If you want to stop taking things personally, work on your limiting beliefs, avoid mosquitos, improve your self-tanner game and/or meditation, Amy is covering it all this week. In the FIRST THING she has a homework assignment that her friend Leanne Ellington gave her to rewire her brain. You’re going to want to try this exercise if you’d like to move past any limiting beliefs. For the SECOND THING Amy goes over a list of things she often gets questions about (like her favorite self-tanner) and things she’s loving right now (like her new Abercrombie coated black jeans). This is all stuff Amy buys with her own money and she’s sharing because you have asked or she just thinks you’ll love. Everything is linked below. In the THIRD THING Amy talks about common blocks regarding your career & she gives you mantras that will help you stop taking things personally. The FOURTH THING is like inception!! It’s 4 little random things inside the 4th thing: the scent you really need to be wearing to repel mosquitos, covering webcams to avoid hackers, reframing meditation and a new podcast you should check out!
Tanceuticals Self Tanning Mousse (Dark)
James Read Tan H2O Tan Mist Face Gradual Tan
ZO Skin Health (Regimen Finder)
Kitsch Shower Cap (Black & White Striped with Bow)
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Okay, cats up little food for yourself life. Oh it's
pretty bad. Hey, it's pretty beautiful, beautiful that for a
little mouth. It's exciting, said, he can cut. You're kicking
(00:30):
with four Thing with Amy.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Brown, Happy Thursday.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Four Things Amy here, and I've got a random four
Things episode for you. The feedback is, y'all want more
of these types of episode where each thing is different.
And for the first thing, I don't know, I feel
like you might want to take some notes because my
friend Leanne sent me this activity. Actually she was at
my house and she gave me homework, but we're not
(00:55):
calling it that because she's my friend. She's not my teacher,
although I do see her as someone that is very
wise and she's a guide and a coach to other people.
So hey, why not We'll call it homework for the
sake of this, because now it could be homework for you,
and you may want to take notes so you can
do what she's saying and do it correctly. But for
the second thing and a minute, I'm going to list
(01:17):
out a bunch of things that I'm loving lately. And
there are also things that I get asked about a lot,
like my favorite self tanner because it's warmer weather and
you want some more color on your skin, but you
don't want to look orange or you don't want it
to smell weird. I have the best self tanner. I
do not go out into the sun. If I do,
I have on a lot of spfs. If you ever
see color on my skin, it is self tanner. I
(01:39):
get spray tands from time to time, but more often
than not, I am the one applying it at home.
So I'll tell you how I do that, and you
won't need to take notes for that, because I'm going
to link everything in the show notes. Again, this is
stuff I buy with my own money. I'm just sharing
with you because these are things that I like and
I get asked about. Then for the third thing, well
(02:01):
that might be something else you want to take notes on,
and then you know, we'll get into the fourth thing.
But but back to what I want to share with
you now. From Leanne. She was at my house and
I was telling her about some of my limiting beliefs.
I just can't get past some of them. I guess
I shouldn't say can't. I am working on getting past them,
(02:21):
and she recommended that I do past present, future, gratitude
and celebration journaling, and we were sitting on my back
porch just talking. I didn't take notes when she was
explaining to me what to do, and I always want
to do things the right way. So I sent her
a text asking her to break down exactly what to journal,
(02:41):
and I didn't know she was going to reply with
a full explanation and voice text, but I appreciated the
detail because, well, now I can just play it for you.
I asked Leanne if that was okay, by the way,
and she said yes. And I've done this journal prompt
this little homework assignment several times now and I am
loving it. Before I play her explaining it all, I
(03:02):
want you to know that there's science to back this up.
There's a reason Leanne was telling me to do this.
So I started researching more about celebrating things and I
pulled this up from a Harvard Business Review. Celebrating stimulates
dopamine release in the brain, the feel good chemical that
reinforces the learning experience and strengthens our sense of connection
(03:24):
to our purpose, to what we are doing and what Leanne.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Hopes for me.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Because well, she knows the science and she knows what's
going to happen if I continue this practice, as I
will build new neuro pathways, I will rewire my brain
and in turn get rid of some of these limiting
beliefs that I'm trying to work through. All Right, here's
Lianne's breakdown of how to do the homework she gave me.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Hey, Amy, so just kind of reinforcing what we talked
about at your house. And you know, the way I
describe it to my clients is that you know, our
brain are so wired to look for what we're not doing,
and who we're not being, and what we don't like
and what we don't have, that that becomes the neural wiring.
So you know, what I shared with you and what
I'll kind of walk you through again is it's not
(04:14):
about the doing. It's not about getting this air quotes right.
It's about little by little, day by day, just teaching
your brain to start looking for what you do have
and what you do like and what is working, and
to just start seeding in reality the version of yourself.
Speaker 5 (04:29):
That you want to become.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
And so kind of, like I was sharing with you,
this lays down the fertile soil for all of the
self imaging and beliefs work that I do with my clients.
So the way that I share it with them is
just it's past, present and future for both. But it's
past present and future gratitude or thankfulness and then past
(04:52):
present future, you know, celebrating yourself or bragging on yourself
or self endorsement as I call it, which is nonine
times and attend the hardest part.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
For most of my clients to do. But so the
beauty of it is and.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
I'll just kind of walk you through with the past,
present and future, the past based stuff. It's the perfect
way to take anything that we have in our brain
about ourselves or our experiences that maybe there's some leftover
resent or remorse or regret or cognitive dissonance or shame,
and it allows us to reframe it.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
Right.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
So one of the examples I shared with you is
I was like, you know, thank you to my disorder
needing because it showed me that there was finally something
bigger that I needed to heal and that I wasn't
willing to put a band aid on anymore.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
And thank you to all.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Those failed attempts because it showed me that they weren't
the right thing for me. They weren't sustainable, and again
it shined a light on the work that really needed
to be done right. So you can literally like go
back and rewrite your past and not in a you know,
roses and butterflies kind of way, in a way that
resonates with you present is pretty self explanatory. And then
the future based stuff is where you know, again we're
(06:01):
not looking at it like we're a magic genie or
we're waving a magic wand we want to really just
see the reality of what we're stepping into. So, for example,
my clients are like, you know, thank you in advance
for the work working, thank you in advance for finally
feeling and knowing my worth. Thank you in advance for
the food freedom that's coming to me. And they're literally
(06:22):
just seating it in advance. Okay, So that's the gratitude
side of it. And then the celebrating yourself, bragging on yourself,
recognizing yourself, acknowledging yourself. Again, that's usually the hardest part
for my clients because maybe they have a connotation of
this is bragging or this is cocky or condescending or whatever,
but no, it's just it's knowing like your worth and
acknowledging it and shining a light on what's good. So
(06:46):
celebrating and again there might be crossover between what you're
grateful for and what you're celebrating, so past, present and future.
Again it allows you to kind of step into filling
that gap of.
Speaker 5 (06:56):
Where you might have some residual shame.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
So you know, celebrating the resilience that it took for
me to withstand you know, treating my body like crap
all those years and how strong I was, and celebrating how,
you know, the resilience I had in my head and
my heart through all of those times or whatever it is, right,
And I'm just kind of you know, thinking of examples
that could could be for anybody. But the more your
(07:19):
brain loves specificity, right, the more specific the better. Again,
present is going to be a little bit more self explanatory,
and then.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
The future this is where it's about really seeding into.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Reality what you're walking into or what you've declared, you know,
So thank you in advance, or celebrating myself in advance
for becoming the version of myself who actually believes in herself,
you know, for me, I shared this with you. Before
I met my fiance, I was like, thank you God
in advance for you know.
Speaker 5 (07:46):
The perfect person for me, the perfect partner for me.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
He's doing the work on himself and preparing himself for me,
you know, and my clients, you know, celebrating in advance
the freedom that I'm going to have from these chains
of shame and self criticism and the food freedom that
I'm going to get from the diet mentality, and just
celebrating themselves. Right, and again, it's not about doing it
air quotes, right, It's about teaching your brain to go,
(08:10):
you know, in the direction that it's used to, which
is constantly looking for what you're not doing and who
you're not being and what's not working, what you don't have.
And that's what I think a lot of us get
wired to just kind of you know, be programmed to
think about and shifting it every single day, just laying
down new pathways of who you are being, what you
are doing, what is working, celebrating yourself acknowledging and they're
two different, you know, ways of thinking in the brain
(08:31):
and really seeding that as a new skill.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
So hope that's helpful.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Let me know if you have any questions and we
will just keep the conversation going.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Right, So there you go, shout out Leanne Ellington. I
don't think I said her last name earlier, but that's
Leanne Ellington. She is so wise and I'm very thankful
for that activity. I'm going to do it as much
as I need to so that I can rewire these
parts of my brain, and I hope that it's helpful
for some of you too. S all right, let's get
(09:04):
started on the recommendations that I have for you. Now.
The most common question I feel like I get from people,
either if I see them in person or on Instagram
or by email, is what is my favorite self tanner?
And actually, if I really think about it, my most
common question is my skincare routine. And I've mentioned it
many times here before. I'm a Zeo user, but my
(09:26):
routine is so specific to me that it might not
be exactly what you need or someone else may need.
But something cool that is on the Zeo website is
a regimen finder, so you can actually answer questions about
your skin and it'll match you with the products that
could be best for you. You just have to go to
zoskinhealth dot com and click on regimen Finder. Carrie, who
(09:50):
is at the Nashville Beauty Girl on Instagram. She got
me on Zo years ago and she used to do
virtual consults for a lot of you, but I think
she got too booked up at the moment those which
is amazing for her, and if she brings those back,
I'll definitely let y'all know. But back to my favorite
self tanner. My go to for a while now has
been tan Suticals. It's a tanning body moose and the
(10:14):
color I use is dark.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
I have very pale skin.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Sometimes people are surprised because it looks very natural the
tanner does, and I feel like this is one of
the best brands for me, and I've tried a lot.
I always apply it with the MIT. You don't have
to purchase the MITT if you don't want to, but
I recommend adding it to your cart because it's just
so helpful and you can't totally avoid the self tanner smell.
(10:40):
It's in all of them, but this one, I guess
smells better than any other that I've used. And the
moose blends easily, it dries quickly. It's got a color
tint to it so you can see exactly where you're
applying it, and it's not sticky as long as you
don't overapply, Like I'll do one coat one evening, and
then another coat the following evening if I'm trying to
(11:03):
achieve an even darker look, because in my opinion, it's
better to build on it than to put too much
on in one night. That's when you run the risk
of it getting sticky. And then this is where I
have another product for my face, because this is where
I add in something else for tanning, totally different brand.
It's not tan Suiticles, it's James Red and it's the
(11:26):
h Twoo Tan mist So Tan Suiticals for the body,
and then James Reid for the face. And it's in
a little spray bottle and you hold it about eight
inches or so away from your face and then evenly spray.
I normally do one round and let it sit for
a second or put the blow dryer on my face,
and then I do another round and those items will
(11:49):
be linked together. But I was at a hair appointment
the other day and my hair person said something like
did I go to the beach or had it been
in the sun, And I said, no.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
My face is so Pale.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
I just did my James Reed spray last night and
it was so fresh, and she was like, Wow, that
looks really really natural, And I sent her the link
and she's going to likely order it so onto the
next thing. And you're probably going to think it's pretty
random because it's a it's a shower cap. And I
put this on here because I went years not investing
(12:23):
in a good shower cap.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I would just use those free ones.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
That were at the hotel, like in the little toiletree.
Stuff would just be like a cheap, a little plastic one,
and I would reuse it over and over and then
when i'd go stay to a hotel, I'd get a
new one. But investing in a good shower cap is
a game changer. And my most recent purchase is a
Kitch shower cap. I got the black and white striped one.
It's got a cute little bow on the front, and
(12:47):
I knew it would be good because this shower cap
has eight thousand, seven hundred of views on Amazon and
four point five out of five stars when it comes
to the rating. I got one for me and for Stashira.
My other one was falling apart, so I'm so glad
I found this one. It's definitely a keeper, and the
Kitch brand is good in general. I have their satin pillowcases,
(13:08):
and I used to sleep on cotton pillowcases my whole life.
But the satin or the silk, whichever one you choose,
is a total game changer. I even travel with my pillowcase,
if I remember. I actually took one to Austin last weekend,
put it on my hotel pillow and then I was
leaving in such a hurry that I left it there
and I'm so bummed, so enough to order another one.
(13:29):
But I pulled why satin or silk is better for
you from the Kitch website, and you don't even have
to get the Kitch brand. There are several brands that
make this. You can even just go to Amazon and
read reviews if you want to. But using a satin
pillowcase promotes healthy hair by allowing it to retain your
hair's natural oils. It reduces dryness, breakage, and tangles. Similarly,
(13:51):
silk pillowcases do not absorb moisture, so your skin stays
hydrated while you sleep. Both silk and satin materials are
so soft that they allow you face to glide smoothly
against the pillowcase, helping to keep fragile eyelashes and eyebrows
intact while also reducing friction that can cause lines and
wrinkles on your skin. So boom that all of that
(14:13):
right there is worth investing in a silk or satin
pillow case. Now my next thing I also took to
Austin with me, but I did not leave them there.
It's a new pair of genes that I got from Abercrombie.
They're the Ultra high Rise nineties Slim Straight gene. There
are a lot of color options. I have some in denim,
but the most recent ones that I bought and took
(14:34):
to Austin are coated black with a vent him and
I wore them out on Friday night. I got several compliments.
And the thing is they look like leather, but they're not.
They are a coated dinim. Now, another cool part about
these genes is they have different lengths so you don't
have to get them hemmed likely. They have short, regular, long,
(14:57):
and extra long, and I ordered the regular, and I
really think I should have gotten the long. I didn't
really read the reviews, and had I I would have
known to get the long because I'm five to six,
but I got the regular. They seemed a little bit short,
but I still wore them with a pair of heels
and they seemed fine. But now I'm regretting not getting
the long. But anyway, you can just read the reviews
(15:20):
decide which ones are gonna be good for you. And
they have this cream with leather details color that I
just saw on their website when I was pulling info
for y'all, and I now have the urge.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
To order those because they look so cool.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
The next thing on my list is Spearlina, and this
particular brand is the best deal that I've ever found.
When it arrived from Amazon, I was like, oh my gosh,
this jug is huge.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Zazi is the brand.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
I don't even know how to say it, but it's
z a zz Ee and it's an organic Spearleina powder,
and Spearlina is a blue green algae if you're not
familiar with it. It's got vitamins and mineral antioxidants, a
little bit of protein, and it's good for your body.
I don't really love, love love the taste. It's very interesting,
(16:09):
so I always add it to my smoothies and I
don't really notice it. I have put it in an
oatmeal before, but that weirded me out because it turned
my oatmeal green and then it had a odd taste.
But I know people added to all kinds of things, salads,
It's really up to you. But smoothies is the best
experience for me, and I saw that. Forbes literally just
(16:31):
had an article the other day sharing all of the
health benefits of spearleina according to experts, So you could
google that and go read all about it and Forbes.
But in like one teaspoon, you're getting so many health benefits.
But just like with any supplement, I'm obviously not a doctor,
and I know that if you're on blood thinners, for example,
(16:54):
spearleina is not recommended to take, so just make sure
you do some research depending on other things you might
be taking or whatever's going on with your body. I
guess the same would apply to this next thing I'm
going to recommend, which is the calm gummies that I'm
obsessed with. I used to take the calm powder and
I still have that, but the gummies are just like
(17:15):
a nice little treat for me. I look forward to them,
and they're the magnesium gummies. The raspberry Lemon flavor is
the only one I've tried. I don't know if the
other ones are good. I take four of them almost
every night. They have a flavor that has melatonin in them,
but me and melatonin we.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Don't go well together. We don't mix.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
I do not like melatonin at all whatsoever. So I
stick to the raspberry Lemon flavor. And then my final suggestion,
at least for today, is a candle that I found
on Amazon. I ordered one originally, and I've ordered four
more since then. You can buy it single or in
the double pack. But what I found is you save
a little bit of money by buying the double pack,
(17:58):
which is why I ended up with I really was
only trying to get three, but then I was like, ah,
I'll just keep an extra one at my house, or
keep it in my gifting drawer, which if you don't
have a gifting drawer, that's just if you've got things
that are really good gifts for people, you can go
ahead and buy stuff in advance that you know that
you would enjoy giving to a friend or you think
(18:18):
that someone would like it, and then if someone's birthday
rolls around, you're not like, oh, I have to go
find something. You can go to your gift drawer and
pick them out a gift of predetermined things that you
put in there that you know you would want to
gift to someone. This candle is the Lulu candle. The
flavor is spiced vanilla, and it says in the description
(18:41):
it's a luxury scented soy jar candle hand poured in
the USA.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
It's highly scented and long lasting.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
There's over five thousand reviews, four point three out of
five stars. And I love the smell and it really
does have a high scent. When it says it's highly
sent I feel like it's a soy candle that when
it's burning, I can actually tell it's burning because you know,
you probably bought some soy candles I have, or you
go home and you light them and you smell literally nothing,
(19:11):
and you're like, Okay, that was a waste of money.
So Lulu Candles where it's at. Again. Everything I've shared
is linked in the show notes. If you have other
things you'd like to know about, you can email me
four things with Amy Brown at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Here we got thirding.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
So there's four common blocks regarding your career, one being
you have work success addiction and you're burning out, another
one being you think that there's not enough to go around,
another one you feel guilt over earning for your work,
and then the final one you take things too personally
(20:00):
when you shouldn't. And that final one is what I'm
going to focus on because I feel like I often
can do that, and especially in the workplace, we need
to get past it. Another one I would like to
just go back and spend a second on is you
feel guilt over earning for your work. And I feel
this in a big way when you're having to present
(20:20):
a price to someone. Maybe, I mean, if you're on salary,
it's one thing, but then if you have other opportunities
where someone is hiring you for something else and they're like, hey,
send me your rates for me, the first thing I
do is like, oh, I don't want to send something
too much. But then if I know that I've gotten
that before, or I know that that's my value and
that's my worth and they're willing to pay it, then
(20:42):
that is what my price is and I should not
fear sending that knowing that that's my worth. And I
just want to encourage you if you're having to come
up with a price for something and charge for something
like people also want to know that you believe in
yourself and that they're getting a service or a good product,
and they want to invest in that. Sometimes people actually
(21:06):
their brain might be like, oh, well this one is
a little bit more, so it might be better. So
I'm actually gonna get that or hire that person because
clearly this price means they might be better. So just
don't underestimate yourself when it comes to money and what
you deserve, and don't feel that guilt over earning for
your hard work. Now back to taking things personally when
(21:29):
you shouldn't. I have some mantras to share with you
that'll hopefully stop you from taking things too personally. You
might not be able to control all the things people
say and do to you, but you can decide not
to be continuously distracted by them today.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Or there's this one.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
You can't take things too personally, even if it seems personal.
Rarely do people do things because of you. They do
things because of them. Remember, calmness is a superpowerbility to
not overreact or take things too personally. It keeps your
mind clear and your heart at peace, which ultimately gives
you the upper hand.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
There.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Truly is a huge amount of freedom that comes to
you when you detach from other people's beliefs and behaviors.
The way people treat you is their problem. How you
react is your problem. Being kind to someone you dislike
doesn't mean you're fake. It means you're mature enough to
control your emotions. So be kind and remind yourself that
people are generally kinder when they are happier, which says
(22:32):
a whole lot about the people you meet who aren't
so kind to you.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
So there you go.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
You got a handful of mantras that you can keep
in your back pocket for when you need them if
you're taking things to personally, or you're having a disconnect
with someone in your life, or maybe even at work.
And really the big one for me that stood out
is rarely do people do things because of you. They
do things because of them, And a lot of times
(22:57):
we make it about ourselves.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
When we shouldn't do that at all.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Now, those mantras were from markandangel dot com, but I
also have a list from my friend.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
She texted them to me.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
She said, Hey, my therapist gave me these mantras yesterday.
I think you might like them, and so I'll just
run through them real quick. It's okay to relax and
enjoy myself. I am okay when I make mistakes. I
am learning not to take myself so seriously. I am
perfect just the way I am. I will ask for
what I need and want. Now, those aren't necessarily related
(23:32):
to not taking things too personally, but they are mantras
that maybe you need to hear and that you can use,
and I particularly need to work on.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
I will ask for what I need and want.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
That one's difficult to do, except for I don't want
to speak negatively. I will say that one is one
that I need to start practicing so that I get
better at it, instead of saying that it's difficult.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Am all right?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
To wrap things up?
Speaker 3 (24:08):
I have four things that you might want to know about. One,
studies are showing that the smell of coconut might be
best at repelling mosquitoes. So if you're like me and
mosquitoes love you, I've already had my first couple of
bites of the season, and I know I've got like
thousands of more coming my way. Well, we just need
to stock up on all things coconut, because that is
(24:32):
supposed to, according to new research, repel mosquitoes more than citronella.
Speaker 5 (24:38):
All right.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Two, Are you actually at risk of someone hacking or
spying on you if you don't cover your webcam or
your computer? And sometimes I do freak out about this,
just not all the time, and it's not a likely
thing that's going to happen, but apparently it is possible.
Thirty five percent of people do cover their webcams, which
is definitely more than I would have guessed. But it's
(25:00):
better safe than sorry. And occasionally, when I do get
paranoid about it, I just stick a post it note
over the camera so that I can easily remove it
if I need to hop on a zoom or something.
Speaker 5 (25:10):
Three.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
If you want to try meditation but it seems intimidating,
experts say, try reframing it. Think of it as a
way to slow down for a few minutes. Just breathe,
do yoga, stretch, go for a walk, be with nature
while doing your chores. Focus on all the things you're
grateful for. These are all things that will reduce stress
and calm the nervous system, just like actual meditation and
(25:34):
then you can ease yourself into an actual practice. Four.
I got a new podcast announcement for you. It's called
Soul Sessions with Amanda Rica Green. Maybe you've heard Amanda
on the Bobby Bone Show. We call her my psychic cousin.
She's also joined me here on Four Things a couple
of times. And if you're interested in finding inspiration, engaging
your innate abilities, and awakening your soul's highest potential, well
(25:58):
listen to Soul Sessions. Amanda will take listeners through life's
ebbs and flows by sharing her insights, her tools, and
her resources. She'll also have guests on for moving discussions,
dynamic live readings, Q and a's, and more. And Amana
is going to have a new episode that goes up
every Wednesday. So if that sounds interesting to you, definitely
(26:21):
check it out again. It's called Soul Sessions with Amanda
Rieger Green, and I'm very.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Proud of her.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
All Right, I hope y'all are having the day that
you need to have. And on Saturday there will be
a new Outweigh episode that goes up, and then Kat
and I will be back with you on Tuesday for
the Fifth Thing.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Bye.
Okay, cats up little food for yourself life. Oh it's
pretty bad. Hey, it's pretty beautiful, beautiful that for a
little mouth. It's exciting, said, he can cut. You're kicking
(00:30):
with four Thing with Amy.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Brown, Happy Thursday.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Four Things Amy here, and I've got a random four
Things episode for you. The feedback is, y'all want more
of these types of episode where each thing is different.
And for the first thing, I don't know, I feel
like you might want to take some notes because my
friend Leanne sent me this activity. Actually she was at
my house and she gave me homework, but we're not
(00:55):
calling it that because she's my friend. She's not my teacher,
although I do see her as someone that is very
wise and she's a guide and a coach to other people.
So hey, why not We'll call it homework for the
sake of this, because now it could be homework for you,
and you may want to take notes so you can
do what she's saying and do it correctly. But for
the second thing and a minute, I'm going to list
(01:17):
out a bunch of things that I'm loving lately. And
there are also things that I get asked about a lot,
like my favorite self tanner because it's warmer weather and
you want some more color on your skin, but you
don't want to look orange or you don't want it
to smell weird. I have the best self tanner. I
do not go out into the sun. If I do,
I have on a lot of spfs. If you ever
see color on my skin, it is self tanner. I
(01:39):
get spray tands from time to time, but more often
than not, I am the one applying it at home.
So I'll tell you how I do that, and you
won't need to take notes for that, because I'm going
to link everything in the show notes. Again, this is
stuff I buy with my own money. I'm just sharing
with you because these are things that I like and
I get asked about. Then for the third thing, well
(02:01):
that might be something else you want to take notes on,
and then you know, we'll get into the fourth thing.
But but back to what I want to share with
you now. From Leanne. She was at my house and
I was telling her about some of my limiting beliefs.
I just can't get past some of them. I guess
I shouldn't say can't. I am working on getting past them,
(02:21):
and she recommended that I do past present, future, gratitude
and celebration journaling, and we were sitting on my back
porch just talking. I didn't take notes when she was
explaining to me what to do, and I always want
to do things the right way. So I sent her
a text asking her to break down exactly what to journal,
(02:41):
and I didn't know she was going to reply with
a full explanation and voice text, but I appreciated the
detail because, well, now I can just play it for you.
I asked Leanne if that was okay, by the way,
and she said yes. And I've done this journal prompt
this little homework assignment several times now and I am
loving it. Before I play her explaining it all, I
(03:02):
want you to know that there's science to back this up.
There's a reason Leanne was telling me to do this.
So I started researching more about celebrating things and I
pulled this up from a Harvard Business Review. Celebrating stimulates
dopamine release in the brain, the feel good chemical that
reinforces the learning experience and strengthens our sense of connection
(03:24):
to our purpose, to what we are doing and what Leanne.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Hopes for me.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Because well, she knows the science and she knows what's
going to happen if I continue this practice, as I
will build new neuro pathways, I will rewire my brain
and in turn get rid of some of these limiting
beliefs that I'm trying to work through. All Right, here's
Lianne's breakdown of how to do the homework she gave me.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Hey, Amy, so just kind of reinforcing what we talked
about at your house. And you know, the way I
describe it to my clients is that you know, our
brain are so wired to look for what we're not doing,
and who we're not being, and what we don't like
and what we don't have, that that becomes the neural wiring.
So you know, what I shared with you and what
I'll kind of walk you through again is it's not
(04:14):
about the doing. It's not about getting this air quotes right.
It's about little by little, day by day, just teaching
your brain to start looking for what you do have
and what you do like and what is working, and
to just start seeding in reality the version of yourself.
Speaker 5 (04:29):
That you want to become.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
And so kind of, like I was sharing with you,
this lays down the fertile soil for all of the
self imaging and beliefs work that I do with my clients.
So the way that I share it with them is
just it's past, present and future for both. But it's
past present and future gratitude or thankfulness and then past
(04:52):
present future, you know, celebrating yourself or bragging on yourself
or self endorsement as I call it, which is nonine
times and attend the hardest part.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
For most of my clients to do. But so the
beauty of it is and.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
I'll just kind of walk you through with the past,
present and future, the past based stuff. It's the perfect
way to take anything that we have in our brain
about ourselves or our experiences that maybe there's some leftover
resent or remorse or regret or cognitive dissonance or shame,
and it allows us to reframe it.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
Right.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
So one of the examples I shared with you is
I was like, you know, thank you to my disorder
needing because it showed me that there was finally something
bigger that I needed to heal and that I wasn't
willing to put a band aid on anymore.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
And thank you to all.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Those failed attempts because it showed me that they weren't
the right thing for me. They weren't sustainable, and again
it shined a light on the work that really needed
to be done right. So you can literally like go
back and rewrite your past and not in a you know,
roses and butterflies kind of way, in a way that
resonates with you present is pretty self explanatory. And then
the future based stuff is where you know, again we're
(06:01):
not looking at it like we're a magic genie or
we're waving a magic wand we want to really just
see the reality of what we're stepping into. So, for example,
my clients are like, you know, thank you in advance
for the work working, thank you in advance for finally
feeling and knowing my worth. Thank you in advance for
the food freedom that's coming to me. And they're literally
(06:22):
just seating it in advance. Okay, So that's the gratitude
side of it. And then the celebrating yourself, bragging on yourself,
recognizing yourself, acknowledging yourself. Again, that's usually the hardest part
for my clients because maybe they have a connotation of
this is bragging or this is cocky or condescending or whatever,
but no, it's just it's knowing like your worth and
acknowledging it and shining a light on what's good. So
(06:46):
celebrating and again there might be crossover between what you're
grateful for and what you're celebrating, so past, present and future.
Again it allows you to kind of step into filling
that gap of.
Speaker 5 (06:56):
Where you might have some residual shame.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
So you know, celebrating the resilience that it took for
me to withstand you know, treating my body like crap
all those years and how strong I was, and celebrating how,
you know, the resilience I had in my head and
my heart through all of those times or whatever it is, right,
And I'm just kind of you know, thinking of examples
that could could be for anybody. But the more your
(07:19):
brain loves specificity, right, the more specific the better. Again,
present is going to be a little bit more self explanatory,
and then.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
The future this is where it's about really seeding into.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Reality what you're walking into or what you've declared, you know,
So thank you in advance, or celebrating myself in advance
for becoming the version of myself who actually believes in herself,
you know, for me, I shared this with you. Before
I met my fiance, I was like, thank you God
in advance for you know.
Speaker 5 (07:46):
The perfect person for me, the perfect partner for me.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
He's doing the work on himself and preparing himself for me,
you know, and my clients, you know, celebrating in advance
the freedom that I'm going to have from these chains
of shame and self criticism and the food freedom that
I'm going to get from the diet mentality, and just
celebrating themselves. Right, and again, it's not about doing it
air quotes, right, It's about teaching your brain to go,
(08:10):
you know, in the direction that it's used to, which
is constantly looking for what you're not doing and who
you're not being and what's not working, what you don't have.
And that's what I think a lot of us get
wired to just kind of you know, be programmed to
think about and shifting it every single day, just laying
down new pathways of who you are being, what you
are doing, what is working, celebrating yourself acknowledging and they're
two different, you know, ways of thinking in the brain
(08:31):
and really seeding that as a new skill.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
So hope that's helpful.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Let me know if you have any questions and we
will just keep the conversation going.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Right, So there you go, shout out Leanne Ellington. I
don't think I said her last name earlier, but that's
Leanne Ellington. She is so wise and I'm very thankful
for that activity. I'm going to do it as much
as I need to so that I can rewire these
parts of my brain, and I hope that it's helpful
for some of you too. S all right, let's get
(09:04):
started on the recommendations that I have for you. Now.
The most common question I feel like I get from people,
either if I see them in person or on Instagram
or by email, is what is my favorite self tanner?
And actually, if I really think about it, my most
common question is my skincare routine. And I've mentioned it
many times here before. I'm a Zeo user, but my
(09:26):
routine is so specific to me that it might not
be exactly what you need or someone else may need.
But something cool that is on the Zeo website is
a regimen finder, so you can actually answer questions about
your skin and it'll match you with the products that
could be best for you. You just have to go to
zoskinhealth dot com and click on regimen Finder. Carrie, who
(09:50):
is at the Nashville Beauty Girl on Instagram. She got
me on Zo years ago and she used to do
virtual consults for a lot of you, but I think
she got too booked up at the moment those which
is amazing for her, and if she brings those back,
I'll definitely let y'all know. But back to my favorite
self tanner. My go to for a while now has
been tan Suticals. It's a tanning body moose and the
(10:14):
color I use is dark.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
I have very pale skin.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Sometimes people are surprised because it looks very natural the
tanner does, and I feel like this is one of
the best brands for me, and I've tried a lot.
I always apply it with the MIT. You don't have
to purchase the MITT if you don't want to, but
I recommend adding it to your cart because it's just
so helpful and you can't totally avoid the self tanner smell.
(10:40):
It's in all of them, but this one, I guess
smells better than any other that I've used. And the
moose blends easily, it dries quickly. It's got a color
tint to it so you can see exactly where you're
applying it, and it's not sticky as long as you
don't overapply, Like I'll do one coat one evening, and
then another coat the following evening if I'm trying to
(11:03):
achieve an even darker look, because in my opinion, it's
better to build on it than to put too much
on in one night. That's when you run the risk
of it getting sticky. And then this is where I
have another product for my face, because this is where
I add in something else for tanning, totally different brand.
It's not tan Suiticles, it's James Red and it's the
(11:26):
h Twoo Tan mist So Tan Suiticals for the body,
and then James Reid for the face. And it's in
a little spray bottle and you hold it about eight
inches or so away from your face and then evenly spray.
I normally do one round and let it sit for
a second or put the blow dryer on my face,
and then I do another round and those items will
(11:49):
be linked together. But I was at a hair appointment
the other day and my hair person said something like
did I go to the beach or had it been
in the sun, And I said, no.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
My face is so Pale.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
I just did my James Reed spray last night and
it was so fresh, and she was like, Wow, that
looks really really natural, And I sent her the link
and she's going to likely order it so onto the
next thing. And you're probably going to think it's pretty
random because it's a it's a shower cap. And I
put this on here because I went years not investing
(12:23):
in a good shower cap.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I would just use those free ones.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
That were at the hotel, like in the little toiletree.
Stuff would just be like a cheap, a little plastic one,
and I would reuse it over and over and then
when i'd go stay to a hotel, I'd get a
new one. But investing in a good shower cap is
a game changer. And my most recent purchase is a
Kitch shower cap. I got the black and white striped one.
It's got a cute little bow on the front, and
(12:47):
I knew it would be good because this shower cap
has eight thousand, seven hundred of views on Amazon and
four point five out of five stars when it comes
to the rating. I got one for me and for Stashira.
My other one was falling apart, so I'm so glad
I found this one. It's definitely a keeper, and the
Kitch brand is good in general. I have their satin pillowcases,
(13:08):
and I used to sleep on cotton pillowcases my whole life.
But the satin or the silk, whichever one you choose,
is a total game changer. I even travel with my pillowcase,
if I remember. I actually took one to Austin last weekend,
put it on my hotel pillow and then I was
leaving in such a hurry that I left it there
and I'm so bummed, so enough to order another one.
(13:29):
But I pulled why satin or silk is better for
you from the Kitch website, and you don't even have
to get the Kitch brand. There are several brands that
make this. You can even just go to Amazon and
read reviews if you want to. But using a satin
pillowcase promotes healthy hair by allowing it to retain your
hair's natural oils. It reduces dryness, breakage, and tangles. Similarly,
(13:51):
silk pillowcases do not absorb moisture, so your skin stays
hydrated while you sleep. Both silk and satin materials are
so soft that they allow you face to glide smoothly
against the pillowcase, helping to keep fragile eyelashes and eyebrows
intact while also reducing friction that can cause lines and
wrinkles on your skin. So boom that all of that
(14:13):
right there is worth investing in a silk or satin
pillow case. Now my next thing I also took to
Austin with me, but I did not leave them there.
It's a new pair of genes that I got from Abercrombie.
They're the Ultra high Rise nineties Slim Straight gene. There
are a lot of color options. I have some in denim,
but the most recent ones that I bought and took
(14:34):
to Austin are coated black with a vent him and
I wore them out on Friday night. I got several compliments.
And the thing is they look like leather, but they're not.
They are a coated dinim. Now, another cool part about
these genes is they have different lengths so you don't
have to get them hemmed likely. They have short, regular, long,
(14:57):
and extra long, and I ordered the regular, and I
really think I should have gotten the long. I didn't
really read the reviews, and had I I would have
known to get the long because I'm five to six,
but I got the regular. They seemed a little bit short,
but I still wore them with a pair of heels
and they seemed fine. But now I'm regretting not getting
the long. But anyway, you can just read the reviews
(15:20):
decide which ones are gonna be good for you. And
they have this cream with leather details color that I
just saw on their website when I was pulling info
for y'all, and I now have the urge.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
To order those because they look so cool.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
The next thing on my list is Spearlina, and this
particular brand is the best deal that I've ever found.
When it arrived from Amazon, I was like, oh my gosh,
this jug is huge.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Zazi is the brand.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
I don't even know how to say it, but it's
z a zz Ee and it's an organic Spearleina powder,
and Spearlina is a blue green algae if you're not
familiar with it. It's got vitamins and mineral antioxidants, a
little bit of protein, and it's good for your body.
I don't really love, love love the taste. It's very interesting,
(16:09):
so I always add it to my smoothies and I
don't really notice it. I have put it in an
oatmeal before, but that weirded me out because it turned
my oatmeal green and then it had a odd taste.
But I know people added to all kinds of things, salads,
It's really up to you. But smoothies is the best
experience for me, and I saw that. Forbes literally just
(16:31):
had an article the other day sharing all of the
health benefits of spearleina according to experts, So you could
google that and go read all about it and Forbes.
But in like one teaspoon, you're getting so many health benefits.
But just like with any supplement, I'm obviously not a doctor,
and I know that if you're on blood thinners, for example,
(16:54):
spearleina is not recommended to take, so just make sure
you do some research depending on other things you might
be taking or whatever's going on with your body. I
guess the same would apply to this next thing I'm
going to recommend, which is the calm gummies that I'm
obsessed with. I used to take the calm powder and
I still have that, but the gummies are just like
(17:15):
a nice little treat for me. I look forward to them,
and they're the magnesium gummies. The raspberry Lemon flavor is
the only one I've tried. I don't know if the
other ones are good. I take four of them almost
every night. They have a flavor that has melatonin in them,
but me and melatonin we.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Don't go well together. We don't mix.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
I do not like melatonin at all whatsoever. So I
stick to the raspberry Lemon flavor. And then my final suggestion,
at least for today, is a candle that I found
on Amazon. I ordered one originally, and I've ordered four
more since then. You can buy it single or in
the double pack. But what I found is you save
a little bit of money by buying the double pack,
(17:58):
which is why I ended up with I really was
only trying to get three, but then I was like, ah,
I'll just keep an extra one at my house, or
keep it in my gifting drawer, which if you don't
have a gifting drawer, that's just if you've got things
that are really good gifts for people, you can go
ahead and buy stuff in advance that you know that
you would enjoy giving to a friend or you think
(18:18):
that someone would like it, and then if someone's birthday
rolls around, you're not like, oh, I have to go
find something. You can go to your gift drawer and
pick them out a gift of predetermined things that you
put in there that you know you would want to
gift to someone. This candle is the Lulu candle. The
flavor is spiced vanilla, and it says in the description
(18:41):
it's a luxury scented soy jar candle hand poured in
the USA.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
It's highly scented and long lasting.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
There's over five thousand reviews, four point three out of
five stars. And I love the smell and it really
does have a high scent. When it says it's highly
sent I feel like it's a soy candle that when
it's burning, I can actually tell it's burning because you know,
you probably bought some soy candles I have, or you
go home and you light them and you smell literally nothing,
(19:11):
and you're like, Okay, that was a waste of money.
So Lulu Candles where it's at. Again. Everything I've shared
is linked in the show notes. If you have other
things you'd like to know about, you can email me
four things with Amy Brown at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Here we got thirding.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
So there's four common blocks regarding your career, one being
you have work success addiction and you're burning out, another
one being you think that there's not enough to go around,
another one you feel guilt over earning for your work,
and then the final one you take things too personally
(20:00):
when you shouldn't. And that final one is what I'm
going to focus on because I feel like I often
can do that, and especially in the workplace, we need
to get past it. Another one I would like to
just go back and spend a second on is you
feel guilt over earning for your work. And I feel
this in a big way when you're having to present
(20:20):
a price to someone. Maybe, I mean, if you're on salary,
it's one thing, but then if you have other opportunities
where someone is hiring you for something else and they're like, hey,
send me your rates for me, the first thing I
do is like, oh, I don't want to send something
too much. But then if I know that I've gotten
that before, or I know that that's my value and
that's my worth and they're willing to pay it, then
(20:42):
that is what my price is and I should not
fear sending that knowing that that's my worth. And I
just want to encourage you if you're having to come
up with a price for something and charge for something
like people also want to know that you believe in
yourself and that they're getting a service or a good product,
and they want to invest in that. Sometimes people actually
(21:06):
their brain might be like, oh, well this one is
a little bit more, so it might be better. So
I'm actually gonna get that or hire that person because
clearly this price means they might be better. So just
don't underestimate yourself when it comes to money and what
you deserve, and don't feel that guilt over earning for
your hard work. Now back to taking things personally when
(21:29):
you shouldn't. I have some mantras to share with you
that'll hopefully stop you from taking things too personally. You
might not be able to control all the things people
say and do to you, but you can decide not
to be continuously distracted by them today.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Or there's this one.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
You can't take things too personally, even if it seems personal.
Rarely do people do things because of you. They do
things because of them. Remember, calmness is a superpowerbility to
not overreact or take things too personally. It keeps your
mind clear and your heart at peace, which ultimately gives
you the upper hand.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
There.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Truly is a huge amount of freedom that comes to
you when you detach from other people's beliefs and behaviors.
The way people treat you is their problem. How you
react is your problem. Being kind to someone you dislike
doesn't mean you're fake. It means you're mature enough to
control your emotions. So be kind and remind yourself that
people are generally kinder when they are happier, which says
(22:32):
a whole lot about the people you meet who aren't
so kind to you.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
So there you go.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
You got a handful of mantras that you can keep
in your back pocket for when you need them if
you're taking things to personally, or you're having a disconnect
with someone in your life, or maybe even at work.
And really the big one for me that stood out
is rarely do people do things because of you. They
do things because of them, And a lot of times
(22:57):
we make it about ourselves.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
When we shouldn't do that at all.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Now, those mantras were from markandangel dot com, but I
also have a list from my friend.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
She texted them to me.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
She said, Hey, my therapist gave me these mantras yesterday.
I think you might like them, and so I'll just
run through them real quick. It's okay to relax and
enjoy myself. I am okay when I make mistakes. I
am learning not to take myself so seriously. I am
perfect just the way I am. I will ask for
what I need and want. Now, those aren't necessarily related
(23:32):
to not taking things too personally, but they are mantras
that maybe you need to hear and that you can use,
and I particularly need to work on.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
I will ask for what I need and want.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
That one's difficult to do, except for I don't want
to speak negatively. I will say that one is one
that I need to start practicing so that I get
better at it, instead of saying that it's difficult.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Am all right?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
To wrap things up?
Speaker 3 (24:08):
I have four things that you might want to know about. One,
studies are showing that the smell of coconut might be
best at repelling mosquitoes. So if you're like me and
mosquitoes love you, I've already had my first couple of
bites of the season, and I know I've got like
thousands of more coming my way. Well, we just need
to stock up on all things coconut, because that is
(24:32):
supposed to, according to new research, repel mosquitoes more than citronella.
Speaker 5 (24:38):
All right.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Two, Are you actually at risk of someone hacking or
spying on you if you don't cover your webcam or
your computer? And sometimes I do freak out about this,
just not all the time, and it's not a likely
thing that's going to happen, but apparently it is possible.
Thirty five percent of people do cover their webcams, which
is definitely more than I would have guessed. But it's
(25:00):
better safe than sorry. And occasionally, when I do get
paranoid about it, I just stick a post it note
over the camera so that I can easily remove it
if I need to hop on a zoom or something.
Speaker 5 (25:10):
Three.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
If you want to try meditation but it seems intimidating,
experts say, try reframing it. Think of it as a
way to slow down for a few minutes. Just breathe,
do yoga, stretch, go for a walk, be with nature
while doing your chores. Focus on all the things you're
grateful for. These are all things that will reduce stress
and calm the nervous system, just like actual meditation and
(25:34):
then you can ease yourself into an actual practice. Four.
I got a new podcast announcement for you. It's called
Soul Sessions with Amanda Rica Green. Maybe you've heard Amanda
on the Bobby Bone Show. We call her my psychic cousin.
She's also joined me here on Four Things a couple
of times. And if you're interested in finding inspiration, engaging
your innate abilities, and awakening your soul's highest potential, well
(25:58):
listen to Soul Sessions. Amanda will take listeners through life's
ebbs and flows by sharing her insights, her tools, and
her resources. She'll also have guests on for moving discussions,
dynamic live readings, Q and a's, and more. And Amana
is going to have a new episode that goes up
every Wednesday. So if that sounds interesting to you, definitely
(26:21):
check it out again. It's called Soul Sessions with Amanda
Rieger Green, and I'm very.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Proud of her.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
All Right, I hope y'all are having the day that
you need to have. And on Saturday there will be
a new Outweigh episode that goes up, and then Kat
and I will be back with you on Tuesday for
the Fifth Thing.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Bye.
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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