whole time, so putting one up now, ironically,
when he actually did win it, it kind of renders
the whole thing moot. But that guy, he sounds happy,

(01:53:11):
He's pleased as punch. Hey Ethan in Rochester.

Speaker 12 (01:53:17):
Hey, Hey, what's up?

Speaker 7 (01:53:18):
Guys?

Speaker 2 (01:53:19):
Did you move back?

Speaker 10 (01:53:21):
I did?

Speaker 2 (01:53:22):
Yeah, not so great, so Ethan was. We would hang
out with Ethan occasionally. It was kind enough to come
out when I have appearances and stuff, and you had
moved from Rochester to Cleveland, and now you've moved back
to Rochester.

Speaker 12 (01:53:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 14 (01:53:36):
Well technically I'm in the finger Lakes, but but yeah, yeah,
I had to come back this way from my mom.

Speaker 2 (01:53:41):
Now, how many finger Lakes in an orgy rob anything
in the Oh good, yeah, okay, so okay, so how
how are things going back there in the finger Lakes?

Speaker 14 (01:53:55):
They're they're not great, But you guys are talking about
threesomes and stuff, and you've read my text I forgot
to give you more contact.

Speaker 2 (01:54:02):
Wait wait, which was your text? Which one was you?

Speaker 12 (01:54:05):
The big bag of Coke and the handful of my
head ethan?

Speaker 2 (01:54:09):
All right, so you have had more threesomes than you
can counter? You being cheeky?

Speaker 12 (01:54:15):
No, I'm dead serious. Yeah, it's pretty fun out.

Speaker 2 (01:54:17):
I don't think I knew you had an ex wife.
You're a young man.

Speaker 12 (01:54:21):
I mean, I'm in my mid thirties. Actually two ex wives?

Speaker 2 (01:54:25):
What man? This guy like he likes to go in. Wow.
So basically your whole adult life has been getting married
and having threesomes. Hell yeah, with the wives or just
one of the wives, you've worked into it.

Speaker 12 (01:54:42):
The second one was definitely more into it than the first,
that's for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:54:45):
But you had to convince both of them or they
were down to clown.

Speaker 10 (01:54:50):
See.

Speaker 14 (01:54:50):
The best part of it is like the second one,
somehow she had convinced herself to talk me into it,
and I was.

Speaker 2 (01:54:56):
Like, oh yeah, drible. Oh I don't know, honey, me
let me sleep on it, let me think. Although it's
contingent on who she wants to bring in.

Speaker 12 (01:55:07):
She came to me wanting to bring another woman around,
and I was like, I know a couple of them.

Speaker 2 (01:55:11):
Let's well know that. That's what I mean. I'm assuming
another woman. But even listen, not every woman is going
to make it move.

Speaker 7 (01:55:19):
Well.

Speaker 12 (01:55:20):
I mean these ones around here that I try to
tend to be around, they do, all right.

Speaker 2 (01:55:25):
The Ladies of the finger Lakes. I think I have
that calendar for next year, the Swinging Ladies of the
finger Lakes. All right. So that was your text. So
you've spent most of your adult life having threesomes, viagras,
a big bag of coke and a hell of an evening.
Where was this? Give me a geographical location.

Speaker 12 (01:55:45):
It's between Ithaca and Geneva, where we were living at
the time.

Speaker 2 (01:55:49):
Okay, so upstate. I want to make sure there's nobody cares.
I want to make sure it wasn't like in Vegas
or something. And okay, close to home.

Speaker 14 (01:55:55):
No, no, yeah, I know it was out here and
the marriage was kind of on the rocks are ready
to kind of start, so I was like, you know what,
at least were going to ride it till the wheels
fall off, and uh man, we had a That was
a pretty fun night, But the part that happened after
the fact kind of sucked. I mean, of course, when

(01:56:16):
people have cell phones with video cameras and you're doing
those types of things, you record all of that. Well,
in order to try and get back at me, the
ex wife had sent this these videos to all kinds
of people of look at how much of a terrible
human he is, blah blah blah blah blah, and accidentally
gave me one of the greatest, greatest things that he
could ever do, one of the most greatest humble brags,

(01:56:37):
I suppose.

Speaker 2 (01:56:38):
So you really earned your threesomes because they would end
up causing nothing but trouble. Oh yeah, yeah, It's like
every time these things would happen, it would always immediately
make my life worse.

Speaker 12 (01:56:49):
But it was a lot of fun till that fell apart.

Speaker 6 (01:56:52):
But if she was involved, why was it that she
sent out a text that said you were a bad guy.

Speaker 4 (01:56:58):
Well, because she was vindictive.

Speaker 2 (01:57:03):
Oh okay. Also, people are texting me ethan and they
do bring up a good point. You said I've had
more threesomes than I can count. We didn't establish how
high you can count.

Speaker 12 (01:57:14):
I mean, I can count at least my fingers in toes.

Speaker 2 (01:57:17):
Come on, well, they're right there in front of you. Okay, Well,
I assume that it wouldn't even occur to me, but
I do like to provide the audience with as much
information as I possibly can. How long has it been
since your last one, Ethan? Have they fallen off? Or
are you just less you're looking for them less?

Speaker 12 (01:57:37):
No, and I mean they still haven't frequent enough. I mean, because.

Speaker 2 (01:57:40):
Ethan's like a cool looking guy, right kind. He kind
of looks like a live wire. He's got a bunch
of tats. Like he's a cool looking guy. He's a
guy who looks like, hey, if you get too close
to me, we're going to be in a threesome. One
of those Whether about the viagra in the big bag

(01:58:01):
of cocaine, I.

Speaker 14 (01:58:04):
Mean, maybe one of the greatest compliments I've ever received
from another man, but I appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (01:58:09):
Assuming you didn't mean a big bag of Coca cola.
Oh okay, good, big bag of coke. I just want
to make sure we were on the same page. All right,
thank you, Ethan. Make sure that you uh uh yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:58:20):
Go ahead real quick.

Speaker 14 (01:58:21):
I also want I also wanted to say, it's it's
pretty awesome to have Rob on there and like that
guy's pretty freaking great.

Speaker 12 (01:58:26):
I can't wait to see where you guys take this.

Speaker 6 (01:58:28):
New version of the show so well.

Speaker 2 (01:58:31):
I agree with everything you said, Ethan, Thank you, pill
cool doeculate. Here you go, there's Ethan who is newly
back in Rochester the finger Lakes. Somebody texted me Alan,
you're losing female listeners talking about threesomes? How dare you?
Isn't it bad enough that we're currently in a culture

(01:58:52):
where women are being discounted left and right, losing female
listeners talking about threesomes, gaining female listeners talking about threesomes.
It's empowerment? How dare how damn? How daare are you? Okay?

(01:59:13):
So Ethan's not currently I wanted to make sure he
wasn't calling me mid threesome because that would have been weird. Hi, Ellen.

Speaker 17 (01:59:24):
Last week I was in a big state of shock
and I really felt for you and Bill and Mary
and selfishly for myself at how my routine of listening
to you, guys, is going to change. But you had
me at the Cox and Beaver show yesterday, and I
know everything's gonna be okay.

Speaker 2 (01:59:44):
It's gonna be okay. Well, because the morning show calls
Rob Eager Beaver, and I said, yes, there had been
a brief conversation about rebranding the show Cox and the Beaver,
but of course we didn't. But it was the little
end with the apostrophe to make it look nice. Cox.
You think this company is going to pay for rebranding,

(02:00:07):
Hell's no. I already buy my own stickers and I'm
happy to do it, and I'm happy to mail them out.
I just mailed out another batch this morning. If you
want to represent wherever you are, If you want an
Alan Cox show sticker, you can always email me for
one and I'll be happy to send them out to you.

(02:00:28):
But yeah, there you go. He's called Eager Beaver there.
Of course, the quality of Rob's voice is such that
earlier in the show somebody called it a real pantem moistener.
At the risk of getting myself into trouble, somebody else
texted me earlier described your voice as a real cliit rattler.

(02:00:50):
Now that is medical terminology. That is medical terminology. So
I don't feel I don't feel strange about repeating that
allowed because that is a medical term. I agree. I
think you want more, Brian, please, Okay. See last time

(02:01:13):
he threw some pointer sisters at us, and we got
it right away. I don't know that we'll get this
one right away. I had to look for this one
because I wasn't super hip to it.

Speaker 9 (02:01:24):
Then she made me say things I didn't want to say.

Speaker 4 (02:01:29):
Insou made me pay ship.

Speaker 2 (02:01:32):
I didn't want to band. She made me say things
I didn't want to say. She made me play games
I didn't want to play. I don't know. I don't
know if I know that I didn't either. You'll know
the band. I did not know the song. It felt
somewhat to me like the closest they've ever gotten to,
like a mid tempo ballad that is an ac DC song.

(02:01:55):
Really Bond Scott era seventy four called soul stripper what
he did with the voice. I thought he was going
David Lee Roth to be honest with you like he
gave like that, I know, I love He goes back
and forth into this weird warble and the growl and
the I can't get enough.

Speaker 9 (02:02:14):
Then she made me say things I didn't want to say,
and should she made me play ship I didn't Wanter Mack.

Speaker 2 (02:02:26):
Soul Stripper is the name of the song. I've never
heard that I have it either. I don't know that
I've ever heard that.

Speaker 12 (02:02:36):
Hold On.

Speaker 2 (02:02:37):
This is all jammed up here, and I want to
play it for you. Hold On? What's going on here?
All these stupid things here? Hold On? I think I

(02:03:01):
can honestly say I've never heard that song before. I
don't think I'm completely unfamiliar with Soul Stripper. But Brian
knew it. He's on shuffle that guy.

Speaker 6 (02:03:13):
But my god, that was an ac DC song though,
But there's no the second you hit play, you know
what it is.

Speaker 2 (02:03:17):
Seventy four jail break.

Speaker 4 (02:03:18):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (02:03:19):
Yeah, Bond Scott.

Speaker 6 (02:03:23):
Adding that to the playlist this afternoon.

Speaker 2 (02:03:25):
H Ellen, wasn't clit Rattler, the guy from Blazing Saddles.

Speaker 6 (02:03:30):
No, No, Nope, there's that laugh I was looking for earlier.
That turned into a cough after the initial clit let
Ratler comes.

Speaker 2 (02:03:41):
Yeah. Well, you know you know how they like to
say that the The Simpsons predicted everything thirty years ago, right,
It stands. The reason that the show has that's been
on as long as The Simpsons is gonna hit some
bull's eyes. But every time if something comes true in

(02:04:02):
contemporary culture, they go, oh, the Simpsons predicted it. But
you can go back further than that. Blazing Saddles actually
predicted the Trump presidency. We're talking about a movie from
the seventies that predicted Trump being president. It's kind of
an easter egg. I don't know if a lot of
people are hip to it.

Speaker 8 (02:04:21):
You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers.
These are people of the land, the common clay of
the New West.

Speaker 10 (02:04:34):
You no, go.

Speaker 2 (02:04:39):
Oh, it's so weird to take a time machine like that.
It really hits you where you live, and it makes
you reassess everything he thought you knew. Rip Clevon Little,
by the way, remember him from Fletch Lives. Remember Clevon
Little was in Fletch the second Fletch movie. I didn't
know he was dead. Levon Little's been dead for a while. Yeah, yep.

(02:05:03):
Because Blazing Saddles was supposed to be Richard Pryor and
Gene Wilder, because I think Richard Pryor helped write it
or something. Clevon Little has been dead. I think he
had got cancer. He died in nineteen ninety two. I
guess I missed that one, which is probably a really
good reason that you haven't seen him in any movies.
Doesn't you think radio couldn't get any better?

Speaker 16 (02:05:26):
It doesn't.

Speaker 7 (02:05:27):
This is the Alan Cox showmmsley.

Speaker 2 (02:05:57):
Said, Anthrax cover in ac DC pretty good, dumb. We
are entering in a new era in the United States.

(02:06:21):
I don't necessarily mean culturally, the US as we've known
it is gone. Well, we will be blowing more crap
up and listen. You take your good news where you
possibly can. Mitch McConnell still represents the great state of Kentucky,
even though to a lot of people he's taken a vaccine.

(02:06:43):
He's part of the old guard, people who wouldn't grease
up and grab ankle for Trump, even though Mitch McConnell
basically paved the way for the whole thing. Nevertheless, he
still represents the people there in Kentucky. And so he
was crowing this morning on social media and to anyone
who would listen about a brand new TNT factory, the

(02:07:07):
first one built in America in almost fifty years. It's
gonna be in the town of Greenville, Kentucky. This small
town of four thousand people. It's closer to Evansville, Indiana
than it is to Louisville. But the Army and a
company called Repcon have a half a billion dollar contract

(02:07:31):
to build the first TNT factory in a long time. Now,
I'm obviously no demolitions are explosive expert. I know that
TNT is still being used. I guess I just thought
that over the past fifty years there are other explosives
that had supplanted that. I guess I didn't realize we
were really missing out on a TNT factory. So if

(02:07:56):
you're one of our bureau chiefs in the great state
of Kentucky, they're going to be cranking out grenades and
bombs and ammo right they all need TNT for that.
And will they get into any kind of copyright infringement

(02:08:16):
suit with Ted Turner to be seen and have Yosemite
Sam come out for the opening rootin Tootin.

Speaker 3 (02:08:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:08:27):
Now, as much as they're excited about this thing, it's
only going to create fifty jobs. They're in Greenville, Kentucky,
about two hundred and fifty people will build the plant.
But once it's built, it sounds like the TNT manufacturing
business is largely automated. But there are fifty people there

(02:08:49):
who right now are doing god knows what. And in
a year we'll be working at the Greenville, Kentucky TNT factory.
It's just a rotating fifty jobs, that's what it is. Yeah,
down a forty nine higher one, yep, just constant. God,
imagine imagine that Osha calendar that's going to be in

(02:09:10):
the back room. Every place of business has one of those.
Imagine that no days without It has been forty nine.
It has been zero days since our last incident here
at the Greenville TNT plant. Hey, you're late, Jensen. Did

(02:09:31):
you punch in? Boss Jensen? Isn't going to be in tomorrow? Oh, poor,
poor Jensen. Oh Jensen, we barely knew you. By the way.
On the subject of explosives today, it's not a nice
round number. But today is the fifty fourth anniversary of

(02:09:55):
the demolition of the Florence Whale. You ever watched the
news footage on the fl Lawrence Whale, It was November twelfth,
nineteen seventy, so fifty four years ago today, where a
massive whale had beached itself. Dead whale eight tons. This

(02:10:16):
carcass was on the coast of Oregon, the Central Oregon coast,
a tongue called Florence, and it had been there so
long it had really started to smell. They didn't know
what to do. That thing was so goddamn heavy. So
the city council decided they got an engineer to oversee.
Have you ever seen this footage where they blow up
the whale. They used a short ton of dynamite. Now again,

(02:10:42):
Mitch McConnell's TNT factory would probably have a hand in
something like this, you know, with follow me here. Climate
change is making all kinds of weird things happen. It's
warming the water, it's sending marine life closer to the shore.
There's places you can go now we're on the Jersey
Shore just a couple of weekends ago and summer before last,

(02:11:07):
and places you would never even be able to visibly
see sharks, and they're now very close to the shore.
So as a function partly of climate change, it's just
changing these environments. It stands to reason we might end
up with more beached whales on our country's coasts. And
I have to think that they've learned from the mistakes

(02:11:28):
they made fifty four years ago, where they blew whale
blubber all over the place in every direction. People and
cars were hit by chunks of falling blubber. And I'll
show you some of the footage here for those people
who might not have ever seen this from this day

(02:11:51):
fifty four years ago, they said, another charge.

Speaker 21 (02:11:55):
Dynamite was buried primarily on the leeward side of the
big mammal, so as most of the remains would be
blown toward the sea about seventy five bystanders, most of
them residents who had first found the whale to be
an object of curiosity before they tired of its smell,
were moved back a quarter of a mile away. The
sand dunes there were covered with spectators and land lubber newsmen,
shortly to have become land blubber newsman.

Speaker 2 (02:12:19):
Blubber beyond all you get land blubber, so to be
lad blubber. Those was unbelievable bounds. And then there's the
countdown from ten. Blow this thing up from a Saint
dissans this cameraman.

Speaker 4 (02:12:40):
There you go.

Speaker 2 (02:12:42):
That's a half time to explos how No's this raining
whale like ow ow ow, I've never seen this.

Speaker 15 (02:12:53):
Oh.

Speaker 21 (02:12:56):
Our cameras stopped rolling immediately after the blast. The humor
of the entire situation suddenly gave way to a run
for survival as huge chunks of whale blubber fell everywhere.

Speaker 2 (02:13:05):
I'll tell you what, It's very very rare in modern
life that humor will give way to a panicked run
for your life. You know that was funny, but now
I'm terrified.

Speaker 21 (02:13:16):
Pieces of meat passed high over our heads while others
were falling at our feet. The dunes were rapidly evacuated
as spectators escaped both the falling debris and the overwhelming.

Speaker 2 (02:13:25):
And got crushing cars.

Speaker 21 (02:13:27):
Car over a quarter of a mile from the blast
sight was the target of one large chunk. The passenger
compartment literally smat. Fortunately no human was hit as badly
as the car over. Everyone on the scene was covered
with small particles of dead whale. As for the success
of the effort, well, the seagulls who were supposed to
clean things up were nowhere in sight, either scared away

(02:13:47):
by the explosion or kept away by the smell.

Speaker 2 (02:13:49):
You know, the one time you need those goddamn seagulls
and they don't show up. Oh my god, they were
all hanging out in Walmart parking lots. So that was
fifty four years ago. Today, listen, a new TNT factory,
first in forty years, being built there in western Kentucky.

(02:14:12):
Maybe they know some we don't know. I mean, obviously
it's used for a lot of things TNT. But in
the event that's something like this happens again, they'll be prepared.
A lot of beach whales down at Edgewater. If somebody says,
is that true beached whales at Edgewater. There's a lot

(02:14:32):
of lake erie whitefish down there. I've seen those the
used condoms floating around. I think she's talking about the
large Americans. Oh, I see, that's what they mean. Yeah.
Mitch McConnell's TNT factory is at the Agora this weekend too,
I'm being told. So if you're a fan of the

(02:14:52):
m mtntf they're gonna be down there. Eleana, are you
going to see Kenny G. I'm not going to see
Kenny G anytime. Anytime we mentioned his name, an angel
does get its wings. But no, I wasn't aware there
was a Kenny G show. Just because listen, I have

(02:15:14):
mentioned it, you know, in the past, many many years ago. Yeah.
I had a Kenny G phase. Everybody did. It was
the eighties and you couldn't move in any direction without
bumping into a Kenny G, without bumping into music from

(02:15:36):
that guy on your radio instrumental and it was soothing.
Let's say you were getting a massage in nineteen eighty seven,
you were going to hear that guy's music, which guy
Kenny G The Miracles Holiday and Hit Tour twenty twenty four.

(02:16:01):
Oh that's not far. That's like in two days. Oh,
that's why you're asking me. November the fourteenth, that's this
Thursday night. I can imagine there are still tickets for that.
There were some on the counter earlier. The Carmen came
and grabbed a pair, said he was for his parents.
He was like enough of me, you know, he was

(02:16:22):
his best Rodney. Yeah. So Carmen Angelo is taking his
parents to Kenny G or he's giving them a pair
of tickets to who Kenny J. All right, well there
you go. All right, I didn't I didn't see those tickets.
Would you have gone? No, it's Thursday night, that's a

(02:16:44):
school night. No, I wouldn't have gone to that show,
but listen, I imagine his parents will probably have a
great time there. But yeah, it's the holiday tours in
general that don't really scratch me. Where I ittch I
mean here at work now, as of a few days ago,
we can hear Christmas music anytime we want because magic

(02:17:07):
flipped and so it's got it's piped through the Uh.
I'll turn my camera here. You can see that the
Christmas tree is in the corner there and it's all
lit up, and uh, it's a it's a because Mark
Nola of course and Jump Chana. We're in here in
the morning, and so the Christmas tree for the season
is a fixture in here.

Speaker 6 (02:17:28):
I am a no non country music lover, and that's
usually what's on in our kitchen.

Speaker 2 (02:17:33):
You're you're you're, you're in. Yeah, you're not into country music, right,
not at all.

Speaker 6 (02:17:37):
And I'm actually begging for it to come back because
every time I go in there, it's holly jolly something.

Speaker 2 (02:17:42):
And I just guess it's Christmas music.

Speaker 6 (02:17:44):
It's just not there yet.

Speaker 12 (02:17:45):
Man.

Speaker 2 (02:17:47):
Well, I mean some of it, it doesn't like drive
me crazy, you know, some of it. If I'm in
the kitchen and hear it, I go, oh, okay, I
met a couple of songs here and there. Nope, I
don't envy them playing nothing but that on magic. Did
you see the little hall of notes?

Speaker 6 (02:18:17):
Did you see the notes this morning? Somebody left on
the door.

Speaker 2 (02:18:19):
Yes, And I'm the dick who took them down because
I thought, well, first of all, I don't like anybody
defacing our employee entrance door. But when we come in
here at iHeart Cleveland, there's an employee door and it's
wrapped in iHeart logo. It's a big, bright red door.
You need a key card to get in. And I
get in here about eight thirty and there's two loose

(02:18:39):
leaf pieces of paper scrawled handwritten with blue pen and
like scotch taped to the door, big long pieces of
tape that say there was yeah, stop playing Christmas music.
It's too loud or something. So I assumed it was
somebody living in this building because it's all residential above
us here on the and the other one said stop

(02:19:03):
the police have been called or something, which I don't
know who thinks that that's a valid threat. But so
I took them off because I was like, well, wait
a second. I can't be the first person to see these,
so either some I didn't even think about it. I
guess I should have left them there. I'm like, clearly,
these have probably been here for a while and everybody

(02:19:25):
just left them up. And it turns out that's what happened,
because I brought him in and put him down in
front of Nolan, and like you see it, he goes, oh, yeah,
we left it up because we thought it was funny.
But I gotta tell you, I didn't care for it.
I didn't care for it one bit. I understand what
they're saying, but I didn't care for it. First of all,
it's not that friggin loud. It's not like we're do

(02:19:47):
they mean we're because we're piping it out in the sidewide? Yeah,
all right, grow up, stop blasting Christmas music up the
side of the building, up the side of the building. Okay,
So that means it's somebody who lives here in the building.

Speaker 6 (02:19:58):
Stop the loud. Call him down, you son of a bitch.

Speaker 2 (02:20:02):
I'd rather hear that than Glenn Beck true fumfering God
knows what, which is usually what's blasting out there onto
Euclid Avenue. We have speakers that face out onto Euclid.
When we first moved down to these new studios, I
took the street side studio and they had initially told me, well,

(02:20:24):
we want to play your show out onto the street
when you're on, and I resisted. I go, I don't
care for that. I don't need anybody who doesn't know
what I do walking by randomly and filing some kind
of complaint. I don't need that. And then we move studios,
so it wasn't an issue anymore. You actually just messed

(02:20:46):
with me quite a bit. Would I rather listen to
the Glen Beck Show or Christmas Music? Right now? Dude?

Speaker 6 (02:20:52):
I the reason I don't like the Glenn Beck Show
is because I know Glenn Beck from when he was
in Connecticut. He was on a top forty station. Oh yeah,
he was like just a puky DJ.

Speaker 2 (02:21:02):
Yeah, and which is how everybody starts just doesn't believe
a word of what he says. So it's a did
that guy? Yeah?

Speaker 6 (02:21:08):
I struggle with that one. So I guess Christmas music
would be the correct answer in this case.

Speaker 2 (02:21:16):
So initially we started with you, you don't like country
music at all, but you'd rather hear that than Christmas music.
So now as we go through the bracket here, Christmas
music over Glenn Beck, Yeah, Christmas music?

Speaker 11 (02:21:29):
Do you go?

Speaker 2 (02:21:30):
Do you pick Christmas over country? Still? Does Christmas end
up winning this whole bracket? Okay? Yeah, I don't know.
Man so hard you just found as much as you
dislike country music, you have just found a format, or
as much as you dislike the Christmas we've just rolled
out two formats. Yeah, that Christmas has beaten. Maybe you

(02:21:53):
love Christmas music, maybe you've resisted it as I have,
but maybe you secretly love it. Oh I do love it.
I just don't love it now. Oh I see it's
too early, and it's in the it's in the kitchen,
and then and then people walking around with the merry
Christmas is alread. I'm gonna stop it. M It's enough
where it's a building full of adults, right, I don't.

(02:22:15):
My thing is if it makes if it makes people happy,
if it keeps people in some kind of positive mental framework.
Some people they love Christmas, and I find it quaint,
but if it makes them happy, you know, decking all
of their halls, all of them, but their bells are jingled.

(02:22:40):
I don't think what you do. You're here, We're sitting
in the studio right now with a blinking Christmas tree
because somebody wanted to play Christmas music on November eighth.
Sucks off camera. I can see it, Yeah, you can
say it's right and looking right at it. Yeah, I
don't have to look at it. I don't even have
it in my periphery. You gotta look right out. Well.

(02:23:01):
I used to put tiny pound cake at the top
of the tree. That was how I would That's how
I would kind of take my pound to flesh when
the Chris Christmas tree would go up in the old
studio that Nolan and I shared. Now I don't have
tiny pound cake anymore, so I guess I'll just we'll
just have to sit with the the star. Well, anyway,

(02:23:26):
if you love Christmas music, Magic one oh five point
seven is your Christmas music destination with Mark Nolan Show
in the morning Magic Magic Call the Alan Cox Show.

Speaker 13 (02:23:40):
Pay attention to notice the reverse of everything that is
normal becoming abnormal.

Speaker 2 (02:23:46):
Two want six seven eight one double O seven or
one four eight one double O seven three five and
I get a text into me and you can listen
to the iHeartRadio App. Drop messages for us there if

(02:24:06):
you're like. Calves are off tonight, but they remain undefeated.
They are twelve and oh one, nineteen to one thirteen
over the Bulls last night at the United Center. Bulls
will try to take that back. They will be here
in town on Friday night to play the Calves at
the Romo Fijo. But in between because they're off tonight,
Calves are in Philly tomorrow night going for lucky number

(02:24:28):
thirteen against the Sixers. Seven thirty tip. Seven o'clock is
when your pregame coverage will begin on your FM home
for Cleveland Cavaliers basketball one hundred point seven am onlyubbass
and I'm the iHeartRadio app. And you can use Muni
You and I for twenty percent off at Clee Clothing Company.

(02:24:53):
Sometimes easier to do it online, but you can also
use it in store and if you might, you know,
occasionally end up with a clerk who kind of looks
at you cock eyed when you whip the promo card
on him. Just tell him I told you it was okay.
Just say Alan Cox said it was fine, and they'll

(02:25:13):
say who.

Speaker 8 (02:25:16):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (02:25:16):
But then you know, you can have a little conversation
with them about it, but cavs tomorrow night on MMS,
so you'll get the full Corey erotic experience tonight here
on MMS.

Speaker 13 (02:25:29):
Alan, this is Rich down Jacksonville, flord To listening back
to the podcast from Monday show, and you had mentioned
Danielle Bergali, otherwise known as behet behavior, and you had
mentioned that her mother had gotten a little upset about
people not believing her daughter's cancer diagnosis.

Speaker 6 (02:25:45):
Does her mom remember everybody in the nation watched.

Speaker 13 (02:25:47):
That Doctor philipisode about how awful her daughter was and
how trashy she was, So it's not out of the
roma possibility that a lot of people still just might
not trust her believer.

Speaker 6 (02:25:56):
It's so by see, yeah, you're right, you're right. I
mean one guy agree with me.

Speaker 2 (02:26:03):
You and Rich in Jacksonville, Florida. You're right, Me and
rich on the Doctor Phillip Show. That's what they should
have called it is Doctor Phillip. Hey, Mike, Hey, Alan, Mike,
how are you?

Speaker 4 (02:26:16):
I'm good man?

Speaker 15 (02:26:18):
So isn't it Rob the program director?

Speaker 8 (02:26:20):
He is?

Speaker 15 (02:26:22):
He is not programmed the horrible Christmas music for us
all because it's not even think.

Speaker 2 (02:26:28):
Well, no, he's not the program director of Magic. He's
the program director of WMMS of this radio station. Right, So.

Speaker 15 (02:26:37):
In one building there are multiple radio stations and a
job that probably takes a monkey to do. They need
three of them, but yet they take away, So don't
have money to pay your staff or people don't.

Speaker 2 (02:26:50):
Well, I don't know what one has to do with
the other. I mean, I don't know where the monkey
thing comes from. But but Rob is the pro. Rob's
the program director for this radio so he's got nothing
to do with what's happening at Magic, is my point.

Speaker 15 (02:27:05):
Right, And I'm saying one guy could probably program three
radio station and there would be enough money day that
your people could be there still and you would have
your show.

Speaker 2 (02:27:13):
Well, how would you arrive at that conclusion?

Speaker 15 (02:27:17):
Because I'm sure programming the directors make more money than
the people I'm.

Speaker 2 (02:27:21):
Here, right, But Mike, what I'm trying to get at
is you know nothing about how anything works in this
industry or this building of this business. So I'm curious
how you arrived at that conclusion.

Speaker 15 (02:27:35):
It's easy, Alan people make more money and there's more
of them, you don't need them, You get rid of them,
and not the low money guy.

Speaker 2 (02:27:43):
Therefore you have a larger pocket pool FuMB I'll tell
you what, bro That would seem to make perfect sense,
and yet it doesn't seem to be the way anything
is working these days.

Speaker 6 (02:27:53):
And also, like I could, let you know, there's two
of us and there's nine radio stations in this building,
just so you know.

Speaker 2 (02:28:02):
Okay, So Mike's question is how many monkeys does that require?
I guess more than just two, all right? Or less
than two? Well, then let's hire some more monkeys South Carolina.
They got forty of them running around escape from a lab.

Speaker 15 (02:28:20):
They can go back for free and save a ton
of money.

Speaker 2 (02:28:25):
Yeah again, Mike, we're having a circular argument here. I
don't know anything about how this company does.

Speaker 13 (02:28:30):
What they do.

Speaker 11 (02:28:34):
Well.

Speaker 15 (02:28:34):
It's a shame, that's for sure.

Speaker 2 (02:28:36):
I agree it's a shame. But onward, upward, baby, we
go forward. We don't look back.

Speaker 12 (02:28:43):
Man, have a good night.

Speaker 2 (02:28:44):
Thank you, Mike. There's Mike. Listen. People are upset. I
get it, and they should be. They should be. There's
people who, like I said, have no idea how any
of this works, but they have taken the time to
sit down and try to do a little bit of
creative accounting. But including us, by the way, who don't

(02:29:05):
know how this stuff works. Neither one of us have
any idea how this is happening. But they could probably
get some monkeys in there. Yeah, nine stations and two program.

Speaker 6 (02:29:15):
Directors and and I only do two. So what does
that tell you about that?

Speaker 2 (02:29:20):
But listen, But the bottom line is initially Rob's got
nothing to do with the Christmas music and he's probably
happier for it. Very Yeah, you don't want to be
in there doing that. There it is, thank you. There's
a guy who will pop up from time to time

(02:29:40):
because he's a prominent sheriff in Florida, got named Grady Judd.
He's always good for a couple of sound bites here
and there. He's always getting holding press conferences for something.
This is down in Polk County, Florida. You have a
lot of bureau achieves down there, and they they just
scooped up a bunch of people in another one of

(02:30:02):
these undercover sex stings targeting massage therapists, a two day
sting called Operation skin So Soft. Now, if you have
an avon lady in your life, you know immediately what
that is.

Speaker 10 (02:30:20):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (02:30:20):
And if you don't well, it's like a skin so
soft is like this kind of oil or lotion or
balm or whatever it is. And so that's what they
called their operation down there, and they took into custody
twenty massage therapists in Polk County who are accused of
offering sex acts. Now, a lot of times these things

(02:30:44):
are for show. These people get released immediately because they
don't have enough to get them on whatever. It's maybe
to put a scare in the local businesses. But I
always think too, of the undercover detectives that take part
in these It's one thing if you're trying to get
a bunch of people who are you know, like who
have been lured into prostitution, and this falls under human
trafficking too. You know, there's a lot of these girls

(02:31:06):
who get brought over here from another country and then
they're kind of forced into indentured servitude and they're you know,
rubbing and tugging guys, and that's what they're trying to
mitigate here. But Grady Judd was describing how small one
of these girls was.

Speaker 22 (02:31:24):
The undercover would say no, no, no, just to besides,
so on three different occasions she continued to try to
come back and up charge him to engage in sex.
She stood in front of the door so he couldn't leave,
and then she tried to hold him down. This is
a big undercover detective, and she might have been five

(02:31:46):
foot tall. She wasn't as big as a popcorn fart,
and she was trying to hold this man down. A
word to the wise. If you don't want to get
arrested and have your picture up here on a skin
so soft bulletin board, don't do it.

Speaker 2 (02:32:00):
Next time. It can be the customers. I love popcorn fart.
I can't title last time I heard popcorn fart. It's
like someboding. My grandmother would say, she went bigger than
the popcorn fart? What is the poor grasshopper? Very very
tiny popcorn fart? Tiny? Okay, I have to assume. I

(02:32:22):
mean when I was a kid and I would hear
one of my grandparents use that phrase, boy, you ain't
not bigger than popcorn fart.

Speaker 6 (02:32:30):
I only heard it in Caddyshack when he says, if
you own anything other than land, you own a popcorn fart.

Speaker 2 (02:32:35):
There you go, and then he farts, meaning that it's small. Okay, right,
it's gotta be uh so Grady Judd. But I like
how they I wonder if it's his job to name
the operations, because they always come up with fun names.

(02:32:55):
You have a whiteboard and you cross them out, or
the first thing it comes to your mind, or if
it's alphabetical, then Jurigan's is next, and then operation uh Sarahville, Yeah,
Sarah a, whatever it is operation Yeah, like when they
name hurricanes. Maybe it's like that. I don't know. I

(02:33:20):
don't know, but the popcorn fart thing really jumped out
of me because I haven't heard that phrase in a
long long time. Alan Rob, it sounds great. But I
just checked out the live stream because now we're down
to a split screen and you guys look like the
cool radio guys that would be in a Viagra commercial.

(02:33:42):
Oh why because we both have great hair at all?
Have you recreationally tried viagra?

Speaker 8 (02:33:49):
I have?

Speaker 2 (02:33:51):
And what is what is the verdict on that? I know,
results may vary. We've had doctor Bergland in here a
bunch of times and we've discussed it with that and
it's results may vary. I've never tried it at all.

Speaker 6 (02:34:04):
Yeah, I did it at a party, A drunk at
a party, I will, I will add, and my buddy
and I both thought it'd be funny to take it
and see what happens. Okay, right, So we took it,
went back to the party. Absolutely nothing happened, so we're like, oh,
maybe you need it for it to work. And then
my wife put her hand on my leg and off
we went. Now, the only thing I can think to

(02:34:26):
describe it as you know that scene in the movie
Dumb and don again.

Speaker 2 (02:34:30):
I'll bring that.

Speaker 6 (02:34:31):
Movie up, ye when he gets punched in the face
and he falls straight back and then he comes straight
back up like did nothing around.

Speaker 2 (02:34:36):
That's exactly what it was, non and it just it
was uncomfortable. I will say it was okay. So that
was my question, like, it sounds great if you need
it was not but okay, so recreationally not so great.

Speaker 6 (02:34:50):
Well no, I mean, well, I suppose it's it's what
your what your plans are for the evening. I suppose
would dictate how often or how long you would want
that to last. I see, yeah, And I was again
late twenties probably maybe maybe no, late definitely late twenties,
mid to late twenties when I when I did that, Okay,
because I know when we.

Speaker 2 (02:35:10):
Were we used to go to Mexico every year before
it got just impossible to walk around feeling good. And
you know there's a pharma sea on every corner, and
you know it's all knockoff crap. But even knockoff is
going to do something for it. And I was like, oh,
maybe it's for fun. I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Speaker 6 (02:35:29):
I was afraid if I took it, I was going
to need it forever, and I had.

Speaker 2 (02:35:33):
To Oh, that's what you would get addicted to it?

Speaker 6 (02:35:35):
Well no, I just thought like, I don't know, like
you take it and all of a sudden you can't
get one on your own home.

Speaker 2 (02:35:39):
Oh I see, yeah, you need the help of the Yeah. Yeah, Well,
because like some people get the blue spots and people
text me that they get weird headaches. Obviously there's things
like sialis, which are I guess have the same end goal,
but they react to them different. I don't know anyway
that person says that you and I look like two guys.

(02:36:00):
It would be in a viager commercial. I like you,
thank you for including the word cool. I don't know
that that has anything to do with it.

Speaker 6 (02:36:07):
Well, you could put that cool music underneath us, you know,
before it like runs all of those things that could
possibly happen if you have an erection for longer than.

Speaker 2 (02:36:13):
Four hours, Yeah, if you if more than the guys
in the background, like, if you keep it for longer
than four hours, consult a physician, right, yeah, good luck it.
I wonder if you're a high priority call, because those
calls invariably have to be made at some point. It's
probably gonna work as advertised for most people, but you're
gonna have those outliers are like, hey, this thing's been

(02:36:36):
I've had a diamond hard rod now for seven hours
and I'm getting light headed. You call your doctor. Good
luck hitting him on the phone. You're not gonna go
to the er. They're gonna go, sir. I've got a
guy over here with his arm in his lap and
it's not gonnattach to his body anymore. I'll get to
your boner after that.

Speaker 6 (02:36:54):
It's like the ones you got when you were like
sixteen seventeen years old, like you thought you were going
to run out of skin.

Speaker 2 (02:37:00):
But those are still the ones I get. Well, the
good for you, cheers, God bless you, look at you
right now, fire and blanks. A ladle homie, but a
ladle homie. But I'm as horny as I ever was,

(02:37:22):
and I work in line quality for a plastics company.
This is a girl texting me. And now I have
a new goal. I want to describe something as being
smaller than a popcorn fart while on the job. You know,
work in popcorn fart. Everything old is new again. You
give it a fresh coat of paint and call it

(02:37:43):
something else. All did you know that if you have
a priapism for over four hours, you gotta go get
it drained with a big old needle. Doctor Bergland has
talked about that too. We do is it red? He's
talked about that. Now, I imagine.

Speaker 7 (02:37:57):
That.

Speaker 2 (02:37:58):
As uncomfortable as that sound, it's probably a relief. They
come at you and they go, hey, only way we're
gonna get this down is to drain it with a needle.
You're gonna go do it. I don't know, man.

Speaker 6 (02:38:12):
I might be like, look, I'm gonna I'm gonna take
my chances.

Speaker 2 (02:38:15):
You drain it. Listen. I used to play drums for
four hour priapism and we didn't get a lot of shows,
but we did good gigs.

Speaker 10 (02:38:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:38:26):
Uh, you gotta get it drained with a big A
big old needle, is what this person is telling me.
A big I assume they're being folky, but a big
old needle. Let's ratchet it up one more. Hey, the
only way we can get rid of this, and it's
extraordinarily painful. After four hours, all of your blood is
collecting in that area. The fun is long in the

(02:38:47):
rearview mirror. We've got to drain it. All I have
is this big old needle. No, it hasn't been sterilized,
it had no but it'll get the blood out. Wow,
I mean eventual, it'll go down. Eventually. I think that's

(02:39:08):
the implication, is that it won't because it's it's all.
It's all trapped there. What goes in must come out correct,
So if it fills, it has to unfill. At some point.
This person texting me, I trust implicitly, okay, And if
they're telling me you have to get it drained with

(02:39:29):
a big old needle, I would have definitely preferred a big,
old old needle. Now, let's ratchet it up even further.
What if it's not a syringe needle. What if all
they can find is a sewing needle, right off the spool.
They got a poke it or one of those Caprice

(02:39:50):
sun straws. Yeah, be great. What was that cherry? Because
it's spread all over my face and I didn't care
for that at all. Yeah, they got a jet. You know,
you're not always gonna get a quality phlebotomist. You're gonna
have to find somebody that can find a vein with that.

(02:40:10):
I wonder if there's a specific spot they got to
poke you, or if they're just generally looking to relieve
the pressure. Man, they hit that needle and it looks
like that Oregon whale exploding all over the Central coast again. Ugh, well,
listen that that's enough to I would hate to be

(02:40:32):
one of those outliers. That's enough to make me not
want to engage in any kind of recreational activity. How
common is it though, Well, I mean I don't know
how common it is. They have to put it in there, obviously,
because it does happen, because each person's body is its
own thing. Alan they would probably see you immediately because

(02:40:54):
that blood is trapped and it's not receding, and that's
bad for your junk, meaning you could lose it.

Speaker 6 (02:41:01):
Yeah, So jeff On the livestream just said the same thing.
He said, if you have a priapism, the trapped blood
will eventually run out of oxygen, which can harm the
tissues of the penis.

Speaker 2 (02:41:10):
You're getting a chronic Yeah, no one wants that. And
then they come in. This is no longer a job
for a big old needle. This is now a job
for a big old knife. Oh god, like a bowie knife.
You know. I walk around with my trusty Swiss Army
in my pocket. So if I ran into anybody that needed,

(02:41:33):
you know, some triage, I'd be able to handle it.
I'd go after them first with the plastic toothpick and
then I'd pop out the little scissors.

Speaker 6 (02:41:41):
And you wonder, though, could you just do it yourself?

Speaker 2 (02:41:44):
Well, yeah, I don't know if DI I Y is
the way to go about it.

Speaker 6 (02:41:47):
I'm not saying it's a great idea, say it's probably possible,
and you wouldn't have the embarrassment and it just drains
out and.

Speaker 2 (02:41:54):
You're like battle conditions, the Battle of Appomattics. Oh my god,
what happened to you? Head to relieve the pressure? Get
a field medics, Oh, Jennifer, I don't know what civil
war woman's names were get a field staffer. Listen. I

(02:42:16):
think we've solved a lot of problems today. I think
it's a nice note to end on a priapism being
relieved by a big old needle. Okay, we gotta go.
Thank you guys for hanging out. Rob anything you want
to plug, sir, I'm used to having plugged.

Speaker 6 (02:42:37):
I've got I've got nothing. I'm boring.

Speaker 2 (02:42:40):
Well, we'll see again tomorrow. And now I must leave
you as the Brady bunch is on and I find
four of those children incredibly arousing.

Speaker 7 (02:42:49):
Get out of here.

Speaker 16 (02:42:50):
Be careful of what you say, Be careful in every way,
Be careful of what you do. Big Brother is watching you.
Be circumspect and discreet, Stay light on your mental feet.

(02:43:11):
One slip and you know you're through. Big Brother is
watching you. And with all narratives, remember obedience paid. And
when you watch that davy screens, remember it works both ways.

(02:43:32):
You disappear in a wink. Unless you can double think,
you'll vanish into the blue. Big Brother is watching you.