Porch pirates and pets

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
So we had a bit of a it was a
bit of a an emergency, not really an emergency, but
we were flustered, I should say earlier. And it just
made me think of it because I was showing you
that picture of esther the Jack Russell and so, and
I'm sure you've dealt with this with her name escapes me.

(00:22):
I apologize, Loopa. I wanted to call her Luna, but Loopa,
you're Chihuahua, and I'm sure you've had this happen where
if you're near them, you hear like NEI their belly
and you're like.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
Oh no, no, no.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
No, I mean it's that sound that when yours does it?
You go, okay, up on the horizon. Yeah, I gotta
I gotta stay. I gotta stay near a bathroom. Well,
she comes, she jumps up on the bed, and you know,
I'm half out of it. Jenny's already gone for work
this morning, and she comes over and literally she plops

(01:07):
like part away on my head, the side of my
head and part the way on the bed and it's
just like leaning against my head and I'm here and
I'm like, oh no, I'm familiar with this, and so
I start getting up she jumps down on the floor
and she's like, you know kind of you know, kind

(01:29):
of like prance and dance a little bit. I'm like,
so I'm like trying to speed up, like man, I
got to hurry up. Like, so I get her outside,
and you know how it was this morning. I'm sure
Loupa's probably like you open the door, and she looks
at you like, ha, I'm fat chance, I am not
going out there. Well, I open the door. She runs

(01:49):
out in the like full speed out into the yard,
does a U turn in the yard and comes right
back in the house. And I was like, you get
back outside right now. I heard your I know something's
going on. And she's just staring at me and I'm
like trying to So I like pick her up and
walk out there and put her down in the yard
and I start walking back. She runs past me to

(02:10):
get back and you know, right by the door.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
Well the dog's not stupid, that's good.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
So I was just like, so open the door and
let her back in. So then she's in, and dude,
she is. Typically she's crazy, she's running around, she's doing
all kinds of stuff anything but just relaxing, you know,
because she's a jack Russell. She's nuts, she is crazy,
and she comes over. She never just comes over and
snuggles up with me, And she's just sitting there staring

(02:36):
at me, staring a hole through me. I'm trying to
do I'm trying to pay bills and stuff. I'm online
doing all kinds of stuff, and every time I look over,
she's just staring at me. I'm like, what is wrong
with you? And I mute the TV and I'm here
you can hear that, and I'm just like, something bad
is happening. I don't understand. Josie gets up it goes

(02:58):
to work and then she and I said, Esther's not
feeling something's wrong. She doesn't feel I don't think she
feels good. Something weird's happening. And Josie then was just like, okay. Well,
then I see Josie calling me. Now she's at work.
She never calls me. My daughter never calls me unless
she needs money or there's a flat tire or something.

(03:20):
Bit and I go, God, here we go. I was
like hi, and she goes. I just thought of what
you said about Esther and I got to tell you,
and I was like, here we go again nights, like,
here we go again. She goes, I can't find my
earbuds and I was just like, are you insinuating that

(03:45):
esther ate your earbuds? Is that what you're telling me?
And she's like, I don't know, but I'm just she
can't swallow those, right, And I go, I don't know.
She can chew them into smaller bits. And I go,
do you have you know you have an iPhone?

Speaker 2 (04:01):
Right?

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Yeah, so to find my iPhone, you can locate your
other devices. And I said, where does it say your head?
Your earbuds are.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
The lower intestine.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
That find my iPhone's pretty good, but not that good.
He can't get that direct. It's like check your dog's lowering.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
To oh no.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
And she said it says they're at home, and I go,
it would not be sending us that signal or that
message if they were in her belly. I don't think
I would think there's acid and that would just shut
those down, right if she yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
You would figure if she chewed them up, they shouldn't work.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Well, I said, where could they be? I don't know,
but the little holder with the little flip up, She's like,
I have that. I just don't know where they are?
I swear I put them up. I don't know. I don't.
So She's all freaking out, starts crying, and I'm like, listen,
I just all I And all I can see is
I'm headed for another six thousand dollars operation because he's
already had one of those, because she ate something before

(05:03):
that damn near killed her. And it was like a hole.
I won't go into it now. But I was just like,
oh my, we go again, you know. I was like,
what is wrong with you kids? Why can't you keep
your stuff picked up? She won't eat anything that doesn't
run away. That's just what dogs do. Well, my dog,
I don't know. And she sends me a text a
minute ago and goes, she just got home from work,

(05:23):
and she's like, I found my EarPods or earbuds. They
were in her drawer and she said, I must have
worn them up there half asleep and didn't put them
back in the holder or the little case or whatever.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
If the price tag contains three digits or more, always
put them back in the holder.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
Oh man, But I am a sigh of relief. I
just said, oh, thank you.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
Did she check on the dog?

Speaker 1 (05:44):
Oh yeah, Esther's fine. That picture that I just showed
you is from just I don't know, ten minutes ago.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
I'm impressed. She's got that Jack Russell energy and can
jump up on your bid because a little bit didn't
have that.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
Well she we have. We have the doggie steps leading
up the bed sits pretty high. We do have those,
but she she could probably jump. She's started using those
from day one, so she's not going to exert the
effort to leap up onto the bed, but she could,
I really feel. But we got those at the end
of Jasmine's life because Jasmine are toy rat who she

(06:17):
at the end she used to just effortlessly do we
you know, jump up there. But towards the end she
needed help, so we got her the We got her
the adult dog stairs to help her up with loop.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
It just kind of saunters in, which means put me
up there, So I'll put her up there. She sleep
with the guy, No, she sleeps with me. Okay, the
queen will have no such thing happening. Although, although the
cat can lick my bald head in the middle of
the night and that's cool, but don't let my dog
get near the bed.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
Dude, I don't know how you deal with that.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
I know, I'm I'm thinking about making this a contractual item.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
You're gonna need to sign off.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
We're gonna need to negotiate terms here, because yeah, Loopa
is uh, she's like a second pillow.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
Dogs are better than humans, man, I maintain. I'm just saying,
I love I love she gets under my skin. But
at the same time, it's just like I can't imagine
life without him either.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
You know, Yeah, I love them.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
I love them. They're so quirky, they make you laugh.
They do just what you're having a terrible day, and
they do something that you just can't you have to
bust out, you can't help it.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
I'm mused with myself and how much emotion I see
in her face when the face really does not change.
But it's like a psychic connection. A dog looks at
you and you know what they're saying. I don't. That's
a connection. That's that's a pretty cool thing to have with.
You know, some creature that cannot talk, and they really
they can't smile, they can't frown. They but you look

(07:43):
at them and it's like, Okay, I know what you're
telling me. That is a very very cool thing.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
It is very special. The bond that happens if you
tune them in, it's very special. There's no question you
ever been the victim of a porch pirate.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
Yes you have.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
Oh yes, there is the Worst US Cities for porch
Pirates list.

Speaker 2 (08:05):
Are we on it?

Speaker 1 (08:07):
The state of Ohio is on it? Via not this
city though top ten made the top ten. Cleveland made
the top ten. Yeah, I can see that Cleveland as
a matter of fact. And I'm not going to bore
you with the rest of the cities because they're all
other usual suspects that you go. Yep, you know Boston's
on there, and you know all the big city Chicago,

(08:28):
so on. The thing I felt like was staggering is,
you know, New York City is number one, which you
would imagine, but the stat is what really kind of
blows me away that there are nearly six and ten
homes get hit in New York City, almost sixty percent
of people having something delivered. I thought it was great.
I saw something on Facebook that these people got a

(08:51):
new TV and new one of the big huge TVs
you put on the wall, and they took their old
TV and put it in the box where the new
one came in and seal it back up and put
it on their front porch, and it got stolen. Of
course they were like, thank you for taking our trash out. Yes,
they see the TV you can get away with.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
But some people say, oh yeah, put a box out
there with dog poop in it, or put it. The
trouble is, you know some of these psychos. Man, you
do something like that, then they come back to your
house and bust out all the windows or bust out
your car window or something.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
Smear the dog poop all over your front door.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
So you know you can't even do that, and they
know there's no legal repercussions because nobody's going to do
anything about it.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
Even if even if you had video from ring your
ring camera or what have you. You when I said,
have you been the victim of a porch pirate? You
went yes, yes multiple times?

Speaker 2 (09:44):
Uh no, just once?

Speaker 1 (09:45):
Oh do tell? Can you can you tell?

Speaker 2 (09:48):
What I mean? It wasn't even anything particularly interesting. It
was a coffee pot, but I you know.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
Like a caraff like you were replacing it in a car.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
I bought a new coffee pot. I just wanted something new,
and I don't know, maybe fifteen minutes after I got
the little notification your package has been delivered, it was gone.

Speaker 1 (10:07):
This was recent.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
Uh no, it was two years ago. Okay, but then
you know, I know it was there. They took a
picture of it at the front of the house and everything,
so I know they delivered it. But yeah, it wasn't
fifteen minutes between the time I got the notice and
got to the house to get it that it was gone.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
I have been. You get a lot of You get
a lot of stuff delivered like that, not just necessarily
from Amazon, but any of the other day.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Yeah, I mean apps. Yeah, we do a fair amount
of delivery stuff.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Yeah, so do we. I mean we you know, Esther's
dog treats to well, you know what.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
I used to use the chewy stuff, you know, get
the pet foods delivered so I didn't have to carry
the forty pound bag or the fifty pound bag all
the time. And you know, I've got one of the
grocery things for the delivery of the groceries, so that
when it comes to some you know, bottled water and
all that heavy crap, I don't especially if the weather's bad,
I don't necessarily want to have to carry it in.
So it's great to have it delivered to the porch.

(10:58):
You paid forty fifty bucks a year and don't have
to deal with that. I'm good with that.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
And so as a result this thing being stolen, what
what happened?

Speaker 2 (11:08):
Then?

Speaker 1 (11:08):
So you said to them, hey, it was stolen? Are
they like, well, oh, you're out of luck. Yeah, I've
never been through it.

Speaker 2 (11:13):
No. I called Amazon Tote it was stolen. I had to,
you know, send them a copy of the report that
I filed that it was stolen, and they gave me
another one.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
Oh that that easy.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeah, okay, they're used to it. It's a say, can
you imagine what stuff would cost if they weren't replacing
stuff like that all the time?

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah? About half? Yeah, probably. That's a great point, man.

Speaker 2 (11:32):
It's you know, especially on my beloved West side. How
many things have I lost? You know, I didn't go
to Meyer for the longest time because Meyer left Georgeesville
Road because they just couldn't handle getting robbed all the time,
getting people staling stuff all the time. So they shut down.
And I'm like, well, if you're not going to stay
on the side of town, I'm not going to do business.
With you. But after a few years of being upset,

(11:53):
I started going to the one on Hilliard Rome Road.
The Queen did some Christmas shopping yesterday, stopped at a
place on hill Room and upon leaving she hit her
her big smile on her holiday hat on. And our
daughter was with her, and they made her show a
receipt on hilliard Rome Road, not not on the hilltop,

(12:13):
not on Hilliard Rome Road. Like, wow, this virus is
spreading now, you got to show a receipt, got to
prove you're not a thief to do your Christmas shopping
all because people think they deserve your crap more than
you do. It's really getting pretty sickening.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
Yeah. So on a more friendly, positive, hopefully tasty note,
uh huh morning, a police apartment in California is taking
an unusual approach to catch porn pirates, red handed porch pirates.
Ye oh, that's porch pirates, not porn pirates.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
The porch porn is also bad. On the West side.
We get a lot of that couple of beers. People
get amorous. You never know when they're gonna stop. You
got any footage of that I could sell you?

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Oh? Look at you always trying to make money.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
Entrepreneurship is American.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
You want to try this pie? Yeah, this chocolate pie
from the pie shell and New Breamen been waiting for
you to say that. Sorry, it's been sitting here already
on the fork. Sorry, here we go. Oh boy, Oh
you know what I'll say about this is chocolate pie.
It's got that the cream layer on the top, and

(13:25):
then the chocolate doesn't look like as rich as it tasts.
It's really like light in color.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
You look at it and it's light, but this tastes
like a like a dark chocolate candy bar.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
Oh man, that's an outstanding.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
Holy cow, couldn't it give me a bigger piece in this?

Speaker 1 (13:42):
Yeah, the whole thing is sitting over here. How about it?
Thank you Railroad, Jason appreciate it.