June 19, 2026 • 45 mins
Thursday 6-18-26 Show #1284: Tonight it's all about the petty; we talk about some of the most petty things we've and other comedians have done.
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
What is up everybody?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Thank you?
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Could you have just tuned into Real Last Real Radio
one or four point one. I am your host tonight,
mister James jan We are your nightcap of comedy. I
am joined in studio with my good friend who helped
start all this hilarrity over ten years ago. I'm talking
about the one, the Only, Miguel Cologne. Don't you forget
about the junior because he knows who his daddy is.
We also have in studio our official sponsor from the
(00:30):
Coffin and Len personal injury attorneys. That's right, they've been
representing and winning for the good people of Orlando for
over twenty years. More information and go to whenunedus dot com.
So I'm talking about the one, the only mister Jeff
the Batman Coffin in the building as well. Now, we
got a great show for you guys. We're just having
a great conversation about how sometimes comedians can be petty.
(00:51):
And when I say sometimes, I mean all the time.
And I will say this, Miguel, I'll preface this because
you've got a great story. The bigger the comedian, the
more petty they can be, because they willed the big sword, right.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
So go ahead, man with a story. Here's the thing
with petty petty.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Sometimes petty the worst petty is uh when you are
seeking out to be petty. But sometimes your mind and
your business and something happens to you and you're like,
all right, all right, I know you're like, hey, Jesus,
close your eyes for this one, because I'm about that,
Like that time I got in that threesome with Dimidges. Jesus,
(01:34):
just stay in the car. You don't even see what's
about to happen.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
He had the Bible of God watching. I hear.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Yeah, no, I'd heard a great story, and I'd heard
like Rogan talking about it in a couple other podcasts
discussing it. And it was the time that Dave Chappelle
came into the store to do some time and because
he just bumped in, and they're very strict on time
at these places. And everybody know these lineups are huge.
These lineups have Jay Leno on them. You know these lineups.
Everybody's got fifteen, twelve, nine minutes. Whatever you got, that's
(02:00):
what you got. And everybody understands that because they have
a deep respect for it. And apparently Dane Cook was
the headliner or the headline. He was closing out the
closing out the you know, the showcase, and Chappelle wanted
to come in. So they were asking, is anybody willing
to give up some of the time, And Dan Cook
had I think a twenty minute spot because he was
closing out the showcase. Everybody else had fifteen minutes. And
(02:21):
a couple other comics were real cool about it, and
they were like, yeah, Dave, you could take a couple
of my minutes. And these are established comics too, and
you know, as the story goes, Dank Cook wasn't feeling
it and was not going to give up any of
his time.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
And made a stink about it.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So Chappelle goes on right before Dan Cook, right before
the show closes out. He's doing his ten minutes because
two comics gave him five of theirs. And on the
last minute he's there with his cigarette and he looks
at the crowd and he goes, you know, I don't
normally do this, but tell you what, when I get
on stage, why don't you guys come outside with me
and I'll take pictures and stuff. And so the minute
(02:56):
he does that, he empties the whole room and now
Dany Cook has to go up there and perform his
fifteen minutes to an empty club because everyone's outside kicking
it with Dave Chappelle.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Hey, Hey, do your time. Hey, listen, listen. Some people
bring that on themselves. And we've all done something to
a fellow comedian who did something wrong to us, and
it normally happens right before we go on. They do
something just foul to you, and you got to and.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I would say this too, that's within the gentleman's code
of response.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yes, correct, it's within the gentleman's code of response.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
It's not I'm gonna blast this dude, I'm gonna fight
this dude. I'm gonna do all this wild nonsense. It's like,
very well, allow me to show you what I could do.
I remember growing up my good friend Diggs, very attractive
dude man. The ladies loved him. And our buddy Junior.
Junior and Diggs we're kind of going at it, not hard,
(03:57):
but just kind of talking trash to each other in
the car and Junior and we were and we were
on the way to go see this girl that Junior knew.
And I still remember, uh, we were sitting in the
car and Diggs was just taking it as Junior was
kind of trying to talk some trash and before we
before we got out, Diggs put his hand on Junior
and he said, hey, if you take it back everything
(04:18):
you said right now, I won't get out this car
and introduce myself to that girl. It was the coldest,
pettiest line, like, bro, I'll go and introduce myself to
her and I'll take her tonight.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
And Junior was like, hey man, we was just joking.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Was and it was about it about two minutes of
Diggs just staring at Junior was like.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Not take back what I said. Oh, sometimes you smart
enough to do the right thing. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And
that talks. You take it, You take your lumps.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
You know you did it within the gentleman's code. Boys,
that's the key to pettiness. Keep it within the gentleman's code.
You can not react. Basically, I'm trying to think of
what they discussed it with a proportionate response in like
big military terms and world governing terms. You know, they
blow up a satellite mase, you can't NUCA City.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
You've got to have a.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Proportionate hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on that
that's a self defense argument.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
But I can tell I can tell you what right now,
that's funny.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
The lay is like, if you want to end it,
you go through moonc thermonuclear. I want you to know something.
I did it this, dude, And this is the comedy.
When I was in college, some guy thought it was
funny and wrapped this dead squirrel around my doorknob. And
I got home and I'm with my girlfriend and I'm
staring at this dead squirrel and what that?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Who would?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Why would somebody? What's the point? And I remember going
into a friend of mine calls him up, but he's laughing.
Ha ha ha. He goes it was funny, wasn't it.
I'm like, dude, why would you do? You do realize
I'm gonna respond, But the games begin before you finish
the story.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
I will say this is a little different because he's
already taken it to a very high level.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
It's my dead animal on your door. I watch you
know something? You started it?
Speaker 4 (06:10):
You think you think that you think there's the okay? Yeah,
And he rubbed it in my face in front of
a bunch of guys. Thought it was funny, and I said, okay.
So the next day, I'm walking. I'm walking to one
of my classes and I see this like huge roadkill,
like apossum. And I said, hmmm, that is a very
(06:30):
interesting opportunity. And I walked back to my house. I
got a bag. I stuffed that thing and it was awful.
I mean, you ain't seen awful till you've seen this thing.
And I put it in the dude's bed and let me.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Just say this.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
It festered in his bedroom for about six hours that
anybody who walked in his house thought like, what died
in here?
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Oh it is. You got to throw the bed away.
Speaker 5 (06:56):
You can't keep that bed yep, yeah, you got to
burn the house.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
And he walked in the house and I was sitting
there like days you flipped the mattress. Chill out.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
I got two sides over a horse. And let's just
say this. He he goes, man coffin, will stick a
dead body in my bed?
Speaker 6 (07:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Hey, I used to work, but said, he said, prank
wars with these girls I work with. I was. I
was a waiter in the Florida mall, worked the Book
of the Pepo. Me and these two girls we would have, Yeah,
we would have these prank wars all the time.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
It was good. It was good.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
We have we have fun time with our prank war,
and uh it was getting it was getting fun, but
it was also getting I had to do with both
of them, so it was starting to get like damn
getting getting hit from both sides. So I used to
trade food out to all the people in the mall.
I would I would have to make up big plates
of food, and I would just come by different stores
and drop off food and just be like, hey, I
may need something later. And I remember doing it with Sophora,
(07:52):
and they took me up, like let me spray. I
would take the tester bottles and just spray them in
empty bottles, and I check a whole thing of cologne
right there. So I had a good report of all
of them. Well, I remember I went to the pet store.
I said, hey, I need this. I need you to
print me up a receipt that said I bought ten
tyrantulists and then just give me that receipt. I don't
(08:15):
care if it has some kind of code where you
can't return it. I just need a receipt that it
says I bought ten tyrantals. At the time, Transil was
like twenty bucks apiece and weren't even expensive. And I
remember I came to the girls in the back room
because the prank war was getting heavy and it was
starting to getting stressful every time to wash my back,
and I came in and I was like, ladies, I
was like, I have recently purchased two hundred dollars worth
of tarantulists.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
I was like, now, as.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Long as we don't this is me exposing that I
had a nuclear capabilities. I was like, as long as
this prank war kind of fizzles its way out, we
don't have to do anything with these tarantulists. But if
it keeps escalating, I have ten tyrantualists at my disposal.
Those are my ICBMs. And I'm listening, and you know,
(09:00):
there was a bluff, but I was also letting it know.
I'm gonna care for these tarantulas. I'm investing in this,
like I'm I'm so, let's just end it. Let's end
it here before I got to bring ten tarantulas out
one of these days or one a day, and.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
That's still within the realms of gentlemen in my opinion, Like, hey,
I'm giving you an out. I'm letting you know, we
don't have to take it here, but I'm willing to
do it.
Speaker 7 (09:24):
Hey.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
One time, one time I filled up a whole mop
bucket and picked up one of the girls and just
dunked one of her feet in the mop bucket and
she had to work the whole shift her foot was
ye so, uh is.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
That such a horrible thing. By the way, if you're
sock mop bucket water, yeah, it's spelled like fabulo thoat.
They went back and forth on me. When I I can't,
I came back.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
One time they had poured they had poured anchovy juice,
uh right on the like right right right on my
door handles, and so I'm coming to my car and
I'm like, it's just sitting in the hot summer day
and I'm like, what is that smell? So that's why
I was like, hey man, I'm gonna I'm gonna have
to invest in tarantula technology. Basically, I had them split
(10:08):
in tarantula atoms in the warehouse underneath the earth, and
I was like, do we have yellow kicked tarentulas? Okay,
get our land back.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Bro y'all took that seriously to the prank Wars man,
because I'm not a prankster, so I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
I'm not either, but I will end it. I will
end it like, well.
Speaker 5 (10:25):
You put a dead anim on a dude's bed, though,
Jeff like, hey, hey listen, he's stuck it in my face.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Man, that ain't right. Paws, Yo, he wiggled it.
Speaker 8 (10:39):
Oh was up for that, yo.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Godfather a comedy shows up just to step in on
that one.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Yeah, you get the Can Miller today. He has a
new aka. You know he always has a different name.
He is the Carolina Hurricane.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
My team Wanner Stanley cuff tampions him. Baby. Yeah, I
don't know noth about He don't know nothing about hockey.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
Jeff called me, I don't know nothing about hockey. I
know it's been twenty years. It's been twenty years since
we won. It's been fifty three years since the Knicks one.
But nobody go get my team, prop.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
No, no, Wall's congratulations to the g Hurricanes, yock.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I know so little about hockey.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Hey, hey, Miguel, the other day, I said how many innings? Yeah? Yeah,
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Like if you told me gun into my head, you said,
lie right now, convincement, you play hockey. I'll be like, yeah, man,
I'm a I'm a power forward.
Speaker 5 (11:40):
Hey, Jeff, I just ordered a shirt because there's a
guy on the the the Carolina Hurricanes.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Who is Kay Miller? Right what?
Speaker 4 (11:51):
I just ordered his I just and I didn't know
that his jersey that's us Miller.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
On the back. I'm getting it.
Speaker 5 (11:56):
So one of my coworkers is like, yo, like it's
and he's black. He's like, it's a black dude. He
played for not Edmonton on what's what's the What's Long Island?
Up near Long Island.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Let me find out. Let me find out he Kenada
the mcadoo's.
Speaker 8 (12:09):
Let me find that boy, my nephew. Let me find out, kid, y'all.
But my uncle chicken man, y'all.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Ain't gonna tell me nothing, bro yees.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
So I actually watched that game last night because you know,
I tell people I'm everything Carolina except for Duke. I
rufer anything that's North Carolina I am rooting for. But no,
I'm telling you, man, I don't know. Y'ad already talked
about it. I missed it.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Shout out to the New York We just I can't.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
I can't, I guys, I'm sorry, I'm grunning late. I
had therapy tonight. I'm trying to make myself better. But
I'm all I'm saying is man, congratulations to the franchise.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Hey, you know because you have a friend that's from
New York. I told these guys last show, you ain't
gonna be able to tell a person from New York.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
And will I saw Mills and Paige Lima, Yeah, I
saw pops burning cars. Yo, I saw fireman burning car.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
Hey, this is the thing to young people. You y'all
know the internet is forever. I don't think young people
know that, because that's jump they about. Hey, hey, Wimby,
I'm gonna give you oral sex like but like wow,
but but they say that you know the real the
car And I'm just like, do you young people know.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
That the internet is forever?
Speaker 2 (13:35):
But to be fair, to be fair, man, you know,
like like she gonna be going for a job in
New York one day and the boss is gonna be
watching it.
Speaker 8 (13:42):
Be like no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Magain they can woo for the team. These were young boys, Okay,
boss can be like the positions. I don't judge. I
ain't judging. Yeah, man, good luck to you guys. Pause.
That's called.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
Oh wait a minute, wait, I tell you man. Shout
out to New York bro. They was wow this weekend
and good for them. But my thing, Jaye, how much
time we got? I don't want to tell you that.
Great come on with we got? We just need to
take a break, so we'll come.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Right back to that. Okay, good, because I got a
question for y'all real quick.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Our eight and a half inches, we'll be right back
right here, real last, Real Radio with a four point.
Speaker 9 (14:22):
One Curtis Bateman and the Majesty Life Church present The
Family Reunion Comedy Show going down on June twenty seven.
(14:43):
Comedian Curtis Bateman, comedian Danye Lewis, and Chicken George.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Will be in the building bringing the funny act.
Speaker 6 (14:50):
Now get them early bird tickets for only nineteen ninety
nine because tickets will go up at.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
The door again June twenty seventh when it's going down.
Doors open at five thirty, showtime at six fifteen.
Speaker 6 (15:02):
Get your tickets right now at straight Foolishness dot com.
That's st R number eight Foolishness dot com.
Speaker 7 (15:10):
Come on out and let them put some comedy in
your life.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Welcome back, everybody.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
You are still listening to Real Labs on Real Radio
one A four point one.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I'm your host, James John.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
We're joining studio with Miguel Colone Junior because he knows
it was Daddy is Jeff the Batman cofin from the
official sponsor call Man and Lynn personal injury attorneys, and
the one and only godfather of Orlando comedy is here
with us now aka Carolina.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Herd Rick dang back.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
I'm back, hey, but we all know people from New
York and Kim was just missing mentioning what we talked
about yesterday, that these fans finally got what they wanted
after fifty something years, the nixt.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
One three years. I know Will Mills bro I can't
he said that day. Yo, hey yo.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
So so here's my question though, So the next one
of championship fifty three years now, let's take it the
National Football League.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
And I asked everybody this question.
Speaker 5 (16:15):
What team in the National Football League, if they won
a championship this year, would be equivalent to the Knicks
winning the.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Champions Jets, Dolphins, the Jets, the Jets.
Speaker 5 (16:26):
Thing the Jets tell, I said, the Jets said, Hey, Miguel,
I said, the Jets or the Cleveland Browns Jets because.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
James James Miami don't even love the Dolphins.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
They don't know.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
It's not like that because it's not yeah yeah it's Miami. Yeah,
if the Jets on the Browns won, he would mean
something because first of all, the fans of the Jets.
I'm a Jets fan. So he's playing this man closest
AFC Championship. I think twenty twelve against the Steelers, heart
(17:00):
was racing because I was like, this is our year
and the man Genie years. I was like, this is
our year all the time, and it just gets taken away.
God hates the Jets.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, you know the city. God hates the Jets. I
get it. I get it, man.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
But uh yeah, if if the Browns or the Jets,
if the Browns are the Jets were to do it
or back in the.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Not now, but back in the day, like say, there
is one team, what's that Buffalo?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Buffalo has been to a bunch, have a one one.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
I can give you that, But I'm with mcgeel. I
think it's the Jets of the Browns. Those are my
two teams. I feel like if one of those teams
win that. I think that's a New York It was
because the Jets have one one and it was like
the first Tu Bowl ever like the second that they
have one one.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I'm segregated.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
Yeah yeah right yeah, wide receivers are into Tonal.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
They had to come out. Yeah. I don't know. Korea.
Yeah no wow. That brother said they were deployed Korea. Yeah,
but those are my two James. I get Miami. I
also said the Detroit Lions.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
I put them in there too, But I feel like
Cleveland and Jets to me, if one of those teams winning,
I would say.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
The Jets because people who are Jets fans have been
let down so much.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
They're as dedicated as the Buffalo fans are.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Though Jets they skip games. Buffalo has their fans are
rabbid and co on Jets.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
Nah, just a Buffalo that fan base both for a
wild Cleveland Cleveland fan based wow too.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Like Mafia is full of ugly people. Let me go
on record, yea ugly people in there is ugly, God
bless him man. So so I wonder, like I wonder.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
What it's like the energy to be in New York
right now, though it must be amazing it's it must
be crazy right now.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
It's the same as when Illmatic dropped.
Speaker 5 (19:16):
Yeah, just to understand, I would just like to be
at a party with Cam like I bet that would
be fun as hell.
Speaker 10 (19:26):
No, man, you NEEDIC, I don't know. It was Cam
Patterson floor the boy.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
James Man, Yeah, that is hilarious.
Speaker 5 (19:43):
Camp Patterson, bro oh Man, hey man not not to
jump south. Speaking of Camp Patterson, we got a shout
to our boy man. Last week, David Jolly was at
the Funny Bone. Yir, James, let me talk about it
that show from the host.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
The host was all right, I guess okay, I wasn't
speaking job enough for the brothers.
Speaker 5 (20:08):
It was for not like Jolly was on stage and
miguelill tell you about the ticket sales because doing a
Thursday Wednesday night is hard to sell. It's it's just
so for anybody. But but no, it was Thursday, right
because I came out to work Jolly. When Jolly got
on stage, Jolly had them laughing. From Jolly, I'm David
(20:30):
Jolly to y'all have a good night.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Yeah, and I'm talking about jokes I had never heard
him do before.
Speaker 5 (20:35):
Yes, it was a for everybody good Miguel hosted, Curtis
Bateman did good Will Mills, Jari Anton p and then
Jolly was just the icing on the cake.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Man.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
Shout out to that boy man like I was, so
they called me greb Papa bitch. I was in the
back looking at one of my students up there, like
look at you click at him doing night and then
he let me borrow twenty day. There you go, Hey,
yet it was good Man mcguil. I let Miguel speak
on it more. But like I was super proud of
them guys man, like real talk man. I loved every
(21:09):
moment of that show.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Bro. There was not it was. It was it was
coming home show. A coming home show like that is
a big deal. The closest we had done before was
we had done the Tampa show a few months back
at Side Splitters and that was amazing. We sold out
Side Splitters and that was amazing. Beside Splitters a little
smaller than the improv. So when we got there, I
(21:31):
got there and I think Jolly had been there a
few minutes already.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
There was a line.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
And that means a big deal to me, man, because
I was there at like six twenty and there was
a line reaching to the bar, and I knew.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I was like, Man, we're gonna.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Do it, because we man, we always say every show
we're like, hey, we're gonna sell this out. We gonna
sell this out or something, keep the energy going. You know,
if you we learned early man, never say, oh, man,
I don't know how this one's gonna be. No, we're
selling out. We're just sell it out. It doesn't happen whatever.
But on this one, man, I was like, we're gonna
pack this out. And James all the way to the
back rows.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
What a show? Nice? What a show? I hate.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I couldn't be there for the show man, But in
fact it went off so well.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Man, Dan from.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Tom and Dad came out, it was out. Des de
Torre was out, Beauty came out and shut out.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Not a good shot out.
Speaker 5 (22:28):
Yeah, I'd be quiet right, she talked. She was wild
the whole show.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Bro.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
She is, She's like a black person at the movie theater.
She yeah, she thought she Jeff, she thought she was at.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
A Tyler Perry movie. She would now. At one point
she opened up a moving or four was even catfish.
I'm like, what are you look? Asking hot front? She
really that person though that like won't stop.
Speaker 5 (22:53):
Yeah, man, I don't think she understands and knows that
she's not supposed to do that.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
She she thinks she's a part of Yah.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Yeah she does. Yeah, but in a fun way. It
wasn't like disrespectful enough. She's so fun to be around.
She's such a cool person, hilarious.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
So she comes to the green room and she's talking.
I say something.
Speaker 5 (23:13):
She lasts when she laughs, she does that type laugh,
spits all in my face. Oh wow, And now I'm like, yo,
so I got this Mexican on me. I'm about to
get deported. And so now she's in and now she's
in on the joke. So now we do five minutes
of Ice coming to get me. And yeah, she was
so cool about it, man. But yeah, she she's super
Tyler Perry.
Speaker 7 (23:33):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
That's funny. Got shout out to Daisy Man.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
She's a good person, just sometimes she's about extra well.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Talk. Yeah, a good time, but we'll talk.
Speaker 7 (23:44):
Man.
Speaker 5 (23:44):
Shout out to David Jolly Man like, I'm proud of
that kid, bro, like we all are. It was dope
show man.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Good for him, Good for him man and Miguel, you
guys are gonna be at the end prov this entire
week up in Denver.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
We're in Denver, right for the rest of this week.
Nice man, y'all. Definitely y'all in the area.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Go check these brothers out, man, Go do some stuff
with them.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Man.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
But Ken, before you got here, we were talking about petty.
We were talking to petty that we've witnessed comedians do.
And Miguel told a wonderful story about Chappelle being petty
to Dang Cook and after his set things about going
after him. He said, Hey, y'all want to go outside
and take pictures, and everybody left.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
That's petty, yo.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Hey my, my petty is I'm gonna go do a
set before you and bury you that. If we're talking
comedy petty, if it's if it's a comedian, I gonna like, hey, doll,
let me get that guest spot. Yeah, don't say no.
Don't say no either, don't get let me get that
guest spot. That's that's as petty as I get in comedy.
(24:48):
If it comes to booking and stuff like that, I'm
not petty. People who I can't stand, I help them
get booked. I don't want that, true. I don't want that,
Karl Harma. But if I know, I'll mess with you
or you that comic.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Ain't nobody he nobody messing with me.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
Hey man, let let me go. I'm gonna tell you
the I'm gonna tell you the petties. It was me, Jay,
It might be you. It was me, Paedo Lima and
somebody else. I don't know if it was you and Miguel.
And the comedian was from Orlando. Comic went to l
(25:22):
A and came back and without and thought they was
big stuff. And the three of us went before that comedian.
Oh oh, I think that was Miguel.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
I don't think. I don't think that was me.
Speaker 5 (25:33):
And when I tell you we got done. That comedian
was bomba so bad passing the ticket chicken box, we
will passed. Well, it was me because we were telling
the comic go before us, because you know, we the
now I I'm out of okay, all right, yeah, okay, okay,
(25:55):
So yeah that's my petty in comedy.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I'm gonna go before you and bury you. So yeah, yeah, there.
Speaker 5 (26:01):
You go, man, and it and like like like Jeff
did say, sometimes people bring the pettiness on themselves sometimes.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
I've never I'm never petty to somebody who didn't bring
it on himself.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
I'm a forgiven dude. I had.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
I had a guy, you know, I'm gonna mention his name,
but it was a big headliner and his uh his
feature uh kind of submarine me the next and where
where the headliner came up to me and had to
talk with me, and I was like what, and I
realized he had lied and said some things, and he goes, so,
you know you did fifteen before, you're only going to
(26:37):
do five tonight. And I said, hey, listen, you tell
me what you're going to do. And I knew this
dude was following me. So I did the best five
I had and then I did something that you never do,
And I'm going to introduce you to the funniest guy
you've ever heard.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Set him up.
Speaker 4 (26:57):
And handed the bike to him and he gets he's
looking at me like, he gets up, he bombs for
twenty five minutes. Well, the headliner is standing in the
back now and he's a famous dude. And I walked
up to him and he just laughed at me, and
he goes, I got it, man, I'm sorry. I didn't
know what happened. But yeah, yeah, when somebody does something wrong.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Hey, one time, one time a comic am I gonna
say his name Rhyme's with Pumpkin Gray.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Did a joke. I did a joke and I love me.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
It was my joke, and I was like, all right,
and he bombed though he bombed doing the jokes, and
then afterwards he was like, hey, sorry about that.
Speaker 7 (27:38):
Man.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
I just knew that that tag would work right there,
and I said, no, that's cool, that's cool. And the
next time I saw him, we were at the same
room and I was going up before him and I.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Did his set. Oh, I just did it.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
I said, sorry, man, I knew that tag was gonna work.
Speaker 5 (28:05):
Son, Oh my god, that bro. I wish I'd admit
that that would have been.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
It's funny.
Speaker 7 (28:11):
Man.
Speaker 5 (28:11):
Going back to Jeff, Jeff don't seem like a petty
person like that. So I understand Jeff not doing anything
petty could.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
Turn the cheek unless you stick it in my face,
like if you do something wrong to me, and then.
Speaker 5 (28:24):
You yeah, yo, Jeff, with you today, dog, you is
pausing like crazy.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
To be seen in the v HS in the eighties, Hey, yo,
what that what we call fast times? No, I'm a
good I'm a good natured person, but yeah, you really are.
Speaker 5 (28:45):
That's why I'm like, I can't see forgive you, you know.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
But then again, I said, if you if you decide
to gorilla stomp on me afterwards, you know we're gonna
we're gonna turn that switch on and you ain't gonna
like it, and I don't care.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Some people take petty to a new level. Man.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
I remember there was a famous comic at the UH
it was the improper at the time who got beat
up by I guy twice. They put him outside, they
got went to another door, came back and whoop. The
comics had some more like yeah sometime, Patty good dog, Hey,
you beat me up at the comedicy cud, I'm gonna
kill him. I'm gonna kill you, bro like I I'm fifty. Bro,
(29:26):
I ain't trying to be on nobody. TikTok. I ain't
trying to be on nobody. I got beat up, tik tok. Hey, man,
you do somewhere to me. Man, I'm gone, it's gone
murder here. Bro, Just be ready to get murdered. Just
be ready to be murdered, my dude, because when that.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Little kid beat up Cat Williams. Yeah, yeah, you had
to kill that kid.
Speaker 7 (29:46):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
We were like, damn kid, you gotta go now. Yeah, man,
I got to kill you.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
Man, I did, especially if I was like opening for Cat.
I'm like, we can't lose these dates. Talking smack, I
got I gotta handle this.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
I gotta kill you, man, dog do this to you,
but you gotta go. Sorry, I let you go. Baby.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Hey, speaking of God, we gotta go take a break
right now, but y'all don't go in the world. Would
be right back with some more hilarity right here on
Real Last Real Radio one of four point one. Welcome back, everybody.
(30:38):
You are still rocking with Real Labs on Real Radio
one O four point one. I'm your host, mister James John.
We got Miguel Colone. Don't you forget to Junior. You
know it's whose daddy is and our official sponsor from
Coaufman and Lynn personal injury Attorneys, Jeff the Batman Kaufman
and the one the only mister Ken Miller that God
followed Orlando Comedy.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
But today it's Carolina Hurricane, y'all.
Speaker 5 (30:58):
I gotta your love to tomguil Cologne, Senior bro Man
Pops about it. Pops text me, Happy two hundred fifty
first birthday to the United States Army. Pops text, hey,
so me and Pops be texting each other when they
come to military stuff. And he, you know, I posted
it and he texted me to say thank you man.
And you know, I'm I'm you know, I don't know.
(31:19):
I love the Army. You know, Army Army did a
lot for me man, you know. And Jeff shout out
to your baby. Happy two hundred fifty first birthday to
the United States Army. Bro, that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Now, kid, would you be one of those people to
tell people or recommended people.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Hey, man, if you're not sure what to do after
high school, yeh, take to the military.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Oh take it not. No, I tell her, go to
the Air Force. I say, yes, go to the Air Force.
Go to the Air Force.
Speaker 7 (31:44):
No.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
I tell people I've been trying to get my daughter
to go. I'm like, look, you're not doing anything you
can sign up for. You can do two years. Yeah,
but but but you get out.
Speaker 5 (31:54):
You got college money, you got some life experiences. If
you got to go out, if you're a good saving person,
you can put that money away. Because they take care
of everything while you're there. You know what I'm saying, Like, Man,
that nine years really built me as a man. You know,
I tell you my first four years of the military
was college for me.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (32:14):
It was like going to college. It's my freshman year
to my senior all in Fort Wachuka. Because you had
never been nowhere.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
I had never been to. I ain't never been on
no plane.
Speaker 5 (32:21):
Bruh, I done got to go over They don't let
me go over seas at nineteen. They done sent me
to Thailand. They ain't nowhere.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Hell, you should have sent no project kick. I was
over there acting up, bro.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
You was in Moscow.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Bro.
Speaker 5 (32:32):
My Scout was my second So that was my medical
school years. I called that my man school. When I
was working the DC, that's when I was in man.
I was in law school then, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Was in Thailand and she's like, I'm a lady boy.
He's like, hey, call me boy.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I ain't no no better. He one of my homemos.
Like pause, I'm like pausing, even been admitting.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Dog, he don't call me boy, Hey boy, Hey, don't
call me that wows.
Speaker 8 (33:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Man, Now I'm with Jeff.
Speaker 5 (33:11):
Yeah, I will if you're not doing anything, you're just
sitting around, man, I recommend it, you know, two four years.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
And after the four years, Hey, man, I ain't like this.
I'm gone home and go home. You know what my
dad says on the time. It makes me laugh, but
he will. He will always say this.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
He's like, if you don't know what you want to
do with your life, but you have drive, you have dedication.
He's like, and you're a hard worker. He's like, it
behooves you to look at the Army and people will
be like, what about the Marine Corps.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
He's like, Nah, you ain't ready for that.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
He's like, I will say this. I've met a lot
of military people. I've never been in the military, but
I will say the Marine people are different.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Likes It's cool, bro, I will say this, and Jeff
will know that.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
There are units in the Army that are a cult.
Airborne is a cult.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Rangers a cult where it is more than just you're serving,
it is your identity.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
So the entire bridge I can tell you some of
the stuff you do. Units in the Army that are cults,
Like like I you never it's never out of you.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
You're never done with it because you have guys like,
for example, there there's these guys called the Phantom Airborne
Brigade and they're jumpers and there in their sixties and seventies,
and about two years ago they contacted me. They go, hey,
you were the eighty second, why don't you do a
jump with us? And I'm still dumb enough to jump
out of an airplane on my own in my fifties.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
And it's just a mentality that you have, you know.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
So he see Charlie mcado would be like, that's a
good boy right there.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Ken, I can't do it. I ain't no way, no,
I ain't jumping out nothing, bro. I don't even jump
out of my car. Talk about it now, damn.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
You know.
Speaker 4 (35:01):
You know when Jeff's out of his car, like he's
stepping out of the shower just to make sure it
will fall down, you.
Speaker 9 (35:06):
Know, Jeff.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
You know, Jeff did like fifty eleven hundred jumps, and
when he got out of the army, he was like,
something's wrong with my knees, and like, yeah, that's not
service related, that's.
Speaker 5 (35:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's crazy to me when I hear that, Yeah,
you were airporing your knees are shot for a reason.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
No, I don't believe it.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
It's a different life, man, you know, for for us
because the TV jumps. When you see TV, they pulled
the targos down. You land on your feet, You're like,
this is cute. In the military, you land like a
sack of potatoes.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
You hit that boom.
Speaker 4 (35:37):
You know, there's no landing on your feet, you know,
and you're just going, did I not break something this time?
And let's go and move?
Speaker 2 (35:44):
I had.
Speaker 4 (35:44):
I had about forty or fifty where I was like, okay,
I'm okay. And later on I said I made a
deal with God on my last jump when I ain't
doing this no more.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
And then of course I broke my deal with God,
you know, two years ago, and I was like, one,
he gonna get me.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Now They're like, Jeff, you about two inches shorter. What
happened is your knees is up in your femurs.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Now.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
The clinical diagnosis for that it's called paratroopernes.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Unfortunately, though it's not service related. Yeah, I'm just saying,
you wear shoes. Man, get had whooping off and got
full disability.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Man.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
I was like, hey, hey, I've been doing this joke.
Bro and it's been doing great.
Speaker 5 (36:25):
So you know, asking anybody got anybody kids to live
with them, and if it's anybody over thirty, I'd be like, yo,
it's something wrong with them, Broq and it kills But
I say, but Dave, I say, hey, I'm gonna say
with veteran, I.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Could do that. I'm like, I got a packer. I
got a packard in my car. I can drag my
foot if I won't to you use the word placard. Yeah,
I got in my car.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
We were outside of Fort Bragg in uh in North Carolina.
I was doing the show years ago and.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
I was out. In fact, it was with Goldie. I
was booked with Goldie.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
We're outside Fort Bragg and I remember most of the
Fort Bragg, huge army base. That's the SF's base and
stuff like that, and tons and this is like twenty twelve, yep,
twenty twelve, Fort Brag. I'm outside there. Pretty much sixty
percent of his audience is army and this is g
watt Era to these guys, multiple deployments and stuff. I
(37:25):
see a dude, he's got a had on that says
Operation Iraqi Freedom. I said, hey, man, I said, you
were in Operation Iraqi Freedom.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
He says, yeah, man, I said, hey man, my dad
was in Vietnam. He didn't win his either. I said,
I said, hey, bro, something about dudes in pajamas. It's
just hard to beat Wow audience.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
That audience ruugheded, And then I started doing jokes about
Jody and started doing jokes about how if you're gonna
have somebody cheating on your wife while you're deployed, you
want it to be me, cause I'm like, I'm just
a hold of her, baby.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
I can't replace you, I say, And the minute you come.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Back, I'm gonna answer the door and be like, hey man,
you must be staff sergeant Greer player. I've heard so
much about you. I'm like, do do me a favor.
I'm like, kids, guess what Papa's home. I said, hey man,
do me a favorite.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
I'm gonna run.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
I'm gonna grab some of my Xbox games real quick.
I'm gonna take the Toastinos pizza because I play in it.
On that I was like, but she gonna be real
happy to see you. And I said, let me get
you in the house. And when I say let me
get you in the house, I turn around and push
him on a wheelchair inside the house. That ship blew
up the room. I love military audience. Give me a
(38:45):
military audience, Give me police, give me, give me doctor's nurses.
Anybody that lives in.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
The dark world, nothing throws them. They don't get what
do you call it?
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Like, genuinely believe you're saying and you're not coming across fake.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
You're gonna kill it, Jeff. Are lawyers the same way too?
Speaker 2 (39:05):
Though?
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Are lawyers the same way because egos assholes? Yeah, because
you are lawyer, you can say that. Sorry, I've been
on the radio for five years. That's the first time
I did.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you this's gonna be so
much by that by that question.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
But actually, actually you can say it.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
You can't say the physical anatomy part being that, but
you can say a person is that.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I learned that on the Monsters back in the day. Well,
let's not push that limit because I can't want to
say it like you pushed it in so much. Michael
said it was okay yo. Yeah, oh god, I love you.
I wrote it down for our wonderful sound engineer King.
Speaker 4 (39:52):
No attorneys. Attorneys are the worst, man, Really, I hate
I hate being around other lawyers. Really, you don't like
that most well, the this is the reason why most
of them never had to suffer, and they're self important.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
You know the army. You know, once you survived the army,
you got it. You're cool with everything.
Speaker 4 (40:11):
You don't see the world and oh I got a
good It's simply listen, I'm fortunate to be here. Most
attorneys I know, even when they screw up, they can't
take responsibility for it, no accountability, no ability ability. So
I have to do that all the time. Maybe that's
why you know I've gotten where I am in law
and other attorneys too that I seen and Morgan. It's
(40:32):
funny Morgan and Newland come from that same background too.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
You know.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
Morgan was a paper boy and everything else. Dan was
a cop. You know.
Speaker 4 (40:39):
Normally the guys who were in charge of like large
law firms, you know, suffered. They didn't go to like
Harvard and places like that.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
They really worked for it. Yeah, it wasn't a legacy
thing for them.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
That's why I can be friends with certain people and
I can't be friends most of the attorneys I can't
be friends with because they never had to fight for
what they have.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
They don't. They don't see it the same way you do.
Speaker 4 (40:58):
No No's and you're around these guys and they're they're
it's self important. You're just like, you know, Mercedes, and
then whatever they're driving, you just kind of got pound
sand dude.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
I do notice that you don't drive what people would
imagine a lawyer to drive. You don't ever do that, Jeb.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
No, No, I can't because I I remember my old
partner took me to the Mercedes dealership and we got
in this S class and I'm sitting here and they're
showing me the joystick and they're going, this car is
one hundred and twenty thousand dollars. And the guy who's
waiting to get in the car after me, he's got
his bluetooth in and he's yelling at somebody like he's important.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
I go, No, this is the guy who sits in
this It's not me.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
So that's just the way I do it.
Speaker 4 (41:42):
But like the same thing, I'll walk in in my
Jordan's and every tourney I know is in snake skin
and everything else, and I'm like, oh.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Yeah, I'd rather meet snakes Jordan's. Yeah, I got them
here you got him.
Speaker 5 (41:54):
Okay, I'm not mad at that at all. But before
we go, guys, what if episode Man, We're coming to
the very end of the week. All new shows this week.
Where are you guys going to beat this weekend? So
people can come? Definitely jackie out mister Coffin, we will
start with you.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
What do you got going on? Sir?
Speaker 4 (42:11):
I got the Underwroad podcasts and our broadcast show Saturday morning,
but even better than that, Fathersday Night at seven point thirty,
I'm gonna be at the Orlando Pirates game and we
got twenty five seats and if you want to come.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Let me know nice, I'll save you a couple very nice.
Speaker 5 (42:27):
Go support Orlando man O town in the building ken
the Carolina Hurricanes, who won, Sir.
Speaker 1 (42:33):
They've done what they're supposed to do. So where you're
gonna be this weekend so you can celebrate Man? Thursday night,
which is where this show is airing. I'm at Wesley
Chapel Sispitals.
Speaker 5 (42:42):
Show probably go get canceled because I ain't sold two tickets,
But the rest of the weekend, the rest of the weekend,
it's sold out with wig, so I don't even care.
Man Bro, I did a whole PSA. I don't have
you signed arms of the as hey, hey, and so
two tickets damn p even guilty tickets. I couldn't guilt
(43:02):
two tickets, Jeffrey, Hey, but ken them?
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Which shows? Come on? Man, hey, man Pete, look at him?
His wife spent all that money. Already got a bull
in the background. Now, hey, I'm drinking that members Mark Ward,
I'm doing that. You do it all right?
Speaker 5 (43:21):
That's that good water right there, good water right there,
Miguel telling them what.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
You're already there right now? Man, where you're in Denver?
Speaker 2 (43:28):
Improv I get back to ORL on Friday, and then
I've got a show at Secrets with Sean Finnity and
mister Foorrel seven Kevin Dean.
Speaker 5 (43:36):
I asked my wife, can I know because I live,
consent me? She said no, no, tell her.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Look come with you, James show bro.
Speaker 5 (43:44):
It's it's probably my favorite shot done all year, and
I know people she want to go.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
She got the mask on you because he looks and
sees the erections of the.
Speaker 7 (43:56):
James.
Speaker 5 (43:56):
I'm telling you, if if we got to do a
real laugh show, then all of us bring our wives y'all.
It's an amazing like when the comedy club, they're not
naked older that now when you walk out though they're.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Wearing sails, they just d's and bes. Baby when you
walk out, Baby pauls. Yeah, it's like it's like Alps Noos.
Speaker 5 (44:28):
On that note, I will be in Fort Myers at
Snapper's Comedy Club Friday and Saturday.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Y'all come out and check me out. If you want to.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
Let's have a good time. They put some comedy in
your life. All behalf of myself. James John that's Miguel Cologne.
Don't you forget the junior. He knows whose daddy is.
Jeff the Batman Kaufman and Ken Miller aka the Godfather
of Orlando comedy.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
We got to go. We will see y'all next week.
But before we go, kids, tell them.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
What to do.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Take your ass to bed. A shout out to the New.
Speaker 5 (44:55):
York Knicks and the Carolina Hurricanes, New York Jets, y'all
on the clock.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
We out
What is up everybody?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Thank you?
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Could you have just tuned into Real Last Real Radio
one or four point one. I am your host tonight,
mister James jan We are your nightcap of comedy. I
am joined in studio with my good friend who helped
start all this hilarrity over ten years ago. I'm talking
about the one, the Only, Miguel Cologne. Don't you forget
about the junior because he knows who his daddy is.
We also have in studio our official sponsor from the
(00:30):
Coffin and Len personal injury attorneys. That's right, they've been
representing and winning for the good people of Orlando for
over twenty years. More information and go to whenunedus dot com.
So I'm talking about the one, the only mister Jeff
the Batman Coffin in the building as well. Now, we
got a great show for you guys. We're just having
a great conversation about how sometimes comedians can be petty.
(00:51):
And when I say sometimes, I mean all the time.
And I will say this, Miguel, I'll preface this because
you've got a great story. The bigger the comedian, the
more petty they can be, because they willed the big sword, right.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
So go ahead, man with a story. Here's the thing
with petty petty.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Sometimes petty the worst petty is uh when you are
seeking out to be petty. But sometimes your mind and
your business and something happens to you and you're like,
all right, all right, I know you're like, hey, Jesus,
close your eyes for this one, because I'm about that,
Like that time I got in that threesome with Dimidges. Jesus,
(01:34):
just stay in the car. You don't even see what's
about to happen.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
He had the Bible of God watching. I hear.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Yeah, no, I'd heard a great story, and I'd heard
like Rogan talking about it in a couple other podcasts
discussing it. And it was the time that Dave Chappelle
came into the store to do some time and because
he just bumped in, and they're very strict on time
at these places. And everybody know these lineups are huge.
These lineups have Jay Leno on them. You know these lineups.
Everybody's got fifteen, twelve, nine minutes. Whatever you got, that's
(02:00):
what you got. And everybody understands that because they have
a deep respect for it. And apparently Dane Cook was
the headliner or the headline. He was closing out the
closing out the you know, the showcase, and Chappelle wanted
to come in. So they were asking, is anybody willing
to give up some of the time, And Dan Cook
had I think a twenty minute spot because he was
closing out the showcase. Everybody else had fifteen minutes. And
(02:21):
a couple other comics were real cool about it, and
they were like, yeah, Dave, you could take a couple
of my minutes. And these are established comics too, and
you know, as the story goes, Dank Cook wasn't feeling
it and was not going to give up any of
his time.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
And made a stink about it.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So Chappelle goes on right before Dan Cook, right before
the show closes out. He's doing his ten minutes because
two comics gave him five of theirs. And on the
last minute he's there with his cigarette and he looks
at the crowd and he goes, you know, I don't
normally do this, but tell you what, when I get
on stage, why don't you guys come outside with me
and I'll take pictures and stuff. And so the minute
(02:56):
he does that, he empties the whole room and now
Dany Cook has to go up there and perform his
fifteen minutes to an empty club because everyone's outside kicking
it with Dave Chappelle.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Hey, Hey, do your time. Hey, listen, listen. Some people
bring that on themselves. And we've all done something to
a fellow comedian who did something wrong to us, and
it normally happens right before we go on. They do
something just foul to you, and you got to and.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I would say this too, that's within the gentleman's code
of response.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yes, correct, it's within the gentleman's code of response.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
It's not I'm gonna blast this dude, I'm gonna fight
this dude. I'm gonna do all this wild nonsense. It's like,
very well, allow me to show you what I could do.
I remember growing up my good friend Diggs, very attractive
dude man. The ladies loved him. And our buddy Junior.
Junior and Diggs we're kind of going at it, not hard,
(03:57):
but just kind of talking trash to each other in
the car and Junior and we were and we were
on the way to go see this girl that Junior knew.
And I still remember, uh, we were sitting in the
car and Diggs was just taking it as Junior was
kind of trying to talk some trash and before we
before we got out, Diggs put his hand on Junior
and he said, hey, if you take it back everything
(04:18):
you said right now, I won't get out this car
and introduce myself to that girl. It was the coldest,
pettiest line, like, bro, I'll go and introduce myself to
her and I'll take her tonight.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
And Junior was like, hey man, we was just joking.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Was and it was about it about two minutes of
Diggs just staring at Junior was like.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Not take back what I said. Oh, sometimes you smart
enough to do the right thing. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And
that talks. You take it, You take your lumps.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
You know you did it within the gentleman's code. Boys,
that's the key to pettiness. Keep it within the gentleman's code.
You can not react. Basically, I'm trying to think of
what they discussed it with a proportionate response in like
big military terms and world governing terms. You know, they
blow up a satellite mase, you can't NUCA City.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
You've got to have a.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Proportionate hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on that
that's a self defense argument.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
But I can tell I can tell you what right now,
that's funny.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
The lay is like, if you want to end it,
you go through moonc thermonuclear. I want you to know something.
I did it this, dude, And this is the comedy.
When I was in college, some guy thought it was
funny and wrapped this dead squirrel around my doorknob. And
I got home and I'm with my girlfriend and I'm
staring at this dead squirrel and what that?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Who would?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Why would somebody? What's the point? And I remember going
into a friend of mine calls him up, but he's laughing.
Ha ha ha. He goes it was funny, wasn't it.
I'm like, dude, why would you do? You do realize
I'm gonna respond, But the games begin before you finish
the story.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
I will say this is a little different because he's
already taken it to a very high level.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
It's my dead animal on your door. I watch you
know something? You started it?
Speaker 4 (06:10):
You think you think that you think there's the okay? Yeah,
And he rubbed it in my face in front of
a bunch of guys. Thought it was funny, and I said, okay.
So the next day, I'm walking. I'm walking to one
of my classes and I see this like huge roadkill,
like apossum. And I said, hmmm, that is a very
(06:30):
interesting opportunity. And I walked back to my house. I
got a bag. I stuffed that thing and it was awful.
I mean, you ain't seen awful till you've seen this thing.
And I put it in the dude's bed and let me.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Just say this.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
It festered in his bedroom for about six hours that
anybody who walked in his house thought like, what died
in here?
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Oh it is. You got to throw the bed away.
Speaker 5 (06:56):
You can't keep that bed yep, yeah, you got to
burn the house.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
And he walked in the house and I was sitting
there like days you flipped the mattress. Chill out.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
I got two sides over a horse. And let's just
say this. He he goes, man coffin, will stick a
dead body in my bed?
Speaker 6 (07:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Hey, I used to work, but said, he said, prank
wars with these girls I work with. I was. I
was a waiter in the Florida mall, worked the Book
of the Pepo. Me and these two girls we would have, Yeah,
we would have these prank wars all the time.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
It was good. It was good.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
We have we have fun time with our prank war,
and uh it was getting it was getting fun, but
it was also getting I had to do with both
of them, so it was starting to get like damn
getting getting hit from both sides. So I used to
trade food out to all the people in the mall.
I would I would have to make up big plates
of food, and I would just come by different stores
and drop off food and just be like, hey, I
may need something later. And I remember doing it with Sophora,
(07:52):
and they took me up, like let me spray. I
would take the tester bottles and just spray them in
empty bottles, and I check a whole thing of cologne
right there. So I had a good report of all
of them. Well, I remember I went to the pet store.
I said, hey, I need this. I need you to
print me up a receipt that said I bought ten
tyrantulists and then just give me that receipt. I don't
(08:15):
care if it has some kind of code where you
can't return it. I just need a receipt that it
says I bought ten tyrantals. At the time, Transil was
like twenty bucks apiece and weren't even expensive. And I
remember I came to the girls in the back room
because the prank war was getting heavy and it was
starting to getting stressful every time to wash my back,
and I came in and I was like, ladies, I
was like, I have recently purchased two hundred dollars worth
of tarantulists.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
I was like, now, as.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Long as we don't this is me exposing that I
had a nuclear capabilities. I was like, as long as
this prank war kind of fizzles its way out, we
don't have to do anything with these tarantulists. But if
it keeps escalating, I have ten tyrantualists at my disposal.
Those are my ICBMs. And I'm listening, and you know,
(09:00):
there was a bluff, but I was also letting it know.
I'm gonna care for these tarantulas. I'm investing in this,
like I'm I'm so, let's just end it. Let's end
it here before I got to bring ten tarantulas out
one of these days or one a day, and.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
That's still within the realms of gentlemen in my opinion, Like, hey,
I'm giving you an out. I'm letting you know, we
don't have to take it here, but I'm willing to
do it.
Speaker 7 (09:24):
Hey.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
One time, one time I filled up a whole mop
bucket and picked up one of the girls and just
dunked one of her feet in the mop bucket and
she had to work the whole shift her foot was
ye so, uh is.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
That such a horrible thing. By the way, if you're
sock mop bucket water, yeah, it's spelled like fabulo thoat.
They went back and forth on me. When I I can't,
I came back.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
One time they had poured they had poured anchovy juice,
uh right on the like right right right on my
door handles, and so I'm coming to my car and
I'm like, it's just sitting in the hot summer day
and I'm like, what is that smell? So that's why
I was like, hey man, I'm gonna I'm gonna have
to invest in tarantula technology. Basically, I had them split
(10:08):
in tarantula atoms in the warehouse underneath the earth, and
I was like, do we have yellow kicked tarentulas? Okay,
get our land back.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Bro y'all took that seriously to the prank Wars man,
because I'm not a prankster, so I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
I'm not either, but I will end it. I will
end it like, well.
Speaker 5 (10:25):
You put a dead anim on a dude's bed, though,
Jeff like, hey, hey listen, he's stuck it in my face.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Man, that ain't right. Paws, Yo, he wiggled it.
Speaker 8 (10:39):
Oh was up for that, yo.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Godfather a comedy shows up just to step in on
that one.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Yeah, you get the Can Miller today. He has a
new aka. You know he always has a different name.
He is the Carolina Hurricane.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
My team Wanner Stanley cuff tampions him. Baby. Yeah, I
don't know noth about He don't know nothing about hockey.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
Jeff called me, I don't know nothing about hockey. I
know it's been twenty years. It's been twenty years since
we won. It's been fifty three years since the Knicks one.
But nobody go get my team, prop.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
No, no, Wall's congratulations to the g Hurricanes, yock.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I know so little about hockey.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Hey, hey, Miguel, the other day, I said how many innings? Yeah? Yeah,
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Like if you told me gun into my head, you said,
lie right now, convincement, you play hockey. I'll be like, yeah, man,
I'm a I'm a power forward.
Speaker 5 (11:40):
Hey, Jeff, I just ordered a shirt because there's a
guy on the the the Carolina Hurricanes.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Who is Kay Miller? Right what?
Speaker 4 (11:51):
I just ordered his I just and I didn't know
that his jersey that's us Miller.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
On the back. I'm getting it.
Speaker 5 (11:56):
So one of my coworkers is like, yo, like it's
and he's black. He's like, it's a black dude. He
played for not Edmonton on what's what's the What's Long Island?
Up near Long Island.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Let me find out. Let me find out he Kenada
the mcadoo's.
Speaker 8 (12:09):
Let me find that boy, my nephew. Let me find out, kid, y'all.
But my uncle chicken man, y'all.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Ain't gonna tell me nothing, bro yees.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
So I actually watched that game last night because you know,
I tell people I'm everything Carolina except for Duke. I
rufer anything that's North Carolina I am rooting for. But no,
I'm telling you, man, I don't know. Y'ad already talked
about it. I missed it.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Shout out to the New York We just I can't.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
I can't, I guys, I'm sorry, I'm grunning late. I
had therapy tonight. I'm trying to make myself better. But
I'm all I'm saying is man, congratulations to the franchise.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Hey, you know because you have a friend that's from
New York. I told these guys last show, you ain't
gonna be able to tell a person from New York.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
And will I saw Mills and Paige Lima, Yeah, I
saw pops burning cars. Yo, I saw fireman burning car.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
Hey, this is the thing to young people. You y'all
know the internet is forever. I don't think young people
know that, because that's jump they about. Hey, hey, Wimby,
I'm gonna give you oral sex like but like wow,
but but they say that you know the real the
car And I'm just like, do you young people know.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
That the internet is forever?
Speaker 2 (13:35):
But to be fair, to be fair, man, you know,
like like she gonna be going for a job in
New York one day and the boss is gonna be
watching it.
Speaker 8 (13:42):
Be like no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Magain they can woo for the team. These were young boys, Okay,
boss can be like the positions. I don't judge. I
ain't judging. Yeah, man, good luck to you guys. Pause.
That's called.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
Oh wait a minute, wait, I tell you man. Shout
out to New York bro. They was wow this weekend
and good for them. But my thing, Jaye, how much
time we got? I don't want to tell you that.
Great come on with we got? We just need to
take a break, so we'll come.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Right back to that. Okay, good, because I got a
question for y'all real quick.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Our eight and a half inches, we'll be right back
right here, real last, Real Radio with a four point.
Speaker 9 (14:22):
One Curtis Bateman and the Majesty Life Church present The
Family Reunion Comedy Show going down on June twenty seven.
(14:43):
Comedian Curtis Bateman, comedian Danye Lewis, and Chicken George.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Will be in the building bringing the funny act.
Speaker 6 (14:50):
Now get them early bird tickets for only nineteen ninety
nine because tickets will go up at.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
The door again June twenty seventh when it's going down.
Doors open at five thirty, showtime at six fifteen.
Speaker 6 (15:02):
Get your tickets right now at straight Foolishness dot com.
That's st R number eight Foolishness dot com.
Speaker 7 (15:10):
Come on out and let them put some comedy in
your life.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Welcome back, everybody.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
You are still listening to Real Labs on Real Radio
one A four point one.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I'm your host, James John.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
We're joining studio with Miguel Colone Junior because he knows
it was Daddy is Jeff the Batman cofin from the
official sponsor call Man and Lynn personal injury attorneys, and
the one and only godfather of Orlando comedy is here
with us now aka Carolina.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Herd Rick dang back.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
I'm back, hey, but we all know people from New
York and Kim was just missing mentioning what we talked
about yesterday, that these fans finally got what they wanted
after fifty something years, the nixt.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
One three years. I know Will Mills bro I can't
he said that day. Yo, hey yo.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
So so here's my question though, So the next one
of championship fifty three years now, let's take it the
National Football League.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
And I asked everybody this question.
Speaker 5 (16:15):
What team in the National Football League, if they won
a championship this year, would be equivalent to the Knicks
winning the.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Champions Jets, Dolphins, the Jets, the Jets.
Speaker 5 (16:26):
Thing the Jets tell, I said, the Jets said, Hey, Miguel,
I said, the Jets or the Cleveland Browns Jets because.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
James James Miami don't even love the Dolphins.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
They don't know.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
It's not like that because it's not yeah yeah it's Miami. Yeah,
if the Jets on the Browns won, he would mean
something because first of all, the fans of the Jets.
I'm a Jets fan. So he's playing this man closest
AFC Championship. I think twenty twelve against the Steelers, heart
(17:00):
was racing because I was like, this is our year
and the man Genie years. I was like, this is
our year all the time, and it just gets taken away.
God hates the Jets.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, you know the city. God hates the Jets. I
get it. I get it, man.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
But uh yeah, if if the Browns or the Jets,
if the Browns are the Jets were to do it
or back in the.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Not now, but back in the day, like say, there
is one team, what's that Buffalo?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Buffalo has been to a bunch, have a one one.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
I can give you that, But I'm with mcgeel. I
think it's the Jets of the Browns. Those are my
two teams. I feel like if one of those teams
win that. I think that's a New York It was
because the Jets have one one and it was like
the first Tu Bowl ever like the second that they
have one one.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I'm segregated.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
Yeah yeah right yeah, wide receivers are into Tonal.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
They had to come out. Yeah. I don't know. Korea.
Yeah no wow. That brother said they were deployed Korea. Yeah,
but those are my two James. I get Miami. I
also said the Detroit Lions.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
I put them in there too, But I feel like
Cleveland and Jets to me, if one of those teams winning,
I would say.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
The Jets because people who are Jets fans have been
let down so much.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
They're as dedicated as the Buffalo fans are.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Though Jets they skip games. Buffalo has their fans are
rabbid and co on Jets.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
Nah, just a Buffalo that fan base both for a
wild Cleveland Cleveland fan based wow too.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Like Mafia is full of ugly people. Let me go
on record, yea ugly people in there is ugly, God
bless him man. So so I wonder, like I wonder.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
What it's like the energy to be in New York
right now, though it must be amazing it's it must
be crazy right now.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
It's the same as when Illmatic dropped.
Speaker 5 (19:16):
Yeah, just to understand, I would just like to be
at a party with Cam like I bet that would
be fun as hell.
Speaker 10 (19:26):
No, man, you NEEDIC, I don't know. It was Cam
Patterson floor the boy.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
James Man, Yeah, that is hilarious.
Speaker 5 (19:43):
Camp Patterson, bro oh Man, hey man not not to
jump south. Speaking of Camp Patterson, we got a shout
to our boy man. Last week, David Jolly was at
the Funny Bone. Yir, James, let me talk about it
that show from the host.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
The host was all right, I guess okay, I wasn't
speaking job enough for the brothers.
Speaker 5 (20:08):
It was for not like Jolly was on stage and
miguelill tell you about the ticket sales because doing a
Thursday Wednesday night is hard to sell. It's it's just
so for anybody. But but no, it was Thursday, right
because I came out to work Jolly. When Jolly got
on stage, Jolly had them laughing. From Jolly, I'm David
(20:30):
Jolly to y'all have a good night.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Yeah, and I'm talking about jokes I had never heard
him do before.
Speaker 5 (20:35):
Yes, it was a for everybody good Miguel hosted, Curtis
Bateman did good Will Mills, Jari Anton p and then
Jolly was just the icing on the cake.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Man.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
Shout out to that boy man like I was, so
they called me greb Papa bitch. I was in the
back looking at one of my students up there, like
look at you click at him doing night and then
he let me borrow twenty day. There you go, Hey,
yet it was good Man mcguil. I let Miguel speak
on it more. But like I was super proud of
them guys man, like real talk man. I loved every
(21:09):
moment of that show.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Bro. There was not it was. It was it was
coming home show. A coming home show like that is
a big deal. The closest we had done before was
we had done the Tampa show a few months back
at Side Splitters and that was amazing. We sold out
Side Splitters and that was amazing. Beside Splitters a little
smaller than the improv. So when we got there, I
(21:31):
got there and I think Jolly had been there a
few minutes already.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
There was a line.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
And that means a big deal to me, man, because
I was there at like six twenty and there was
a line reaching to the bar, and I knew.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I was like, Man, we're gonna.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Do it, because we man, we always say every show
we're like, hey, we're gonna sell this out. We gonna
sell this out or something, keep the energy going. You know,
if you we learned early man, never say, oh, man,
I don't know how this one's gonna be. No, we're
selling out. We're just sell it out. It doesn't happen whatever.
But on this one, man, I was like, we're gonna
pack this out. And James all the way to the
back rows.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
What a show? Nice? What a show? I hate.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I couldn't be there for the show man, But in
fact it went off so well.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Man, Dan from.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Tom and Dad came out, it was out. Des de
Torre was out, Beauty came out and shut out.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Not a good shot out.
Speaker 5 (22:28):
Yeah, I'd be quiet right, she talked. She was wild
the whole show.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Bro.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
She is, She's like a black person at the movie theater.
She yeah, she thought she Jeff, she thought she was at.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
A Tyler Perry movie. She would now. At one point
she opened up a moving or four was even catfish.
I'm like, what are you look? Asking hot front? She
really that person though that like won't stop.
Speaker 5 (22:53):
Yeah, man, I don't think she understands and knows that
she's not supposed to do that.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
She she thinks she's a part of Yah.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Yeah she does. Yeah, but in a fun way. It
wasn't like disrespectful enough. She's so fun to be around.
She's such a cool person, hilarious.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
So she comes to the green room and she's talking.
I say something.
Speaker 5 (23:13):
She lasts when she laughs, she does that type laugh,
spits all in my face. Oh wow, And now I'm like, yo,
so I got this Mexican on me. I'm about to
get deported. And so now she's in and now she's
in on the joke. So now we do five minutes
of Ice coming to get me. And yeah, she was
so cool about it, man. But yeah, she she's super
Tyler Perry.
Speaker 7 (23:33):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
That's funny. Got shout out to Daisy Man.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
She's a good person, just sometimes she's about extra well.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Talk. Yeah, a good time, but we'll talk.
Speaker 7 (23:44):
Man.
Speaker 5 (23:44):
Shout out to David Jolly Man like, I'm proud of
that kid, bro, like we all are. It was dope
show man.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Good for him, Good for him man and Miguel, you
guys are gonna be at the end prov this entire
week up in Denver.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
We're in Denver, right for the rest of this week.
Nice man, y'all. Definitely y'all in the area.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Go check these brothers out, man, Go do some stuff
with them.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Man.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
But Ken, before you got here, we were talking about petty.
We were talking to petty that we've witnessed comedians do.
And Miguel told a wonderful story about Chappelle being petty
to Dang Cook and after his set things about going
after him. He said, Hey, y'all want to go outside
and take pictures, and everybody left.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
That's petty, yo.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Hey my, my petty is I'm gonna go do a
set before you and bury you that. If we're talking
comedy petty, if it's if it's a comedian, I gonna like, hey, doll,
let me get that guest spot. Yeah, don't say no.
Don't say no either, don't get let me get that
guest spot. That's that's as petty as I get in comedy.
(24:48):
If it comes to booking and stuff like that, I'm
not petty. People who I can't stand, I help them
get booked. I don't want that, true. I don't want that,
Karl Harma. But if I know, I'll mess with you
or you that comic.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Ain't nobody he nobody messing with me.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
Hey man, let let me go. I'm gonna tell you
the I'm gonna tell you the petties. It was me, Jay,
It might be you. It was me, Paedo Lima and
somebody else. I don't know if it was you and Miguel.
And the comedian was from Orlando. Comic went to l
(25:22):
A and came back and without and thought they was
big stuff. And the three of us went before that comedian.
Oh oh, I think that was Miguel.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
I don't think. I don't think that was me.
Speaker 5 (25:33):
And when I tell you we got done. That comedian
was bomba so bad passing the ticket chicken box, we
will passed. Well, it was me because we were telling
the comic go before us, because you know, we the
now I I'm out of okay, all right, yeah, okay, okay,
(25:55):
So yeah that's my petty in comedy.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I'm gonna go before you and bury you. So yeah, yeah, there.
Speaker 5 (26:01):
You go, man, and it and like like like Jeff
did say, sometimes people bring the pettiness on themselves sometimes.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
I've never I'm never petty to somebody who didn't bring
it on himself.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
I'm a forgiven dude. I had.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
I had a guy, you know, I'm gonna mention his name,
but it was a big headliner and his uh his
feature uh kind of submarine me the next and where
where the headliner came up to me and had to
talk with me, and I was like what, and I
realized he had lied and said some things, and he goes, so,
you know you did fifteen before, you're only going to
(26:37):
do five tonight. And I said, hey, listen, you tell
me what you're going to do. And I knew this
dude was following me. So I did the best five
I had and then I did something that you never do,
And I'm going to introduce you to the funniest guy
you've ever heard.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Set him up.
Speaker 4 (26:57):
And handed the bike to him and he gets he's
looking at me like, he gets up, he bombs for
twenty five minutes. Well, the headliner is standing in the
back now and he's a famous dude. And I walked
up to him and he just laughed at me, and
he goes, I got it, man, I'm sorry. I didn't
know what happened. But yeah, yeah, when somebody does something wrong.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Hey, one time, one time a comic am I gonna
say his name Rhyme's with Pumpkin Gray.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Did a joke. I did a joke and I love me.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
It was my joke, and I was like, all right,
and he bombed though he bombed doing the jokes, and
then afterwards he was like, hey, sorry about that.
Speaker 7 (27:38):
Man.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
I just knew that that tag would work right there,
and I said, no, that's cool, that's cool. And the
next time I saw him, we were at the same
room and I was going up before him and I.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Did his set. Oh, I just did it.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
I said, sorry, man, I knew that tag was gonna work.
Speaker 5 (28:05):
Son, Oh my god, that bro. I wish I'd admit
that that would have been.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
It's funny.
Speaker 7 (28:11):
Man.
Speaker 5 (28:11):
Going back to Jeff, Jeff don't seem like a petty
person like that. So I understand Jeff not doing anything
petty could.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
Turn the cheek unless you stick it in my face,
like if you do something wrong to me, and then.
Speaker 5 (28:24):
You yeah, yo, Jeff, with you today, dog, you is
pausing like crazy.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
To be seen in the v HS in the eighties, Hey, yo,
what that what we call fast times? No, I'm a
good I'm a good natured person, but yeah, you really are.
Speaker 5 (28:45):
That's why I'm like, I can't see forgive you, you know.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
But then again, I said, if you if you decide
to gorilla stomp on me afterwards, you know we're gonna
we're gonna turn that switch on and you ain't gonna
like it, and I don't care.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Some people take petty to a new level. Man.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
I remember there was a famous comic at the UH
it was the improper at the time who got beat
up by I guy twice. They put him outside, they
got went to another door, came back and whoop. The
comics had some more like yeah sometime, Patty good dog, Hey,
you beat me up at the comedicy cud, I'm gonna
kill him. I'm gonna kill you, bro like I I'm fifty. Bro,
(29:26):
I ain't trying to be on nobody. TikTok. I ain't
trying to be on nobody. I got beat up, tik tok. Hey, man,
you do somewhere to me. Man, I'm gone, it's gone
murder here. Bro, Just be ready to get murdered. Just
be ready to be murdered, my dude, because when that.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Little kid beat up Cat Williams. Yeah, yeah, you had
to kill that kid.
Speaker 7 (29:46):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
We were like, damn kid, you gotta go now. Yeah, man,
I got to kill you.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
Man, I did, especially if I was like opening for Cat.
I'm like, we can't lose these dates. Talking smack, I
got I gotta handle this.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
I gotta kill you, man, dog do this to you,
but you gotta go. Sorry, I let you go. Baby.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Hey, speaking of God, we gotta go take a break
right now, but y'all don't go in the world. Would
be right back with some more hilarity right here on
Real Last Real Radio one of four point one. Welcome back, everybody.
(30:38):
You are still rocking with Real Labs on Real Radio
one O four point one. I'm your host, mister James John.
We got Miguel Colone. Don't you forget to Junior. You
know it's whose daddy is and our official sponsor from
Coaufman and Lynn personal injury Attorneys, Jeff the Batman Kaufman
and the one the only mister Ken Miller that God
followed Orlando Comedy.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
But today it's Carolina Hurricane, y'all.
Speaker 5 (30:58):
I gotta your love to tomguil Cologne, Senior bro Man
Pops about it. Pops text me, Happy two hundred fifty
first birthday to the United States Army. Pops text, hey,
so me and Pops be texting each other when they
come to military stuff. And he, you know, I posted
it and he texted me to say thank you man.
And you know, I'm I'm you know, I don't know.
(31:19):
I love the Army. You know, Army Army did a
lot for me man, you know. And Jeff shout out
to your baby. Happy two hundred fifty first birthday to
the United States Army. Bro, that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Now, kid, would you be one of those people to
tell people or recommended people.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Hey, man, if you're not sure what to do after
high school, yeh, take to the military.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Oh take it not. No, I tell her, go to
the Air Force. I say, yes, go to the Air Force.
Go to the Air Force.
Speaker 7 (31:44):
No.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
I tell people I've been trying to get my daughter
to go. I'm like, look, you're not doing anything you
can sign up for. You can do two years. Yeah,
but but but you get out.
Speaker 5 (31:54):
You got college money, you got some life experiences. If
you got to go out, if you're a good saving person,
you can put that money away. Because they take care
of everything while you're there. You know what I'm saying, Like, Man,
that nine years really built me as a man. You know,
I tell you my first four years of the military
was college for me.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (32:14):
It was like going to college. It's my freshman year
to my senior all in Fort Wachuka. Because you had
never been nowhere.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
I had never been to. I ain't never been on
no plane.
Speaker 5 (32:21):
Bruh, I done got to go over They don't let
me go over seas at nineteen. They done sent me
to Thailand. They ain't nowhere.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Hell, you should have sent no project kick. I was
over there acting up, bro.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
You was in Moscow.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Bro.
Speaker 5 (32:32):
My Scout was my second So that was my medical
school years. I called that my man school. When I
was working the DC, that's when I was in man.
I was in law school then, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Was in Thailand and she's like, I'm a lady boy.
He's like, hey, call me boy.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I ain't no no better. He one of my homemos.
Like pause, I'm like pausing, even been admitting.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Dog, he don't call me boy, Hey boy, Hey, don't
call me that wows.
Speaker 8 (33:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Man, Now I'm with Jeff.
Speaker 5 (33:11):
Yeah, I will if you're not doing anything, you're just
sitting around, man, I recommend it, you know, two four years.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
And after the four years, Hey, man, I ain't like this.
I'm gone home and go home. You know what my
dad says on the time. It makes me laugh, but
he will. He will always say this.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
He's like, if you don't know what you want to
do with your life, but you have drive, you have dedication.
He's like, and you're a hard worker. He's like, it
behooves you to look at the Army and people will
be like, what about the Marine Corps.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
He's like, Nah, you ain't ready for that.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
He's like, I will say this. I've met a lot
of military people. I've never been in the military, but
I will say the Marine people are different.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Likes It's cool, bro, I will say this, and Jeff
will know that.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
There are units in the Army that are a cult.
Airborne is a cult.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Rangers a cult where it is more than just you're serving,
it is your identity.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
So the entire bridge I can tell you some of
the stuff you do. Units in the Army that are cults,
Like like I you never it's never out of you.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
You're never done with it because you have guys like,
for example, there there's these guys called the Phantom Airborne
Brigade and they're jumpers and there in their sixties and seventies,
and about two years ago they contacted me. They go, hey,
you were the eighty second, why don't you do a
jump with us? And I'm still dumb enough to jump
out of an airplane on my own in my fifties.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
And it's just a mentality that you have, you know.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
So he see Charlie mcado would be like, that's a
good boy right there.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Ken, I can't do it. I ain't no way, no,
I ain't jumping out nothing, bro. I don't even jump
out of my car. Talk about it now, damn.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
You know.
Speaker 4 (35:01):
You know when Jeff's out of his car, like he's
stepping out of the shower just to make sure it
will fall down, you.
Speaker 9 (35:06):
Know, Jeff.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
You know, Jeff did like fifty eleven hundred jumps, and
when he got out of the army, he was like,
something's wrong with my knees, and like, yeah, that's not
service related, that's.
Speaker 5 (35:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's crazy to me when I hear that, Yeah,
you were airporing your knees are shot for a reason.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
No, I don't believe it.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
It's a different life, man, you know, for for us
because the TV jumps. When you see TV, they pulled
the targos down. You land on your feet, You're like,
this is cute. In the military, you land like a
sack of potatoes.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
You hit that boom.
Speaker 4 (35:37):
You know, there's no landing on your feet, you know,
and you're just going, did I not break something this time?
And let's go and move?
Speaker 2 (35:44):
I had.
Speaker 4 (35:44):
I had about forty or fifty where I was like, okay,
I'm okay. And later on I said I made a
deal with God on my last jump when I ain't
doing this no more.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
And then of course I broke my deal with God,
you know, two years ago, and I was like, one,
he gonna get me.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Now They're like, Jeff, you about two inches shorter. What
happened is your knees is up in your femurs.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Now.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
The clinical diagnosis for that it's called paratroopernes.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Unfortunately, though it's not service related. Yeah, I'm just saying,
you wear shoes. Man, get had whooping off and got
full disability.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Man.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
I was like, hey, hey, I've been doing this joke.
Bro and it's been doing great.
Speaker 5 (36:25):
So you know, asking anybody got anybody kids to live
with them, and if it's anybody over thirty, I'd be like, yo,
it's something wrong with them, Broq and it kills But
I say, but Dave, I say, hey, I'm gonna say
with veteran, I.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Could do that. I'm like, I got a packer. I
got a packard in my car. I can drag my
foot if I won't to you use the word placard. Yeah,
I got in my car.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
We were outside of Fort Bragg in uh in North Carolina.
I was doing the show years ago and.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
I was out. In fact, it was with Goldie. I
was booked with Goldie.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
We're outside Fort Bragg and I remember most of the
Fort Bragg, huge army base. That's the SF's base and
stuff like that, and tons and this is like twenty twelve, yep,
twenty twelve, Fort Brag. I'm outside there. Pretty much sixty
percent of his audience is army and this is g
watt Era to these guys, multiple deployments and stuff. I
(37:25):
see a dude, he's got a had on that says
Operation Iraqi Freedom. I said, hey, man, I said, you
were in Operation Iraqi Freedom.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
He says, yeah, man, I said, hey man, my dad
was in Vietnam. He didn't win his either. I said,
I said, hey, bro, something about dudes in pajamas. It's
just hard to beat Wow audience.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
That audience ruugheded, And then I started doing jokes about
Jody and started doing jokes about how if you're gonna
have somebody cheating on your wife while you're deployed, you
want it to be me, cause I'm like, I'm just
a hold of her, baby.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
I can't replace you, I say, And the minute you come.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Back, I'm gonna answer the door and be like, hey man,
you must be staff sergeant Greer player. I've heard so
much about you. I'm like, do do me a favor.
I'm like, kids, guess what Papa's home. I said, hey man,
do me a favorite.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
I'm gonna run.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
I'm gonna grab some of my Xbox games real quick.
I'm gonna take the Toastinos pizza because I play in it.
On that I was like, but she gonna be real
happy to see you. And I said, let me get
you in the house. And when I say let me
get you in the house, I turn around and push
him on a wheelchair inside the house. That ship blew
up the room. I love military audience. Give me a
(38:45):
military audience, Give me police, give me, give me doctor's nurses.
Anybody that lives in.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
The dark world, nothing throws them. They don't get what
do you call it?
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Like, genuinely believe you're saying and you're not coming across fake.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
You're gonna kill it, Jeff. Are lawyers the same way too?
Speaker 2 (39:05):
Though?
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Are lawyers the same way because egos assholes? Yeah, because
you are lawyer, you can say that. Sorry, I've been
on the radio for five years. That's the first time
I did.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you this's gonna be so
much by that by that question.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
But actually, actually you can say it.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
You can't say the physical anatomy part being that, but
you can say a person is that.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I learned that on the Monsters back in the day. Well,
let's not push that limit because I can't want to
say it like you pushed it in so much. Michael
said it was okay yo. Yeah, oh god, I love you.
I wrote it down for our wonderful sound engineer King.
Speaker 4 (39:52):
No attorneys. Attorneys are the worst, man, Really, I hate
I hate being around other lawyers. Really, you don't like
that most well, the this is the reason why most
of them never had to suffer, and they're self important.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
You know the army. You know, once you survived the army,
you got it. You're cool with everything.
Speaker 4 (40:11):
You don't see the world and oh I got a
good It's simply listen, I'm fortunate to be here. Most
attorneys I know, even when they screw up, they can't
take responsibility for it, no accountability, no ability ability. So
I have to do that all the time. Maybe that's
why you know I've gotten where I am in law
and other attorneys too that I seen and Morgan. It's
(40:32):
funny Morgan and Newland come from that same background too.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
You know.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
Morgan was a paper boy and everything else. Dan was
a cop. You know.
Speaker 4 (40:39):
Normally the guys who were in charge of like large
law firms, you know, suffered. They didn't go to like
Harvard and places like that.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
They really worked for it. Yeah, it wasn't a legacy
thing for them.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
That's why I can be friends with certain people and
I can't be friends most of the attorneys I can't
be friends with because they never had to fight for
what they have.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
They don't. They don't see it the same way you do.
Speaker 4 (40:58):
No No's and you're around these guys and they're they're
it's self important. You're just like, you know, Mercedes, and
then whatever they're driving, you just kind of got pound
sand dude.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
I do notice that you don't drive what people would
imagine a lawyer to drive. You don't ever do that, Jeb.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
No, No, I can't because I I remember my old
partner took me to the Mercedes dealership and we got
in this S class and I'm sitting here and they're
showing me the joystick and they're going, this car is
one hundred and twenty thousand dollars. And the guy who's
waiting to get in the car after me, he's got
his bluetooth in and he's yelling at somebody like he's important.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
I go, No, this is the guy who sits in
this It's not me.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
So that's just the way I do it.
Speaker 4 (41:42):
But like the same thing, I'll walk in in my
Jordan's and every tourney I know is in snake skin
and everything else, and I'm like, oh.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Yeah, I'd rather meet snakes Jordan's. Yeah, I got them
here you got him.
Speaker 5 (41:54):
Okay, I'm not mad at that at all. But before
we go, guys, what if episode Man, We're coming to
the very end of the week. All new shows this week.
Where are you guys going to beat this weekend? So
people can come? Definitely jackie out mister Coffin, we will
start with you.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
What do you got going on? Sir?
Speaker 4 (42:11):
I got the Underwroad podcasts and our broadcast show Saturday morning,
but even better than that, Fathersday Night at seven point thirty,
I'm gonna be at the Orlando Pirates game and we
got twenty five seats and if you want to come.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Let me know nice, I'll save you a couple very nice.
Speaker 5 (42:27):
Go support Orlando man O town in the building ken
the Carolina Hurricanes, who won, Sir.
Speaker 1 (42:33):
They've done what they're supposed to do. So where you're
gonna be this weekend so you can celebrate Man? Thursday night,
which is where this show is airing. I'm at Wesley
Chapel Sispitals.
Speaker 5 (42:42):
Show probably go get canceled because I ain't sold two tickets,
But the rest of the weekend, the rest of the weekend,
it's sold out with wig, so I don't even care.
Man Bro, I did a whole PSA. I don't have
you signed arms of the as hey, hey, and so
two tickets damn p even guilty tickets. I couldn't guilt
(43:02):
two tickets, Jeffrey, Hey, but ken them?
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Which shows? Come on? Man, hey, man Pete, look at him?
His wife spent all that money. Already got a bull
in the background. Now, hey, I'm drinking that members Mark Ward,
I'm doing that. You do it all right?
Speaker 5 (43:21):
That's that good water right there, good water right there,
Miguel telling them what.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
You're already there right now? Man, where you're in Denver?
Speaker 2 (43:28):
Improv I get back to ORL on Friday, and then
I've got a show at Secrets with Sean Finnity and
mister Foorrel seven Kevin Dean.
Speaker 5 (43:36):
I asked my wife, can I know because I live,
consent me? She said no, no, tell her.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Look come with you, James show bro.
Speaker 5 (43:44):
It's it's probably my favorite shot done all year, and
I know people she want to go.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
She got the mask on you because he looks and
sees the erections of the.
Speaker 7 (43:56):
James.
Speaker 5 (43:56):
I'm telling you, if if we got to do a
real laugh show, then all of us bring our wives y'all.
It's an amazing like when the comedy club, they're not
naked older that now when you walk out though they're.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Wearing sails, they just d's and bes. Baby when you
walk out, Baby pauls. Yeah, it's like it's like Alps Noos.
Speaker 5 (44:28):
On that note, I will be in Fort Myers at
Snapper's Comedy Club Friday and Saturday.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Y'all come out and check me out. If you want to.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
Let's have a good time. They put some comedy in
your life. All behalf of myself. James John that's Miguel Cologne.
Don't you forget the junior. He knows whose daddy is.
Jeff the Batman Kaufman and Ken Miller aka the Godfather
of Orlando comedy.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
We got to go. We will see y'all next week.
But before we go, kids, tell them.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
What to do.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Take your ass to bed. A shout out to the New.
Speaker 5 (44:55):
York Knicks and the Carolina Hurricanes, New York Jets, y'all
on the clock.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
We out
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