Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Uh so, I don't know sky if after twenty five
years of marriage, if your patience is finally wearing thin.
But it seems like you're getting a little bit more
annoyed at your husband the booth these days.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Finally, Okay, I'm a boards guy. Yeah, I've always had enough.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
I've had enough first started the show. Yeah, so twenty
five years may may have something to do with it.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
You're just like now addressing it because I think maybe
you were annoyed before, but now you're actually saying something.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Yeah, well, when something when things build for years, decades, yeah,
eventually you finally kind of say a thing or two.
My my hormones may have something to do with it.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
Appears securely takes so much right, Like I just it's
it's like mind boggling.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
But he's never said it either. Okay, Okay, you really are.
And here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Most things in our relationship, You're right, I don't speak
of them.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I don't bring them up. We just go about our
merry way.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
You bury the feelings deep down and then who knows,
maybe fifty years in you'll finally address them. But in
what we're about to talk about, this is something I've
actually addressed multiple times, which is super rare for us.
So that's why I'm like kinda at my.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Breaking point with it.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
So if you're not aware, my family does not have
the traditional setup that you know most American families have.
We decided, probably about five years before having children, that
my husband would be a stay at home father.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
But there was no kid to stay at home for
like five years. Yeah, can you be a stay at
home father with no kid?
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Yeah, that's kind of weird because we had just moved
here so for my job. He had left his job,
and we decided, oh, we're going to start a family soon.
This is how we're going to do it. Turns out
a little longer to start that family than expected. But
my husband has been a stay at home father for
my daughter's entire life. And you may be thinking, but sky,
(02:09):
isn't your daughter turning sixteen next week? Yes she is,
and yes he still is a stay at home father.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
She's turning sixteen, like next is it next week?
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Next?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Next week?
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Oh so yeah, but stay at home dad, you never
know when she's gonna need something. You know, you pick
her up from school sometimes, don't you. You know, we're
not gonna analyze that. So anyway, not the traditional setup
that most.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Families have got it.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
But what most families probably will relate to is whatever
parent is, they're the most like physically, they're the most
with the kids. Normally, their uh voice doesn't carry as
much authority as the other parent, you know what I mean.
So if mom's always home, mom can tell the kids
(02:51):
something and the kids are like, sure, whatever, Mom, But
the dad comes home and tells them and they're like,
oh crap, I gotta do that, right.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
So our family is that reversed.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
So when my husband says something, my daughter kind of
like laughs at him and rolls his eyes.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
It doesn't come across as serious. You know. That's just
the dynamic we have. Okay, So I don't know.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Probably like two years ago I said to my husband,
I said, Okay, when me and our daughter are having
a conversation just the two of us, it's probably not
in your best interest to get involved, because she, you know, unfortunately,
doesn't respect you the same way she respects me, because
(03:35):
you're always there for her, you give her everything she needs,
and I'm the one that's not as present, So.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
It's probably not gonna go so well for you.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
If you try and get involved, especially if I'm already
on it, you know what I mean, Like, if I'm
already giving CPR to a patient, somebody else coming in
and trying to jam their hands on the chest, it's
probably not helpful.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
What a wild analogy. I I don't agree with that.
I think that you know, when you're a set of
parents and you show a united front on something, then
it shows the kid, Oh this is like this is
both mom and dad are like on the same page
of this, to the effect of if you're performing CPR
(04:20):
and the other person comes over and does mouth to mouth,
You're you're saving the person.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Okay, and and you are.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
I totally agree with that for like big serious issues.
But if we're in a discussion because she's upset about
her outfit and and she's like.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Maybe no, I'm avoiding that like the play totally.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
But he will come and yeah no, and then and
now what and now she's like, give me an example.
I don't know, like before like this is when I
first had the conversation with him, he would come and
be like, oh, yeah, what's what's going on?
Speaker 2 (04:54):
What?
Speaker 3 (04:55):
And it's like, dude, We're like, we're in it. We're
and lots of times it's girl talks. A lot of
interject but why would you want to?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Yeah, if if my daughter and my wife are having
a thing and it's about outfits or what girls stuff,
I am going to run in the opposite direction. I
don't want anything to do with that. I'm not going
to interject and be like, oh, no, you're you know
if it does make you look spectacular or some crazy
thing like that, yeah, no, ways.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Prot and my man Robert, my son, you're talking about
like dirt bikes or something, then I'm not going to
do it.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
It's a very different dynamic again with you two as well.
You're heavily involved in your son's life and aspects of that,
and it's different for boys than it is girls. Girls.
It's like there's a there's so much drama, there's so
much emotion, there's so much like no, thank you as
the dad, I don't want anything to do with that.
(05:52):
H So that's crazy. It's like literally going, you know what,
I see there's hot love over there. I'm gonna just
at least dip my foot in this. Hey, what's going
on over here?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Whoa great and out?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
That's crazy. That's why.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
I said to him, like, it's not necessary. If it's
a serious issue, clearly i'll tag you in, But like
why throwing yourself in the law, Just like why are
you doing that? And so he kind of listened for
a while and then, you know, so he'd see me
and her having a conversation and he would just you know,
walk on by, walk walk on by.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Okay, great, this is good.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
But then about six months ago, don't know why, it
changed again, and now he'll see us having a serious
conversation and he will sniper comment. But here's the problem
with mister sniper comment as he's walking through is he
heard the discussion fifteen minutes ago of whatever's going on
(06:51):
with my daughter, and then by the time he walks
by fifteen minutes later, we've probably already moved through like
three different top onto something else.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
So say it starts with her not.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Feeling well, but by the time he walks through the room,
we're now talking about boys.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
He'll walk through the room.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
And see that there's like an intense topic going on
and he'll be like, ah, you'll just take some tile
and all with dinner, and then keeps walking.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
And we both look at him like psycho. We're not
even talking about.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
That, and why are you making that comment? You don't
know what we're talking about. And he's trying to like
be encouraging. So say we're having a conversation that she's
stressing out about a test. Yeah, fifteen minutes later he
walks by and we're now talking about training the dogs.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
He'll be like, you got this, You're gonna kill this tomorrow?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
What? Oh like a motivational speaker.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Right, Again, keep in mind the dynamic of like he's
nails on a chalkboard to my daughter.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Because he's the you know, primary one that's there, I.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Can see why.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Oh yeah, I don't think that's.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
What it is there.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
So like, maybe she's having problems with an outfit that
she can't put together. And then fifteen minutes later, we're
talking about her best friend. He'll walk through the room
and be like, you have so many clothes? What are
you even worried about?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
What?
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Like, dude, we're not talking about that, And again, have
you forgot the hot lava?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Like?
Speaker 3 (08:17):
But then he just keeps walking and I don't know
why he's doing this.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
He's never on topic. It's never the right thing.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
And again I've told him, if I'm on it, if
I'm in it, why are you doing this to yourself?
Speaker 1 (08:31):
So what's the biggest issue is that the'se off topic
or that he's making the comment at all?
Speaker 3 (08:38):
I mean, I think both, But I think what makes
it super bad is the fact that he's not even
on topic at all, and like the fact that I've
kind of already soothed that topic and made that topic
go away, and then he just runs right through, shouts
something out and then keeps going.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Yeah, why is it he stopping? Like that's what's really
also thrown around. I think he's talking bring the comming up.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Then maybe you guys can have a discussion about well,
I think he's not stopping because he believes he's listening
to me of not getting involved.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Oh okay, but but he's getting involved, absolutely getting.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
In, Like you know, she'll be talking about like, oh,
you know, oh I think I look ugly or whatever
you know kids are saying. And then again we're onto
a totally different topic of homework, and he'll come walking through.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
He'll be like, you just be you, You're you're beautiful.
What we're talking about homework?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
R fortune, I don't understand what these little comments are
so weird.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
So I know hes trying and thinking he's doing something good,
but like it's got to stop. And and I feel
bad because I don't want to tell any parent to
like butt out that it's life, but this is weird.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
It's it's not butting out is just like unnecessary. Yeah,
And so you know, if if Deborah told me like why,
she could ask like, why are you doing that? And
if I say, oh, I'm just you know, I'm trying
to throw encouraging words out, and if she told me, well,
it's actually not helping, it's kind of doing the opposite,
(10:09):
I was like, oh, okay, well then I'm gonna stop
doing that. Yeah, but you have to let him know
because well I don't know why he's deciding to do this,
but it seems crazy.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Yeah, it's it's wild, like you can stay on topic.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
Yeah, it's just simply you guys are having your time together,
mother daughter time.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, that's all that it is.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
He doesn't need to feel sad about it or feel
like he's being left out.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Yeah, then an on topic thing, who cares.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
It's just it's just even more annoying because.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Yeah, I get that, it's just unnecessary.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
We don't you don't even know what we're talking about,
and you're going to walk by and interject something, and
especially all of it. That's when it's like advice or
something like that, Like.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
No, it's all weird. Yeah, I don't understand why this started.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Did you say anything about it?
Speaker 4 (10:49):
Most recently, Well, I've kind of been on the fence
about it because I'm like, again, I don't want to
tell a parent to like not talk to their kids
or the.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Half out pere story talk that Bob. Maybe raise your
voice a little bit.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Start dragging dragging them. She has no problems telling you,
none of them to mind your business, mind your business. Wow,
that is wild, all right,