May 23, 2024 • 31 mins
Why do women shave their pubic hair and is it "weird" to like seeing pubic hair? Was Clint's annual May Ride a success this year? And do listeners want a live Sex Talk with Clint & the Doc event?!
Mark as Played
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
When a world traveler you were inNapa, right, Uh, yeah,
I don't know. World travel doesnot count when it's still in my state.
Yeah, I know, But forall the times you do travel it,
it's true. Napa is freaking Ihave not been up there that much,
and I have never really like I'venever explored like some of the little
(00:20):
towns along that like main road inNapa. Yeah, even some like north
of the airport, the Santa Rosaairport there, because that's what I flew
into. Yeah, they are likelike they are my favorite types of little
towns. It is so great.I love it with the with the tasting
rooms and the cool restaurants and theoutdoor spaces and just the vibe. Like
(00:43):
freaking love it. So I wasup there for work. Yeah, so
I was up there for work,but I built in a bunch of time
around it to build, to exploreand do some tastings and check out coffee
shops, et cetera. So anyway, it was delightful. But I do
we'll come back to it. ButI have a concept called above the line
or below the line that I wasusing with the folks up there, and
I haven't anyway, I'll explain it. But it's a neat concept I think
(01:07):
for personal growth that can be reallya helpful little shortcut. So but you
just had may ride this past weekend, which can you give like a like
a two sentence description of it andthe point of it for anybody who doesn't
know. Sure, it is forour troops and their families to the arm
Services YMCA. And it's a motorcycleride in the morning and after party at
(01:29):
bigs Harley Davidson in the afternoon inSan Marcos, California. And it's that's
what it is. It's vendors andlive music and a kids zone and an
artist zone. And we actually hadfor the first year ever, a black
Hawk helicopter flyover Whoa. We hadtwenty one gun salute by the Marines.
We also had taps and a receremony. And there's a guy named Dan
in the classic rock band. That'sthe name of the band who served our
(01:53):
country. So when he offered allthis to me before the event started and
once we booked his band, Isaid this to him, even on the
stage. I even said it,I said on the radio. So I'm
not you know, say anything Iwouldn't say to him. I thought this,
dude, yeah, it's gonna happenwhatever. I said, sure,
and then he sends me the confirmationemail and I thought, yeah, somehow
(02:14):
they're gonna pull out. Something's gonnahappen. Holy they did it and I
was like whoa. And people arelooking up in the sky going what the
shit? And then the twenty onegun salute with taps was absolutely dB God.
Yeah. I looked at him.I go, hey, you think
they'll come again next year? Hegoes, I think they will. I'm
like, oh my god. Soit was good. The ride was down
(02:35):
a little bit. It was probablyonly a couple hundred riders in the actual
poker run, but the event wasoverall bigger and we had there's more people,
so it was a success. Howmany people overall would you say?
No, I don't know how goodI am at this, but my guesstimation
compared to other events events I've beento, and you know, last year's
May Ride and all these other things, I think we had four to five
(02:59):
thousand people throughout the day, notat once, A lot of people.
It's yeah, I mean I don'tthink I'm over selling it. I think
we had at least four thousand throughoutthe day. But I'm counting vendors and
everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh my god, congratulations, that's
really awesome. Good God, nowonder you get so stressed. That is
a lot of freaking moving parts.Got a good crew helping though, and
(03:22):
I got my crew back together,the may Ride Corps that we haven't had
for a few years since before COVID. Oh good. Yeah. I got
a few people who have said friendsof mine who said, dude, my
buddy Nick and my buddy Lawn bothkind of got on me a little bit.
Friday after we chalked the sidewalk inthe street and did all our stuff
the day before the actual event inpreparation for We're driving home in the same
(03:43):
truck and he says, Clint,you got to use this man. He
goes, we're more than a dayof And I go, are you sure,
dude, I'm planning at everything,and he goes, yep, we
want to. I said, okay. So after the event was over the
next day, there were a coupleof first timers, there were a couple
of second and third timers, andthen of course the fIF teen sixteen year
people and I just as we werewalking as the event was closing down,
(04:03):
I said, look, you know, anybody who wants to say no,
just tell me no later or now. Do You don't have to say yes
now. I'm just throwing it outthere. You guys want to be a
part of the core, all theplanning everything, And each one of them
go, we're in Oh, okay, so it's awesome. Yeah, I
mean it's going to be so muchbetter. And then the artist alley,
the guys there, Aj and Chrisone from Redbeard originally does custom leatherwork,
(04:30):
which is incredibly does artwork on leatherwork. If you ever look up red Beard
original his he is an artist man. Yeah. And then Chris from the
Low Side Clothing Company. You know, they came together. They did the
bike, the bike show, theartist show, and I talked to him
the following day after the event wasover, and I said, hey,
man, you know, maybe youwant to move to the front of the
BIGS parking lot, the front twentyfive percent of it rather than the backside.
(04:54):
Do you get more traffic that waybefore the front door? You know
what I mean? A big yeah? And he says, actually, man,
we were kind of talking. Canwe take over the entire parking lot
next year, and I go,the hell are you gonna fill the parking
lot with? I go, wegot to a bunch of vendors cause were
closed down the street too. Yeah, And and he says, uh,
man, we want to do likecar show. I said, wait a
second, you want to take thatover. I said, you talked to
(05:15):
Charlie and hot Rod Holly done.I said, that'll take so much off
my plate. And he goes allright. And then and he goes,
we want a circus in there,and I go, you know what's funny,
I said, that is the actualcircus. No, no, no,
so much going on you okay,okay, Well, because I was
like I didn't know. I waslike, yeah, I mean, hell,
we take that too. But theelephants and the lias. Heck yeah,
(05:38):
man, but I yeah, that'dgo well with the motorcycles and all
that noise. Jesus. But thebut I you know, I when he
said circus, I said, dude, you're speaking my language. Literally,
like years ago. We started offwith just a couple of vendors and a
ride and then food and all that. That was it. And then one
year I went to my buddy Mark. We started this together. I'm like,
hey, man, we need likemusic and we like energy. Yeah,
(06:00):
all kinds of different buzzing buzzing energy, right. And you know,
Mark had a good point at thetime. This is years ago, like
our second third one. He goes, Nah, man, we get you
know, just keep it just theWhy do you want a circus? I
said, because I want everyone towant to be there. Yeah, you
don't like motorcycles, you're there forthe vendors. If you don't like motorcycles
or vendors, you're there for themusic. You don't like anything, you're
(06:20):
there for the food. If you'renot there, you're there for the kids
zone. Well, and if youdon't like any of that stuff, you're
there for the fundraising, et cetera. So yeah, for the troops.
So so yeah, I'm pretty excited. And I even said to these guys,
I'm like, man, I'd loveto have you know, skaters in
the parking lot doing vert ramps andall that stuff. He goes, oh,
dude, that's exactly what we're talkingabout, skaters and dmxs. And
I got done. Let's do it, so sweet, good for you.
(06:44):
Oh my god, this is reallyreally neat, Like you know, it's
like an institution at this point inSan Diego. It's so cool. Well
yeah, and then you know thaton top of I don't know if I
told you the results of my MRIform my prostate. Wait did I not
tell you I should even get anMR. Well, I don't remember an
mrry. So I had the scopedone, right, he said there was
(07:05):
no evidence of cancer on the scope, but he wanted an MRI. Okay,
So we were done with the scopeand I looked at him in his
office and I go, okay,I'll do it. But I go,
you just said there's no you didn'tsee any cancer in the bladder or the
you know, I know we're doingit, you know, an MRI,
but you're not worried about cancer,are you. And he pauses and he
(07:25):
looks at me and he goes,well, we are doing an MRI.
And I was like, oh shit. So to hear that answer kind of
scared the hell out of me.So, uh, anyway, Yeah,
I got the results, dude,did a lot of pran and a lot
of just you know, I mean, I pushed everything forward like I,
oh, it'll be two months beforewe see you, because it takes a
while to get the MRI. Thevery minute the MRI people called, I
(07:46):
said, I'll take any appointment youhave as soon as you can get it.
I don't want to sit on thisfor two months wondering what's up.
Yeah. So the lady goes,oh, you know what, we just
got an opening for Monday, andI'm like, hell yes. So then
I go in there and as soonas I walk out, I go,
hey, how long do you getthe imaging to the urologist And oh,
he'll have it tomorrow, I said, right. So on my way in
(08:09):
the truck leaving there, I said, hey, you're getting the results tomorrow.
How soon can I get in.I haven't a part for two months.
I don't want to wait that long. They got me in two days
later. Yea in a half Iknew, yeah, and thank god.
He's like, you do have somekind of blockage. He goes, but
we know it's not cancer. Okay, okay, I said, you know,
I wish you didn't. He goes, but we are going to check
your PSA in six months and soyeah, so that's it. But anyway,
(08:31):
okay, so nothing, they're notthere's no intervention at this point.
Doesn't feel like it. No,and that's thank God for that. But
my whole point of that, sorry, was that may ride on that you
know, being past me right nowis like big size of relief. Yeah.
Well, so, okay, thismight not be the best time to
(08:52):
pitch this to you, but maybeif you're feeling that relief and excitement,
well before you do, hold on, I'm going to Oh, I got
the Santie Street Fair this weekend afterthe shop, which I'm gonna be gone
from five to fifty am until sevenpm. This isn't like for now,
and then a ride club the nextweekend. Okay, no, no,
so but what I was thinking,and I think this is because of one
(09:15):
maybe I think honestly, it's takenme four years post COVID to even feel
like I want to do anything again, like like big public events, which
I used to do all the time. I you know, World Sexual Healthy,
you know, even my book launchparty, Like I have always created
events. I make them fundraisers forlocal nonprofits, the educational stuff like I've
(09:37):
always the Vagina Monologues as fundraisers andplays like I have always movie screenings.
I have always done stuff like thisfor like years. Yeah, and my
whole time in San Diego, andI just started planning another one when COVID
shut things down. It even gottena sponsor for it four years ago,
and then I just have not wantedto do it again. But something I
(09:58):
got a little tingling in me again. Talk to the boy friend, Well,
you take care of those other tingles. But it reminded me of before
COVID shut everything down. You andI had looked at that space, that
beautiful auditorium space at iHeart Radio atyour station. Oh that's right, and
(10:22):
we had thought, we're like,let's do a live sex talk with Clinton
the Dock. And we had donea little one for Valentines, remember,
and we had fielded people's questions.And then we're like, we looked at
that space when I was in atthe studio. It is a beautiful space,
and we're like, maybe we canuse it. Maybe we can get
it for free because you're there,and we do it all as a fundraiser
for something, but we do likea live sex talk with Clinton the Dock.
(10:46):
So anyway, I will just plantthat seat, so I'll say this,
I can at least ask. Idon't know how the company is about,
you know, because then they'd haveto have like promotional people. And
because it's you know, it's asecured building. Yeah, so I'll ask.
I will absolutely ask, and ifand if they if we cannot.
There is a different brewery that iscalled BNS. They actually have a room
(11:09):
that I threw my dad's eightieth birthdayparty and with a stage, and it's
really quite nice. It is nice. It's not what we did last time,
even though I love that place.It's gone now, but I love
I love the old pid okay,but it was just where we were sitting
and where they set us up wasnot here. Yeah, yeah, No,
this one is like I could evenget pictures and it's in a very
(11:31):
good brewery. It's a Western typeof theme. Okay, trust me,
you go in this room, Ibet you could fit one hundred people.
Easy, nice, okay, yeah, all right. Anyway, I just
want to play off that seat,so okay, but nothing for now.
Just think on it. Hey,listen, I'm all in. You do
all the planning. No. Sothe thing is I will and that's no,
(11:54):
no, but I don't want youto do much. The thing is,
I like I probably need you,yeah, for a low cation and
then obviously to be advertising it inthe avenues that you have, including the
radio, and I will be doingit as well. But yeah, no,
I don't. I wouldn't. Idon't want you to have to do
a ton of work around it.I truly want us to work as a
team, and I'm happy to takemore of the planning on my side around
(12:16):
it. So wow, I wastotally joking. But oh yeah, no,
no that no, no, no, yeah, please know that that's
that would be my intent around it. So okay, switching gears, plant
that seed and listeners out there,if you would like to come to this,
please message us and let us know. No, you know what,
I agree with you, doctor Jenya. Anybody listening right now, if you
(12:37):
have any interest whatsoever, that wouldgive us a decent gauge to find out,
you know, if if there'd beany traction with it. Yeah,
yeah, which I would think therewould be. I mean yeah, because
you every time, every time Isell this podcast, I'm always talking about
your qualifications and how you know you'rethe smart one with all the information.
I'm the one who asked the questions, you know, and tries to add
(12:58):
some levity. Both of us do. But that's the thing. If you
want to learn something Yeah, andyou did some really cool games last time.
We should do all those again.Remember the stickets or what a sticky
notes on the board or whatever.It was not sticky notes, but the
you had to pick like a cardor something. Right. Yeah, Well,
I think I had my I havea board that I set up on
(13:18):
an easel that actually came through SanDiego rep Theater when I collaborated with them
on a play. They had createdthis thing with my sexual like fun facts
in it, and so it askedthe question the outside and then you flip
it up and the answers on theinside so you can quiz yourself. Yeah,
so I still have that. Ijust brought that to an event.
I hardly ever do local events.I'm always like flying places, so I
(13:39):
never get to use that. Butyeah, I brought that out to a
local talk I gave a few weeksago. But you also had one where
they like was it that they justwrote down questions and then we read them
or know the r Something else wedid that is that was at my book
launch party you're picturing. I thinkI had people answer questions and then they
wrote it on different color sticky noteand put it up on a wall.
(14:01):
I don't actually I need I don'tactually remember what it was exactly was because
if theyre will remember because she washelping me run everything that night. Yeah,
because it was really good. Yeah, and it was fun because I
think I have some pictures of itsomewhere and they could remain anonymous. That
was the whole thing about it.Rosy randomly picked the stickies off and you
(14:22):
go, okay, and if theywrite their name, fine, they're fine
with it. If they don't,yeah, no, but it was Yeah,
it was a way of like theywere like kind of personal sexual sensual
questions and you could read people's answers. Yeah. I love doing stuff like
that, Like I literally for yearsand years. Anytime I host a gathering,
I always work on ideas to helppeople meet new people, to help
(14:46):
open conversation between strangers, and whetherit's what they write on their like name
sticker, we had that also,Yeah, that's the one that I can
remember, yes, yes, yeah, so I have multiple. I also
had I had questions on tables,like little questions on there to help Like
if you were standing at a tableputting a drink down with a stranger,
(15:07):
you could look at them and belike Hey, let's try to answer this.
So I just I had all sortsof stuff built in and I hear
this over the years. I havefriends that I have, like people that
have met at my events, thathave like collaborated on writing books together,
you know, so they've gone intobusiness together like just that they've become good
friends, like all sorts of traveledtogether. Because this is, you know,
(15:31):
so what I try to do.But anyway, I miss that.
That was a big part of mypersonality of creating community and helping people connect
and have fun and while doing itaround you know, topics and personal things
we don't normally talk about. SoI'm it's it's stirring in me again and
I want to I want to followthat. And you were the first place
(15:52):
my mind went with us doing somethingtogether. Yeah, let's talk. Let's
try and figure out. Okay,I'm in place and all that stuff.
Yeah, awesome. Okay, SoI got a person who a dude who
messaged me on Facebook that I don'tknow, and he wrote question for doctor
Jen. I've been with a lotof women and all of them have been
(16:14):
totally shaved. Why do all womenshave these days? None have any pubic
hair? At all, am Iweird to feel to feel like all women
look alike. I think some hairmakes a woman look more like a woman.
Just wanted some help on the issue. Thanks, and I wrote,
Hey, so and so, that'sbeen an interesting cultural shift in the past
twenty five years around pubic hair,and it tends to vary a lot by
(16:37):
generation. I'm going to bring thistopic up next week on my podcast with
Clint August and we'll discuss but I'llkeep your name. I'm on anonymous.
Here's the thing. I know thisguy didn't mean this as a question on
our podcast, but I was like, I'll use that as a question on
my podcast. I'm glad you did, because I'll tell you something. I've
actually kind of wondered that myself,Like what happened there? Like, I,
(17:00):
well, I shouldn't get information anyway, Yeah, because how do you
personally know that? You would notpersonally know that, I guess not.
I know. I was like,what did you just reveal their Clinton?
Well, okay, so obviously it'sprobably dudes. Dudes have been sharing it
with you. I guess we ain'tme And yes, I was gonna say
friends have talked about it and allthat and a lot of friends prefer that.
(17:21):
And I don't think it's good orbad. I don't mind, for
lack of a better term, alanding strip or or whatever you want to
call it, a little bit orthe diamond or whatever. I again,
not bad if they want to doit, do that, but I don't.
I guess I don't get why it'sso is the word trendy? Is
that even right? Oh? Itabsolutely is, because if you go back
thirty years, it was not athing. But I don't get it why
(17:45):
though? Okay, wait, letme okay, first, let's and then
he wrote, thanks, what's yourtake on it? Am? I weird
to want to feel it and seeit on a woman, And he goes
in one last note, I've beenwith older and younger women and all seem
to shave it. Just a weirddynamic. And then I didn't write back
because I said, we talk aboutit on the podcast, so so I
(18:11):
can remember, and I feel likemaybe we talked. We must have talked
about this a few years ago onour podcast at some point. But I
was a grad student at University atAlbany in upstate New York. I was
doing sexual health education. I waslike my my assistantship, and so I
was in like the counseling building andlike the health building, and that's where
(18:33):
my office was for like twenty hoursa week, and I can remember.
And it was also where it wasso great, like if I ever needed
to see my gnecologist or get apap smear, I literally would like look
at my clock and be like,uh, my pap smear, got a
college appointments in one minute, AndI would leave my office and walk around
to the other side, the otherwing of the hall. It was all
on the second floor and go inand drop trow and get my pap smear
(18:59):
done. And I remember the onetime she told me, and so I
was probably you know, I'm gonnaguess I was about maybe twenty eight at
this point. So this was twentyeight, thirty eight, forty eight,
twenty four years ago. Twenty threewas that right? Twenty three years ago?
(19:22):
Because I'm fifty one now, Icalculating, right, Yeah, so
twenty three years ago, I think. So. I remember my godacologist saying
one of the years there was ashift from May at the end of one
semester when she saw students, she'sseeing young you know, college women students
eighteen did twenty two or so tillthe next september when they came back.
There was one year and so I'mguessing that it was maybe two thousand,
(19:48):
two thousand and one around that time. And she said, all of the
sudden, all of these young womenwere shaved and didn't have pubic hair,
like it was a shift that summerlike with that age college women. Was
my theory around it has always beenbecause I remember first hearing about stuff like
this around like anal sex, whenlike anal sex became a very like normal
(20:15):
thing in quote unquote normal thing inheterosexual relationships, and that young women being
like, oh, I guess thisis what we do in sex? Are
we having we do anal now,you know? And they felt like it
was they it was expected of them. These trends seem to take place from
what I've seen, like ten yearsor so after they become like popular and
(20:38):
porn and they start to show up, they become kind of popular, and
then it takes a while, andthen they seem to then at some point
have a tipping point, like withthe younger generation, I think, where
then it's quote unquote normal and thisis what you do. So that's my
theory on it, that it's actuallyporn leading the way on things like this.
(21:03):
So just to address him, andI know you're going to get there
yourself in my opinion, he asked, is he weird for wanting to see
touch and field hair. I don'tthink so at all. But I also
but I also don't think you're weirdif you do want just completely shaven.
It's whatever you prefer. I thinkit's where I come right. I don't
think any of it's weird where Icome in. Is that the most you
(21:23):
know? When I remember at firstbecoming a thing and talking to young women
about it, they were talking abouthair being gross, and that to me
is the problem that this is anormal part of your body. This is
a normal The hair is there fora reason because it helps protect women.
It gives cushioning, it helps keeplike you know, infection, the things
(21:45):
out like. It's there for areason, for multiple reasons, for warmth,
right and right and so. Andto be and view it as gross
like that is would you just say, oh my god, it flew over?
I said, taste, okay,it's tweet. If you're clean,
it doesn't matter. No, Iwas my God, it was just because
you said for protection and this andthat and it Fanta said that taste I
(22:08):
was being dirty. Okay, youdon't even get it. That failed anyway,
That to me is the issue.And they and then that young women
then like they're like, no,I just like it smoother, it looks
better, it feels better. Itjust feels more natural to me. Bullshit,
(22:32):
you've learned that. You have learnedthat because it was attached to something
that was disgusting or made you lookless attractive, and you learned that,
and you learn and then you don'twant to get judged for it, and
you don't want to feel embarrassed andyou don't want to feel shame, and
you don't want to feel rejected,and then it becomes a normal thing that
then we justify in our head,well this is this feels more natural,
(22:52):
it feels more smooth, it looksbetter, it's more sexy. And then
that becomes a cultural norm. Butit is not more natural and it is
not easier. And can you tell, because I'm sure we've talked about this
before. I'm a big like fanof the Bush, big fan, big
like I have never I will dobikini line, especially like you know,
(23:15):
because of wearing bathing suits and such, and keep that shave. But like,
and I will trim because I thinkit's fun to be able to see
your genitals a bit more. Yeah, but I but I have never removed
any part of my bush, likethe proper bush. The only reason I
(23:37):
even trim at all is just justbecause it a little more manhood down there.
I'm like, hey, you aredown there, buddy. Yeah.
So anyway, I you know,here's my thought for this guy who I'm
gonna call a listener, because ifhe wants he answered to his question,
he has to listen. So thankyou for writing. Appreciate it. I'm
(24:00):
just using But I think I mean, I get right at this point.
Then. You know, we allhave taste and sort of like more of
what we like in a body ora face or hair like head, hair,
personalities, all sorts of stuff.But often like if we really like
somebody for who they are and feelan emotional and mental connection with them,
(24:23):
we often kind of tend to havea lot of flexibility around the physical piece
because we still really like that person. Yeah, and so a lot of
things can turn us on. Sothat's one suggestion is, you know,
try not to get too fixated onanything being a certain way, because that
just we gets you know, weget stuck in a box, and we
put other people in a box.But the other piece is is like,
(24:47):
you know, talk to the womenthat you're with and you could be like,
hey, yeah, this is great, I think you look great.
And just so you know, likeI actually love hair down there. So
if you want to grow it inand give yourself a break from having to
remove it all the time and givethat a chance, I would love to
see it. So because I dothink there's a space in giving women permission
to even know that there's a differentway of doing things and that they can
(25:08):
still be considered attractive and sexy.We have such limited, narrow versions of
that in our society that create practicallyimpossible standards for women, and then we're
always feeling bad about our bodies andthere's just this ongoing maintenance that's even crazier
as we age. So that's mysuggestion, Well, say this thoughts on
(25:29):
yours. No, No, I'mwith you one hundred percent. I think
it's just personal taste, simply personaltaste, and again personal taste about you,
your own body, you know,and you talked just a second ago
about looking past some of these thingswhen you have a certain ideal I guess
product or expectation in your mind forphysical appearance, that you'll look past it
when you have that emotional connection.I one hundred percent agree. Years ago,
(25:52):
I was dating a girl who Iwas well before my wife. I'm
talking like into into. She wasawesome and beautiful in the whole thing.
But when I remember one day,specifically Mission Beach, she went into the
waves and I was sitting on thesand. Now I was a trainer at
the time, and we were bothin pretty good shape. But I noticed
when the sun when she was facinginto the water knee deep, I noticed
(26:15):
a little bit and I don't meana lot, just a little bit of
cellulite on the back of her legs. You couldn't see it when the sun
wasn't shining on it was yeah,and they didn't look bad at all.
And I gotta tell you I knewright then and there how indo I was
because it did not matter to melike it. It didn't turn me off
in the least. So you're right, when you're into somebody, none of
that shit matters, none of it. Yeah, well, I mean again
(26:36):
once you but see here, I'llgo back to this too though. When
you first meet somebody, there hasto be an attraction. And I don't
even mean they have to be Kenand Barbie. I'm just saying, yeah,
there's got to be an attraction oryou don't take it any further.
That's how you get to know eachother. So you could be four hundred
pounds, you know, four oreleven or you know, five foot ten
and one ninety perfect shape if youthink the other person is beautiful, Yeah,
(27:00):
it looks matter because you're attracted tothem, and then you get to
know them, and that's where itgrows. I think, no matter what,
does that make sense? Yeah,but just be care I'm gonna say,
be careful of your languaging of sayingthat one person, one body versus
someone else who's in quote unquote perfectshape. Yeah. Just just what I
mean is whether it's so much impossiblebullshit out there. So but yes,
(27:25):
I get your point taken for sure. Yeah. And the thing is that
is in the beginning, like that'slike the neurochemicals of desire and reproduction that
he can and then like those canabsolutely fade over time, but hopefully you
have so much, you know,really healthy attraction and affection and love and
(27:45):
safety and trust with this person thateven as we age and our bodies change,
you're still really drawn to them becauseyou have so much love for them.
Oh. I think that's the Imean, unless I'm wrong, you
tell me. I think I see. Oh, the way people stay married
for years and years. Yeah,well yeah, because the passion neurochemicals aren't
there in the same way in general. So so it's like you do the
(28:10):
dishes, you give a blowjob,that's just how you keep it together.
Yeah, how would you? Yeah, have you ever done dishes while you
were getting a blowjob? No?Wow, that'd be incredible. Wait,
that would be like a that'd belike a like a love hate thing.
It'd be like, I really hatedoing these dishes, but wow, this
is awesome. That'd be a goodway to rewire a love and like.
(28:30):
And then and then you end uphaving a fetish for doing dishes, right,
because it's like the only thing thatturns you on because it's like wired
into your brain that way, right, Honey, I want you to do
the dishes. No, I don't. Oh, oh, I'll do the
dishes. Yeah, he's done that. I'm looking at our clock. We're
running out of time here and Igotta well. I also have to get
(28:52):
to beach volleyball. I'm number fourtoday. But anyway, I want to
show so I'll tease this for nexttime. This is something like I said,
there's this concept of above the lineor below the line? Oh yeah,
what do you see on this verydetailed sheet I'm holding up there?
So I see courageous, aware,open, responsive with an arrow up above
the line. Below on the leftside of the sheet is defensive, controlling,
(29:12):
closed, reactive, and then youhave like flexible, curious, vulnerable,
owning emotions on the top, andthen on the bottom is rigid.
So would this be almost like apros and cons like what you're willing to
do? No, but that's aninteresting thought. The idea is intended to
be and I've pulled this from otherfolks, like this isn't my concept,
(29:33):
but now I'm kind of running withit. The idea of is in in
any moment that you're in a situationthat you're feeling triggered in some way that
you want to like lash out ata person or you want to emotionally retreat
or you have some kind of patternaround it, or you feel emotionally uncomfortable,
and so often you'll just maybe you'llgo into fight or flight, or
(29:55):
you go into like freeze, orlike you might kind of go into fawns
sometimes that you're like every things okay, and you go into pleaser mode.
Like all of those automatic patterns thatwe have pull us what's called in this
you know, kind of concept belowthe line that we are not present,
we are not mindful, we arenot recognizing and owning our emotions. We're
(30:17):
not staying open and aware and choosinghow we respond. We are on automatic
pilot. Where we are. Wecould be controlling, we could be defensive.
We're reactive. We're closed, we'rekind of we could be resistant,
we could be disrespectful. We're simplifyingthe situation. And it's this interesting concept
because I'm like, are you beingopen and mindful and curious and flexible and
(30:40):
listening even when you're feeling uncomfortable emotionsor you going into some sort of automatic
pattern and getting pulled below the line? Does that make sense? It does?
It doesn't. Actually, if we'regoing to do that thing, you
should bring that to the public thing. Yeah. Oh, I'd love to
talk about this concept. Yeah,it's neat. Yeah. So anyway,
we'll talk more next time about it, and I'll talk about how I was
(31:00):
using it and how I'm starting touse it. But anyway, yeah,
so well, congrats on may write. Nice work. Thank you very much.
It's a whole crew of people.But I gotta tell you I'm so
yes, thank god it's it wassuccessful because it's just you know, you
want to do it for the troopsand their families. And as long as
you remember that, you'll keep you. I'll keep going. It's when I
(31:21):
start, you know, getting allyou know, it's like a party,
you know, No, this persondidn't show up and get now forget all
that good good, all right,doctor Jen. Okay, well I will
see you next week. Then pleasetell the bohunk I said hello. I will te
When a world traveler you were inNapa, right, Uh, yeah,
I don't know. World travel doesnot count when it's still in my state.
Yeah, I know, But forall the times you do travel it,
it's true. Napa is freaking Ihave not been up there that much,
and I have never really like I'venever explored like some of the little
(00:20):
towns along that like main road inNapa. Yeah, even some like north
of the airport, the Santa Rosaairport there, because that's what I flew
into. Yeah, they are likelike they are my favorite types of little
towns. It is so great.I love it with the with the tasting
rooms and the cool restaurants and theoutdoor spaces and just the vibe. Like
(00:43):
freaking love it. So I wasup there for work. Yeah, so
I was up there for work,but I built in a bunch of time
around it to build, to exploreand do some tastings and check out coffee
shops, et cetera. So anyway, it was delightful. But I do
we'll come back to it. ButI have a concept called above the line
or below the line that I wasusing with the folks up there, and
I haven't anyway, I'll explain it. But it's a neat concept I think
(01:07):
for personal growth that can be reallya helpful little shortcut. So but you
just had may ride this past weekend, which can you give like a like
a two sentence description of it andthe point of it for anybody who doesn't
know. Sure, it is forour troops and their families to the arm
Services YMCA. And it's a motorcycleride in the morning and after party at
(01:29):
bigs Harley Davidson in the afternoon inSan Marcos, California. And it's that's
what it is. It's vendors andlive music and a kids zone and an
artist zone. And we actually hadfor the first year ever, a black
Hawk helicopter flyover Whoa. We hadtwenty one gun salute by the Marines.
We also had taps and a receremony. And there's a guy named Dan
in the classic rock band. That'sthe name of the band who served our
(01:53):
country. So when he offered allthis to me before the event started and
once we booked his band, Isaid this to him, even on the
stage. I even said it,I said on the radio. So I'm
not you know, say anything Iwouldn't say to him. I thought this,
dude, yeah, it's gonna happenwhatever. I said, sure,
and then he sends me the confirmationemail and I thought, yeah, somehow
(02:14):
they're gonna pull out. Something's gonnahappen. Holy they did it and I
was like whoa. And people arelooking up in the sky going what the
shit? And then the twenty onegun salute with taps was absolutely dB God.
Yeah. I looked at him.I go, hey, you think
they'll come again next year? Hegoes, I think they will. I'm
like, oh my god. Soit was good. The ride was down
(02:35):
a little bit. It was probablyonly a couple hundred riders in the actual
poker run, but the event wasoverall bigger and we had there's more people,
so it was a success. Howmany people overall would you say?
No, I don't know how goodI am at this, but my guesstimation
compared to other events events I've beento, and you know, last year's
May Ride and all these other things, I think we had four to five
(02:59):
thousand people throughout the day, notat once, A lot of people.
It's yeah, I mean I don'tthink I'm over selling it. I think
we had at least four thousand throughoutthe day. But I'm counting vendors and
everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh my god, congratulations, that's
really awesome. Good God, nowonder you get so stressed. That is
a lot of freaking moving parts.Got a good crew helping though, and
(03:22):
I got my crew back together,the may Ride Corps that we haven't had
for a few years since before COVID. Oh good. Yeah. I got
a few people who have said friendsof mine who said, dude, my
buddy Nick and my buddy Lawn bothkind of got on me a little bit.
Friday after we chalked the sidewalk inthe street and did all our stuff
the day before the actual event inpreparation for We're driving home in the same
(03:43):
truck and he says, Clint,you got to use this man. He
goes, we're more than a dayof And I go, are you sure,
dude, I'm planning at everything,and he goes, yep, we
want to. I said, okay. So after the event was over the
next day, there were a coupleof first timers, there were a couple
of second and third timers, andthen of course the fIF teen sixteen year
people and I just as we werewalking as the event was closing down,
(04:03):
I said, look, you know, anybody who wants to say no,
just tell me no later or now. Do You don't have to say yes
now. I'm just throwing it outthere. You guys want to be a
part of the core, all theplanning everything, And each one of them
go, we're in Oh, okay, so it's awesome. Yeah, I
mean it's going to be so muchbetter. And then the artist alley,
the guys there, Aj and Chrisone from Redbeard originally does custom leatherwork,
(04:30):
which is incredibly does artwork on leatherwork. If you ever look up red Beard
original his he is an artist man. Yeah. And then Chris from the
Low Side Clothing Company. You know, they came together. They did the
bike, the bike show, theartist show, and I talked to him
the following day after the event wasover, and I said, hey,
man, you know, maybe youwant to move to the front of the
BIGS parking lot, the front twentyfive percent of it rather than the backside.
(04:54):
Do you get more traffic that waybefore the front door? You know
what I mean? A big yeah? And he says, actually, man,
we were kind of talking. Canwe take over the entire parking lot
next year, and I go,the hell are you gonna fill the parking
lot with? I go, wegot to a bunch of vendors cause were
closed down the street too. Yeah, And and he says, uh,
man, we want to do likecar show. I said, wait a
second, you want to take thatover. I said, you talked to
(05:15):
Charlie and hot Rod Holly done.I said, that'll take so much off
my plate. And he goes allright. And then and he goes,
we want a circus in there,and I go, you know what's funny,
I said, that is the actualcircus. No, no, no,
so much going on you okay,okay, Well, because I was
like I didn't know. I waslike, yeah, I mean, hell,
we take that too. But theelephants and the lias. Heck yeah,
(05:38):
man, but I yeah, that'dgo well with the motorcycles and all
that noise. Jesus. But thebut I you know, I when he
said circus, I said, dude, you're speaking my language. Literally,
like years ago. We started offwith just a couple of vendors and a
ride and then food and all that. That was it. And then one
year I went to my buddy Mark. We started this together. I'm like,
hey, man, we need likemusic and we like energy. Yeah,
(06:00):
all kinds of different buzzing buzzing energy, right. And you know,
Mark had a good point at thetime. This is years ago, like
our second third one. He goes, Nah, man, we get you
know, just keep it just theWhy do you want a circus? I
said, because I want everyone towant to be there. Yeah, you
don't like motorcycles, you're there forthe vendors. If you don't like motorcycles
or vendors, you're there for themusic. You don't like anything, you're
(06:20):
there for the food. If you'renot there, you're there for the kids
zone. Well, and if youdon't like any of that stuff, you're
there for the fundraising, et cetera. So yeah, for the troops.
So so yeah, I'm pretty excited. And I even said to these guys,
I'm like, man, I'd loveto have you know, skaters in
the parking lot doing vert ramps andall that stuff. He goes, oh,
dude, that's exactly what we're talkingabout, skaters and dmxs. And
I got done. Let's do it, so sweet, good for you.
(06:44):
Oh my god, this is reallyreally neat, Like you know, it's
like an institution at this point inSan Diego. It's so cool. Well
yeah, and then you know thaton top of I don't know if I
told you the results of my MRIform my prostate. Wait did I not
tell you I should even get anMR. Well, I don't remember an
mrry. So I had the scopedone, right, he said there was
(07:05):
no evidence of cancer on the scope, but he wanted an MRI. Okay,
So we were done with the scopeand I looked at him in his
office and I go, okay,I'll do it. But I go,
you just said there's no you didn'tsee any cancer in the bladder or the
you know, I know we're doingit, you know, an MRI,
but you're not worried about cancer,are you. And he pauses and he
(07:25):
looks at me and he goes,well, we are doing an MRI.
And I was like, oh shit. So to hear that answer kind of
scared the hell out of me.So, uh, anyway, Yeah,
I got the results, dude,did a lot of pran and a lot
of just you know, I mean, I pushed everything forward like I,
oh, it'll be two months beforewe see you, because it takes a
while to get the MRI. Thevery minute the MRI people called, I
(07:46):
said, I'll take any appointment youhave as soon as you can get it.
I don't want to sit on thisfor two months wondering what's up.
Yeah. So the lady goes,oh, you know what, we just
got an opening for Monday, andI'm like, hell yes. So then
I go in there and as soonas I walk out, I go,
hey, how long do you getthe imaging to the urologist And oh,
he'll have it tomorrow, I said, right. So on my way in
(08:09):
the truck leaving there, I said, hey, you're getting the results tomorrow.
How soon can I get in.I haven't a part for two months.
I don't want to wait that long. They got me in two days
later. Yea in a half Iknew, yeah, and thank god.
He's like, you do have somekind of blockage. He goes, but
we know it's not cancer. Okay, okay, I said, you know,
I wish you didn't. He goes, but we are going to check
your PSA in six months and soyeah, so that's it. But anyway,
(08:31):
okay, so nothing, they're notthere's no intervention at this point.
Doesn't feel like it. No,and that's thank God for that. But
my whole point of that, sorry, was that may ride on that you
know, being past me right nowis like big size of relief. Yeah.
Well, so, okay, thismight not be the best time to
(08:52):
pitch this to you, but maybeif you're feeling that relief and excitement,
well before you do, hold on, I'm going to Oh, I got
the Santie Street Fair this weekend afterthe shop, which I'm gonna be gone
from five to fifty am until sevenpm. This isn't like for now,
and then a ride club the nextweekend. Okay, no, no,
so but what I was thinking,and I think this is because of one
(09:15):
maybe I think honestly, it's takenme four years post COVID to even feel
like I want to do anything again, like like big public events, which
I used to do all the time. I you know, World Sexual Healthy,
you know, even my book launchparty, Like I have always created
events. I make them fundraisers forlocal nonprofits, the educational stuff like I've
(09:37):
always the Vagina Monologues as fundraisers andplays like I have always movie screenings.
I have always done stuff like thisfor like years. Yeah, and my
whole time in San Diego, andI just started planning another one when COVID
shut things down. It even gottena sponsor for it four years ago,
and then I just have not wantedto do it again. But something I
(09:58):
got a little tingling in me again. Talk to the boy friend, Well,
you take care of those other tingles. But it reminded me of before
COVID shut everything down. You andI had looked at that space, that
beautiful auditorium space at iHeart Radio atyour station. Oh that's right, and
(10:22):
we had thought, we're like,let's do a live sex talk with Clinton
the Dock. And we had donea little one for Valentines, remember,
and we had fielded people's questions.And then we're like, we looked at
that space when I was in atthe studio. It is a beautiful space,
and we're like, maybe we canuse it. Maybe we can get
it for free because you're there,and we do it all as a fundraiser
for something, but we do likea live sex talk with Clinton the Dock.
(10:46):
So anyway, I will just plantthat seat, so I'll say this,
I can at least ask. Idon't know how the company is about,
you know, because then they'd haveto have like promotional people. And
because it's you know, it's asecured building. Yeah, so I'll ask.
I will absolutely ask, and ifand if they if we cannot.
There is a different brewery that iscalled BNS. They actually have a room
(11:09):
that I threw my dad's eightieth birthdayparty and with a stage, and it's
really quite nice. It is nice. It's not what we did last time,
even though I love that place.It's gone now, but I love
I love the old pid okay,but it was just where we were sitting
and where they set us up wasnot here. Yeah, yeah, No,
this one is like I could evenget pictures and it's in a very
(11:31):
good brewery. It's a Western typeof theme. Okay, trust me,
you go in this room, Ibet you could fit one hundred people.
Easy, nice, okay, yeah, all right. Anyway, I just
want to play off that seat,so okay, but nothing for now.
Just think on it. Hey,listen, I'm all in. You do
all the planning. No. Sothe thing is I will and that's no,
(11:54):
no, but I don't want youto do much. The thing is,
I like I probably need you,yeah, for a low cation and
then obviously to be advertising it inthe avenues that you have, including the
radio, and I will be doingit as well. But yeah, no,
I don't. I wouldn't. Idon't want you to have to do
a ton of work around it.I truly want us to work as a
team, and I'm happy to takemore of the planning on my side around
(12:16):
it. So wow, I wastotally joking. But oh yeah, no,
no that no, no, no, yeah, please know that that's
that would be my intent around it. So okay, switching gears, plant
that seed and listeners out there,if you would like to come to this,
please message us and let us know. No, you know what,
I agree with you, doctor Jenya. Anybody listening right now, if you
(12:37):
have any interest whatsoever, that wouldgive us a decent gauge to find out,
you know, if if there'd beany traction with it. Yeah,
yeah, which I would think therewould be. I mean yeah, because
you every time, every time Isell this podcast, I'm always talking about
your qualifications and how you know you'rethe smart one with all the information.
I'm the one who asked the questions, you know, and tries to add
(12:58):
some levity. Both of us do. But that's the thing. If you
want to learn something Yeah, andyou did some really cool games last time.
We should do all those again.Remember the stickets or what a sticky
notes on the board or whatever.It was not sticky notes, but the
you had to pick like a cardor something. Right. Yeah, Well,
I think I had my I havea board that I set up on
(13:18):
an easel that actually came through SanDiego rep Theater when I collaborated with them
on a play. They had createdthis thing with my sexual like fun facts
in it, and so it askedthe question the outside and then you flip
it up and the answers on theinside so you can quiz yourself. Yeah,
so I still have that. Ijust brought that to an event.
I hardly ever do local events.I'm always like flying places, so I
(13:39):
never get to use that. Butyeah, I brought that out to a
local talk I gave a few weeksago. But you also had one where
they like was it that they justwrote down questions and then we read them
or know the r Something else wedid that is that was at my book
launch party you're picturing. I thinkI had people answer questions and then they
wrote it on different color sticky noteand put it up on a wall.
(14:01):
I don't actually I need I don'tactually remember what it was exactly was because
if theyre will remember because she washelping me run everything that night. Yeah,
because it was really good. Yeah, and it was fun because I
think I have some pictures of itsomewhere and they could remain anonymous. That
was the whole thing about it.Rosy randomly picked the stickies off and you
(14:22):
go, okay, and if theywrite their name, fine, they're fine
with it. If they don't,yeah, no, but it was Yeah,
it was a way of like theywere like kind of personal sexual sensual
questions and you could read people's answers. Yeah. I love doing stuff like
that, Like I literally for yearsand years. Anytime I host a gathering,
I always work on ideas to helppeople meet new people, to help
(14:46):
open conversation between strangers, and whetherit's what they write on their like name
sticker, we had that also,Yeah, that's the one that I can
remember, yes, yes, yeah, so I have multiple. I also
had I had questions on tables,like little questions on there to help Like
if you were standing at a tableputting a drink down with a stranger,
(15:07):
you could look at them and belike Hey, let's try to answer this.
So I just I had all sortsof stuff built in and I hear
this over the years. I havefriends that I have, like people that
have met at my events, thathave like collaborated on writing books together,
you know, so they've gone intobusiness together like just that they've become good
friends, like all sorts of traveledtogether. Because this is, you know,
(15:31):
so what I try to do.But anyway, I miss that.
That was a big part of mypersonality of creating community and helping people connect
and have fun and while doing itaround you know, topics and personal things
we don't normally talk about. SoI'm it's it's stirring in me again and
I want to I want to followthat. And you were the first place
(15:52):
my mind went with us doing somethingtogether. Yeah, let's talk. Let's
try and figure out. Okay,I'm in place and all that stuff.
Yeah, awesome. Okay, SoI got a person who a dude who
messaged me on Facebook that I don'tknow, and he wrote question for doctor
Jen. I've been with a lotof women and all of them have been
(16:14):
totally shaved. Why do all womenshave these days? None have any pubic
hair? At all, am Iweird to feel to feel like all women
look alike. I think some hairmakes a woman look more like a woman.
Just wanted some help on the issue. Thanks, and I wrote,
Hey, so and so, that'sbeen an interesting cultural shift in the past
twenty five years around pubic hair,and it tends to vary a lot by
(16:37):
generation. I'm going to bring thistopic up next week on my podcast with
Clint August and we'll discuss but I'llkeep your name. I'm on anonymous.
Here's the thing. I know thisguy didn't mean this as a question on
our podcast, but I was like, I'll use that as a question on
my podcast. I'm glad you did, because I'll tell you something. I've
actually kind of wondered that myself,Like what happened there? Like, I,
(17:00):
well, I shouldn't get information anyway, Yeah, because how do you
personally know that? You would notpersonally know that, I guess not.
I know. I was like,what did you just reveal their Clinton?
Well, okay, so obviously it'sprobably dudes. Dudes have been sharing it
with you. I guess we ain'tme And yes, I was gonna say
friends have talked about it and allthat and a lot of friends prefer that.
(17:21):
And I don't think it's good orbad. I don't mind, for
lack of a better term, alanding strip or or whatever you want to
call it, a little bit orthe diamond or whatever. I again,
not bad if they want to doit, do that, but I don't.
I guess I don't get why it'sso is the word trendy? Is
that even right? Oh? Itabsolutely is, because if you go back
thirty years, it was not athing. But I don't get it why
(17:45):
though? Okay, wait, letme okay, first, let's and then
he wrote, thanks, what's yourtake on it? Am? I weird
to want to feel it and seeit on a woman, And he goes
in one last note, I've beenwith older and younger women and all seem
to shave it. Just a weirddynamic. And then I didn't write back
because I said, we talk aboutit on the podcast, so so I
(18:11):
can remember, and I feel likemaybe we talked. We must have talked
about this a few years ago onour podcast at some point. But I
was a grad student at University atAlbany in upstate New York. I was
doing sexual health education. I waslike my my assistantship, and so I
was in like the counseling building andlike the health building, and that's where
(18:33):
my office was for like twenty hoursa week, and I can remember.
And it was also where it wasso great, like if I ever needed
to see my gnecologist or get apap smear, I literally would like look
at my clock and be like,uh, my pap smear, got a
college appointments in one minute, AndI would leave my office and walk around
to the other side, the otherwing of the hall. It was all
on the second floor and go inand drop trow and get my pap smear
(18:59):
done. And I remember the onetime she told me, and so I
was probably you know, I'm gonnaguess I was about maybe twenty eight at
this point. So this was twentyeight, thirty eight, forty eight,
twenty four years ago. Twenty threewas that right? Twenty three years ago?
(19:22):
Because I'm fifty one now, Icalculating, right, Yeah, so
twenty three years ago, I think. So. I remember my godacologist saying
one of the years there was ashift from May at the end of one
semester when she saw students, she'sseeing young you know, college women students
eighteen did twenty two or so tillthe next september when they came back.
There was one year and so I'mguessing that it was maybe two thousand,
(19:48):
two thousand and one around that time. And she said, all of the
sudden, all of these young womenwere shaved and didn't have pubic hair,
like it was a shift that summerlike with that age college women. Was
my theory around it has always beenbecause I remember first hearing about stuff like
this around like anal sex, whenlike anal sex became a very like normal
(20:15):
thing in quote unquote normal thing inheterosexual relationships, and that young women being
like, oh, I guess thisis what we do in sex? Are
we having we do anal now,you know? And they felt like it
was they it was expected of them. These trends seem to take place from
what I've seen, like ten yearsor so after they become like popular and
(20:38):
porn and they start to show up, they become kind of popular, and
then it takes a while, andthen they seem to then at some point
have a tipping point, like withthe younger generation, I think, where
then it's quote unquote normal and thisis what you do. So that's my
theory on it, that it's actuallyporn leading the way on things like this.
(21:03):
So just to address him, andI know you're going to get there
yourself in my opinion, he asked, is he weird for wanting to see
touch and field hair. I don'tthink so at all. But I also
but I also don't think you're weirdif you do want just completely shaven.
It's whatever you prefer. I thinkit's where I come right. I don't
think any of it's weird where Icome in. Is that the most you
(21:23):
know? When I remember at firstbecoming a thing and talking to young women
about it, they were talking abouthair being gross, and that to me
is the problem that this is anormal part of your body. This is
a normal The hair is there fora reason because it helps protect women.
It gives cushioning, it helps keeplike you know, infection, the things
(21:45):
out like. It's there for areason, for multiple reasons, for warmth,
right and right and so. Andto be and view it as gross
like that is would you just say, oh my god, it flew over?
I said, taste, okay,it's tweet. If you're clean,
it doesn't matter. No, Iwas my God, it was just because
you said for protection and this andthat and it Fanta said that taste I
(22:08):
was being dirty. Okay, youdon't even get it. That failed anyway,
That to me is the issue.And they and then that young women
then like they're like, no,I just like it smoother, it looks
better, it feels better. Itjust feels more natural to me. Bullshit,
(22:32):
you've learned that. You have learnedthat because it was attached to something
that was disgusting or made you lookless attractive, and you learned that,
and you learn and then you don'twant to get judged for it, and
you don't want to feel embarrassed andyou don't want to feel shame, and
you don't want to feel rejected,and then it becomes a normal thing that
then we justify in our head,well this is this feels more natural,
(22:52):
it feels more smooth, it looksbetter, it's more sexy. And then
that becomes a cultural norm. Butit is not more natural and it is
not easier. And can you tell, because I'm sure we've talked about this
before. I'm a big like fanof the Bush, big fan, big
like I have never I will dobikini line, especially like you know,
(23:15):
because of wearing bathing suits and such, and keep that shave. But like,
and I will trim because I thinkit's fun to be able to see
your genitals a bit more. Yeah, but I but I have never removed
any part of my bush, likethe proper bush. The only reason I
(23:37):
even trim at all is just justbecause it a little more manhood down there.
I'm like, hey, you aredown there, buddy. Yeah.
So anyway, I you know,here's my thought for this guy who I'm
gonna call a listener, because ifhe wants he answered to his question,
he has to listen. So thankyou for writing. Appreciate it. I'm
(24:00):
just using But I think I mean, I get right at this point.
Then. You know, we allhave taste and sort of like more of
what we like in a body ora face or hair like head, hair,
personalities, all sorts of stuff.But often like if we really like
somebody for who they are and feelan emotional and mental connection with them,
(24:23):
we often kind of tend to havea lot of flexibility around the physical piece
because we still really like that person. Yeah, and so a lot of
things can turn us on. Sothat's one suggestion is, you know,
try not to get too fixated onanything being a certain way, because that
just we gets you know, weget stuck in a box, and we
put other people in a box.But the other piece is is like,
(24:47):
you know, talk to the womenthat you're with and you could be like,
hey, yeah, this is great, I think you look great.
And just so you know, likeI actually love hair down there. So
if you want to grow it inand give yourself a break from having to
remove it all the time and givethat a chance, I would love to
see it. So because I dothink there's a space in giving women permission
to even know that there's a differentway of doing things and that they can
(25:08):
still be considered attractive and sexy.We have such limited, narrow versions of
that in our society that create practicallyimpossible standards for women, and then we're
always feeling bad about our bodies andthere's just this ongoing maintenance that's even crazier
as we age. So that's mysuggestion, Well, say this thoughts on
(25:29):
yours. No, No, I'mwith you one hundred percent. I think
it's just personal taste, simply personaltaste, and again personal taste about you,
your own body, you know,and you talked just a second ago
about looking past some of these thingswhen you have a certain ideal I guess
product or expectation in your mind forphysical appearance, that you'll look past it
when you have that emotional connection.I one hundred percent agree. Years ago,
(25:52):
I was dating a girl who Iwas well before my wife. I'm
talking like into into. She wasawesome and beautiful in the whole thing.
But when I remember one day,specifically Mission Beach, she went into the
waves and I was sitting on thesand. Now I was a trainer at
the time, and we were bothin pretty good shape. But I noticed
when the sun when she was facinginto the water knee deep, I noticed
(26:15):
a little bit and I don't meana lot, just a little bit of
cellulite on the back of her legs. You couldn't see it when the sun
wasn't shining on it was yeah,and they didn't look bad at all.
And I gotta tell you I knewright then and there how indo I was
because it did not matter to melike it. It didn't turn me off
in the least. So you're right, when you're into somebody, none of
that shit matters, none of it. Yeah, well, I mean again
(26:36):
once you but see here, I'llgo back to this too though. When
you first meet somebody, there hasto be an attraction. And I don't
even mean they have to be Kenand Barbie. I'm just saying, yeah,
there's got to be an attraction oryou don't take it any further.
That's how you get to know eachother. So you could be four hundred
pounds, you know, four oreleven or you know, five foot ten
and one ninety perfect shape if youthink the other person is beautiful, Yeah,
(27:00):
it looks matter because you're attracted tothem, and then you get to
know them, and that's where itgrows. I think, no matter what,
does that make sense? Yeah,but just be care I'm gonna say,
be careful of your languaging of sayingthat one person, one body versus
someone else who's in quote unquote perfectshape. Yeah. Just just what I
mean is whether it's so much impossiblebullshit out there. So but yes,
(27:25):
I get your point taken for sure. Yeah. And the thing is that
is in the beginning, like that'slike the neurochemicals of desire and reproduction that
he can and then like those canabsolutely fade over time, but hopefully you
have so much, you know,really healthy attraction and affection and love and
(27:45):
safety and trust with this person thateven as we age and our bodies change,
you're still really drawn to them becauseyou have so much love for them.
Oh. I think that's the Imean, unless I'm wrong, you
tell me. I think I see. Oh, the way people stay married
for years and years. Yeah,well yeah, because the passion neurochemicals aren't
there in the same way in general. So so it's like you do the
(28:10):
dishes, you give a blowjob,that's just how you keep it together.
Yeah, how would you? Yeah, have you ever done dishes while you
were getting a blowjob? No?Wow, that'd be incredible. Wait,
that would be like a that'd belike a like a love hate thing.
It'd be like, I really hatedoing these dishes, but wow, this
is awesome. That'd be a goodway to rewire a love and like.
(28:30):
And then and then you end uphaving a fetish for doing dishes, right,
because it's like the only thing thatturns you on because it's like wired
into your brain that way, right, Honey, I want you to do
the dishes. No, I don't. Oh, oh, I'll do the
dishes. Yeah, he's done that. I'm looking at our clock. We're
running out of time here and Igotta well. I also have to get
(28:52):
to beach volleyball. I'm number fourtoday. But anyway, I want to
show so I'll tease this for nexttime. This is something like I said,
there's this concept of above the lineor below the line? Oh yeah,
what do you see on this verydetailed sheet I'm holding up there?
So I see courageous, aware,open, responsive with an arrow up above
the line. Below on the leftside of the sheet is defensive, controlling,
(29:12):
closed, reactive, and then youhave like flexible, curious, vulnerable,
owning emotions on the top, andthen on the bottom is rigid.
So would this be almost like apros and cons like what you're willing to
do? No, but that's aninteresting thought. The idea is intended to
be and I've pulled this from otherfolks, like this isn't my concept,
(29:33):
but now I'm kind of running withit. The idea of is in in
any moment that you're in a situationthat you're feeling triggered in some way that
you want to like lash out ata person or you want to emotionally retreat
or you have some kind of patternaround it, or you feel emotionally uncomfortable,
and so often you'll just maybe you'llgo into fight or flight, or
(29:55):
you go into like freeze, orlike you might kind of go into fawns
sometimes that you're like every things okay, and you go into pleaser mode.
Like all of those automatic patterns thatwe have pull us what's called in this
you know, kind of concept belowthe line that we are not present,
we are not mindful, we arenot recognizing and owning our emotions. We're
(30:17):
not staying open and aware and choosinghow we respond. We are on automatic
pilot. Where we are. Wecould be controlling, we could be defensive.
We're reactive. We're closed, we'rekind of we could be resistant,
we could be disrespectful. We're simplifyingthe situation. And it's this interesting concept
because I'm like, are you beingopen and mindful and curious and flexible and
(30:40):
listening even when you're feeling uncomfortable emotionsor you going into some sort of automatic
pattern and getting pulled below the line? Does that make sense? It does?
It doesn't. Actually, if we'regoing to do that thing, you
should bring that to the public thing. Yeah. Oh, I'd love to
talk about this concept. Yeah,it's neat. Yeah. So anyway,
we'll talk more next time about it, and I'll talk about how I was
(31:00):
using it and how I'm starting touse it. But anyway, yeah,
so well, congrats on may write. Nice work. Thank you very much.
It's a whole crew of people.But I gotta tell you I'm so
yes, thank god it's it wassuccessful because it's just you know, you
want to do it for the troopsand their families. And as long as
you remember that, you'll keep you. I'll keep going. It's when I
(31:21):
start, you know, getting allyou know, it's like a party,
you know, No, this persondidn't show up and get now forget all
that good good, all right,doctor Jen. Okay, well I will
see you next week. Then pleasetell the bohunk I said hello. I will te
Sex Talk with Clint & The Doc News
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