Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
What do you mean you can't ride a bike? It's
one more thing. I'm strong Eddy, one more thing before
we get to that. Though. Hanson who sent this to us?
Does this Hanson? Hanson just sent this to me. I
guess this is exciting news from People magazine. All your
(00:23):
best news comes from People Magazine. Alec and Hilaria Baldwin
have announced a reality show featuring all seven of their kids.
We'll be inviting you into our home.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Why in the name of all that is holy would
he do that? Does he really need the money that badly?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
They must catch just a.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Crazy ass lifestyle that burns through their money.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
He doesn't need money. There's no way he needs money
after the thirty rock royalties and all his giant movies.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
How desperate is his need to be famous? He is.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Politically drives me nuts. But he is hilarious. You gotta
pay legal fees. Oh he is gonna go to prison
for murder?
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Maybe, oh yeah he shot somebody?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Oh yeah right, Yeah, he's hilarious when he's hilarious when
he's not shooting people. Yeah. Boys.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
The idea of hey, I've signed the whole family up
for a reality show. I think that that are going
to be caused for like a defense and spousal homicide.
You did what?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
I was watching Glen Gary Glenn Ross the other night,
the movie and Alec Baldwin when he was skinny and
serious and uh, you know, hot young sex symbol guy.
He is so freaking good in that movie. But watching that,
you know, always be closing first prize, New Cadillac, second prize,
set of State Knives, third prize, You're fired. He is
(01:52):
so good in that, but to watch him and think
he's gonna be a fat comedian in a couple of
decades is really interesting.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
Yes, uh, Katie, No, Alec Baldwin for me, I try
to not allow politics to, you know, get in the
way of like entertainment for me. Me too, listening to
him and knowing how he thinks has completely ruined him
for me.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I get zero joy out of Alec.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Ba I come across all the week, I come across
a thirty rock. I can still enjoy him. He is
so funny on that show. There's somebody else like that,
though that Their politics make me so angry. I can't
enjoy them anymore. Bruce Springsteen ruined himself for me. I
just I can't take it. That's a tough one. That's
a tough one.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
One of my favorite bands in the world is Green
Day and the lead singer, Billy Oh I just he
just drives me nuts.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
That might be the perfect one. My youngest loves Green
Day and Jam's Green Day all the time, and all
I can think of him is him saying various things. Whatever,
you idiot.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Yep, great music, Keep your mouth shut.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Alec and Hilario Baldwin. So you got that whole angle
of it that her name is what Hillary? She's from Boston,
but she claims she's She told Alec I think married
her thinking she was Italian or Spanish or whatever.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Hularious slice the how you say, cucumber, you're an American?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I do a lot about that.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yes, is that gonna be? You're prominently in their show.
And then you're right about so not only being in Hollywood.
He doesn't realize I don't want my kid to be
in show business. He's gonna put seven of his kids
in show business basically by being on a reality show.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yeah, that's child's abuse.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
It really is for the money, for the enjoyment, for
the for the for the to keep his name in
the news. That's a good question. I can't imagine why
he's doing it.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
There's been plenty written on the topic of all kids
want to be famous now right, even more than like rich,
They just want to be famous. If there was any
you know, logic, wisdom, sanity in the world, people would
look at fame as the highly unfortunate byproduct of success
(04:07):
in certain fields. It'd be like black lung is for
coal miners. You know, it's it's unfortunate and we'll try
to avoid it, but it could happen in this business.
People don't understand what fame is.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
It's terrible, nothing good.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
No, that would be a great use of AI is
to be able to simulate fame for like a day
and let them live through that to change their.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
What a cool idea.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
So I'll probably watch at least in episode or two
of the Alec Baldwin Hilario Baldwin shown report back. I
wanted to get this on before we call it good.
This is out of Great Britain. I don't know how
similar the numbers would be for Americans. Probably not that
different because our cultures are pretty similar. A quarter of
adults are unable to ride a bicycle well that seem high.
(04:58):
A new survey Reveals pulled twenty our two thousand Brits
and found that twenty four to seven percent, so a
quarter of Brits lacked the skill to ride a bicycle.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
These are all round the slightest idea.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
I was gonna say, these are all the kids that
were on their tablets growing up, right, because they're eighteen
now technically adult.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
You didn't push your kid to ride a bike.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
In my world, of course, growing up, it's it would
be unthinkable if somebody said, no, I can't ride a bike.
I would It would take a minute to comprehend it.
Have you tried. I mean it's not that hard. You
get the hang of it really quickly.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
If there was one person in all of my social
circle that didn't know how to bike ride a bike
in my life, I'd have been surprised one, let alone
a quarter.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
That's how we all got around.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Well, percentage of people can't swim. I got that for
you too, Actually, oh you do well.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I know about you guys.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
But I started with the training wheels, and then there
was a big day when you were getting the training
wheels taken off and dad was pushing the bike behind
you and he let go and then you were taking
off on yourself.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
That's one of my favorite stories with Sam that he
still tells me to this day is as an overprotective parent,
I waited way too long to take his training wheels off, apparently,
and he'd been wanting him off, and I just thought
he wasn't ready for it yet, and I was gonna
I took him off, and I said, Okay, I gotta
go in the house. I gotta get I gotta get this.
I want to get back with my camera. So just
wait for me, because I thought he was gonna have
(06:21):
to run along beside him, and he was going to
fall over a couple of times, and it was gonna
be you know. Anyway, I came back out, he was
just riding all over the neighborhood like crazy.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Jack Armstrong snowplow parent.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yeah, exactly, troubling, exactly.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Take your calls, criticized Jack, Well, he was seventeen.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Yeah, he was heading off into the military, and I thought,
you need to know how to ride a bike. So
among those who can't ride a bike, twenty two percent
expressed a desire to learn, but feel it's too late
to pick up the skill.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Trust me, it's not. If you're bouncing off the pavement
as an adult is a very different experience then when
you're a kid and all your bones bend.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Uh. But you have the desire to ride a bike?
Did you have the desire when you're younger? Then why
didn't you just jump on a bike and ride it?
For crying out? I can't imagine. I've always thought that
a lot of not being able to ride a bike
when you're little is just, you know, you're kind of
wobbly in general when you're little. If you've never been
on a bike and you're fifteen, is there anything keeping
(07:27):
you from just getting on and riding off? Or is
it a skill you have to No?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I would you know how you can like have one
foot on a pedal and one foot down and kind
of scoot. Yeah, just do that and pick your foot
up for a few seconds. Get the feel all right,
you start to go over, put your foot down, now
do that again. The average fifteen year old could learn
how to ride a bike in ten minutes like that.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yeah, that's what I think too. The research also shed
light on other activities that Brits struggle with. Now, some
of these are dumb, only half of a BRIT's can rollerblade.
Well I don't know, so.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
I can't imagine a life without rollerblade.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
You can roller blade, but you can't ride a bike. Uh,
only twenty eight percent of Brits can swim, it says
only twenty eight can Right, they're.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Surrounded by water, it's an island.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Well, I just like I said, I'll bet these numbers
aren't that much different than the United States. Maybe I'm wrong.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
I don't understand how people can't swim.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I don't either.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I think maybe it has to do with the fact
that we all grew up in fairly similar circumstances. I mean,
just broadly similar circumstances in which the culture was your
kid ought to know how to swim. There are urban cultures,
for instance, where that doesn't really exist. Nobody thinks of it.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
But I've seen those horrific videos of people who are
in the process of drowning and then they be saved,
And I've never been able to wrap my mind around
how they can't run spread water, Like, what's the disc
connect there? Right, that's just movement? Yeah, and it's not
and it doesn't even take that much huh huh.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
You know, I complain a lot about the Internet and tech,
but I do appreciate the fact that I can type
what percentage of Americans can swim? And it knows what
I'm trying. Let's see, apparently the Internet has hung out
(09:30):
with me when I'm drunk. It has learned has learned
to decode my slurrings.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Joe's drunk again?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
What aler setage? Veric is dot? You think can swim?
Speaker 5 (09:44):
Man?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
According to our website, oh this is a Red Cross survey,
eighty percent report they can swim. In reality, only fifty
six percent can perform the five basic skills required for
safe swimming.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
What are the five basic skills? Does it list them?
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I would guess it starts with not drowning?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Yeah, keeping your head above water. Seems like we really.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Have to read this and who has the time? No,
the Red Cross can't use my freaking location? What do
you need to know where I am for?
Speaker 4 (10:16):
I go to Google agg and this article says the
six basic needs for sure, Let's left.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
The one out.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Here's your water competency. According to the Red Cross, the
skills performed in a sequence include being able to step
or jump into water over your head, can return to
the surface, and float or tread water for one minute.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
One minute.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yeah, rotate in a full circle and find an exit.
Swim twenty five yards to that exit, and five exit
from the pool. If in a pool, be able to
exit without using the ladder. Okay, okay, that's that's all
legit for for swimming pool safety.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Sure, yeah, yeah, you ought to be able to get out. Uh,
this is back to riding a bike and then we'll
finish on this. Of those unable to ride a bike,
sixteen percent attributed their hesitance to fear of falling off
only sixteen percent. So you're not worried about falling off,
but you have another reason that you can't ride a bike.
The hell would that be? That's odd afraid.
Speaker 6 (11:21):
It will explode. Yeah, I don't afraid I'll ride off
the edge of the earth. Fourteen percent admitted to feeling
too embarrassed to learn as an adult. Half believe they
lack the necessary skills.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Or there's the percentage of them that are from Lochland
and their bike got stolen.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yeah they don't have a well he oh for worry
about embarrassing themselves in the process of learning.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Well, you know what, I have my new calling I'm
going to teach adults how to ride bikes.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
This is my U.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
This is my new purpose in life.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah, you need a name something with P or.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, this is this
is my Bailey Wick right here.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
Teaching adults to ride bikes is gonna be your your thing.
That's on hell of a dream, Joel. You'll ride around
the van and bike shirts and the helmet looking like
a mantis, finding adults who can't ride bikes and saving
them from that situation.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah, I'll have the bike on top of the van
like I'm an exterminator. Yeah, yeah, this is this is
a beautiful I can see your TV ad.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
You're standing there with your hands on your hips and
your bike shorts and your tight bike shirt and your helmet.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Are you and you're afraid to ride a bicycle? Come
down to pedals to glory, yes, wheels something.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
And then the ad ends with you watching an adult
ride off for the first time, in tears streaming down
your cheeks because you're so happy that you taught it.
Yet another adult ride.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
It's a little over the top, but this is the
age of hyperbole, so I think it's uh. This was
Homer Simpson riding a bike. I am in betable, in benable.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
That's the way my motorcycle went the other day. Well,
I guess that's it.