May 30, 2023 • 29 mins
Amy once went away for a 3-day intensive at a hotel with a therapist that she had never met before because she was so desperate to process an immense amount of pain she was dealing with. She knew that avoiding it would eventually make her sick…like cheesecake zipped up in a Chanel purse. Our negative emotions get zipped away when we don’t deal with them and sit rotting in our bodies. Pain is a part of life, but suffering doesn’t need to be, so finding a way to process negative emotions is imperative.
Watch the ‘Cheesecake in a Chanel Purse’ analogy HERE !!
Amy and Kat also talk about brainspotting, EMDR, The Body Keeps the Score, Kat’s feelings about Starbursts (because of the quote for this episode: “Never let anyone treat you like a yellow starburst, you are a pink starburst!”), Blinkist (a way to “read” a book in 15 minutes), manifesting an interview with Mel Robbins & co-hosting Good Morning America with Robin Roberts, and more + bonus quotes!!
HOSTS:
@Kat.Defatta // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat, and today's quote is, never let anyone treat
you like a yellow starburst. You are a pink starburst.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
What if somebody likes yellow starbursts?
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I do.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I like yellow and orange, but I mean I prefer
red or pink. Okay, this is a hot take, but
I don't like starbursts at all. Like if I was
starving and I needed something to eat, I wouldn't say no,
I'm not going to eat that. But I would never
choose willingly to have a starburst. And if somebody is
eating them, I have no inclination to ask for one. Wow,
I don't know what it is. I like that kind
(00:39):
of like I like sour gummy worms and skittles, But
starbars aren't my jam.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
That's interesting fun fact about Kat. Yeah, I don't offer
her a starburst.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
So Kat sent me this TikTok the other day, and
you can set it up. But I thought it was
a really interesting analogy and a great way to like
paint a picture in your head of what's happening when
we stuffed down our emotions and on my way here
I called you or on my way to meet.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Up with you.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I was like, oh, uh, I just realized that my
divorce is going to be final and we're signing papers,
and you said, well, how do you feel about that?
And I thought, well, I don't know, because this has
been such a very long, long process that I feel
like I should be okay because it's just a signature,
but then it's also the final step. So because multiple
(01:29):
things can be true at the same time, I think
that I feel sadness, but I also feel like an
exhale because you know, we're both ready to just not
have to deal with all that comes with paperwork and
lawyers and whatnot. So I really want to work through
how I do feel, and because I do have a
(01:50):
part of me that feels like sad, I want to
make sure that I properly work through whatever that is
that's coming up because it I was hit with emotion
right when I saw the text about it from Ben.
So what you're going to share the TikTok It makes
me think, oh, I definitely want to deal with this
because I don't want it to turn into rotten cheesecake
inside of me.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Which would be really bad, be really bad. So I
don't think I really need to set this video up.
I think we can just play it because you set
it up really well. But what I would encourage people
to think about as you're listening and after, because IM
sure we're gonna talk about it more, is we have
this natural inclination, just like you did when you were
on the phone with me, and it is what it is, like,
it's about time and you just kind of like wanted
(02:33):
to go with this surface level before you even let
yourself sit and think about it. Because sometimes I'm not
in this position, so I can't speak specifically for you,
but this has been going on for so long that
you just feel like it's like one more check on
this you know, to do list. But it still can
be a really important check. And it's important that we're
(02:54):
checking in with ourselves about that because it's easy to
it's easy to ignore. I don't think people do it
maliciously or because they want to hurt themselves.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Right, And did you realize the whole time you're talking,
I'm playing with my hair.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, because you're anxious. Yes, yeah, with you doing that,
it's soothing, right, It's so it's so soothing, so you're
not feeling the anxiety because you're feeling the soothingness of
you doing that.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
But I am going to acknowledge that I'm very proud
of myself for pulling at it but not pulling it out,
because I have a lot that I've pulled out there.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
It's like it's not I created a bald spot right
here from pulling out. Yeah, I think it's it's in
this little cowlick spot.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
For me there there's the most like it's like the
most coarse, and it feels like there's these little bumps
when I run my fingers across the hair. This sounds
so crazy, but I'm just explaining my feeling because other
parts of my hair don't feel this way.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
That's now that you're saying that that's might be why
I'm doing it because it is like there's a lot
it is coarse. I like the way it feels when
I I'm sorry for anybody who is uncomfortable with.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
My brother in.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Law had to leave the room the other day because
I was doing it so much and he's like, I can't.
I don't know what's happening with you right now, but
he's like, I.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Gotta Patrick swats my hand away. I'm like let me
do it. It feels it's helping me.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
I want to get one of those rubber like a
rubber band and put on my wrist and every time
I'm doing it, pop myself.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Okay, well so that sounds cruol, but you know you
can get No.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
My brain person told me to do that.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Okay, it just sounds like self harmish.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
And when I say brain person, I mean Sherry who
runs Harmonized Brain Center here in Nashville. She's been on
the podcast and she does my neuro feedback.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
You can get these rings. You can order them on Amazon,
and they're these sensory rings that I get for work
again for my client's a shot yourself. No, they're not
like tasers, but they're just these metal rings that you
can slide and it just feel nice. So it's like
a fidgety thing. So I'll get you somemmoned. Maybe we
can stop giving ourselves bald spots. But should we get
back to this, Yeah, do the clip. Okay, let's play
(04:54):
this clip.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
You take a slice of cheesecake and instead of eating it,
you put it in side your purse. You're three thousand
dollars purse, and then you zip it up and you say,
what cheese cake? You don't see it, so that means
it disappears, right, and it doesn't disappear. What happens to
that cheesecake in your chanel purse after a week, after
(05:21):
a month, after a year, what's happened?
Speaker 3 (05:28):
What happens to that cheesecake after ten years? It isn't
cheesecake anymore. It's alive.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Literally, it is alive, and if you were to eat
it would kill you.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
It's poison.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
We take our negative emotions and we don't want it process,
we don't want to deal with, and we stick it
in a purse and we zip it up and we
say it's gone. I don't see it, but it's not gone,
and it is fermenting. Do you understand? It's rotting, it's
turning poison. And many of us are walking around with
(06:07):
this unprocessed, unreleased pain. Everyone will experience pain, but if
you don't deal with it in the right way.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
It can kill you.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
It can make you sick, not only mentally sick, also
physically sick. This is one of the reasons we get
sick physically as well. You realize our bodies connected. Remember
the eyes shed tears and the heart feels the grief
is feeling the pain. Isn't suppressing the pain, isn't putting
(06:45):
it away in a drawer and locking it up and saying,
what pain?
Speaker 3 (06:49):
What cheese cake? That cheesecake doesn't disappear.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
And I'll tell you how it shows up in your relationships,
in your self talk.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
It will show up in how you parent your child.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
We're passing on the rotten cheesecake, but it isn't cheesecake anymore.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
It's poison. Are you feeling what I'm saying?
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Because when we're traumatized, traumatize the people around us. Pain
is an inevitable part of life, but suffering doesn't have
to be so. The fire alarm wakes you up from
your sleep and you want to.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Figure out where's the fire?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Right? Is a fire alarm a nice sound? Does anybody
like the sound of a fire alarm? No, your pain,
it's like a fire alarm. Your pain is actually alerting
you that there's a fire somewhere in your life, So
fix it.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
I love that so much. It's interesting to me though,
that she went with the Chanel bag.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
What bag would you have gone?
Speaker 1 (07:54):
And I was like, I think Chanel's are more than
three thousand, Like, I don't know, I don't know, I
just did purse.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I was like, she's speaking to because she's at a podium,
I don't know who she's speaking to, but I was like,
she must be speaking to a very wealthy crowd.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
It's just interesting that that it's something that you thought about,
and I didn't think that at all. I just thought
she said Chanel bag because it's a popular designer everybody knows.
And I think she's making the point that you have
this really nice thing and you shove something inside of
it and then it's ruining the inside of this really
nice bag that looks beautiful on the outside.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
I get it. Now, we are Chanel bags, Yes, I see.
Chanelle is like the highest well I don't know. I
guess one of those hermais are Birken or there's other
bags that are more I don't know, but Chanelle's pretty
high end. So she's trying to compare us to high
end because we are we are, Yes, we have value. Yes, Yes,
(08:49):
I just love that are pink starbars or.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Yellow if you like yellow? True?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Okay, the purse really honestly had nothing to do with it,
but I was when she first said it, I was like, oh,
go imustration, no are we But now I thank you
for clarifying that. Now I see why she did that.
And then just the visual of cheesecake being in there
and it's like getting warm and falling apart and getting
smushed and then growing mold and then being that is
(09:16):
what is happening when we don't deal with our stuff
inside of our bodies. And then you try to put
other things inside your bag and the moldy cheesecake gets all.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Over it, and there's no, there's not room too. It's
still sitting in there. So you're trying to put more
stuff in there, and you're not taking the cheesecake out,
You're not making more room. I loved that. I want
to call it a metaphor. It could be an analogy,
because I still can't figure out what is what, but
I love that, and I have used that since I've
sent it to you to describe because I feel like
(09:47):
I've always been trying to find a good way to
describe why it's so important to acknowledge feelings. And people
are like, whatever, why if it's not there, if I
can't see it, why does it matter? But this is
exactly why it matters, And something that I I have
said a lot is it's not your feelings that are
gonna kill you. Like a feeling's not going to kill you.
It might be uncomfortable. It's the things that we do
(10:09):
to avoid them that's going to actually cause us harm.
And that's like hiding the cheesecake in our purse. That's
going to cause us harm, not the actual cheesecake itself.
When it's the cheesecake.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
It makes me think of The Body Keeps the Score
the book.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah, yeah, I'm familiar. Tell me more.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Well, we've talked about it on the podcast a lot,
but I want to go back and go through that
one again. I think it's been almost a year since
I've done it, and it's a powerful read, but it's
a lot of information to take in. I just looked
up something for it because I was just going to
give people like a summary, and I just said the
Body Keeps the Score summary, and then this four minute
(10:48):
books came up, and I'm like, are you telling me
that I can read The Body Keeps the Score in
four minutes? Or I can get like a basem the
meat of it of what it is. But here's the
one sentence summary from four minute books dot com. The
Body Keeps the Score teaches you how to get through
the difficulties that arise from your traumatic past by revealing
the psychology behind them and revealing some of the techniques
(11:09):
that therapists use to help victims or people recover. And
then a quote from the author is, once you start
approaching your body with curiosity rather than fear, everything shifts
a boom that might must be better than the Star Wars.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
One bonus quote.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Bonus quote that is good. And then his name is
Bessel a vander Kulk.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Bessel vander Kulk.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yeah, a, don't forget the egg. Well, you might confuse
it with the other vessel, yeah, the vander Kulk. So okay,
But now I'm on this website and I'm scrolling down.
So there's a video summary. I guess maybe that's what
I could watch for the four minutes and then it
it has a whole written thing here. That said, here
are the three most helpful lessons this book teaches about
(11:56):
trauma and recovery. First thing, here are the three most
helpful lessons this book teaches about trauma and recovery. First thing.
EMDR is a slightly mysterious technique that the author uses
(12:19):
to help trauma patients recover and with wonderfully positive results.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Have you done I have?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Do you like it? Uh? Yes, I liked it back up,
But I did emdr after my mom died and the
person I did it with, I actually did not really
enjoy that experience.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Because of the person or the way they did it.
Or I guess that's kind of the same thing. It
could be both.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
What I have done and really liked is brain spotting.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
You wait, you did brainspotting I did with.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Linda when I went away.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I knew that. Okay, I didn't
know that.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Sorry, people were like, sorry, they might be new Amy
went away where I went away. There was a time
where in the same gosh, same three month period. No,
it was twenty twenty one, so two years ago, same
three month period, that there was three very intense, powerful
things happening in my life.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
That are all.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
They were all major. When the first one happened, I
was like, this is hardest thing I've ever go to
do in my life. And then the second one happened,
and I was like, this is the hardest thing I
ever had to do in my life and the second
and third were happening at the same time, which the
third thing was my dad dying and the other one
involves other people that you know. I don't know that's
it's more than just my story. But I it was
(13:35):
just funny that I was like, Oh, these are all
hard things. But my therapist said, hey, so I had
bereavement anyway, So I was taking off of work. My
therapist was like, I think you should go away. Could
you go away? Like, could you do like an intensive
because I don't. I don't know that you're going to
be able to get through this if you don't. And
luckily I had the time and I was able to go,
(13:58):
and I flew to Virginia to meet Linda. I'd never
met her. She picked me up at the airport. I
don't even know what she looked like. She took you
to a hotel, shook me to a hotel and was like,
I could get murdered tonight, but she lives there. But
she's one of the onsite people, so I trusted her.
I was like, she's on site certified. We're good and
I'll never forget her. Linda.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Yeah, so you liked brain Spotting more than EMDR.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Well, yeah, okay, and but I really loved Linda, so
that could be it too. But the brain spotting was
like we drew pictures and then wrote things and stick
like I hung it on the wall and I stared
at it and then I talked to it like the
pictures like I drew my parents. And then we also
did the brain spotting where she had these cards there
(14:43):
was like an eagle and a son, like I had
to pick out which cards resonated with me, and then
we put them up on the wall and I stared
at them. And then she also put one of the
cards on like a stick, and then she moved the
stick back and forth and my eyes had to follow
it the stick.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
They call it a pointer. I call it a wand
but that's the more traditional brain spotting when she's moving
the stick. But I asked you that because I've done both,
and I personally like brain spotting as a client better,
and so I never even got certified for AMDRS. At therapist.
It's more regimented and there's more of a protocol versus
(15:17):
brain spotting. You can like add in a lot of
your own, you can play with it more, and it's
not as like you have to do it this way,
which is maybe why you like it more too. It's
client led versus protocol led.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
And here's the thing that other people may relate to
is I was more open to it. I was so
desperate and I would hate for anybody else to have
to be in such a desperate place. But oftentimes that's
what it takes. But gosh, how great if you could
be proactive and like go and address some things without it,
you know, going so far. But I was more open
to it than when after my mom died. I think
(15:51):
I was still closed off and kind of like, well,
what is this? And so it was probably if I
went back and resistant, If I went back and did
it now, I might have a better experience, because I
do think when you're open to things, you just have
a better experience, Like and now I know that. So
when I go into certain things, I'm like, be open,
be open, be curious, And I tell myself that over
(16:15):
so that way, if I have any blocks, I'm not yeah,
shutting things off.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
The second most powerful lesson and body keeps a score.
You can connect your body and mind through yoga to
help you deal with your troubling past. The third most
helpful lesson is having a network of supportive people and
practicing mindfulness are two more ways that bring healing. Yeah,
the mindfulness. You know, I'm a meditator.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Now are you on like a are you doing a challenge?
I feel like I did have a meditation.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
I did the challenge, but I completed it. Okay, it's
twenty one days long.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
So now do you just meditate? Now?
Speaker 1 (16:50):
I just met I'm meditated today, but I mean it depends.
Every day is different. Like I will say, today's meditation
was five minutes and forty one seconds, so that counts.
That counts. Yesterday's was eleven or something. The longest meditation
I've done is thirty five minutes. Gosh, that's so lot.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
And I cried in that one.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Yeah I didn't mean to, but cheers just started falling.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
I wasn't trying to. That means that you were really
in it. Yeah, but I like that. That's what that
picked out because I feel like, specifically, really when it
comes to meditation the most, it's one of those things
where people were like, oh, I mean, one, it's not
for me, and two is that really gonna matter? But
it does?
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Oh yeah, No, I mean in some of the stories
he tells in the book are fat, like you know,
you're talking like I'm also gonna I could be throwing
in because there's that book, and then I've also listened
to similar podcasts that we're talking about it. So I
don't know where this came from. These stories are real,
where like people can't see and then they go through
certain types of therapies and they are no longer blind,
(17:52):
like something in their brain was blocking their site. Wheelchairs,
veterans coming back from war that are cannot walk then
are able to walk when they work through their PTSD.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
One of the facilitators of the brain spotting training that
I went to said that she's healed people with chronic
migraines through brain spotting, and it is it feels it's
one of those things where you're like whatever, like that's
not real. Just how people feel that like hypnosis and
stuff like that, like, oh that's fake, that's just a story.
But not all these people can be lying. I just
(18:26):
don't believe it, No, And I don't think that this
guy's definitely not lying.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yes, Like I just think that there's too much evidence
or too many witnesses and too much documentation and the
people that are reporting this stuff like neuroscientists, and they
want data that is accurate.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
They're not trying to when EMBR is the most it's
the most evidence based trauma treatment there is, so it's
not just somebody, Oh, I made this up and it
sounds cool. There is tons and tons more research on
that than any other trauma treatment right now. And then
brain spondings coming up right behind it.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
I scrolled down a little bit more. They kind of
did paragraphs under each thing and under the EMDR one
it says here. The reason is so helpful because of
the way it allows victims to integrate their traumatic memories.
Part of the problem with these events is that their
memory can play out as if it's happening in the present.
Integration allows for them to simply add these events to
(19:22):
a memory bank instead of thinking that they are real,
which is Yeah. We could go on and on and
on about all this stuff and the brain and how
wild and crazy it just makes you think of like
the churches on TV were like, come on down to
the front, I'm gonna heal you and put your hand
on you know, And it's a little different.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah I know, yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
But that's what some people I'm picturing, Mike, they think
that it's like, Okay, come on, now, you're telling me.
But some of those people, I don't know. Maybe if
they have they're in a moment of such surrender and
belief of like and they are holding on to something
so tight and they fully surrender it that maybe they're
her body does do a release of some sort.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, and I will say the one thing at.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
The whatever the TV I'm talking about the TV Church?
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah, did you you watched Righteous Gemstones? Okay, That's what
I'm thinking about right now. So I just saw the
trailer for the third season. I cannot freaking wait.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
That show is great but also so inappropriate and not
for kids.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Why hundred and thousand million percent. I don't even know
what I was saying before that Righteous Gemstones got in
my head and then everything's blank.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Well it makes me think because I'm at the four
Minute books dot com. I like this website, But then
have you heard of the blink books where it's the
blink list app or something.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
No.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Ben is actually the one that taught me about this,
because he would say, oh, I read two books today,
and I thought, well, and you worked and you helped
with the kids. Like what and he's like, yeah, blink List.
It's where you can get a book and you listen
to it and it's fifteen minutes. It gives you everything
you need to know about the book in fifteen minutes.
(21:15):
And I was like, that doesn't count. He was being
sarcastic and saying he finished too. But would you consider that?
Could you say, like, say that I did a blink
list book, would I be able to say I read
the book? No?
Speaker 2 (21:28):
I think you could say I listened to the fifteen
minutes summer and blink List.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Okay, right, I agree with Yeah, I agree with that.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
But there's sometimes books are way longer than they need
to be, so this could be all you need to do.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
So you know how when you pull up something on
Google and people also ask. I love the people also
ask because it helps me think questions that I wouldn't.
Is blink list worth the money? Yes, it is worth it.
If you want to get knowledge from thousands of books quickly,
signing up for an annual subscription saved you fifty percent.
It's an incredible value.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Blah blah blah.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Does blinkless have free books if you choose not to subscribe,
you can still read or listen to pre select it.
What is the five second rule? For example?
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Oh, that's the book by Mel Robins.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Oh, it's just like we could read Mel's book in
fifteen minutes.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Yeah, but you went on to do Mel like that?
You want to give her your full attention.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Someone asked, what is the five second rule? Blink list?
For example, if your first reflex upon waking up is
to moan and hit the snooze button on your alarm clock,
instead count down from five, this will redirect your attention
to your responsibilities getting up on time and help you
reassess your true priorities. All right, take a shot. We
mentioned take a severe drink. We mentioned Mel.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
It's been a minute, like a week, It's been quite
a while. Honestly, I'm glad she's pack.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
One day, I'm going to have Mel on the podcast.
You just wait.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
I feel like that's coming. But I feel like that
if you were to have her on the podcast, would
you overthink it and or would you want to make
it a big dream about something? This goes back to
me and mytorage. Oh joy, like we talked about last week.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Yes, it's something I'm looking forward to and then when
I actually do it. I had that recently to someone
I was looking forward to something and the interview was horrible.
I didn't even hear it.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Yeah, that would never happen with mel though I do
know that. But how do you think it would impact you?
Knowing this is such like a huge this would be
a milestone kind of like when you interviewed Robin Roberts,
Like what was that process?
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Like, Oh, it's good and it's great. Okay, I lived
up to the hype chick.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Okay, Okay, I just wonder you know how they say like,
never meet your heroes.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Right, No, I think Robin would be fine. I still
have plans to meet her in person, and maybe, I
don't know, co host something alongside her on Good Morning America. Yeah,
I'm just putting that out there.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Put that on your calendar.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
You look forward to something to look forward to. Okay,
Well enough about Blinkliss. I think, yeah, we need to
do the We need to do the whole book if
we're going to say that we read it.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
If this was a free thing, I feel like I
would do it because then it could be like, oh,
do I want to read this whole book? Because if
it's good, then I want to read the rest of it.
But it's it sounds like it's a subscription, so I'm
not going to pay to get a summary of a
book to then read more books.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
I got cha. That makes sense.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
It's great, great business idea, though good for whoever created it.
I wonder if they have to pay the people that
write the books to put their summaries on there.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
That's what I was wondering.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
That feels like it's a rip off, right, Yeah, they're
making money off of people not reading their books.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
You're taking away from Yeah, someone going out and buying
that person's book. Surely I would they.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Have to, but I wouldn't. I wouldn't want my book
on this. Then I would want to say, no, you
can't summarize it.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Yeah. I pulled up the quotes that were next to
the Starbus one and it says, if at first you
don't succeed, skydiving definitely isn't for you. If you think
you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping
with a mosquito.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Oh that's good, that's good.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
The other day, on a Four Things episode, I read
an article about some new research that is saying that
coconut is the best smell now to repel mosquitoes over citronella.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Really, I wonder if they got used to citronella.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I don't know, but I much prefer coconut.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Over that yucky.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah, do not take life too seriously. You will never
get out of it alive. Whatever you do, always give
one hundred percent, unless you're donating blood. Ah. These are funny.
People who wonder whether the glass is half empty are
half full? Are missing the point the glass is refillable. Ooh,
(25:45):
all right, A final one, and this one's from Dolly. Dolly,
pardon a peacock that rests on his tail feathers is
just another turkey. I don't really know what that means, Dolly,
I don't I don't really know what that means. Okay, Kat,
where can people find.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
You on Instagram at at Kat dot Defada and at
You Need Therapy podcast and you can listen to You
Need Therapy podcast wherever you get podcasts.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yeah, and you have your full episodes, which are oftentimes
interviews on Mondays and then couch talks where you do
listener Q and A on Wednesday on Wednesday, Yeah, and
then like here we have Tuesday the fifth Thing with
Me and Kat and on Thursdays it's more of a
full episode interview style ish. On Saturdays there's outweigh My
(26:33):
cousin Amanda every Wednesday now has her soul sessions. Up.
I saw that, my psychic cousin.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I can't wait to listen. Is she going to do
like readings on people? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (26:42):
She did?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
JB.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
Sacks shut up.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Yeah, I just interviewed him again. No, I guess it
was a long time ago.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I was like, wait, that's so cool. I'm interested in that.
I have to go. I have to go listen to that.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah, there's a couple of other people. She's me doing
lots of things. I mean she really her main goal
is she wants people to tap into their highest potential,
and she wants to give them the tools and resources
to do that. But at the same time, she'll do
some live readings, some Q and A some.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I want her to do a live reading of me.
I don't know if I want to do that.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
But aired like, that's the thing, is it?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Like, yeah, if it's like deeply personal.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
It's recorded.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I think that was the problem too. Even with the
sometimes she feels like she's got a sense or something.
She's like, Oh, I don't know if I should.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Say this, get the whole thing.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
She's shown that on the Bobby Boncho before, where she's like,
some stuff's coming through, but I don't feel like I
should say this on air.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Was the JP sax won a live reading.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I don't know it might be out at this point.
I don't know the order. I know she had like
four episodes done, and I think last Wednesday was the
Wednesday before last her trailer went up, and then last
Wednesday I think was her first episode. But every Wednesday
there will be something.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Okay, that's exciting.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
We just look at Soul Sessions, which I didn't know
there could be multiple names. I guess there's multiple Soul sessions,
so you'll want to look for Soul Sessions with Amanda
Rieger Green.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Oh yeah, there's another You Need Therapy podcast. Oh don't
get it confused with mine. Okay, yeah, so you can
have the same name.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
You Need Therapy with kat Defata.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
I didn't know that. Yeah, it was really upsetting.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
It was after is there another four things? With may
be around?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
It came up after I started mine. So there's no
rules on if somebody wanted to start that. I think
that they could. I don't think they will. Oh, I
think that you have a safe name.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Oh. I just pulled out one of my hair. I
was pulling at it and then it couldn't help it.
It just okay, it came out. All right, have the
day you need to have. I'm at radio Amy on
Socials radioamy dot com for links to things four Things,
Gratitude Journal, Amazon Favorites, and stuff like that. So yeah,
(28:54):
Kat and I Weed be out.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Bye bye you
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat, and today's quote is, never let anyone treat
you like a yellow starburst. You are a pink starburst.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
What if somebody likes yellow starbursts?
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I do.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I like yellow and orange, but I mean I prefer
red or pink. Okay, this is a hot take, but
I don't like starbursts at all. Like if I was
starving and I needed something to eat, I wouldn't say no,
I'm not going to eat that. But I would never
choose willingly to have a starburst. And if somebody is
eating them, I have no inclination to ask for one. Wow,
I don't know what it is. I like that kind
(00:39):
of like I like sour gummy worms and skittles, But
starbars aren't my jam.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
That's interesting fun fact about Kat. Yeah, I don't offer
her a starburst.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
So Kat sent me this TikTok the other day, and
you can set it up. But I thought it was
a really interesting analogy and a great way to like
paint a picture in your head of what's happening when
we stuffed down our emotions and on my way here
I called you or on my way to meet.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Up with you.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I was like, oh, uh, I just realized that my
divorce is going to be final and we're signing papers,
and you said, well, how do you feel about that?
And I thought, well, I don't know, because this has
been such a very long, long process that I feel
like I should be okay because it's just a signature,
but then it's also the final step. So because multiple
(01:29):
things can be true at the same time, I think
that I feel sadness, but I also feel like an
exhale because you know, we're both ready to just not
have to deal with all that comes with paperwork and
lawyers and whatnot. So I really want to work through
how I do feel, and because I do have a
(01:50):
part of me that feels like sad, I want to
make sure that I properly work through whatever that is
that's coming up because it I was hit with emotion
right when I saw the text about it from Ben.
So what you're going to share the TikTok It makes
me think, oh, I definitely want to deal with this
because I don't want it to turn into rotten cheesecake
inside of me.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Which would be really bad, be really bad. So I
don't think I really need to set this video up.
I think we can just play it because you set
it up really well. But what I would encourage people
to think about as you're listening and after, because IM
sure we're gonna talk about it more, is we have
this natural inclination, just like you did when you were
on the phone with me, and it is what it is, like,
it's about time and you just kind of like wanted
(02:33):
to go with this surface level before you even let
yourself sit and think about it. Because sometimes I'm not
in this position, so I can't speak specifically for you,
but this has been going on for so long that
you just feel like it's like one more check on
this you know, to do list. But it still can
be a really important check. And it's important that we're
(02:54):
checking in with ourselves about that because it's easy to
it's easy to ignore. I don't think people do it
maliciously or because they want to hurt themselves.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Right, And did you realize the whole time you're talking,
I'm playing with my hair.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, because you're anxious. Yes, yeah, with you doing that,
it's soothing, right, It's so it's so soothing, so you're
not feeling the anxiety because you're feeling the soothingness of
you doing that.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
But I am going to acknowledge that I'm very proud
of myself for pulling at it but not pulling it out,
because I have a lot that I've pulled out there.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
It's like it's not I created a bald spot right
here from pulling out. Yeah, I think it's it's in
this little cowlick spot.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
For me there there's the most like it's like the
most coarse, and it feels like there's these little bumps
when I run my fingers across the hair. This sounds
so crazy, but I'm just explaining my feeling because other
parts of my hair don't feel this way.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
That's now that you're saying that that's might be why
I'm doing it because it is like there's a lot
it is coarse. I like the way it feels when
I I'm sorry for anybody who is uncomfortable with.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
My brother in.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Law had to leave the room the other day because
I was doing it so much and he's like, I can't.
I don't know what's happening with you right now, but
he's like, I.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Gotta Patrick swats my hand away. I'm like let me
do it. It feels it's helping me.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
I want to get one of those rubber like a
rubber band and put on my wrist and every time
I'm doing it, pop myself.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Okay, well so that sounds cruol, but you know you
can get No.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
My brain person told me to do that.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Okay, it just sounds like self harmish.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
And when I say brain person, I mean Sherry who
runs Harmonized Brain Center here in Nashville. She's been on
the podcast and she does my neuro feedback.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
You can get these rings. You can order them on Amazon,
and they're these sensory rings that I get for work
again for my client's a shot yourself. No, they're not
like tasers, but they're just these metal rings that you
can slide and it just feel nice. So it's like
a fidgety thing. So I'll get you somemmoned. Maybe we
can stop giving ourselves bald spots. But should we get
back to this, Yeah, do the clip. Okay, let's play
(04:54):
this clip.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
You take a slice of cheesecake and instead of eating it,
you put it in side your purse. You're three thousand
dollars purse, and then you zip it up and you say,
what cheese cake? You don't see it, so that means
it disappears, right, and it doesn't disappear. What happens to
that cheesecake in your chanel purse after a week, after
(05:21):
a month, after a year, what's happened?
Speaker 3 (05:28):
What happens to that cheesecake after ten years? It isn't
cheesecake anymore. It's alive.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Literally, it is alive, and if you were to eat
it would kill you.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
It's poison.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
We take our negative emotions and we don't want it process,
we don't want to deal with, and we stick it
in a purse and we zip it up and we
say it's gone. I don't see it, but it's not gone,
and it is fermenting. Do you understand? It's rotting, it's
turning poison. And many of us are walking around with
(06:07):
this unprocessed, unreleased pain. Everyone will experience pain, but if
you don't deal with it in the right way.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
It can kill you.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
It can make you sick, not only mentally sick, also
physically sick. This is one of the reasons we get
sick physically as well. You realize our bodies connected. Remember
the eyes shed tears and the heart feels the grief
is feeling the pain. Isn't suppressing the pain, isn't putting
(06:45):
it away in a drawer and locking it up and saying,
what pain?
Speaker 3 (06:49):
What cheese cake? That cheesecake doesn't disappear.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
And I'll tell you how it shows up in your relationships,
in your self talk.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
It will show up in how you parent your child.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
We're passing on the rotten cheesecake, but it isn't cheesecake anymore.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
It's poison. Are you feeling what I'm saying?
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Because when we're traumatized, traumatize the people around us. Pain
is an inevitable part of life, but suffering doesn't have
to be so. The fire alarm wakes you up from
your sleep and you want to.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Figure out where's the fire?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Right? Is a fire alarm a nice sound? Does anybody
like the sound of a fire alarm? No, your pain,
it's like a fire alarm. Your pain is actually alerting
you that there's a fire somewhere in your life, So
fix it.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
I love that so much. It's interesting to me though,
that she went with the Chanel bag.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
What bag would you have gone?
Speaker 1 (07:54):
And I was like, I think Chanel's are more than
three thousand, Like, I don't know, I don't know, I
just did purse.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I was like, she's speaking to because she's at a podium,
I don't know who she's speaking to, but I was like,
she must be speaking to a very wealthy crowd.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
It's just interesting that that it's something that you thought about,
and I didn't think that at all. I just thought
she said Chanel bag because it's a popular designer everybody knows.
And I think she's making the point that you have
this really nice thing and you shove something inside of
it and then it's ruining the inside of this really
nice bag that looks beautiful on the outside.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
I get it. Now, we are Chanel bags, Yes, I see.
Chanelle is like the highest well I don't know. I
guess one of those hermais are Birken or there's other
bags that are more I don't know, but Chanelle's pretty
high end. So she's trying to compare us to high
end because we are we are, Yes, we have value. Yes, Yes,
(08:49):
I just love that are pink starbars or.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Yellow if you like yellow? True?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Okay, the purse really honestly had nothing to do with it,
but I was when she first said it, I was like, oh,
go imustration, no are we But now I thank you
for clarifying that. Now I see why she did that.
And then just the visual of cheesecake being in there
and it's like getting warm and falling apart and getting
smushed and then growing mold and then being that is
(09:16):
what is happening when we don't deal with our stuff
inside of our bodies. And then you try to put
other things inside your bag and the moldy cheesecake gets all.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Over it, and there's no, there's not room too. It's
still sitting in there. So you're trying to put more
stuff in there, and you're not taking the cheesecake out,
You're not making more room. I loved that. I want
to call it a metaphor. It could be an analogy,
because I still can't figure out what is what, but
I love that, and I have used that since I've
sent it to you to describe because I feel like
(09:47):
I've always been trying to find a good way to
describe why it's so important to acknowledge feelings. And people
are like, whatever, why if it's not there, if I
can't see it, why does it matter? But this is
exactly why it matters, And something that I I have
said a lot is it's not your feelings that are
gonna kill you. Like a feeling's not going to kill you.
It might be uncomfortable. It's the things that we do
(10:09):
to avoid them that's going to actually cause us harm.
And that's like hiding the cheesecake in our purse. That's
going to cause us harm, not the actual cheesecake itself.
When it's the cheesecake.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
It makes me think of The Body Keeps the Score
the book.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah, yeah, I'm familiar. Tell me more.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Well, we've talked about it on the podcast a lot,
but I want to go back and go through that
one again. I think it's been almost a year since
I've done it, and it's a powerful read, but it's
a lot of information to take in. I just looked
up something for it because I was just going to
give people like a summary, and I just said the
Body Keeps the Score summary, and then this four minute
(10:48):
books came up, and I'm like, are you telling me
that I can read The Body Keeps the Score in
four minutes? Or I can get like a basem the
meat of it of what it is. But here's the
one sentence summary from four minute books dot com. The
Body Keeps the Score teaches you how to get through
the difficulties that arise from your traumatic past by revealing
the psychology behind them and revealing some of the techniques
(11:09):
that therapists use to help victims or people recover. And
then a quote from the author is, once you start
approaching your body with curiosity rather than fear, everything shifts
a boom that might must be better than the Star Wars.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
One bonus quote.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Bonus quote that is good. And then his name is
Bessel a vander Kulk.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Bessel vander Kulk.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yeah, a, don't forget the egg. Well, you might confuse
it with the other vessel, yeah, the vander Kulk. So okay,
But now I'm on this website and I'm scrolling down.
So there's a video summary. I guess maybe that's what
I could watch for the four minutes and then it
it has a whole written thing here. That said, here
are the three most helpful lessons this book teaches about
(11:56):
trauma and recovery. First thing, here are the three most
helpful lessons this book teaches about trauma and recovery. First thing.
EMDR is a slightly mysterious technique that the author uses
(12:19):
to help trauma patients recover and with wonderfully positive results.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Have you done I have?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Do you like it? Uh? Yes, I liked it back up,
But I did emdr after my mom died and the
person I did it with, I actually did not really
enjoy that experience.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Because of the person or the way they did it.
Or I guess that's kind of the same thing. It
could be both.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
What I have done and really liked is brain spotting.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
You wait, you did brainspotting I did with.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Linda when I went away.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I knew that. Okay, I didn't
know that.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Sorry, people were like, sorry, they might be new Amy
went away where I went away. There was a time
where in the same gosh, same three month period. No,
it was twenty twenty one, so two years ago, same
three month period, that there was three very intense, powerful
things happening in my life.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
That are all.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
They were all major. When the first one happened, I
was like, this is hardest thing I've ever go to
do in my life. And then the second one happened,
and I was like, this is the hardest thing I
ever had to do in my life and the second
and third were happening at the same time, which the
third thing was my dad dying and the other one
involves other people that you know. I don't know that's
it's more than just my story. But I it was
(13:35):
just funny that I was like, Oh, these are all
hard things. But my therapist said, hey, so I had
bereavement anyway, So I was taking off of work. My
therapist was like, I think you should go away. Could
you go away? Like, could you do like an intensive
because I don't. I don't know that you're going to
be able to get through this if you don't. And
luckily I had the time and I was able to go,
(13:58):
and I flew to Virginia to meet Linda. I'd never
met her. She picked me up at the airport. I
don't even know what she looked like. She took you
to a hotel, shook me to a hotel and was like,
I could get murdered tonight, but she lives there. But
she's one of the onsite people, so I trusted her.
I was like, she's on site certified. We're good and
I'll never forget her. Linda.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Yeah, so you liked brain Spotting more than EMDR.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Well, yeah, okay, and but I really loved Linda, so
that could be it too. But the brain spotting was
like we drew pictures and then wrote things and stick
like I hung it on the wall and I stared
at it and then I talked to it like the
pictures like I drew my parents. And then we also
did the brain spotting where she had these cards there
(14:43):
was like an eagle and a son, like I had
to pick out which cards resonated with me, and then
we put them up on the wall and I stared
at them. And then she also put one of the
cards on like a stick, and then she moved the
stick back and forth and my eyes had to follow
it the stick.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
They call it a pointer. I call it a wand
but that's the more traditional brain spotting when she's moving
the stick. But I asked you that because I've done both,
and I personally like brain spotting as a client better,
and so I never even got certified for AMDRS. At therapist.
It's more regimented and there's more of a protocol versus
(15:17):
brain spotting. You can like add in a lot of
your own, you can play with it more, and it's
not as like you have to do it this way,
which is maybe why you like it more too. It's
client led versus protocol led.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
And here's the thing that other people may relate to
is I was more open to it. I was so
desperate and I would hate for anybody else to have
to be in such a desperate place. But oftentimes that's
what it takes. But gosh, how great if you could
be proactive and like go and address some things without it,
you know, going so far. But I was more open
to it than when after my mom died. I think
(15:51):
I was still closed off and kind of like, well,
what is this? And so it was probably if I
went back and resistant, If I went back and did
it now, I might have a better experience, because I
do think when you're open to things, you just have
a better experience, Like and now I know that. So
when I go into certain things, I'm like, be open,
be open, be curious, And I tell myself that over
(16:15):
so that way, if I have any blocks, I'm not yeah,
shutting things off.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
The second most powerful lesson and body keeps a score.
You can connect your body and mind through yoga to
help you deal with your troubling past. The third most
helpful lesson is having a network of supportive people and
practicing mindfulness are two more ways that bring healing. Yeah,
the mindfulness. You know, I'm a meditator.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Now are you on like a are you doing a challenge?
I feel like I did have a meditation.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
I did the challenge, but I completed it. Okay, it's
twenty one days long.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
So now do you just meditate? Now?
Speaker 1 (16:50):
I just met I'm meditated today, but I mean it depends.
Every day is different. Like I will say, today's meditation
was five minutes and forty one seconds, so that counts.
That counts. Yesterday's was eleven or something. The longest meditation
I've done is thirty five minutes. Gosh, that's so lot.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
And I cried in that one.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Yeah I didn't mean to, but cheers just started falling.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
I wasn't trying to. That means that you were really
in it. Yeah, but I like that. That's what that
picked out because I feel like, specifically, really when it
comes to meditation the most, it's one of those things
where people were like, oh, I mean, one, it's not
for me, and two is that really gonna matter? But
it does?
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Oh yeah, No, I mean in some of the stories
he tells in the book are fat, like you know,
you're talking like I'm also gonna I could be throwing
in because there's that book, and then I've also listened
to similar podcasts that we're talking about it. So I
don't know where this came from. These stories are real,
where like people can't see and then they go through
certain types of therapies and they are no longer blind,
(17:52):
like something in their brain was blocking their site. Wheelchairs,
veterans coming back from war that are cannot walk then
are able to walk when they work through their PTSD.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
One of the facilitators of the brain spotting training that
I went to said that she's healed people with chronic
migraines through brain spotting, and it is it feels it's
one of those things where you're like whatever, like that's
not real. Just how people feel that like hypnosis and
stuff like that, like, oh that's fake, that's just a story.
But not all these people can be lying. I just
(18:26):
don't believe it, No, And I don't think that this
guy's definitely not lying.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yes, Like I just think that there's too much evidence
or too many witnesses and too much documentation and the
people that are reporting this stuff like neuroscientists, and they
want data that is accurate.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
They're not trying to when EMBR is the most it's
the most evidence based trauma treatment there is, so it's
not just somebody, Oh, I made this up and it
sounds cool. There is tons and tons more research on
that than any other trauma treatment right now. And then
brain spondings coming up right behind it.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
I scrolled down a little bit more. They kind of
did paragraphs under each thing and under the EMDR one
it says here. The reason is so helpful because of
the way it allows victims to integrate their traumatic memories.
Part of the problem with these events is that their
memory can play out as if it's happening in the present.
Integration allows for them to simply add these events to
(19:22):
a memory bank instead of thinking that they are real,
which is Yeah. We could go on and on and
on about all this stuff and the brain and how
wild and crazy it just makes you think of like
the churches on TV were like, come on down to
the front, I'm gonna heal you and put your hand
on you know, And it's a little different.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah I know, yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
But that's what some people I'm picturing, Mike, they think
that it's like, Okay, come on, now, you're telling me.
But some of those people, I don't know. Maybe if
they have they're in a moment of such surrender and
belief of like and they are holding on to something
so tight and they fully surrender it that maybe they're
her body does do a release of some sort.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, and I will say the one thing at.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
The whatever the TV I'm talking about the TV Church?
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah, did you you watched Righteous Gemstones? Okay, That's what
I'm thinking about right now. So I just saw the
trailer for the third season. I cannot freaking wait.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
That show is great but also so inappropriate and not
for kids.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Why hundred and thousand million percent. I don't even know
what I was saying before that Righteous Gemstones got in
my head and then everything's blank.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Well it makes me think because I'm at the four
Minute books dot com. I like this website, But then
have you heard of the blink books where it's the
blink list app or something.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
No.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Ben is actually the one that taught me about this,
because he would say, oh, I read two books today,
and I thought, well, and you worked and you helped
with the kids. Like what and he's like, yeah, blink List.
It's where you can get a book and you listen
to it and it's fifteen minutes. It gives you everything
you need to know about the book in fifteen minutes.
(21:15):
And I was like, that doesn't count. He was being
sarcastic and saying he finished too. But would you consider that?
Could you say, like, say that I did a blink
list book, would I be able to say I read
the book? No?
Speaker 2 (21:28):
I think you could say I listened to the fifteen
minutes summer and blink List.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Okay, right, I agree with Yeah, I agree with that.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
But there's sometimes books are way longer than they need
to be, so this could be all you need to do.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
So you know how when you pull up something on
Google and people also ask. I love the people also
ask because it helps me think questions that I wouldn't.
Is blink list worth the money? Yes, it is worth it.
If you want to get knowledge from thousands of books quickly,
signing up for an annual subscription saved you fifty percent.
It's an incredible value.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Blah blah blah.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Does blinkless have free books if you choose not to subscribe,
you can still read or listen to pre select it.
What is the five second rule? For example?
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Oh, that's the book by Mel Robins.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Oh, it's just like we could read Mel's book in
fifteen minutes.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Yeah, but you went on to do Mel like that?
You want to give her your full attention.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Someone asked, what is the five second rule? Blink list?
For example, if your first reflex upon waking up is
to moan and hit the snooze button on your alarm clock,
instead count down from five, this will redirect your attention
to your responsibilities getting up on time and help you
reassess your true priorities. All right, take a shot. We
mentioned take a severe drink. We mentioned Mel.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
It's been a minute, like a week, It's been quite
a while. Honestly, I'm glad she's pack.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
One day, I'm going to have Mel on the podcast.
You just wait.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
I feel like that's coming. But I feel like that
if you were to have her on the podcast, would
you overthink it and or would you want to make
it a big dream about something? This goes back to
me and mytorage. Oh joy, like we talked about last week.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Yes, it's something I'm looking forward to and then when
I actually do it. I had that recently to someone
I was looking forward to something and the interview was horrible.
I didn't even hear it.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Yeah, that would never happen with mel though I do
know that. But how do you think it would impact you?
Knowing this is such like a huge this would be
a milestone kind of like when you interviewed Robin Roberts,
Like what was that process?
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Like, Oh, it's good and it's great. Okay, I lived
up to the hype chick.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Okay, Okay, I just wonder you know how they say like,
never meet your heroes.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Right, No, I think Robin would be fine. I still
have plans to meet her in person, and maybe, I
don't know, co host something alongside her on Good Morning America. Yeah,
I'm just putting that out there.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Put that on your calendar.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
You look forward to something to look forward to. Okay,
Well enough about Blinkliss. I think, yeah, we need to
do the We need to do the whole book if
we're going to say that we read it.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
If this was a free thing, I feel like I
would do it because then it could be like, oh,
do I want to read this whole book? Because if
it's good, then I want to read the rest of it.
But it's it sounds like it's a subscription, so I'm
not going to pay to get a summary of a
book to then read more books.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
I got cha. That makes sense.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
It's great, great business idea, though good for whoever created it.
I wonder if they have to pay the people that
write the books to put their summaries on there.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
That's what I was wondering.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
That feels like it's a rip off, right, Yeah, they're
making money off of people not reading their books.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
You're taking away from Yeah, someone going out and buying
that person's book. Surely I would they.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Have to, but I wouldn't. I wouldn't want my book
on this. Then I would want to say, no, you
can't summarize it.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Yeah. I pulled up the quotes that were next to
the Starbus one and it says, if at first you
don't succeed, skydiving definitely isn't for you. If you think
you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping
with a mosquito.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Oh that's good, that's good.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
The other day, on a Four Things episode, I read
an article about some new research that is saying that
coconut is the best smell now to repel mosquitoes over citronella.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Really, I wonder if they got used to citronella.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I don't know, but I much prefer coconut.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Over that yucky.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah, do not take life too seriously. You will never
get out of it alive. Whatever you do, always give
one hundred percent, unless you're donating blood. Ah. These are funny.
People who wonder whether the glass is half empty are
half full? Are missing the point the glass is refillable. Ooh,
(25:45):
all right, A final one, and this one's from Dolly. Dolly,
pardon a peacock that rests on his tail feathers is
just another turkey. I don't really know what that means, Dolly,
I don't I don't really know what that means. Okay, Kat,
where can people find.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
You on Instagram at at Kat dot Defada and at
You Need Therapy podcast and you can listen to You
Need Therapy podcast wherever you get podcasts.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yeah, and you have your full episodes, which are oftentimes
interviews on Mondays and then couch talks where you do
listener Q and A on Wednesday on Wednesday, Yeah, and
then like here we have Tuesday the fifth Thing with
Me and Kat and on Thursdays it's more of a
full episode interview style ish. On Saturdays there's outweigh My
(26:33):
cousin Amanda every Wednesday now has her soul sessions. Up.
I saw that, my psychic cousin.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I can't wait to listen. Is she going to do
like readings on people? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (26:42):
She did?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
JB.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
Sacks shut up.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Yeah, I just interviewed him again. No, I guess it
was a long time ago.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I was like, wait, that's so cool. I'm interested in that.
I have to go. I have to go listen to that.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah, there's a couple of other people. She's me doing
lots of things. I mean she really her main goal
is she wants people to tap into their highest potential,
and she wants to give them the tools and resources
to do that. But at the same time, she'll do
some live readings, some Q and A some.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I want her to do a live reading of me.
I don't know if I want to do that.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
But aired like, that's the thing, is it?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Like, yeah, if it's like deeply personal.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
It's recorded.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I think that was the problem too. Even with the
sometimes she feels like she's got a sense or something.
She's like, Oh, I don't know if I should.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Say this, get the whole thing.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
She's shown that on the Bobby Boncho before, where she's like,
some stuff's coming through, but I don't feel like I
should say this on air.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Was the JP sax won a live reading.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I don't know it might be out at this point.
I don't know the order. I know she had like
four episodes done, and I think last Wednesday was the
Wednesday before last her trailer went up, and then last
Wednesday I think was her first episode. But every Wednesday
there will be something.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Okay, that's exciting.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
We just look at Soul Sessions, which I didn't know
there could be multiple names. I guess there's multiple Soul sessions,
so you'll want to look for Soul Sessions with Amanda
Rieger Green.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Oh yeah, there's another You Need Therapy podcast. Oh don't
get it confused with mine. Okay, yeah, so you can
have the same name.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
You Need Therapy with kat Defata.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
I didn't know that. Yeah, it was really upsetting.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
It was after is there another four things? With may
be around?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
It came up after I started mine. So there's no
rules on if somebody wanted to start that. I think
that they could. I don't think they will. Oh, I
think that you have a safe name.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Oh. I just pulled out one of my hair. I
was pulling at it and then it couldn't help it.
It just okay, it came out. All right, have the
day you need to have. I'm at radio Amy on
Socials radioamy dot com for links to things four Things,
Gratitude Journal, Amazon Favorites, and stuff like that. So yeah,
(28:54):
Kat and I Weed be out.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Bye bye you
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.