July 23, 2024 • 28 mins
What did Dr. Jenn's boyfriend give her for their 2-year dating anniversary? And Clint shares why his week was so tough...but then offers an alternative perspective.
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(00:00):
Doctor Jen, as you take adrink from your hydro flask, staying drinked.
I know you have a couple ofbooks that you want to share.
Well, it's yes, at somepoint today I'd like to talk about it.
So Rubin and I my boyfriend,we celebrated our two year anniversary dating
anniversary this weekend. Congrats. OnSaturday, I saw you made a nice
(00:21):
comment on my photo of us onFacebook. We were celebrating brunch and oloya.
It was lovely. Anyway, Ican't believe it's been two years.
It's amazing. Time is going byQues, I know, but I'm so
grateful for him in so many waysand so in love with this man.
I'm just so appreciative for this relationship. And he feels exactly the same way.
(00:43):
And so one of the gifts hegave me as an anniversary gift,
and this is like what a whata perfect man for me? Is two
books. One is called Questions forCouples. It's a journal. It's four
hundred questions to enjoy, reflect andconnect with your partner. And you could
see and then so it's got questionslike do you feel that you and your
partner are currently striking a good balancebetween being a team and leading independent lives.
(01:08):
And then there's space for you tofill in answers. How do you
stay focused on your top priorities?What is one small thing you can do
to cultivate goodwill and friendship with yourpartner every day anyway? And then there's
another one that's called a Year ofUs. But before we dive into that
one, and wait, wait,the one that you just said is what's
(01:30):
it called. It's called Questions forCouples Journal. Four hundred questions I enjoy
reflect and connect with your partner.And he was so and then he gave
me another one and so but I'lltalk about that one in a bit,
but it was so sweet he gavehim to me. And then he's like,
I thought we could start doing thesetonight, and I was going to
get us stecks of cards, butthen we would just answer the questions and
(01:53):
this one we actually get to writeit down and then we can come back
and look at it. And ayear later and I was like, whoah,
pretty smart people. Sure do knowhow to make the best of your
communication skills. Yeah, well,I mean I'm sure two years ago he
might not have thought to do somethinglike this, but this is you know,
he loves this part of me.He loves the way we get to
(02:15):
communicate about everything hard things, werereflecting on things. We're working on things
always, but we're also always havingfun. So yeah, it's such a
great gift and something I can usein my work and with couples that I
work with. So it's awesome.I'm gonna be looking into it before we
do the other one. What thehell? You had some tough week last
(02:37):
week? What's going on? Letme tell you? Okay, So,
so it all started two Sundays agowith being stranded for three and a half
hours outside of Dudley's Bakery the towingcompany. If you remember, I was
telling you didn't show up right forme the run around? Okay, whatever,
cool, you know, move on, we get home. My wife's
(02:57):
super under understanding about it because Iwanted to spend time with her that day.
She was the one who suggested getout for a ride. I know
you need to, So that wasthat was awesome that she understood. But
you know, but a little roughwhen you don't plan on that. You
know, you want to have dinnerand watch a movie with your wife.
Okay, Cool, so rolling intothe week, and I don't know why
I got this in my head,but I did. I had a meeting
with my boss Taylor on Thursday.I know you told me about it at
(03:22):
the beginning of the week. Iwas literally thinking about you, wondering and
hoping that the meeting went well welland so we don't meet often, right,
And I knew it was coming,and I had asked about, you
know, when's the best time totake vacation time, and you know,
the whole thing, because I'm tryingto respect the ratings period for the radio
station and just making sure that sheis a boss. She's only been there
I think what five months now,something like that. I just want to
(03:44):
make sure that we're good, youknow, that whole thing, and that
I'm respecting the process. And Ihave a ton of time off, but
we just don't have a lot ofmeetings at all over the last four or
five months. So when one wasset for ten thirty on Thursday morning for
some reason, about a day ahead, I started to think, oh,
oh, this is it. I'mbeing let go. I don't know why
(04:05):
I just did. And then bynine o'clock Thursday morning, an hour and
a half for the meeting. Iwas convinced, I don't. I just
somehow convinced myself. I'm gone,this is it? What am I going
to do? So that really sucked, right, Yeah, So then moving
on until that afternoon. I'm atmy house and my dad calls me.
(04:29):
Does not sound good at all atall. Never heard him like this.
He says, I need you totake me to the er. His voice
sounded strange. His oh shit,well, he sounded so bad at eighty
one years old that I actually said, no, pops, that's what I
call him. I said, no, no, call an ambulance. You
do not sound good. You don'tsound like yourself. And he came back
with you know, almost, youknow almost. It sounded like he was
(04:51):
almost delirious and crying and and no, I don't want to go on an
ambulance. You he's never been likethis. I think it might have been
his voice though, actually, becausehe was so sick. Now that I
look back at it, it's probablywhat it was. You know, your
voice can sound really funny and weird. Yeah, yeah, So I took
him to the er, spent severalhours there. Now, you know,
fast forward to Friday afternoon and myson calls me and says, yeah,
(05:14):
Hey, looking forward to you guyscoming up to the show. I have
some not so great news though.My car broke down and it's stuck in
front of the theater where I'm atright now for my first show. And
I'm just like, oh God,okay, okay, let me figure out
a way to get it, Bud, long as you're good whatever. So
now fast forward to the next day, which is Saturday. Gotta go up
and get the car, Gotta gofigure out how I'm gonna do this,
(05:38):
you know, and all of thesethings. Now I'm going to back it
up. Now, that is apretty crappy week by all standards. It's
it's a scary, crappy week.But it wasn't. Let me tell you
why. It was a phenomenal week. I'm going to back up to last
Sunday, and I'm only sharing thiswith anybody listening. If you're going through
a rough time, yours might bea real rough time. Like I'm not
saying my life is falling apart.I'm just saying it's been a trying week.
(06:01):
And this is how I spun thisin my head as each thing happened.
Because a lot of people. Ohcrappy week, dude, No,
actually not at all. So let'sgo back to Sunday when I'm stuck for
three and a half hours. Italked a little bit about this with you
with my friends and next to Dudley'sgot to have great conversations and make jokes
with those friends for three and ahalf hours while we bad mouth the towing
(06:21):
company, which was kind of fun. You got to spend time with these
people, and one of them evenpointed out, dude, this is good
for you. I'm glad this happenedbecause you are always rushing off you never
have time. And I'm like,yeah, you know what, You're right,
so now let's yeah yep. ThoughtI was going to be fired,
turned out to be, Hey,here's the best time to take vacation,
(06:44):
and let's ramp up social media alittle bit. You know. It's kind
of the future of the business andthe whole thing. One thing threatening a
great meeting, just like, okay, cool up my game. Uh there's
some challenges with that because I amtrying to up my game with that,
which means I'm using a new appand doing everything on my phone. That's
a little challenging, or is it. Actually I'm learning something new that I'm
forced to learn. Yeah, sothat is a great thing. Yeah,
(07:08):
my dad at the er, theyran what do you call it? They
ran X rays on his chest,on his lungs, his heart, a
CT scan on his brain. Theydid a full panel of blood a blood
work. Turns out he had COVID. Not that that's a good thing,
no, but here's the thing.So now I'm in the truck with him
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taking in there. We did wearmasks. The ran back and I asked,
what is my protocol now because ifhe's got this and I was just
in the truck with the doctor saysnothing, he goes. If you don't
have symptoms, you just business asusual. I said, I don't warn
anybody. He goes. You don'thave to know. He goes. It's
almost like the flu. Now hegoes. But if you get symptoms,
yes you quarantined for five days.But until then nothing, And I'm like,
okay, So I drive my dadback. I went to the store
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and got him water and some otherstuff. Turns out my stepmother has COVID
as well, who's eighty three.Yeah, now that's rough, but think
about what could have happened. Ididn't know what was happening with my dad.
They put him in a room rightaway before they knew had COVID.
They were running all kinds of tests. It didn't look good or they wouldn't
have done that. Yeah, mudpressure was low, heartbeat was like yeah.
I was like, oh god,you know, and I've never seen
(08:16):
my dad that fragile. He's nowrecovering. It was COVID. Sure it
sucks, but he and Carmen,my stepmother, are recovering. Could have
been a lot worse. Now let'sfast forward to my son and his car.
He was not on the freeway whenthe car went could put Oh thank
god, and a freeway in LAduring primetime traffic is not good, so
(08:39):
he was not harmed. He madeit to his destination, to his job
because it's a professional theater. Yeah. And the next day, let's fast
forward to that. I'm in theshop after being offered several trailers by friends
to go up and get this carright. Yea, even my buddy's triple
A he offered that does two hundredmiles a to I don't even know anybody
(09:01):
else who has a two hundred milerange of towing a vehicle. On Triple
A. I didn't know it wentthat high, so I was gonna use
that. But at the shot,my buddy Lawn goes, hey, dude,
what are you up to today?I said, I got to pick
up my son's car. Told himstory. He goes, well, I'm
not doing anything. Let me driveup in the truck behind you. I'll
drive my truck, hook Bob's trailerup. Bob Lloyd who loaned me the
trailer next door it to Lloyd's collisionand paint. And yes, that was
a shameless plug. He he wentover, picked it up for me,
(09:26):
hooked it up so that I couldgo home, clean my truck out,
and leave my truck with my soninstead of having to make two trips to
take it with the trailer. Sowe get there and I go, dude,
I go, I gotta pay you. I gotta do something. And
then and I looked at my sonand I said, look, I know
the plan was for us to getthe trailer back down with your car to
(09:48):
San Diego and then Mom and Icome back up to watch your show.
But at this rate, I'm notgonna make it. There's no way I'll
make it. So Mom's gonna comeup alone. I'll see it August third.
At least I can see it once. He goes, okay, I
get it. Dad. Lawn looksat me and goes, no, you're
not. He goes, I'm drivingthe trailer down, the truck the car.
I will drop it off. Ohhere's another thing. My friend Tom
(10:09):
finds out about this and goes,hey, dude, don't drop it off
at your house, drop it offat mine, because he's a former mechanic.
And he goes, just let melook at it for you, so
you at least know what you're gettinginto. I said, wait, really,
he said yeah. So Ln takesthe vehicle drops it off at Tom's
house and I asked Tom too,I said, are you okay with this?
Because I feel like I'm abandoning youguys doing me such a huge favor.
(10:30):
He goes, Nope, see yourson's show. Right. So I
found out I didn't find out.I was reminded this week about how blessed
I am, and especially in thearea of friendship. I am not a
rich man monetarily I do, okay, but I'm telling you I have several
not just one or two. Ihave many lifelong friends who would give anything
(10:54):
for me and I them, andI will tell you, doctor Jen,
it is a blessed, phenomenal week. That is just me wanting to share
my perspective. Now, this carmay cost me a lot of money.
I don't know, and I don'thave it right now, but it's okay.
You know what I have. Ihate to say it if I need
it a credit card, but atleast I have it if I have to.
Yeah. So the just all ofthat could have gone much worse.
(11:16):
Yes, didn't it was. Itwas a challenging, stressful week and everything
turned out quite well. And youhave so much gratitude for your friends that
stepped in and helped out in trulyunexpected ways. It's it's fricking awesome.
And I'm telling you, I dopray a lot, Jen. I'm telling
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you, doctor Jen. I knowsometimes you may get sick of hairing this,
but Jen, I'm not trying topush my stuff on anybody else.
But I got to recognize God hasblessed me and has watched out for me
and my son and my father.That's just how it is. So Yeah,
Anyway, if you're having a badweek, you know what, maybe
you can turn it around. Idon't know that's what I did. Well,
(11:58):
there is, there's a lot tobe so for one of the keys
of happiness and like sustainable happiness inlife is to find things to be grateful
for and to literally make a dailypractice of that and to see I think
the only you know, I'll speakto you know, what you're doing,
I think is great, right becauseyou know, it was a tough week
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and you saw so much positive init, and that's a great way to
move through life. I would saythat only dangers. Sometimes when folks do
stuff like that of what I callquote unquote toxic positivity, they literally won't
allow themselves to acknowledge that something's hardor that they're struggling, or that they're
suffering, or if someone else's they'llbe like, you know, only positive
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vibes, no bad energy, andthat's horrible and it's bullshit. And those
are people who are afraid to feelnegative things. That is not like higher
vibration in this world. That isfear based. Yeah, and then you're
asked to other people. So thatis a weird thing that, especially in
(13:03):
southern California, we have around likeyou know, positive energy and but like
yeah, so listen. I'm I'mwith you on that, and this is
why this was not that for me. No, I can tell it's not.
No, it doesn't feel that way. It is, And just to
be clear for anybody listening, thereason that it's not is it did start
that way. It started out whereI was just pissed off and oh my
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god, what the fuck else cango wrong? And then I just stopped
and you know where it's you knowwhere it turned around in the truck ride
taking my son back up to LAto get his car and leave him there
while he does his show, becausethe show must go on. He's not
gonna lose his job over this.And I went, oh my god,
you know what I get an Iget two hours in the truck with you
(13:46):
that I wouldn't have had. Andyou came down last night. You weren't
coming home for a couple of months. Yeah, but it forced him to.
And that's where I turned it around. That's where I went, you
know what, I'm not going tohave this kind of attitude. I'm gonna
I'm gonna look at this as whatcould have gone wrong and did not,
and how lucky and blessed I am. So No, I get it though,
because there are people You're right thatyou're just like, shut the fuck
(14:07):
up. Well and there. Andthe thing is what when I've come across
that, which has been frequent,they they are very self righteous about it.
Because I've I've based this like whenI've done workshops and because my you
know, I if people aren't addressingtheir struggles and their suffering and their insecurities
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and their fears, and and ifthat means first of all, they're not
being honest with themselves and then givingthemselves the space to actually process it and
move through it, they just likepretend it's not there and stuff it down.
Oh it's what I call putting icingon a ship cupcake, right,
And I was like, no,I could, I could still smell the
shit. But they are really bullingthemselves. And then the problem with those
(14:50):
people. At the core of compassionis compassion for other people is recognizing their
struggles, recognizing that they're suffering insome way, recognizing that they're having a
hard time, and it's having themindfulness and the courage to actually be able
to sit within feel that if youare a good ViBe's only person, not
(15:13):
only are you denying your truth inyour own personal growth. You're also not
able to be compassionate to other people, and that's what serial killers are made
of, by the way, Butno, you you actually you were.
I think if I remember the firstperson who made me sit and realize,
let it settle, Let that uneasinesssettle and recognize where it's coming from,
(15:35):
and sit with it long enough.Yeah, not too long, but long
enough to recognize and move on fromit and build from there. Which I
still remember that you told me this. That's the core of my your ago
I think six months ago or whateverit was. No, it was why
it was probably a few years ago. That's at the core of my book,
how to Build Comfort with Discomfort.That's right, that's when you said,
I just couldn't remember the time.Yeah, yeah, yeah, and
(15:56):
then you know, tying it intothen my friend Sarah who's a big fan
of the show, Sarah shier HiSarah Hi, Sarah of the Compassionate nonprofit
like I learned all about compassion andcompassion research through her and classes that she
teaches. So, oh wait,hold on, since we were just doing
a shout out, can you doanother shout out to my sister's birthday?
(16:18):
This week. Hey, happy twentyninth birthday, sister. She's I could
say, she doesn't care. She'sfifty four. She'll turn fifty four tomorrow.
We're recording on July seventeenth, Sohappy birthday, teener, and I'll
be I'll be there next week soI'll get to celebrate in person with her.
We're gonna do it. We haveto do it. It's gonna it's
gonna be a tune ou, butlet's do it. Happy birthday day to
(16:41):
you, give it all you got. Happy birthday to you, as doctor
jenn Is bouncing hap. Happy birthday, dear Teene, Happy birthday too you.
That was me blowing out your candle. Hey, we've never sag any
(17:03):
happy birthday to anybody on this show. I guess because people don't like it.
I'm sure. Oh did that soundhorrible? Well? I am positive
My sister is gleeful right now,and that's worth it. That's all that
matters. Our three listeners who justtuned out now they're back in. I
don't it's worth it. Everyone elseis warrified. Okay, Well, let
me get back to then. Thosebooks that I said Reuben gave me and
(17:27):
I wanted to share this other one, which is the one I've already started,
because we don't live together, youknow, and we see each other
multiple times a week, but helives with his kids halftime, and he's
up in Rancho Penasquitos and I'm downin Pacific Beach in San Diego, and
so we have about twenty twenty fiveminutes between us. So and I always
know when you're at your house,by the way, recording on zoom and
his, because with yours it's amulti colored brick wall background and with his
(17:52):
it's these really nice palm trees allyeah in his kitchen. Yeah, really
really nice. Either one I like. Yeah. So the other book he
got me is called A Couple's Journal, A year of us, one question
a day to spark fun and meaningfulconversations. And so I started it.
And so what I thought I'd dothat if we're together on a day,
(18:15):
then we could fill it out together. But I started it two days ago,
and so on July fifteenth, Istarted it and it says what's your
idea of a special weekend together andwhy? And so then you could see
Clint. So it's got like halfa page space in this journal, and
so I took up like half thespit and just put Jay for me,
and then I left the space forhim to write in his and then I
(18:37):
did day two, which is,what are the words you would most like
to hear me utter about you inmy sleep? Such an interesting question.
Now, wait, just so sothat I because I was so interested in
looking at your book, I didn'thear something you said, is this the
first book or this is the secondbook you were going to show us?
Well, I showed you the firstone that was four hundred questions, and
(19:00):
then this is a day by daythough, so it's numbered day wise.
Okay, because I think this one'sone I have even more interesting because I
like that day by day stuff.Yeah, no, it's super cool.
The other one is really great.I would suggest four because I'm gonna start
suggesting it to clients to use ona date night, to use on a
long road trip, to use ona weekend away. Just flip through the
book and ask each other some questions. I think that is great because there's
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four hundred of them, like,huh, pick some good ones. But
then this one is a really niceday by day thing, and like literally
you're talking you and your partner sitdown like less than five minutes and jot
down your answers, so my thoughts. Since we don't live together, I'm
going to also do day three today. So, which is what famous story
book or movie character did you relateto most as a child and how did
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it reflect your inner struggle at thattime in your life. I actually have
no idea how I'm going to answerthat. Yeah, you think about that
one. I was never kind ofwired like that, so, I mean,
nor was I honestly. I meanI'm a big movie guy, but
yeah, I never thought as akid, who who do I most?
Well? Anyway, Yeah, itwas funny. I think of the fawns
on TV. Well, not thatI identify. He was just the one
(20:07):
that I was like, Oh,that's who I want to be, you
know? Or is that what itmeans? I guess that's what it means,
right, It could absolutely. Yeah, it's not a movie, but
it's a TV show. Yeah.You I can't even imagine because you're not
a movie buff or a TV buff. No. I mean I I read
books all the time, though,so and of course, well here's the
thing. I'm not a buff becauseI just don't remember things like your brain
does, and so many other men'sbrains seem to. I mean, I
(20:30):
watched TV, I watched movies.I loved all of that, and I
read all the time. So Iwas constantly surrounded by, you know,
characters, but I wasn't sort ofwired that, you know, I didn't
have like an inner struggle that then, you know, I could identify with
a character who gave me strength orcourage or a different way of doing thing.
That's not how I don't I don'tknow that's that's not how your emotions
(20:52):
or your brain works. No,they don't. I wait, let me
ask you this real quick. Holdon, because that's a great Now that
you've said this, I get stucksometimes on work books like mine. Is
the disease to please? Yes,certain thing, I'm like, I don't
know how they want me to dothis or how I want to do this.
I don't get it. Yeah,what do you do? Then?
Do you skip it? Or doyou no? So I was thinking about
(21:15):
for me, But then I startedthinking about what was there certain characters I'm
particularly in a book that I justmost loved. And I mean there was
once I read when I was alittle kid, there was like the Beverly
Cleary books and stuff like that andNancy Drew and I know I like that,
but I actually don't like nothing specificstays with me. So honestly,
(21:37):
the book that I most remember fromlike I think my Maybeh I was fourteen
or something, fifteen sixteen, Idon't know was the book it by Stephen
King. Oh my god, Iread that book and it was like eight
hundred and fifty pages. I readthat book, yes, and it was
so like I still feel it,like I miss those characters when I was
(21:59):
done. It was so compelling,it was scary. I think it was
my first like real introduction to likehorror and scary movies like that. And
but I so I don't know.That doesn't answer the question, But that's
probably what I would do if Idon't have an answer for the question.
I'm gonna whatever still comes to mind, I'm gonna jot that down so that
I'm still answering something and still givingsomething of myself. I mean, that's
what most matters with these questions,that you're revealing something that maybe you haven't
(22:23):
talked about before with your partner oryou haven't shared in a while. But
see, I love that because thefact that you're even talking about this because
just by chance you're you're telling usabout these books, and here you come
to a point where you're like,I'm not sure how to answer it,
but I'm gonna find a way,And now that helps me, and maybe
there's others like me, because Iget stuck and I just spend it in
my mind going, well, Iwant to answer this correct I get way
(22:47):
over analytical. Well I'm not surewhat they mean, and how do I
answer this? And and well I'mnot sure, so I'll skip it.
But I don't want to skip itbecause I don't want to move forward past
it, and then I get stuck. Seriously, so I would to me,
I think it's better to be totake the approach. There's not a
perfect way to do it. Ifyou are. If you're not answering questions
because they feel too scary or youwant to avoid her and they feel too
(23:08):
uncomfortable, excuse me, that's onething. Make yourself answered. If you're
not answering because you're like A,I actually don't feel like I have an
answer, it doesn't resonate with me. Then just jot something down, or
even jot that down, and thenmove on to the next one. The
thing is also sometimes I know whenI've done that because the question got planted
in my head. It could bea few days later and then I'm like,
oh my god, I totally dohave an answer for it. And
(23:30):
then you can go back to it, but just don't. Don't let it
stop you like, let it,let it shift to match who you are,
and then keep moving forward. Andthen so let me read tomorrow's I
haven't even read this one yet.If you could be totally absolved of something
you regret, what would you askforgiveness for? Oh my god, boy,
(23:51):
that would dig out the worms?Wow? I don't know. Yeah,
god, I mean, I'd liketo think I haven't done too many
horrible things. But boy, ifyou dig deep on that one, I
know what's that book? This one? This is a year of us one
question a day to spark fun andmeaningful conversations. Okay by Alicia Munnos.
Oh god, Alicia Munos, Ohno, is this not gonna? Let
(24:15):
me hold on my computers, giveme fun, shut up? And it's
a year of us. Yeah.Wait, why do you say shut up?
What's going on? The author?I think? I I think I
wrote a blurb for her like twoyears ago with another book she had.
I reviewed the book. I think, oh my god, this is only
seven ninety five paperback. Really really, I don't know. Yeah, it's
(24:40):
fourteen ninety nine on the back.Does it look like this? Yeah,
but yours is hardcover. Mine ismine? No, it's soft. No,
it's soft cover for seven ninety five. Yeah. Oh is it because
it's prime. No, it doesn'tsay it's crime. Oh, that's right,
it is prime. I'm doing it. I'm ordering this right Noway,
a year of US one US.I don't know this one meaningful conversations at
least, that's it. Yeah,hell yes, Oh my god, yeah,
(25:03):
it's fifteen so funny. I didn'teven look at the author's names on
these, and I was like,I actually recognize her. So anyway,
so my thought to do, sincewe don't live together, and for other
folks who may be in that boat, I'm going to fill it out every
day and then give it to himand then he's got to play catch up
a little bit. Yeah, andthen he'll have it then, you know,
till I see him again. Sohe'll have it for a couple of
(25:25):
these, and we could just keepswapping it back and forth, and so
then he'll fill out the days whenI'm not there, and then when I
get it back, I'll fill thosein and then keep moving forward. I
love that, and it's but here'sthe thing too, that it's you may
have said this, I apologize,and now I'm ordering this as we speak
because I don't want to drop theball on this. No, no,
no, this is resonating with me. And normally you say, don't do
other stuff, but I gotta getthis ordered. The thing is is it's
(25:48):
not just good for you as acouple. I think this is amazing for
you just as a person, eventhough you're trying to share it with the
other person. Yeah, I'll betit's things that you haven't thought about ever
or in years, like things likeoh yeah, yeah, no, what
about that? Yeah No, Ithink it's super interesting. I mean,
it's fun, and it truly does. If it's taking you more than a
few minutes, then maybe the questionisn't resonating with you. And then,
(26:10):
like I said, that's okay rightdown. You know, I don't have
an answer for this, but thisis what popped in my mind, So
somehow it's connected in my brain evenif it doesn't answer the question. And
I'm so frickin Alicia Muno's right,yeah, okay, it'll come up Munos.
Yeah, yeah, there it is. Okay, yeah, yeah,
I'm ordering it. This is great. And the other one was the Couple's
(26:33):
Quiz book, uh questions for Couple'sJournal, four hundred questions to enjoy.
I mean, I won't do thatone yet because I don't want to get
like no, yeah, yeah,eight us. I haven't done any one
of them. The one a yearone I think is a good place to
start. So I love that anyway. And ye Rubin for getting such neat
anniversary. Seriously, that bohunk deservesa credit. Yeah, and then we
(26:56):
always do. We had a beautifulbrunch at Lava Alencia in La Joya.
We went for Sunday brunch there.So if it's too personal, you don't
have to answer. I'm gonna lookit up anyway, is it. I
mean it's probably fairly expensive because Ithought about taking my wife to that,
but I never really Oh yeah,I know, I've actually never eaten there.
I only had a drink there,but I was like, I'm always
like, oh, this is superexpensive. You know what it wasn't.
(27:18):
It wasn't nearly as expensive as Ithought at all, basically because like in
peb Pacific Beach, here used tobe cheap food and since COVID times price
has gone up. Go to likea just a cafe and get like an
omelet for breakfast that's like sixteen dollars, And I really so the omelet.
I got the vegetarian omelet that Igot there. I think it was nineteen
(27:41):
dollars. Yeah, three dollars morefor the atmosphere plus the Yeah, I
reserved it online like two months agoor something, and I told him it
was our two year anniversary. Wegot the best seat in the house.
We were out on the terrace atthe far end, overlooking the ocean and
overlooking like it was. Now.I'm gonna freaking make a reservation for that.
(28:03):
Okay, awesome, all right,we can end our podcast. You're
gonna owe me money, damn it. I'm trying to keep up with the
the doctor Jens. Yeah, no, you know what, it's not keeping
up with the Joneses, it's keepingup with the Gens like that. Well,
it makes me happy that I livea lifestyle now that somebody would even
(28:25):
say that about so okay okay JoeChow be I like that
Doctor Jen, as you take adrink from your hydro flask, staying drinked.
I know you have a couple ofbooks that you want to share.
Well, it's yes, at somepoint today I'd like to talk about it.
So Rubin and I my boyfriend,we celebrated our two year anniversary dating
anniversary this weekend. Congrats. OnSaturday, I saw you made a nice
(00:21):
comment on my photo of us onFacebook. We were celebrating brunch and oloya.
It was lovely. Anyway, Ican't believe it's been two years.
It's amazing. Time is going byQues, I know, but I'm so
grateful for him in so many waysand so in love with this man.
I'm just so appreciative for this relationship. And he feels exactly the same way.
(00:43):
And so one of the gifts hegave me as an anniversary gift,
and this is like what a whata perfect man for me? Is two
books. One is called Questions forCouples. It's a journal. It's four
hundred questions to enjoy, reflect andconnect with your partner. And you could
see and then so it's got questionslike do you feel that you and your
partner are currently striking a good balancebetween being a team and leading independent lives.
(01:08):
And then there's space for you tofill in answers. How do you
stay focused on your top priorities?What is one small thing you can do
to cultivate goodwill and friendship with yourpartner every day anyway? And then there's
another one that's called a Year ofUs. But before we dive into that
one, and wait, wait,the one that you just said is what's
(01:30):
it called. It's called Questions forCouples Journal. Four hundred questions I enjoy
reflect and connect with your partner.And he was so and then he gave
me another one and so but I'lltalk about that one in a bit,
but it was so sweet he gavehim to me. And then he's like,
I thought we could start doing thesetonight, and I was going to
get us stecks of cards, butthen we would just answer the questions and
(01:53):
this one we actually get to writeit down and then we can come back
and look at it. And ayear later and I was like, whoah,
pretty smart people. Sure do knowhow to make the best of your
communication skills. Yeah, well,I mean I'm sure two years ago he
might not have thought to do somethinglike this, but this is you know,
he loves this part of me.He loves the way we get to
(02:15):
communicate about everything hard things, werereflecting on things. We're working on things
always, but we're also always havingfun. So yeah, it's such a
great gift and something I can usein my work and with couples that I
work with. So it's awesome.I'm gonna be looking into it before we
do the other one. What thehell? You had some tough week last
(02:37):
week? What's going on? Letme tell you? Okay, So,
so it all started two Sundays agowith being stranded for three and a half
hours outside of Dudley's Bakery the towingcompany. If you remember, I was
telling you didn't show up right forme the run around? Okay, whatever,
cool, you know, move on, we get home. My wife's
(02:57):
super under understanding about it because Iwanted to spend time with her that day.
She was the one who suggested getout for a ride. I know
you need to, So that wasthat was awesome that she understood. But
you know, but a little roughwhen you don't plan on that. You
know, you want to have dinnerand watch a movie with your wife.
Okay, Cool, so rolling intothe week, and I don't know why
I got this in my head,but I did. I had a meeting
with my boss Taylor on Thursday.I know you told me about it at
(03:22):
the beginning of the week. Iwas literally thinking about you, wondering and
hoping that the meeting went well welland so we don't meet often, right,
And I knew it was coming,and I had asked about, you
know, when's the best time totake vacation time, and you know,
the whole thing, because I'm tryingto respect the ratings period for the radio
station and just making sure that sheis a boss. She's only been there
I think what five months now,something like that. I just want to
(03:44):
make sure that we're good, youknow, that whole thing, and that
I'm respecting the process. And Ihave a ton of time off, but
we just don't have a lot ofmeetings at all over the last four or
five months. So when one wasset for ten thirty on Thursday morning for
some reason, about a day ahead, I started to think, oh,
oh, this is it. I'mbeing let go. I don't know why
(04:05):
I just did. And then bynine o'clock Thursday morning, an hour and
a half for the meeting. Iwas convinced, I don't. I just
somehow convinced myself. I'm gone,this is it? What am I going
to do? So that really sucked, right, Yeah, So then moving
on until that afternoon. I'm atmy house and my dad calls me.
(04:29):
Does not sound good at all atall. Never heard him like this.
He says, I need you totake me to the er. His voice
sounded strange. His oh shit,well, he sounded so bad at eighty
one years old that I actually said, no, pops, that's what I
call him. I said, no, no, call an ambulance. You
do not sound good. You don'tsound like yourself. And he came back
with you know, almost, youknow almost. It sounded like he was
(04:51):
almost delirious and crying and and no, I don't want to go on an
ambulance. You he's never been likethis. I think it might have been
his voice though, actually, becausehe was so sick. Now that I
look back at it, it's probablywhat it was. You know, your
voice can sound really funny and weird. Yeah, yeah, So I took
him to the er, spent severalhours there. Now, you know,
fast forward to Friday afternoon and myson calls me and says, yeah,
(05:14):
Hey, looking forward to you guyscoming up to the show. I have
some not so great news though.My car broke down and it's stuck in
front of the theater where I'm atright now for my first show. And
I'm just like, oh God,okay, okay, let me figure out
a way to get it, Bud, long as you're good whatever. So
now fast forward to the next day, which is Saturday. Gotta go up
and get the car, Gotta gofigure out how I'm gonna do this,
(05:38):
you know, and all of thesethings. Now I'm going to back it
up. Now, that is apretty crappy week by all standards. It's
it's a scary, crappy week.But it wasn't. Let me tell you
why. It was a phenomenal week. I'm going to back up to last
Sunday, and I'm only sharing thiswith anybody listening. If you're going through
a rough time, yours might bea real rough time. Like I'm not
saying my life is falling apart.I'm just saying it's been a trying week.
(06:01):
And this is how I spun thisin my head as each thing happened.
Because a lot of people. Ohcrappy week, dude, No,
actually not at all. So let'sgo back to Sunday when I'm stuck for
three and a half hours. Italked a little bit about this with you
with my friends and next to Dudley'sgot to have great conversations and make jokes
with those friends for three and ahalf hours while we bad mouth the towing
(06:21):
company, which was kind of fun. You got to spend time with these
people, and one of them evenpointed out, dude, this is good
for you. I'm glad this happenedbecause you are always rushing off you never
have time. And I'm like,yeah, you know what, You're right,
so now let's yeah yep. ThoughtI was going to be fired,
turned out to be, Hey,here's the best time to take vacation,
(06:44):
and let's ramp up social media alittle bit. You know. It's kind
of the future of the business andthe whole thing. One thing threatening a
great meeting, just like, okay, cool up my game. Uh there's
some challenges with that because I amtrying to up my game with that,
which means I'm using a new appand doing everything on my phone. That's
a little challenging, or is it. Actually I'm learning something new that I'm
forced to learn. Yeah, sothat is a great thing. Yeah,
(07:08):
my dad at the er, theyran what do you call it? They
ran X rays on his chest,on his lungs, his heart, a
CT scan on his brain. Theydid a full panel of blood a blood
work. Turns out he had COVID. Not that that's a good thing,
no, but here's the thing.So now I'm in the truck with him
(07:29):
taking in there. We did wearmasks. The ran back and I asked,
what is my protocol now because ifhe's got this and I was just
in the truck with the doctor saysnothing, he goes. If you don't
have symptoms, you just business asusual. I said, I don't warn
anybody. He goes. You don'thave to know. He goes. It's
almost like the flu. Now hegoes. But if you get symptoms,
yes you quarantined for five days.But until then nothing, And I'm like,
okay, So I drive my dadback. I went to the store
(07:53):
and got him water and some otherstuff. Turns out my stepmother has COVID
as well, who's eighty three.Yeah, now that's rough, but think
about what could have happened. Ididn't know what was happening with my dad.
They put him in a room rightaway before they knew had COVID.
They were running all kinds of tests. It didn't look good or they wouldn't
have done that. Yeah, mudpressure was low, heartbeat was like yeah.
I was like, oh god,you know, and I've never seen
(08:16):
my dad that fragile. He's nowrecovering. It was COVID. Sure it
sucks, but he and Carmen,my stepmother, are recovering. Could have
been a lot worse. Now let'sfast forward to my son and his car.
He was not on the freeway whenthe car went could put Oh thank
god, and a freeway in LAduring primetime traffic is not good, so
(08:39):
he was not harmed. He madeit to his destination, to his job
because it's a professional theater. Yeah. And the next day, let's fast
forward to that. I'm in theshop after being offered several trailers by friends
to go up and get this carright. Yea, even my buddy's triple
A he offered that does two hundredmiles a to I don't even know anybody
(09:01):
else who has a two hundred milerange of towing a vehicle. On Triple
A. I didn't know it wentthat high, so I was gonna use
that. But at the shot,my buddy Lawn goes, hey, dude,
what are you up to today?I said, I got to pick
up my son's car. Told himstory. He goes, well, I'm
not doing anything. Let me driveup in the truck behind you. I'll
drive my truck, hook Bob's trailerup. Bob Lloyd who loaned me the
trailer next door it to Lloyd's collisionand paint. And yes, that was
a shameless plug. He he wentover, picked it up for me,
(09:26):
hooked it up so that I couldgo home, clean my truck out,
and leave my truck with my soninstead of having to make two trips to
take it with the trailer. Sowe get there and I go, dude,
I go, I gotta pay you. I gotta do something. And
then and I looked at my sonand I said, look, I know
the plan was for us to getthe trailer back down with your car to
(09:48):
San Diego and then Mom and Icome back up to watch your show.
But at this rate, I'm notgonna make it. There's no way I'll
make it. So Mom's gonna comeup alone. I'll see it August third.
At least I can see it once. He goes, okay, I
get it. Dad. Lawn looksat me and goes, no, you're
not. He goes, I'm drivingthe trailer down, the truck the car.
I will drop it off. Ohhere's another thing. My friend Tom
(10:09):
finds out about this and goes,hey, dude, don't drop it off
at your house, drop it offat mine, because he's a former mechanic.
And he goes, just let melook at it for you, so
you at least know what you're gettinginto. I said, wait, really,
he said yeah. So Ln takesthe vehicle drops it off at Tom's
house and I asked Tom too,I said, are you okay with this?
Because I feel like I'm abandoning youguys doing me such a huge favor.
(10:30):
He goes, Nope, see yourson's show. Right. So I
found out I didn't find out.I was reminded this week about how blessed
I am, and especially in thearea of friendship. I am not a
rich man monetarily I do, okay, but I'm telling you I have several
not just one or two. Ihave many lifelong friends who would give anything
(10:54):
for me and I them, andI will tell you, doctor Jen,
it is a blessed, phenomenal week. That is just me wanting to share
my perspective. Now, this carmay cost me a lot of money.
I don't know, and I don'thave it right now, but it's okay.
You know what I have. Ihate to say it if I need
it a credit card, but atleast I have it if I have to.
Yeah. So the just all ofthat could have gone much worse.
(11:16):
Yes, didn't it was. Itwas a challenging, stressful week and everything
turned out quite well. And youhave so much gratitude for your friends that
stepped in and helped out in trulyunexpected ways. It's it's fricking awesome.
And I'm telling you, I dopray a lot, Jen. I'm telling
(11:37):
you, doctor Jen. I knowsometimes you may get sick of hairing this,
but Jen, I'm not trying topush my stuff on anybody else.
But I got to recognize God hasblessed me and has watched out for me
and my son and my father.That's just how it is. So Yeah,
Anyway, if you're having a badweek, you know what, maybe
you can turn it around. Idon't know that's what I did. Well,
(11:58):
there is, there's a lot tobe so for one of the keys
of happiness and like sustainable happiness inlife is to find things to be grateful
for and to literally make a dailypractice of that and to see I think
the only you know, I'll speakto you know, what you're doing,
I think is great, right becauseyou know, it was a tough week
(12:20):
and you saw so much positive init, and that's a great way to
move through life. I would saythat only dangers. Sometimes when folks do
stuff like that of what I callquote unquote toxic positivity, they literally won't
allow themselves to acknowledge that something's hardor that they're struggling, or that they're
suffering, or if someone else's they'llbe like, you know, only positive
(12:43):
vibes, no bad energy, andthat's horrible and it's bullshit. And those
are people who are afraid to feelnegative things. That is not like higher
vibration in this world. That isfear based. Yeah, and then you're
asked to other people. So thatis a weird thing that, especially in
(13:03):
southern California, we have around likeyou know, positive energy and but like
yeah, so listen. I'm I'mwith you on that, and this is
why this was not that for me. No, I can tell it's not.
No, it doesn't feel that way. It is, And just to
be clear for anybody listening, thereason that it's not is it did start
that way. It started out whereI was just pissed off and oh my
(13:24):
god, what the fuck else cango wrong? And then I just stopped
and you know where it's you knowwhere it turned around in the truck ride
taking my son back up to LAto get his car and leave him there
while he does his show, becausethe show must go on. He's not
gonna lose his job over this.And I went, oh my god,
you know what I get an Iget two hours in the truck with you
(13:46):
that I wouldn't have had. Andyou came down last night. You weren't
coming home for a couple of months. Yeah, but it forced him to.
And that's where I turned it around. That's where I went, you
know what, I'm not going tohave this kind of attitude. I'm gonna
I'm gonna look at this as whatcould have gone wrong and did not,
and how lucky and blessed I am. So No, I get it though,
because there are people You're right thatyou're just like, shut the fuck
(14:07):
up. Well and there. Andthe thing is what when I've come across
that, which has been frequent,they they are very self righteous about it.
Because I've I've based this like whenI've done workshops and because my you
know, I if people aren't addressingtheir struggles and their suffering and their insecurities
(14:28):
and their fears, and and ifthat means first of all, they're not
being honest with themselves and then givingthemselves the space to actually process it and
move through it, they just likepretend it's not there and stuff it down.
Oh it's what I call putting icingon a ship cupcake, right,
And I was like, no,I could, I could still smell the
shit. But they are really bullingthemselves. And then the problem with those
(14:50):
people. At the core of compassionis compassion for other people is recognizing their
struggles, recognizing that they're suffering insome way, recognizing that they're having a
hard time, and it's having themindfulness and the courage to actually be able
to sit within feel that if youare a good ViBe's only person, not
(15:13):
only are you denying your truth inyour own personal growth. You're also not
able to be compassionate to other people, and that's what serial killers are made
of, by the way, Butno, you you actually you were.
I think if I remember the firstperson who made me sit and realize,
let it settle, Let that uneasinesssettle and recognize where it's coming from,
(15:35):
and sit with it long enough.Yeah, not too long, but long
enough to recognize and move on fromit and build from there. Which I
still remember that you told me this. That's the core of my your ago
I think six months ago or whateverit was. No, it was why
it was probably a few years ago. That's at the core of my book,
how to Build Comfort with Discomfort.That's right, that's when you said,
I just couldn't remember the time.Yeah, yeah, yeah, and
(15:56):
then you know, tying it intothen my friend Sarah who's a big fan
of the show, Sarah shier HiSarah Hi, Sarah of the Compassionate nonprofit
like I learned all about compassion andcompassion research through her and classes that she
teaches. So, oh wait,hold on, since we were just doing
a shout out, can you doanother shout out to my sister's birthday?
(16:18):
This week. Hey, happy twentyninth birthday, sister. She's I could
say, she doesn't care. She'sfifty four. She'll turn fifty four tomorrow.
We're recording on July seventeenth, Sohappy birthday, teener, and I'll
be I'll be there next week soI'll get to celebrate in person with her.
We're gonna do it. We haveto do it. It's gonna it's
gonna be a tune ou, butlet's do it. Happy birthday day to
(16:41):
you, give it all you got. Happy birthday to you, as doctor
jenn Is bouncing hap. Happy birthday, dear Teene, Happy birthday too you.
That was me blowing out your candle. Hey, we've never sag any
(17:03):
happy birthday to anybody on this show. I guess because people don't like it.
I'm sure. Oh did that soundhorrible? Well? I am positive
My sister is gleeful right now,and that's worth it. That's all that
matters. Our three listeners who justtuned out now they're back in. I
don't it's worth it. Everyone elseis warrified. Okay, Well, let
me get back to then. Thosebooks that I said Reuben gave me and
(17:27):
I wanted to share this other one, which is the one I've already started,
because we don't live together, youknow, and we see each other
multiple times a week, but helives with his kids halftime, and he's
up in Rancho Penasquitos and I'm downin Pacific Beach in San Diego, and
so we have about twenty twenty fiveminutes between us. So and I always
know when you're at your house,by the way, recording on zoom and
his, because with yours it's amulti colored brick wall background and with his
(17:52):
it's these really nice palm trees allyeah in his kitchen. Yeah, really
really nice. Either one I like. Yeah. So the other book he
got me is called A Couple's Journal, A year of us, one question
a day to spark fun and meaningfulconversations. And so I started it.
And so what I thought I'd dothat if we're together on a day,
(18:15):
then we could fill it out together. But I started it two days ago,
and so on July fifteenth, Istarted it and it says what's your
idea of a special weekend together andwhy? And so then you could see
Clint. So it's got like halfa page space in this journal, and
so I took up like half thespit and just put Jay for me,
and then I left the space forhim to write in his and then I
(18:37):
did day two, which is,what are the words you would most like
to hear me utter about you inmy sleep? Such an interesting question.
Now, wait, just so sothat I because I was so interested in
looking at your book, I didn'thear something you said, is this the
first book or this is the secondbook you were going to show us?
Well, I showed you the firstone that was four hundred questions, and
(19:00):
then this is a day by daythough, so it's numbered day wise.
Okay, because I think this one'sone I have even more interesting because I
like that day by day stuff.Yeah, no, it's super cool.
The other one is really great.I would suggest four because I'm gonna start
suggesting it to clients to use ona date night, to use on a
long road trip, to use ona weekend away. Just flip through the
book and ask each other some questions. I think that is great because there's
(19:22):
four hundred of them, like,huh, pick some good ones. But
then this one is a really niceday by day thing, and like literally
you're talking you and your partner sitdown like less than five minutes and jot
down your answers, so my thoughts. Since we don't live together, I'm
going to also do day three today. So, which is what famous story
book or movie character did you relateto most as a child and how did
(19:44):
it reflect your inner struggle at thattime in your life. I actually have
no idea how I'm going to answerthat. Yeah, you think about that
one. I was never kind ofwired like that, so, I mean,
nor was I honestly. I meanI'm a big movie guy, but
yeah, I never thought as akid, who who do I most?
Well? Anyway, Yeah, itwas funny. I think of the fawns
on TV. Well, not thatI identify. He was just the one
(20:07):
that I was like, Oh,that's who I want to be, you
know? Or is that what itmeans? I guess that's what it means,
right, It could absolutely. Yeah, it's not a movie, but
it's a TV show. Yeah.You I can't even imagine because you're not
a movie buff or a TV buff. No. I mean I I read
books all the time, though,so and of course, well here's the
thing. I'm not a buff becauseI just don't remember things like your brain
does, and so many other men'sbrains seem to. I mean, I
(20:30):
watched TV, I watched movies.I loved all of that, and I
read all the time. So Iwas constantly surrounded by, you know,
characters, but I wasn't sort ofwired that, you know, I didn't
have like an inner struggle that then, you know, I could identify with
a character who gave me strength orcourage or a different way of doing thing.
That's not how I don't I don'tknow that's that's not how your emotions
(20:52):
or your brain works. No,they don't. I wait, let me
ask you this real quick. Holdon, because that's a great Now that
you've said this, I get stucksometimes on work books like mine. Is
the disease to please? Yes,certain thing, I'm like, I don't
know how they want me to dothis or how I want to do this.
I don't get it. Yeah,what do you do? Then?
Do you skip it? Or doyou no? So I was thinking about
(21:15):
for me, But then I startedthinking about what was there certain characters I'm
particularly in a book that I justmost loved. And I mean there was
once I read when I was alittle kid, there was like the Beverly
Cleary books and stuff like that andNancy Drew and I know I like that,
but I actually don't like nothing specificstays with me. So honestly,
(21:37):
the book that I most remember fromlike I think my Maybeh I was fourteen
or something, fifteen sixteen, Idon't know was the book it by Stephen
King. Oh my god, Iread that book and it was like eight
hundred and fifty pages. I readthat book, yes, and it was
so like I still feel it,like I miss those characters when I was
(21:59):
done. It was so compelling,it was scary. I think it was
my first like real introduction to likehorror and scary movies like that. And
but I so I don't know.That doesn't answer the question, But that's
probably what I would do if Idon't have an answer for the question.
I'm gonna whatever still comes to mind, I'm gonna jot that down so that
I'm still answering something and still givingsomething of myself. I mean, that's
what most matters with these questions,that you're revealing something that maybe you haven't
(22:23):
talked about before with your partner oryou haven't shared in a while. But
see, I love that because thefact that you're even talking about this because
just by chance you're you're telling usabout these books, and here you come
to a point where you're like,I'm not sure how to answer it,
but I'm gonna find a way,And now that helps me, and maybe
there's others like me, because Iget stuck and I just spend it in
my mind going, well, Iwant to answer this correct I get way
(22:47):
over analytical. Well I'm not surewhat they mean, and how do I
answer this? And and well I'mnot sure, so I'll skip it.
But I don't want to skip itbecause I don't want to move forward past
it, and then I get stuck. Seriously, so I would to me,
I think it's better to be totake the approach. There's not a
perfect way to do it. Ifyou are. If you're not answering questions
because they feel too scary or youwant to avoid her and they feel too
(23:08):
uncomfortable, excuse me, that's onething. Make yourself answered. If you're
not answering because you're like A,I actually don't feel like I have an
answer, it doesn't resonate with me. Then just jot something down, or
even jot that down, and thenmove on to the next one. The
thing is also sometimes I know whenI've done that because the question got planted
in my head. It could bea few days later and then I'm like,
oh my god, I totally dohave an answer for it. And
(23:30):
then you can go back to it, but just don't. Don't let it
stop you like, let it,let it shift to match who you are,
and then keep moving forward. Andthen so let me read tomorrow's I
haven't even read this one yet.If you could be totally absolved of something
you regret, what would you askforgiveness for? Oh my god, boy,
(23:51):
that would dig out the worms?Wow? I don't know. Yeah,
god, I mean, I'd liketo think I haven't done too many
horrible things. But boy, ifyou dig deep on that one, I
know what's that book? This one? This is a year of us one
question a day to spark fun andmeaningful conversations. Okay by Alicia Munnos.
Oh god, Alicia Munos, Ohno, is this not gonna? Let
(24:15):
me hold on my computers, giveme fun, shut up? And it's
a year of us. Yeah.Wait, why do you say shut up?
What's going on? The author?I think? I I think I
wrote a blurb for her like twoyears ago with another book she had.
I reviewed the book. I think, oh my god, this is only
seven ninety five paperback. Really really, I don't know. Yeah, it's
(24:40):
fourteen ninety nine on the back.Does it look like this? Yeah,
but yours is hardcover. Mine ismine? No, it's soft. No,
it's soft cover for seven ninety five. Yeah. Oh is it because
it's prime. No, it doesn'tsay it's crime. Oh, that's right,
it is prime. I'm doing it. I'm ordering this right Noway,
a year of US one US.I don't know this one meaningful conversations at
least, that's it. Yeah,hell yes, Oh my god, yeah,
(25:03):
it's fifteen so funny. I didn'teven look at the author's names on
these, and I was like,I actually recognize her. So anyway,
so my thought to do, sincewe don't live together, and for other
folks who may be in that boat, I'm going to fill it out every
day and then give it to himand then he's got to play catch up
a little bit. Yeah, andthen he'll have it then, you know,
till I see him again. Sohe'll have it for a couple of
(25:25):
these, and we could just keepswapping it back and forth, and so
then he'll fill out the days whenI'm not there, and then when I
get it back, I'll fill thosein and then keep moving forward. I
love that, and it's but here'sthe thing too, that it's you may
have said this, I apologize,and now I'm ordering this as we speak
because I don't want to drop theball on this. No, no,
no, this is resonating with me. And normally you say, don't do
other stuff, but I gotta getthis ordered. The thing is is it's
(25:48):
not just good for you as acouple. I think this is amazing for
you just as a person, eventhough you're trying to share it with the
other person. Yeah, I'll betit's things that you haven't thought about ever
or in years, like things likeoh yeah, yeah, no, what
about that? Yeah No, Ithink it's super interesting. I mean,
it's fun, and it truly does. If it's taking you more than a
few minutes, then maybe the questionisn't resonating with you. And then,
(26:10):
like I said, that's okay rightdown. You know, I don't have
an answer for this, but thisis what popped in my mind, So
somehow it's connected in my brain evenif it doesn't answer the question. And
I'm so frickin Alicia Muno's right,yeah, okay, it'll come up Munos.
Yeah, yeah, there it is. Okay, yeah, yeah,
I'm ordering it. This is great. And the other one was the Couple's
(26:33):
Quiz book, uh questions for Couple'sJournal, four hundred questions to enjoy.
I mean, I won't do thatone yet because I don't want to get
like no, yeah, yeah,eight us. I haven't done any one
of them. The one a yearone I think is a good place to
start. So I love that anyway. And ye Rubin for getting such neat
anniversary. Seriously, that bohunk deservesa credit. Yeah, and then we
(26:56):
always do. We had a beautifulbrunch at Lava Alencia in La Joya.
We went for Sunday brunch there.So if it's too personal, you don't
have to answer. I'm gonna lookit up anyway, is it. I
mean it's probably fairly expensive because Ithought about taking my wife to that,
but I never really Oh yeah,I know, I've actually never eaten there.
I only had a drink there,but I was like, I'm always
like, oh, this is superexpensive. You know what it wasn't.
(27:18):
It wasn't nearly as expensive as Ithought at all, basically because like in
peb Pacific Beach, here used tobe cheap food and since COVID times price
has gone up. Go to likea just a cafe and get like an
omelet for breakfast that's like sixteen dollars, And I really so the omelet.
I got the vegetarian omelet that Igot there. I think it was nineteen
(27:41):
dollars. Yeah, three dollars morefor the atmosphere plus the Yeah, I
reserved it online like two months agoor something, and I told him it
was our two year anniversary. Wegot the best seat in the house.
We were out on the terrace atthe far end, overlooking the ocean and
overlooking like it was. Now.I'm gonna freaking make a reservation for that.
(28:03):
Okay, awesome, all right,we can end our podcast. You're
gonna owe me money, damn it. I'm trying to keep up with the
the doctor Jens. Yeah, no, you know what, it's not keeping
up with the Joneses, it's keepingup with the Gens like that. Well,
it makes me happy that I livea lifestyle now that somebody would even
(28:25):
say that about so okay okay JoeChow be I like that
Sex Talk with Clint & The Doc News
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