April 3, 2022 • 34 mins
Bonus Episode!! As part of a new listener led series, Amy sat down with podcast listener, Katie Tramonte, and answered a list of questions she came up with!! Hope you enjoy this little Q&A whether you listen to it on a ‘Sunday Stroll’ {shout out ‘The Walk Thing’ — iykyk} or not! :) Fun Fact: Katie has a therapeutic non-profit called ‘The Original Design Restored’ — that’s also the name of her podcast if you want to check that out!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Sunday. Welcome to the Listener Q and a episode
which is listener lead. So I'm gonna go ahead and
hand the mic to Katie, who is this week's listener. So, Katie,
why don't you introduce yourself, tell us a little bit
about you and how long you've been listening, and then
we'll get into your questions. Okay, sounds good. So I've
(00:25):
actually only been listening for about six months, so I
would say I'm a newer listener. And ironically I found
your podcast through Cat's show, so I have been listening
to You Need Therapy, and I think Four Things with
Amy Brown popped up as a suggestion and I was like, oh,
I'll check it out and ended up being like my
favorite fun podcast. So I started listening because it was enjoyable.
(00:48):
But then as I kept listening, you are so good
at inter weaving fun with authenticity and kind of honesty
about humanity and it makes me at least, but I'm
sure other people feel kind of normal in our humanity
and in pursuing change or facing things that we need
growth in, and I think that kept me listening. I
was like, Okay, this is like a real person talking
(01:09):
about real things, but in a way that I'm enjoying it.
I'm excited to have a newer listener on because some
of the others have been b teamers, which is what
we call our loyal Bobby Bones show listeners. Do you
not even listen to the Bobby But okay, so yeah,
this should definitely be interesting, like a different take. So
where are you coming to us from? So? I'm in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
(01:31):
I've lived in Tulsa for about twelve years, but I
consider myself a Nevada in So I grew up in
Nevada and moved out to Tulsa about twelve years ago.
Um when my husband and I got married, and we
have three boys. I was a public school teacher, I'm
a homeschool mom. Now I run a nonprofit kind of
all those kinds of things. I love it. Okay, well,
I'm ready for the questions if you want to share away,
(01:52):
and then I feel like then I have questions, and
I'm like, oh yeah, I'm sister to let you ask questions.
But later I want to hear more about the nonprofit
that you run for sure. For sure, So let's start
with something fun. So you've traveled and lived a lot
of different places. Of all the places you've traveled and lived,
what two to three do you enjoy the most. Okay, well,
I would hands down move to Pagosas Springs, Colorado and
(02:12):
a heartbeat, that is where my sister lives. But her
and her husband they ended up moving there and living
there because they enjoyed going there as well. We went
there as kids. My sister's husband's family in particular, they
went all the time, and his parents have a place nearby.
So when they decided to make that move, at first
it was a second home and they would airbnb when
(02:35):
they weren't there, and they lived in Austin, and then
I think by the time my sister realized her kids
were going to be in high school, she was like, ah,
I don't want them to go to this big high school.
This is not the experience I want for them. So
they decided to pack it up, moved to a small town,
bought a coffee shop, and now they're going to randomly
be on h GTV actually soon coming up on Sunday,
(02:58):
April tenth, shout out their episode premiers. It's called Building Roots.
But I love Colorado. I could probably name a handful
of towns or cities in Colorado that I would move to.
That's really the only place I could see myself living
in the United States unless I moved back to Austin. Actually,
I just a lie just came out of my mouth
(03:21):
straight up, because I have this burning desire to live
in New York, like New York City, like Manhattan in
the city. And yeah, I think I've shared this before,
how some people are just like if they've lived there,
they kind of tell you all the reasons why you
would hate it, And I'm like, well, hey, you got
the chance to live there and figure that out for yourself.
Like I would like the opportunity to figure that out
(03:41):
for myself. And maybe it's a dream that will come
true one day. Maybe it's a pipe dream that will
never ever happen. But I love the energy of New York,
so I feel like I would thrive there. But who
knows come wintertime, when I had to like bundle up
and walk all around and like it was a pain
to get places, I might end up hating it. But
(04:03):
when I visit, I love it. So New York Austin,
which is my hometown, I would move back there because
I currently live in Nashville or Pagosa Springs, Colorado. And
then part of me thinks that I could if having
another home like in Haiti somewhere and it was safe,
I would have a place on one of the beautiful
beaches in Haiti, and that way I could take my
(04:25):
kids back there and their moms could come over and
families and we could all hang out and retreat to
like a Haitian beach village or something, which I would
be amazing if you could do that. So basically, if
you could have four homes, it would be ideal for differently.
I like the way you're thinking. I mean, hey, we're dreaming.
Why not. Then I'll have I've got a penthouse in
(04:46):
New York. I have something in the Texas hill country,
like near Austin. Since I've New York gives me that
downtown living vibe. Then I could stay in Nashville. And
then I could have a mountain home in Colorado. Know
I like the way you think there's and then retreat
in Haiti. Perfect perfect. So you were totally set up
(05:08):
to live in multiple places and have lots of exposure
to different cultures and like speeds of life, pace of life.
It would be perfect, perfect, well a little more serious.
One of the things that I love about your podcast
and you is that you share about therapy openly, and
not everybody does, especially not everyone with a platform. And
I think the way that you just talk about your
(05:30):
journey makes it very relatable to anyone else. Processing Okay,
I think I need some growth in this place. But
often I think the question always comes up, and at
least I'm curious, what was the moment when you were
like when you were thinking, Okay, I need to take
a step to go into therapy, Like, what was that
significant moment? Because it's usually not just like accidental, Like
you don't just happen into therapy. You usually choose that.
(05:54):
So for you, what was that step that kind of
triggered that. Well, I definitely went years and years and
years was without a therapy. But my first exposure to
therapy when when I was a child. I remember my
mom taking me because my parents had split up, and
I think she just thought, well, that's the thing that
we do. And I really didn't like it at all
and we didn't stick with it, so I wish I had.
(06:18):
Then I went to therapy a little bit again in
high school and then a little bit, teeny tiny bit
in college, and then I would say after I got married,
I was always pro therapy, and I would speak of
therapy in a way that like, oh, yeah, yeah, you
should do therapy. But was I doing it myself. No.
We did pre marital counseling, and then as we were married,
(06:38):
we started to do couples counseling. I mean, my husband
was in the military and he was deployed, and when
he would come home, I mean, there was just a
lot that we needed help with communication wise, so we
started seeing couples therapists. But still that's not working on
your own self and your own things, and even us,
we didn't stick with that. I think it was when
(06:59):
and it was only in the last few years. I
knew I wanted help with my eating disorder, and I
knew I wanted it gone, which I think that's what
drove me there to therapy, Like in college, was because
I was really struggling with it then and I wanted help.
I was desperate. Let me back up a little bit
because my mom passed away in two thousand and fourteen
(07:21):
and I went to therapy immediately following that, But even
then I didn't stick with it. I would find reasons
of why I didn't really like that person, and then
booking another person would be hard. And you know, then
we adopted our kids and I thought, I'm gonna have
to get them in therapy. And now we're all loaded
up in therapy. Fast forward, here we are. But I
would say, even after the death of my mom, throughout
(07:41):
my life it was circumstantial, right, it was like an
event would happen, I would go to therapy. So this
is my long winded way of saying that now I'm
to a point where I'm consistently going and it's not circumstantial.
I've been dedicated to going the last couple of years
because I went in wanting help with the eating disorder,
(08:03):
but then also at the same time realized some things
from my friends that they had shared that they noticed
about me, and I got curious about unpacking that, Like
I had no idea, my friends saw me this way,
and I don't want to be that. So then it
was layered into working on myself, working on the eating disorder,
working on becoming a better mom because some of my
(08:25):
friendship stuff, actually I saw showing up and how I
was parenting because I wasn't able to connect with my
kids the way that I wanted to, and then other
circumstantial life things just totally hit me like sucker punched
me one too, where I was like, oh, yeah, I'm
glad I'm already in therapy, but it's almost like I
(08:45):
had to build even more of a team and more support.
And I say this all with the huge understanding of
the privilege that I have to have access to the
tools and resources and people that I do, because not
everybody does. And I think that I'm rounding a corner
or maybe I won't need such a team. I can
(09:07):
maybe taper back. I don't think someone needs to be
in therapy every week for the rest of their lives.
You can go in and out of seasons. But I
am just thankful that I'm open to doing that if
that's what I need to do for me. But I
hope that I'm rounding a corner where I can back
down from some things. I'm not as intense as where
(09:29):
I was probably about six seven months ago, but again,
there was some circumstantial stuff, and every therapist that has
been in my life the last couple of years has
offered me a gift like they have taught me things
and shown me things and helped me dig a little
bit deeper. And I think that I have benefited from
(09:52):
these people because I've been willing. I hit a place
where I was like, whatever you need me to do,
and I had to do the work. It's not like
I was like, whatever you tell me, I'll do it,
or whatever you say, that's what it will be. Because
I've been in desperate times where that's what I wanted.
I'm like, can you just tell me exactly? And they're like, no, Amy,
you have to work to figure that out. I can
(10:13):
just help guide you and get you there. So I
think eating disorder, loss of parents, other relationship things, adopted children,
there's things that have helped me want to stay on
the therapy train. But I think it's just dipping your
toe in the water and then when you realize, oh wow,
unmost like the fruits of your labor. Like I know
(10:35):
there's certain stuff that became very apparent to me through
therapy that I was like, oh, I need to work
on that, and I know that I've worked on it,
and then you see the progress in yourself and then
other people around you see the progress and you're like
oh well, this is fun. Working on yourself can actually
be exciting, not daunting, even though to be real, there
(10:55):
are days that are super daunting. It's just like this
excitement to want to be better and and live because
there's days where I just want to like go get
in my bed and go and cover my head and
not see the world. But because I've been putting in
the work and I've been given these amazing tools, some
which of which I share here on the podcast and
(11:18):
through other experts that come on I'm not an expert,
by the way, by other experts, I mean, in addition
to like cat Defata you host you Need Therapy, because
she co hosts the Fifth Thing with me and other
people that are in my life. I don't run to
my room and hide under my bed in my covers.
And I'm not saying those days might not come, but
I don't want that for my listeners, like I don't
(11:39):
want them to have those days. Now. Some people, depending
on if it's like severe depression, it's not even like
they get to really make that choice. They're just really
really stuck in a dark place. So I'm sensitive when
I say this too that it's not like, oh, just
grab some tools. Put them in your toolbox and you'll
be good to go. But yeah, I could go on
and on and on about this, as you can tell.
But and you're just like shake in your head, Katie,
(12:00):
you're so cute. What are your thoughts on that? Well?
I think you just shared so many valuable things and
I think I mean, first of all, it sounds like,
just reflecting back, you did a lot of therapy that
was kind of reactionary to circumstances, right, so that was
the beginning. So you have a lot of exposure to therapy.
But this choice and it wasn't It doesn't sound like
it was even a like it was a growth choice.
(12:23):
Not necessarily therapy is the thing that you have to
deal but you made a considerable choice to have personal
growth in therapy is one of the ways that you
have put that work in. And I think you said
something along the lines of you wanted to live your
life and that resonates so much. As I'm listening to you,
I am nodding my head through the whole thing that
you shared because it's more than oh I should go
(12:45):
to therapy and it's just hard work and I'm going
to have bad days and yes, therapy is daunting and exhausting,
and there are days you do want to get under
your covers. But as you gain more tools and as
you learn more about yourself and feel more whole, you
have more to give and more are like life inside
of you as well, and it's so exciting, which kind
of leads me into the next question because kind of
(13:07):
as as people think about therapy, especially if you haven't
been in therapy, so for me, therapy was something that
was always scary, so I did a lot of other
healing and growth steps first before I ever went to
therapy because it sounded so scary and it is hard work,
and I didn't know if I wanted to put the
hard work in um. So I think it can kind
of get this negative connotation of oh, it's going to
be hard and daunting and a lot of emotional pain,
(13:28):
and that's true. It is hard work. You do face
things that can be difficult. But in my experience, and
I'm assuming yours as well, there's so much good that
comes out of a season of healing and growth, whether
that's therapy or some other process of healing and growth.
So I want to hear from you what have been
the benefits in your life of having gone through therapy, Like,
(13:49):
what are the actual things that you see as good
out of this? What have been the benefits in your
life of having gone through therapy? Like, what are the
actual things that you see as good out of this?
(14:12):
I would say a big one is like the mind
body spirit connection. Like I'm way more connected than I
ever have been. And I know that I had a
lot of unexplained rage or anger, and I'm not an
angry person, but I would just boil over and lose it,
especially after we got our kids and they came to
(14:36):
America about four years ago, So just to put it
in context for time like that where I am in therapy,
because I've only been doing the intense therapy the last
two to three years and kids arrived four years ago,
so a year year and a half, I mean. And
it was very stressful getting a seven year old and
a ten year old who didn't speak English and have
their own trauma and they had just left the only
(14:56):
country they ever knew, and you're kind of thinking, oh,
we're here to give be this amazing life, and then
they're like, wait, what, we don't want to sleep alone.
We've only slept with other people, our entire lives, and
now you're giving us our own bedroom, which of course
we would think would be amazing. Well anyway, of course
we knew that was a possibility, it would happen, but
you end up not getting great sleep, So then not
(15:18):
only are you stressed, but you're tired. So all these
things started to pile on all that too. Um, my husband,
I had some stuff going on in our relationship. My
eating disorder was in full force. So I was only
a couple of years after losing my mom. That same
year we got the kids. Like it, Within four to
five months of getting the kids, my dog of the
(15:40):
ten years died and then my dad was diagnosed with cancer,
and so no wonder I had some like rage popping
up that because I wasn't in therapy, I wasn't really
doing the work I wasn't given or wasn't didn't have
tools readily available for myself, and so I would do
these things where I'm just snap and I would yell
(16:00):
and I would slam things, and people would probably be
shocked to hear that I behaved this way, almost like
a child, and I was scaring my children, which I
know other parents have these moments, and I actually don't
feel shame in it, because any time I've shared it
with any other mom or dad or any they're like, oh,
(16:22):
I get it, I get it, I get it. Like
it's fine, it's fine, and you can't beat yourself up
over it at all. But I didn't want to be
stuck in that. And I have noticed my rage. I
don't even have it like I used to think, Oh,
this is hormones. I'm probably just kind to live with
this the rest of my life. And I actually probably
used the hormones as an excuse. And sure it's not
(16:44):
that I don't have hormonal days, but it's nowhere near
what it was. It's wild. I even tell my therapist
about I'm like, you would be shocked at how calm
I was during this. This thing happened to me, and
this would have sent me into a frenzy a couple
of years ago, and now I'm like cool as a cucumber.
It's not that I'm not phased by it, and it's
(17:05):
not that I'm just like letting it roll off my back,
but it just doesn't affect me in the way. It
doesn't have power over me, because again, I'm in a
more even place mind, body, and spirit, and I'm more
connected with myself and I know what's really important, and
I can calm myself down, and I have breathing exercises,
and I set boundaries. So maybe certain things set boundaries
with myself as set boundaries of other people, and I'm
(17:25):
not still great at that. Boundaries are still really hard,
by the way, if I I don't know if they
ever get easy. I hope so. But like there's been
times where I've had to set boundaries where I ended
up like hyperventilating in my car over it. So that's
also me saying boundaries are hard. But I'm to the
point now where maybe if I have to make a
tough call like that, hopefully I'm not hyperventilating in my car.
(17:46):
But if i am, guess what, I have the tools
for my hyperventilating. So now I can hopefully reset and
try to if I do have anxiety or stress about something,
I can navigate through it and it doesn't last as
long as it would have. And another thing, I mean,
(18:06):
when you have a eating disorder, that was the way
of me numbing out to a lot of my feelings.
And now that I am in recovery. I think too,
that has allowed me space to really process certain things
in a faster way because I'm not just stuffing them
down and numb like numbing out with that, I no
longer have that as a tool because that's a tool too,
So no shame if that's what you do to deal
(18:28):
with life. I have a lot of empathy for you
in that area, and I hope you can get out
of that. But you are doing the best you can
to deal with life, and some that's where other things
come into play. And for me it was needing disorder.
For other people it might be something else that they
used to numb out, and I hope that you can
(18:50):
get through that. But it's very freeing to see now
that I don't have that as a way to distract
from everything. I deal with things a lot faster, And
I think neural feedback has been huge for me too
in doing whatever the heck it's doing with my brain.
Quite honestly, I'm still fascinated by it, but my a
d D. It's helping with that so much, and it's
(19:11):
I think that's helping my with me getting overwhelmed. But
again I say that with privilege for being able to
have a neuro feedback therapist and go. And again, that's
not a forever thing, but it is something I am
choosing to invest in right now because my personal one
on one therapist thought it would be beneficial for me,
and gosh, I'm so glad she did because it's been
a game changer and I'm I'm continuing with it until
(19:35):
I feel like the time is up when I look
at my budget and not like there's things where I've
had to be like, Okay, I'm going to stop doing
that because I want to keep doing this and that
therapy is something that's just it's winning over other things
that I would maybe spend on myself. Now it's like
I know that I need to do this for the
betterment of me, and that is okay to focus on
(19:56):
me and for the betterment of my family and for
the betterment of my relationships and my career, and the
list goes on and on and on. Yeah, I was
asking the benefits of therapy for you, and what I'm
hearing is more integration mind, body, spirit. And I'm also
hearing self awareness, so you're aware of what you're feeling,
but you also now have tools for when you're aware,
(20:18):
because if you're self aware without tools, it can be overwhelming. Okay,
I'm angry, Well what do I do? And what you
shared about rage I totally relate to. That's kind of
what sent me on my growth journey was I don't
understand why I'm reacting to my kids the way I am,
and I was loud and harsh in my tone and
angry at times, and you get surprised when you're starting
to realize I have emotions going on that I don't
(20:39):
know what to do. Is so, if you're self aware
without tools, that can be a tricky spot. So not
only are you connected mind, body, spirit, you're self aware
of your emotions, but then you moved into having tools
for those emotions and being able to move past. It's
almost like, I think, from what I'm hearing you say,
the eating disorder was a way of coping with what
life was throwing at you. But then there is another
(21:00):
stage where now you can actually feel what you're feeling
and process through it without turning towards the numbing out space.
And so it sounds like you're really integrated your whole,
your present, You're equipped to move through what's happening in life.
And more stable and kind of even keel plates. Not
that you don't feel things, but you know what to
(21:21):
do with what you feel. Yeah, equipped is a good word,
and I wouldn't say I have this thing, you know,
down perfectly, and those that are close to me, you
know it's not I never want to come off like,
oh yeah, I've got this all figured out now. I'm
just like this, you know, I got all the tools.
And being in a relationship with me in any sort
of ways super fun. I mean no, I mean I
think that it allows me to just have grace for
(21:46):
myself and grace for others and a level of understanding
too of like, look at all what I had going on,
and if someone else is reacting or behaving a certain way,
I don't have any judgment about I'm just like, oh,
I wonder what be going on with them today? And
then it helps me not obsess over things like I
used to, because I would get fixated on things or
why are they acting that way? And I would make
(22:07):
it about me and it wasn't about me, and just
more compassionate and understanding for others but also for myself.
And I think that that's a good place to be
and wanting to continuously do the work, and whether that's
actually in active weekly therapy or every other week or not,
you can still find ways to be reading books or
(22:28):
listening to certain podcasts or following certain accounts that are
gonna challenge you and enlighten you and encourage you, like
what are what are you bringing into your life? Because
there's there's other ways to get that information, you know,
without having to go to therapy. So you know, I
just just want to make sure that I'm not coming
off as like, oh, I've got this all down, because
(22:50):
I don't, but I'm I'm willing to face it and
I'm willing to I think I receive information better from others.
I don't take things so personally anymore. I'm like, oh, wow,
thank you for sharing that. I actually had no idea
you felt that way or that you were experiencing me
in that way. And that's not how I want that
to be. I can't obsess over something. I used to
have thoughts on a loop and have anxiety about certain
(23:13):
things over and over, but I've had to release that
and not get too attached to certain things because then
that can cause a whole another slew of issues and
the letting go of that has been offered me more
peace because all I can do is focus on myself.
I can't worry about what someone else is thinking or doing.
(23:33):
It doesn't mean I don't care at all. That was
weird for me to wrap my hands around because I'm like, oh,
but if I do that, then they might think that
I don't care. My therapist often says, well, that's not
your side of the street. Actually, that's actually it's not
your problem to really even worry about that. Their opinion
of you is not your problem at all, because I
know at the end of the day, look, I've tried
(23:54):
my best and I've been kind and I don't you know,
I don't know what else to do with that. But
does that that part makes sense? That's my disclaimer of like,
I'm not an expert at all. Well, I think that's
really important. I think more you can celebrate their growth
you've had, which is what you're doing, and you're still
a human on a journey, so you haven't arrived. You're
not perfected. That wouldn't I mean, that wouldn't be realistic,
(24:16):
and that'd be a whole other perfection was the goal.
That would be a whole other issue that we would
be dealing with. But that you're on a growth journey
and you can celebrate where you've been is really beautiful.
And it also that taking in people's opinions is really
I can look at it and then I can release it,
and that's a really huge step. And I think probably
there's a lot of us who are like, oh, that
that idea feels really good. If I could take it
(24:39):
in and release it without that loop that you're describing,
that would feel so nice to interact with people that way,
which would be another benefit of doing hard work like therapy. Yeah. Yeah,
So okay, so this is where you are now, so
kind of my last question, When you envision yourself ten
years from now, what do you hope you'll be like, Okay, well,
(25:00):
if we do my math, I would be fifty one
years old, and gosh, that seems crazy to be I'm
more than half of my life to live because the
average life expectancy is seventy eight and a half years old. So,
you know, can I see myself in my penthouse in
New York City? I hope that we have raised two
amazing kids that are now starting a life of their own.
(25:23):
I think at that point my daughter will be mid
twenties and my son would be early twenties. I hope
I'm doing something that I love, which is I've really
enjoyed my time on the Bobby Bones Show. I have
no idea of ten years from now we would still
be doing that. That would be crazy to think about
if Bobby Lunchbox and I we started together in our
(25:45):
early to mid twenties, and then at fifty one, if
we were still doing it. But I love being able
to connect with people, so still doing something along the
lines of that. What do you hope you'll be like?
If you could pick two character qualities, what do you
most hope you and body at. I hope that I
have meaningful connections with people, quality relationships, not quantity, and
(26:10):
that I've created a community with my family but also
my friends because family doesn't have to be blood. But
I want a tight knit group of people that I
feel safe with. I don't think it will take ten
years to get there. I already have some of those
people in my life, by the way, but I want
(26:32):
that to be nurtured like a plant, like I've got
it now and we just continue to add water to
it and it grows and it blooms, and there's so
many memories that we have made over the last ten years.
And I see myself hopefully taking like meaningful trips with people.
That's not something I do a lot of, Like if
I were to look into the future, how I want
(26:53):
to live and if I do and when I have
the time to do it, like really intentional trips of connection,
Like I don't know, do we do some therapy retreats somewhere,
but like with people, not alone. I've done some of
those things alone, but like with people. So I hope
I'm connected because again that part of me is something
(27:13):
that's still new, is is nurturing certain relationships that I
have and really trying to dig into them. And you know,
I hope that that, you know, we I see the
fruits of that labor in those relationships. So I'm hopeful
for that. And then who knows, Like I don't want
to push the grandma thing too soon, but if my
kids were to, hopefully they wait till they're like thirty something,
(27:38):
but who knows, maybe I'll be a grandma. Maybe Grandma'll
be twenty years twenty year goal, Yeah, maybe we'll see.
But connected and meaningful connections with people and even kind
of adventuring and life together, whether that's two places or
growth and not just doing growth on your own, but
(27:59):
with people in a connected way and a connected space.
I like that adventuring into life. I like that you
said that word, because I have not been the most
adventurous person. It's just not me. But I see that
in my future. I see more adventure. And maybe that's
because now I'm more I have more space to live,
(28:21):
I have more capacity for the living. And I think
that adventurous people have that they have a zeal for
life and when you're bogged down with lots of things,
and again, there's no shame in that if that is you.
But for me, I just had things that piled on,
piled on, piled on, and then again because the way
(28:41):
I coped and then the way I numbed it didn't
allow for much living. It actually occupied a lot of
my brain. And now that I have this free space,
it leaves room for some adventure and some excitement, for
some possibilities. And so I'm I'm not totally totally there yet,
but I can feel myself getting there, and I see
it in my future. So I'm excited to see where
(29:03):
that that takes me. That's awesome. I love it. Well, Katie,
before we go, I know those are your four questions
do you have? Which I loved them. Thank you for that.
But what is this nonprofit? So I started a nonprofit.
It's called Original Design Restored and it kind of developed
out of my own healing and growth journey. And so
we have intensives, which are three days where we have
(29:27):
a facilitated space with specific sessions that kind of take
you through. It's kind of a mixture of like the
gospel story but also personal narratives, so reflecting on your
own story and experiential learning, which is kind of learning
through doing, not learning through someone teaching you here's how
you need to heal, so kind of experiencing, Oh how
(29:47):
do I respond in this situation? Do I want to
respond that way? Do I want to change? And it's small, small,
small groups with volunteers and myself kind of facilitating growth
and healing in kind of connected but it's not therapy.
It's more just kind of processing your own story, reflecting
on your own story. So it's story work that's kind
of the category it falls in. And personal growth, and
(30:09):
we also have a podcast, and so that's like the
freeway to connect with the tools that we have where
we kind of share all the content that we do
at and intensive on our podcast, which is available as
a podcast. Well, so what is the podcast name? So
the podcast is also Original Design Restored. So either of
those you can find all of our stuff Instagram, Apple, podcast,
Spotify wherever podcasts are, and then our website as well.
(30:30):
So Original Design Restored Restored. Okay, I was just making
sure you say it's so fast, and I'm just howing
to make sure people know exactly what you're saying, Original
Design Restored. And I think that that's great. I love
hearing more about that and our listeners getting get another
tool and a resource that they can have to listen
(30:52):
to for that as they're walking through something in that connection.
And each therapist that I have worked with has been
experiential and so I think that that's huge and that's
something you could even ask if you're feeling out for therapists, like, hey,
what are some things that you do and just that
you know, one time, even my therapist had me go
stand on the side of the side of the room
(31:13):
and be like that represents me in North Carolina. Now
this is just an example, and then I would walk
over to the other side of the room and that
represents me in Nashville or whatever. But like when I'm there,
it's weird. Like if you if you do it right
and you take on, you'll take on the emotions from
that place or that state, and then you go over
and then you're physically even though you're in the same room,
(31:36):
you're just switching. But it's just a way of you
really being able to tap in and connect. And I
have enjoyed it. And of course that's just one little
tiny example. I'm sure there's a therapist to be like.
I could probably give a better example than that, but
that's one that was particularly powerful for me because it
was just literally in my living room and I was
on Zoom with my therapist and she had me walking
(31:57):
from corner to corner. And at first I was kind
of like, this is ridiculous, and then I felt it
and I was like, oh, like a lightbulb went off
and I was like, oh, I know what to do now,
because it's it's an embodied experience, you're actually experiencing something
as opposed to just taking an information. Correct. Yeah, I
love it. And there's tons of other yeah, like I said,
activities and things that I've done with beanie babies before.
(32:19):
In fact, I was even looking at a beanie baby
that one of my therapists gave me because the beanie
baby was me as a child, and I talked to
it and then she let me keep it and I
love it in my closet. So there's things like that
that make you feel really weird. In the moment, you're like,
am I really talking to a beanie baby as myself
as a child. But then the next thing, you know,
(32:40):
you're like crying as you talk to this little beanie baby,
and it's it releases so much and so you know,
I don't knock into your tryet. Yes, well, thank you
Katie for your work. I've got my son staring at me,
like let's go outside and play. And here in Nashville
today when we're recording this, the sun is out and
it is beautiful, so I'm and a go do my
(33:01):
mom thing, which I know Katie you understand, and everybody
thank you so much for listening to these episodes and
sending an emails. Katie, I'm glad you sent in an email,
especially being a new Ish listener only of like six
months or so and shout out to Cat's podcast You
need Therapy. That is how we got linked up. You
(33:22):
even found my podcast through that, so that's just super special,
especially her being on my podcast network. I love That's
full circle. And four Things with Amy Brown at gmail
dot com is where you can send in an email
if you would like to be like Katie and lead
one of these listener Q and A episodes. So, Katie,
(33:43):
any final thoughts, No, I think just maybe one is
everyone be brave if you need to take a step
of growth. Might need to quote you on the fifth thing,
go for it, Cat and I always do a quote
at the beginning, so why don't you say it again. Okay,
so everyone be brave. If you need to take a
step of growth, be brave. It is scary, Yeah, I
remember taking that first step in some days it's going
(34:04):
to be easier than others, but it truly is going
to be one of the best things for you if
you can muster up the courage to do it and
stay the course. Thank you, Katie. Yeah, it's great to
be here.
Happy Sunday. Welcome to the Listener Q and a episode
which is listener lead. So I'm gonna go ahead and
hand the mic to Katie, who is this week's listener. So, Katie,
why don't you introduce yourself, tell us a little bit
about you and how long you've been listening, and then
we'll get into your questions. Okay, sounds good. So I've
(00:25):
actually only been listening for about six months, so I
would say I'm a newer listener. And ironically I found
your podcast through Cat's show, so I have been listening
to You Need Therapy, and I think Four Things with
Amy Brown popped up as a suggestion and I was like, oh,
I'll check it out and ended up being like my
favorite fun podcast. So I started listening because it was enjoyable.
(00:48):
But then as I kept listening, you are so good
at inter weaving fun with authenticity and kind of honesty
about humanity and it makes me at least, but I'm
sure other people feel kind of normal in our humanity
and in pursuing change or facing things that we need
growth in, and I think that kept me listening. I
was like, Okay, this is like a real person talking
(01:09):
about real things, but in a way that I'm enjoying it.
I'm excited to have a newer listener on because some
of the others have been b teamers, which is what
we call our loyal Bobby Bones show listeners. Do you
not even listen to the Bobby But okay, so yeah,
this should definitely be interesting, like a different take. So
where are you coming to us from? So? I'm in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
(01:31):
I've lived in Tulsa for about twelve years, but I
consider myself a Nevada in So I grew up in
Nevada and moved out to Tulsa about twelve years ago.
Um when my husband and I got married, and we
have three boys. I was a public school teacher, I'm
a homeschool mom. Now I run a nonprofit kind of
all those kinds of things. I love it. Okay, well,
I'm ready for the questions if you want to share away,
(01:52):
and then I feel like then I have questions, and
I'm like, oh yeah, I'm sister to let you ask questions.
But later I want to hear more about the nonprofit
that you run for sure. For sure, So let's start
with something fun. So you've traveled and lived a lot
of different places. Of all the places you've traveled and lived,
what two to three do you enjoy the most. Okay, well,
I would hands down move to Pagosas Springs, Colorado and
(02:12):
a heartbeat, that is where my sister lives. But her
and her husband they ended up moving there and living
there because they enjoyed going there as well. We went
there as kids. My sister's husband's family in particular, they
went all the time, and his parents have a place nearby.
So when they decided to make that move, at first
it was a second home and they would airbnb when
(02:35):
they weren't there, and they lived in Austin, and then
I think by the time my sister realized her kids
were going to be in high school, she was like, ah,
I don't want them to go to this big high school.
This is not the experience I want for them. So
they decided to pack it up, moved to a small town,
bought a coffee shop, and now they're going to randomly
be on h GTV actually soon coming up on Sunday,
(02:58):
April tenth, shout out their episode premiers. It's called Building Roots.
But I love Colorado. I could probably name a handful
of towns or cities in Colorado that I would move to.
That's really the only place I could see myself living
in the United States unless I moved back to Austin. Actually,
I just a lie just came out of my mouth
(03:21):
straight up, because I have this burning desire to live
in New York, like New York City, like Manhattan in
the city. And yeah, I think I've shared this before,
how some people are just like if they've lived there,
they kind of tell you all the reasons why you
would hate it, And I'm like, well, hey, you got
the chance to live there and figure that out for yourself.
Like I would like the opportunity to figure that out
(03:41):
for myself. And maybe it's a dream that will come
true one day. Maybe it's a pipe dream that will
never ever happen. But I love the energy of New York,
so I feel like I would thrive there. But who
knows come wintertime, when I had to like bundle up
and walk all around and like it was a pain
to get places, I might end up hating it. But
(04:03):
when I visit, I love it. So New York Austin,
which is my hometown, I would move back there because
I currently live in Nashville or Pagosa Springs, Colorado. And
then part of me thinks that I could if having
another home like in Haiti somewhere and it was safe,
I would have a place on one of the beautiful
beaches in Haiti, and that way I could take my
(04:25):
kids back there and their moms could come over and
families and we could all hang out and retreat to
like a Haitian beach village or something, which I would
be amazing if you could do that. So basically, if
you could have four homes, it would be ideal for differently.
I like the way you're thinking. I mean, hey, we're dreaming.
Why not. Then I'll have I've got a penthouse in
(04:46):
New York. I have something in the Texas hill country,
like near Austin. Since I've New York gives me that
downtown living vibe. Then I could stay in Nashville. And
then I could have a mountain home in Colorado. Know
I like the way you think there's and then retreat
in Haiti. Perfect perfect. So you were totally set up
(05:08):
to live in multiple places and have lots of exposure
to different cultures and like speeds of life, pace of life.
It would be perfect, perfect, well a little more serious.
One of the things that I love about your podcast
and you is that you share about therapy openly, and
not everybody does, especially not everyone with a platform. And
I think the way that you just talk about your
(05:30):
journey makes it very relatable to anyone else. Processing Okay,
I think I need some growth in this place. But
often I think the question always comes up, and at
least I'm curious, what was the moment when you were
like when you were thinking, Okay, I need to take
a step to go into therapy, Like, what was that
significant moment? Because it's usually not just like accidental, Like
you don't just happen into therapy. You usually choose that.
(05:54):
So for you, what was that step that kind of
triggered that. Well, I definitely went years and years and
years was without a therapy. But my first exposure to
therapy when when I was a child. I remember my
mom taking me because my parents had split up, and
I think she just thought, well, that's the thing that
we do. And I really didn't like it at all
and we didn't stick with it, so I wish I had.
(06:18):
Then I went to therapy a little bit again in
high school and then a little bit, teeny tiny bit
in college, and then I would say after I got married,
I was always pro therapy, and I would speak of
therapy in a way that like, oh, yeah, yeah, you
should do therapy. But was I doing it myself. No.
We did pre marital counseling, and then as we were married,
(06:38):
we started to do couples counseling. I mean, my husband
was in the military and he was deployed, and when
he would come home, I mean, there was just a
lot that we needed help with communication wise, so we
started seeing couples therapists. But still that's not working on
your own self and your own things, and even us,
we didn't stick with that. I think it was when
(06:59):
and it was only in the last few years. I
knew I wanted help with my eating disorder, and I
knew I wanted it gone, which I think that's what
drove me there to therapy, Like in college, was because
I was really struggling with it then and I wanted help.
I was desperate. Let me back up a little bit
because my mom passed away in two thousand and fourteen
(07:21):
and I went to therapy immediately following that, But even
then I didn't stick with it. I would find reasons
of why I didn't really like that person, and then
booking another person would be hard. And you know, then
we adopted our kids and I thought, I'm gonna have
to get them in therapy. And now we're all loaded
up in therapy. Fast forward, here we are. But I
would say, even after the death of my mom, throughout
(07:41):
my life it was circumstantial, right, it was like an
event would happen, I would go to therapy. So this
is my long winded way of saying that now I'm
to a point where I'm consistently going and it's not circumstantial.
I've been dedicated to going the last couple of years
because I went in wanting help with the eating disorder,
(08:03):
but then also at the same time realized some things
from my friends that they had shared that they noticed
about me, and I got curious about unpacking that, Like
I had no idea, my friends saw me this way,
and I don't want to be that. So then it
was layered into working on myself, working on the eating disorder,
working on becoming a better mom because some of my
(08:25):
friendship stuff, actually I saw showing up and how I
was parenting because I wasn't able to connect with my
kids the way that I wanted to, and then other
circumstantial life things just totally hit me like sucker punched
me one too, where I was like, oh, yeah, I'm
glad I'm already in therapy, but it's almost like I
(08:45):
had to build even more of a team and more support.
And I say this all with the huge understanding of
the privilege that I have to have access to the
tools and resources and people that I do, because not
everybody does. And I think that I'm rounding a corner
or maybe I won't need such a team. I can
(09:07):
maybe taper back. I don't think someone needs to be
in therapy every week for the rest of their lives.
You can go in and out of seasons. But I
am just thankful that I'm open to doing that if
that's what I need to do for me. But I
hope that I'm rounding a corner where I can back
down from some things. I'm not as intense as where
(09:29):
I was probably about six seven months ago, but again,
there was some circumstantial stuff, and every therapist that has
been in my life the last couple of years has
offered me a gift like they have taught me things
and shown me things and helped me dig a little
bit deeper. And I think that I have benefited from
(09:52):
these people because I've been willing. I hit a place
where I was like, whatever you need me to do,
and I had to do the work. It's not like
I was like, whatever you tell me, I'll do it,
or whatever you say, that's what it will be. Because
I've been in desperate times where that's what I wanted.
I'm like, can you just tell me exactly? And they're like, no, Amy,
you have to work to figure that out. I can
(10:13):
just help guide you and get you there. So I
think eating disorder, loss of parents, other relationship things, adopted children,
there's things that have helped me want to stay on
the therapy train. But I think it's just dipping your
toe in the water and then when you realize, oh wow,
unmost like the fruits of your labor. Like I know
(10:35):
there's certain stuff that became very apparent to me through
therapy that I was like, oh, I need to work
on that, and I know that I've worked on it,
and then you see the progress in yourself and then
other people around you see the progress and you're like
oh well, this is fun. Working on yourself can actually
be exciting, not daunting, even though to be real, there
(10:55):
are days that are super daunting. It's just like this
excitement to want to be better and and live because
there's days where I just want to like go get
in my bed and go and cover my head and
not see the world. But because I've been putting in
the work and I've been given these amazing tools, some
which of which I share here on the podcast and
(11:18):
through other experts that come on I'm not an expert,
by the way, by other experts, I mean, in addition
to like cat Defata you host you Need Therapy, because
she co hosts the Fifth Thing with me and other
people that are in my life. I don't run to
my room and hide under my bed in my covers.
And I'm not saying those days might not come, but
I don't want that for my listeners, like I don't
(11:39):
want them to have those days. Now. Some people, depending
on if it's like severe depression, it's not even like
they get to really make that choice. They're just really
really stuck in a dark place. So I'm sensitive when
I say this too that it's not like, oh, just
grab some tools. Put them in your toolbox and you'll
be good to go. But yeah, I could go on
and on and on about this, as you can tell.
But and you're just like shake in your head, Katie,
(12:00):
you're so cute. What are your thoughts on that? Well?
I think you just shared so many valuable things and
I think I mean, first of all, it sounds like,
just reflecting back, you did a lot of therapy that
was kind of reactionary to circumstances, right, so that was
the beginning. So you have a lot of exposure to therapy.
But this choice and it wasn't It doesn't sound like
it was even a like it was a growth choice.
(12:23):
Not necessarily therapy is the thing that you have to
deal but you made a considerable choice to have personal
growth in therapy is one of the ways that you
have put that work in. And I think you said
something along the lines of you wanted to live your
life and that resonates so much. As I'm listening to you,
I am nodding my head through the whole thing that
you shared because it's more than oh I should go
(12:45):
to therapy and it's just hard work and I'm going
to have bad days and yes, therapy is daunting and exhausting,
and there are days you do want to get under
your covers. But as you gain more tools and as
you learn more about yourself and feel more whole, you
have more to give and more are like life inside
of you as well, and it's so exciting, which kind
of leads me into the next question because kind of
(13:07):
as as people think about therapy, especially if you haven't
been in therapy, so for me, therapy was something that
was always scary, so I did a lot of other
healing and growth steps first before I ever went to
therapy because it sounded so scary and it is hard work,
and I didn't know if I wanted to put the
hard work in um. So I think it can kind
of get this negative connotation of oh, it's going to
be hard and daunting and a lot of emotional pain,
(13:28):
and that's true. It is hard work. You do face
things that can be difficult. But in my experience, and
I'm assuming yours as well, there's so much good that
comes out of a season of healing and growth, whether
that's therapy or some other process of healing and growth.
So I want to hear from you what have been
the benefits in your life of having gone through therapy, Like,
(13:49):
what are the actual things that you see as good
out of this? What have been the benefits in your
life of having gone through therapy? Like, what are the
actual things that you see as good out of this?
(14:12):
I would say a big one is like the mind
body spirit connection. Like I'm way more connected than I
ever have been. And I know that I had a
lot of unexplained rage or anger, and I'm not an
angry person, but I would just boil over and lose it,
especially after we got our kids and they came to
(14:36):
America about four years ago, So just to put it
in context for time like that where I am in therapy,
because I've only been doing the intense therapy the last
two to three years and kids arrived four years ago,
so a year year and a half, I mean. And
it was very stressful getting a seven year old and
a ten year old who didn't speak English and have
their own trauma and they had just left the only
(14:56):
country they ever knew, and you're kind of thinking, oh,
we're here to give be this amazing life, and then
they're like, wait, what, we don't want to sleep alone.
We've only slept with other people, our entire lives, and
now you're giving us our own bedroom, which of course
we would think would be amazing. Well anyway, of course
we knew that was a possibility, it would happen, but
you end up not getting great sleep, So then not
(15:18):
only are you stressed, but you're tired. So all these
things started to pile on all that too. Um, my husband,
I had some stuff going on in our relationship. My
eating disorder was in full force. So I was only
a couple of years after losing my mom. That same
year we got the kids. Like it, Within four to
five months of getting the kids, my dog of the
(15:40):
ten years died and then my dad was diagnosed with cancer,
and so no wonder I had some like rage popping
up that because I wasn't in therapy, I wasn't really
doing the work I wasn't given or wasn't didn't have
tools readily available for myself, and so I would do
these things where I'm just snap and I would yell
(16:00):
and I would slam things, and people would probably be
shocked to hear that I behaved this way, almost like
a child, and I was scaring my children, which I
know other parents have these moments, and I actually don't
feel shame in it, because any time I've shared it
with any other mom or dad or any they're like, oh,
(16:22):
I get it, I get it, I get it. Like
it's fine, it's fine, and you can't beat yourself up
over it at all. But I didn't want to be
stuck in that. And I have noticed my rage. I
don't even have it like I used to think, Oh,
this is hormones. I'm probably just kind to live with
this the rest of my life. And I actually probably
used the hormones as an excuse. And sure it's not
(16:44):
that I don't have hormonal days, but it's nowhere near
what it was. It's wild. I even tell my therapist
about I'm like, you would be shocked at how calm
I was during this. This thing happened to me, and
this would have sent me into a frenzy a couple
of years ago, and now I'm like cool as a cucumber.
It's not that I'm not phased by it, and it's
(17:05):
not that I'm just like letting it roll off my back,
but it just doesn't affect me in the way. It
doesn't have power over me, because again, I'm in a
more even place mind, body, and spirit, and I'm more
connected with myself and I know what's really important, and
I can calm myself down, and I have breathing exercises,
and I set boundaries. So maybe certain things set boundaries
with myself as set boundaries of other people, and I'm
(17:25):
not still great at that. Boundaries are still really hard,
by the way, if I I don't know if they
ever get easy. I hope so. But like there's been
times where I've had to set boundaries where I ended
up like hyperventilating in my car over it. So that's
also me saying boundaries are hard. But I'm to the
point now where maybe if I have to make a
tough call like that, hopefully I'm not hyperventilating in my car.
(17:46):
But if i am, guess what, I have the tools
for my hyperventilating. So now I can hopefully reset and
try to if I do have anxiety or stress about something,
I can navigate through it and it doesn't last as
long as it would have. And another thing, I mean,
(18:06):
when you have a eating disorder, that was the way
of me numbing out to a lot of my feelings.
And now that I am in recovery. I think too,
that has allowed me space to really process certain things
in a faster way because I'm not just stuffing them
down and numb like numbing out with that, I no
longer have that as a tool because that's a tool too,
So no shame if that's what you do to deal
(18:28):
with life. I have a lot of empathy for you
in that area, and I hope you can get out
of that. But you are doing the best you can
to deal with life, and some that's where other things
come into play. And for me it was needing disorder.
For other people it might be something else that they
used to numb out, and I hope that you can
(18:50):
get through that. But it's very freeing to see now
that I don't have that as a way to distract
from everything. I deal with things a lot faster, And
I think neural feedback has been huge for me too
in doing whatever the heck it's doing with my brain.
Quite honestly, I'm still fascinated by it, but my a
d D. It's helping with that so much, and it's
(19:11):
I think that's helping my with me getting overwhelmed. But
again I say that with privilege for being able to
have a neuro feedback therapist and go. And again, that's
not a forever thing, but it is something I am
choosing to invest in right now because my personal one
on one therapist thought it would be beneficial for me,
and gosh, I'm so glad she did because it's been
a game changer and I'm I'm continuing with it until
(19:35):
I feel like the time is up when I look
at my budget and not like there's things where I've
had to be like, Okay, I'm going to stop doing
that because I want to keep doing this and that
therapy is something that's just it's winning over other things
that I would maybe spend on myself. Now it's like
I know that I need to do this for the
betterment of me, and that is okay to focus on
(19:56):
me and for the betterment of my family and for
the betterment of my relationships and my career, and the
list goes on and on and on. Yeah, I was
asking the benefits of therapy for you, and what I'm
hearing is more integration mind, body, spirit. And I'm also
hearing self awareness, so you're aware of what you're feeling,
but you also now have tools for when you're aware,
(20:18):
because if you're self aware without tools, it can be overwhelming. Okay,
I'm angry, Well what do I do? And what you
shared about rage I totally relate to. That's kind of
what sent me on my growth journey was I don't
understand why I'm reacting to my kids the way I am,
and I was loud and harsh in my tone and
angry at times, and you get surprised when you're starting
to realize I have emotions going on that I don't
(20:39):
know what to do. Is so, if you're self aware
without tools, that can be a tricky spot. So not
only are you connected mind, body, spirit, you're self aware
of your emotions, but then you moved into having tools
for those emotions and being able to move past. It's
almost like, I think, from what I'm hearing you say,
the eating disorder was a way of coping with what
life was throwing at you. But then there is another
(21:00):
stage where now you can actually feel what you're feeling
and process through it without turning towards the numbing out space.
And so it sounds like you're really integrated your whole,
your present, You're equipped to move through what's happening in life.
And more stable and kind of even keel plates. Not
that you don't feel things, but you know what to
(21:21):
do with what you feel. Yeah, equipped is a good word,
and I wouldn't say I have this thing, you know,
down perfectly, and those that are close to me, you
know it's not I never want to come off like,
oh yeah, I've got this all figured out now. I'm
just like this, you know, I got all the tools.
And being in a relationship with me in any sort
of ways super fun. I mean no, I mean I
think that it allows me to just have grace for
(21:46):
myself and grace for others and a level of understanding
too of like, look at all what I had going on,
and if someone else is reacting or behaving a certain way,
I don't have any judgment about I'm just like, oh,
I wonder what be going on with them today? And
then it helps me not obsess over things like I
used to, because I would get fixated on things or
why are they acting that way? And I would make
(22:07):
it about me and it wasn't about me, and just
more compassionate and understanding for others but also for myself.
And I think that that's a good place to be
and wanting to continuously do the work, and whether that's
actually in active weekly therapy or every other week or not,
you can still find ways to be reading books or
(22:28):
listening to certain podcasts or following certain accounts that are
gonna challenge you and enlighten you and encourage you, like
what are what are you bringing into your life? Because
there's there's other ways to get that information, you know,
without having to go to therapy. So you know, I
just just want to make sure that I'm not coming
off as like, oh, I've got this all down, because
(22:50):
I don't, but I'm I'm willing to face it and
I'm willing to I think I receive information better from others.
I don't take things so personally anymore. I'm like, oh, wow,
thank you for sharing that. I actually had no idea
you felt that way or that you were experiencing me
in that way. And that's not how I want that
to be. I can't obsess over something. I used to
have thoughts on a loop and have anxiety about certain
(23:13):
things over and over, but I've had to release that
and not get too attached to certain things because then
that can cause a whole another slew of issues and
the letting go of that has been offered me more
peace because all I can do is focus on myself.
I can't worry about what someone else is thinking or doing.
(23:33):
It doesn't mean I don't care at all. That was
weird for me to wrap my hands around because I'm like, oh,
but if I do that, then they might think that
I don't care. My therapist often says, well, that's not
your side of the street. Actually, that's actually it's not
your problem to really even worry about that. Their opinion
of you is not your problem at all, because I
know at the end of the day, look, I've tried
(23:54):
my best and I've been kind and I don't you know,
I don't know what else to do with that. But
does that that part makes sense? That's my disclaimer of like,
I'm not an expert at all. Well, I think that's
really important. I think more you can celebrate their growth
you've had, which is what you're doing, and you're still
a human on a journey, so you haven't arrived. You're
not perfected. That wouldn't I mean, that wouldn't be realistic,
(24:16):
and that'd be a whole other perfection was the goal.
That would be a whole other issue that we would
be dealing with. But that you're on a growth journey
and you can celebrate where you've been is really beautiful.
And it also that taking in people's opinions is really
I can look at it and then I can release it,
and that's a really huge step. And I think probably
there's a lot of us who are like, oh, that
that idea feels really good. If I could take it
(24:39):
in and release it without that loop that you're describing,
that would feel so nice to interact with people that way,
which would be another benefit of doing hard work like therapy. Yeah. Yeah,
So okay, so this is where you are now, so
kind of my last question, When you envision yourself ten
years from now, what do you hope you'll be like, Okay, well,
(25:00):
if we do my math, I would be fifty one
years old, and gosh, that seems crazy to be I'm
more than half of my life to live because the
average life expectancy is seventy eight and a half years old. So,
you know, can I see myself in my penthouse in
New York City? I hope that we have raised two
amazing kids that are now starting a life of their own.
(25:23):
I think at that point my daughter will be mid
twenties and my son would be early twenties. I hope
I'm doing something that I love, which is I've really
enjoyed my time on the Bobby Bones Show. I have
no idea of ten years from now we would still
be doing that. That would be crazy to think about
if Bobby Lunchbox and I we started together in our
(25:45):
early to mid twenties, and then at fifty one, if
we were still doing it. But I love being able
to connect with people, so still doing something along the
lines of that. What do you hope you'll be like?
If you could pick two character qualities, what do you
most hope you and body at. I hope that I
have meaningful connections with people, quality relationships, not quantity, and
(26:10):
that I've created a community with my family but also
my friends because family doesn't have to be blood. But
I want a tight knit group of people that I
feel safe with. I don't think it will take ten
years to get there. I already have some of those
people in my life, by the way, but I want
(26:32):
that to be nurtured like a plant, like I've got
it now and we just continue to add water to
it and it grows and it blooms, and there's so
many memories that we have made over the last ten years.
And I see myself hopefully taking like meaningful trips with people.
That's not something I do a lot of, Like if
I were to look into the future, how I want
(26:53):
to live and if I do and when I have
the time to do it, like really intentional trips of connection,
Like I don't know, do we do some therapy retreats somewhere,
but like with people, not alone. I've done some of
those things alone, but like with people. So I hope
I'm connected because again that part of me is something
(27:13):
that's still new, is is nurturing certain relationships that I
have and really trying to dig into them. And you know,
I hope that that, you know, we I see the
fruits of that labor in those relationships. So I'm hopeful
for that. And then who knows, Like I don't want
to push the grandma thing too soon, but if my
kids were to, hopefully they wait till they're like thirty something,
(27:38):
but who knows, maybe I'll be a grandma. Maybe Grandma'll
be twenty years twenty year goal, Yeah, maybe we'll see.
But connected and meaningful connections with people and even kind
of adventuring and life together, whether that's two places or
growth and not just doing growth on your own, but
(27:59):
with people in a connected way and a connected space.
I like that adventuring into life. I like that you
said that word, because I have not been the most
adventurous person. It's just not me. But I see that
in my future. I see more adventure. And maybe that's
because now I'm more I have more space to live,
(28:21):
I have more capacity for the living. And I think
that adventurous people have that they have a zeal for
life and when you're bogged down with lots of things,
and again, there's no shame in that if that is you.
But for me, I just had things that piled on,
piled on, piled on, and then again because the way
(28:41):
I coped and then the way I numbed it didn't
allow for much living. It actually occupied a lot of
my brain. And now that I have this free space,
it leaves room for some adventure and some excitement, for
some possibilities. And so I'm I'm not totally totally there yet,
but I can feel myself getting there, and I see
it in my future. So I'm excited to see where
(29:03):
that that takes me. That's awesome. I love it. Well, Katie,
before we go, I know those are your four questions
do you have? Which I loved them. Thank you for that.
But what is this nonprofit? So I started a nonprofit.
It's called Original Design Restored and it kind of developed
out of my own healing and growth journey. And so
we have intensives, which are three days where we have
(29:27):
a facilitated space with specific sessions that kind of take
you through. It's kind of a mixture of like the
gospel story but also personal narratives, so reflecting on your
own story and experiential learning, which is kind of learning
through doing, not learning through someone teaching you here's how
you need to heal, so kind of experiencing, Oh how
(29:47):
do I respond in this situation? Do I want to
respond that way? Do I want to change? And it's small, small,
small groups with volunteers and myself kind of facilitating growth
and healing in kind of connected but it's not therapy.
It's more just kind of processing your own story, reflecting
on your own story. So it's story work that's kind
of the category it falls in. And personal growth, and
(30:09):
we also have a podcast, and so that's like the
freeway to connect with the tools that we have where
we kind of share all the content that we do
at and intensive on our podcast, which is available as
a podcast. Well, so what is the podcast name? So
the podcast is also Original Design Restored. So either of
those you can find all of our stuff Instagram, Apple, podcast,
Spotify wherever podcasts are, and then our website as well.
(30:30):
So Original Design Restored Restored. Okay, I was just making
sure you say it's so fast, and I'm just howing
to make sure people know exactly what you're saying, Original
Design Restored. And I think that that's great. I love
hearing more about that and our listeners getting get another
tool and a resource that they can have to listen
(30:52):
to for that as they're walking through something in that connection.
And each therapist that I have worked with has been
experiential and so I think that that's huge and that's
something you could even ask if you're feeling out for therapists, like, hey,
what are some things that you do and just that
you know, one time, even my therapist had me go
stand on the side of the side of the room
(31:13):
and be like that represents me in North Carolina. Now
this is just an example, and then I would walk
over to the other side of the room and that
represents me in Nashville or whatever. But like when I'm there,
it's weird. Like if you if you do it right
and you take on, you'll take on the emotions from
that place or that state, and then you go over
and then you're physically even though you're in the same room,
(31:36):
you're just switching. But it's just a way of you
really being able to tap in and connect. And I
have enjoyed it. And of course that's just one little
tiny example. I'm sure there's a therapist to be like.
I could probably give a better example than that, but
that's one that was particularly powerful for me because it
was just literally in my living room and I was
on Zoom with my therapist and she had me walking
(31:57):
from corner to corner. And at first I was kind
of like, this is ridiculous, and then I felt it
and I was like, oh, like a lightbulb went off
and I was like, oh, I know what to do now,
because it's it's an embodied experience, you're actually experiencing something
as opposed to just taking an information. Correct. Yeah, I
love it. And there's tons of other yeah, like I said,
activities and things that I've done with beanie babies before.
(32:19):
In fact, I was even looking at a beanie baby
that one of my therapists gave me because the beanie
baby was me as a child, and I talked to
it and then she let me keep it and I
love it in my closet. So there's things like that
that make you feel really weird. In the moment, you're like,
am I really talking to a beanie baby as myself
as a child. But then the next thing, you know,
(32:40):
you're like crying as you talk to this little beanie baby,
and it's it releases so much and so you know,
I don't knock into your tryet. Yes, well, thank you
Katie for your work. I've got my son staring at me,
like let's go outside and play. And here in Nashville
today when we're recording this, the sun is out and
it is beautiful, so I'm and a go do my
(33:01):
mom thing, which I know Katie you understand, and everybody
thank you so much for listening to these episodes and
sending an emails. Katie, I'm glad you sent in an email,
especially being a new Ish listener only of like six
months or so and shout out to Cat's podcast You
need Therapy. That is how we got linked up. You
(33:22):
even found my podcast through that, so that's just super special,
especially her being on my podcast network. I love That's
full circle. And four Things with Amy Brown at gmail
dot com is where you can send in an email
if you would like to be like Katie and lead
one of these listener Q and A episodes. So, Katie,
(33:43):
any final thoughts, No, I think just maybe one is
everyone be brave if you need to take a step
of growth. Might need to quote you on the fifth thing,
go for it, Cat and I always do a quote
at the beginning, so why don't you say it again. Okay,
so everyone be brave. If you need to take a
step of growth, be brave. It is scary, Yeah, I
remember taking that first step in some days it's going
(34:04):
to be easier than others, but it truly is going
to be one of the best things for you if
you can muster up the courage to do it and
stay the course. Thank you, Katie. Yeah, it's great to
be here.
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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