May 27, 2023 • 31 mins
OUTWEIGH: I’ve been on diets and weight loss programs since the age of 7.
I got really good at outsmarting whatever plan or program I was on.
I got really good at “fake it till you make it” and motivational pump-me-ups.
I got really good at tricking the scale, tricking my stomach, and tricking my mind.
I got really good at living my life hungry, tired, miserable and restricted.
Yup I mastered them alright, but there was a major cost.
Food was the boss of me.
And...
I was a slave to my brutal workout routine to ensure that I didn’t gain anything back.
Because no matter how motivated or disciplined I got myself to be on a day to day basis, food and exercise still ruled my every move.
So how can YOU tell if you’re using food and exercise as a tool to get yourself healthy? Or...
...if you’re using it as a weapon: a weapon of punishment, control, restriction, or shame.
In this episode of Outweigh we talk about four tell-tale signs to help you discover if you too are using food & exercise as a weapon AND if so, how you can change that!
Link Mentioned:
Watch the Stressless Eating Webinar where Leanne walks you through her exact 5 Step Game Plan her clients use to heal themselves from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting themselves, punishing their bodies, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) 😉
HOST: www.StresslessEating.com // @LeanneEllington
To contact Amy about Outweigh: hello@outweighpodcast.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know every part of me. It's
beautiful and then will always out Way if you feel
(00:24):
it with your hands and be here, She'll some love
to the food I get there. Take you one day, Anita,
did you and die? Out Way? Happy Saturday, Outweigh. I'm
Leanne Ellington and I'm a friend of Amy's and the
author and creator of Stressless Eating, and I am back
again as the resident guest host for a few episodes
(00:46):
of Outway, which we started doing a few weeks ago.
It's been super fun, so if you miss those, definitely
go back and check those out. And we are going
to just keep on trucking along with this week's episode
of Outweigh, which is all about this idea of are
you using food and exercise as a weapon. So just
for some context, I've been on diets and weight loss
(01:08):
program since I was in third grade, so you know,
if losing weight were an Olympic sport, I would have
taken home the gold medal by the time I was ten.
But in reality, all that happened to me was I
simply got really good at out smarting whatever plan or
program I was on. And I got really good at
fake it till you make it and motivational pump me ups.
(01:32):
And I got really good at tricking the scale and
tricking my stomach and tricking my mind. And I got
really good at living life hungry, you know, hungry and
tired and miserable and restricted. And so yeah, I mastered
those things, or at least I thought I did, but
there was a major cost. Essentially, I got really good
(01:52):
at out smarting and deceiving myself. But it didn't just
stop there. There was another really big fact that came
about as a result, because in order to maintain my
results or feel can I put this in air quotes,
you know, feel in control of my body. But obviously
I wasn't in control. I had to continue to outsmart
(02:13):
myself every single day in order to feel like I
was in control. And that well, that just flat out
exhausted me, to be honest, not to mention, it consumed
my life, and it consumed all of my inner thoughts.
And you know, if a friend called me to have dinner,
my first thoughts would be something like, ah, are they
going to have a salad there that would fill me up?
(02:35):
Or just freaking out thinking what am I going to eat?
And then another one of my inner voices would chime
in and say, well, if I'm really you know, air
quotes good all week and do extra cardio sessions at
the gym, then I can quote unquote earn my cheat
meal and feel really good about it. And so, looking
back at the unten times that this happened, or the
(02:56):
bazillion different types of situations like this that occurred in
my life on a daily basis, now I can see
clear as day that I was missing out on my life.
You know, instead of getting excited about connecting with people
I love, I was stressed about what to eat or
how my body appeared when I was with them. Or
instead of engaging and focusing in on the conversations or
(03:18):
connections at hand, I was focusing in on what I
should eat or shouldn't eat and if anyone would judge
me if I got dessert, And instead of actually sitting
down and gifting myself the experience of a delicious meal
cooke to my liking in a fun environment with beautiful people.
I was feeling guilty or anxious or psychoanalytical about food
(03:40):
and my body. So yeah, I had motivation and discipline
and willpower and check in short term spurts, And yeah,
I was able to lose weight on demand or drop
a gene size in record time, or whatever you know
words I was using at the time. But you know
what else I had. I had a very toxic relationship
(04:01):
with my body and a very toxic relationship with my
food as a result. And to be honest, that toxicity
had very little to do with what I was eating
or how much I weighed. It had everything to do
with my relationship with food and my relationship with my
body and my whole life. I was so concerned with
(04:22):
being skinny or fit or whatever words I was using,
I never realized how much it was costing me and
my mental emotional health, not to mention costing me my
freedom because food was the boss of me, or I
was just a slave to some brutal workout routine to
ensure that I didn't go gain anything back. And so
(04:43):
twenty four hours a day, three hundred and sixty five
days a year, the life and body I was working
so hard to create was actually at the mercy of
this prison and at the mercy of exercise, and so yeah,
what to eat and how to stick with it weren't
the real problem in the end. I mean, I told
you I the motivation and discipline game backwards and forwards.
(05:03):
The real struggle was the simple truth that if I
wanted to win those air quotes games every single day,
it involved massive amounts of energy and grit and blood,
sweat and tears to maintain it. Because no matter how
motivated or disciplined I got myself to be on a
day to day basis, food and exercise still ruled my
(05:25):
every move, And no matter what size I wore or
how much weight I lost, I still had what I
now refer to as a fat head and a fat
self image sitting on top of my body, carrying around
the weight of the weight that I've mentioned on pretty
much every outweigh episode I've been on. And what I
realize is that it doesn't matter how much you weigh
(05:46):
or what size you wear, if you have what I
call a fat head or a fat self image sitting
on top of your body, you will always be carrying
around that weight of the weight too, And most women
think they have a weight problem, or a food problem,
or a laziness problem. But I don't believe any of
those things are the problem. And yes, women are walking
(06:07):
around with a weight problem. But it's the weight of
the weight that I keep mentioning that's weighing us down.
And it's the weight of shame and blame and guilt
and comparison itis that usually comes alongside, you know, typical
weight loft methods AKA you know, your inner critic, your
inner naysayer. There's the weight of the plans and programs
that cause you to restrict yourself and punish yourself or
(06:29):
persuade yourself to do the things you don't really want
to do. And then there's the weight of waiting for
the weight to live the life that you want to live,
and to wear what you want to wear, and do
what you want to do, and have the life that
you want to have and really just be who you
want to be. And that is the weight that is
truly weighing you down and keeping you on this roller
(06:50):
coaster of a ride with your body, because that's what
inevitably comes along for the ride when you're using food
and exercise as a weapon that works against you rather
than a helpful tool that works for you. So how
can you tell? How can we tell if we're using
food and exercise as a tool or as a weapon.
I should say, is a tool to get ourselves healthy.
(07:10):
And again you can't see me, but I'm putting healthy
in air quotes because that's kind of part of the problem,
is our version of healthy has gotten skewed. But you
know what I'm saying, are you using it to get
you healthy or are you using it as a weapon,
a weapon of punishment, control, restriction, or shame. And so
there's four different you know, kind of signs and symptoms
that I talk about with my clients, and I'm going
(07:32):
to just share all of them with you here today.
So let's dive in now real quick. I want to
just revisit this distinction between using something as a tool
versus using it as a weapon. And I mentioned this
on the is social Media Helping or Harming your relationship
(07:53):
with your Self Esteem? Episode? But it definitely bears repeating.
So the difference between using something as a tool and
using it as a weapon. So a very obvious example
would be when I had spine surgery and I was
in a lot of pain. Afterwards, they prescribed me opiates
as a tool to help me deal with my pain,
and using them responsibly, I could use them as a
(08:15):
tool for what they were designed for, to help me
manage my pain. Right, But to the tens of thousands
of people that die from opioid overdoses every single year,
that same drug, that same substance is no longer a
helpful tool. But instead now it's become a weapon of
abuse and destruction and addiction. And yeah, even though technically
(08:37):
it's the same substance, in one case, it's a helpful
tool and in one case it's a destructive weapon. And yes,
that's a very extreme example, but I really just want
you to get the concept here. And so sugar is
another example. It can absolutely be a tool for pleasure
and creativity and baking in the kitchen or you know,
connecting with family or friends over a treat, and a
(09:00):
tool to help regulate insulin and blood sugar for a
diabetic Now. I know sugar has been kind of villainized
in today's society, and that's not the point of today's episode.
But sugar as it's designed, it's not this bad or
evil thing, right, but too much of it, or using
it mindlessly, or using it to fill a void of sadness, loneliness, comfort, stress,
(09:22):
you name it, or any way of abusing it where
it does harm your health or your lifestyle. That same
sugar that seems substance, used in a different way can
become a weapon that harms us in the long run.
Now back to food in your body. So how can
you tell if you're using food and exercise as a
tool or if they've become a weapon. Well, let's talk
(09:45):
about that. So, like I said, there's four different signs
and symptoms that I talk about with my clients, and
I'm going to lay them all out for you here
right now, starting with the first one. So, the first
symptom is you're using food as a weapon of mass control.
And so if you've been living in that diet mentality
or disordered eating pattern for a while and your air
(10:07):
quotes diet brain is the one calling the shots, it's
only natural that it might start to feel like food
controls you more than you control it. And this is
when food has the tendency to become a means for
you to control yourself, compare yourself, or judge yourself, So
examples of this might look like just always thinking about
(10:27):
or counting or measuring or weighing your food, or constantly
restricting yourself or starving yourself or punishing yourself. Maybe you're
always just you know, cutting calories or using food as
a comfort or an escape, or maybe it's become a
weapon of feeling guilty after you eat, or feeling a
shame because of what or how much you eat, or
(10:49):
just feeling cranky or depleted or hungry or sad because
of food. Right, but it doesn't just stop there. For
a lot of people, somewhere along the way, food became personal.
And this is exactly what happened to me. So that's
why I know about it. But instead of it simply
remaining this inanimate object like a plant or a thumbtack,
(11:09):
it became a means of judgment and control and comparison.
So what's the solution. And again, as we've said before
on this podcast, it's simple, not easy, right, but the
solution is to make peace with food and instead of
using it as a weapon, to use it as a
tool of influence. But also notice what I did not say, Okay,
(11:31):
I did not say that the solution was to go
control food some more, or get better at controlling food
or dieting more, or get better at dieting, or go
on yet another attempt to lose weight. Okay, that's not
what I said. The solution I'm talking about here is
making peace with food and changing your relationship with food
(11:52):
while you move towards health. Okay, And here's what I mean.
There's a lot of voices out there labeling certain foods
as good or bad, right or wrong. But I believe
that it's these blanket statements that add shame and judgment
to a topic that doesn't require anyone else's opinions or
feedback or labels. And yeah, food is personal, right when
(12:14):
it comes to your desires, your preferences, and what tickles
your fancy, But it doesn't have to be used as
a weapon or a source of judgment. And to boot,
it's no one's business but your own. We do enough
of it on our own, but having it come from
third parties as a whole nother level. Because what you
eat and how much you eat and the way you
eat is personal and it's a personal choice. And food
(12:38):
is a resource, a tool, and a form of energy,
and it's no one's business but your own, and the
judgment that comes alongside food and what you eat, it's
completely optional, and when it's there, it takes away the
pleasure and the connection and the power that food has
to create. And when I say power, I mean yeah,
it's a powerful tool of healing and connection and pleasure
(13:00):
in all of those things. But again with the judgment,
it takes away the power of it and the influence
of it and makes it a weapon. But if you
start to call the truce with food, and if nothing more,
just stop making it out to be the enemy or
the bad guy. And if little by little you remove
the disconnect that you have with food and create some
(13:21):
new connections in your brain, one day you and food
really can become friends. And then, and really only then,
will you be able to use food as the powerful
tool that it truly is. And like I said, it's
a tool for pleasure and nourishment and connection and healing.
But in the meantime, if that feels like too far
of a stretch, I just invite you to let it
(13:43):
be neutral. Let it just be food. Symptom number two
is that you're using your body as a weapon of
mass control. So again, when your default brain is the
one in charge. You might feel like your body controls
you more than you control it, as in you feel
like a prisoner in your own body, or a prisoner
(14:03):
to your weight or your size. And this is when
you might have the tendency to use your body to
control yourself or compare yourself, or judge yourself, or just
compare and control and judge your body. And so examples
of this are how this might show up when used
as a weapon. Is you know, examples like punishing your
body with grueling workouts, or obsessing over the scale, or
(14:25):
just you know, simply letting the scale dictate your self worth.
You know, using comparison as a weapon. So whether it's
the clothes you want to wear, your body type, the
number of pushups you can do, anything comparing yourself to
somebody else is going to be using comparison as a weapon.
So allowing your body to create a disconnect in your
relationships or block intimacy. I hear this happened with my
(14:47):
clients all the time. This was a big thing for me.
Using the mirror as a weapon to compare or reject yourself,
that's a big one. Using pictures or photos as a
weapon to compare or reject yourself, and that's picture of
your self, pictures of others, using social media or the
media in general as a weapon to compare or reject yourself,
(15:08):
and using your body as an excuse not to do
the things that you want to do, or using your
body as an excuse to why you aren't happy, fulfilled, successful,
fill in the blank. Okay, so that is how you
know that. And again there's no shame to this, but
we're all about awareness. Here is just okay, now I
can see that these patterns they're not normal, or they
(15:31):
don't have to be my normal, right, and let me
rephrase that. Actually, now that I just said that, it's
not that they're not normal, they're natural and normal. Given
the programming that we've all gotten, I had it too,
But what I met was it doesn't have to be
your version of normal. It doesn't have to stay your
default any longer. And so the solution, like what's the alternative, Well,
(15:51):
the solution is to make peace with your body and
start to use it as a tool of influence. And again,
notice what I did not say. I did not say
that the solution was to go lose weight or whip
your body into shape or try to air quotes perfect yourself. Right.
So it's one of those things where, you know, making
peace with your body. A lot of people think like, oh,
(16:12):
I have to lose weight in order to make peace
with it. And that's where I'm inviting you to kind
of think about this backwards, like what if you made
peace first? And that was actually the gateway too. If
you want to change it, go for it, right, But
the solution is to make peace with your body while
you change it if you want to change it. And
I know that wanting to change your body is considered
bad or wrong in a lot of the health world
(16:35):
or the body positivity communities, and for again reasons be
on the scope of today, I don't agree with that,
and Amy and I are actually going to be talking
about that specifically in another episode of Outweigh coming up soon.
But back to what I was saying, your body and
your brain they are miraculous. They are miraculous pieces of machinery.
(16:56):
And sure they're also extremely complex, don't get me wrong.
But if you start tuning into your body, like what
do I need? What do I want? The requirements, the desirements,
which is a word I just made up, you're going
to find that a lot of that mystery starts to
go away. And the reason I say that is because unfortunately,
most women are totally ignoring their bodies or spending their
(17:18):
time shaming it, calling it names, blaming it, comparing it.
And that's why they don't. You know, if you ask
a lot of women what does your body need or
what do you want? They don't know because they're so disconnected. Right.
But when you lay down the weapons of control and
comparison and judgment, it leaves you the space to go
meet your body again and use this miraculous body and
(17:40):
nervous system of yours, your body, your breath, movement to
go set your body free. And yes, I said use
movement as a tool towards freedom in your body, not
using exercise as a way to punish your body. And
that means, you know, things like changing your relationship with exercise,
because most of us learned I know that I did
that exercise was this harder, faster, more, no pain, no gain,
(18:03):
mentality and finding something that you love that feels safe
to you and where there isn't any judgment placed upon you.
That's what I mean by changing your relationship with exercise
or movement so that you can go find something like that.
Other examples, it means, you know things like using the
mirror is just a mirror, not as a means to
reflect on the parts of your body that you don't
(18:24):
approve of, and beginning to get to know yourself naked,
which again most women totally avoid. So it means changing
your relationship with the mirror. It means things like changing
your relationship with the scale, because if you're going to
weigh and measure yourself, and again this isn't a black
and white like you shouldn't measure yourself or your way
or you should or shouldn't. It's not black and white.
It's different for everyone. But it's crucial that your self
(18:47):
esteem is not at the disposal of that number, and
so you might find that you have to change your
beliefs about what those numbers do and don't represent. And
again that's something that will never happen them through a diet.
Other examples of using it as a tool, It means
using pain as a tool and an indicator that your
(19:08):
body might need some rest or rejuvenation, or maybe that
you have some muscular imbalances that need to be taken
care of, or that your breathing or movement patterns need
to be addressed, or that your nervous system needs some love.
Like pain is really a signal from the brain telling
like giving you alert but a lot of us use
it as a weapon to shame ourselves. I know for me,
(19:29):
pain was a big source of shame for me and
made up stories that my body was broken, all those things.
You get the picture. So it might mean having to
change your relationship with pain if you are one of
those people that are in pain. And I get it,
all these things that I'm talking about right now, the
weight loss industry, the health industry, is not really talking
about this. They're throwing more and more diet and exercise
(19:50):
plans at you. So if nothing more, I just invite
you to stop looking at your body as a burden
or a curse or your downfall. Right, there's people all
over the world with circumstances far more life altering than
backfat or muffin top right. And I mean this with
so much love, and this is not a judgment, but
I do invite you to just give yourself a bit
(20:10):
of a reality check when you forget those things, because
we all need a reality check once in a while
myself included. Trust me, everything I share is stuff that
I need to hear as well. Bottom line, your body
and you are a tag team for the rest of
your life, whether you like it or not. So my
invitation to you is, like, what if the solution was
(20:31):
to just wave the white flag and begin to make
peace with your body? Right and if nothing more, start
playing on the same side and the same team as
your body and not finding against it, And then you
can start identifying and eliminating all the disconnects that you
have with your body and create some new connections, ones
that actually serve you and your happiness. Symptom number three
(20:59):
is you are walking around feeling weighed down by whatever
plan or program or structure you are or, let's be honest,
aren't following. So if your game plan is sucking the
life out of you and bogging you down, chances are
you're not gonna stick with it long term, and it's
gonna end up being another short term band aid and
(21:20):
you'll end up putting it in the category of great.
Here's another thing I tried that didn't work for me,
And we talked about all a lot of this in
the episode around losing that trust in yourself and how
to earn your trust back. But examples of this of
being weighed down or bogged down by whatever plan or
program you're following. So this might include, you know, not
enjoying your food or fitness plan, but committing to it anyways,
(21:43):
you know, feeling like crap all the time, right, like
having no energy, feeling grumpy or hungry all the time,
feeling ashamed of what you're doing to get there. Maybe
you know, worried that it's not safe for your body
or that you're setting a bad example to those around you,
and kind of having that voice in the back of
your mind. You know. Maybe it involves just being frustrated
with yourself for what you are or aren't doing, or
(22:04):
where you're not complying. Maybe it's just constantly needing a
new fix of motivation or accountability because your plan is
too hard to stick too long term and you're reliant
on that external point force to keep it going. Maybe
for you, it just shows up is feeling tired or
sore or achy, or or maybe even injured. I know,
(22:26):
for me, back in the day, I used to beat
my body to submission and cause injury because I was
so focused on losing weight and I was experiencing, you know,
symptoms of overtraining, but ignoring it and keeping going. So
that's one sign. Right. Maybe you're just feeling overloaded by information,
or you're overwhelmed and confused, or like things are more
complex than you want them to be, or then you
(22:47):
really know that they should be because it doesn't have
to be so complex, Or maybe it shows up for
you as you're just adding even more to an overpacked,
overstressed life. And we all know that the solution to
overwhelm is not to add more, right, So what is
the solution again, It's about ditching the weight of the weight.
It's ditching the weight of the journey that's making you
(23:10):
hate who you have to be or what you have
to do to get there. And then it's about finding
out what would work for you. It's about experimentation and
experimenting to find out what works for you. Because no
one can tell you that or give that to you
or feed it to you. You've got to discover it. Right.
They can give you the structure and the frameworks, but
in terms of the specifics, like you've got to go
(23:32):
uncover it and discover it. And chances are that if
you're not enjoying what you're doing or how you're feeling,
it's probably not the right roadmap for you. You need
your own roadmap too, not some cookie cutter, one size
fits all. And the solution is really to eliminate the
disconnect that your planner program is creating and find ways
to create connection instead, you know, connection to yourself, connection
(23:55):
to your body, connection to food, and so. In other words,
it's it could be a SA is finding something that
you enjoy and something that you wouldn't have to convince
or persuade or coerce yourself to stick with because you
really don't like it. And I think a lot of
people think that change in transformation has to be miserable
or that you're not supposed to enjoy the journey. I
(24:17):
think a lot of people think that change and transformation
has to be miserable or that you're not supposed to
enjoy the journey. And I couldn't disagree more. I mean,
if there's hard work that has to be put in right,
but you can work smarter, not harder. But that to
be said, if you're not esteemed, broccoli and pushups kind
of gal, then don't commit yourself to eternal broccoli dinners
(24:38):
and becoming a world record push up er, which I
think is another word I just made up, but you
get my point. On the flip side, if you love
brownies and lazy days on the couch once in a while,
it's important that you create a journey that enables you
to include those once in a while while getting to
your goals. And that might sound so counterintuitive to what
(25:01):
you learned about health and weight loss, but trust me,
it's how I approach it, and how it's It's how
all of my clients approach it too, because it doesn't
have to be this either or conversation. You know, a
lot of people think it's okay, I have to choose
happiness or health, weight loss or enjoying my life, and
I say, like, choose both. Have an and conversation rather
than an either or conversation. And again, that's why a
(25:23):
cookie cutter, one size fits all plan is not going
to help you figure out what works for you. And
I invite you to take an experimentation mindset and test
out a combination of modalities so that you can figure
out what you enjoy and what can make you a
better version of yourself in the meantime, and not only
what do you enjoy in life, but also like what
(25:45):
what do you want to stick with and what would
make you stick with it? Right? And you will never
stick with it if you're weighed down by the weight
of plans and programs that aren't sustainable, enjoyable, or doable.
It really is that simple. And symptom number four that
food or exercise or your body has become a weapon
is you're waiting for the weight to go live your
(26:08):
life the way you really want to. So thinking things
like you know, when I lose the weight, then I'll
wear that or commit to that, or feel that way
or feel successful, happy, love to fill in the blank again,
that's just a sign that your current self image is
doing the talking. And please don't hear what I'm not saying.
I'm not saying not to want more for your future
(26:29):
by all means, you know aim high. But if future
thinking is causing you to miss out on your life
right now, there's a good chance you're waiting for the
weight to live your best life. And so examples of
this might include just not being present or holding yourself
back in areas of your life that you truly want
to be moving forward. And so maybe it's your love life,
your career, hobby's family, whatever it is. Because you're waiting
(26:53):
till you are air quotes, thinner or have it all together,
maybe it looks like you just don't know yourself and
like yourself in trust yourself. And so you know, we've
talked about this on past episodes too, but if you
don't know yourself, or if you're disconnected from yourself, it's
harder to create change in yourself and to connect to others.
And if you don't like yourself, you're skipping a big part.
(27:13):
It's one thing to love yourself, and I've found honestly,
you know, a lot of the people that I work with,
they do actually love themselves, but liking themselves that's a
whole separate thing. And a lot of women straight up
don't like themselves and they don't like to even be
around themselves. And if you don't like yourself, that is
something that you might want to take a look at
(27:35):
as well. Again, no shame about it, but it's something
to look at. And if you don't trust yourself and
you don't believe yourself that you'll follow through on the
promises you make to yourself, and you're going to have
a really hard time creating that future that you desperately
desire if you don't trust yourself. And so the solution
is to stop waiting for the wait and to just
go do all you can do right now, to start
(27:57):
influencing yourself and influencing your body and influencing your life
right now. Because what do they say everywhere you go
there you'll be right. And so go live life as
that person right now while you go work towards your goals.
I mean, just think about it. What would you be
doing differently and who would you start being if you
(28:17):
started living life right now as the person you'll think
you'll be when you achieve the body that you desire.
So how would she walk, how would she talk? How
would she act? How would she feel? Right now? And
so that's where I invite you, like, get to know
yourself and learn to like yourself and learn to trust
yourself again, and then that journey towards self acceptance and
(28:38):
self love and body love will be a heck of
a lot easier because your life is happening right now,
whether whether you choose to accept it or not. Right,
it's happening right now. And so if you spend all
of your time living and worrying and projecting into the future,
you're gonna miss out on your life. So I'm just
inviting you not to wait for the weight to start
living your life as your most beautiful, powerful and confident self,
(29:02):
because I promise you you don't have to. And so
the bottom line is, your life and your body are
comprised of so much more than what you eat and
what you weigh and how many you know squats you
can do, and in fact, all of these measurements they
can be used against you as a weapon if you're
not aware. And that's why we're even having this conversation today.
(29:22):
And again you're allowed to want more for yourself, and
I go, I say, you know, go make those changes
and set those goals and take your life to the
next level. But don't turn into your own internal supercritic
just to get there. And know when you're using food
in your body or the experience itself as a weapon
(29:42):
against yourself rather than a tool of freedom. Okay, that's
really what I wanted you to get. And so hopefully
today's episode of Outweigh gave you the insight that you
needed to figure out what that looks like for you,
and just whatever you do, don't give up on your freedom.
I used to think that I had to live in
that diet prison, you know, filled with all of that
(30:03):
control and shame and stress. But I promise there is
a better way. You know, you don't have to give
up on carving out your own freedom. And don't believe
the lie that this is who you are forever and
this is how you have to live, because you were
meant for so much more. Okay, And if you liked
what you heard today and want to hear more about
just rewiring your brain your self image, head on over
(30:25):
to Stressless Eating. I've laid out my entire five step
game plan. It's the exact system my clients used to
heal their all or nothing diet mentality for good. But
of course, you know, no restricting, no using food and
body as a weapon, learning how to really use it
as a tool of influence. So I've laid it all
out for you five easy steps over at Stresslessheeding dot com.
(30:46):
And if you like today's episode, you'll be happy because
Amy will be back next week for some more outweigh
and I just happen to know that there is some
amazing stuff plan coming up. So until we meet again,
I'm Leanne Ellington signing up out
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know every part of me. It's
beautiful and then will always out Way if you feel
(00:24):
it with your hands and be here, She'll some love
to the food I get there. Take you one day, Anita,
did you and die? Out Way? Happy Saturday, Outweigh. I'm
Leanne Ellington and I'm a friend of Amy's and the
author and creator of Stressless Eating, and I am back
again as the resident guest host for a few episodes
(00:46):
of Outway, which we started doing a few weeks ago.
It's been super fun, so if you miss those, definitely
go back and check those out. And we are going
to just keep on trucking along with this week's episode
of Outweigh, which is all about this idea of are
you using food and exercise as a weapon. So just
for some context, I've been on diets and weight loss
(01:08):
program since I was in third grade, so you know,
if losing weight were an Olympic sport, I would have
taken home the gold medal by the time I was ten.
But in reality, all that happened to me was I
simply got really good at out smarting whatever plan or
program I was on. And I got really good at
fake it till you make it and motivational pump me ups.
(01:32):
And I got really good at tricking the scale and
tricking my stomach and tricking my mind. And I got
really good at living life hungry, you know, hungry and
tired and miserable and restricted. And so yeah, I mastered
those things, or at least I thought I did, but
there was a major cost. Essentially, I got really good
(01:52):
at out smarting and deceiving myself. But it didn't just
stop there. There was another really big fact that came
about as a result, because in order to maintain my
results or feel can I put this in air quotes,
you know, feel in control of my body. But obviously
I wasn't in control. I had to continue to outsmart
(02:13):
myself every single day in order to feel like I
was in control. And that well, that just flat out
exhausted me, to be honest, not to mention, it consumed
my life, and it consumed all of my inner thoughts.
And you know, if a friend called me to have dinner,
my first thoughts would be something like, ah, are they
going to have a salad there that would fill me up?
(02:35):
Or just freaking out thinking what am I going to eat?
And then another one of my inner voices would chime
in and say, well, if I'm really you know, air
quotes good all week and do extra cardio sessions at
the gym, then I can quote unquote earn my cheat
meal and feel really good about it. And so, looking
back at the unten times that this happened, or the
(02:56):
bazillion different types of situations like this that occurred in
my life on a daily basis, now I can see
clear as day that I was missing out on my life.
You know, instead of getting excited about connecting with people
I love, I was stressed about what to eat or
how my body appeared when I was with them. Or
instead of engaging and focusing in on the conversations or
(03:18):
connections at hand, I was focusing in on what I
should eat or shouldn't eat and if anyone would judge
me if I got dessert, And instead of actually sitting
down and gifting myself the experience of a delicious meal
cooke to my liking in a fun environment with beautiful people.
I was feeling guilty or anxious or psychoanalytical about food
(03:40):
and my body. So yeah, I had motivation and discipline
and willpower and check in short term spurts, And yeah,
I was able to lose weight on demand or drop
a gene size in record time, or whatever you know
words I was using at the time. But you know
what else I had. I had a very toxic relationship
(04:01):
with my body and a very toxic relationship with my
food as a result. And to be honest, that toxicity
had very little to do with what I was eating
or how much I weighed. It had everything to do
with my relationship with food and my relationship with my
body and my whole life. I was so concerned with
(04:22):
being skinny or fit or whatever words I was using,
I never realized how much it was costing me and
my mental emotional health, not to mention costing me my
freedom because food was the boss of me, or I
was just a slave to some brutal workout routine to
ensure that I didn't go gain anything back. And so
(04:43):
twenty four hours a day, three hundred and sixty five
days a year, the life and body I was working
so hard to create was actually at the mercy of
this prison and at the mercy of exercise, and so yeah,
what to eat and how to stick with it weren't
the real problem in the end. I mean, I told
you I the motivation and discipline game backwards and forwards.
(05:03):
The real struggle was the simple truth that if I
wanted to win those air quotes games every single day,
it involved massive amounts of energy and grit and blood,
sweat and tears to maintain it. Because no matter how
motivated or disciplined I got myself to be on a
day to day basis, food and exercise still ruled my
(05:25):
every move, And no matter what size I wore or
how much weight I lost, I still had what I
now refer to as a fat head and a fat
self image sitting on top of my body, carrying around
the weight of the weight that I've mentioned on pretty
much every outweigh episode I've been on. And what I
realize is that it doesn't matter how much you weigh
(05:46):
or what size you wear, if you have what I
call a fat head or a fat self image sitting
on top of your body, you will always be carrying
around that weight of the weight too, And most women
think they have a weight problem, or a food problem,
or a laziness problem. But I don't believe any of
those things are the problem. And yes, women are walking
(06:07):
around with a weight problem. But it's the weight of
the weight that I keep mentioning that's weighing us down.
And it's the weight of shame and blame and guilt
and comparison itis that usually comes alongside, you know, typical
weight loft methods AKA you know, your inner critic, your
inner naysayer. There's the weight of the plans and programs
that cause you to restrict yourself and punish yourself or
(06:29):
persuade yourself to do the things you don't really want
to do. And then there's the weight of waiting for
the weight to live the life that you want to live,
and to wear what you want to wear, and do
what you want to do, and have the life that
you want to have and really just be who you
want to be. And that is the weight that is
truly weighing you down and keeping you on this roller
(06:50):
coaster of a ride with your body, because that's what
inevitably comes along for the ride when you're using food
and exercise as a weapon that works against you rather
than a helpful tool that works for you. So how
can you tell? How can we tell if we're using
food and exercise as a tool or as a weapon.
I should say, is a tool to get ourselves healthy.
(07:10):
And again you can't see me, but I'm putting healthy
in air quotes because that's kind of part of the problem,
is our version of healthy has gotten skewed. But you
know what I'm saying, are you using it to get
you healthy or are you using it as a weapon,
a weapon of punishment, control, restriction, or shame. And so
there's four different you know, kind of signs and symptoms
that I talk about with my clients, and I'm going
(07:32):
to just share all of them with you here today.
So let's dive in now real quick. I want to
just revisit this distinction between using something as a tool
versus using it as a weapon. And I mentioned this
on the is social Media Helping or Harming your relationship
(07:53):
with your Self Esteem? Episode? But it definitely bears repeating.
So the difference between using something as a tool and
using it as a weapon. So a very obvious example
would be when I had spine surgery and I was
in a lot of pain. Afterwards, they prescribed me opiates
as a tool to help me deal with my pain,
and using them responsibly, I could use them as a
(08:15):
tool for what they were designed for, to help me
manage my pain. Right, But to the tens of thousands
of people that die from opioid overdoses every single year,
that same drug, that same substance is no longer a
helpful tool. But instead now it's become a weapon of
abuse and destruction and addiction. And yeah, even though technically
(08:37):
it's the same substance, in one case, it's a helpful
tool and in one case it's a destructive weapon. And yes,
that's a very extreme example, but I really just want
you to get the concept here. And so sugar is
another example. It can absolutely be a tool for pleasure
and creativity and baking in the kitchen or you know,
connecting with family or friends over a treat, and a
(09:00):
tool to help regulate insulin and blood sugar for a
diabetic Now. I know sugar has been kind of villainized
in today's society, and that's not the point of today's episode.
But sugar as it's designed, it's not this bad or
evil thing, right, but too much of it, or using
it mindlessly, or using it to fill a void of sadness, loneliness, comfort, stress,
(09:22):
you name it, or any way of abusing it where
it does harm your health or your lifestyle. That same
sugar that seems substance, used in a different way can
become a weapon that harms us in the long run.
Now back to food in your body. So how can
you tell if you're using food and exercise as a
tool or if they've become a weapon. Well, let's talk
(09:45):
about that. So, like I said, there's four different signs
and symptoms that I talk about with my clients, and
I'm going to lay them all out for you here
right now, starting with the first one. So, the first
symptom is you're using food as a weapon of mass control.
And so if you've been living in that diet mentality
or disordered eating pattern for a while and your air
(10:07):
quotes diet brain is the one calling the shots, it's
only natural that it might start to feel like food
controls you more than you control it. And this is
when food has the tendency to become a means for
you to control yourself, compare yourself, or judge yourself, So
examples of this might look like just always thinking about
(10:27):
or counting or measuring or weighing your food, or constantly
restricting yourself or starving yourself or punishing yourself. Maybe you're
always just you know, cutting calories or using food as
a comfort or an escape, or maybe it's become a
weapon of feeling guilty after you eat, or feeling a
shame because of what or how much you eat, or
(10:49):
just feeling cranky or depleted or hungry or sad because
of food. Right, but it doesn't just stop there. For
a lot of people, somewhere along the way, food became personal.
And this is exactly what happened to me. So that's
why I know about it. But instead of it simply
remaining this inanimate object like a plant or a thumbtack,
(11:09):
it became a means of judgment and control and comparison.
So what's the solution. And again, as we've said before
on this podcast, it's simple, not easy, right, but the
solution is to make peace with food and instead of
using it as a weapon, to use it as a
tool of influence. But also notice what I did not say, Okay,
(11:31):
I did not say that the solution was to go
control food some more, or get better at controlling food
or dieting more, or get better at dieting, or go
on yet another attempt to lose weight. Okay, that's not
what I said. The solution I'm talking about here is
making peace with food and changing your relationship with food
(11:52):
while you move towards health. Okay, And here's what I mean.
There's a lot of voices out there labeling certain foods
as good or bad, right or wrong. But I believe
that it's these blanket statements that add shame and judgment
to a topic that doesn't require anyone else's opinions or
feedback or labels. And yeah, food is personal, right when
(12:14):
it comes to your desires, your preferences, and what tickles
your fancy, But it doesn't have to be used as
a weapon or a source of judgment. And to boot,
it's no one's business but your own. We do enough
of it on our own, but having it come from
third parties as a whole nother level. Because what you
eat and how much you eat and the way you
eat is personal and it's a personal choice. And food
(12:38):
is a resource, a tool, and a form of energy,
and it's no one's business but your own, and the
judgment that comes alongside food and what you eat, it's
completely optional, and when it's there, it takes away the
pleasure and the connection and the power that food has
to create. And when I say power, I mean yeah,
it's a powerful tool of healing and connection and pleasure
(13:00):
in all of those things. But again with the judgment,
it takes away the power of it and the influence
of it and makes it a weapon. But if you
start to call the truce with food, and if nothing more,
just stop making it out to be the enemy or
the bad guy. And if little by little you remove
the disconnect that you have with food and create some
(13:21):
new connections in your brain, one day you and food
really can become friends. And then, and really only then,
will you be able to use food as the powerful
tool that it truly is. And like I said, it's
a tool for pleasure and nourishment and connection and healing.
But in the meantime, if that feels like too far
of a stretch, I just invite you to let it
(13:43):
be neutral. Let it just be food. Symptom number two
is that you're using your body as a weapon of
mass control. So again, when your default brain is the
one in charge. You might feel like your body controls
you more than you control it, as in you feel
like a prisoner in your own body, or a prisoner
(14:03):
to your weight or your size. And this is when
you might have the tendency to use your body to
control yourself or compare yourself, or judge yourself, or just
compare and control and judge your body. And so examples
of this are how this might show up when used
as a weapon. Is you know, examples like punishing your
body with grueling workouts, or obsessing over the scale, or
(14:25):
just you know, simply letting the scale dictate your self worth.
You know, using comparison as a weapon. So whether it's
the clothes you want to wear, your body type, the
number of pushups you can do, anything comparing yourself to
somebody else is going to be using comparison as a weapon.
So allowing your body to create a disconnect in your
relationships or block intimacy. I hear this happened with my
(14:47):
clients all the time. This was a big thing for me.
Using the mirror as a weapon to compare or reject yourself,
that's a big one. Using pictures or photos as a
weapon to compare or reject yourself, and that's picture of
your self, pictures of others, using social media or the
media in general as a weapon to compare or reject yourself,
(15:08):
and using your body as an excuse not to do
the things that you want to do, or using your
body as an excuse to why you aren't happy, fulfilled, successful,
fill in the blank. Okay, so that is how you
know that. And again there's no shame to this, but
we're all about awareness. Here is just okay, now I
can see that these patterns they're not normal, or they
(15:31):
don't have to be my normal, right, and let me
rephrase that. Actually, now that I just said that, it's
not that they're not normal, they're natural and normal. Given
the programming that we've all gotten, I had it too,
But what I met was it doesn't have to be
your version of normal. It doesn't have to stay your
default any longer. And so the solution, like what's the alternative, Well,
(15:51):
the solution is to make peace with your body and
start to use it as a tool of influence. And again,
notice what I did not say. I did not say
that the solution was to go lose weight or whip
your body into shape or try to air quotes perfect yourself. Right.
So it's one of those things where, you know, making
peace with your body. A lot of people think like, oh,
(16:12):
I have to lose weight in order to make peace
with it. And that's where I'm inviting you to kind
of think about this backwards, like what if you made
peace first? And that was actually the gateway too. If
you want to change it, go for it, right, But
the solution is to make peace with your body while
you change it if you want to change it. And
I know that wanting to change your body is considered
bad or wrong in a lot of the health world
(16:35):
or the body positivity communities, and for again reasons be
on the scope of today, I don't agree with that,
and Amy and I are actually going to be talking
about that specifically in another episode of Outweigh coming up soon.
But back to what I was saying, your body and
your brain they are miraculous. They are miraculous pieces of machinery.
(16:56):
And sure they're also extremely complex, don't get me wrong.
But if you start tuning into your body, like what
do I need? What do I want? The requirements, the desirements,
which is a word I just made up, you're going
to find that a lot of that mystery starts to
go away. And the reason I say that is because unfortunately,
most women are totally ignoring their bodies or spending their
(17:18):
time shaming it, calling it names, blaming it, comparing it.
And that's why they don't. You know, if you ask
a lot of women what does your body need or
what do you want? They don't know because they're so disconnected. Right.
But when you lay down the weapons of control and
comparison and judgment, it leaves you the space to go
meet your body again and use this miraculous body and
(17:40):
nervous system of yours, your body, your breath, movement to
go set your body free. And yes, I said use
movement as a tool towards freedom in your body, not
using exercise as a way to punish your body. And
that means, you know, things like changing your relationship with exercise,
because most of us learned I know that I did
that exercise was this harder, faster, more, no pain, no gain,
(18:03):
mentality and finding something that you love that feels safe
to you and where there isn't any judgment placed upon you.
That's what I mean by changing your relationship with exercise
or movement so that you can go find something like that.
Other examples, it means, you know things like using the
mirror is just a mirror, not as a means to
reflect on the parts of your body that you don't
(18:24):
approve of, and beginning to get to know yourself naked,
which again most women totally avoid. So it means changing
your relationship with the mirror. It means things like changing
your relationship with the scale, because if you're going to
weigh and measure yourself, and again this isn't a black
and white like you shouldn't measure yourself or your way
or you should or shouldn't. It's not black and white.
It's different for everyone. But it's crucial that your self
(18:47):
esteem is not at the disposal of that number, and
so you might find that you have to change your
beliefs about what those numbers do and don't represent. And
again that's something that will never happen them through a diet.
Other examples of using it as a tool, It means
using pain as a tool and an indicator that your
(19:08):
body might need some rest or rejuvenation, or maybe that
you have some muscular imbalances that need to be taken
care of, or that your breathing or movement patterns need
to be addressed, or that your nervous system needs some love.
Like pain is really a signal from the brain telling
like giving you alert but a lot of us use
it as a weapon to shame ourselves. I know for me,
(19:29):
pain was a big source of shame for me and
made up stories that my body was broken, all those things.
You get the picture. So it might mean having to
change your relationship with pain if you are one of
those people that are in pain. And I get it,
all these things that I'm talking about right now, the
weight loss industry, the health industry, is not really talking
about this. They're throwing more and more diet and exercise
(19:50):
plans at you. So if nothing more, I just invite
you to stop looking at your body as a burden
or a curse or your downfall. Right, there's people all
over the world with circumstances far more life altering than
backfat or muffin top right. And I mean this with
so much love, and this is not a judgment, but
I do invite you to just give yourself a bit
(20:10):
of a reality check when you forget those things, because
we all need a reality check once in a while
myself included. Trust me, everything I share is stuff that
I need to hear as well. Bottom line, your body
and you are a tag team for the rest of
your life, whether you like it or not. So my
invitation to you is, like, what if the solution was
(20:31):
to just wave the white flag and begin to make
peace with your body? Right and if nothing more, start
playing on the same side and the same team as
your body and not finding against it, And then you
can start identifying and eliminating all the disconnects that you
have with your body and create some new connections, ones
that actually serve you and your happiness. Symptom number three
(20:59):
is you are walking around feeling weighed down by whatever
plan or program or structure you are or, let's be honest,
aren't following. So if your game plan is sucking the
life out of you and bogging you down, chances are
you're not gonna stick with it long term, and it's
gonna end up being another short term band aid and
(21:20):
you'll end up putting it in the category of great.
Here's another thing I tried that didn't work for me,
And we talked about all a lot of this in
the episode around losing that trust in yourself and how
to earn your trust back. But examples of this of
being weighed down or bogged down by whatever plan or
program you're following. So this might include, you know, not
enjoying your food or fitness plan, but committing to it anyways,
(21:43):
you know, feeling like crap all the time, right, like
having no energy, feeling grumpy or hungry all the time,
feeling ashamed of what you're doing to get there. Maybe
you know, worried that it's not safe for your body
or that you're setting a bad example to those around you,
and kind of having that voice in the back of
your mind. You know. Maybe it involves just being frustrated
with yourself for what you are or aren't doing, or
(22:04):
where you're not complying. Maybe it's just constantly needing a
new fix of motivation or accountability because your plan is
too hard to stick too long term and you're reliant
on that external point force to keep it going. Maybe
for you, it just shows up is feeling tired or
sore or achy, or or maybe even injured. I know,
(22:26):
for me, back in the day, I used to beat
my body to submission and cause injury because I was
so focused on losing weight and I was experiencing, you know,
symptoms of overtraining, but ignoring it and keeping going. So
that's one sign. Right. Maybe you're just feeling overloaded by information,
or you're overwhelmed and confused, or like things are more
complex than you want them to be, or then you
(22:47):
really know that they should be because it doesn't have
to be so complex, Or maybe it shows up for
you as you're just adding even more to an overpacked,
overstressed life. And we all know that the solution to
overwhelm is not to add more, right, So what is
the solution again, It's about ditching the weight of the weight.
It's ditching the weight of the journey that's making you
(23:10):
hate who you have to be or what you have
to do to get there. And then it's about finding
out what would work for you. It's about experimentation and
experimenting to find out what works for you. Because no
one can tell you that or give that to you
or feed it to you. You've got to discover it. Right.
They can give you the structure and the frameworks, but
in terms of the specifics, like you've got to go
(23:32):
uncover it and discover it. And chances are that if
you're not enjoying what you're doing or how you're feeling,
it's probably not the right roadmap for you. You need
your own roadmap too, not some cookie cutter, one size
fits all. And the solution is really to eliminate the
disconnect that your planner program is creating and find ways
to create connection instead, you know, connection to yourself, connection
(23:55):
to your body, connection to food, and so. In other words,
it's it could be a SA is finding something that
you enjoy and something that you wouldn't have to convince
or persuade or coerce yourself to stick with because you
really don't like it. And I think a lot of
people think that change in transformation has to be miserable
or that you're not supposed to enjoy the journey. I
(24:17):
think a lot of people think that change and transformation
has to be miserable or that you're not supposed to
enjoy the journey. And I couldn't disagree more. I mean,
if there's hard work that has to be put in right,
but you can work smarter, not harder. But that to
be said, if you're not esteemed, broccoli and pushups kind
of gal, then don't commit yourself to eternal broccoli dinners
(24:38):
and becoming a world record push up er, which I
think is another word I just made up, but you
get my point. On the flip side, if you love
brownies and lazy days on the couch once in a while,
it's important that you create a journey that enables you
to include those once in a while while getting to
your goals. And that might sound so counterintuitive to what
(25:01):
you learned about health and weight loss, but trust me,
it's how I approach it, and how it's It's how
all of my clients approach it too, because it doesn't
have to be this either or conversation. You know, a
lot of people think it's okay, I have to choose
happiness or health, weight loss or enjoying my life, and
I say, like, choose both. Have an and conversation rather
than an either or conversation. And again, that's why a
(25:23):
cookie cutter, one size fits all plan is not going
to help you figure out what works for you. And
I invite you to take an experimentation mindset and test
out a combination of modalities so that you can figure
out what you enjoy and what can make you a
better version of yourself in the meantime, and not only
what do you enjoy in life, but also like what
(25:45):
what do you want to stick with and what would
make you stick with it? Right? And you will never
stick with it if you're weighed down by the weight
of plans and programs that aren't sustainable, enjoyable, or doable.
It really is that simple. And symptom number four that
food or exercise or your body has become a weapon
is you're waiting for the weight to go live your
(26:08):
life the way you really want to. So thinking things
like you know, when I lose the weight, then I'll
wear that or commit to that, or feel that way
or feel successful, happy, love to fill in the blank again,
that's just a sign that your current self image is
doing the talking. And please don't hear what I'm not saying.
I'm not saying not to want more for your future
(26:29):
by all means, you know aim high. But if future
thinking is causing you to miss out on your life
right now, there's a good chance you're waiting for the
weight to live your best life. And so examples of
this might include just not being present or holding yourself
back in areas of your life that you truly want
to be moving forward. And so maybe it's your love life,
your career, hobby's family, whatever it is. Because you're waiting
(26:53):
till you are air quotes, thinner or have it all together,
maybe it looks like you just don't know yourself and
like yourself in trust yourself. And so you know, we've
talked about this on past episodes too, but if you
don't know yourself, or if you're disconnected from yourself, it's
harder to create change in yourself and to connect to others.
And if you don't like yourself, you're skipping a big part.
(27:13):
It's one thing to love yourself, and I've found honestly,
you know, a lot of the people that I work with,
they do actually love themselves, but liking themselves that's a
whole separate thing. And a lot of women straight up
don't like themselves and they don't like to even be
around themselves. And if you don't like yourself, that is
something that you might want to take a look at
(27:35):
as well. Again, no shame about it, but it's something
to look at. And if you don't trust yourself and
you don't believe yourself that you'll follow through on the
promises you make to yourself, and you're going to have
a really hard time creating that future that you desperately
desire if you don't trust yourself. And so the solution
is to stop waiting for the wait and to just
go do all you can do right now, to start
(27:57):
influencing yourself and influencing your body and influencing your life
right now. Because what do they say everywhere you go
there you'll be right. And so go live life as
that person right now while you go work towards your goals.
I mean, just think about it. What would you be
doing differently and who would you start being if you
(28:17):
started living life right now as the person you'll think
you'll be when you achieve the body that you desire.
So how would she walk, how would she talk? How
would she act? How would she feel? Right now? And
so that's where I invite you, like, get to know
yourself and learn to like yourself and learn to trust
yourself again, and then that journey towards self acceptance and
(28:38):
self love and body love will be a heck of
a lot easier because your life is happening right now,
whether whether you choose to accept it or not. Right,
it's happening right now. And so if you spend all
of your time living and worrying and projecting into the future,
you're gonna miss out on your life. So I'm just
inviting you not to wait for the weight to start
living your life as your most beautiful, powerful and confident self,
(29:02):
because I promise you you don't have to. And so
the bottom line is, your life and your body are
comprised of so much more than what you eat and
what you weigh and how many you know squats you
can do, and in fact, all of these measurements they
can be used against you as a weapon if you're
not aware. And that's why we're even having this conversation today.
(29:22):
And again you're allowed to want more for yourself, and
I go, I say, you know, go make those changes
and set those goals and take your life to the
next level. But don't turn into your own internal supercritic
just to get there. And know when you're using food
in your body or the experience itself as a weapon
(29:42):
against yourself rather than a tool of freedom. Okay, that's
really what I wanted you to get. And so hopefully
today's episode of Outweigh gave you the insight that you
needed to figure out what that looks like for you,
and just whatever you do, don't give up on your freedom.
I used to think that I had to live in
that diet prison, you know, filled with all of that
(30:03):
control and shame and stress. But I promise there is
a better way. You know, you don't have to give
up on carving out your own freedom. And don't believe
the lie that this is who you are forever and
this is how you have to live, because you were
meant for so much more. Okay, And if you liked
what you heard today and want to hear more about
just rewiring your brain your self image, head on over
(30:25):
to Stressless Eating. I've laid out my entire five step
game plan. It's the exact system my clients used to
heal their all or nothing diet mentality for good. But
of course, you know, no restricting, no using food and
body as a weapon, learning how to really use it
as a tool of influence. So I've laid it all
out for you five easy steps over at Stresslessheeding dot com.
(30:46):
And if you like today's episode, you'll be happy because
Amy will be back next week for some more outweigh
and I just happen to know that there is some
amazing stuff plan coming up. So until we meet again,
I'm Leanne Ellington signing up out
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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