What did Clint's therapist give him as homework? How was the total solar eclipse experience for Dr. Jenn in Texas? And a reminder to listeners for Sexual Assault Awareness Month.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Doctor jan good day. You justwhat arrived last night at like one thirty
in the morning. I did.I just flew back. However, before
we I have lots to share frommy Texas adventure. I just your dad
just gave a quick call and youjust said, hey, I'm about to
do a podcast. And I've noticedbefore, and then you said, I
mean because literally you were on thephone with him for like five seconds.
(00:21):
You're like, hey, I'm aboutto quick podcast, Like, can I
call you back? And he goesyeah, And then you said love you
and he said love you too.And I've noticed that before. Are you
one of those people that it's afraidafraid if you don't say it, like
bad things will happen, like youfeel like you have to say it,
And he says, is the lasttime you talk to that person? No,
I say it. Okay, Ijust love him and I tell him
(00:43):
I love him and like my kidsand my wife and yeah, oh yeah,
okay. No, it's not becauseI'm afraid of anything. I just
it is my I just want themto know I love them. Yeah,
okay, even though if you sayit every time, you know, sometimes
people say it has less meaning thenbecause you're just saying it out of you
know rotes, you know, patternsinstead of so I know the meaning each
(01:07):
time you say it. I getwhat you're saying. But for me it
means as much as it did thelast twenty times. Nice. Just I
just love them. Yeah, myhero, he's my pops. He's amazing,
My kids are amazing, my wifeall that. Yep, yeah yeah,
but my pop he is eighty one, so definitely, like you know,
there's yeah, oh are we my? Are we we breaking up?
(01:30):
Some? Are you getting me clear? Well I'm getting clear. But it
just said internet connection unstable for asecond, but now it's bad. Okay,
okay, Yeah, you were breakingup a little bit for me.
Yeah my day. You were sayingyour dad's eighty one. My dad just
turned eighty two two days ago,so happy birthday to him. Oh oh
yeah, I'm losing you some Clint. Oh No, I don't know.
(01:53):
I don't know what's going on.I know it's never it doesn't usually happen
from your end. Well, let'sgive it a shot as long as we
can. Okay, Well like wavingyeah, wave to me if you lose
me or something. And sex Talkwith Clinton The Doc Podcast it'll be sex
off with click and that's end.It'll be said, right Clinton, sexyt
(02:15):
Yeah wait wait wait side note.You just reminded me it's something back in
grad school. So this was beforeI think it was before I had an
answering machine, you know, howlike right, so you know we never
used to know who was calling?Right? So this was before caller ID,
(02:35):
I think, so I know Ihad an answering machine. So this
was like mid nineties in grad school. I had an answering machine, but
I didn't have caller ID yet.I don't know when we got that on
home phones. Do you have anyidea do you remember caller ID? Was
that the eighties or the ninety eighties? I feel like it was the nineties.
I don't know. It's only Bluriam. All I know is is this
(03:00):
one person I went to grad schoolwith who and I hated? Are you
looking this up right now? Yep? But I'm looking No, you're not.
It is impossible for the human brain. It is impossible for the human
brain to do that. While Itype this, it's the Sember nineteen eighty
eight, I can't wait. Wait, how did it show? Did we
have a machine that did it like, how did we and it showed who
(03:23):
was calling. I thought I thoughtthat was when you could get caller idea.
Yeah, I think it was throughyour answering machine. Wait, you're
right hold on, yeah, becausewe didn't have anything showing on the phone.
Here pone rose up again. Oh, and now you're totally frozen.
I don't know if this is stillrecording and what it's recording. Clan you're
frozen come back. Huh. Well, this doesn't make for a very good
(03:51):
podcast. I could hello, hey, Yeah, I don't know what happened.
It just restarted itself. Yeah,I just I got your just got
your text that it said you're I'mfrozen and you were frozen for me?
(04:11):
I was, And then I starteddoing a Vachina monologue because I wasn't sure
if it was if our listeners werestill going to hear it or not.
So I won't know until we AndI wonder if that cut off the beginning
of the podcast too. Now,yeah, well you'll have to go back
and find out if you're we're inthe middle of the beginning of what were
(04:35):
we talking about? It was youwere talking about as I was looking up
the answers. Oh, yeah,yeah, right, so there is what
is it? Coller? I dso so funny. I can't remember that
anyway. So, yeah, therewas somebody in my grad school class who
used to call and then would justtalk and talk and talk and talk on
(04:58):
the phone. And I literally thatthing that we were just doing, that
we were pretending we were getting cutoff. I literally started faking that.
I would crumble some paper in thebackground and I'd go, hey, I
can't it's okay, cutting us.I can't. Can you hear me?
And I would literally and he'd belike, oh, you're cutting out.
(05:20):
And I'll be like, oh,man, I don't know what's going on.
It's just got a weird connection.And then I would do it again
and then I would just hang up. Man, you know what, you're
pretty good at that. And youknow what, But the funny thing is
you did what you're supposed to dowhen you cut words out. You see
people sometimes do it like this andthis is wrong. Oh yes, okay,
what's going on to the market today? And maybe we can go down
(05:41):
to the beach and so then wecan go to the market. They don't
cut words out, they just pauseand use then oh yeah, So the
way you did it was perfect.It'd be like Dr Denn, So next
week we're gonna about and then wecan do about an hour. Yeah,
good, okay, you know thatthat's the way you do it. Yes,
(06:01):
very very well, Hey, gothat practice. And then I literally
would hang up and I'd sit thereand then you would call back and I
wouldn't answer, and it would justbe because the thing is, this was
somebody who wouldn't listen, wouldn't takeques, wouldn't ask questions, would just
literally go on and on and repeatthe same thing and go on and on.
And I was like, you arenot a good conversationalist. You're not
(06:24):
being mindful of me and my time. I'm trying to interrupt and say I
have to go, and you willjust keep talking. So I was like,
all right, this is what we'lldo. And then I was so
excited when I got caller. Id yeah, people that you know,
I love the tears. But samething. It's like you say you've got
to go, and they go okay, and then they go right into the
next thing three four and five times. I know, because it's all about
(06:47):
them and they have their heads uptheir own asses. Now I can talk
with the best of them. Isometimes need to shut up, and I
don't. But when someone tells methey have to go, I go,
all right, cool, this lastthing, all right, and I'm good,
have a great day. Okay,you too. But it is literally,
hey, I gotta go. Yeah, oh man, let me tell
you there's this one friend of minewho good, good, could good?
(07:09):
And then you wait till the endof that story, and then you go,
okay, hey, listen, Igotta run. Yeah, yeah,
no, I totally get. Wecan, we can let things go.
Oh and you know, another getAnd I'm just like, oh my god.
You know, I got to getback to do that. Knock it
off. I got to get backto writing my ebook on Generous Listening that
addresses things like that. It hasbeen on the back burner because I've been
(07:31):
busy. But okay, wait,we were going. You were going to
share with us your letter that youwrote to your youngest son for his eighteenth
birthday, like you did two yearsago for your older son. Yes,
but I didn't email it like Ithought I did. I did it on
my wife's computer, on the worddocument, which she just took to La.
She's leaving for the weekend. Literallysixty seconds before I got on with
(07:56):
you and it Yeah, yeah,it's it's I don't have a copy.
I need to get it. Okay, all right, next time. Okay,
wait, you said your wife's away for the weekend. It was
like, well, the cots away, the mice will play. No,
well, I mean I might drinka little bit. I would drink if
she were here. Anyway. Iknow. The thing is, it's you
know, it's it's so I'm usuallygood day one man, the school awesome.
(08:18):
It's not answer to you, butI'm good underwear or whatever. Like
you don't normally fart in your underwear? What are you farting in? Well?
Meaning okay, all right, meaninganywhere I want in the house.
Oh you don't do that already.Yeah. I try to hold back anyway.
So then day two, about halfwaythrough, I'm like, all right,
(08:39):
okay, cool whatever. But thenby the night number two, I'm
ready for whoever's gone to be back. It's back to you and I where
we talk about our personality traits andwhat we what we like and what we
need and you know mine people,it's people. I don't get me wrong,
doctor Jen. There are times andI'm just like I'm my god,
I just want to sit and donothing, nobody anything. But it's very
(09:03):
rare and it's very short lived,because when are you just enjoyed it ever
alone? Like do you are youever alone at home much? And or
traveling? Are you always surrounded bypeople and haven't been for like decades?
Okay, so for decades yes,But I mean if you count the dogs,
then I'm home alone a bit.You know, when my boys in
school, my wife's at work.Did I tell you about my therapist,
(09:24):
by the way, who asked methis very question? No, I didn't
talk about this. No, oh, this is bizarre. This is day
jaboo. Two weeks ago. Uh, three weeks ago. She goes,
are you ever alone? Yeah?I go, well, not really?
I go, well, yeah,you know dogs? She goes, no,
no, no, no, Imean just you, no other living,
(09:45):
breathing thing that you have to tendto. And I go probably not
except in the truck, you know, on the way to work and maybe
back, and on the way back. I'm usually on the phone on the
way in the morning. It's soreally, I don't call anybody. So
yeah, well, but do youget how insane is we're talking about being
alone. I'm thinking about being alonefor like days, or traveling or out
somewhere. You're talking twenty minutes ina truck alone. That's insane. That
(10:09):
that's the best you can come upwith. Now, as somebody who lives
alone and travels alone often, thatblows my mind. Well, so it's
funny because she got into this withme and she said, do you enjoy
your own company? That's how itstarted. And I go, I guess.
She goes, and that's what shewent into. Are you ever alone?
(10:31):
And I go, well, yeah, the dogs. She goes,
now nothing, no one else,nothing, just you. I said no,
she goes, all right, ifyou would allow me, I'm going
to give you some homework. Isaid, go for it. Yay,
what's your homework? Well, Idid it already and I need to do
it again because now it's for twoweeks. But she said, I want
you to get on your bike orin your car, or walk down to
(10:52):
a restaurant, do whatever you've gotto do, to a place to just
sit and eat by yourself, ordo something by yourself. Yes, where
you're not talking to somebody, you'renot bringing somebody, you're not on the
phone with somebody, and I go, well, wait, so why can't
like What if I go to arestaurant that I know people because I like
it? She goes, no,pick somewhere now, Yes, I go
(11:13):
okay. So I went to RanchHouse in Lakeside and I pulled up.
I was on the phone with mybuddy Mark, and I said, hey,
I gotta go. I won't beon the phone for the next however
long because this is my homework withmy therapist and I'm I'm gonna follow through.
And he goes, good for you, dude, Yeah, shut the
phone off. And she even said, do not get on your phone either.
Yeah. Well, because normally thenpeople just sit and, you know,
and scroll on their phone the wholetime. Yes. So I said,
(11:37):
well, can I bring it inwith me? And she goes,
yes, but do not use it. The only reason you have it with
you is if you need for anemergency. That's it. And I go
okay. So I put it onthe table, I order my food,
and I even asked, I wasasking all kinds of questions, I'm over
analytical, And I go, okay, Well, what happens if the waitress
gets into a conversation or the waiterwith me. I mean, do I
be rude or what? She goes, No, here's the thing, do
(11:58):
not get or give any life story. She goes, order your food,
be polite and that's the end ofit. Unless you need water or something.
She goes, no, just sitand be and I go okay.
So I did about forty five minutes, maybe an hour, and I got
to tell you, doctor Jan whenI walked out of there and got in
the truck. I then got onmy phone go buy my business. I
absolutely loved it. The first tenminutes, very like, man, I
(12:24):
don't want to talk, but Iwas able to observe the room, yeah
pictures and the signs on the yeah, and watch another family, a big
family like eight or ten people withkids interacting and one kid was humming and
the other kid was eating their littlecereal and it I was talking that.
I really thought it was cool.And then I had to catch myself though
not to stare too long, becauseyeah, be that weirdo. Yeah.
(12:46):
Right, So I'm like, oh, you know, so I'm looking around,
just dart in my eyes everywhere.Then I would just kind of look
forward, straight ahead at the otherside of the booth and just think and
I'm gonna do it again. Ithought it was cool. Did you find
yourself like actually slowing down and eatingand like enjoying your food more? Yes,
yeah I did. I sat,I just enjoyed my food. I
(13:09):
kind of semi intentionally, you know, ate a little slower, but I
wouldn't say it was one hundred percentintentional. Is I found myself doing that?
Yeah? I really did. That'sawesome. That's really because if you
look, I will sometimes make myselfif I'm waiting in line somewhere, to
be like, Okay, you're justgonna wait line. You're not gonna do
(13:31):
anything else. You're gonna do whatwe used to do. I'm not gonna
pull out your phone and just sitthere and sit with that feeling that it's
which feels rather uneasy, of feelingbored, that were not entertained, that
we're not distracted, and that you'rejust present in the moment when there's nothing
to do. I mean, althoughyou had a meal there. That is
(13:54):
absolutely like there is some like lostart of like boredom and being in the
moment. Oh yeah, so,and I think that is an amazing skill.
It is it's a skill to practicethat is long loss, which is
unfortunate and I'm very guilty of it. And another example is even watching movies
and TV shows, I am halfthe time on my phone, scroll and
(14:15):
getting back to it. Sometimes I'llintentionally put my phone down and go knock,
get off. Yeah, I willtell you. Ed Sheeran was on
the I Love this guy. He'sEnglish Graham Norton show. Yeah, funny
as hell. That's so funny.Yeah, he's so good at what he
does. But anyway, Ed Sheeron, I just saw this couple of days
ago. Now I think it's abrand new interview. Somehow they got on
(14:37):
the subject in this clip that Iwas watching about him. Is it true
you don't have a phone? Hegoes, No, I still do not
have a phone. He goes,I do not own a phone. And
it's like, wait, what,especially in his business, So what he
does instead? He goes, Icommunicate via email? He goes, I
have a an iPad. That's whatI have. He goes, I communicate
via email. He goes, Ijust and he goes in. It's so
(15:00):
liberating and I'm like, oh mygod, yeah, yeah, I'm telling
you, doctor Jen are there aremoments, especially in my business it's like
you are never not available, whichis not okay. It's not like what
what's become normal of how companies treattheir employees and what they expect from them
around the clock. Yep, notokay. Not good for us mentally or
(15:22):
emotionally, not good for family livesand relationships, none of it. I
remember you're frozen. But can youhear me? Uh oh, you froze
up again. M hm, youfroze up. You're back, okay.
You froze up with a funny lookon your face, like you look like
you were about to sneeze. Well, here's the thing. The I remember
(15:46):
a few years ago, and Ilove my old boss, but I remember
a few years ago when here wasthe conversation we had. Hey, I'm
trying to get a hold of sales. I need to get this last commercial
in because it's starts Monday, andI leave tomorrow morning for South Lake Tahoe
Thursday morning through Sunday, and youknow, I need to get this commercial
(16:08):
in but they haven't done it.What do I do? I guess just
you know, just it starts lateror whatever. I don't know what else
to do. I've tried for afew days no, you do the commercial.
I go, yeah, but ifI'm leaving, She goes, well,
what time are you home Sunday night? And I go from Lake Tahoe
riding five hundred and thirty miles.Yeah, I go ten o'clock. And
she goes, then maybe you needto come in and do it then,
and I literally I laughed. Igo, ah, I go And then
(16:30):
I looked at her and I go, wait, you're not kidding, Oh
my god, no, And Igo okay, and I walked away.
I was pissed. You should havebeen pissed. And did you do it?
What'd you do? No? Becausethey got a hold of me like
an hour later, and I didit, you know when it should have
been done. But the thing was, I also remember and again this is
this is a great person, afriend, but she was also conditioned by
(16:52):
her boss. Is that that's howit goes right, So it trickles down.
But the thing is, I'll alwaysremember this too. Hey, did
you not get the email yesterday?I said, no, it was Sunday.
I didn't check my email. I'mtrying not to on Sundays anymore.
And she goes, you need to. You need to check it every day.
And I'm like okay, wow,oh wow, huh. That is
(17:12):
when my perception changed of yes,the working world. Yes, And as
you said, that is not okay. No, this is not okay.
Let's become normal is not at allgood for us? No, okay,
I got it. I don't knowhow much time we have, but I
got two things to share. SoI was just in San Antonio and that
(17:36):
area of Texas, and I flewout my boyfriend and I flew out Sunday
night late because we had you know, he's a cancer researcher, and we
did a twenty five mile cancer researchfundraiser like bike ride, pedal for the
cause, padres Pedal for the cause. Getting heard of that, Yeah,
we did that Sunday morning. Sowe ride twenty five miles. You get
(17:59):
to go the Coronado Bridge and it'sall for a fundraiser. I did it
last year with him too. Yeahhe did it. Yeah, he's done
it many years in a row.Anyway. So then we flew out late
that night, got in San Antonioarea, took an uber out to this
town called Bernie. It's about thirtyminutes without traffic outside San Antonio, you
(18:21):
know, checking our hotel at likeone in the morning, get you know,
got some sleep. My sister showedup about nine thirty that morning.
She had flown in from Philadelphia.She had spent the weekend in Austin and
then came down as she had arental car. And we were all there
to see the full solar eclips becauseI had gone up to Oregon back in
twenty seventeen, which we you knowwhat I was thinking, I think we're
(18:42):
already doing the podcast then, soI probably talked about it on this podcast
and what it is to see inthe total solar eclips and how it is
like literally most awe inspiring experience.What's the look on your face right now?
Because I can't believe you of sucha monumental moments with this eclipse all
(19:03):
over the news, all over socialmedia where we were reporting on a couple
of days ago, and here youwere there. Yes, well, and
I think because it was my secondone, so I think I am an
officially like an eclipse chaser now eclipsein like like half our airplane, our
Southwest flight Sunday night, was flyingto Texas to see the eclipse next day.
I had picked that area literally ayear ago and I had talked to
(19:26):
my boyfriend Ruben about it. Iwas like, I did this in twenty
seventeen. I go, you haveto come see you have to experience totality.
It is one of the most aweinspiring experiences I have ever had.
You only get a few minutes,It's incredible. And then I had talked
it so much up with my sisterthat then she decided to come down for
and join us. So and thenI had done all the research. In
(19:49):
southern Texas was supposed to be thebest likelihood of clear skies anywhere in the
country. But they were predicting thislike well in advance. Well come Monday,
and what they had been picting forthe week was total overcast and even
rain and storms. Yeah, theycanceled event too or something. Yeah,
And I ended up getting some ofthat weather in San Antonio two nights ago.
(20:11):
It was insane, but so butthankfully, you know, we had
a rental car. So my sistercame and picked us up and we had
She came around nine thirty, broughtbrought coffee and uh Starbucks breakfast for us.
And we had all been looking atcloud maps and predictions and like where
there might be traffic and where togo and the line, you know,
because you're you only have this pathof totality that covers a few hours span
(20:37):
and at least in terms of driving, and so yeah, and so the
three of us were, you know, checking our phones and doing everything,
and we hit the road. Totalitywas gonna be about one thirty in the
afternoon, and we'd have it forabout three and a half minutes, and
so we just we went to onedestination, Fredericksburg, and all these people
were out in the community park.It was like adorable, but there was
all these clouds, and so wekept driving. We kept driving. We
(21:00):
ended up in We drove for severalhours, ended up being like two hours
away from San Antonio. But wekept like driving and stopping and checking all
the information. And then we're likewe worked so well as a team.
It was really good. We're listeningto a soundtrack all about songs that had
to do with like the sun andthe moon and so like that was the
(21:22):
moon rise. Yep, what's uhsitting on the dock? Was that?
I think so? Because then theysay something about the sun. Maybe I'm
wrong. Here comes the sun,little darling. Yes, totally clips of
the Hearts O My God and thedance version, which is super fun.
(21:45):
Anyway, Uh, three of ushad a blast had all these My sister
Christine had picked up all these snacksand foods for us from Trader Joe's and
so it was just we you know, it was like a whole road trip
day, not knowing where we endup. And yeah, we ended up
in this little weird park in Mason, Texas that had clear enough skies and
(22:08):
so then we were there around noonat twelve fifteen. Then the partially clips
was starting, so we had ourglasses and my sister wanted to make a
tinfoil hat for herself and take pictures, so we did that. Like we
were just totally very goofy Gonzale sisterssing and they got My boyfriend is very
goofy and silly as well. Sothree of us had a lot of fun.
(22:30):
There was just a sprinkling of folksaround, little groups of people around,
but it was a pretty quiet area. And I was so afraid because
they were so happy we had founda spot that had enough sun and there
weren't. There was clouds but nottoo many, and we were fingers crossed
but like I knew what they mightmiss if the cloud cover came over that
when totality hits and you take yourglasses, your solar glasses down and you
(22:55):
just get to look up at thesun and see the corona around it,
like the most awe inspiring experience isSo I can't like not cry, and
I don't know why. And Iwas so afraid they were gonna miss that
that we had spent all this moneyand time and effort, and like I
knew what they would be missing.They didn't know, and so I was
like, I was so anxious.I was like pacing, and it was
(23:18):
so weird. As you get abouttwenty minutes or half hour before, like
my head started feeling weird, andmy sister's like, why do I feel
like weird? Pressure changes, Likeit was so weird, and then you
get to about five minutes before andit starts getting dark and it is weird,
like super weird ass And you geta minute before and it's like all
of a sudden, sunset came andlike the horizon all around you looks both
(23:40):
like sunrise and sunset, and thingsget quiet and it gets really cold,
and then you've got that much andwe didn't know because we didn't plan on
being in this little town, andwe didn't know exactly where we were,
so we didn't know if we weregetting two minutes of totality or three and
a half minutes of totality or aminute and a half, like doesn't not
like much, but like you don'thave much time, And so we ended
(24:03):
up with over three and a halfminutes, and we didn't we didn't know
it. And it cleared up enough, it was just rick it beautiful.
My sister hooped and hollered. Myboyfriend started tearing up. I was crying.
It's just it's so so beautiful,like such a specially talking about this,
(24:25):
and I'm totally into it now nowI'm ordering One's the next one?
And where? Well, the nextone in the US isn't for twenty years,
so you're going to have to travel. I know, I know there's
one in two years that'll be inlike Spain and in Iceland. Hey,
I want to go to Iceland.I've heard it's amazing. I know.
So it's August. I think it'sAugust twelfth, in two years, what's
(24:49):
up? Yeah, twenty twenty six. But because Ray, we haven't had
these much in our lifetime and nowwe've had two with in seven years.
And because of social media, noweverybody knows about it. So do know
that people will be planning these tripsthings will be very expensive, Yeah,
(25:10):
because now it's like it because ofsocial media and the timing of these like
everyone knows now. So it's incrediblethough it is absolutely anyway, the way
I could tie that to our podcasthere is this this aspect of experiencing awe
inspiring things and like how nature you'refreezing up some can you still hear me?
(25:33):
Yeah? Okay, I do think, like, you know, because
I was thinking about, you know, who would I most want to have
this experience with, and I waslike my sister and my boyfriend, you
know, And so to be ableto experience this type of awe with,
you know, people who I'm closestwith and who I love the most and
who who I want to be ableto share things like this because I you
(25:56):
know, I felt like I gotto pass on experience to them. I
just you know, I do wantto encourage people out there in your relationships
to tie it to the topics ofour podcast here, like seek out those
things, because it's really easy toget sucked into the mundane of everyday life.
And while our cell phones provide alot of entertainment, they are not
(26:18):
the awe of nature and national parksand sunsets and the ocean and the sky.
And you know, every year wehave meteor showers that go by and
seek those things out, like putlook them up, put them in your
calendar, seek them out, likego out of your way to do that
with your families and with your yourromantic partners. Those are that it reminds
(26:44):
us of how small we are too. You know, we are all connected,
we are all part of this bigpicture here, and if we don't
pause and enjoy it, like wejust were not appreciating the big picture of
life and our part in all ofthis. So yeah, yeah, we
all have a few minutes left.I don't know if you're done, but
I was gonna say, if you'rejust joining us, I'm not sure.
(27:08):
We're not sure what the beginning ofthis podcast is going to sound like,
as it cut off from the verybeginning about three or four minutes in.
So if it's if it's that youdidn't get the very beginning of us saying
hello, the whole thing but thatis what happened, or maybe it did
once it came back from freezing andrecording again. Maybe it's got it all.
I won't know till this is done. But either way, we're just
going to explain that. Yeah.Well, it's not like a radio broadcast
(27:32):
that they're just joining in the middleof it. They've been listening from the
beginning, so right. But Imean, if someone is listening just because
they're like, oh, somehow thebeginning isn't there, but I'm gonna listen
anyway now, they'll hear it,and I can you know, we can
say, hey, that's why youdidn't hear the beginning, okay, sure,
Like whatever, it's podcasting, it'sdifferent. Yeah. I did want
(27:53):
to say something else because April isSexual Assault Awareness month, okay, and
while I was in because I stayedin San Antonio like an extra day and
a half to be able to becauseI hadn't been there for I was only
there once twenty five years ago,just to enjoy the river walk there and
(28:14):
exports to Marias. I have afriend there from high school. We were
both field hockey goalies, Jenny Schmaltz, So I got to meet up with
her and we had drinks and agood friend of hers anyway, But so
since I was going to be there, my PR woman Nick that I work
with, she linked me up withthe news station there, ABC, the
(28:37):
ABC affiliate in San Antonio, todo some segments with them, some pieces
about sexual assault awareness months. SoI was there yesterday and went into studio,
which was so nice because I feellike, remember you and I used
to have so much fun in studio, like morning television, especially like San
Diego Living was like I just therandom segments they'd bring me in for.
(29:00):
I was like, oh my god. It was so It's just been a
long time since I've been in likea thriving studio setting, and this was
like the ABC San Antonio was justthey had a lot going on. She
goes, that's where our investigative journalistsare, and this is where other people
are, and this is our meteorall like it was just it was like
legit news station. It was awesome. It was really cool to be there.
And and yeah, so we dida bunch of interviewed me for a
(29:26):
while. Even though it was onlysupposed to be for a two minute segment.
They're going to try to turn itinto several different segments, and I
did. I just want to putone plug out there specifically since it is
Sexual Assault Awareness month, you know, one of the main points I was
making is that for anybody out therewho has experienced anything, any sort of
violation, consent violation, coersion,rape, sexual assault, whether when you
(29:49):
were a child or a teenager ornow or recent like, please please know
there are resources out there for you. There are free resources out there and
pretty much much every town. Ifnot, you can go on a national
hotline. You could speak to peopleand they could direct you to resources.
I just I really do want toemphasize that to our listeners, since that's
you know what we try to raiseawareness this month around, and that like,
(30:12):
you are not alone, it isnot your fault. There are resources
out there, and I guarantee thereare people who care about it, who
care about you, who care aboutwhat happened, and who want to help
you. And that can be counselingand therapy and support groups, legal help,
all sorts of stuff. So Ido want to encourage folks. If
(30:32):
you feel like you've gone through somethingand you feel stuck in it, you're
blaming yourself. You don't know howto move forward. It's interfering with your
current relationships. Please, you know, just go online and especially with the
hotlines too, Like if you don'twant to call, you can chat online
with folks. Yeah, and theycould direct you to resources. So yeah,
(30:53):
hey, no joke here, Iagree. Yeah, yeah it's the
podcast. I make a joke,but not today. It's really powerful.
Yeah, well I picked it.Pick a trusted person to talk to also,
because sometimes you share in people inyour lives and they they can't handle
(31:14):
it, like they can't handle yourvulnerability. They get triggered by it.
They don't believe you, they wantto blame you in some ways. So
we have to be really selective aboutwho we share it with. But do
share it, and if you're notsure who in your life to share with,
like I said, there's professionals andvolunteers out there who can definitely help
you and listen. Yeah. Ican't emphasize that enough because it's such something
(31:38):
that's so insidious no matter what agefolks are at around sexual assault, is
that it's so commonly people blame themselvesin some way. That's it's such an
insidious part of it that we've gonethrough something traumatizing and then and then get
stuck at it because we feel shameand blame towards ourselves such a shitty thing.
(32:00):
And that's because I think we don'thandle these topics well as a society.
So agreed. Just well, we'llgive a little boost and support out
there for any of our listeners ifthis is resonating with you, or you
have somebody close to you who youthink has struggled with this and is stuck
in a situation. So agreed.Yeah, all right, Jen, we've
(32:22):
only got about a minute left forthis thing. Cuts us off. You
have a fantastic week, and we'llhave another one next week. Yes,
Yeah, sounds great, Clent,I'll get my kids letter. Yes perfect,
that would be really. I can'twait to hear it. I know
you made me cry with the firstone two years ago. I can't wait
to hear it. I hope Idon't disappoint you. I hope you ball
perfect, doctor, Jen,
Doctor jan good day. You justwhat arrived last night at like one thirty
in the morning. I did.I just flew back. However, before
we I have lots to share frommy Texas adventure. I just your dad
just gave a quick call and youjust said, hey, I'm about to
do a podcast. And I've noticedbefore, and then you said, I
mean because literally you were on thephone with him for like five seconds.
(00:21):
You're like, hey, I'm aboutto quick podcast, Like, can I
call you back? And he goesyeah, And then you said love you
and he said love you too.And I've noticed that before. Are you
one of those people that it's afraidafraid if you don't say it, like
bad things will happen, like youfeel like you have to say it,
And he says, is the lasttime you talk to that person? No,
I say it. Okay, Ijust love him and I tell him
(00:43):
I love him and like my kidsand my wife and yeah, oh yeah,
okay. No, it's not becauseI'm afraid of anything. I just
it is my I just want themto know I love them. Yeah,
okay, even though if you sayit every time, you know, sometimes
people say it has less meaning thenbecause you're just saying it out of you
know rotes, you know, patternsinstead of so I know the meaning each
(01:07):
time you say it. I getwhat you're saying. But for me it
means as much as it did thelast twenty times. Nice. Just I
just love them. Yeah, myhero, he's my pops. He's amazing,
My kids are amazing, my wifeall that. Yep, yeah yeah,
but my pop he is eighty one, so definitely, like you know,
there's yeah, oh are we my? Are we we breaking up?
(01:30):
Some? Are you getting me clear? Well I'm getting clear. But it
just said internet connection unstable for asecond, but now it's bad. Okay,
okay, Yeah, you were breakingup a little bit for me.
Yeah my day. You were sayingyour dad's eighty one. My dad just
turned eighty two two days ago,so happy birthday to him. Oh oh
yeah, I'm losing you some Clint. Oh No, I don't know.
(01:53):
I don't know what's going on.I know it's never it doesn't usually happen
from your end. Well, let'sgive it a shot as long as we
can. Okay, Well like wavingyeah, wave to me if you lose
me or something. And sex Talkwith Clinton The Doc Podcast it'll be sex
off with click and that's end.It'll be said, right Clinton, sexyt
(02:15):
Yeah wait wait wait side note.You just reminded me it's something back in
grad school. So this was beforeI think it was before I had an
answering machine, you know, howlike right, so you know we never
used to know who was calling?Right? So this was before caller ID,
(02:35):
I think, so I know Ihad an answering machine. So this
was like mid nineties in grad school. I had an answering machine, but
I didn't have caller ID yet.I don't know when we got that on
home phones. Do you have anyidea do you remember caller ID? Was
that the eighties or the ninety eighties? I feel like it was the nineties.
I don't know. It's only Bluriam. All I know is is this
(03:00):
one person I went to grad schoolwith who and I hated? Are you
looking this up right now? Yep? But I'm looking No, you're not.
It is impossible for the human brain. It is impossible for the human
brain to do that. While Itype this, it's the Sember nineteen eighty
eight, I can't wait. Wait, how did it show? Did we
have a machine that did it like, how did we and it showed who
(03:23):
was calling. I thought I thoughtthat was when you could get caller idea.
Yeah, I think it was throughyour answering machine. Wait, you're
right hold on, yeah, becausewe didn't have anything showing on the phone.
Here pone rose up again. Oh, and now you're totally frozen.
I don't know if this is stillrecording and what it's recording. Clan you're
frozen come back. Huh. Well, this doesn't make for a very good
(03:51):
podcast. I could hello, hey, Yeah, I don't know what happened.
It just restarted itself. Yeah,I just I got your just got
your text that it said you're I'mfrozen and you were frozen for me?
(04:11):
I was, And then I starteddoing a Vachina monologue because I wasn't sure
if it was if our listeners werestill going to hear it or not.
So I won't know until we AndI wonder if that cut off the beginning
of the podcast too. Now,yeah, well you'll have to go back
and find out if you're we're inthe middle of the beginning of what were
(04:35):
we talking about? It was youwere talking about as I was looking up
the answers. Oh, yeah,yeah, right, so there is what
is it? Coller? I dso so funny. I can't remember that
anyway. So, yeah, therewas somebody in my grad school class who
used to call and then would justtalk and talk and talk and talk on
(04:58):
the phone. And I literally thatthing that we were just doing, that
we were pretending we were getting cutoff. I literally started faking that.
I would crumble some paper in thebackground and I'd go, hey, I
can't it's okay, cutting us.I can't. Can you hear me?
And I would literally and he'd belike, oh, you're cutting out.
(05:20):
And I'll be like, oh,man, I don't know what's going on.
It's just got a weird connection.And then I would do it again
and then I would just hang up. Man, you know what, you're
pretty good at that. And youknow what, But the funny thing is
you did what you're supposed to dowhen you cut words out. You see
people sometimes do it like this andthis is wrong. Oh yes, okay,
what's going on to the market today? And maybe we can go down
(05:41):
to the beach and so then wecan go to the market. They don't
cut words out, they just pauseand use then oh yeah, So the
way you did it was perfect.It'd be like Dr Denn, So next
week we're gonna about and then wecan do about an hour. Yeah,
good, okay, you know thatthat's the way you do it. Yes,
(06:01):
very very well, Hey, gothat practice. And then I literally
would hang up and I'd sit thereand then you would call back and I
wouldn't answer, and it would justbe because the thing is, this was
somebody who wouldn't listen, wouldn't takeques, wouldn't ask questions, would just
literally go on and on and repeatthe same thing and go on and on.
And I was like, you arenot a good conversationalist. You're not
(06:24):
being mindful of me and my time. I'm trying to interrupt and say I
have to go, and you willjust keep talking. So I was like,
all right, this is what we'lldo. And then I was so
excited when I got caller. Id yeah, people that you know,
I love the tears. But samething. It's like you say you've got
to go, and they go okay, and then they go right into the
next thing three four and five times. I know, because it's all about
(06:47):
them and they have their heads uptheir own asses. Now I can talk
with the best of them. Isometimes need to shut up, and I
don't. But when someone tells methey have to go, I go,
all right, cool, this lastthing, all right, and I'm good,
have a great day. Okay,you too. But it is literally,
hey, I gotta go. Yeah, oh man, let me tell
you there's this one friend of minewho good, good, could good?
(07:09):
And then you wait till the endof that story, and then you go,
okay, hey, listen, Igotta run. Yeah, yeah,
no, I totally get. Wecan, we can let things go.
Oh and you know, another getAnd I'm just like, oh my god.
You know, I got to getback to do that. Knock it
off. I got to get backto writing my ebook on Generous Listening that
addresses things like that. It hasbeen on the back burner because I've been
(07:31):
busy. But okay, wait,we were going. You were going to
share with us your letter that youwrote to your youngest son for his eighteenth
birthday, like you did two yearsago for your older son. Yes,
but I didn't email it like Ithought I did. I did it on
my wife's computer, on the worddocument, which she just took to La.
She's leaving for the weekend. Literallysixty seconds before I got on with
(07:56):
you and it Yeah, yeah,it's it's I don't have a copy.
I need to get it. Okay, all right, next time. Okay,
wait, you said your wife's away for the weekend. It was
like, well, the cots away, the mice will play. No,
well, I mean I might drinka little bit. I would drink if
she were here. Anyway. Iknow. The thing is, it's you
know, it's it's so I'm usuallygood day one man, the school awesome.
(08:18):
It's not answer to you, butI'm good underwear or whatever. Like
you don't normally fart in your underwear? What are you farting in? Well?
Meaning okay, all right, meaninganywhere I want in the house.
Oh you don't do that already.Yeah. I try to hold back anyway.
So then day two, about halfwaythrough, I'm like, all right,
(08:39):
okay, cool whatever. But thenby the night number two, I'm
ready for whoever's gone to be back. It's back to you and I where
we talk about our personality traits andwhat we what we like and what we
need and you know mine people,it's people. I don't get me wrong,
doctor Jen. There are times andI'm just like I'm my god,
I just want to sit and donothing, nobody anything. But it's very
(09:03):
rare and it's very short lived,because when are you just enjoyed it ever
alone? Like do you are youever alone at home much? And or
traveling? Are you always surrounded bypeople and haven't been for like decades?
Okay, so for decades yes,But I mean if you count the dogs,
then I'm home alone a bit.You know, when my boys in
school, my wife's at work.Did I tell you about my therapist,
(09:24):
by the way, who asked methis very question? No, I didn't
talk about this. No, oh, this is bizarre. This is day
jaboo. Two weeks ago. Uh, three weeks ago. She goes,
are you ever alone? Yeah?I go, well, not really?
I go, well, yeah,you know dogs? She goes, no,
no, no, no, Imean just you, no other living,
(09:45):
breathing thing that you have to tendto. And I go probably not
except in the truck, you know, on the way to work and maybe
back, and on the way back. I'm usually on the phone on the
way in the morning. It's soreally, I don't call anybody. So
yeah, well, but do youget how insane is we're talking about being
alone. I'm thinking about being alonefor like days, or traveling or out
somewhere. You're talking twenty minutes ina truck alone. That's insane. That
(10:09):
that's the best you can come upwith. Now, as somebody who lives
alone and travels alone often, thatblows my mind. Well, so it's
funny because she got into this withme and she said, do you enjoy
your own company? That's how itstarted. And I go, I guess.
She goes, and that's what shewent into. Are you ever alone?
(10:31):
And I go, well, yeah, the dogs. She goes,
now nothing, no one else,nothing, just you. I said no,
she goes, all right, ifyou would allow me, I'm going
to give you some homework. Isaid, go for it. Yay,
what's your homework? Well, Idid it already and I need to do
it again because now it's for twoweeks. But she said, I want
you to get on your bike orin your car, or walk down to
(10:52):
a restaurant, do whatever you've gotto do, to a place to just
sit and eat by yourself, ordo something by yourself. Yes, where
you're not talking to somebody, you'renot bringing somebody, you're not on the
phone with somebody, and I go, well, wait, so why can't
like What if I go to arestaurant that I know people because I like
it? She goes, no,pick somewhere now, Yes, I go
(11:13):
okay. So I went to RanchHouse in Lakeside and I pulled up.
I was on the phone with mybuddy Mark, and I said, hey,
I gotta go. I won't beon the phone for the next however
long because this is my homework withmy therapist and I'm I'm gonna follow through.
And he goes, good for you, dude, Yeah, shut the
phone off. And she even said, do not get on your phone either.
Yeah. Well, because normally thenpeople just sit and, you know,
and scroll on their phone the wholetime. Yes. So I said,
(11:37):
well, can I bring it inwith me? And she goes,
yes, but do not use it. The only reason you have it with
you is if you need for anemergency. That's it. And I go
okay. So I put it onthe table, I order my food,
and I even asked, I wasasking all kinds of questions, I'm over
analytical, And I go, okay, Well, what happens if the waitress
gets into a conversation or the waiterwith me. I mean, do I
be rude or what? She goes, No, here's the thing, do
(11:58):
not get or give any life story. She goes, order your food,
be polite and that's the end ofit. Unless you need water or something.
She goes, no, just sitand be and I go okay.
So I did about forty five minutes, maybe an hour, and I got
to tell you, doctor Jan whenI walked out of there and got in
the truck. I then got onmy phone go buy my business. I
absolutely loved it. The first tenminutes, very like, man, I
(12:24):
don't want to talk, but Iwas able to observe the room, yeah
pictures and the signs on the yeah, and watch another family, a big
family like eight or ten people withkids interacting and one kid was humming and
the other kid was eating their littlecereal and it I was talking that.
I really thought it was cool.And then I had to catch myself though
not to stare too long, becauseyeah, be that weirdo. Yeah.
(12:46):
Right, So I'm like, oh, you know, so I'm looking around,
just dart in my eyes everywhere.Then I would just kind of look
forward, straight ahead at the otherside of the booth and just think and
I'm gonna do it again. Ithought it was cool. Did you find
yourself like actually slowing down and eatingand like enjoying your food more? Yes,
yeah I did. I sat,I just enjoyed my food. I
(13:09):
kind of semi intentionally, you know, ate a little slower, but I
wouldn't say it was one hundred percentintentional. Is I found myself doing that?
Yeah? I really did. That'sawesome. That's really because if you
look, I will sometimes make myselfif I'm waiting in line somewhere, to
be like, Okay, you're justgonna wait line. You're not gonna do
(13:31):
anything else. You're gonna do whatwe used to do. I'm not gonna
pull out your phone and just sitthere and sit with that feeling that it's
which feels rather uneasy, of feelingbored, that were not entertained, that
we're not distracted, and that you'rejust present in the moment when there's nothing
to do. I mean, althoughyou had a meal there. That is
(13:54):
absolutely like there is some like lostart of like boredom and being in the
moment. Oh yeah, so,and I think that is an amazing skill.
It is it's a skill to practicethat is long loss, which is
unfortunate and I'm very guilty of it. And another example is even watching movies
and TV shows, I am halfthe time on my phone, scroll and
(14:15):
getting back to it. Sometimes I'llintentionally put my phone down and go knock,
get off. Yeah, I willtell you. Ed Sheeran was on
the I Love this guy. He'sEnglish Graham Norton show. Yeah, funny
as hell. That's so funny.Yeah, he's so good at what he
does. But anyway, Ed Sheeron, I just saw this couple of days
ago. Now I think it's abrand new interview. Somehow they got on
(14:37):
the subject in this clip that Iwas watching about him. Is it true
you don't have a phone? Hegoes, No, I still do not
have a phone. He goes,I do not own a phone. And
it's like, wait, what,especially in his business, So what he
does instead? He goes, Icommunicate via email? He goes, I
have a an iPad. That's whatI have. He goes, I communicate
via email. He goes, Ijust and he goes in. It's so
(15:00):
liberating and I'm like, oh mygod, yeah, yeah, I'm telling
you, doctor Jen are there aremoments, especially in my business it's like
you are never not available, whichis not okay. It's not like what
what's become normal of how companies treattheir employees and what they expect from them
around the clock. Yep, notokay. Not good for us mentally or
(15:22):
emotionally, not good for family livesand relationships, none of it. I
remember you're frozen. But can youhear me? Uh oh, you froze
up again. M hm, youfroze up. You're back, okay.
You froze up with a funny lookon your face, like you look like
you were about to sneeze. Well, here's the thing. The I remember
(15:46):
a few years ago, and Ilove my old boss, but I remember
a few years ago when here wasthe conversation we had. Hey, I'm
trying to get a hold of sales. I need to get this last commercial
in because it's starts Monday, andI leave tomorrow morning for South Lake Tahoe
Thursday morning through Sunday, and youknow, I need to get this commercial
(16:08):
in but they haven't done it.What do I do? I guess just
you know, just it starts lateror whatever. I don't know what else
to do. I've tried for afew days no, you do the commercial.
I go, yeah, but ifI'm leaving, She goes, well,
what time are you home Sunday night? And I go from Lake Tahoe
riding five hundred and thirty miles.Yeah, I go ten o'clock. And
she goes, then maybe you needto come in and do it then,
and I literally I laughed. Igo, ah, I go And then
(16:30):
I looked at her and I go, wait, you're not kidding, Oh
my god, no, And Igo okay, and I walked away.
I was pissed. You should havebeen pissed. And did you do it?
What'd you do? No? Becausethey got a hold of me like
an hour later, and I didit, you know when it should have
been done. But the thing was, I also remember and again this is
this is a great person, afriend, but she was also conditioned by
(16:52):
her boss. Is that that's howit goes right, So it trickles down.
But the thing is, I'll alwaysremember this too. Hey, did
you not get the email yesterday?I said, no, it was Sunday.
I didn't check my email. I'mtrying not to on Sundays anymore.
And she goes, you need to. You need to check it every day.
And I'm like okay, wow,oh wow, huh. That is
(17:12):
when my perception changed of yes,the working world. Yes, And as
you said, that is not okay. No, this is not okay.
Let's become normal is not at allgood for us? No, okay,
I got it. I don't knowhow much time we have, but I
got two things to share. SoI was just in San Antonio and that
(17:36):
area of Texas, and I flewout my boyfriend and I flew out Sunday
night late because we had you know, he's a cancer researcher, and we
did a twenty five mile cancer researchfundraiser like bike ride, pedal for the
cause, padres Pedal for the cause. Getting heard of that, Yeah,
we did that Sunday morning. Sowe ride twenty five miles. You get
(17:59):
to go the Coronado Bridge and it'sall for a fundraiser. I did it
last year with him too. Yeahhe did it. Yeah, he's done
it many years in a row.Anyway. So then we flew out late
that night, got in San Antonioarea, took an uber out to this
town called Bernie. It's about thirtyminutes without traffic outside San Antonio, you
(18:21):
know, checking our hotel at likeone in the morning, get you know,
got some sleep. My sister showedup about nine thirty that morning.
She had flown in from Philadelphia.She had spent the weekend in Austin and
then came down as she had arental car. And we were all there
to see the full solar eclips becauseI had gone up to Oregon back in
twenty seventeen, which we you knowwhat I was thinking, I think we're
(18:42):
already doing the podcast then, soI probably talked about it on this podcast
and what it is to see inthe total solar eclips and how it is
like literally most awe inspiring experience.What's the look on your face right now?
Because I can't believe you of sucha monumental moments with this eclipse all
(19:03):
over the news, all over socialmedia where we were reporting on a couple
of days ago, and here youwere there. Yes, well, and
I think because it was my secondone, so I think I am an
officially like an eclipse chaser now eclipsein like like half our airplane, our
Southwest flight Sunday night, was flyingto Texas to see the eclipse next day.
I had picked that area literally ayear ago and I had talked to
(19:26):
my boyfriend Ruben about it. Iwas like, I did this in twenty
seventeen. I go, you haveto come see you have to experience totality.
It is one of the most aweinspiring experiences I have ever had.
You only get a few minutes,It's incredible. And then I had talked
it so much up with my sisterthat then she decided to come down for
and join us. So and thenI had done all the research. In
(19:49):
southern Texas was supposed to be thebest likelihood of clear skies anywhere in the
country. But they were predicting thislike well in advance. Well come Monday,
and what they had been picting forthe week was total overcast and even
rain and storms. Yeah, theycanceled event too or something. Yeah,
And I ended up getting some ofthat weather in San Antonio two nights ago.
(20:11):
It was insane, but so butthankfully, you know, we had
a rental car. So my sistercame and picked us up and we had
She came around nine thirty, broughtbrought coffee and uh Starbucks breakfast for us.
And we had all been looking atcloud maps and predictions and like where
there might be traffic and where togo and the line, you know,
because you're you only have this pathof totality that covers a few hours span
(20:37):
and at least in terms of driving, and so yeah, and so the
three of us were, you know, checking our phones and doing everything,
and we hit the road. Totalitywas gonna be about one thirty in the
afternoon, and we'd have it forabout three and a half minutes, and
so we just we went to onedestination, Fredericksburg, and all these people
were out in the community park.It was like adorable, but there was
all these clouds, and so wekept driving. We kept driving. We
(21:00):
ended up in We drove for severalhours, ended up being like two hours
away from San Antonio. But wekept like driving and stopping and checking all
the information. And then we're likewe worked so well as a team.
It was really good. We're listeningto a soundtrack all about songs that had
to do with like the sun andthe moon and so like that was the
(21:22):
moon rise. Yep, what's uhsitting on the dock? Was that?
I think so? Because then theysay something about the sun. Maybe I'm
wrong. Here comes the sun,little darling. Yes, totally clips of
the Hearts O My God and thedance version, which is super fun.
(21:45):
Anyway, Uh, three of ushad a blast had all these My sister
Christine had picked up all these snacksand foods for us from Trader Joe's and
so it was just we you know, it was like a whole road trip
day, not knowing where we endup. And yeah, we ended up
in this little weird park in Mason, Texas that had clear enough skies and
(22:08):
so then we were there around noonat twelve fifteen. Then the partially clips
was starting, so we had ourglasses and my sister wanted to make a
tinfoil hat for herself and take pictures, so we did that. Like we
were just totally very goofy Gonzale sisterssing and they got My boyfriend is very
goofy and silly as well. Sothree of us had a lot of fun.
(22:30):
There was just a sprinkling of folksaround, little groups of people around,
but it was a pretty quiet area. And I was so afraid because
they were so happy we had founda spot that had enough sun and there
weren't. There was clouds but nottoo many, and we were fingers crossed
but like I knew what they mightmiss if the cloud cover came over that
when totality hits and you take yourglasses, your solar glasses down and you
(22:55):
just get to look up at thesun and see the corona around it,
like the most awe inspiring experience isSo I can't like not cry, and
I don't know why. And Iwas so afraid they were gonna miss that
that we had spent all this moneyand time and effort, and like I
knew what they would be missing.They didn't know, and so I was
like, I was so anxious.I was like pacing, and it was
(23:18):
so weird. As you get abouttwenty minutes or half hour before, like
my head started feeling weird, andmy sister's like, why do I feel
like weird? Pressure changes, Likeit was so weird, and then you
get to about five minutes before andit starts getting dark and it is weird,
like super weird ass And you geta minute before and it's like all
of a sudden, sunset came andlike the horizon all around you looks both
(23:40):
like sunrise and sunset, and thingsget quiet and it gets really cold,
and then you've got that much andwe didn't know because we didn't plan on
being in this little town, andwe didn't know exactly where we were,
so we didn't know if we weregetting two minutes of totality or three and
a half minutes of totality or aminute and a half, like doesn't not
like much, but like you don'thave much time, And so we ended
(24:03):
up with over three and a halfminutes, and we didn't we didn't know
it. And it cleared up enough, it was just rick it beautiful.
My sister hooped and hollered. Myboyfriend started tearing up. I was crying.
It's just it's so so beautiful,like such a specially talking about this,
(24:25):
and I'm totally into it now nowI'm ordering One's the next one?
And where? Well, the nextone in the US isn't for twenty years,
so you're going to have to travel. I know, I know there's
one in two years that'll be inlike Spain and in Iceland. Hey,
I want to go to Iceland.I've heard it's amazing. I know.
So it's August. I think it'sAugust twelfth, in two years, what's
(24:49):
up? Yeah, twenty twenty six. But because Ray, we haven't had
these much in our lifetime and nowwe've had two with in seven years.
And because of social media, noweverybody knows about it. So do know
that people will be planning these tripsthings will be very expensive, Yeah,
(25:10):
because now it's like it because ofsocial media and the timing of these like
everyone knows now. So it's incrediblethough it is absolutely anyway, the way
I could tie that to our podcasthere is this this aspect of experiencing awe
inspiring things and like how nature you'refreezing up some can you still hear me?
(25:33):
Yeah? Okay, I do think, like, you know, because
I was thinking about, you know, who would I most want to have
this experience with, and I waslike my sister and my boyfriend, you
know, And so to be ableto experience this type of awe with,
you know, people who I'm closestwith and who I love the most and
who who I want to be ableto share things like this because I you
(25:56):
know, I felt like I gotto pass on experience to them. I
just you know, I do wantto encourage people out there in your relationships
to tie it to the topics ofour podcast here, like seek out those
things, because it's really easy toget sucked into the mundane of everyday life.
And while our cell phones provide alot of entertainment, they are not
(26:18):
the awe of nature and national parksand sunsets and the ocean and the sky.
And you know, every year wehave meteor showers that go by and
seek those things out, like putlook them up, put them in your
calendar, seek them out, likego out of your way to do that
with your families and with your yourromantic partners. Those are that it reminds
(26:44):
us of how small we are too. You know, we are all connected,
we are all part of this bigpicture here, and if we don't
pause and enjoy it, like wejust were not appreciating the big picture of
life and our part in all ofthis. So yeah, yeah, we
all have a few minutes left.I don't know if you're done, but
I was gonna say, if you'rejust joining us, I'm not sure.
(27:08):
We're not sure what the beginning ofthis podcast is going to sound like,
as it cut off from the verybeginning about three or four minutes in.
So if it's if it's that youdidn't get the very beginning of us saying
hello, the whole thing but thatis what happened, or maybe it did
once it came back from freezing andrecording again. Maybe it's got it all.
I won't know till this is done. But either way, we're just
going to explain that. Yeah.Well, it's not like a radio broadcast
(27:32):
that they're just joining in the middleof it. They've been listening from the
beginning, so right. But Imean, if someone is listening just because
they're like, oh, somehow thebeginning isn't there, but I'm gonna listen
anyway now, they'll hear it,and I can you know, we can
say, hey, that's why youdidn't hear the beginning, okay, sure,
Like whatever, it's podcasting, it'sdifferent. Yeah. I did want
(27:53):
to say something else because April isSexual Assault Awareness month, okay, and
while I was in because I stayedin San Antonio like an extra day and
a half to be able to becauseI hadn't been there for I was only
there once twenty five years ago,just to enjoy the river walk there and
(28:14):
exports to Marias. I have afriend there from high school. We were
both field hockey goalies, Jenny Schmaltz, So I got to meet up with
her and we had drinks and agood friend of hers anyway, But so
since I was going to be there, my PR woman Nick that I work
with, she linked me up withthe news station there, ABC, the
(28:37):
ABC affiliate in San Antonio, todo some segments with them, some pieces
about sexual assault awareness months. SoI was there yesterday and went into studio,
which was so nice because I feellike, remember you and I used
to have so much fun in studio, like morning television, especially like San
Diego Living was like I just therandom segments they'd bring me in for.
(29:00):
I was like, oh my god. It was so It's just been a
long time since I've been in likea thriving studio setting, and this was
like the ABC San Antonio was justthey had a lot going on. She
goes, that's where our investigative journalistsare, and this is where other people
are, and this is our meteorall like it was just it was like
legit news station. It was awesome. It was really cool to be there.
And and yeah, so we dida bunch of interviewed me for a
(29:26):
while. Even though it was onlysupposed to be for a two minute segment.
They're going to try to turn itinto several different segments, and I
did. I just want to putone plug out there specifically since it is
Sexual Assault Awareness month, you know, one of the main points I was
making is that for anybody out therewho has experienced anything, any sort of
violation, consent violation, coersion,rape, sexual assault, whether when you
(29:49):
were a child or a teenager ornow or recent like, please please know
there are resources out there for you. There are free resources out there and
pretty much much every town. Ifnot, you can go on a national
hotline. You could speak to peopleand they could direct you to resources.
I just I really do want toemphasize that to our listeners, since that's
you know what we try to raiseawareness this month around, and that like,
(30:12):
you are not alone, it isnot your fault. There are resources
out there, and I guarantee thereare people who care about it, who
care about you, who care aboutwhat happened, and who want to help
you. And that can be counselingand therapy and support groups, legal help,
all sorts of stuff. So Ido want to encourage folks. If
(30:32):
you feel like you've gone through somethingand you feel stuck in it, you're
blaming yourself. You don't know howto move forward. It's interfering with your
current relationships. Please, you know, just go online and especially with the
hotlines too, Like if you don'twant to call, you can chat online
with folks. Yeah, and theycould direct you to resources. So yeah,
(30:53):
hey, no joke here, Iagree. Yeah, yeah it's the
podcast. I make a joke,but not today. It's really powerful.
Yeah, well I picked it.Pick a trusted person to talk to also,
because sometimes you share in people inyour lives and they they can't handle
(31:14):
it, like they can't handle yourvulnerability. They get triggered by it.
They don't believe you, they wantto blame you in some ways. So
we have to be really selective aboutwho we share it with. But do
share it, and if you're notsure who in your life to share with,
like I said, there's professionals andvolunteers out there who can definitely help
you and listen. Yeah. Ican't emphasize that enough because it's such something
(31:38):
that's so insidious no matter what agefolks are at around sexual assault, is
that it's so commonly people blame themselvesin some way. That's it's such an
insidious part of it that we've gonethrough something traumatizing and then and then get
stuck at it because we feel shameand blame towards ourselves such a shitty thing.
(32:00):
And that's because I think we don'thandle these topics well as a society.
So agreed. Just well, we'llgive a little boost and support out
there for any of our listeners ifthis is resonating with you, or you
have somebody close to you who youthink has struggled with this and is stuck
in a situation. So agreed.Yeah, all right, Jen, we've
(32:22):
only got about a minute left forthis thing. Cuts us off. You
have a fantastic week, and we'llhave another one next week. Yes,
Yeah, sounds great, Clent,I'll get my kids letter. Yes perfect,
that would be really. I can'twait to hear it. I know
you made me cry with the firstone two years ago. I can't wait
to hear it. I hope Idon't disappoint you. I hope you ball
perfect, doctor, Jen,
Sex Talk with Clint & The Doc News
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