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August 20, 2024 11 mins

First, one of the political figures we hate the most is within arm's reach. Next, Jack asks a question--how do you judge the quality of a hotel? 

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
We have to be a little bit quiet. It's one
more thing.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'm strong, and.

Speaker 3 (00:07):
So we are here in Chicago at the Democratic National Convention,
but there's an interview in being being performed like two
and a half feet from my right shoulder, and so
I'm being kind of quiet.

Speaker 4 (00:18):
It is yet another in the parade of notables who
we have just verbally murdered on the air. Yesterday, Randy
Weingarten was within five feet of us.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Another person we hate right next to us.

Speaker 4 (00:31):
Lori Lightfoot, former mayor of Chicago, her honor, the mayor
almost ruined the city completely. Brandon Johnson has bravely taking
the baton from her and being the people of Chicago
over the head with it.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Oh and during COVID it was ridiculous.

Speaker 4 (00:45):
Oh yeah, yeah, just unforgivable, absolute lap dog of the teachers'
unions that are ruining Chicago schools and the poor little
kids along with it.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Just without even comple depletely straightening out my arm.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
I could tap her on the shoulder and say I
hate you.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
I would be indelicate, but that would be a moment.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
Okay, she walked further away, so no one, I'm in
the clear, Yes, yes, how do you how do you
judge whether or not a hotel is nice or not?
I have very low bar for a hotel being good
enough for me. If I'm by myself, perfectly fine with
like a Super eight, as long as it's not dangerous.
The neighborhood matters more to me than the hotel itself.

(01:30):
As long as it's not dangerous, I don't care. I
just need someplace to sleep. I'm getting back on the
road in the moon. If I'm with my kids, different situation.
If it is a you know, a romantic opportunity, assuming
I'll ever have that, I would be obviously a.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
Different level, right, Katie.

Speaker 4 (01:47):
This is yet another layer of the conundrum, within a riddle,
within an onion, within a something or other that Jack
Armstrong is. He stands next to me, worrying. It's just
a beautiful sport code, I mean, very nice, starched expensive.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Way did you have that shirt made? Tell the truth?
This one might be very cool.

Speaker 4 (02:08):
Jeans and shoes that cost more than my car, but
he stays in fleabag motels.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
I do, and it's proud of it. I don't know
if I'm proud of it, but I do it.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
Well, you have you have stayed it through the years
with unmistakable pride in your voice. Then you will stay
at junkie hotel. Yeah, the chiefest hotel I ever stayed at.
I stayed at a hotel in Montana that was eight
dollars a night. Oh that place was gross. Sorry, just
to clarify, was this in nineteen twenty Did you get

(02:38):
a bath down the hall? Oh? It was?

Speaker 1 (02:41):
It was actually gross.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
Stay.

Speaker 3 (02:42):
I had to share the room with another cowboy. Wow,
it was above a bar. You know, the memories are hazy.
This is back when I still drank. Memories are hazy.
I'm not sure they normally rented out rooms. It might
have been more of a you seem like you need
someplace to stay. There's a mattress in the room. I think, Yeah, anyway,
this is the bathrooms hotel. The mattress was gross. I

(03:04):
like slept on top of the comforter or something I remember.
But anyway, back to how you judge a hotel? How
do you how do you judge a hotel? Whether it's
nice room? Oh boy, A couple of different things are
we talking about specifically in the room or when I
walked in the front door, Like the hotel we're staying
in right now, which I think is pretty nice. Some
other people that are staying at the hotel, one person
said to me, this is a yanky hotel.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
Really, I think it's really nice.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
Really, Yeah, wow, it's It's not a janky hotel at all.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
They travel a lot for business, so maybe they have
I don't know. I don't know, but I don't think
it's yanky doll.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
Wow. Yeah, although it's funny.

Speaker 3 (03:43):
Shortly after I had that conversation, I'm in the I'm
in the bathroom brushing my teeth or washing my hands,
because that's the only thing the person should ever do
in the bathroom. But for some reason, I reach for
the toilet paper roll and the toilet paper dispenser falls apart,
and the toilet roll rolls across the floor, and then
I have to get on my hands and knees and
crawl over and get it right.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
And it was a it was in a state of vulnerability.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
Yeah, was at a point where I must have needed
to blow my nose or something, because I really needed
the toilet paper roll the.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
Only reason you're in there, and it rolled clear over
to the other side.

Speaker 3 (04:12):
So I had to Yes, I had to go get it,
and I thought, this is not cool, like an animal,
This isn't cool. This had This hasn't happened at any
of my Super eights or Motel sixes or any other
numbered hotels. You gotta call the front desk, gentlemen of
your status, that it deserves better than that, better than to.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
Be crawling around like Gollum after the precious trying.

Speaker 3 (04:33):
To get some toilet paper. I'm aggrieved, I'm angered on
your behalf. You know, I'm alone in my room and
nobody's going to see it, so it doesn't really matter.
But I have the toilet paper roll now sitting on
the counter, kind of like college guy, crappy apartment style, right,
because your toilet paper thing's broken it it's years ago.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
Yeah, broke years ago, and you've never fixed it.

Speaker 4 (04:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah, the most man conversation I've heard in a while. Yeah,
I left a role in the ca exactly. You sit
it on the back of the toilet because your thing
doesn't work.

Speaker 4 (05:05):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
You know what's changed is hotels are now back to
the housekeeping staff comes to your room and like does
its thing every day now unless you hang out in
the privacy. Thing kind of got used to the COVID
deal where they would come like on Tuesdays and Fridays
unless you ask them. I've actually found at the more

(05:26):
expensive hotels when I stay at like really nice places,
they don't because they're so into the environmental stuff.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Oh yeah, you have to ask to have them come
do your stuff. They it's an opt in.

Speaker 3 (05:38):
They assume because you care about climate change as much
as them, that you don't want your bed made or
anything like that. I don't need my bed made right,
But for me, that's like the joy of staying in
a nice hotel is that when I come back into
the room, it's perfectly made. I just want my coffee replenished,
and they have replenished. You don't care about the bed
being made. I really like to come into a room.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
I know what you love that? Well, I make my
own bed every day.

Speaker 4 (06:03):
I do it.

Speaker 3 (06:03):
I've blatched onto that philosophy and I I don't. It's
weird and I don't quite get it. It made a
different good thing. It makes a difference. You walk into
your room and your bed is made as supposed you
get home and it's unmade. Just seems like your life's
a mess. Yeah, yeah, it kind of does uh anyway,
what was I gonna say? Oh, one thing about the
environmental thing and the maids coming every day housekeeping staff.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
I didn't want to say maids. Why is that the
meaning in some way that I called.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
My cleaning person a maid in front of somebody and
got yeah, it's you're not supposed to say.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
Okay, So my instincts were, right, clean person, yeah, house cleaner,
house house house, house cleaner. Yes, Arnold Michael, Michael, you
get the staff, tiny drop of the day.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
That was beautiful, congratulations.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
Arnold impregnated his housekeeper.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
Yes, yes, the story he called her a maid. He
wouldn't have gotten that sweet, sweet loving.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
That's right, and make it spicy. Right? Where was I something?

Speaker 4 (07:07):
There was a house keeping the house every day, clean
your something something?

Speaker 2 (07:12):
Oh, that's it.

Speaker 4 (07:14):
Here we are in Chicago, Illinois, and West Coasters and
Hawaiians and and sun Belters and all. There is a
lake so effing big it might as well be the
ocean right over there, and it's never empty ever in
the last five million years.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
So the idea of you've got to conserve water.

Speaker 3 (07:35):
You're looking over there, you're thinking there's an f and
lake as big as an ocean right there.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
There appears to be quite a bit and there is
so nobody cares.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
So I tried to repair my toilet dispenser because I
don't like the toilet roll sitting on the counter in
the hotel room, right and it keeps breaking. It's done
it five times now, and I keep trying. I think
I got it fixed, and then I go to reach
for toilet paper and it breaks.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
And it rolls across. I just keep doing it.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
Yeah, you might get to call engineering.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
You think I should have somebody to come to the room.

Speaker 3 (08:07):
Yeah, yeah, they've well yeah, they probably get like a
storeroom with five thousand of them.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
I'll just screw it into the wall and keep moving.
And if you leave it that way, they're gonna think
you broke it. And nah, there's another charge.

Speaker 3 (08:20):
That's a good point. Oh what in this hotel? Weirdly,
I'd never had a hotel do this before. You know,
you always have to put your card in for incidentals. Yeah,
usually it's fifty seventy five or one hundred dollars. Yeah,
this was seven hundred dollars. They ring up on your
card for incidentals are.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
Like people stealing the entire bed door.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
What are you having a party with sixty guests in
there in ordering room service and charging it all of
the room.

Speaker 4 (08:46):
Is it a hundred dollars eating back to the days
of the Who and lead Zappelin or something. I don't wow,
wrecking the room, it's a little.

Speaker 3 (08:54):
So they'd be happy to charge me one hundred bucks
for my broken toilet paper dispense.

Speaker 4 (08:58):
Yeah, I tell you how I discern whether it's a
good hotel or not.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
No hars in the room. One hair, one hair, and
you've dropped from d at the highest. Oh yeah, yeah, no,
it's I'm out of there as soon as they get right.
That is the number one thing. Very clean hotel we're in,
very clean.

Speaker 3 (09:18):
You go to a Super eight or a Motel six,
you gotta shave the bathroom before you go in it.
Oh lord, oh the well all right, I don't even
want to talk about it much less see it. Sometimes
in case they have lawyers, they probably do, and sometimes
not all the time.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
One particular which has now been torn down.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
I was thinking of a different hotel.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
Yeah, whoops, you meant Motel seven. I did motels seven
through nine. The quality of mattress, also, I think is important.

Speaker 3 (09:53):
If you get on the bed and is a bad
bed already, I'm in bad You know I'm in a
bad mood.

Speaker 4 (09:58):
That's when I throwed a chain through the window. Get
my money's worth. They're putting blue tape on the floor.
I wonder, why what do.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
You suppose that's for.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
I don't know, anybody got a guess why they would
string blue tape all across.

Speaker 4 (10:13):
The It's in front of the MJ statue, the Michael
Jordan statue now the one lady's commenting.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
On the laying of the tape.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
And they've got numbers there, like you're gonna line up
based on your number?

Speaker 1 (10:27):
Like at the airport, who's lining up for?

Speaker 3 (10:29):
What?

Speaker 2 (10:30):
Are they gonna fly a Southwest flight out here for
pictures for who? That's enough?

Speaker 3 (10:34):
We got to clear the speaking of got to clear
it for the next show. You're the picture is going
to be with the station here in beautiful Chicago. Who
was a big enough deal they're gonna get pictures with that?
They have have to have tape on the floor and
numbers going up to seventy to wait in line.

Speaker 2 (10:47):
First name Barack, Well, we need to be here.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
To see it.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, yeah, somebody BIG's coming through. Hanson's checking into it
right now.

Speaker 4 (10:55):
Barry Obama, Barry Obama misses, that's right, Hank.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
I wonder it's going to be Barack Hussain, Michelle Bill
and Hilary Kamala and Tim and Trump is gonna drup.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
I doubt it, Michael, we got to wrap this up. Well,
I guess that's it.
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