Chainsaws on a Plane - ATS - 4.12.24

HAPPY FRIDAY ROADIES! IT'S CHAINSAW FRIDAY! You're favorite day of the week! Thank you for listening, we love you! 

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Let's play Maybe Rock ninety five tofive. Good morning, Happy Fridday.
Auntie Taylor's show is on. What'sup, Roadies, what's a maris?
Good morning, Little Stay, goodmorning, good morning, good morning,
it's friing eye by bye. Notonly is it Friday, it's chainsaway.

(00:22):
Don't call you for the chainsaw.However, we do have two chase sauce.
Yes, we do before ten am, and then chainsaws all day free
chainsaw Friday. People go crazy forthe chainsaws. They love the Chaine.
Oh, the chain saws and springs. Coming time to cut down some trees,
butches, whatever, neighbors. Yes, two chain saws today, Aerosmith

(00:45):
and Black Crows. We have ticketsfor that show. Finally they're coming back,
staying in Breaking Benjamin. Tickets forthat Minnesota barber is here today.
It's gonna be sixty today, cloudy. But the weekend, oh my goodness,
Saturday and Sunday, both sunny andin the upper seventies. Don't be

(01:06):
gorgeous, gorgeous, just like you. Thank you for listening, Rodies.
We love you. You've been workingall night, you've been up driving,
whatever you're doing. We love thatyou're here. Thank you, so much.
First thing we do every day iskick you in the crotch. Let's
do it. It's the five Amkicking the crush on the Angie Tayler Show.
Rock Yeah, mus I'm pitches.It's Friday. Friday means what flare?

(01:36):
Flare? Fuck twenty five to five. Your face is melted off.
It's Friday. You've been kick babybath. Oh my gosh, banging my
head so hard that one. Thatwas intense. I don't well, it's
a kick in the crotch. Iknow that is what it's supposed to do.

(01:57):
We were supposed to wake you up. Okay, I'm terrified. What's
going to happen at riot Fest now? Oh my god, Rya Fest is
going to be insane with Slayer.I'm sure we'll have more tickets before Rya
Fest, but we were giving youyour Slayer tickets earlier in the year,
and we'll have more. You knowwhat's crazy. We're all so pumped about
riot Fest with one band right now. One band. That's all it takes
announced to everybody else, That's allit takes. If if Slayer was playing

(02:21):
your kid's birthday party, I'd belike, I can't wait, let's go
well get We're gonna tell you whathappened on this day. Our look back
in history is next is lit Rockonty five to five. Good morning,
Auntie Taylor, show how you doing? Happy Frida Day. All right,
let's tell you what happened on thisday. Today is April twelfth, twenty

(02:44):
twenty four. On this day,April twelfth, nineteen forty six, Ed
O'Neill is born, modern family andmarried with children. Superstar is seventy eight
today. I know, I didn'trealize he was that old. Chicago is
a birthplace of two of the greatestshoe salesmen ever, one of them Michael

(03:04):
Jordan, the other one Al Bundy. I forgot he worked at a shoe
He was a shoe salesman on thisday. In nineteen eighty one, heavyweight
boxing lettergend Joe Lewis died at theage of sixty six. He held the
world title for a record twelve yearsand won sixty eight of his seventy one
fights. And he would never fightJake Paul. I mean never, with

(03:30):
a record like that, I don'tthink Jake Paul would fight him. Well,
look at Tyson, He's fighting Tyson. In nineteen ninety three. On
this day, Lisa Bonnet divorced LennyKravitz in a life of horrible decisions.
That's got to be the worst Lenny. I don't what do he do?

(03:51):
Just two beautiful people, They're sobeautiful, and then they had Zoe and
she's beautiful, more beautiful, somuch beauty. Today's Florida Man drunk Florida
man found asleep at the wheel,arrested for duy after trying to moonwalk through
his sobriety tests. He probably knewhe was busting. He's like, I'm

(04:12):
toast, I might as well goout and have fun. I mean,
that's one way to surely get arrested. Oh yeah, yeah. He's like,
oh, this is not gonna begood. Might as well moon walk
it out. It also must havebeen a really bad moonwalk. That's what
happened on this day. Thanks forbeing with us today on Rock ninety five
to five Rock ninety five five acDC. Happy Fried day to be sixty

(04:33):
today, cloudy, maybe a sprinklehere or there, but hang on tight,
because this is going to be aweekend for the books. Like weatherwise,
seventies, mid seventies, close toeighty and sunny, all weekend opring
is officially here. It's sprung Baby. I got some dird news for you.
No, there's a new animated teenagemutant ninja Turtles movie in the works,

(05:00):
live action, but this one willbe r rated. They said it's
animated. The reports are live action. Ooh. It's called The Last Ronin
Yes, based on a story thatran in the comics recently. It's pretty
dark, very dark. In atotalitarian future, Master Splinter and the Turtles
are being killed off one by oneby the grandson of Shredder and his gang

(05:23):
of synthetic ninjas. Only one Turtlesurvives and vows bloody revenge using the weapons
of all four turtles. You yougave it, You're all left it,
all on the floor, on thefloor. Okay, how do we feel

(05:45):
about this? I'm Maris Well.I read that comic two years ago and
have been obsessed ever since. Andit's basically branch the Turtles into a darker
adult zone for their adult fans,which is brilliant and amazing. The new
movie the animated series just came out, as you know, a fairy kid
friendly, but this one's for thisone's for the grown and sexy. Yes,

(06:06):
for the grown, and they've teaseda video game that they're working on,
and it sounds like this movie isgonna come before the video game or
same time. But the fact theparamount is investing in an R rated Ninja
Turtle movie. Calm down, Okay, all right, she's gone, she's
gone, blacking out. You gotall right? I'm pumped. Do you

(06:29):
know, like, since this isbased on the comic that you read,
do you know who the lone survivingTurtle is. I'm not spoiling in it
for everybody. Is it your guy? I don't know what you're talking about.
It's your guy. Nope, it'snot. I'm not gonna tell you
what color the headband does he wear? It could be red orangenge blue or

(06:51):
purple. God, yeah, it'shey, listen, it's a good.
Let me tell you something. I'mnever going to see this stupid movie.
You're not. I'm not worried aboutyou. I'm worried about the other Ninja
Turtle fans out. You're worried aboutthe other nerds. That's so cute ahead
of all the Ninja Turtles. Maris, thank you. Yes, all right,
I'm gonna tell you what's up foryour day. I know it's not

(07:12):
as breaking news amazing as the NinjaTurtle announcement I just had, but everything
you need to know is coming up. And what's up? Yeah, zeb
Lapperg, Good morning, Rodies,Happy for Friday. Keep listening for the
chainsaw. Listen, don't call yetfor the chainsaw, but you'll know.
Hey, thank you for being hereevery single day. Happy Friday. Almost

(07:32):
at the weekend. Let me tellyou what's up for your day. Angie
will now fill your brain with theright amount of crap for your day.
Here's what's up. We broke thisnews late in the show yesterday, but
O. J. Simpson died aftera battle with cancer. Did you know

(07:54):
he had cancer? I don't thinkhe told anybody. I didn't know.
Yeah, he was seventy six.You know. The bio won the Heisman
Trophy running back for USC. Thenhe had a record breaking NFL career with
the Buffalo Bills. After that hetransitioned to a career of murdering people and
beating women. So sorry, notsorry. OJ's family is asking for privacy

(08:20):
and grace. So OJ died owingthe Goldmans more than one hundred million dollars,
including interests and they still plan ongrabbing whatever they can if anything's left.
Ron Goldman's father, Fred released astatement saying, the only thing I
have to say is it's for thereminder of Ron being gone all these years.

(08:41):
I guess it would bring all thatback. Yeah, you know.
The same day OJ's death was announced, Ford recalled more than twenty two thousand
Broncos. Wow, but they stillmake Broncos. They have new bron You
haven't seen the new ones. Theywere. Those new Broncos were like back

(09:03):
ordered forever. But they're Honestly thoughthat that nineties Bronco is amazing. I
love that Bronco really yeah, Iwould die to have one of those nineties
Broncos. Was so cool. Maybenot in white or whatever. Probably not
in white now, so by okay. It now appears, according to a

(09:28):
federal Appidata Affidavid filed yesterday, thatOtani's interpreter me too, haa. We
have stolen way more than the fourpoint five million that was initially reported.
Federal investigators now believe that Metohara gotaway with more than sixteen million dollars from

(09:48):
Otani's accounts over a two year periodto allegedly pay off illegal gambling debts.
Beds are now accusing him of bankfraud, which can come with a max
some fine a million dollars in upto thirty years in prison. I need
somebody to let me know what bankOtani's using so that I don't use that

(10:09):
bank. Well, there's no way. It seems ye, right, But
it seems like he's just giving outhis bank account information to everybody. His
interpreter. How does he steal sixteenmillion dollars and you didn't know? That's
a lie. No, he didn'tknow because he's rich Richard. No,
he I think I still think heknew. I still think he's behind it.

(10:30):
I know, I still think they'recovering for him. This scream shenanigans.
Okay. Starting Thursday, Chicagoans willbe able to book a taxi ride
through the Uber app. Uber announceda new phase of partnership with the Chicago
taxi industry, which will provide nearlyone hundred percent of Chicago's taxi drivers with
access to bring Uber trip referrals.The new option is available through the app.

(10:56):
It works similarly to booking a regularride, except there will now be
a taxi option. According to Ubers, riders will pay the uber x rate.
Oh yeah, we'll receive upfront pricingin the app. I mean,
I love I love taxis. Ifeel like after COVID and you know,

(11:18):
the streets were just dead, andespecially in the Loop, like nobody was
coming into the offices. You don'tsee as many taxes as you used to
back in the day. You know, Like I love Uber and I love
Lyft for what they do, butsometimes I need to walk outside, right
and just grab one real places ina car. But I do miss that
part. There have been times whereI haven't had my car here at work

(11:39):
and I'm like, I just wantto go home real quick. I want
to like pull up the app tofind a place to go because this is
a real hrky jerky area we're in, and then try to find this Uber
and try to hail. Like justseeing a cab light come up, I'm
like, yes, thankfully, Likethe hotel right next to us, they
have this little taxi that's always whereI book the Uber. But I love

(12:00):
just hailing a cap real quick,right, But this is pretty cool,
So way to go. They're tryingto, They said, we firmly believe
that Uber and taxis are better together. So they're trying to work together.
No, I like that. Makethat money. Everybody. All right,
that's what's up for your day.Thanks for being with us today on Rock
ninety five to five. Hollay Sabbath, Rock ninety five to five. Good

(12:22):
morning, roadies, Thank you somuch for listening. Auntie Taylor show.
I'm gonna get the hell out ofhere because Minnesota Barb, my former boss.
I don't know why you guys lether in the building. She's coming
up next. She has well,she sneaks in, she sneaks in.
She's got to how she get bestsecured because they're always sleeping. Well,
yeah, they're always asleep at thatdesk. She's bribing them with ludafisk or

(12:45):
something, ludifus. Yeah, lookat you. How you know about ludifus.
What do you know about ludifus.Pay attention to the Minnesotans when y'all
come Minnesotans. Is that the properturn? No, it's Minnesotans, Oh,
Minnesotans. But that's funny, likeminnesot oceans better. I'm from Minnesota.
Minnesota Barb is next, Rock ninetyfive to five. Angie Taylor used

(13:07):
to work in a bait shop inMinnesota. Now our former boss is demanding
on airtime. Here's the hot dishwith Minnesota bar Here we go, here
we go? He so, whatso? What's so? What's us on?
Not right out? Good morning,Barb? I need to get your
Nay playlist because it's getting better.How are you today, Barb? I'm

(13:31):
great? How you doing, Maris? Did you bring me this time?
I've heard it's great, ludifsk whatdo you know about that? I just
heard it's amazing. They fermented andlie, which is what they used to
keep body bodies alive. Oh mygod, Hey, I got some hot
dish for you. Let's go.Soul gen Z loves reminding the rest of

(13:56):
us how old we are that weare? Yeah. Someone asks people to
name random signs you're officially old.Now here's a few signs. You eat
tombs like candy. Yeah that's athing. I see them right there on
your desk, marr. Oh yeah, you still print your boarding past just
in case every time you do.Yeah, well you're old. You can't

(14:20):
stand or sit without making some kindof noise. Yeah that's yeah, yep.
Every time you watch the local newsevery night and say things like what's
this world coming to now? Ido that in the morning. It's because
you work with Taylor. Yeah,you start conversations with strangers in public.

(14:43):
No, absolutely not good for you. Don't trust no bitch. You leave
the plastic on things to keep themnew. You recently said, how do
you work this dang thing? OhI've never se said that. No,
handy man, very much hand Finally, you know you're old if you got

(15:09):
Taylor Bush, Taylor Bush, pubeso gray. It looks like Polly Walnuts
is hiding between her legs. Ohmy, that's next, love God,
so wats So what's what's right up? All right, have a great weekend.

(15:30):
Always great to see you. I'llbring you louta fisk next time.
Ooh, thank you. I gota nice piece of fish between my legs.
Oh my gosh. Pod Rock ninetyfive to five. We were just
talking about these conjoined twins that arebeing reported to about to no end,

(15:50):
Abby and Britney Hensel m hm.And they married a dude. One of
them married a dude. Well,and now here we go. It's a
package deal. But it's a womanwith two heads. So if they're conjoined
twins, but like they feel allthe same sensations, right, correct,

(16:11):
but they have separate brains. Correct, And I'm like, well, did
they both like have a chit chatand agree that this is the guy they're
gonna marry, or did one ofthem like the guy and the other one's
like, I don't like this dude? Like did they have an argument face
to face so much? I'm justI'm trying to figure it out. So,

(16:40):
if I've read it, got onevagina, If I've read the internet
correctly, one of the twins isofficially married to the man and the other
one is basically along for the ride. So okay, so one of them
was down for this dude and theother one's like, mm hm, she
just kind of you know, dothey both wear a ring? Well that's

(17:07):
subjective because like if they're one body, then the one body one vagina,
one left hand right, uh huh, so they would be sharing them.
What is the one head do whenthe other one is having sex with this
man? What is she doing?So I don't know if this is accurate,
but the Internet said that the onetwin reads a book because she feels,

(17:38):
but she feels the sex. Shestill wears one vegina. Yes,
they would still feel the same.But she's reading a book. This dude
can't bang. He's not he's nothitting it, right. If the other
one's just sitting there reading a book, he's not hitting it right. Yeah,
Because even if you don't want tohave sex with this man, he's
still having sex with you because youshare a vagina. That brings of a

(18:00):
whole other conversation. That's not whatI'm talking We're talking about conjoined twins.
Yes, but she feels all thisfeels, so he he must not be
able to hit it because she's readinga book. I mean, I'm so
many questions. Yes, I dotoo, and I think that's why the
internet is just absorbed in this rightnow. I would be so pissed if

(18:25):
I was a conjoined twin. Canyou imagine the other angie, the other
shoulder? Oh good god, Iwould murder myself. I would kill us.
I would kill us. We wouldhave two different personalities. I already
have eighteen. Well there you go, and you would split nine, no
for each. I couldn't take someother bitch in my ear all day the

(18:47):
way I am, the way Iam, Oh my god, Oh you
know, would be amazing for thisdude that's married to them. Don't do
it, tea bagging, don't doit because they have two mouths. I
just so many questions. Anyway,I'm gonna tell you about this. I'm

(19:10):
gonna change the subject. I gottatell you about this dude that is robbing
banks on the south Side. He'sknown as the north Face Puffy Jacket Bandit.
Wow, that's a very long name. Yep, I'm gonna tell you
about him. Next Rock ninety fiveto five Red Hat Chili Pepper is rocking
your Friday Auntie Taylor Show. Goodmorning. Hey, we got a we
got a robber. There's a robberm here, bank robber robin North and

(19:34):
south Side banks. They're calling himthe north Face Puffy Jacket Bandit. Name's
too long because he's got this hugenorth face puffer with like the hood with
the furs on it. But yeah, he's been robbing all these banks.
Bank robbery, City Bank branch onDevon Wednesday, Chase Bank branch on Archer.

(20:00):
He's threatening bank employees with violence ifthey don't hand over money. The
suspect. This is where it's kindof interesting. In the reporting. The
suspect is described as a male inhis thirties with a medium build and complexion.
What's a medium complexion? Hi?So I'm like, there's a still

(20:23):
shot from the security camera of him, and I want to know, like
who wrote this report? Because medium? So he's not white, he's not
black, he's medium. Medium,He's on the skin tone spectrum somewhere,
you know what, he's Okay.I wonder how long it took them to

(20:51):
write that sentence, like how dowe describe They weren't even thinking about it
they wrote it. I feel likethey probably sat there for a real long
time and they're like, well,he's not white, he's not black.
Nope, what are we gonna callhim? That was We're gonna call him
medium. That was something that theythought about before, Like it's a color,
Like it's a toast, Like,how would you like your toast?
Not white? Not black? Iwant a medium, absolutely terrible. Be

(21:17):
on the lookout for the north faced, puffy jacket, the bandit medium medium,
medium man medium out here five sixall right? Uh? You know
what, we would be able toidentify him if he was robbing this bank
with a chainsaw. Medium man whowants a chainsaw? Yeah, come home,

(21:45):
it's Friday. Chainsaw Friday eight fourfour nine fifty collar eleven black.
I have another question about these conjoinedtwins. Oh boy, this uh Babby
and Brittany hence, So what happenslike when you're mad at your twin?
You know what you just? Whatdo you do? You get in a

(22:08):
screaming match? What can you Youcan't really head but that. I guess
that's the only thing you could doif you head but the twin that's right
on your shoulder, what do youfeel it? Do you feel it or
do they feel it? I wouldassume it's a wee thing. So I
can't smack a bitch up because I'mmad, because I'll feel it too.

(22:32):
Boy, thank god I'm not aconjoined twin. Let's go to Amber from
Elgin. Hi, Amber, Hello, Angie? How are you? I'm
great? Are you a conjoined twin? No? No, that would be
kind of weird, though I knowhow I would deal with that. Yeah,
Like, I feel like I wouldget so mad at my other self

(22:53):
all the time. And how amI supposed to kick their ass? They're
like right there. I don't thinkI don't think I could deal with be
the better can join trend either?I fell for the other one, and
you're the hotter one exactly. Andthen you're like, oh, I got
you over here, like just ruiningmy game, trying to go out here
find a man, and you're allover here like all half ass. Anyway,

(23:15):
at least you have a twenty fourto seven wingman with you. You
know what, Amber, if youhad a twin that you were really mad
at, you could use her newchainsaw cut it off, Camber. I
love you, Amber, I loveit. Amber. You got the chainsaw,

(23:36):
girl. I would gladly be canjoin twin. I would be twins
with you. Would you do thatwith me? I would love that.
You could go around. Maris couldlike come with us. To always invite
Maris. Maris has to come everywherewith us. Oh yeah, Maris goes
everywhere. We got absolutely gotta protectthe twins beautiful. Oh yeah, Mares
carries the chainsaw and then when weneed it, we just you know,
mareks handed over. Marris said he'sgoing to protect the twins like you're our

(23:59):
bra. I love it, Amber, I love you. You have a
great weekend. It's to beautiful youas well. You guys enjoy thank you,
thank you. I love you too. Honey, to hang on the
line. A prison tattoo will getyou all hooked up. So many questions,
you guys, so many questions,Like I feel like I would be

(24:21):
critiquing her makeup. Oh and thenhow do you hell? How do you
do your makeup? You have todo it twice? Oh sounds like a
lot of work. I think.God, we give a way chain sauce.
It's rock ninety five to five.It's Rocky five five. Happy Friday
bitos. How you doing this weekendis going to be gorgeous. If you

(24:45):
don't have plans outside this weekend,you better make some Today sixty cloudy,
maybe a few showers, but thenseventies and sunny all weekend. Yes,
Oh so good. Do you evergo for a walk after a big meal
or do you just stay playing yourvideo games? Pass out? If I'm
out and about, I would liketo go for a walk. Like if

(25:07):
I go out for dinner, yeah, friends or whatnot, we'll go for
a walk afterwards and just kind ofkick it. I love walking after like
dinner, Yeah, you know,but it's been cold so but now Yeah,
there's a sexy new term for thoselaps around the block after dinner.
It's called a fart walk. Fartwalk. Fartwalk is trending after a seventy year
old cookbook author named Marilyn Smith coinedon TikTok. She's a big fan of

(25:33):
high fiber meals and she and herhusband go on regular fartwalks to get things
moving. It helps with bloating.Plus walking is just a great, low
impact way to get some exercise.But a GI doctor weighed in and said,
your fart walks don't need to bethat long. Even five or ten
minutes can be helpful. When you'removing, your GI tract is also moving.

(25:56):
There needs to be motion to helpthe food along through the system,
to get through all the spaghetti junctionthere. Marilyn is not embarrassed to talk
about her fart walks and doesn't thinkthat you should be either. She's very
proud of them. They see Marilynand she looks like the type would be
very proud of her farts, butshe sees the humor and forever being known

(26:18):
as the fartwalk inventor. I don'tknow that that's an invention. Yeah,
she's an invented. I think itjust happens naturally because you're getting exercise after
a big meal, right, andthen like if you're walking side by side
with your friends, then you know, nobody knows. This would not be
me because if I go for awalk with my husband after a big dinner,
I'm not out here like blowing horns, you know, Like I would

(26:42):
be fart holding until I got home, and then I would go to a
different place. I don't. Idon't. I don't even like saying the
word fart. I don't like thatword. Its the whole article about fart
walks, and now we don't like. Well, I was being a journalist
in that moment, journalistic integrity,ladies and gentlemen. But if I'm being
me, I'm telling you, like, I don't faart around anybody ever.

(27:07):
I don't want to do it.As far as you're concerned, it never
happened. So outside you're you're stuckat lollapaloo in a big crowd, and
you need to it's a big crowd. I could just say, oh,
that person smells. I can blameit on somebody else, But if it's
just me and him, it's me. Like the it's blowing past you,
you're walking away from it, evenin space. Sometimes a linger will go

(27:32):
through. They can linger and permeate, you know what I mean. Like,
it's the same reason. Like ifwe go on vacation somewhere, we're
in a hotel room, I don'tgo to the bathroom in there. I
will go down to the gym inthe hotel. Wow, go number two
down there. Man. I willwalk out in the hallway and say,

(27:52):
oh, I think I just heardthe maid, and I will fa art
in the hallway because I don't wantI'm trying to preserve the sex of you
guys. It's a different kind oflove, right. I want to be
placed on a pedestal where I'm notsomeone who does that, even though I
do. I know everybody farts,everybody pooch, but I don't need you
to see it or know about itor hear it because the shower is on.

(28:18):
If I'm going number two, Idon't want you to hear any plot
plot it is yeah, okay,I am sorry, environments, I have
an ego. It's Rock naety fiveto five, Rock ninety five five Friday,
Babe. I hope you're excited forthe weekend. Thank you for being

(28:41):
with us all the time. Weplayed earlier. The Scorpions rock You Like
a Hurricane. Yes, just aminute ago, and I was reading this
thing about the former Scorpions drummer HermanRarebel, who co wrote rock You Like
a Hurricane, and he said thatthey originally the title of that song was

(29:02):
supposed to be fu Like a Hurricane, which is hilarious because when I was
growing up and I would hear thatsong, I'd be like, I feel
like I would say it. Iwould sing it in my head because I
was like ten, and I'm like, oh, I'm such a bad girl,
Leah. And even though I didn'tknow what that meant, no clue,
but it was supposed to be that. There's a little trivia for you
on the Scorpions. This is behindthe music. Speaking of behind the music,

(29:30):
if you want to be in frontof the music, we have tickets.
Oh for Stained Let's do it andBreaking Benjamin. You want to go
see Stained and Breaking Benjamin? Yes, they are going to be at Credit
Union one Apphitheater in September. Callright now to get you some tickets.
Eight four, four, nine,five, ninety five fifty caller eleven you

(29:51):
win Rock ninety five to five.Let's take some calls from the request line.
Didn't even ask for a text thismorning, like a dummy. I
forgot, but we got all thetexts. Here we go. Thank you
for the text Roadies eight four four, ninety five fifty. You can text
us anytime anything whatever you want toask, talk about, comment on.

(30:15):
We read them every day. Let'sgo. Ah. The first one this
morning came from five to two fivetwo Country code, Oh, Maico,
Yes, Mexico from five to twosix one four Angie one. Yes.
It's in the rigae from Mako Funnythat you're playing Firehouse. I saw them

(30:37):
live last Friday. Can you playsome seven dust? Cheers? Love seven
Dust? And this? Okay,so we didn't actually play Firehouse on the
air. Maybe you don't know thisobviously, And the rique is listening on
our iHeartRadio app to the show whenthe iHeartRadio app is playing. The beauty

(30:59):
of the iHeartRadio App is you don'thave to sit through all the commercials right
that we play. So when we'relive in commercials, the app will play
just you know, random rock songsjust to fill that time and then bring
you up to speed when we goback live again. I don't know if
a lot of people know that becausesometimes we'll be like somebody is like,
oh my god, you just playedthe Slayer song. Like we didn't just

(31:22):
play Slayer. Oh they're listening onthe app. It's because we were in
commercials. So that's just a littlesomething. That's the beauty of listening on
the app. No Marshals. MaybeNo Marshals two to four says hey,
Maris, you hear about this.They're making a R rated teenage mutant Ninja
Turtle movie. You better watch out, Angie. Maris might pop a boner
when reading about this. That's fromScott. Oh yeah, I got overwhelmed

(31:47):
yesterday from Roady's family, friends,everybody who knows me sent me that article.
So thank you. Let me tellyou something Scott. After Maris said
good morning to me, the nextthing he said was, oh, do
you know about the like what Igot it? I already had that news.
Let's talk about it in the air. So yes, yes, he

(32:07):
knew about it. Three point twoHello Angie and Maris. In regards to
Otani, Maris keeps saying that Otani'ssuper rich. He will be, but
remember that most of his seven hundredmillion dollar contract is backloaded, so as
of right now, if fourteen millioncomes out of his account, trust,
he knows the people that are signingoff on these transactions would want to know

(32:30):
where the money is going. Thefact that it went to an illegal bookie,
because betting in California is one hundredpercent illegal, does not absolve him
from the crime. The cover upfor Otani is in full effect. He
can't be this stupid. There aresystems in place to make sure that you're
not stupid with that much money.So I agree with you on the contract

(32:53):
as it is backloaded through. He'sgot a Bobby Boonie contract is going to
go forever, is gonna be takencare of. But he also played for
the Angels before this. He alsowas the top Japanese player in Japan,
and he's got endorsements probably internationally.Yeah, but still you can't withdraw he

(33:14):
got money, because we found outthis morning it wasn't just four point five
million, it was over fourteen million. You can't withdraw that kind of money
without eight million people saying you're,oh, no, but he's not at
the peak of his contract, Ridge, but he got money. Oh yeah,
he does, no for sure,for sure, I just think he's

(33:37):
lying six three zero, just wonderinghow much the interpreter is getting paid for
taking the fall, his family's gettingpaid. Oh, allegedly, this is
a huge, huge cover up becausethink about all the money that will be
lost to the MLB, to thenetworks that broadcast MLB. There's so much

(33:58):
money here that they have to keepOtani because the Angels are contenders for World
Series. I mean, there's somuch money wrapped up in that team and
in Otani that of course there's acover up. Joe the head Rody Wrestling
was Minnesota Barb just singing tribe callquest scenario, Yes, she's a gem.
The conjoined twins that just married somedude we were talking about. One

(34:22):
of them wanted to get married,the other one didn't. Seven and eight
said, does that mean the othertwin could get married too? Technically yes,
I mean I have so many questions, and I'm not trying to clown
these twins. I'm not trying tomake fun of them. I just am
so curious. Two on nine ifthe conjoined twins husband is banging one and
then kisses the other's head, isit cheating? Good question? Yes,

(34:46):
that's a great question. Thank youfor all the texts this morning. I
have so many questions. It's gonnabe a lot of questions. You know
what I'm gonna do. I' mighthit a blunt later and google the hell
out of conjoined twins, like nerveendings, like do they both feel it
when they get banged by that one? Husband? Can I punch her in

(35:08):
the head if I'm mad at her? Will she hurt? If? Will
I hurt? Will it hurt meif I punch her in the head?
Because I don't want to hurt myself, But sometimes you get a slap a
bitch, especially if she's right thereon your shoulder, like, get away
from me. I just want tobe in your brain sometimes you know who

(35:30):
you don't? You do not wantto be in here. It's nothing nice
in here in Mars. All right, I'm gonna tell you what's up for
your day next? Queen rock onyour Friday? What's up roads? Yes,
we made it, we made itto Friday. Finally, thank you
for listening. Who wants to play? Don't kill Angie? Aerosmith tickets on

(35:52):
the line today the piece out tour. Yes his voice is better, his
feet are still jacked up, butwhatever, what a legend Aerosmith piece out
with the Black Crows. You wantto play Don't Kill Angie eight four four
nine ninety five fifty Keep me Alive. Don't Kill Angie is to choose your
adventure game to hopefully get Angie safelyto Friday Bigger Bath. But be careful.

(36:15):
One wrong move will kill Angie.Killie, and it's only on rock.
Let me go, Let me gostraight to Sean from Edison Park.
Sean, Hey, good morning AngieMaris. How are you guys? Good
morning Sewan. I need to havea serious talk with you, like I
to eye you ready, Yep,let's do it. You better not kill

(36:38):
me, ma'am. It's gonna beIt's gonna be close to eighty all weekend.
It's gonna beautiful. I'm trying tohave a sexy time with my husband.
You better not better not, Sean. I'll do my best. Thank
you, Thank you, my love. Yes, keep me in life.
Today. I'm gonna send you tosee Aerosmith and the Black Crows and also
qualify you for the incarceration music inTattoo Festival. Okay, sounds great?

(37:04):
Does are you on speakerphone? Whatyou doing? Well? You know what?
I clean my phone at work andthe speakerphone got jammed. If I
hit it, it's gonna hang uptoo much. I didn't need all that.
I didn't need it all. Ididn't need all that, Sean,
all right, yeah, but there'sa whole story. Just take it away
or not. Reader, A sevenyear old in a house shot and welcome.

(37:29):
Don't kill Angie. It's going tobe aby full weekend in Chicago.
Angie and her man are going tothe Expo Art fair at Navy Pier tomorrow.
She doesn't frequent the tourist traps thatis Navy Peer often, but she
wants to do something touristy while she'sthere. Why not, now, Sean,

(37:51):
the question for your you is whattouristy thing should Angie do at Navy
Pierre the sea dogs, speedboat ride, the classy shoreline boat crew. What
do you think, Sean? We'regoing for speed? Are we going for
comfort? What are we doing?I think speed? I know, and
you have little speed. I thinka little boat. Yeah, boating your

(38:22):
motor boating, So bitch, youmule sailor. You picked this this seat
top, yes, he picked thisheat dog with the great tunes of sailing
in the background. Oh, ChristopherCross. Oh, I love y'all.
Rock Let's go. What a wayto kick off the warm weather. You
better turn this up, this ChristopherCross. God, I want to make

(38:47):
love. I don't want to.I don't want to bang, I want
to make love right now. Yes. Angie has had a few to many
Steve wisers at the Art Expo andis stumbling all over her of boarding the
boats, stop judging. The sunis shining, the lake is twinkling,
and the boat takes long. Let'sgown, man, Angie forgot. He

(39:10):
gets seasick and she's also hammered.She leans over a pukin. She falls
off the boat. She starts doggypaddling to get to the shot. Oh
no, what is this? Ohboy? Oh boy? Yeah, she

(39:34):
has fouling into the lake with theevil fresh water shirk. How many times
can you water? Hell? Else? Oh? I'm sorry, shining you
killed Angie? Fresh water? Yeah? Is that? Do I know?
Right? Fresh water shark? Ihate that freshwater shark. And then he's

(39:58):
got that one cousin, the freshwater octopus to kill me once whatever it
was a jelly freshwater jellyfish. Idon't oh the bad thing Sean Ticket fairy
wasn't around, that'd be nice,but get what the what the ticket?
Fairy? You know what is that? I'm not quite sure. One more

(40:21):
time. Oh no, Sean,that was the wrong answer, Sean.
Oh oh no, buddy, damnshark. And then all right, Sean's
on hold and he's still qualified.He's still qualified for the incarceration tattoo in
music festival. Let's go to sorry, Sean. Let's pick this line up
here. Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, who is this? You're

(40:52):
listening on the app? That justoh my god, are your Christina?
Wow? Oh my god? Thatwas amazing. Wow. Maris almost had
a hard attack. A good jobon the dumb button, but shout out
to the iHeart radio app. Youjust heard it. All. Okay,
wow, can we pick up anotherline, Yes, okay, let's pick

(41:14):
up hello, good morning, Hello, good morning. I'm when the ticket?
Get the goat? The what hedidn't get the goat? What's it
called? What is the what isthe full government name the goat? Faery?

(41:36):
Maris, you are a very kindNow it's actually called this screaming goat
ferry. What's your name? Thisis Patty, Hi, Patty? Where
are you from? Patty? I'mfrom Lancy. Oh Patty from Lancing.
No no, no, no,no no no, Patty from Lancy's all

(42:00):
that you text earlier and you said, ooh yummy sexy voice on Maris Maris,
say once you have a little chitchat with Patty. Patty? How
you doing today? Oh Mary?Are you? Your voice is crazy?
Are you? Are you enjoying yourFriday today? Patty? Yes, I
am I Friday. I'm so happyfor you. Patty. Tell Patty what

(42:22):
you want to like? Do itin your super sexy Oh you'll go super
sexy. Hey. As Aerosmith returnsto the United Center for the peace Out
Tour, oh God with the BlackCrows say it. This is the Farewell
tour. Oh the fiftieth anniversary ofAerosmith, all happening on January nineteenth,

(42:42):
twenty twenty five. So, Patty, you're gonna have to wait a little
bit. Oh can you wait?Don't make her way, Patty? Can
you wait for me? Can youwait for to wait? Marriage? All
right? Wait, Patty, mybasement is flooded as well. Right now?
Why are you talking like that whenyou say can you wait a minute?

(43:04):
Can you wait a minute? Oh? Everybody else not named Patty.
Tickets go on sales today. TenI am at ticketmaster dot com. But
Patty, you're taking care of now. Say her name again, Patty.
I'll see it again, Patty.Oh it's Patty from Lansing. Y'all.

(43:29):
Patty, Happy birthday. I loveit, I love it. Patty needs
a quicker picker upper, Patty.Congratulations on the tickets. I love Thank
you so much for listening. Thankyou so much. I love you,
guys, We love you too well, love you too, Patty. Patty,

(43:53):
Patty, you got a boy forend? You got a man?
What you got your husband? Nothing? No going crazy? Oh good,
Maris just flooded. The whole city. The whole city is flooded right now.
There's a Floodwatchago a flood. It'sa warning. Oh it's a flood

(44:15):
warning. Oh my god. Iliterally work with him every day and like
I'm flooded. Okay, Patty hangingthe life alright? Can you give me
a towel? That warm water please, not the cold water? Hanging the

(44:36):
line. It's rock twenty Mary,Damn. The slaughter continues. Sorry,
Angie, they promise to do better. Rock nainety five minutes commercial free rock
going down on a Friday Rock ninetyfive to five. We love you for
listening morodies. Tom Brady is.It's kind of like that one stray cat

(45:00):
that used to come to my doorall the time. You're feeds. I
did feed a strain. Okay,all right, it's a little orange key.
You so cute. But Tom Bradyis the stray cat of the NFL.
At this plane, he was onsome podcast called These Nuts No No,
No No. It was Deep Cuts, Deep Cuts podcast, and was

(45:23):
asked if he would pick up thephone if a starting quarterback went down with
an injury this season. He said, I'm not opposed to it. I'm
open. I don't know if they'regonna let me, but I'll do it.
He wants to come back. Youguys, hey, can you imagine

(45:44):
if Tom Brady was a bear?Oh that's a lot, especially with what
do you mean? I mean,it's either we stopping with your lions,
hate Nass. It would be amazingif Tom Brady was a bear. It's
fine. It's just invest in Calebor figure out. Let these let these

(46:07):
drafts around the corner, Let theyoung guns work their way up. Can
we just have one season with agood quarterback, just one. I just
want what I will say that ifCaleb has an opportunity to learn under Brady,
that's very beneficial. I'm saying lethim, let him sit on the
bench, wait for the bus,and let Tom Brady show him how to

(46:28):
do it. That would be amazing. I still don't take anything would happen
now because it's the whole team's notjust one person. But still it would
be fun to watch. Yes'd begood. Tom Brady, we're sick of
you, but you can come tothe Bears. We'll take you. Thank
you for listening. All right.Request Wars is up next. I love

(46:51):
today's Request Wars theme. By theway, it came from six to three.
Oh, they texted it in.They said, Hey, do an
old metal battle. Let's call itthe boomer back. Oh, let's go.
Battle of Old Metal Bands is nextRock ninety five to five. It's
now time for Request Wars. Armyour torpedoes? Are you sure we should

(47:14):
do that? Yes, we're surewe should do that. Repair your best
smacked off because this is gonna getreal in about a second. On the
Angie Taylor Show, Request War.Does anybody work at medieval times? Are
there any knights or queens of theround table listening. I'm trying to I
want us to do a little likeshow trip one day to medieval times and

(47:37):
get high on trimps. Just wondering, Wow, how to slide past the
liners, slide past the line,whatever it is. I sound like you
want to actually be riding the horsesthey're fighting. I do. Okay,
fool cable guys. Who's that onenight on Game of Thrones that was banging
his sister, the super hot one, Jmie Lanister. I will sit on

(48:00):
that prosthetic hand all day, orthat metal hand whatever it is? Gold,
gold, yeah, even better.There should be gold in myas.
Okay, there is gold in there. Oh alright, it's request worse time,

(48:21):
isn't it? Isn't it? Allright? This is where we battle
out a song based on a themethat you pick for us today. The
text in theme was do an oldmetal battle called the old metal boomer Battle.
Let's do it old metal all right. I am the four time champion.
Look at me, gold Vagina anda four time champion. Wow,

(48:44):
nobody likes Oh my god, Maris, nobody likes me. I knew it,
Maris. What's your song? Yeah? I'm breaking the streak today with
Motorhead Ace of Spades. Leaning.See this is the equivalent of you were

(49:08):
pulling out the Metallica card, youpull out the Aso Spades. I see
what you did there, all right? If you want Motorhead Ace of Space,
whoa yeah, slapping them down there. There was no premeditated anything.
I abided by the theme you didpick this, like the song the song

(49:30):
I'm ready. If you want Motorheadfrom Mars all the Ms, text letter
M to eight four four ninety fivefifty, or you go with my boomer
metal song today it is de ORainbow in the Dark. Yeah, the

(49:57):
light down. That's the video time. This song should play at medieval times
when they're about to joust. Sothat would be kick cass. That wouldn't
be very medieval times did not exist. When Jamie Lanister is out there,
Oh my god, call me Circe, let me bang my brother. If

(50:20):
you want Rainbow in the Dark fromDeal, Yes, text letter A to
eight four four fifty, get yourtext in. I'm not mad, Well
you're mad. I don't like Idon't like the incest between Circe and Jamie.

(50:42):
But they were so hot and solike you know they didn't look like
that in the book, right Ididn't first of all, book whatever?
Sorry, sorry I And then that'sstupid ass rand too far friend hits.
That's what brand gets. Spying.You're going on nerd right now, that's

(51:05):
what that skateboard brand. I'm somad about it. Anyway, It's rock
ninety five to five, Good morning. How are you? Auntie Taylor Show
ninety five minutes commercial free rock goingon right now, Friday, Friday.

(51:28):
All right, we are in requestworse right now. Today's theme old metal,
old Metal battle, the boomer Battle. We're doing it right now.
Thank you to six y three tozero for texting that in today. I
am the four time champion. Marishis song pick motor Head as a Spade
the only Guy Space. If that'syour pap, text the letter M to

(51:55):
eight four four fifty, or yougo with my song to day. I
picked do O Rainbow in the Dark. Yeah you like that one. Text
the letter A to eight four fourninety five fifty. Get your texting fingers

(52:19):
going, Oh, get your dialingfingers going as well, because it's chased
offay what a chain saw set timeeighty four four nine five ninety five to
fifty callar eleven. I'm giving youa chainsaw Malacre rocking your five day.

(52:42):
Yeah, buddy, shout out toArianna from Lansing. She got the second
chainsaw of the day. And yesit's free chainsaw Friday, chainsaws all day
today. Don't go anywhere, Okay, it is time to find out who
won? Request was today? Itwas the Boomer Battle, as it was
both so eloquently, the battle ofold metal bands songs. I had do

(53:07):
O Rainbow and the Dark Maris youhad Motorhead, Ace of Spades. Who
is the winner? Traumatic pause?Who it is? All one? I
can tell from your energy who thewinner is? Every day, Ugomera,

(53:29):
thanks for all the tags roadies heard. Yeah it's rock ninety five to five
pod ninety five minutes commercial free.Let's go to real quick, to the
head of all the Roadies, theQueen of the Roadies, the secretary of
the show. He keeps all thenotes, he knows where the bodies are
buried, all the bones. Jaythe Gay, Good morning to you,

(53:52):
my darling thing that happy change offFriday. Good morning, bone collector.
What do you have today? Yeah, listen, there are some days right
at the ponder just what the hellis happening? And today was Shirley one
of them. Yeah. Now,perhaps the eclipse s fried our brains,
or maybe there's a full moon sightbecause this morning we attended to decipher what

(54:13):
medium complexion looks like using toast whenJay clears, I know we're in for
it God, because they said thatthat Robert was medium complexioned what Angie's ability
to switch between journalists and dainty girlwhile discussing parting. Yeah, and then

(54:37):
there was that whole segment where wetalked about the last Ronan movie and you
can hear the wind whistling through Angie'sdry valley the whole time. Oh my
god, why are you gotta talkabout my valley? Well, I mean
you coming down Western you can hearthe wind whistling. Yeah, meanwhile dry
Meanwhile, I'm over here excited tohell. But you know, well,

(54:58):
marriage flooded in basement as wild Mars, maras Mars, give me a big
o a feeling. What did Ido? Oh? Mom? And you're
gonna be okay? Oh god,she's still going. I'm sorry, Jay,

(55:21):
go ahead. Yes, Also,you could tell today with a Friday
show because Angie spent most of itpondering can joined twins. Hearing that the
most famous can joined twins got marriedand then proceeding to insult the husband's villy
in bed, Angie wondered what thesecond mouth does when the first is getting
stopped this I just smoked six weeksold gas station sushi and have question session.

(55:45):
Also married at other gem sacks,Angie wondered what it was like to
put makeup on two heads with onebody. If she were to get mad
at her twin and decided to smacka bitch up, what would she feel
like? Yeah, what it mustbe like to have two personalities not eighteen
like Antie currently does. And ofcourse if you got some med at your

(56:06):
other head, couldn't you just chainsawit off? Right? Also? Oh,
what is what if it wasn't likepeaky blinders? Yeah? And I
know that are like rowe out Likewhose hand does it? Well? If
you control your left hand? Uhhuh? I don't use my left hand,

(56:29):
Amarrius, I am alrighty, Wellif you're the left Wait, couldn't
the left hand like stop the righthand? Though? Like that's what I'm
saying. There's another fight? Howdo I smack your she's gonna be doing
this all weekend. That's what she'sgonna come here. I'm legit like I'm
gonna be googling all day, likeI want to know. My biggest worry

(56:51):
with these twins is you're part.My biggest worry is that you're not able
to punch a bitch and not feelit. That's my feeling. If I
had another one of me on myshoulder, I would definitely want to punch
a bit. Oh is it whatI mean? If you get mad at
yourself, I'm sorry, say somethingsexy, maras so I can forgive you.

(57:16):
Look at you over there. Okay, okay, so good, that
was easy, Jake. Keep thatin my back pocket, exactly, keep
in your front pocket. Where canwe find your notes every day? You
can find my notes on rock ninetyfive five chi dot com and click on

(57:36):
the Angie Taylor tag. Thank you, Sarah. You are my conjoined twin.
You know that, right? That'sa fight now, it's not really.
It's the fight is like, whowhy'd you drink all that? Why
didn't I get any reminder? Twoheads, one liver, two kidneys,
we're dead. We would have dieda bit. We would have died at

(57:59):
twelve years old. Let's be honest. Oh my god, liver would never
deliver, would never he would neversurvive. If you miss anything on the
show, please check out the podcast, The Antie Taylor Show on the Free
iHeartRadio app's Rock Mattie five five.It's time for the ten o'clock toast on

(58:22):
the Anngie Taylor Show. Yeah,Auntie's drinking at ten am. Joiner in
a toast, a fellowship target.Oh, it's Friday, It's gonna be
beautiful. It's already beautiful, okay, but this weekend gorgeous. Today's ten
o'clock toast. I'm telling you it'sgonna be gorgeous because it's like drink weather
outside patio garage. Whatever. Thisgoes out to this fifty six year old

(58:45):
man on Long Island, New York. Five bucks says. Somebody in this
guy's life says, you can't doanything right. This guy's name is Roger
Well. He lives now in theVillages in Florida. So that's a good
way to start at right m hwhen he's not driving around looking for three
sums. But he was in LongIsland on Monday when he got into a

(59:07):
high speed chase with cops. Theyresponded to a domestic incident after he allegedly
went to his ex wife's work andslashed her tires. He took off in
his Chevy Malibu rental car. Ohnot the Malibu put the pedal to the
metal. Cops eventually caught up withthem. A helicopter also joined in that

(59:30):
pursuit. Then he drove back andforth on this highway for about forty minutes,
hit speeds of over one hundred milesan hour in a Malibu. How
okay, But there was nowhere togo. What does he do? He
apparently decided to just Thelma and Louiseit and drove off to fifty foot cliff

(59:51):
what He never hit the brakes,he didn't slow down, so he thought
he would like jump a cliff andlike Thelma and Louise, or just go
out and flame right. He blewthrough a wood guard rail, ramped off
a bluff, went airborne and landedin the Long Island Sound at about four
feet of water and swim out.Very badass, very lucky Bow and Luke

(01:00:15):
Duke have nothing on this Roger fromthe villages in Florida. I mean officers
did like go into the water andpull the mount though said he was sore,
but no injuries. That's good.It's good to know that when the
po po is on my back,when I see the one time and the
lights are flashing, that if Itry to jump a cliff, I can

(01:00:37):
make it. Come at me,bro, come at me with my Chevy
Malibu. No, no, no, not you with your luck. But
no, what do you mean I'mgoing up in flames? Something weird would
happen when you try to do that, Maris. I don't think so,
because here's what's up. I'll tellyou why, Oh, tell me about

(01:01:01):
it. I am fifty years old. How old are you? Fifty?
You look about twenty five right now? Exactly. I've somehow managed to defy
the laws of physics with my liverbeing intact. The space doesn't have a
wrinkle on it. One. Ohmy god, I would make it just

(01:01:23):
because like I feel like I keepdefying the odds. Do you know how
I cheat death every day? Howdo you listen to this show? You
know? Me? I gotta screwhanging out of my foot. I got
a gimp arm. You know,I got lump neck disease. I have
so many things. Yes, Ihate you. I hate you so much.

(01:01:46):
I'm just saying no, I havedefy the odds somehow I have persevered.
So like you know, if Itry to thumb on Luisa, chances
are I'm probably gonna make it.And I couldn't kill myself if I tried.
I couldn't. I couldn't. No, all right, I hope you

(01:02:12):
guys have an turn Damn Sarah McLaughlanoff. And that one dog with the
leg, the blind dog. Yeah, but the one eyeball hanging out all
right, poor Donie. Oh,I want to go get him. Okay,
So have a great weekend. It'sgonna be a gorgeous I hope I
see you. Yes, I hopeI see you out on these streets.
If I do, you better buyme a drink. Okay, have a

(01:02:35):
great WEEKND. Walt is up next. Walt was listening to the show today,
really enjoyed, Uh don't kill Angiethis morning. And the lady that
swore at me in my face andsaid, who the f are you?
Why does she call I? Sowish I could have gone off on her
and we like you? No,she said who are you? Yeah?
And I would have said well,who the f are you catch me outside?

(01:02:58):
But I didn't get that opportunity becausethere's the FCC. Have a great
weekend. We love you, can'twait to see you on Monday, Rock
ninety five to five