March 12, 2025 • 33 mins
Greg Fitzsimmons in studio, News Headlines, What's the pettiest thing you've done? & More!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
The Woody Show. All right, welcome back. Greg Fitzsimmons is
here his annual Saint Patrick's Day Show, Hollywood Improv disc Saturday.
Tickets are available now to go to ticketweb dot com.
Guys Own podcast, The Fitzdog Radio Podcast, and of course
his latest special You Know Me streaming now on YouTube.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
And it's got four hundred and ninety nine thousand views.
It's forty nine nine hundred. So if you guys, we
need one hundred ship during this show, all right, on
it and give me give me the view.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
All right, Metis, can you put a link on on
social media for that? Absolutely amazing? There you go, that
should get you at least fifty Yeah, Sea best. What
is this game that we have?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Well it dovetails, as they say, right off of all
these Saint Patrick's and Irish talk. Now, Greg, you did
grow up in New York City, but of course you
spend a lot of time in the Boston comedy scene.
You're very familiar with that whole the culture there, right, Yeah,
So I have some like super Southy how any news clips?
And we're going to play how did this clip end?
The intro people talk about stuff that's happening in Boston,
(01:07):
and I'll give him multiple choices about how these townies
this is like Florida man plus Catholic rage and multiple choice.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Yeah and multiple choice. All right, here we go. First clip.
So this is a.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Southee reacting to the Globe. They were asking, Hey, why
doy Balder just got captured? What do you think about that?
Speaker 4 (01:25):
The guys eighty one I figured this time.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
Leave Maloney's going to be dead in a couple of years.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
He wasn't mob stuff, but so well, I mean, as
a as a native of Massachusetts, Yeah, you is it
really Boston? A suburb of Boston? There was co that's
about an hour outside hotel It's Sturbode area, Worcester County. Yep, yep.
(01:51):
Hey do you know Greg Gore? So that's she's obviously
a fan of whities. Yeah, of course, so does she?
Speaker 6 (01:57):
Does?
Speaker 3 (01:57):
She finish this Boston interview by saying one of three
follow options. Okay, my father was and I turned out. Okayangsters.
Of course, everybody's got an occupation. Okay, just goot socks.
Yeah sucks, Greg go first, since he's uh.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
I'm gonna go be because it's it's an occupation.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Because in bossed patient.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
It really is, because you got to remember these guys
like Whitey, they buy the turkeys for everybody at Christmas.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
When Whitey Bulger got arrested, the well he got the
drugs off the street. He replaced him with his own drugs. Sammy,
we'll let you get second.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I'll guess go socks, got socks? All right, Greg Gory,
I think occupation job be patient? All right, I'm gonna say,
uh a, I'll go off everybody. My father was a gangster,
and I think that, Okay, find how to this one ends.
Speaker 7 (02:48):
He wasn't watched.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
But so what everybody's got occupation?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
All right? For people who might not know, how would
you describe as southee? Like what like what kind of
characteristics make up a southee?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Well, they're territorial, they're racists, I mean not anymore now,
Southeast all a bunch of yuppies, just the south shore
of Boston. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
But which, by the way, Sammy takes an exception to
when we say that, you know, Boston's a racist town.
Speaker 8 (03:19):
I'd say I don't think it is.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
It's the most segregated town in the North.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
To be fair.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
She moved away when she was a young teen and
never spent time in like the hardcore like this in
the area.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
That's true. Yeah, the people I knew.
Speaker 7 (03:35):
He's not aware of his reputation.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
I think that if you're white, you just don't go.
It's just so segregated. Like my cop was a my cop,
My uncle was a cop in Mattapan. And so I
went to college in Boston and so uh Harvard and
Boston University. So I took the subway out to go
visit him. He's going to take me home for supper
(04:00):
on a Sunday, you know, that's what they do on Sundays,
you have a supper. And so I took the red
line outside. I think it's like the last stop in Mattapan.
And I got off the train and three cops walked
up to me within thirty seconds, like what.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Are you doing here?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
And I was like fifty. I said, I'm here to
see my uncle. Who's your uncle, uncle Tim Harrington?
Speaker 1 (04:22):
And he goes and they.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Go, oh, come with us, and they walked me to
the police station where my uncle was just finishing up
beating somebody up.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Yeah, wrapping up for the days. It won't leave the mark,
all right. Next clip it's for NBC ten. As we
just mentioned, there is a reputation in Boston for the
Saint Patrick's Day Parade, and some people, including the city
council folks, are not a fan.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
All right.
Speaker 9 (04:46):
City Councilor Ed Flynn, whose district includes South Boston, says
there needs to be a crackdown, including a zero tolerance
policy on public drinking, fighting, and destruction of property.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
But over the last several years, it turned into a
place for people to come to potty for three days.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Potty for three days.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Does he end this with a it's a Marti Graus atmosphere.
B they should be in church or see Grons doesn't
even show up.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I'm gonna say, Marti Gras, it's a pot is He
also by saying it's a potty could also be public urination.
It's a potty to take of course.
Speaker 8 (05:26):
Yeah, I'm gonna go and Gronk doesn't even show up.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yeah, I'm going. See see I'm going. I'm going, Marty Gras.
Speaker 6 (05:33):
I think that was I'm like a general answer Mardi Gras.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Let's find out it's turned into a place for people
to come to partty for three days. It's a Mardi
Gras atmosphere.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Oh sorry, I should have a misphere gra.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
So you take the r out, you put it at
the end of actually exactly what it is. That's how
they got the Boston accent. Yeah. My dad can't even
say my sir's name. He calls her Jenner.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Yeah, I went to the I met this girl on
a bus and uh, I was going from Boston back
to New York and I met this girl. She was
from Boston College and I had a six pack for
the ride and we shared it and then I kissed
her and not even tongue, just like kissed her on
the mouth. But it was like, you know, the green
(06:26):
light was there, sure, and so, uh, the Saint Patrick
gave was coming up. A couple weeks later, I go,
do you want to go to SU's Irish? You want
to go to Saint Patrick's day? So we go down
to Southey and it is Maddy Grar it is. And
the thing is about Southee is everybody keeps their door open,
and you're encouraged to go in and out of everybody's house.
And they've got got beer, they've got food, they got
(06:49):
and so so we walked down and there's firemen on
rooftops just drinking and she's like, this is is you know,
like you see somebody wants and you have one impression
and seeing with the lights on, you're like, yeah, without
the six pack. And she's like, she's like, what if
there's a fire? Like everything she saw was negative.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
So we went in.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
We went into this house and uh, you know, we're
we're eating like some coffee cake and drinking some scotch.
And then I excused myself to go to the bathroom
and I went right out the back door. I left
her in southing with her bad at it.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah, what enjoy is wrong? But you got all right.
Greg Fitzsimmons is here. We're playing a little game. Is
there all all clips from Boston news stories and we
have to try to figure out how they end.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
This is also from the Globe. So Boston, like a
lot of cities, they have a spot saving system. So
when you if you shovel your own you know, with
the snow piles up, shovel that area, it's sure.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
But you have to put a chair out there. In
a chair.
Speaker 7 (07:53):
Well you know what.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
That's what this next clip is going to set us up.
Is people who put different chairs, cones, baby toys or whatever.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Pittsburgh is the same way. Man.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
One of those little jockeys with the lantern, that's it's
very lawn jockey.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
So this is a guy describing that system. And people
who break that system, right.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
What they do is they pull in, they move the corn,
they pack, then they take off and they don't put
your cone or your chair back into the space. So
then you come back from work at four o'clock in
the afternoon after you shovel the day before for three
hours or two hours, and Montal snow and your face
is gone because Joe wyddiot came from the U.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
It came from whatever.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Yeah, so the code blocks us though from refilling. But no,
it shows hey I did this, Yeah let me Yeah,
it's not yours. You didn't do the work layoff. That's like, yeah,
you don't have to pee on it.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
You just put a cone there and you've marked your territory,
so will respect that.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Does this finish with joeydy It came from whatever, probably
New York Option A, Option B, and he doesn't even
own a shovel or Option C.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
It's a wicked Pisso all right, Greg fitzimmons, your guests
give me a again, the probably from New York. I
like that. Yeah, I'm saying that because that's such a
big I mean, there's no love loss between those two cities.
I don't think in New York City you're not shoveling
your own thing.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Else slowly says, and you get on from work at
four o'clock left three.
Speaker 9 (09:20):
Good.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Yeah, working hard, not even job drunk. Yeah, Sammy, what
was the second one? Again? That was they don't even
know it doesn't even own a shovel. That one, he
doesn't even own a shovel. Okay, Greg Gory, Yeah, let's
go with B shovel B New York, New York went Hey,
all right, I'm going New York as well. Let's find
out and.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
His face is gone because Joe whitdiot came from wherever
and he doesn't even own a shovel.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
From wherever, probably New York. That's what I was anticipating,
probably New York. It takes three hours to shovel of
parking I was watching, dude.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
That's that's because what they do with the plows obviously
shove the snow of the side.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
So you've got four or five feet yes, yeah, all right, Well,
Greg Fitzimmons is here. He's got his annual Saint Patrick's
Day Show happening at the Hollywood Improv this Saturday. Tickets
are available now if you go to ticketweb dot com.
He's got his load of special called you Know Me
streaming on YouTube. So close to five hundred thousand views.
I think we're only after that last mentioned ninety nine
(10:24):
and a half away. Come on really yeah yeah, And
he's also got his own podcast, to fitz Dog Radio
Podcast more with Greg Fitzsimmons when we come back here
after the break on the Woody Show. Already show show
(10:50):
coming up here in the next fifteen minutes. We've got
another opportunity for you to get on the guest list
for the Woodies Show After Hours takeover at Disney California
Adventure Park. It's happening on Monday night, April the twenty first.
It's you and four of whoever you want to bring
so you get a total of five spots on the
guest list. Your chance to win. Coming up here in
the next fifteen minutes. Tomorrow is a throwback Thursday. Saint
(11:14):
Patrick's Day is going to be the theme for a
throwback Thursday this week. Yeah, that's actually a good question
for you. So Saint Patty's Day or Saint Patrick Stello
with D's and d's not t Yeah, that's the case.
So not Saint Patty's Day, Saint Patty's Day.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Well, and it really is like I've always felt racially profiled.
It's always the first date of the year that was
filled for me over the years, like every club wants me.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
And then and then when I worked, I was a
producer on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, won four Emmys, and
I would give them all back to have that time
in my life.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
I had an.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
NDA where I couldn't talk about her. And then now
that she fled to England, which to me like the
deportation thing is starting out on the right fold. And
I think she wanted to move to a country England
where being called the sea word is kind of like
a good thing, harsh. Yeah, So I so I'm starting
(12:13):
I'm beginning to talk about it because I think it's okay.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I didn't know love it.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I'll tell you this story though, when I when it
was Saint Patrick's Day, they would come to me and
they would make me do this bit with her where
they got me a Leprechaun outfit. Okay, I'm a grown man,
and I got me a Leprecaunt outfit.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
And we would do this thing.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Where I would go out on the stage and I
had a pot of gold coins.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
And I would run around throwing them and she would
chase me. That was the old open to the show. Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
So and it was one of those things where like
I just had to do it, like they made me
do it. And so I come out one year and
I got on the tights and the pointy shoes like
a little hat, and I walk out and I sit
down in a director's chair backstage waiting for the cold
open to start. And then the lead guest of the
(13:09):
show walks out and sits down next to me. And
it's Angelina Joel, who is my hall pass.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Okay, my wife doesn't know it, but she's my hall
This is the perfect opportunity. You're looking your best is.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
She sits down and she looks at me and she
bursts out laughter, and then the music starts, and then
I got to run out, and you got to see
this crown on my face. You can look it up
on YouTube. It's I think it's up on YouTube, and
(13:43):
it was. It was the worst experience of my life.
That's my Kate Beconsale story.
Speaker 6 (13:48):
Oh true, that kind of got ruined.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I got invited. We got invited to the when Hamilton
came to town, and we got invited to like this
special performance of it. And so my wife's really big
into theater stuff in Hamilton. So we go and intermission.
I bored to death. I'm sitting there. I just want
to go because I got to work the next morning.
I'm super tired. And my wife goes, I know you
(14:11):
want to leave, and I'm fine with that, but before
you go, your it girl is literally right behind you.
I'm surprised you can't feel the heat off of her
right now. It was Kate Beckinsale, which is like my
hall pass right well at the time, she she's since
been like you know the Yeah, very nutty anyway, still
(14:32):
very very beautiful woman. Anyway, So turn around and my
wife goes, excuse me, miss Beckinsale. Ah, hi, she introduces herself,
introduces me. She goes, my husband loves you that. I'm like,
I wanted to die. I wanted to die. And she
was very sweet and she was very nice like Angelia
and Joe Lee, but like man, but like two opportunities
to like, you know, not that we had a chance.
(14:55):
I don't know chance Yeah right, you know I mean Greg, Yeah,
you could have been with Angelia and Jolio Agains at
least for the one night with the Hall pass.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
My my friend has the Hall pass, Joe David Feldman
is this great comedian nobody's ever heard of. And he's like,
he's like, you know, uh, me and my wife had
hall passes and mine was h Jennifer Anna Stan and
my wife's was Brad Pitt. And then recently I said
to her, it's been a long time. Do you think
we should like re up? Oh yeah, And so she goes,
(15:23):
all right, I'm gonna go with Timothy Shammel shallow May
and Shallo May.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Ye Shalli May. And he goes all right, I'm gonna
go with the babysitter. H Yeah. Smart, yeah, yeah it
work smarter, not harder. Yeah, work the numbers. Yeah, funds
are open eight seven. Greg fitz Simmons is here, all right,
(15:51):
Welcome back everybody. Yeah. Greg Fitzsimmons is here. You can
check him out Instagram at Greg Fitzsimmons, Twitter, Greg fitz
Show and yeah that's gotta be you gotta like figure
out the way they got to buy out whoever, which
one do you want? Do you want the Greg Fitzsimmons
or Greg fitz Show's from all uniform?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
I want to medicine, people, Do I want everything to
be fitz Dog fit dog.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Put him on a link tree medicine. Figure that out. Yeah,
I used to master at all this really. Yeah. That
way you can just like give one thing like Greg
Fitzimmons dot com and then on social media find me
at Fitzdog.
Speaker 7 (16:25):
I did have Whitney Cummings because she had her initial
in the middle of her user. Yeah, like what are
you doing?
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Huh? How do you fix? You gotta know somebody. You're
from the East coast or from the northeast, you know somebody? Yeah,
you gotta guy.
Speaker 7 (16:40):
We got the benefit of originally being from San Francisco. Like,
guess where everything starts? Yeah, somebody that works there.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Yeah, he's got a guy used to be the janitor
at x or Twitter, and now the guy runs the place.
He's like right in your yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We
got one more, one more clip. This is we're talking
about the well, we were playing the clip from the
Boston News to worries and then trying to guess via
multiple choice how the story ends.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Here we go, I'm expecting to see what I seen
on a Sunday early Sunday morning.
Speaker 10 (17:09):
Lisa Vieira says a friend of yours was walking down
mass app with his Beyonce around seven thirty Sunday morning.
Speaker 8 (17:15):
That's when a man driving by insulted the woman from
his car.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
And all of a sudden, he's seen the car, so
he's running down here.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Why are they getting a fight? Oh, a guy was
driving by insulted my girlfriend mass ab No less, that'll
do it, all right, So the options are and then
A he got stabbed, b and then I seen another
car or see he go.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Socks, uh break, fitz Simmons, it's obviously a stabbing. I
mean he assaulted the girlfriend. Okay, it can't just end.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Next logical step well, yeah, I mean it's like they
it's they're in a rush in Boston. There can't be
an argument first, it's just you go straight to seven.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Sunday on the way to check. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Yeah, Father Murphy was breaching out ready up in the paw.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
It just means black people. So I left. How'd you
get your girlfriend? All right? So you're going stabbing? Yeah,
it's a stabbing, all right, Boston or Massachusetts native Sammy Marina,
what's your guess.
Speaker 7 (18:30):
I'm gonna go with.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Then I seen another car, Then I seen another Then
I seen another car. Scene menace. We finally have to
have ghost socks. I'm going to be.
Speaker 10 (18:42):
Amazing, all right, Gina, I think another car pulls up.
For sure, I seen another car.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I've seen another car. I might have hit the person
or something.
Speaker 6 (18:49):
I'm going to defer to Greg and say stabbing as well,
because it's in the news. I don't think it would
be in the news if it was just a cat call.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Keep in mind, I know this is real life and
these are real people in real consequences. But however, inside
I'm kind of hoping for the stabbing because it's a
much better story. It's like a cartoon character. We could
get you, right and got like when was this? I mean,
like how long? I'm sure this was years ago?
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Right, Like, oh yeah, it's all water under the bridge,
all right.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Water, it's all water waters fill.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
That's not plus time people, all right? Uh, yeah, I'll
go with the I'll go along with you, Greg too.
Gregg's right, let's ends.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
And all of a sudden he's seen the car, so
we said, running down here. Next thing you know, he
got stab.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
The best is the guy didn't even leave the car,
chase after.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
You in your car.
Speaker 8 (19:50):
That's a man's.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Mellow recounting it.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
You know, all of a sudden he's seen the car,
so we said, running down here. Next you know he got.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
I went to Star Market and got a you know,
a roast. I went to dunk and got Boston Cream.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
So I had to break up with him because he's
all stabbed, no disrespect.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
That's a fun game. I like that game.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Game.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Well, Greg Fitzsimmons, make sure you go check out his
special his latest specials called you Know Me, streaming on YouTube,
Saint Patrick's Day Show at the Hollywood Improv this Saturday.
Tickets available at ticketweb dot com. Check out and follow
his uh fits Dog radio podcast What else did we miss?
I mean, what else? What else? It's the national We're going.
We're everywhere everywhere.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Improv and that's that's great. I mean, I appreciate all
the loves of course.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Man. Yeah, well We love spending time with you. Yeah,
it's it's fun. It is you know, we get to
have a good time and you know, just just chop
it up together. But you get to look at Gina, right,
we look, we love you man, Thank you so much
for coming in, and thank you so much for being
I mean, look at that punctual on top. Would we
get the most?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Greg, I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do.
I'm usually not up for another hour. All right, more
what he shows next? Hang up, He'll be right back.
Speaker 6 (21:15):
Meanwhile, Sea Mass will continue his endless search for the
perfect weeg hair flex.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Sorry, I mean hair system. Get its fall. It's not
my scalp. I have light brown hair with bald highlights.
What do you We'll reserve. And Gina gret is right there, right,
she's got your news headlines.
Speaker 8 (21:35):
Well it's the end of an era.
Speaker 10 (21:36):
Southwest just buckled and announced they'll start charging for check bags.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
No knew that was happening.
Speaker 8 (21:42):
Yeah, it was on the horizon.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Yeah, the minute they started doing like the uh the
assigned seating thing and announce that they were going to
be offering certain rows for an additional price with more
leg room and red eyes that they were doing all
this other stuff to increase revenue, right, and so you
just knew it was a matter of time. The one
thing is that that was kind of their thing, right,
It was like no Ali cards. But you know what
else is their thing and their stockholders thing money. Yeah,
(22:06):
they do like it, they like it. Yeah, they were
the last Yeah, they.
Speaker 10 (22:09):
Were the last major airline in the US that didn't
do that stuff. The Boston Globe ran the story as
an obituary. So starting May twenty eighth, you won't even
get one bag on Southwest. They haven't said how much
they're charging it, but we know other airlines tack on
around thirty five bucks for your first bag, more for
the second bag.
Speaker 8 (22:27):
And they're still hooking up their loyal customers.
Speaker 10 (22:30):
So frequent flyers and business class passengers they'll still get
bags free.
Speaker 8 (22:34):
But everybody else we're paying.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Oh it's sweet like everybody else. Yeah, Southwest is not
the low cost carrier like it was. No, it's not
Spirit Frontier, it's not Allegiant.
Speaker 6 (22:46):
Now, when are they doing the assigned seating thing this year?
Bring it on.
Speaker 10 (22:51):
It's like, yeah, do that, but also stick a TV
in the headrest. It's like, if you're doing all these
other upgrades, let's really go for it and.
Speaker 6 (22:58):
Get rid of the little you would see heart logo things.
Oh yeah, wow, it doesn't like the hearts very I
love the friendliness of them. You guys hate that. The
kookie quirky songs. I love that.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah, I love it too, all the jokes.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
But the rest is annoying. Yeah, the non assigned seating.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Seating on Southwest start okay, second half of twenty twenty
five are basically the end book. Oh, they're offering booking
for assigned and premium seating in the second half of
twenty twenty five. Expected to begin operating with the assigned
and premium seating in twenty twenty six.
Speaker 8 (23:36):
Yeah, just to get you used to it.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Yeah, you got easy.
Speaker 7 (23:40):
They were going to crack down on preboarding too. I'm
still running into that.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
It's like one hundred people in wheelchairs, but weird family
when they get off the plane. Yeah, people need wheelchairs.
It's a miracle.
Speaker 7 (23:52):
I know, it's amazing, Like, yeah, the one person and
then like six family members on the preboard power. I mean,
when you get this sign seating, I guess it's not
gonna matter anymore.
Speaker 8 (24:03):
Yeah, has anyone seen the new Southwest planes?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Have you been on them?
Speaker 8 (24:06):
They're amazing.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Wow, because I had a layover and so I went
from one of their oldest planes to one of their
newest planes.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
And they're so nice.
Speaker 8 (24:14):
They have all these outlets and stuff. They have lighting
that goes all the way across. It's like mood lighting almost.
It's so nice and so cool. That sounds like the
old Virgin Airlines. But they're kind of modern.
Speaker 7 (24:25):
But going back to what you were saying, TVs, no TVs.
Speaker 8 (24:29):
We got to get those TVs in the head rest.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Yeah, still no TVs, but like most people are just
watching on their falling into their tablet.
Speaker 10 (24:34):
Because if I I always bring it and I'm ready,
but I'm like, ooh the sirens song of the headrest TV.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
I'd much rather do that. Yeah, but it'll cut cost,
you know, not by not having that right, So I
don't think. I don't think they're jumping to offer it
because they'll say, oh, well you can just watch on
your on your divide, but then you have to pay
for Wi Fi.
Speaker 8 (24:50):
Yeah stuff.
Speaker 6 (24:52):
Not in Southwest. You can do the free stuff, the
free TV and movies selection commercial.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah, you know they don't pay to watch the stuff
if it's on your tablet. It's only if you want
to start browsing the internet or doing the other stuff.
Speaker 6 (25:04):
The entertainment is good.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Well.
Speaker 10 (25:06):
Investigators gave an update yesterday on that mid air collision
that happened in January, you know, with the American Airlines
plane in the Army helicopter in DC. So the NTSB,
that's the National Transportation Safety Board, they called for immediate
changes and said that the current helicopter routes around the
busy airport pose an intolerable risk to aviation safety. So
the NTSB recommended that the FAA permanently banned helicopter flights
(25:30):
near the airport only when two specific runways are in use,
and that was immediately announced that would be the new rule.
Like they're not even they're not even consulting. It's just
we can't do that again.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Smart. Yeah, by do you see the since we're on
the topic of flying and stuff like that, this flight
from Air India, Oh yeah, so it is an Air
India flight from Chicago to New Delhi. Yeah, they had
to force them to turn around and go back to
Chicago several hours into the flight because multiple bathrooms. Eight
(26:02):
out of the twelve toilets on the plane were broken
and clogged. Who now, you might be wondering, menace. Yeah, yeah,
how guys, how might happen? And what were they clogged with? Well,
it turns out the animals on board were flushing clothes,
plastic bags, rags, and other things down the toilets and
it totally messed up because they're idiots.
Speaker 10 (26:24):
But how does everyone on the same plane do that?
A spokesperson yeah for Air India told reporters this is
not the first time something like this has happened on
their airline. It happens far more often than you think
on Air India flights. And they said it's things like, quote,
blankets in I guess underwear, they said, innerwear, some guys
that underwear, Yeah, diapers and a number of other things
(26:47):
that normal people would never think to even try to flush.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Blankets, blankets like I've seen I've seen videos of India
not the cleanest place, So I don't know what happens
over there. What people, You've never been on a plane,
you've never used to toilet, does not everybody? Some of
these people are pooping off trains and stuff like that. Houses.
So this this flight that just turned around went back
(27:12):
to Chicago. It was in the air for ten hours
and went nowhere, so they absolute So they left Chicago,
got five hours out, turned around over like Greenland or something,
and then came back to Chicago. Good. Yeah, yeah, exactly,
who cares?
Speaker 8 (27:28):
Yeah, you live there now.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Yeah. And then there was this other one where this
flight to Miami had to turn around go back to
the airport because one of the passengers attacked a flight attendant.
He also kicked and punched the seat of the person
in front of him, swallowed some rosary beads. He was
traveling with his sister, who said that her brother had
told her to quote close her eyes and pray because
(27:50):
Satan's disciples had followed them onto the plane. All right, cool, do.
Speaker 8 (27:53):
We need to start doing psychic ls before we get
on planes?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
The plane landed, he charred towards the exit, he threw
punches at a different flight attendant, and that's when finally
some passengers jumped in and restrain this guy until the
cops got there.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
He was taken into the county jail, but a quick
stop at the hospital first to see what they could
do about the rosary beads that he swallowed.
Speaker 6 (28:12):
I think what we have to do is, you know
how they can do measure air like air quality. They
need to measure the air in public restrooms and in
airplanes because people here at work, for example, in the
men's room lose their minds. Your total animals, they act
like they would never act, but it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
So we're breathing the same air. So how do you
test for that.
Speaker 6 (28:32):
Something is happening? And then in planes people lose their mind.
You could you could unfreeze a caveman from ten million
years ago and he wouldn't flush stuff.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Down the tilet But I really want to know that's okay,
So let's just say, like you that you were talking about,
like we're mentioning how like a lot of outhouses and
things like that, and people live in certain parts of
India whatever. Okay, you somehow got to Chicago. Yeah right,
you spent more than so you've been on a plane
and he saw these normal world. Yeah, I'm sure you
have used the toilet since you were visiting Chicago.
Speaker 5 (29:04):
You know.
Speaker 7 (29:07):
Why, dude? So this unlocked and memory we talked about
it on the show. I don't know how many years ago,
but India had a campaign called Poop to the lou
where it was trying to get They made a music
video and a song to it to get people from
stopping and pooping in the streets because it.
Speaker 10 (29:26):
Was just like cool, insane to skip to Malu.
Speaker 7 (29:30):
Yeah, poo to Yeah, look get up poop to Malu
India government campaign.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
But also, okay, so I don't want to really travel internationally.
But even let's say I had to come up with
a list of one hundred countries, right, I think India
would be pretty far down there.
Speaker 7 (29:51):
Well, there's such a divide in wealth in India and areas. Yeah,
so you'll go to really really nice places India.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Well, I don't like food that only curry. Curry disagrees
with me big time.
Speaker 8 (30:02):
But they have more than curry.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
No understand, Yeah, you don't have to have the curry.
I don't think my neighbors know that there are great people,
but men, I swear it's like every day i'm outside,
it's like up curry again. It's like growing up my
mother every night was chicken. Yeah right, yeah, up, I
agree again.
Speaker 7 (30:19):
Yeah, but it will just be like you'll go to
really nice areas and then some areas are just straight
up slum.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Nope, you know.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Yeah. So let's say I've seen slum dog millionaire dog, yeah, you.
Speaker 7 (30:29):
Know, or like a lot of people that they if
let's say you visit Jamaica, right and you get off,
Let's say you're taking a cruise, you get off the
cruise boat and you're like, oh, I'm gonna go hang
out at a resort for the day. Really nice area,
but you're gonna have to go through a really really
bad area yeah to get there first. Yeah, And it's
just you know, that's how it is some places, especially India.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Yeah. Well.
Speaker 10 (30:52):
A woman says that Odell Beckham Junior was one of
many men who assaulted her along with Diddy back in
twenty eighteen, but both Diddy and Beckham.
Speaker 8 (31:00):
Say that this is total crap.
Speaker 10 (31:02):
At first, the woman said that Ditty and several john
Does brutally assaulted her at her home after she made
a comment about Tupac's murder during a FaceTime call of Ditty,
But in another version of the complaint, she says that
the john Does were Odell and streamer and comedian Drewski,
and she alleges that after did he held a knife
to her face, covered her with lubricant, and assaulted her
with a TV remote. Drewski jumped on top of her
(31:22):
and knocked the wind out of her and treated her
body like a slip and slide. She says Odell participated too,
but he has released a statement saying that he's confident
that these ridiculous claims will be dismissed.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Well, there's that Le'Veon Bell story. Oh yeah, former Steeler
running back Le'Veon Bell and then went on to the Jets,
I think, yeah and yeah, So like a horrible story.
He and his brother are being accused by his cousin,
his first cousin, of sexually assaulting her, raping her whatever,
from when she was like a little kid, all the
way up until like twenty seventeen. And she filed a
(31:55):
lawsuit which I guess they didn't respond to. So there
was a default judgment, yeah, against him for twenty five
million dollars because he never responded to the lawsuit. So
it's like some kind of violation of the Fifth Amendment whatever.
Speaker 8 (32:06):
And it's brother for eleven million.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Yeah, the brother for eleven million. So I guess they
have an opportunity to kind of go back on it
and stuff. But like, dude, why does everybody want to
be diddy? Yeah, I'm not saying you did it. By
the way, it seems like he just didn't respond to
the the lassuit. Who who knows that you could just
not respond? Eight seven seven forty four Woody, we look
help people with food poisoning field because it has a
head wood shoe. All right, Well that's it for Wednesday.
(32:32):
All right, full show podcast everything from this morning. Also
the Highlights podcast fifteen to thirty minutes of our favorite
crep from today's show that's on your favorite podcast platform.
Also by going to the Woodieshow dot com check that
out subscribe to our podcast, would you please? That'd be great. Also,
we've got for you another chance to sign up and
(32:53):
win for the Woody Show After Hours takeover Disney California
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a guest hotel, well tickets to our takeover and more.
Sign up right now just by going to the Woodyshow
dot Com. Back tomorrow with a whole new show. But
in the meantime, if there's anything you want to tell
us about, leave it for us on the after Hours
voicemail that numbers eight, seven, seven, forty four Woodie or
(33:15):
you can find us, follow us on social media. Mets
with love that do it at the Woody Show
The Woody Show. All right, welcome back. Greg Fitzsimmons is
here his annual Saint Patrick's Day Show, Hollywood Improv disc Saturday.
Tickets are available now to go to ticketweb dot com.
Guys Own podcast, The Fitzdog Radio Podcast, and of course
his latest special You Know Me streaming now on YouTube.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
And it's got four hundred and ninety nine thousand views.
It's forty nine nine hundred. So if you guys, we
need one hundred ship during this show, all right, on
it and give me give me the view.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
All right, Metis, can you put a link on on
social media for that? Absolutely amazing? There you go, that
should get you at least fifty Yeah, Sea best. What
is this game that we have?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Well it dovetails, as they say, right off of all
these Saint Patrick's and Irish talk. Now, Greg, you did
grow up in New York City, but of course you
spend a lot of time in the Boston comedy scene.
You're very familiar with that whole the culture there, right, Yeah,
So I have some like super Southy how any news clips?
And we're going to play how did this clip end?
The intro people talk about stuff that's happening in Boston,
(01:07):
and I'll give him multiple choices about how these townies
this is like Florida man plus Catholic rage and multiple choice.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Yeah and multiple choice. All right, here we go. First clip.
So this is a.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Southee reacting to the Globe. They were asking, Hey, why
doy Balder just got captured? What do you think about that?
Speaker 4 (01:25):
The guys eighty one I figured this time.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
Leave Maloney's going to be dead in a couple of years.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
He wasn't mob stuff, but so well, I mean, as
a as a native of Massachusetts, Yeah, you is it
really Boston? A suburb of Boston? There was co that's
about an hour outside hotel It's Sturbode area, Worcester County. Yep, yep.
(01:51):
Hey do you know Greg Gore? So that's she's obviously
a fan of whities. Yeah, of course, so does she?
Speaker 6 (01:57):
Does?
Speaker 3 (01:57):
She finish this Boston interview by saying one of three
follow options. Okay, my father was and I turned out. Okayangsters.
Of course, everybody's got an occupation. Okay, just goot socks.
Yeah sucks, Greg go first, since he's uh.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
I'm gonna go be because it's it's an occupation.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Because in bossed patient.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
It really is, because you got to remember these guys
like Whitey, they buy the turkeys for everybody at Christmas.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
When Whitey Bulger got arrested, the well he got the
drugs off the street. He replaced him with his own drugs. Sammy,
we'll let you get second.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I'll guess go socks, got socks? All right, Greg Gory,
I think occupation job be patient? All right, I'm gonna say,
uh a, I'll go off everybody. My father was a gangster,
and I think that, Okay, find how to this one ends.
Speaker 7 (02:48):
He wasn't watched.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
But so what everybody's got occupation?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
All right? For people who might not know, how would
you describe as southee? Like what like what kind of
characteristics make up a southee?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Well, they're territorial, they're racists, I mean not anymore now,
Southeast all a bunch of yuppies, just the south shore
of Boston. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
But which, by the way, Sammy takes an exception to
when we say that, you know, Boston's a racist town.
Speaker 8 (03:19):
I'd say I don't think it is.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
It's the most segregated town in the North.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
To be fair.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
She moved away when she was a young teen and
never spent time in like the hardcore like this in
the area.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
That's true. Yeah, the people I knew.
Speaker 7 (03:35):
He's not aware of his reputation.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
I think that if you're white, you just don't go.
It's just so segregated. Like my cop was a my cop,
My uncle was a cop in Mattapan. And so I
went to college in Boston and so uh Harvard and
Boston University. So I took the subway out to go
visit him. He's going to take me home for supper
(04:00):
on a Sunday, you know, that's what they do on Sundays,
you have a supper. And so I took the red
line outside. I think it's like the last stop in Mattapan.
And I got off the train and three cops walked
up to me within thirty seconds, like what.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Are you doing here?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
And I was like fifty. I said, I'm here to
see my uncle. Who's your uncle, uncle Tim Harrington?
Speaker 1 (04:22):
And he goes and they.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Go, oh, come with us, and they walked me to
the police station where my uncle was just finishing up
beating somebody up.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Yeah, wrapping up for the days. It won't leave the mark,
all right. Next clip it's for NBC ten. As we
just mentioned, there is a reputation in Boston for the
Saint Patrick's Day Parade, and some people, including the city
council folks, are not a fan.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
All right.
Speaker 9 (04:46):
City Councilor Ed Flynn, whose district includes South Boston, says
there needs to be a crackdown, including a zero tolerance
policy on public drinking, fighting, and destruction of property.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
But over the last several years, it turned into a
place for people to come to potty for three days.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Potty for three days.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Does he end this with a it's a Marti Graus atmosphere.
B they should be in church or see Grons doesn't
even show up.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I'm gonna say, Marti Gras, it's a pot is He
also by saying it's a potty could also be public urination.
It's a potty to take of course.
Speaker 8 (05:26):
Yeah, I'm gonna go and Gronk doesn't even show up.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yeah, I'm going. See see I'm going. I'm going, Marty Gras.
Speaker 6 (05:33):
I think that was I'm like a general answer Mardi Gras.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Let's find out it's turned into a place for people
to come to partty for three days. It's a Mardi
Gras atmosphere.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Oh sorry, I should have a misphere gra.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
So you take the r out, you put it at
the end of actually exactly what it is. That's how
they got the Boston accent. Yeah. My dad can't even
say my sir's name. He calls her Jenner.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Yeah, I went to the I met this girl on
a bus and uh, I was going from Boston back
to New York and I met this girl. She was
from Boston College and I had a six pack for
the ride and we shared it and then I kissed
her and not even tongue, just like kissed her on
the mouth. But it was like, you know, the green
(06:26):
light was there, sure, and so, uh, the Saint Patrick
gave was coming up. A couple weeks later, I go,
do you want to go to SU's Irish? You want
to go to Saint Patrick's day? So we go down
to Southey and it is Maddy Grar it is. And
the thing is about Southee is everybody keeps their door open,
and you're encouraged to go in and out of everybody's house.
And they've got got beer, they've got food, they got
(06:49):
and so so we walked down and there's firemen on
rooftops just drinking and she's like, this is is you know,
like you see somebody wants and you have one impression
and seeing with the lights on, you're like, yeah, without
the six pack. And she's like, she's like, what if
there's a fire? Like everything she saw was negative.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
So we went in.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
We went into this house and uh, you know, we're
we're eating like some coffee cake and drinking some scotch.
And then I excused myself to go to the bathroom
and I went right out the back door. I left
her in southing with her bad at it.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah, what enjoy is wrong? But you got all right.
Greg Fitzsimmons is here. We're playing a little game. Is
there all all clips from Boston news stories and we
have to try to figure out how they end.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
This is also from the Globe. So Boston, like a
lot of cities, they have a spot saving system. So
when you if you shovel your own you know, with
the snow piles up, shovel that area, it's sure.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
But you have to put a chair out there. In
a chair.
Speaker 7 (07:53):
Well you know what.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
That's what this next clip is going to set us up.
Is people who put different chairs, cones, baby toys or whatever.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Pittsburgh is the same way. Man.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
One of those little jockeys with the lantern, that's it's
very lawn jockey.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
So this is a guy describing that system. And people
who break that system, right.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
What they do is they pull in, they move the corn,
they pack, then they take off and they don't put
your cone or your chair back into the space. So
then you come back from work at four o'clock in
the afternoon after you shovel the day before for three
hours or two hours, and Montal snow and your face
is gone because Joe wyddiot came from the U.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
It came from whatever.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Yeah, so the code blocks us though from refilling. But no,
it shows hey I did this, Yeah let me Yeah,
it's not yours. You didn't do the work layoff. That's like, yeah,
you don't have to pee on it.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
You just put a cone there and you've marked your territory,
so will respect that.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Does this finish with joeydy It came from whatever, probably
New York Option A, Option B, and he doesn't even
own a shovel or Option C.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
It's a wicked Pisso all right, Greg fitzimmons, your guests
give me a again, the probably from New York. I
like that. Yeah, I'm saying that because that's such a
big I mean, there's no love loss between those two cities.
I don't think in New York City you're not shoveling
your own thing.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Else slowly says, and you get on from work at
four o'clock left three.
Speaker 9 (09:20):
Good.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Yeah, working hard, not even job drunk. Yeah, Sammy, what
was the second one? Again? That was they don't even
know it doesn't even own a shovel. That one, he
doesn't even own a shovel. Okay, Greg Gory, Yeah, let's
go with B shovel B New York, New York went Hey,
all right, I'm going New York as well. Let's find
out and.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
His face is gone because Joe whitdiot came from wherever
and he doesn't even own a shovel.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
From wherever, probably New York. That's what I was anticipating,
probably New York. It takes three hours to shovel of
parking I was watching, dude.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
That's that's because what they do with the plows obviously
shove the snow of the side.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
So you've got four or five feet yes, yeah, all right, Well,
Greg Fitzimmons is here. He's got his annual Saint Patrick's
Day Show happening at the Hollywood Improv this Saturday. Tickets
are available now if you go to ticketweb dot com.
He's got his load of special called you Know Me
streaming on YouTube. So close to five hundred thousand views.
I think we're only after that last mentioned ninety nine
(10:24):
and a half away. Come on really yeah yeah, And
he's also got his own podcast, to fitz Dog Radio
Podcast more with Greg Fitzsimmons when we come back here
after the break on the Woody Show. Already show show
(10:50):
coming up here in the next fifteen minutes. We've got
another opportunity for you to get on the guest list
for the Woodies Show After Hours takeover at Disney California
Adventure Park. It's happening on Monday night, April the twenty first.
It's you and four of whoever you want to bring
so you get a total of five spots on the
guest list. Your chance to win. Coming up here in
the next fifteen minutes. Tomorrow is a throwback Thursday. Saint
(11:14):
Patrick's Day is going to be the theme for a
throwback Thursday this week. Yeah, that's actually a good question
for you. So Saint Patty's Day or Saint Patrick Stello
with D's and d's not t Yeah, that's the case.
So not Saint Patty's Day, Saint Patty's Day.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Well, and it really is like I've always felt racially profiled.
It's always the first date of the year that was
filled for me over the years, like every club wants me.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
And then and then when I worked, I was a
producer on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, won four Emmys, and
I would give them all back to have that time
in my life.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
I had an.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
NDA where I couldn't talk about her. And then now
that she fled to England, which to me like the
deportation thing is starting out on the right fold. And
I think she wanted to move to a country England
where being called the sea word is kind of like
a good thing, harsh. Yeah, So I so I'm starting
(12:13):
I'm beginning to talk about it because I think it's okay.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I didn't know love it.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I'll tell you this story though, when I when it
was Saint Patrick's Day, they would come to me and
they would make me do this bit with her where
they got me a Leprechaun outfit. Okay, I'm a grown man,
and I got me a Leprecaunt outfit.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
And we would do this thing.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Where I would go out on the stage and I
had a pot of gold coins.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
And I would run around throwing them and she would
chase me. That was the old open to the show. Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
So and it was one of those things where like
I just had to do it, like they made me
do it. And so I come out one year and
I got on the tights and the pointy shoes like
a little hat, and I walk out and I sit
down in a director's chair backstage waiting for the cold
open to start. And then the lead guest of the
(13:09):
show walks out and sits down next to me. And
it's Angelina Joel, who is my hall pass.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Okay, my wife doesn't know it, but she's my hall
This is the perfect opportunity. You're looking your best is.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
She sits down and she looks at me and she
bursts out laughter, and then the music starts, and then
I got to run out, and you got to see
this crown on my face. You can look it up
on YouTube. It's I think it's up on YouTube, and
(13:43):
it was. It was the worst experience of my life.
That's my Kate Beconsale story.
Speaker 6 (13:48):
Oh true, that kind of got ruined.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I got invited. We got invited to the when Hamilton
came to town, and we got invited to like this
special performance of it. And so my wife's really big
into theater stuff in Hamilton. So we go and intermission.
I bored to death. I'm sitting there. I just want
to go because I got to work the next morning.
I'm super tired. And my wife goes, I know you
(14:11):
want to leave, and I'm fine with that, but before
you go, your it girl is literally right behind you.
I'm surprised you can't feel the heat off of her
right now. It was Kate Beckinsale, which is like my
hall pass right well at the time, she she's since
been like you know the Yeah, very nutty anyway, still
(14:32):
very very beautiful woman. Anyway, So turn around and my
wife goes, excuse me, miss Beckinsale. Ah, hi, she introduces herself,
introduces me. She goes, my husband loves you that. I'm like,
I wanted to die. I wanted to die. And she
was very sweet and she was very nice like Angelia
and Joe Lee, but like man, but like two opportunities
to like, you know, not that we had a chance.
(14:55):
I don't know chance Yeah right, you know I mean Greg, Yeah,
you could have been with Angelia and Jolio Agains at
least for the one night with the Hall pass.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
My my friend has the Hall pass, Joe David Feldman
is this great comedian nobody's ever heard of. And he's like,
he's like, you know, uh, me and my wife had
hall passes and mine was h Jennifer Anna Stan and
my wife's was Brad Pitt. And then recently I said
to her, it's been a long time. Do you think
we should like re up? Oh yeah, And so she goes,
(15:23):
all right, I'm gonna go with Timothy Shammel shallow May
and Shallo May.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Ye Shalli May. And he goes all right, I'm gonna
go with the babysitter. H Yeah. Smart, yeah, yeah it
work smarter, not harder. Yeah, work the numbers. Yeah, funds
are open eight seven. Greg fitz Simmons is here, all right,
(15:51):
Welcome back everybody. Yeah. Greg Fitzsimmons is here. You can
check him out Instagram at Greg Fitzsimmons, Twitter, Greg fitz
Show and yeah that's gotta be you gotta like figure
out the way they got to buy out whoever, which
one do you want? Do you want the Greg Fitzsimmons
or Greg fitz Show's from all uniform?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
I want to medicine, people, Do I want everything to
be fitz Dog fit dog.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Put him on a link tree medicine. Figure that out. Yeah,
I used to master at all this really. Yeah. That
way you can just like give one thing like Greg
Fitzimmons dot com and then on social media find me
at Fitzdog.
Speaker 7 (16:25):
I did have Whitney Cummings because she had her initial
in the middle of her user. Yeah, like what are
you doing?
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Huh? How do you fix? You gotta know somebody. You're
from the East coast or from the northeast, you know somebody? Yeah,
you gotta guy.
Speaker 7 (16:40):
We got the benefit of originally being from San Francisco. Like,
guess where everything starts? Yeah, somebody that works there.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Yeah, he's got a guy used to be the janitor
at x or Twitter, and now the guy runs the place.
He's like right in your yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We
got one more, one more clip. This is we're talking
about the well, we were playing the clip from the
Boston News to worries and then trying to guess via
multiple choice how the story ends.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Here we go, I'm expecting to see what I seen
on a Sunday early Sunday morning.
Speaker 10 (17:09):
Lisa Vieira says a friend of yours was walking down
mass app with his Beyonce around seven thirty Sunday morning.
Speaker 8 (17:15):
That's when a man driving by insulted the woman from
his car.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
And all of a sudden, he's seen the car, so
he's running down here.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Why are they getting a fight? Oh, a guy was
driving by insulted my girlfriend mass ab No less, that'll
do it, all right, So the options are and then
A he got stabbed, b and then I seen another
car or see he go.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Socks, uh break, fitz Simmons, it's obviously a stabbing. I
mean he assaulted the girlfriend. Okay, it can't just end.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Next logical step well, yeah, I mean it's like they
it's they're in a rush in Boston. There can't be
an argument first, it's just you go straight to seven.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Sunday on the way to check. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Yeah, Father Murphy was breaching out ready up in the paw.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
It just means black people. So I left. How'd you
get your girlfriend? All right? So you're going stabbing? Yeah,
it's a stabbing, all right, Boston or Massachusetts native Sammy Marina,
what's your guess.
Speaker 7 (18:30):
I'm gonna go with.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Then I seen another car, Then I seen another Then
I seen another car. Scene menace. We finally have to
have ghost socks. I'm going to be.
Speaker 10 (18:42):
Amazing, all right, Gina, I think another car pulls up.
For sure, I seen another car.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I've seen another car. I might have hit the person
or something.
Speaker 6 (18:49):
I'm going to defer to Greg and say stabbing as well,
because it's in the news. I don't think it would
be in the news if it was just a cat call.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Keep in mind, I know this is real life and
these are real people in real consequences. But however, inside
I'm kind of hoping for the stabbing because it's a
much better story. It's like a cartoon character. We could
get you, right and got like when was this? I mean,
like how long? I'm sure this was years ago?
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Right, Like, oh yeah, it's all water under the bridge,
all right.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Water, it's all water waters fill.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
That's not plus time people, all right? Uh, yeah, I'll
go with the I'll go along with you, Greg too.
Gregg's right, let's ends.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
And all of a sudden he's seen the car, so
we said, running down here. Next thing you know, he
got stab.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
The best is the guy didn't even leave the car,
chase after.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
You in your car.
Speaker 8 (19:50):
That's a man's.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Mellow recounting it.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
You know, all of a sudden he's seen the car,
so we said, running down here. Next you know he got.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
I went to Star Market and got a you know,
a roast. I went to dunk and got Boston Cream.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
So I had to break up with him because he's
all stabbed, no disrespect.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
That's a fun game. I like that game.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Game.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Well, Greg Fitzsimmons, make sure you go check out his
special his latest specials called you Know Me, streaming on YouTube,
Saint Patrick's Day Show at the Hollywood Improv this Saturday.
Tickets available at ticketweb dot com. Check out and follow
his uh fits Dog radio podcast What else did we miss?
I mean, what else? What else? It's the national We're going.
We're everywhere everywhere.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Improv and that's that's great. I mean, I appreciate all
the loves of course.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Man. Yeah, well We love spending time with you. Yeah,
it's it's fun. It is you know, we get to
have a good time and you know, just just chop
it up together. But you get to look at Gina, right,
we look, we love you man, Thank you so much
for coming in, and thank you so much for being
I mean, look at that punctual on top. Would we
get the most?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Greg, I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do.
I'm usually not up for another hour. All right, more
what he shows next? Hang up, He'll be right back.
Speaker 6 (21:15):
Meanwhile, Sea Mass will continue his endless search for the
perfect weeg hair flex.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Sorry, I mean hair system. Get its fall. It's not
my scalp. I have light brown hair with bald highlights.
What do you We'll reserve. And Gina gret is right there, right,
she's got your news headlines.
Speaker 8 (21:35):
Well it's the end of an era.
Speaker 10 (21:36):
Southwest just buckled and announced they'll start charging for check bags.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
No knew that was happening.
Speaker 8 (21:42):
Yeah, it was on the horizon.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Yeah, the minute they started doing like the uh the
assigned seating thing and announce that they were going to
be offering certain rows for an additional price with more
leg room and red eyes that they were doing all
this other stuff to increase revenue, right, and so you
just knew it was a matter of time. The one
thing is that that was kind of their thing, right,
It was like no Ali cards. But you know what
else is their thing and their stockholders thing money. Yeah,
(22:06):
they do like it, they like it. Yeah, they were
the last Yeah, they.
Speaker 10 (22:09):
Were the last major airline in the US that didn't
do that stuff. The Boston Globe ran the story as
an obituary. So starting May twenty eighth, you won't even
get one bag on Southwest. They haven't said how much
they're charging it, but we know other airlines tack on
around thirty five bucks for your first bag, more for
the second bag.
Speaker 8 (22:27):
And they're still hooking up their loyal customers.
Speaker 10 (22:30):
So frequent flyers and business class passengers they'll still get
bags free.
Speaker 8 (22:34):
But everybody else we're paying.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Oh it's sweet like everybody else. Yeah, Southwest is not
the low cost carrier like it was. No, it's not
Spirit Frontier, it's not Allegiant.
Speaker 6 (22:46):
Now, when are they doing the assigned seating thing this year?
Bring it on.
Speaker 10 (22:51):
It's like, yeah, do that, but also stick a TV
in the headrest. It's like, if you're doing all these
other upgrades, let's really go for it and.
Speaker 6 (22:58):
Get rid of the little you would see heart logo things.
Oh yeah, wow, it doesn't like the hearts very I
love the friendliness of them. You guys hate that. The
kookie quirky songs. I love that.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah, I love it too, all the jokes.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
But the rest is annoying. Yeah, the non assigned seating.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Seating on Southwest start okay, second half of twenty twenty
five are basically the end book. Oh, they're offering booking
for assigned and premium seating in the second half of
twenty twenty five. Expected to begin operating with the assigned
and premium seating in twenty twenty six.
Speaker 8 (23:36):
Yeah, just to get you used to it.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Yeah, you got easy.
Speaker 7 (23:40):
They were going to crack down on preboarding too. I'm
still running into that.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
It's like one hundred people in wheelchairs, but weird family
when they get off the plane. Yeah, people need wheelchairs.
It's a miracle.
Speaker 7 (23:52):
I know, it's amazing, Like, yeah, the one person and
then like six family members on the preboard power. I mean,
when you get this sign seating, I guess it's not
gonna matter anymore.
Speaker 8 (24:03):
Yeah, has anyone seen the new Southwest planes?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Have you been on them?
Speaker 8 (24:06):
They're amazing.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Wow, because I had a layover and so I went
from one of their oldest planes to one of their
newest planes.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
And they're so nice.
Speaker 8 (24:14):
They have all these outlets and stuff. They have lighting
that goes all the way across. It's like mood lighting almost.
It's so nice and so cool. That sounds like the
old Virgin Airlines. But they're kind of modern.
Speaker 7 (24:25):
But going back to what you were saying, TVs, no TVs.
Speaker 8 (24:29):
We got to get those TVs in the head rest.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Yeah, still no TVs, but like most people are just
watching on their falling into their tablet.
Speaker 10 (24:34):
Because if I I always bring it and I'm ready,
but I'm like, ooh the sirens song of the headrest TV.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
I'd much rather do that. Yeah, but it'll cut cost,
you know, not by not having that right, So I
don't think. I don't think they're jumping to offer it
because they'll say, oh, well you can just watch on
your on your divide, but then you have to pay
for Wi Fi.
Speaker 8 (24:50):
Yeah stuff.
Speaker 6 (24:52):
Not in Southwest. You can do the free stuff, the
free TV and movies selection commercial.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah, you know they don't pay to watch the stuff
if it's on your tablet. It's only if you want
to start browsing the internet or doing the other stuff.
Speaker 6 (25:04):
The entertainment is good.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Well.
Speaker 10 (25:06):
Investigators gave an update yesterday on that mid air collision
that happened in January, you know, with the American Airlines
plane in the Army helicopter in DC. So the NTSB,
that's the National Transportation Safety Board, they called for immediate
changes and said that the current helicopter routes around the
busy airport pose an intolerable risk to aviation safety. So
the NTSB recommended that the FAA permanently banned helicopter flights
(25:30):
near the airport only when two specific runways are in use,
and that was immediately announced that would be the new rule.
Like they're not even they're not even consulting. It's just
we can't do that again.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Smart. Yeah, by do you see the since we're on
the topic of flying and stuff like that, this flight
from Air India, Oh yeah, so it is an Air
India flight from Chicago to New Delhi. Yeah, they had
to force them to turn around and go back to
Chicago several hours into the flight because multiple bathrooms. Eight
(26:02):
out of the twelve toilets on the plane were broken
and clogged. Who now, you might be wondering, menace. Yeah, yeah,
how guys, how might happen? And what were they clogged with? Well,
it turns out the animals on board were flushing clothes,
plastic bags, rags, and other things down the toilets and
it totally messed up because they're idiots.
Speaker 10 (26:24):
But how does everyone on the same plane do that?
A spokesperson yeah for Air India told reporters this is
not the first time something like this has happened on
their airline. It happens far more often than you think
on Air India flights. And they said it's things like, quote,
blankets in I guess underwear, they said, innerwear, some guys
that underwear, Yeah, diapers and a number of other things
(26:47):
that normal people would never think to even try to flush.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Blankets, blankets like I've seen I've seen videos of India
not the cleanest place, So I don't know what happens
over there. What people, You've never been on a plane,
you've never used to toilet, does not everybody? Some of
these people are pooping off trains and stuff like that. Houses.
So this this flight that just turned around went back
(27:12):
to Chicago. It was in the air for ten hours
and went nowhere, so they absolute So they left Chicago,
got five hours out, turned around over like Greenland or something,
and then came back to Chicago. Good. Yeah, yeah, exactly,
who cares?
Speaker 8 (27:28):
Yeah, you live there now.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Yeah. And then there was this other one where this
flight to Miami had to turn around go back to
the airport because one of the passengers attacked a flight attendant.
He also kicked and punched the seat of the person
in front of him, swallowed some rosary beads. He was
traveling with his sister, who said that her brother had
told her to quote close her eyes and pray because
(27:50):
Satan's disciples had followed them onto the plane. All right, cool, do.
Speaker 8 (27:53):
We need to start doing psychic ls before we get
on planes?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
The plane landed, he charred towards the exit, he threw
punches at a different flight attendant, and that's when finally
some passengers jumped in and restrain this guy until the
cops got there.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
He was taken into the county jail, but a quick
stop at the hospital first to see what they could
do about the rosary beads that he swallowed.
Speaker 6 (28:12):
I think what we have to do is, you know
how they can do measure air like air quality. They
need to measure the air in public restrooms and in
airplanes because people here at work, for example, in the
men's room lose their minds. Your total animals, they act
like they would never act, but it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
So we're breathing the same air. So how do you
test for that.
Speaker 6 (28:32):
Something is happening? And then in planes people lose their mind.
You could you could unfreeze a caveman from ten million
years ago and he wouldn't flush stuff.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Down the tilet But I really want to know that's okay,
So let's just say, like you that you were talking about,
like we're mentioning how like a lot of outhouses and
things like that, and people live in certain parts of
India whatever. Okay, you somehow got to Chicago. Yeah right,
you spent more than so you've been on a plane
and he saw these normal world. Yeah, I'm sure you
have used the toilet since you were visiting Chicago.
Speaker 5 (29:04):
You know.
Speaker 7 (29:07):
Why, dude? So this unlocked and memory we talked about
it on the show. I don't know how many years ago,
but India had a campaign called Poop to the lou
where it was trying to get They made a music
video and a song to it to get people from
stopping and pooping in the streets because it.
Speaker 10 (29:26):
Was just like cool, insane to skip to Malu.
Speaker 7 (29:30):
Yeah, poo to Yeah, look get up poop to Malu
India government campaign.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
But also, okay, so I don't want to really travel internationally.
But even let's say I had to come up with
a list of one hundred countries, right, I think India
would be pretty far down there.
Speaker 7 (29:51):
Well, there's such a divide in wealth in India and areas. Yeah,
so you'll go to really really nice places India.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Well, I don't like food that only curry. Curry disagrees
with me big time.
Speaker 8 (30:02):
But they have more than curry.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
No understand, Yeah, you don't have to have the curry.
I don't think my neighbors know that there are great people,
but men, I swear it's like every day i'm outside,
it's like up curry again. It's like growing up my
mother every night was chicken. Yeah right, yeah, up, I
agree again.
Speaker 7 (30:19):
Yeah, but it will just be like you'll go to
really nice areas and then some areas are just straight
up slum.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Nope, you know.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Yeah. So let's say I've seen slum dog millionaire dog, yeah, you.
Speaker 7 (30:29):
Know, or like a lot of people that they if
let's say you visit Jamaica, right and you get off,
Let's say you're taking a cruise, you get off the
cruise boat and you're like, oh, I'm gonna go hang
out at a resort for the day. Really nice area,
but you're gonna have to go through a really really
bad area yeah to get there first. Yeah, And it's
just you know, that's how it is some places, especially India.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Yeah. Well.
Speaker 10 (30:52):
A woman says that Odell Beckham Junior was one of
many men who assaulted her along with Diddy back in
twenty eighteen, but both Diddy and Beckham.
Speaker 8 (31:00):
Say that this is total crap.
Speaker 10 (31:02):
At first, the woman said that Ditty and several john
Does brutally assaulted her at her home after she made
a comment about Tupac's murder during a FaceTime call of Ditty,
But in another version of the complaint, she says that
the john Does were Odell and streamer and comedian Drewski,
and she alleges that after did he held a knife
to her face, covered her with lubricant, and assaulted her
with a TV remote. Drewski jumped on top of her
(31:22):
and knocked the wind out of her and treated her
body like a slip and slide. She says Odell participated too,
but he has released a statement saying that he's confident
that these ridiculous claims will be dismissed.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Well, there's that Le'Veon Bell story. Oh yeah, former Steeler
running back Le'Veon Bell and then went on to the Jets,
I think, yeah and yeah, So like a horrible story.
He and his brother are being accused by his cousin,
his first cousin, of sexually assaulting her, raping her whatever,
from when she was like a little kid, all the
way up until like twenty seventeen. And she filed a
(31:55):
lawsuit which I guess they didn't respond to. So there
was a default judgment, yeah, against him for twenty five
million dollars because he never responded to the lawsuit. So
it's like some kind of violation of the Fifth Amendment whatever.
Speaker 8 (32:06):
And it's brother for eleven million.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Yeah, the brother for eleven million. So I guess they
have an opportunity to kind of go back on it
and stuff. But like, dude, why does everybody want to
be diddy? Yeah, I'm not saying you did it. By
the way, it seems like he just didn't respond to
the the lassuit. Who who knows that you could just
not respond? Eight seven seven forty four Woody, we look
help people with food poisoning field because it has a
head wood shoe. All right, Well that's it for Wednesday.
(32:32):
All right, full show podcast everything from this morning. Also
the Highlights podcast fifteen to thirty minutes of our favorite
crep from today's show that's on your favorite podcast platform.
Also by going to the Woodieshow dot com check that
out subscribe to our podcast, would you please? That'd be great. Also,
we've got for you another chance to sign up and
(32:53):
win for the Woody Show After Hours takeover Disney California
Adventure Park, So round ta Bear Fair for you in
a guest hotel, well tickets to our takeover and more.
Sign up right now just by going to the Woodyshow
dot Com. Back tomorrow with a whole new show. But
in the meantime, if there's anything you want to tell
us about, leave it for us on the after Hours
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(33:15):
you can find us, follow us on social media. Mets
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