On this episode, Sara Evans (@SaraEvansMusic) joins Bobby Bones at his home to share an inside look of her life and career. She talks about her early days of growing up as one of seven children, beginning to perform at four-years-old and playing in bars young. She also talks about her new song "Pride" and shares the vulnerable meaning behind it. Sara also announced her new podcast, 'Diving In Deep With Sara Evans' will give fans the whole truth and she won't hold back about anything. She reveals what it's like to live with her life on display and opens up about being in therapy. Sara also recalls the extremely hard time she was going through while on Dancing with the Stars and more!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
For me, I always feel like it's the best feeling
in the world to apologize or admit that you were wrong.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Episode four forty two with Sarah Evans. Number one is
like crazy, how about man'swerd for me to sing? Because
I was just singing different songs and I had SuDS
in the bucket and at the SuDS and the bucket
and the bucket.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Or a little bit stronger strong. I don't. I don't
sing hers very good. That's it though.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Yeah, I don't want to do any more of hers,
but Born to Fly was a big one.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
No place that far. Still like great as a vocalist.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Her new single is called Pride, which comes out next week.
This week when was going out? So when this is played,
it's gonna be out tomorrow. Boom Okay, that's how you
know we're not live right now. Also because it's a
podcast podcast. Yes, So she has a podcast as well
called Diving Deep with Sarah Evans, and she gets listeners
(01:05):
and fans insight to her career, her family life, special guests.
Her new album On Broke comes out June seventh. Her
tour is happening now through the middle of September, and
I will say in one of the most awkward slash
beautiful slash, Oh my god, I hope she's not hurt moments.
We have antique furniture in this room, these two chairs,
(01:28):
and I guess I don't know if she's it had
to be our fault. Nobody's ever fallen before, but somebody
probably just didn't say, Hey, I'm.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Just gonna take the blame. It's me. It's all me.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
But she sat down in our chair is old and stupid. Yeah,
and she dumped over before the interview started.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
It's quite the sight, it was.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
And she like bounced back like a champ and like
started giving met crap.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
And I think it made our friendship a little bit stronger.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yeah, Sarah Evans, Episode four four already two of the
Bobby Cast. So you have a podcast, and on your
podcast you should talk about how I have furniture here
that you is the trick furniture I am.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I've already texted my producer and said, the next episode
we're bashing Bobby Bone.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
And that's okay.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
So for the we have a chair and apparently the
chair in the back that okay fair? Why not let
me have it?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Amen?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
And she don't the thing is that ch Hare dumped over.
She dupped over, but she saved her coffee somehow.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
It was.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
It was amazing like that to me. Of all of
it was the most amazing part was.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Here's what she don't know about me. I'm a great.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Athlete and I do know that about you.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yeah, And so I handled it all. I mean, you
should have seen what my muscles were doing. It was
just they were all working holding the coffee.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
It was she.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Wiped out and the coffee above her head still pointed
in the direction of up. And it was like a
whole new respect for Sarah. Like when she walked out,
I was like, Sarah, good to see.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I'm already know everything about you because usually I like
prepare and I did, but as I was looking at
the prepared notes, I was like, already know all this stuff.
And then she said, oh, it's good. She fell backward,
and then I was like, oh God.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
But then I saw her holding the coffee above her head,
and I was like, I'm so torn on what to
feel right now.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
I'm dying of embarrassment, honestly, because my legs were straight
up in the air.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
But you have pants on, thank god, So that does.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I almost didn't wear pants like nothing.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I almost just wore this shirto pull Winnie the Pooh,
You're gonna come over, Whinnie the Poof.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
I felt that. Okay, so you.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Can walk here, I'm walking home.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Actually here do you live close enough to walk home early?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Uh huh?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Like but you could has busy road out there.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Yeah, there's no signewalks and that's that's dangerous way my
day is going.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
So definitely should We got a lot to talk about
with Sarah. We're gonna talk about the new song in
a second, because rarely do I just go I need
to know about this song because I feel like generally
that's a pretty cliche question to ask. However, what I'm
gonna ask you is I need to know about this
song because it feels like there's a lot to it
that is about you intimately and as much as you
(04:09):
want to share, I want to hear.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
If that's fair.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Absolutely, Now, why I'm so interested in entertained by you?
Speaker 3 (04:15):
So? So tell me tell our audience about the podcast.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Well, the podcast is something I've been wanting to do
for a long time because I I've been on I've
been on stage since I was four. I grew up
singing in bars. When I was six years old, I
was watching drunk people's two step singing, I'm having day
dreams about not things.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
You know, I'm six old.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I'm like, what am I talking? What am I singing about?
Our House of the Rising sun about hookers?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Like, wait, that's the animal. House of the Rising sounds
about hookers. Yeah, it's about the house. Yeah, call the
that's about hookers or a house.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I'm just being care can play lunch, you know, I
am stunned, but I'm not moving because of the cherry.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I can play the song I've sang the song I
did not.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Know it's a it's a whorehouse.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Yeah you know what else is hotel in the run?
Speaker 1 (05:11):
How many girl?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
And god?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
You know I'm one and I'm eight years old singing
this song.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Well, I'm thirty seven. When I was singing it about
being a hooker.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Yeah yeah, okay, so you're a kid, You're these songs
are not You're hearing them and it's natural and it's natural.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
But I've but so back so the podcast. I've always
wanted to be that person that shows all sides.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Of who I just saw them when you fell, every
side of it.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
So you saw all sides.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Yeah yeah, I mean literally.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Literally yeah yeah, and tell the fans that I have
on cherry pants, which is funny because I think.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Okay, here we go. Hey, all that's three beeps three,
that's three beefs so far.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
So you are wearing cherry pants. He's not lying about that.
But you did fall gracefully.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Thank you. Anyway. So when during my shows, I like
to talk to my audiences, especially the smaller like evenings
with you know, tours that we do, and they're like
in theaters a couple three thousand people where I can
talk to the audience and be kind of because I'm
kind of a comedian on stage where the really huge
(06:20):
shows you can't do that. So I've always been the
person who wants to do more than just sing because
I know that I'm in.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
A you can provide more than what the expectation is
based on what they know about you.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Yeah, And I know I'm a great singer and songwriter musician,
and that's my gift. But my gift is also I
grew up in a family of seven kids. I'm the
third oldest, and so I also have that old fashioned humor.
I grew up on a farm in Missouri, and so
I always have that old fashion like you know, reab
a kind of Dolly partner stead of humor, and a
lot of times that doesn't come across, you know, with
(06:59):
such serious pictures. Is this one.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yeah, you do look like like one of the cool
housewives in this promo picture.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
No, the glasses looking very expensive. You got the fur
on looks like a lama. I'm guessing it's a blue lama.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah, it's it's weird. I mean, I'm I'm on a lama,
but it looks.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Like I'm so the lama's around your neck wearing any
of your naked got it, got it?
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Got it right.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
You are funny, and you are my favorite kind of
funny with just cutting funny because you it's like you
dja if you don't care if it's the joke and
somebody happens to slightly be.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Hurt, You're like, no, it's a joke.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I like that. Yeah, me too.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I like it when people aren't nice.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
I like it when people don't take things seriously. You know,
it's like such bullshit like that. We that's the fourth bleep.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
We're good finger works.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I woke up trash, I mean, that is just me.
I'm kind of hurt.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Okay, she's grabbing, she's suing me.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
There are parts that hurt.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
And she broke my face from chair, so we're gonna
call out, okay.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
So anyway, and podcasts, So I've been wanting to do that,
and then also just to be honest with you. You know,
I have three kids, and my youngest just turned nineteen,
and then I have twenty one and twenty four, and
they all like it's weird because I've always been an
obsessive mother, you know, like them, I'm just obsessed with
(08:26):
my kids and took them with me on the road
everywhere I went. The two older ones are musicians, and
they really need me now kind of more than ever
in their early twenties, and especially right now because the
world is a really tough place to try and move
out of your parents home and become an adult in
this economy and this you know, it's just like everything's
(08:48):
so expensive. So I find my kids going God, I mean,
I go to the grocery for a few things. So
part of the reason to start the podcast and some
other things that we're doing is so that I can
come off the road a little bit more and be
home more and be more present. Not that not that
any of my kids are living with me. I mean
(09:09):
they're all on their living on their own, but I
just want to kind of be home more. So the
podcast to me is a way to and I'm still
gonna sing on the podcast, but it's actually really really funny.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
And you get to as a podcast and how funny
you are. Honestly, people can learn about you in long form, right,
which is the greatest because that's where the real relationships
are made, at least like our audience right right. You know,
we're on and like four hundred cities live, but our
podcast like people come and they come to us for
a real they purposefully come and download and stream and
(09:44):
hopefully they feel like they have a relationship with us
because we share so much. We relate or we don't
relate or it's fun. But I think you're perfect for
that because again, you have one you're super vulnerable, but
you're also really funny, and that's a hard juxtaposition to
balance just right where you can be serious but you
can also bust somebody's shops at the same time. That's
why I think it's a place where you're thriving.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yes, and I my humor is never meant to hurt,
you know, people like hurt your feelings, like you mentioned earlier,
but it's more about which this is. You're the same way,
just trying to make people laugh and people are funny,
you know. I think it's fun to point out funny
things that people do. Like last night, we were somewhere
(10:23):
and we were listening to my album and there was
a person there and she decided, I'm.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Just gonna go for I know you're new to the
microphone thing, but you have talking to the microphone.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Oh sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
She was doing a whole physical bit again, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
So she was reaching for a piece of candy and
during the beginning of this most serious song that we're
gonna listen to and I'm gonna explain it to you,
it was like trying to get the candy open. And
finally I was just like, I have to stop and
point this out. And it probably humiliated her, but.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
It's worth it but her and she'll love it later.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
It wasn't raised well because she I would never let
my kids open a piece of candy during a song
that you.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Know, a weird thing to teach them, because I never
think that would come up, like no candy during songs,
but I definitely feel that, Yeah, it's and she'll always
have that memory of always being in the front row
and being roasted by.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Sarah's humiliated me. Yeah, she's happy that I fell today.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
I wish she gets this to her is yes, yes, okay,
now to be able to switch from that, because I
want to go to Pride now. This is something that
when I listened to the song, I was like, holy crap,
like here you are, guts and all, yes, go and
uh I want to you know, have my you know,
tell I have a thought of it, but I want
(11:41):
to hear it because it does feel very personal. Tell
me about pride and why you decided to put so
many personal feelings and thoughts into it.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
So, you know, my life has been on display since
I got my record deal with RCA at twenty four,
and I went through a very public divorce after having
three small chill My baby wasn't even a year old
when I filed for divorce. I was on Dancing with
the Stars during that time. So my life has always
(12:08):
been a very open book and in some ways but
then in some ways I've been able to maintain some privacy.
A lot of that is because we raised the kids
in Birmingham, Alabama, in Mountain Brook, which is a close
to Birmingham. So I divorced my first husband. That was
so public. There were so many lies told, and just
(12:31):
you know how it goes, I mean rumors and people
think they know. And so then I Mary Jay. We
had a really really fast courtship. You know, we fell
head over hills, madly in love, so much passion, so
much you know, love for each other and just you're
my best friend, You're my person. And I just couldn't
(12:52):
believe that I that that had happened to me, because
I also spent my childhood from age twelve on chasing
after my father because he was a great person but
a terrible divorced dad. And so I definitely have you know,
quote daddy issues, and so I'm always thinking wrongly about
(13:16):
what love is and what I deserve. Also being one
of seven kids and being the one who made it.
When all my siblings are musically talented, they're great. I've
always had a sense of guilt that I carry for
why did I get rich? Why did I get famous.
Why did I and not my siblings. But at the
same time, I'm the one who worked my ass for it. Yeah,
(13:41):
left holl me. That's what WARNI flies about. That song
is about me leaving home and loving my home, but
knowing that I've got to leave my family come here
and do this. And one brother that came with me
and he became just as successful as a musician. So
so there's all that going on in my head. I
meet Jay and he is so attentive, he's so you know,
(14:03):
buying me gifts all the time. And and like I said,
our courtship was very fast. We our first date was
October third, and we were married in June of that
same year of two thousand and eight. So there's a
song on the album called Mask where I talk about
you know, you weren't him, meaning you weren't my ex husband.
So that's what drew me because you were the opposite
(14:25):
of that. What happened is Jay he has his own
set of issues like we all do, you know, psychologically,
And so I grew up very old fashioned, like I said,
on a farm in Missouri, where you know, women are
submissive to their husbands, women do all the you know,
(14:45):
in domestic where although my mother worked out on the
farm as well on a tractor all the time. But
my granny, for instance, he was my idol, was just
dote over my papa and all of us. And so
that's what I grew up thinking. You know, you've got
to be this way. And I also enjoy that because
it's a good juxtaposition of being famous and then.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Like now you enjoy it because it's so crazy on
one side that you need that balance. Yeah, then your
only model was that. It sounds like like growing up,
that was the only model you knew.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
That was the only model I knew. Yes, And on
the road, if I wanted my tour manager to find
me a brown and white spotted cow and sit it
in front of the bus just so I can look
at it all day before my show, like he would
have to do that. A live one, A live one, yeah,
for sure, I wouldn't want to be dead.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
But no, like a plastic one. When I meant not
a dead one.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
A real one.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
I got a real cow.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Yeah, I mean whatever I wanted. If if I wanted
it to be plastic, he would have to do that.
Because I have a team, and so at home I
like to be like Hannah Montana. I'm Handa Montana here,
but at home, I'm just Sarah and mom and wife.
And I think I've always felt the need to really
make up for you know, being uh, being doted on
(16:06):
the way I'm doted on.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Hank Ty.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
The Bobby Cast will be right back, and we're back
on the Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Do you feel guilty that you're so celebrated outwardly everywhere
people that don't really know you.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
They know a little bit about you, but you know,
you play a show. It's happy for me. It was
a struggle. I'd play a theater. Do you stand up?
I'll be like, I'll go back.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
To my room by myself, and I'll be like, well,
I'm here by myself, and this kind of sucks now,
but now at all. Now I got married two years ago, now,
but now I have a wife, and like, I come
home and I got a freaking load the dishwasher and
I hate it. But at the same time, it actually
makes me value what's important, the real Yeah, it's like
drags me back to the real things and helps me
evaluate life.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
A little more exactly.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
So you're you're dealing with that.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Yes, thinking and you know, Jay struggled with so you know,
he played football Alabama, he was the quarterback, won the
national championship in ninety two, went on to play in
the NFL, played for the CFL. He's been concussed severely
seven times that he knows about that. He knows about
(17:21):
twice where he was.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Be careful in that chair there, twice where.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
He was unconscious. So and then he in the same
way that I have father issues, he also has mother issues.
And his father passed away when he was very young,
when he was in the Columbine actually for the NFL.
His dad died of a heart attack. His dad was
his best friend, his like kind of protector against everybody
(17:50):
who wanted to get at him for being the national
championship quarterback at Alabama, which was like Elvis down there.
So when he met me and realized that I was
super submissive and you know, total family woman and that
the career was just my job. But I didn't let
it go to my head and all that, he just
(18:11):
you know, would brag on me and like, you're the
best mom I've ever met. I can't even believe what
a great mom you are. Your children are fabulous you're
such a great person. You're the best singer in the world,
Like just so you know, all all things that are true,
by the way, but he treated me like a queen
(18:31):
and then and he had also never drank until he
was in his mid thirties. Because when we were dating,
I was like, really, you've never drank. And I'm not
a big drinker, like my kids have never seen me drunk.
But I was like, well, what do you do at
the beach? Like that's weird.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
And not go, I've never had a drink. That's why
I hate the beach.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
You've never had a drink. You've never drank. No, Okay,
that's how Jay was when we met.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
And I hate the beach because what do I do
at the beach? Right? Yeah, maybe that's why I hate
the beach because I always like so much a light. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
I was like, no, I've never had a drink of
alcohol because I come yeah, come from drug abuse and
alcohol abuse, and I don't understand the beach. That makes
sense for the first time ever. Yeah, because that's what
you're supposed to do.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Yeah, drink.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
We have made so many like yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
I know we're we're best friends and we're best Friendeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
They are, so I probably won't see you now, but anyway.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
I'm still going to sue you for the chair though.
Any Way ahead, yeah, continue on.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
So then he tried alcohol, and alcohol was you know,
it isn't good for him. It does run in his family,
his mother's side, but he never experienced because his grandfather
passed away when Jay was really young, so he didn't
ever see that side of of his mom's dad being
(19:49):
abusive and being an alcoholic. So I think that and
Jay also has ad D really bad. Like I said,
He's been concussed so many times, so he I always
say that he's an amazing man who made some really
really bad decisions. So after a little while into our marriage,
(20:16):
abuse came into our marriage, and I didn't want to
put my kids through another divorce. I was so in
love with Jay, and it takes a long time before
you realize what's going on, like am I being abused?
Or was that was that verbal abuse? Or you know,
(20:38):
you kind of but at the same time, you know,
you just kind of want to hope that it changes.
Or then I began what they call like managing his behavior,
trying never to be you know, too big for him
like as far as because I have a big personality,
(21:00):
and so I noticed a lot of things about myself
were changing to suit him and to make sure that
he was always happy with me.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I mean it sounds a bit like you're falling into
a codependency place just so, yes, you two could function
in your mind in the most healthy way.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
That is exactly right. I'm very codependent, and part of
it is having six siblings. So I've never been alone.
I've never you know, I don't think I've ever went
through a time in my life where I was sleeping
alone or living alone because it was either always a
sibling or a spouse and so and I got married
very young the first time. Anyway, Uh so once you
(21:41):
real do you realize? Then the process for me was
I started reading everything about anything I could get my
hands on, like, you know, what does this mean when
this happens? And that really started getting my mind going
into you know, this is bad, like what what we're
(22:03):
dealing with is bad? And but it never ever happened
in front of anybody. The kids didn't know. He never
even so much as looked sideways at them, raised his
voice to them. He's he is an amazing father, and
he's an amazing husband, an amazing person, but he alcohol
I just don't think goes well with his chemistry, makeup
(22:26):
or whatever. And it alcohol makes me happy, Alcohol makes
him and a lot of people like angry. And I
noticed that a lot of people when they are drunk,
they sort of and you're you are not a drinker,
so you'll know this too. But don't you notice that
person that kind of comes for you when they're drunk.
You ever seen that?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Now at this point, I have a bodyguard, so I
just say get him, get guy out of Mostly I
would see that emotionally, yes, yes, with family.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
With family, yea, yes.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
They come for you when they're drinking or drunk.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Then you're like, what do you really feel this way?
Like yeah, really resent or not like me, even though
I feel like we're close, Like right, where is that
rooted from? Because I don't know what it's like to
be drunk, so I don't know, yeah, to just have
a random emotion because of alcohol totally.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
I mean, like some people say they can only drink
tequila because tequila keeps them happy all night long, and
you know they can go but you know, like for instance,
my son and I always joke because we're so much alike.
But if we go to a restaurant, like in the
afternoon and have a late lunch and we each get
a blue Moon, that beer blue Moon, we both get
(23:35):
in the worst mood and we're both like grumpy, and
I'm like, oh my god, I have the blue Moon grumpies,
like it's terrible. He's the same way, and so that
particular alcohol does that to me. It makes me agitated
and easily irritated. So we we got to a place
in twenty twenty where, you know, we something really bad happened.
(23:57):
We had a horrible fight, and I decided that we
needed to separate, and the kids were all out of
to Avery was living on his own. Both my girls
were at the beach, and it was over July fourth,
twenty twenty. So I finally just basically said, you know,
(24:17):
it sounds so disrespectful, but like I kicked him out.
I mean, you know, I just knew that we were
going to a place that was very bad. And so
we stayed separated off and on for two years, and
then January seventeenth of twenty twenty one, right or twenty two,
(24:38):
he had arrested and I didn't even know he had
been arrested. We were across the street at our neighbors
having a bonfire, and we were walking back home across
the street, and he was there, and I think he
had gotten to that place where he was like so
worried that I would move on, so worried that I
would quote cheat, because we were still married, and you know,
(25:03):
nothing of the sort ever crossed my mind because I
was so in love with him, still still was still am,
but I just wanted him to change and just if
you'll just stop doing that, then we have such a
great life and family and marriage and we have money
and we're we're you know, we're great, Like why are
you deliberately risking such a beautiful family and marriage and
(25:28):
together we have seven kids and all that. So I
think he was really really worried that I was going
to move on, and so he was there. He shouldn't
have been there. He knows that it was after one am,
I mean.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
So nothing happens after exactly.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Right, And so one of my children who was with
me jumped out and started, you know, why are you here?
Because from that after we separated, I started talking to
them more and telling them more. I still didn't tell
them everything, but I just said, you know, we've had
a hard time. And they were shocked because they've never
seen that side of him ever. And so my child
(26:10):
called the police because you know, she was scared, and
police came and we were like, it's fine, now he's gone.
And I tried to text him, but I think his
phone it went in greens. Either he blocked me or
his phone died.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
And about Android real quick to say, what quickly about
an Android phone could have done that?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
He could have gotten super fashion and missing. Yeah, I
mean that's that would have caused me to go through
with the divorce. Yeah, But I couldn't get through to him.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
I wanted to.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
I was trying to say that we called the police,
so you need to go back to your hotel and
you know, stay away. I was very worried about him,
and so he came back a little bit later and
the police were there. They said, well, we'll just kind
of stay on your street whatever. They arrested him, and
(27:01):
so I woke up the next morning with all these
calls from him, all these calls from my brother, different people.
I had no idea that he had been arrested. And
so I called a friend of ours and I said,
you need to come up from Birmingham, get him out
of jail, get him home safely, and we'll go from there.
You know. So about two or three months later he
(27:23):
texted me and said, everybody says, well, let me back up.
So during this time, I had started writing this record,
and you know, you, as you know, the artists start
a year or two before, especially if you're going to
try to ride everything, which I do, so it's a
long process leaning up to it. I had been writing
(27:46):
all these songs that were just really really really country
and really sad and very like George and Tammy and
two story House kind of songs. And then when that happened,
that was like the lowest of lows because his whole
family was mad at me, his kids, his mom, his sister,
(28:09):
because everybody thought I had him arrested, which I did not,
and then everybody thought that I was putting it out
in the press, which I did not. I didn't say
a word. We turned off all comments on Instagram and
Facebook and Twitter, and so a couple months later he
texted me and said, everybody says that I shouldn't talk
(28:30):
to you. I shouldn't take this chance. But you are
still my wife, you know, And that's kind of all
he said. And that just like broke my heart because
I was missing him so bad. And I think we
both knew that we were meant to be together and
we should be together, but we both knew that there
was a serious problem. And he started realizing, I've got
a serious problem, and I'm going to lose everybody if
(28:51):
I don't get this figured out, if I don't change.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
He hit his bottom. That was his body someone to
have to change.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
My mom an example, she ended up, you know, dying
in her forties because she was an addict, and but
you know, she would we would check her into rehabs,
but she wasn't at her bottom and she would be
like I can. But it took her hitting her bottom
and tragically she died. But she was never going to
get better until she had the point to go, I
have to get better. Yeah, And it feels like that
(29:18):
maybe was that for him to go I have to
get better now.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Yes, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Oh no, it's yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
I mean you can relate, so I don't mind talking
about it with you. So it's a body. He hit
a place that actually was bad but made him want
to achieve a more healthier version for him and for you.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Because he had always you know, he had grown up
in that southern like we have to look great, and
that's the only thing that matters, is how we look
as a family and what image we project. And so
following the arrest and having to be in the court
system and all that and deal with that, and I
(29:55):
did not press charges. I mean, I didn't want him
to anything else to happen in that regard, and but
he was ordered to do like this class and it
was all on zoom. He told me, he said, I
thought I would go in there and just be like,
this is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
I'm not like these people like clock in get through it, yeah,
not really relate or.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Not like yeah, that's not me.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I'm you know. And he said that he realized that
he was one of the worst ones in there, and
I think that's what, like, the arrest was his bottom,
but then that was his real bottom because that humiliated him,
but in the best way possible because you and then
he's like, I'm getting arrested was the best thing that
(30:42):
ever happened to me, because obviously you would hate every
second of that and eighteen hours you know, spent in jail,
and you would just never, you know, want to go
through anything like that again. So he he started asking me,
would you go to counseling, And at first I was
saying no, because every time we had tried counseling, he
(31:03):
wouldn't be honest, and he would look at the therapist
and be like, see, see this is what she does.
You know she's so it was always a waste. And
so he agreed to do that and agreed to get
his own therapists and then pay for my therapist and
pay for everything for me. And there were some you know, major,
(31:24):
major things that he did for me that showed me
that he really did, you know, love me and care
about me, and care about the kids, and obviously they're
his kids. I mean. So he started therapy, I started therapy.
(31:45):
We started therapy together, and for the for a year
at least, he was renting a house up here, just
five minutes away. We would do our therapy and then
maybe meet for dinner and just kind of slowly and
I was gonna let the therapist guide me as far as.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
What yours or y'all's but both.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
You know. And then I made him come to therapy
with me, and then I went to therapy with him
because I wanted to make sure he was telling his
therapist the truth. You know, you can you can go
to therapy all you want, but if you're sitting there lying,
you know, there's no use because they're not going to
be able to really help you. And I think after
doing that class that he had to do, he was
(32:29):
no longer embarrassed about talking about it. He got accustomed
to it. And that thing lasted almost a year, So
that was really good for him. And it's great to
come clean, you know. It's like for me, I always
feel like it's the best feeling in the world to
apologize or admit that you were wrong. I think that's
(32:51):
the best feeling in the world. And I think he
feels that way too. So right after the arrest, I
met with my Ideas and Sean McConnell and I was
going to write with him for the first time. I
sat there and I said, well, I want to write
a song about pride, about because that's my husband's issue
(33:12):
is he's so prideful. He was raised to be prideful.
And so I told him the whole story about the arrest.
I was crying, and you know, it was like this
I mean. And so every writing appointment would start off
with me telling them for forty five minutes what's been
going on. Every co writer would be like wow, whoa like?
(33:32):
And then we would start writing. So we wrote Pride
and that there's always a center song for me on
every album, and like Born to Fly was a center song,
Said's in the Bucket was a center song for that album.
I knew that this was the center song. This was
going to be the song that we based the whole
(33:54):
record off of. And where does Pride go? And so
now that the album is coming out, it's so we've
been in therapy for a year and a half and
we've been back together, living together since November, and so
we will be in therapy till we die. And it's
it's a miraculous change. And obviously it doesn't Statistically that
(34:18):
almost never happens, you know, It's it's very rare to
end up where we are now. But I knew that
there's a song on there called Mask that I knew
that Jay was wearing a mask, and then if he
would just take that mask off and be feel free
(34:39):
and vulnerable enough to just be who he is and
not have to worry about what people think of him.
That that would help him so much, and that would
have helped our marriage so much and saved us a
lot of heartache. So the song Pride, I don't know
if you want to listen.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
To it, I'll listen to or about to play it.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Okay, we'll play it, and then after we play it,
then I'll tell you what I had great talk to
Jay about before we released it.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Okay, we're gonna play Pride. This is Sarah Evans. By
the way, the song, this song is there, but the
whole record comes out in June, the whole body of work. Yes,
so here's Pride from Sarah Evans. Will come back with
Sarah in just a second. Okay, that was Pride from
Sarah Evans. Okay, now we've heard the song where do
We Go?
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Well?
Speaker 1 (35:21):
And I asked Jay, because you know, Pride was written
two years ago. I wrote every song but one on
this record, so the whole album is just you know,
about about our journey. But I said, if you want
me to, I will change it to third person and
make it like a story song.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
So maybe he didn't feel like, I don't know, attacked
or defensive.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Defensive, embarrassed sure tat all of it, you know, And
he said, absolutely not. You're not changing one word on
the song. You don't need to worry about me because
this is the truth, and it's a song that you
wrote and probably the best song you've ever written. And
everything about this album, this project, your podcast, everything is
(36:11):
needs to be honest. And he said, you know, how
can I truly continue to get better and be a
better man if I were to say, yeah, turn that
song into third person so that I don't have to
be embarrassed? You know, that's not doing the true work,
you know.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Because it sounds like he learned accountability, and I've had
to learn accountability in different ways too. I have my
own therapist, and my wife and I go to therapy
because we're both such we need to not even get
ahead of it.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
We just need to have.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Maintenance, right, and accountability and a big part of my
life is a big thing that I've had to learn,
not career wise because I got all the accountability there,
but personally. And it sounds like that was a big,
big understanding realization for him.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Yes, because people is struggle, I think, and not that
this is your reason for needing accountability, but every human
being in the world is a narcissist to a degree,
you know, because we all look out for ourselves and
we all like, that's my main goal in life is
to not be a narcissist. And that's what I was
(37:12):
talking about earlier about, you know, being famous and feeling
that guilt like why why should people revere me when
I'm just a farm kid from Missouri. But so I
want to always make sure that I remember it's about
the music. It's people don't know me, you know. They
just love the music, and that's what I want. They
love the product that I'm putting out there. But people
(37:34):
who struggle in any way, shape or form with narcissism,
which could be a barely or a full blown, you know,
psychopathic narcissist. It's hard to take accountability and say you're
wrong because admitting you're wrong is to say you were right,
(37:57):
and that's just kind of possible for some people to no,
I'm always right. I'm And I also think Jay's need
to control everything is a you know, it's kind of
like when when someone has an eating disorder. It's really
more about control, like having control in your life, and
he needs that a lot. That's what we're working on
(38:19):
in therapy. And I don't know if y'all do this,
but we only talk about therapy things in therapy and
then we leave it there and we try not to
talk about it later.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
So, and that's a weird thing for us at first
because we hadn't I'd never even really been on a couple, like,
I had never been engaged, never lived with anybody, never
told anybody I love them because I was never told
that growing up. And so my wife, I met her
when I was thirty nine, I was older to be married,
and we got married, and so I'd never I've been
going to therapy forever, but I've never been to therapy
with somebody else. Hold new experience. There's a whole level
(38:53):
of respect you have to have for other people in
the room that I don't naturally use day to day
because we're just living our lives bouncing around, right. But
in that room, we would go through things and then
we'd start talking about in the car and we made
the rule for twenty four hours, we're not even if
he says, here's homework for you two for twenty four hours.
(39:14):
We're not going to even mention even the homework if
he gives it to us, Yes, because we need that
separation and I and for us that was so beneficial
to us going to therapy.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Together, because when you leave therapy, you're pissed, you're triggered,
you're triggered.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
You're you're supposed to be. That's what that room's for,
that's right.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Yeah, So yeah, we try not to talk about it
all until you know, Wednesday. Wednesday's our therapy day. And
so I kind of I'm a woman, so I can
make a list in my head and remember it, you know,
of all the things that I want to talk about,
because therapy is triggering me a ton, because it's bringing
up all the stuff that I was too afraid to
(39:54):
talk about, you know. And I would worry leaving therapy,
like he's going to be mad because I brought this up.
Now I don't have that fear at all, and I
have no fear at all whatsoever of him, And so
I think he is also so relieved that we're finally
getting help and that we are normal, and part of
(40:17):
helping him is me being normal too, though like you
talked about my codependency, and so my therapy is teaching me.
You know, why would you believe that's okay for anybody
to treat you like that? And you know, naming the
reasons because you know, my my mom she was not
(40:41):
abusive in any way at all, except she just didn't
allow us to speak our emotions. There we're too busy,
we're farming.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
And probably she didn't learn how to speak her emotions.
She didn't, right, I mean, it wasn't that she was
like I'm going to shut him down. She's living the
model that she was taught.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Yeah, she couldn't say I love you, you know, until
we were older. I think that's our parents' generation. I mean,
one day I would be like, how come you never
say I love you too? And my mom is so funny.
I mean she's a comedian and she would you know,
she would say I love me too, like joking, but
it would hurt my feelings. Yeah, you know. So yeah,
(41:16):
we've you know, and I'm sure I'm I'm I mean
my goal with children has been so like to make
them feel loved no matter what, and make them like
every time they walk in the room, I smile and I,
you know, genuinely just they're just amazing people. And that's
(41:41):
the best thing I've ever done in my life is
those kids. And but and Audrey's in the video for
Pride by the Way You're Going to Die. She looks
just like me. She's playing younger me, And so the
video does like these parts where she's walking in and
I'm walking in it, and it's like the same person.
(42:02):
And the video is great too because it's it's a
very male dominated world. It takes place in a strip
club and it's like I used to be a stripper
and I'm watching my younger self and like why did
you go down that road? Why did you make those decisions?
And yeah, So that the video's incredible. But anyway, the
(42:23):
rest of the album as well, is our journey. So
I wrote the song called Unbroke, and I called my
middle daughter and I said, is this dumb? And because
I started thinking about like the studio is so dangerous
for me?
Speaker 3 (42:40):
Yeah, it's all, it's all the next time I'm wearing
like yeah, come in and like padded with those bubbles
on you. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
So I said, is this dumb? Because I started thinking
about generational problems and issues, and so the course says,
she hurt you, you hurt me. We hurt all of
them in one feel sweet, we all went down like Domino's. Yeah,
nobody's heart gets out unbroke, meaning like you know, when
(43:14):
you are doing something that's screwing up a dynamic and
a family, or you're choosing addiction, or you're choosing abuse,
or you're choosing you know, to gamble or whatever you're doing,
like nobody in your sphere is going to get out
of that unbroke. Well, we decided to name the album
(43:35):
unbroke because we're all back together now. You know, we've
had so many conversations between him and the kids and
you know, me and his kids, and that we are.
We do feel unbroke, and I'm so grateful to God
for that. But then there's another song called I Want
(43:56):
to Be Wrong that I just cried for eight hours
while we were trying to write it because it's me
saying I want to be wrong about you. I want
you know, so it's just starting.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
That's interesting. Yeah, that's an interesting way to express that emotion.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Because I wanted to be wrong about them, like.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
I never want to be wrong. Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
Same but I did want to be wrong about him
because of me.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
That's a really clever way to express that emotion.
Speaker 1 (44:20):
Thanks. Well, when I leave, you listen to it and
you'll cry. It is so sad. It's just I mean,
relationships are so difficult. And I never ever ever thought, see,
people are going to think that I said this is
what people are going to think that I said I
(44:41):
was in an abusive marriage. We went to therapy and
boom more magically fine, and we're back together. And that
is the furthest from the truth.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
And I think people will a bit be only because
people don't have nuance anymore, Like we don't have the
capacity to understand nuance being human life, political life. So yes,
I do think, but that's not the case.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
Yeah, and that's not the case with your story totally.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
You can't. I mean, the world is so weird right
now that it can't even be satorical, you know, like
everything is.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
You're canceled.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
If I do any sort of out there and it goes,
it's a wrong way canceled. So you know what it does,
It makes you not really do it as much anymore,
which then hurts everything across the board.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
Yeah, and that's control, and that's what we don't want.
We don't want to be controlled with what we say.
And I don't want people to be so black and
white when they hear my story Because I just said
this yesterday, I say this every day practically, that it's nuanced.
I mean, it's not just you know, if my husband
(45:50):
ever did that, I'd be gone. You know, no, you wouldn't,
and you might say you would, but like it takes
you know, years of building a family, in a marriage
and a love and then you realize, like something's wrong,
and so people are going to criticize me for staying together.
(46:13):
But this is my individual story. People don't know the
ins and outs. I find it hilarious when people, you
know comment like, well it's because he, you know she,
and I'm like, we've never met. You don't know anything
about this situation other than what I've said publicly, So
you can't draw anything from that other than what I've said.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
Oh they can, though, but you will.
Speaker 4 (46:38):
Yeah, the Bobby cast will be right back.
Speaker 3 (46:50):
This is the Bobby cast in real life.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
A lot of times manifest realization because once it happens
to you and it becomes your life and you then
you realize, you know.
Speaker 3 (47:00):
Maybe I was wrong about what I would or wouldn't
do right.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
And it's it's you know, anytime that my I gained
perspective on things, it's never because I wanted to. Perspective
only gain through hard times. It's not like something easy
and fun happens where you're super successful and you're like,
I got all this perspective. Now, no, no, that was easy.
You don't want you don't gain a very valuable tool,
which is perspective, which is empathy, which is through easy things.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
You gain that through real life.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Through real life and hard times. And it's like I'm
you know, we're all supposed to thank God for trials
that we go through because that's how we learn, and
that means that we're being dealt with, and I wanted
I'd rather be dealt with, you know, Like I was
an athlete all through your high school and played softball,
and I always remember coach saying, if I'm not talking
(47:48):
to you, I then I don't care about you, and
I don't think you're good if I'm screaming at you,
you know, so I want to be dealt with. I
don't want to be ignored and I want to learn
and mistakes from my mistakes. But so I don't want
anybody listening to look. If you're in a dangerous situation,
(48:11):
you need to get out, period. And I did, I
mean I suck. I mean I I got myself away
from the situation. I filed for divorce, I did all
the things. But we're working very, very very hard stay
(48:31):
together because we love each other very much.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
Yeah, And all sickness is and death.
Speaker 3 (48:36):
Every time you get sick, you don't die.
Speaker 2 (48:38):
And that's right, you know, even in relationships, would be
a friend's professional whatever. There's always going to be illnesses. Correct,
You don't you don't have to kill everything because of it.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
You can work through it, you can get healthy, you
can understand why you were affected in a certain way.
But I think that's really I think that's really great
for you to talk about openly, because yes, you will
hear oh, I can't believe. But the people that aren't
saying anything, they're the majority of folks who feel it,
understand and have those I'm glad someone's saying it right
(49:12):
because it's a very common not your specific story, but
your story, my story are stories. They're very common but
people aren't walking around going I got a story to
tell about those those aren't put on Instagram or Facebook.
But it is extremely relatable and it's extremely inspiring to
see someone work through it because it is very hard,
(49:32):
and to see what you can do once you're on
the other side. And also see it doesn't mean it's
all good, right, but it means it can be It
can be great without being always good.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
Absolutely. And I agree with you about you know, not
all sicknesses and death because and I think we live
in a world where people just want to kill everything.
Just kill it if it, if it's something that hurt
your feelings, kill it, if it's something that rubbed you
the wrong way, or you don't think it is right,
just kill it, destroy it, knock it down. It doesn't exist,
(50:04):
it never existed, or it should never exist again. And
I just I don't feel that way. I mean, I
believe in working hard on relationships, any relationships like you
know ours.
Speaker 3 (50:16):
For example, you broke my chair, and you know what,
we're gonna work through that.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
I mean, eventually we will of a therapist.
Speaker 3 (50:25):
That's for us.
Speaker 1 (50:26):
Well, mainly I just need to joint chiropractic Visit would
be fine.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
And I need a wood like a woodworker to come
in that to fly in from France because that chair see.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
It, I mean, see how it's going to be. But
we're working together.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
All sickness is not death.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
Right.
Speaker 4 (50:44):
Let's take a quick pause for a message from our sponsor.
Welcome back to the Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (50:58):
You got the record comes out in but again, pride
is out now. I do want to ask you because
I've taken up an hour of your time already, but
I have a couple other questions I want to ask
you about because you've been so open, Thanks for being
so vulnerable and generous with that story.
Speaker 3 (51:11):
First of all, you're welcome because that's hard to.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
Do, but also I think the reward that others are
going to get from it is massive. But I do
want to talk for a second about Dancing with the Stars.
You mentioned Dancing with the Stars. How was that experience
for you as a show, not what you went through
at the end, Like, as a show? Why did you
do it and how did you feel about doing it?
Speaker 1 (51:31):
I had watched the first season and I loved it.
I thought it was so cool. Then we were doing
CMA Fest and I was playing the stadium, came off stage,
went back to my bus, and the producer of Dancing
with the Stars was on my bus talking to my
manager and so I said, hey, nice to meet you
(51:53):
or whatever, and they said, she produces Dancing with the
Stars and I said, oh my god, I love that show.
I want to be on it. And she was like,
are you serious? You really do and I said yeah.
Then I turned up pregnant. I don't know how that happened.
Speaker 3 (52:08):
You turned up.
Speaker 2 (52:08):
Yeah, that's how you know you're from You're from a
farm in rural America.
Speaker 3 (52:11):
That's what we would.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
Say, turned up pre And so it had to wait.
And so right after Audrey was born, I started like
getting back in shape.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
Had you ever danced before, though, like with any sort
of and I want to say training, but any sort
of lessons or like fun like you're actually learning how
to do a little ball?
Speaker 1 (52:30):
Yeah? No, absolutely not. And I'm a great like two stepper,
I'm good, great at country dancing, but no, And you're
an athlete, and so athletics and music and dancing they
all kind of go hand in hand. And because it's
that part of your brain that says, tell your legs
(52:51):
to do this, and they do it where I don't
know what part of that brain is, but or tell
your voice to do this and it does it. So
that helped, But it was so hard because I was
the only mom on the show and I didn't want
to rehearse more than like six hours. After like six hours,
I would be like I got to get back to
the kids, you know, and I have a baby. I
(53:13):
had two kids and diapers, so that part of it
was extremely difficult, although I I learned a great worth
work ethic from being a farmer, excuse me. And so
then all the stuff started happening with my ex and
(53:35):
he started acting insane and like coming down from Oregon.
We were separated. He kept coming down and he wanted to,
you know, be on the show every week and so
he could be seen in the audience and kept trying
to take the kids back to Oregon, you know, and.
Speaker 3 (53:54):
That's very distracting.
Speaker 2 (53:55):
Well, yeah, I mean it sucks as a life thing,
but also you're trying to do this new endeavor. Yes,
it's hard to focus on anything when something like that
is happening.
Speaker 1 (54:02):
Yes, I remember laying in bed and just going okay,
if I can walk through the whole dance in my head.
Then I've got it, you know, like I don't know
how you.
Speaker 3 (54:14):
I just prayed and cried. Yeah, it was I never
had it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
And the thing that helps me was as soon as
we walked out, and it was the live audience that
made me come alive because I'm so used to that.
Speaker 3 (54:25):
Yeah, I made me peem up pants. Yeah, just a
little though.
Speaker 1 (54:28):
Yeah, I it was very hard. I mean I was
crying all the time, and it was just like there
couldn't have been a worse time for me to do dancing.
Speaker 3 (54:38):
With the stars. That's what I hear. That sucks.
Speaker 2 (54:40):
So you're doing that, yet the distraction is so mad.
It's not even distracting like a hurt toe. It's like
your kids. It's like your real life. Yeah, it's and
you're dealing with that as you're trying this new thing.
Speaker 3 (54:51):
You're being very vulnerable in a new area.
Speaker 1 (54:53):
You feel stupid.
Speaker 2 (54:54):
I mean I did, and I wasn't even dealing with
what you were dealing with at the same time. So
who was your partner Tony Dombalani And how did you
guys get along?
Speaker 1 (55:03):
We did and we still are friends. And but he
was very mean, you know, because he is he foreign. Yeah,
he's from Albania.
Speaker 2 (55:13):
So yeah, so that's their baseline for mean is not
ours exactly. Yeah, to him, he's normal, but they have
they learn in such a like demanding way, like European.
Speaker 1 (55:23):
Yeah, we're so coddled and yeah, we're so spoiled here.
It's you know, we've got it so good and they've
you know, yeah, it's like a sport there and they're
they have to do it and it's considered to be
very manly. And so he would get real, you know,
loud and aggressive, and probably if I wasn't going through
(55:43):
what I was going through, might not have been quite
so sensitive. But he he triggered me a lot, you know,
with because my first husband was.
Speaker 2 (55:55):
Yeah, it just sounds like an unperfect storm or a
perfect storm for what you were going through and meet
somebody else who who's just general sensibilities.
Speaker 3 (56:02):
It's just not the perfect time for.
Speaker 2 (56:04):
You to do that with that person, right, Not that
he did anything wrong, because that's just how he got.
Speaker 3 (56:08):
But yeah, but yes, it is a very tough and it's.
Speaker 1 (56:11):
Hard and you feel really dumb because you don't like
it's like something.
Speaker 2 (56:15):
You're an infant again. Yeah, and toddler, and you're being
talked down to. Even if they're not talking mean to
you, you feel like you're being talked down to because they've
got to explain it, like you're a freaking kid.
Speaker 1 (56:24):
Exactly, and it's like, this is what you do. It
would be like me getting mad at somebody if they
couldn't sing great, like, well, that's not fair because I'm
not a natural dancer.
Speaker 3 (56:35):
You know, how many weeks did you do the show?
Were you on the show?
Speaker 1 (56:38):
I was on I think six weeks.
Speaker 3 (56:39):
That was a long time. I was gonna win, you think?
Speaker 1 (56:42):
So we have inside information that says I was winning
and it was gonna win.
Speaker 2 (56:51):
Would it be for you? I could give you this gift.
You can hold my mirror ball and act like you won.
Speaker 3 (56:55):
Wouldn't that be fine?
Speaker 1 (56:56):
I don't even want to see it.
Speaker 3 (56:58):
We opened that curtain right there, Mike, No, no, no,
just look just just like she said she didn't want
to see it. It's right there. That could have been you.
Speaker 1 (57:06):
That's amazing. Yeah, that is beautiful.
Speaker 3 (57:09):
It is could have been it was. It was really hard.
Speaker 1 (57:12):
Who's your partner?
Speaker 3 (57:14):
Red hair demanding?
Speaker 2 (57:16):
Yeah, I felt like an idiot and a lot of
that was me and I always feel like I'm not
worthy anyway, like that's my big therapy thing. And then
you put me in that situation where I'm not worthy
and I got to figure it.
Speaker 1 (57:28):
Out so embarrassed.
Speaker 2 (57:29):
So it was is the most difficult thing professionally that
I've ever.
Speaker 3 (57:33):
Had to do.
Speaker 1 (57:34):
I agree with you, and I was.
Speaker 3 (57:36):
I never got good. I was not good. I just
found a different way.
Speaker 2 (57:39):
Like I I connected with people so much, but then
trained so hard that if I could just stay middle
to lower like two thirds, I felt like I could
by being extremely honest with vulnerabilities and hey, I suck
at this and I know it, but I'm trying as
hard as I can. Yeah, that connect and I won
And it was crazy and it was crazy. It was
all and I mean they were there amy it was
it was just why When they were.
Speaker 3 (58:00):
Like you want, I was like what, That's amazing. It
was really cool. It's not even about the dance show
to me. It's about how came.
Speaker 2 (58:07):
Yeah, how it made me feel the whole time, not Sharna,
but the situation. Yeah, and that I was able to
just go I have to be coached and I have
to get over myself for a minute and somehow realize
that my trauma is making me feel this way.
Speaker 3 (58:21):
Yes, not her or this.
Speaker 1 (58:26):
You're so right because I could say the same about
Tony that was I have a thing with men, you know,
and so like when when he was mad at me
or yelling at me. And also he's Muslim, so we
were training during his fasting.
Speaker 3 (58:42):
Time, so he was cranky. Obviously he was in.
Speaker 1 (58:44):
The worst mood. And I was like, what do I
gotta do to get you to eat? Like we've got
to know, like, how do you feel about Jesus, because.
Speaker 3 (58:53):
Well, it convert him so he can have a taco. Yeah,
I thought that.
Speaker 1 (58:57):
He said, if you make a donation to our local mom,
then I can break fast. And I was like, they.
Speaker 3 (59:03):
Got a whole wing. Now here's Sarah Evans wing at
the local mosque.
Speaker 1 (59:06):
Yeah, and so he started eating and that did help
because he was in the worst mood for that time
of fasting.
Speaker 2 (59:13):
Well, I'm super grateful that you came over and just shared.
It's not even one specific thing, it's a lot of
so so thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (59:20):
This has been great for me.
Speaker 2 (59:22):
I do want to say, first of all, go follow
Sarah at Sarah Evans music the out today, Pride, it's out,
the song is out, but the record comes out in June,
and Unbroke comes out June seventh.
Speaker 3 (59:34):
I'll say June.
Speaker 2 (59:35):
No one's gonna remember June seventh, but the summer and
we'll talk about it too when it comes out again,
just to remind everybody. And you know I I in
the podcast, Oh yeah, yes, So you can go diving
deep with Sarah.
Speaker 1 (59:45):
Evans, diving in deep, Yeah, dive in deep.
Speaker 2 (59:47):
Diving in deep or diving yeah, diving in deep, diving
in deep.
Speaker 1 (59:52):
Yes with Sarah Evans because that's one of my songs
on my album Words and it's you know, perfect because
it we're just we're we're doing both where I will
just sit and talk and tell a story like getting
hit by a car. That's my first episode is me
telling the story about Jay and what happened. And then
we've got special guests coming on. I don't know if
(01:00:13):
I can say who they are, but like Dennis Quaid
is on, Martinez on Ernest is coming on next week.
Like so it'll be a combo of.
Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
That's great and you should say who's on what's gonna
happen the as sue you. That'll be two lawsuits. That's okay,
you only get two, one from me, one from Ernest.
Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
That's true. That's not bad.
Speaker 3 (01:00:29):
No, that's not bad.
Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
It's not bad.
Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
On Thursday, yeah, I mean then Sarah's on the road
a lot, so Sarah Evans dot Com to see the dates.
It's I mean, you're basically in all the places that
our show airs, but it's you know, Greenville, Texas, like
La Florida, Gainesville, Georgia. I was gonna do the first
few Auburn, Alabama, Virginia, West Virginia, all over.
Speaker 3 (01:00:48):
Go watch Sarah as you heard. You heard our say
she's the greatest singer ever.
Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
You say that I did Okay, good, Yeah, I thought
you did. I just wanted to make sure I said it.
I want to makeure I repeated it the way that
you said it. So seriously, thanks for sharing. Thanks for
being here. It's been really great for me. I hope
you don't leave. You're gonna be like I hate that, dude.
Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
Now we can sit here and talk all day.
Speaker 3 (01:01:07):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
I should come whenever you're ready for me. I'll come
do your podcast. Oh yay, thank you, especially if we
live close that's the only reason, honestly. Yeah, yeah, because
I don't like who cares. But if it's close, I
can go do it. And then right off, my guest.
Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
I'm gonna hold you to that, and I will give
you a sturdy chair.
Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
No, I demand having a three leg chair, so I
have to battle the whole time. Okay, just what you
had to do. That sounds fair, all right, Sarah, good
to see
Speaker 4 (01:01:30):
You you too, Thanks for listening to a Bobby Cast
production
For me, I always feel like it's the best feeling
in the world to apologize or admit that you were wrong.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Episode four forty two with Sarah Evans. Number one is
like crazy, how about man'swerd for me to sing? Because
I was just singing different songs and I had SuDS
in the bucket and at the SuDS and the bucket
and the bucket.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Or a little bit stronger strong. I don't. I don't
sing hers very good. That's it though.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Yeah, I don't want to do any more of hers,
but Born to Fly was a big one.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
No place that far. Still like great as a vocalist.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Her new single is called Pride, which comes out next week.
This week when was going out? So when this is played,
it's gonna be out tomorrow. Boom Okay, that's how you
know we're not live right now. Also because it's a
podcast podcast. Yes, So she has a podcast as well
called Diving Deep with Sarah Evans, and she gets listeners
(01:05):
and fans insight to her career, her family life, special guests.
Her new album On Broke comes out June seventh. Her
tour is happening now through the middle of September, and
I will say in one of the most awkward slash
beautiful slash, Oh my god, I hope she's not hurt moments.
We have antique furniture in this room, these two chairs,
(01:28):
and I guess I don't know if she's it had
to be our fault. Nobody's ever fallen before, but somebody
probably just didn't say, Hey, I'm.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Just gonna take the blame. It's me. It's all me.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
But she sat down in our chair is old and stupid. Yeah,
and she dumped over before the interview started.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
It's quite the sight, it was.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
And she like bounced back like a champ and like
started giving met crap.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
And I think it made our friendship a little bit stronger.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yeah, Sarah Evans, Episode four four already two of the
Bobby Cast. So you have a podcast, and on your
podcast you should talk about how I have furniture here
that you is the trick furniture I am.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I've already texted my producer and said, the next episode
we're bashing Bobby Bone.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
And that's okay.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
So for the we have a chair and apparently the
chair in the back that okay fair? Why not let
me have it?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Amen?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
And she don't the thing is that ch Hare dumped over.
She dupped over, but she saved her coffee somehow.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
It was.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
It was amazing like that to me. Of all of
it was the most amazing part was.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Here's what she don't know about me. I'm a great.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Athlete and I do know that about you.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yeah, And so I handled it all. I mean, you
should have seen what my muscles were doing. It was
just they were all working holding the coffee.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
It was she.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Wiped out and the coffee above her head still pointed
in the direction of up. And it was like a
whole new respect for Sarah. Like when she walked out,
I was like, Sarah, good to see.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I'm already know everything about you because usually I like
prepare and I did, but as I was looking at
the prepared notes, I was like, already know all this stuff.
And then she said, oh, it's good. She fell backward,
and then I was like, oh God.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
But then I saw her holding the coffee above her head,
and I was like, I'm so torn on what to
feel right now.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
I'm dying of embarrassment, honestly, because my legs were straight
up in the air.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
But you have pants on, thank god, So that does.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I almost didn't wear pants like nothing.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I almost just wore this shirto pull Winnie the Pooh,
You're gonna come over, Whinnie the Poof.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
I felt that. Okay, so you.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Can walk here, I'm walking home.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Actually here do you live close enough to walk home early?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Uh huh?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Like but you could has busy road out there.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Yeah, there's no signewalks and that's that's dangerous way my
day is going.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
So definitely should We got a lot to talk about
with Sarah. We're gonna talk about the new song in
a second, because rarely do I just go I need
to know about this song because I feel like generally
that's a pretty cliche question to ask. However, what I'm
gonna ask you is I need to know about this
song because it feels like there's a lot to it
that is about you intimately and as much as you
(04:09):
want to share, I want to hear.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
If that's fair.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Absolutely, Now, why I'm so interested in entertained by you?
Speaker 3 (04:15):
So? So tell me tell our audience about the podcast.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Well, the podcast is something I've been wanting to do
for a long time because I I've been on I've
been on stage since I was four. I grew up
singing in bars. When I was six years old, I
was watching drunk people's two step singing, I'm having day
dreams about not things.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
You know, I'm six old.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I'm like, what am I talking? What am I singing about?
Our House of the Rising sun about hookers?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Like, wait, that's the animal. House of the Rising sounds
about hookers. Yeah, it's about the house. Yeah, call the
that's about hookers or a house.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I'm just being care can play lunch, you know, I
am stunned, but I'm not moving because of the cherry.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I can play the song I've sang the song I
did not.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Know it's a it's a whorehouse.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Yeah you know what else is hotel in the run?
Speaker 1 (05:11):
How many girl?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
And god?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
You know I'm one and I'm eight years old singing
this song.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Well, I'm thirty seven. When I was singing it about
being a hooker.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Yeah yeah, okay, so you're a kid, You're these songs
are not You're hearing them and it's natural and it's natural.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
But I've but so back so the podcast. I've always
wanted to be that person that shows all sides.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Of who I just saw them when you fell, every
side of it.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
So you saw all sides.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Yeah yeah, I mean literally.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Literally yeah yeah, and tell the fans that I have
on cherry pants, which is funny because I think.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Okay, here we go. Hey, all that's three beeps three,
that's three beefs so far.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
So you are wearing cherry pants. He's not lying about that.
But you did fall gracefully.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Thank you. Anyway. So when during my shows, I like
to talk to my audiences, especially the smaller like evenings
with you know, tours that we do, and they're like
in theaters a couple three thousand people where I can
talk to the audience and be kind of because I'm
kind of a comedian on stage where the really huge
(06:20):
shows you can't do that. So I've always been the
person who wants to do more than just sing because
I know that I'm in.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
A you can provide more than what the expectation is
based on what they know about you.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Yeah, And I know I'm a great singer and songwriter musician,
and that's my gift. But my gift is also I
grew up in a family of seven kids. I'm the
third oldest, and so I also have that old fashioned humor.
I grew up on a farm in Missouri, and so
I always have that old fashion like you know, reab
a kind of Dolly partner stead of humor, and a
lot of times that doesn't come across, you know, with
(06:59):
such serious pictures. Is this one.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yeah, you do look like like one of the cool
housewives in this promo picture.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
No, the glasses looking very expensive. You got the fur
on looks like a lama. I'm guessing it's a blue lama.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah, it's it's weird. I mean, I'm I'm on a lama,
but it looks.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Like I'm so the lama's around your neck wearing any
of your naked got it, got it?
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Got it right.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
You are funny, and you are my favorite kind of
funny with just cutting funny because you it's like you
dja if you don't care if it's the joke and
somebody happens to slightly be.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Hurt, You're like, no, it's a joke.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I like that. Yeah, me too.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I like it when people aren't nice.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
I like it when people don't take things seriously. You know,
it's like such bullshit like that. We that's the fourth bleep.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
We're good finger works.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I woke up trash, I mean, that is just me.
I'm kind of hurt.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Okay, she's grabbing, she's suing me.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
There are parts that hurt.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
And she broke my face from chair, so we're gonna
call out, okay.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
So anyway, and podcasts, So I've been wanting to do that,
and then also just to be honest with you. You know,
I have three kids, and my youngest just turned nineteen,
and then I have twenty one and twenty four, and
they all like it's weird because I've always been an
obsessive mother, you know, like them, I'm just obsessed with
(08:26):
my kids and took them with me on the road
everywhere I went. The two older ones are musicians, and
they really need me now kind of more than ever
in their early twenties, and especially right now because the
world is a really tough place to try and move
out of your parents home and become an adult in
this economy and this you know, it's just like everything's
(08:48):
so expensive. So I find my kids going God, I mean,
I go to the grocery for a few things. So
part of the reason to start the podcast and some
other things that we're doing is so that I can
come off the road a little bit more and be
home more and be more present. Not that not that
any of my kids are living with me. I mean
(09:09):
they're all on their living on their own, but I
just want to kind of be home more. So the
podcast to me is a way to and I'm still
gonna sing on the podcast, but it's actually really really funny.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
And you get to as a podcast and how funny
you are. Honestly, people can learn about you in long form, right,
which is the greatest because that's where the real relationships
are made, at least like our audience right right. You know,
we're on and like four hundred cities live, but our
podcast like people come and they come to us for
a real they purposefully come and download and stream and
(09:44):
hopefully they feel like they have a relationship with us
because we share so much. We relate or we don't
relate or it's fun. But I think you're perfect for
that because again, you have one you're super vulnerable, but
you're also really funny, and that's a hard juxtaposition to
balance just right where you can be serious but you
can also bust somebody's shops at the same time. That's
why I think it's a place where you're thriving.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yes, and I my humor is never meant to hurt,
you know, people like hurt your feelings, like you mentioned earlier,
but it's more about which this is. You're the same way,
just trying to make people laugh and people are funny,
you know. I think it's fun to point out funny
things that people do. Like last night, we were somewhere
(10:23):
and we were listening to my album and there was
a person there and she decided, I'm.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Just gonna go for I know you're new to the
microphone thing, but you have talking to the microphone.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Oh sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
She was doing a whole physical bit again, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
So she was reaching for a piece of candy and
during the beginning of this most serious song that we're
gonna listen to and I'm gonna explain it to you,
it was like trying to get the candy open. And
finally I was just like, I have to stop and
point this out. And it probably humiliated her, but.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
It's worth it but her and she'll love it later.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
It wasn't raised well because she I would never let
my kids open a piece of candy during a song
that you.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Know, a weird thing to teach them, because I never
think that would come up, like no candy during songs,
but I definitely feel that, Yeah, it's and she'll always
have that memory of always being in the front row
and being roasted by.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Sarah's humiliated me. Yeah, she's happy that I fell today.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
I wish she gets this to her is yes, yes, okay,
now to be able to switch from that, because I
want to go to Pride now. This is something that
when I listened to the song, I was like, holy crap,
like here you are, guts and all, yes, go and
uh I want to you know, have my you know,
tell I have a thought of it, but I want
(11:41):
to hear it because it does feel very personal. Tell
me about pride and why you decided to put so
many personal feelings and thoughts into it.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
So, you know, my life has been on display since
I got my record deal with RCA at twenty four,
and I went through a very public divorce after having
three small chill My baby wasn't even a year old
when I filed for divorce. I was on Dancing with
the Stars during that time. So my life has always
(12:08):
been a very open book and in some ways but
then in some ways I've been able to maintain some privacy.
A lot of that is because we raised the kids
in Birmingham, Alabama, in Mountain Brook, which is a close
to Birmingham. So I divorced my first husband. That was
so public. There were so many lies told, and just
(12:31):
you know how it goes, I mean rumors and people
think they know. And so then I Mary Jay. We
had a really really fast courtship. You know, we fell
head over hills, madly in love, so much passion, so
much you know, love for each other and just you're
my best friend, You're my person. And I just couldn't
(12:52):
believe that I that that had happened to me, because
I also spent my childhood from age twelve on chasing
after my father because he was a great person but
a terrible divorced dad. And so I definitely have you know,
quote daddy issues, and so I'm always thinking wrongly about
(13:16):
what love is and what I deserve. Also being one
of seven kids and being the one who made it.
When all my siblings are musically talented, they're great. I've
always had a sense of guilt that I carry for
why did I get rich? Why did I get famous.
Why did I and not my siblings. But at the
same time, I'm the one who worked my ass for it. Yeah,
(13:41):
left holl me. That's what WARNI flies about. That song
is about me leaving home and loving my home, but
knowing that I've got to leave my family come here
and do this. And one brother that came with me
and he became just as successful as a musician. So
so there's all that going on in my head. I
meet Jay and he is so attentive, he's so you know,
(14:03):
buying me gifts all the time. And and like I said,
our courtship was very fast. We our first date was
October third, and we were married in June of that
same year of two thousand and eight. So there's a
song on the album called Mask where I talk about
you know, you weren't him, meaning you weren't my ex husband.
So that's what drew me because you were the opposite
(14:25):
of that. What happened is Jay he has his own
set of issues like we all do, you know, psychologically,
And so I grew up very old fashioned, like I said,
on a farm in Missouri, where you know, women are
submissive to their husbands, women do all the you know,
(14:45):
in domestic where although my mother worked out on the
farm as well on a tractor all the time. But
my granny, for instance, he was my idol, was just
dote over my papa and all of us. And so
that's what I grew up thinking. You know, you've got
to be this way. And I also enjoy that because
it's a good juxtaposition of being famous and then.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Like now you enjoy it because it's so crazy on
one side that you need that balance. Yeah, then your
only model was that. It sounds like like growing up,
that was the only model you knew.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
That was the only model I knew. Yes, And on
the road, if I wanted my tour manager to find
me a brown and white spotted cow and sit it
in front of the bus just so I can look
at it all day before my show, like he would
have to do that. A live one, A live one, yeah,
for sure, I wouldn't want to be dead.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
But no, like a plastic one. When I meant not
a dead one.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
A real one.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
I got a real cow.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Yeah, I mean whatever I wanted. If if I wanted
it to be plastic, he would have to do that.
Because I have a team, and so at home I
like to be like Hannah Montana. I'm Handa Montana here,
but at home, I'm just Sarah and mom and wife.
And I think I've always felt the need to really
make up for you know, being uh, being doted on
(16:06):
the way I'm doted on.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Hank Ty.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
The Bobby Cast will be right back, and we're back
on the Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Do you feel guilty that you're so celebrated outwardly everywhere
people that don't really know you.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
They know a little bit about you, but you know,
you play a show. It's happy for me. It was
a struggle. I'd play a theater. Do you stand up?
I'll be like, I'll go back.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
To my room by myself, and I'll be like, well,
I'm here by myself, and this kind of sucks now,
but now at all. Now I got married two years ago, now,
but now I have a wife, and like, I come
home and I got a freaking load the dishwasher and
I hate it. But at the same time, it actually
makes me value what's important, the real Yeah, it's like
drags me back to the real things and helps me
evaluate life.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
A little more exactly.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
So you're you're dealing with that.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Yes, thinking and you know, Jay struggled with so you know,
he played football Alabama, he was the quarterback, won the
national championship in ninety two, went on to play in
the NFL, played for the CFL. He's been concussed severely
seven times that he knows about that. He knows about
(17:21):
twice where he was.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Be careful in that chair there, twice where.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
He was unconscious. So and then he in the same
way that I have father issues, he also has mother issues.
And his father passed away when he was very young,
when he was in the Columbine actually for the NFL.
His dad died of a heart attack. His dad was
his best friend, his like kind of protector against everybody
(17:50):
who wanted to get at him for being the national
championship quarterback at Alabama, which was like Elvis down there.
So when he met me and realized that I was
super submissive and you know, total family woman and that
the career was just my job. But I didn't let
it go to my head and all that, he just
(18:11):
you know, would brag on me and like, you're the
best mom I've ever met. I can't even believe what
a great mom you are. Your children are fabulous you're
such a great person. You're the best singer in the world,
Like just so you know, all all things that are true,
by the way, but he treated me like a queen
(18:31):
and then and he had also never drank until he
was in his mid thirties. Because when we were dating,
I was like, really, you've never drank. And I'm not
a big drinker, like my kids have never seen me drunk.
But I was like, well, what do you do at
the beach? Like that's weird.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
And not go, I've never had a drink. That's why
I hate the beach.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
You've never had a drink. You've never drank. No, Okay,
that's how Jay was when we met.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
And I hate the beach because what do I do
at the beach? Right? Yeah, maybe that's why I hate
the beach because I always like so much a light. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
I was like, no, I've never had a drink of
alcohol because I come yeah, come from drug abuse and
alcohol abuse, and I don't understand the beach. That makes
sense for the first time ever. Yeah, because that's what
you're supposed to do.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Yeah, drink.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
We have made so many like yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
I know we're we're best friends and we're best Friendeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
They are, so I probably won't see you now, but anyway.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
I'm still going to sue you for the chair though.
Any Way ahead, yeah, continue on.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
So then he tried alcohol, and alcohol was you know,
it isn't good for him. It does run in his family,
his mother's side, but he never experienced because his grandfather
passed away when Jay was really young, so he didn't
ever see that side of of his mom's dad being
(19:49):
abusive and being an alcoholic. So I think that and
Jay also has ad D really bad. Like I said,
He's been concussed so many times, so he I always
say that he's an amazing man who made some really
really bad decisions. So after a little while into our marriage,
(20:16):
abuse came into our marriage, and I didn't want to
put my kids through another divorce. I was so in
love with Jay, and it takes a long time before
you realize what's going on, like am I being abused?
Or was that was that verbal abuse? Or you know,
(20:38):
you kind of but at the same time, you know,
you just kind of want to hope that it changes.
Or then I began what they call like managing his behavior,
trying never to be you know, too big for him
like as far as because I have a big personality,
(21:00):
and so I noticed a lot of things about myself
were changing to suit him and to make sure that
he was always happy with me.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I mean it sounds a bit like you're falling into
a codependency place just so, yes, you two could function
in your mind in the most healthy way.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
That is exactly right. I'm very codependent, and part of
it is having six siblings. So I've never been alone.
I've never you know, I don't think I've ever went
through a time in my life where I was sleeping
alone or living alone because it was either always a
sibling or a spouse and so and I got married
very young the first time. Anyway, Uh so once you
(21:41):
real do you realize? Then the process for me was
I started reading everything about anything I could get my
hands on, like, you know, what does this mean when
this happens? And that really started getting my mind going
into you know, this is bad, like what what we're
(22:03):
dealing with is bad? And but it never ever happened
in front of anybody. The kids didn't know. He never
even so much as looked sideways at them, raised his
voice to them. He's he is an amazing father, and
he's an amazing husband, an amazing person, but he alcohol
I just don't think goes well with his chemistry, makeup
(22:26):
or whatever. And it alcohol makes me happy, Alcohol makes
him and a lot of people like angry. And I
noticed that a lot of people when they are drunk,
they sort of and you're you are not a drinker,
so you'll know this too. But don't you notice that
person that kind of comes for you when they're drunk.
You ever seen that?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Now at this point, I have a bodyguard, so I
just say get him, get guy out of Mostly I
would see that emotionally, yes, yes, with family.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
With family, yea, yes.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
They come for you when they're drinking or drunk.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Then you're like, what do you really feel this way?
Like yeah, really resent or not like me, even though
I feel like we're close, Like right, where is that
rooted from? Because I don't know what it's like to
be drunk, so I don't know, yeah, to just have
a random emotion because of alcohol totally.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
I mean, like some people say they can only drink
tequila because tequila keeps them happy all night long, and
you know they can go but you know, like for instance,
my son and I always joke because we're so much alike.
But if we go to a restaurant, like in the
afternoon and have a late lunch and we each get
a blue Moon, that beer blue Moon, we both get
(23:35):
in the worst mood and we're both like grumpy, and
I'm like, oh my god, I have the blue Moon grumpies,
like it's terrible. He's the same way, and so that
particular alcohol does that to me. It makes me agitated
and easily irritated. So we we got to a place
in twenty twenty where, you know, we something really bad happened.
(23:57):
We had a horrible fight, and I decided that we
needed to separate, and the kids were all out of
to Avery was living on his own. Both my girls
were at the beach, and it was over July fourth,
twenty twenty. So I finally just basically said, you know,
(24:17):
it sounds so disrespectful, but like I kicked him out.
I mean, you know, I just knew that we were
going to a place that was very bad. And so
we stayed separated off and on for two years, and
then January seventeenth of twenty twenty one, right or twenty two,
(24:38):
he had arrested and I didn't even know he had
been arrested. We were across the street at our neighbors
having a bonfire, and we were walking back home across
the street, and he was there, and I think he
had gotten to that place where he was like so
worried that I would move on, so worried that I
would quote cheat, because we were still married, and you know,
(25:03):
nothing of the sort ever crossed my mind because I
was so in love with him, still still was still am,
but I just wanted him to change and just if
you'll just stop doing that, then we have such a
great life and family and marriage and we have money
and we're we're you know, we're great, Like why are
you deliberately risking such a beautiful family and marriage and
(25:28):
together we have seven kids and all that. So I
think he was really really worried that I was going
to move on, and so he was there. He shouldn't
have been there. He knows that it was after one am,
I mean.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
So nothing happens after exactly.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Right, And so one of my children who was with
me jumped out and started, you know, why are you here?
Because from that after we separated, I started talking to
them more and telling them more. I still didn't tell
them everything, but I just said, you know, we've had
a hard time. And they were shocked because they've never
seen that side of him ever. And so my child
(26:10):
called the police because you know, she was scared, and
police came and we were like, it's fine, now he's gone.
And I tried to text him, but I think his
phone it went in greens. Either he blocked me or
his phone died.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
And about Android real quick to say, what quickly about
an Android phone could have done that?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
He could have gotten super fashion and missing. Yeah, I
mean that's that would have caused me to go through
with the divorce. Yeah, But I couldn't get through to him.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
I wanted to.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
I was trying to say that we called the police,
so you need to go back to your hotel and
you know, stay away. I was very worried about him,
and so he came back a little bit later and
the police were there. They said, well, we'll just kind
of stay on your street whatever. They arrested him, and
(27:01):
so I woke up the next morning with all these
calls from him, all these calls from my brother, different people.
I had no idea that he had been arrested. And
so I called a friend of ours and I said,
you need to come up from Birmingham, get him out
of jail, get him home safely, and we'll go from there.
You know. So about two or three months later he
(27:23):
texted me and said, everybody says, well, let me back up.
So during this time, I had started writing this record,
and you know, you, as you know, the artists start
a year or two before, especially if you're going to
try to ride everything, which I do, so it's a
long process leaning up to it. I had been writing
(27:46):
all these songs that were just really really really country
and really sad and very like George and Tammy and
two story House kind of songs. And then when that happened,
that was like the lowest of lows because his whole
family was mad at me, his kids, his mom, his sister,
(28:09):
because everybody thought I had him arrested, which I did not,
and then everybody thought that I was putting it out
in the press, which I did not. I didn't say
a word. We turned off all comments on Instagram and
Facebook and Twitter, and so a couple months later he
texted me and said, everybody says that I shouldn't talk
(28:30):
to you. I shouldn't take this chance. But you are
still my wife, you know, And that's kind of all
he said. And that just like broke my heart because
I was missing him so bad. And I think we
both knew that we were meant to be together and
we should be together, but we both knew that there
was a serious problem. And he started realizing, I've got
a serious problem, and I'm going to lose everybody if
(28:51):
I don't get this figured out, if I don't change.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
He hit his bottom. That was his body someone to
have to change.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
My mom an example, she ended up, you know, dying
in her forties because she was an addict, and but
you know, she would we would check her into rehabs,
but she wasn't at her bottom and she would be
like I can. But it took her hitting her bottom
and tragically she died. But she was never going to
get better until she had the point to go, I
have to get better. Yeah, And it feels like that
(29:18):
maybe was that for him to go I have to
get better now.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Yes, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Oh no, it's yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
I mean you can relate, so I don't mind talking
about it with you. So it's a body. He hit
a place that actually was bad but made him want
to achieve a more healthier version for him and for you.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Because he had always you know, he had grown up
in that southern like we have to look great, and
that's the only thing that matters, is how we look
as a family and what image we project. And so
following the arrest and having to be in the court
system and all that and deal with that, and I
(29:55):
did not press charges. I mean, I didn't want him
to anything else to happen in that regard, and but
he was ordered to do like this class and it
was all on zoom. He told me, he said, I
thought I would go in there and just be like,
this is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
I'm not like these people like clock in get through it, yeah,
not really relate or.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Not like yeah, that's not me.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I'm you know. And he said that he realized that
he was one of the worst ones in there, and
I think that's what, like, the arrest was his bottom,
but then that was his real bottom because that humiliated him,
but in the best way possible because you and then
he's like, I'm getting arrested was the best thing that
(30:42):
ever happened to me, because obviously you would hate every
second of that and eighteen hours you know, spent in jail,
and you would just never, you know, want to go
through anything like that again. So he he started asking me,
would you go to counseling, And at first I was
saying no, because every time we had tried counseling, he
(31:03):
wouldn't be honest, and he would look at the therapist
and be like, see, see this is what she does.
You know she's so it was always a waste. And
so he agreed to do that and agreed to get
his own therapists and then pay for my therapist and
pay for everything for me. And there were some you know, major,
(31:24):
major things that he did for me that showed me
that he really did, you know, love me and care
about me, and care about the kids, and obviously they're
his kids. I mean. So he started therapy, I started therapy.
(31:45):
We started therapy together, and for the for a year
at least, he was renting a house up here, just
five minutes away. We would do our therapy and then
maybe meet for dinner and just kind of slowly and
I was gonna let the therapist guide me as far as.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
What yours or y'all's but both.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
You know. And then I made him come to therapy
with me, and then I went to therapy with him
because I wanted to make sure he was telling his
therapist the truth. You know, you can you can go
to therapy all you want, but if you're sitting there lying,
you know, there's no use because they're not going to
be able to really help you. And I think after
doing that class that he had to do, he was
(32:29):
no longer embarrassed about talking about it. He got accustomed
to it. And that thing lasted almost a year, So
that was really good for him. And it's great to
come clean, you know. It's like for me, I always
feel like it's the best feeling in the world to
apologize or admit that you were wrong. I think that's
(32:51):
the best feeling in the world. And I think he
feels that way too. So right after the arrest, I
met with my Ideas and Sean McConnell and I was
going to write with him for the first time. I
sat there and I said, well, I want to write
a song about pride, about because that's my husband's issue
(33:12):
is he's so prideful. He was raised to be prideful.
And so I told him the whole story about the arrest.
I was crying, and you know, it was like this
I mean. And so every writing appointment would start off
with me telling them for forty five minutes what's been
going on. Every co writer would be like wow, whoa like?
(33:32):
And then we would start writing. So we wrote Pride
and that there's always a center song for me on
every album, and like Born to Fly was a center song,
Said's in the Bucket was a center song for that album.
I knew that this was the center song. This was
going to be the song that we based the whole
(33:54):
record off of. And where does Pride go? And so
now that the album is coming out, it's so we've
been in therapy for a year and a half and
we've been back together, living together since November, and so
we will be in therapy till we die. And it's
it's a miraculous change. And obviously it doesn't Statistically that
(34:18):
almost never happens, you know, It's it's very rare to
end up where we are now. But I knew that
there's a song on there called Mask that I knew
that Jay was wearing a mask, and then if he
would just take that mask off and be feel free
(34:39):
and vulnerable enough to just be who he is and
not have to worry about what people think of him.
That that would help him so much, and that would
have helped our marriage so much and saved us a
lot of heartache. So the song Pride, I don't know
if you want to listen.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
To it, I'll listen to or about to play it.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Okay, we'll play it, and then after we play it,
then I'll tell you what I had great talk to
Jay about before we released it.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Okay, we're gonna play Pride. This is Sarah Evans. By
the way, the song, this song is there, but the
whole record comes out in June, the whole body of work. Yes,
so here's Pride from Sarah Evans. Will come back with
Sarah in just a second. Okay, that was Pride from
Sarah Evans. Okay, now we've heard the song where do
We Go?
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Well?
Speaker 1 (35:21):
And I asked Jay, because you know, Pride was written
two years ago. I wrote every song but one on
this record, so the whole album is just you know,
about about our journey. But I said, if you want
me to, I will change it to third person and
make it like a story song.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
So maybe he didn't feel like, I don't know, attacked
or defensive.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Defensive, embarrassed sure tat all of it, you know, And
he said, absolutely not. You're not changing one word on
the song. You don't need to worry about me because
this is the truth, and it's a song that you
wrote and probably the best song you've ever written. And
everything about this album, this project, your podcast, everything is
(36:11):
needs to be honest. And he said, you know, how
can I truly continue to get better and be a
better man if I were to say, yeah, turn that
song into third person so that I don't have to
be embarrassed? You know, that's not doing the true work,
you know.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Because it sounds like he learned accountability, and I've had
to learn accountability in different ways too. I have my
own therapist, and my wife and I go to therapy
because we're both such we need to not even get
ahead of it.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
We just need to have.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Maintenance, right, and accountability and a big part of my
life is a big thing that I've had to learn,
not career wise because I got all the accountability there,
but personally. And it sounds like that was a big,
big understanding realization for him.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Yes, because people is struggle, I think, and not that
this is your reason for needing accountability, but every human
being in the world is a narcissist to a degree,
you know, because we all look out for ourselves and
we all like, that's my main goal in life is
to not be a narcissist. And that's what I was
(37:12):
talking about earlier about, you know, being famous and feeling
that guilt like why why should people revere me when
I'm just a farm kid from Missouri. But so I
want to always make sure that I remember it's about
the music. It's people don't know me, you know. They
just love the music, and that's what I want. They
love the product that I'm putting out there. But people
(37:34):
who struggle in any way, shape or form with narcissism,
which could be a barely or a full blown, you know,
psychopathic narcissist. It's hard to take accountability and say you're
wrong because admitting you're wrong is to say you were right,
(37:57):
and that's just kind of possible for some people to no,
I'm always right. I'm And I also think Jay's need
to control everything is a you know, it's kind of
like when when someone has an eating disorder. It's really
more about control, like having control in your life, and
he needs that a lot. That's what we're working on
(38:19):
in therapy. And I don't know if y'all do this,
but we only talk about therapy things in therapy and
then we leave it there and we try not to
talk about it later.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
So, and that's a weird thing for us at first
because we hadn't I'd never even really been on a couple, like,
I had never been engaged, never lived with anybody, never
told anybody I love them because I was never told
that growing up. And so my wife, I met her
when I was thirty nine, I was older to be married,
and we got married, and so I'd never I've been
going to therapy forever, but I've never been to therapy
with somebody else. Hold new experience. There's a whole level
(38:53):
of respect you have to have for other people in
the room that I don't naturally use day to day
because we're just living our lives bouncing around, right. But
in that room, we would go through things and then
we'd start talking about in the car and we made
the rule for twenty four hours, we're not even if
he says, here's homework for you two for twenty four hours.
(39:14):
We're not going to even mention even the homework if
he gives it to us, Yes, because we need that
separation and I and for us that was so beneficial
to us going to therapy.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Together, because when you leave therapy, you're pissed, you're triggered,
you're triggered.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
You're you're supposed to be. That's what that room's for,
that's right.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Yeah, So yeah, we try not to talk about it
all until you know, Wednesday. Wednesday's our therapy day. And
so I kind of I'm a woman, so I can
make a list in my head and remember it, you know,
of all the things that I want to talk about,
because therapy is triggering me a ton, because it's bringing
up all the stuff that I was too afraid to
(39:54):
talk about, you know. And I would worry leaving therapy,
like he's going to be mad because I brought this up.
Now I don't have that fear at all, and I
have no fear at all whatsoever of him, And so
I think he is also so relieved that we're finally
getting help and that we are normal, and part of
(40:17):
helping him is me being normal too, though like you
talked about my codependency, and so my therapy is teaching me.
You know, why would you believe that's okay for anybody
to treat you like that? And you know, naming the
reasons because you know, my my mom she was not
(40:41):
abusive in any way at all, except she just didn't
allow us to speak our emotions. There we're too busy,
we're farming.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
And probably she didn't learn how to speak her emotions.
She didn't, right, I mean, it wasn't that she was
like I'm going to shut him down. She's living the
model that she was taught.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Yeah, she couldn't say I love you, you know, until
we were older. I think that's our parents' generation. I mean,
one day I would be like, how come you never
say I love you too? And my mom is so funny.
I mean she's a comedian and she would you know,
she would say I love me too, like joking, but
it would hurt my feelings. Yeah, you know. So yeah,
(41:16):
we've you know, and I'm sure I'm I'm I mean
my goal with children has been so like to make
them feel loved no matter what, and make them like
every time they walk in the room, I smile and I,
you know, genuinely just they're just amazing people. And that's
(41:41):
the best thing I've ever done in my life is
those kids. And but and Audrey's in the video for
Pride by the Way You're Going to Die. She looks
just like me. She's playing younger me, And so the
video does like these parts where she's walking in and
I'm walking in it, and it's like the same person.
(42:02):
And the video is great too because it's it's a
very male dominated world. It takes place in a strip
club and it's like I used to be a stripper
and I'm watching my younger self and like why did
you go down that road? Why did you make those decisions?
And yeah, So that the video's incredible. But anyway, the
(42:23):
rest of the album as well, is our journey. So
I wrote the song called Unbroke, and I called my
middle daughter and I said, is this dumb? And because
I started thinking about like the studio is so dangerous
for me?
Speaker 3 (42:40):
Yeah, it's all, it's all the next time I'm wearing
like yeah, come in and like padded with those bubbles
on you. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
So I said, is this dumb? Because I started thinking
about generational problems and issues, and so the course says,
she hurt you, you hurt me. We hurt all of
them in one feel sweet, we all went down like Domino's. Yeah,
nobody's heart gets out unbroke, meaning like you know, when
(43:14):
you are doing something that's screwing up a dynamic and
a family, or you're choosing addiction, or you're choosing abuse,
or you're choosing you know, to gamble or whatever you're doing,
like nobody in your sphere is going to get out
of that unbroke. Well, we decided to name the album
(43:35):
unbroke because we're all back together now. You know, we've
had so many conversations between him and the kids and
you know, me and his kids, and that we are.
We do feel unbroke, and I'm so grateful to God
for that. But then there's another song called I Want
(43:56):
to Be Wrong that I just cried for eight hours
while we were trying to write it because it's me
saying I want to be wrong about you. I want
you know, so it's just starting.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
That's interesting. Yeah, that's an interesting way to express that emotion.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Because I wanted to be wrong about them, like.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
I never want to be wrong. Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
Same but I did want to be wrong about him
because of me.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
That's a really clever way to express that emotion.
Speaker 1 (44:20):
Thanks. Well, when I leave, you listen to it and
you'll cry. It is so sad. It's just I mean,
relationships are so difficult. And I never ever ever thought, see,
people are going to think that I said this is
what people are going to think that I said I
(44:41):
was in an abusive marriage. We went to therapy and
boom more magically fine, and we're back together. And that
is the furthest from the truth.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
And I think people will a bit be only because
people don't have nuance anymore, Like we don't have the
capacity to understand nuance being human life, political life. So yes,
I do think, but that's not the case.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
Yeah, and that's not the case with your story totally.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
You can't. I mean, the world is so weird right
now that it can't even be satorical, you know, like
everything is.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
You're canceled.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
If I do any sort of out there and it goes,
it's a wrong way canceled. So you know what it does,
It makes you not really do it as much anymore,
which then hurts everything across the board.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
Yeah, and that's control, and that's what we don't want.
We don't want to be controlled with what we say.
And I don't want people to be so black and
white when they hear my story Because I just said
this yesterday, I say this every day practically, that it's nuanced.
I mean, it's not just you know, if my husband
(45:50):
ever did that, I'd be gone. You know, no, you wouldn't,
and you might say you would, but like it takes
you know, years of building a family, in a marriage
and a love and then you realize, like something's wrong,
and so people are going to criticize me for staying together.
(46:13):
But this is my individual story. People don't know the
ins and outs. I find it hilarious when people, you
know comment like, well it's because he, you know she,
and I'm like, we've never met. You don't know anything
about this situation other than what I've said publicly, So
you can't draw anything from that other than what I've said.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
Oh they can, though, but you will.
Speaker 4 (46:38):
Yeah, the Bobby cast will be right back.
Speaker 3 (46:50):
This is the Bobby cast in real life.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
A lot of times manifest realization because once it happens
to you and it becomes your life and you then
you realize, you know.
Speaker 3 (47:00):
Maybe I was wrong about what I would or wouldn't
do right.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
And it's it's you know, anytime that my I gained
perspective on things, it's never because I wanted to. Perspective
only gain through hard times. It's not like something easy
and fun happens where you're super successful and you're like,
I got all this perspective. Now, no, no, that was easy.
You don't want you don't gain a very valuable tool,
which is perspective, which is empathy, which is through easy things.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
You gain that through real life.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Through real life and hard times. And it's like I'm
you know, we're all supposed to thank God for trials
that we go through because that's how we learn, and
that means that we're being dealt with, and I wanted
I'd rather be dealt with, you know, Like I was
an athlete all through your high school and played softball,
and I always remember coach saying, if I'm not talking
(47:48):
to you, I then I don't care about you, and
I don't think you're good if I'm screaming at you,
you know, so I want to be dealt with. I
don't want to be ignored and I want to learn
and mistakes from my mistakes. But so I don't want
anybody listening to look. If you're in a dangerous situation,
(48:11):
you need to get out, period. And I did, I
mean I suck. I mean I I got myself away
from the situation. I filed for divorce, I did all
the things. But we're working very, very very hard stay
(48:31):
together because we love each other very much.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
Yeah, And all sickness is and death.
Speaker 3 (48:36):
Every time you get sick, you don't die.
Speaker 2 (48:38):
And that's right, you know, even in relationships, would be
a friend's professional whatever. There's always going to be illnesses. Correct,
You don't you don't have to kill everything because of it.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
You can work through it, you can get healthy, you
can understand why you were affected in a certain way.
But I think that's really I think that's really great
for you to talk about openly, because yes, you will
hear oh, I can't believe. But the people that aren't
saying anything, they're the majority of folks who feel it,
understand and have those I'm glad someone's saying it right
(49:12):
because it's a very common not your specific story, but
your story, my story are stories. They're very common but
people aren't walking around going I got a story to
tell about those those aren't put on Instagram or Facebook.
But it is extremely relatable and it's extremely inspiring to
see someone work through it because it is very hard,
(49:32):
and to see what you can do once you're on
the other side. And also see it doesn't mean it's
all good, right, but it means it can be It
can be great without being always good.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
Absolutely. And I agree with you about you know, not
all sicknesses and death because and I think we live
in a world where people just want to kill everything.
Just kill it if it, if it's something that hurt
your feelings, kill it, if it's something that rubbed you
the wrong way, or you don't think it is right,
just kill it, destroy it, knock it down. It doesn't exist,
(50:04):
it never existed, or it should never exist again. And
I just I don't feel that way. I mean, I
believe in working hard on relationships, any relationships like you
know ours.
Speaker 3 (50:16):
For example, you broke my chair, and you know what,
we're gonna work through that.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
I mean, eventually we will of a therapist.
Speaker 3 (50:25):
That's for us.
Speaker 1 (50:26):
Well, mainly I just need to joint chiropractic Visit would
be fine.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
And I need a wood like a woodworker to come
in that to fly in from France because that chair see.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
It, I mean, see how it's going to be. But
we're working together.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
All sickness is not death.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
Right.
Speaker 4 (50:44):
Let's take a quick pause for a message from our sponsor.
Welcome back to the Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (50:58):
You got the record comes out in but again, pride
is out now. I do want to ask you because
I've taken up an hour of your time already, but
I have a couple other questions I want to ask
you about because you've been so open, Thanks for being
so vulnerable and generous with that story.
Speaker 3 (51:11):
First of all, you're welcome because that's hard to.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
Do, but also I think the reward that others are
going to get from it is massive. But I do
want to talk for a second about Dancing with the Stars.
You mentioned Dancing with the Stars. How was that experience
for you as a show, not what you went through
at the end, Like, as a show? Why did you
do it and how did you feel about doing it?
Speaker 1 (51:31):
I had watched the first season and I loved it.
I thought it was so cool. Then we were doing
CMA Fest and I was playing the stadium, came off stage,
went back to my bus, and the producer of Dancing
with the Stars was on my bus talking to my
manager and so I said, hey, nice to meet you
(51:53):
or whatever, and they said, she produces Dancing with the
Stars and I said, oh my god, I love that show.
I want to be on it. And she was like,
are you serious? You really do and I said yeah.
Then I turned up pregnant. I don't know how that happened.
Speaker 3 (52:08):
You turned up.
Speaker 2 (52:08):
Yeah, that's how you know you're from You're from a
farm in rural America.
Speaker 3 (52:11):
That's what we would.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
Say, turned up pre And so it had to wait.
And so right after Audrey was born, I started like
getting back in shape.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
Had you ever danced before, though, like with any sort
of and I want to say training, but any sort
of lessons or like fun like you're actually learning how
to do a little ball?
Speaker 1 (52:30):
Yeah? No, absolutely not. And I'm a great like two stepper,
I'm good, great at country dancing, but no, And you're
an athlete, and so athletics and music and dancing they
all kind of go hand in hand. And because it's
that part of your brain that says, tell your legs
(52:51):
to do this, and they do it where I don't
know what part of that brain is, but or tell
your voice to do this and it does it. So
that helped, But it was so hard because I was
the only mom on the show and I didn't want
to rehearse more than like six hours. After like six hours,
I would be like I got to get back to
the kids, you know, and I have a baby. I
(53:13):
had two kids and diapers, so that part of it
was extremely difficult, although I I learned a great worth
work ethic from being a farmer, excuse me. And so
then all the stuff started happening with my ex and
(53:35):
he started acting insane and like coming down from Oregon.
We were separated. He kept coming down and he wanted to,
you know, be on the show every week and so
he could be seen in the audience and kept trying
to take the kids back to Oregon, you know, and.
Speaker 3 (53:54):
That's very distracting.
Speaker 2 (53:55):
Well, yeah, I mean it sucks as a life thing,
but also you're trying to do this new endeavor. Yes,
it's hard to focus on anything when something like that
is happening.
Speaker 1 (54:02):
Yes, I remember laying in bed and just going okay,
if I can walk through the whole dance in my head.
Then I've got it, you know, like I don't know
how you.
Speaker 3 (54:14):
I just prayed and cried. Yeah, it was I never
had it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
And the thing that helps me was as soon as
we walked out, and it was the live audience that
made me come alive because I'm so used to that.
Speaker 3 (54:25):
Yeah, I made me peem up pants. Yeah, just a
little though.
Speaker 1 (54:28):
Yeah, I it was very hard. I mean I was
crying all the time, and it was just like there
couldn't have been a worse time for me to do dancing.
Speaker 3 (54:38):
With the stars. That's what I hear. That sucks.
Speaker 2 (54:40):
So you're doing that, yet the distraction is so mad.
It's not even distracting like a hurt toe. It's like
your kids. It's like your real life. Yeah, it's and
you're dealing with that as you're trying this new thing.
Speaker 3 (54:51):
You're being very vulnerable in a new area.
Speaker 1 (54:53):
You feel stupid.
Speaker 2 (54:54):
I mean I did, and I wasn't even dealing with
what you were dealing with at the same time. So
who was your partner Tony Dombalani And how did you
guys get along?
Speaker 1 (55:03):
We did and we still are friends. And but he
was very mean, you know, because he is he foreign. Yeah,
he's from Albania.
Speaker 2 (55:13):
So yeah, so that's their baseline for mean is not
ours exactly. Yeah, to him, he's normal, but they have
they learn in such a like demanding way, like European.
Speaker 1 (55:23):
Yeah, we're so coddled and yeah, we're so spoiled here.
It's you know, we've got it so good and they've
you know, yeah, it's like a sport there and they're
they have to do it and it's considered to be
very manly. And so he would get real, you know,
loud and aggressive, and probably if I wasn't going through
(55:43):
what I was going through, might not have been quite
so sensitive. But he he triggered me a lot, you know,
with because my first husband was.
Speaker 2 (55:55):
Yeah, it just sounds like an unperfect storm or a
perfect storm for what you were going through and meet
somebody else who who's just general sensibilities.
Speaker 3 (56:02):
It's just not the perfect time for.
Speaker 2 (56:04):
You to do that with that person, right, Not that
he did anything wrong, because that's just how he got.
Speaker 3 (56:08):
But yeah, but yes, it is a very tough and it's.
Speaker 1 (56:11):
Hard and you feel really dumb because you don't like
it's like something.
Speaker 2 (56:15):
You're an infant again. Yeah, and toddler, and you're being
talked down to. Even if they're not talking mean to
you, you feel like you're being talked down to because they've
got to explain it, like you're a freaking kid.
Speaker 1 (56:24):
Exactly, and it's like, this is what you do. It
would be like me getting mad at somebody if they
couldn't sing great, like, well, that's not fair because I'm
not a natural dancer.
Speaker 3 (56:35):
You know, how many weeks did you do the show?
Were you on the show?
Speaker 1 (56:38):
I was on I think six weeks.
Speaker 3 (56:39):
That was a long time. I was gonna win, you think?
Speaker 1 (56:42):
So we have inside information that says I was winning
and it was gonna win.
Speaker 2 (56:51):
Would it be for you? I could give you this gift.
You can hold my mirror ball and act like you won.
Speaker 3 (56:55):
Wouldn't that be fine?
Speaker 1 (56:56):
I don't even want to see it.
Speaker 3 (56:58):
We opened that curtain right there, Mike, No, no, no,
just look just just like she said she didn't want
to see it. It's right there. That could have been you.
Speaker 1 (57:06):
That's amazing. Yeah, that is beautiful.
Speaker 3 (57:09):
It is could have been it was. It was really hard.
Speaker 1 (57:12):
Who's your partner?
Speaker 3 (57:14):
Red hair demanding?
Speaker 2 (57:16):
Yeah, I felt like an idiot and a lot of
that was me and I always feel like I'm not
worthy anyway, like that's my big therapy thing. And then
you put me in that situation where I'm not worthy
and I got to figure it.
Speaker 1 (57:28):
Out so embarrassed.
Speaker 2 (57:29):
So it was is the most difficult thing professionally that
I've ever.
Speaker 3 (57:33):
Had to do.
Speaker 1 (57:34):
I agree with you, and I was.
Speaker 3 (57:36):
I never got good. I was not good. I just
found a different way.
Speaker 2 (57:39):
Like I I connected with people so much, but then
trained so hard that if I could just stay middle
to lower like two thirds, I felt like I could
by being extremely honest with vulnerabilities and hey, I suck
at this and I know it, but I'm trying as
hard as I can. Yeah, that connect and I won
And it was crazy and it was crazy. It was
all and I mean they were there amy it was
it was just why When they were.
Speaker 3 (58:00):
Like you want, I was like what, That's amazing. It
was really cool. It's not even about the dance show
to me. It's about how came.
Speaker 2 (58:07):
Yeah, how it made me feel the whole time, not Sharna,
but the situation. Yeah, and that I was able to
just go I have to be coached and I have
to get over myself for a minute and somehow realize
that my trauma is making me feel this way.
Speaker 3 (58:21):
Yes, not her or this.
Speaker 1 (58:26):
You're so right because I could say the same about
Tony that was I have a thing with men, you know,
and so like when when he was mad at me
or yelling at me. And also he's Muslim, so we
were training during his fasting.
Speaker 3 (58:42):
Time, so he was cranky. Obviously he was in.
Speaker 1 (58:44):
The worst mood. And I was like, what do I
gotta do to get you to eat? Like we've got
to know, like, how do you feel about Jesus, because.
Speaker 3 (58:53):
Well, it convert him so he can have a taco. Yeah,
I thought that.
Speaker 1 (58:57):
He said, if you make a donation to our local mom,
then I can break fast. And I was like, they.
Speaker 3 (59:03):
Got a whole wing. Now here's Sarah Evans wing at
the local mosque.
Speaker 1 (59:06):
Yeah, and so he started eating and that did help
because he was in the worst mood for that time
of fasting.
Speaker 2 (59:13):
Well, I'm super grateful that you came over and just shared.
It's not even one specific thing, it's a lot of
so so thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (59:20):
This has been great for me.
Speaker 2 (59:22):
I do want to say, first of all, go follow
Sarah at Sarah Evans music the out today, Pride, it's out,
the song is out, but the record comes out in June,
and Unbroke comes out June seventh.
Speaker 3 (59:34):
I'll say June.
Speaker 2 (59:35):
No one's gonna remember June seventh, but the summer and
we'll talk about it too when it comes out again,
just to remind everybody. And you know I I in
the podcast, Oh yeah, yes, So you can go diving
deep with Sarah.
Speaker 1 (59:45):
Evans, diving in deep, Yeah, dive in deep.
Speaker 2 (59:47):
Diving in deep or diving yeah, diving in deep, diving
in deep.
Speaker 1 (59:52):
Yes with Sarah Evans because that's one of my songs
on my album Words and it's you know, perfect because
it we're just we're we're doing both where I will
just sit and talk and tell a story like getting
hit by a car. That's my first episode is me
telling the story about Jay and what happened. And then
we've got special guests coming on. I don't know if
(01:00:13):
I can say who they are, but like Dennis Quaid
is on, Martinez on Ernest is coming on next week.
Like so it'll be a combo of.
Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
That's great and you should say who's on what's gonna
happen the as sue you. That'll be two lawsuits. That's okay,
you only get two, one from me, one from Ernest.
Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
That's true. That's not bad.
Speaker 3 (01:00:29):
No, that's not bad.
Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
It's not bad.
Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
On Thursday, yeah, I mean then Sarah's on the road
a lot, so Sarah Evans dot Com to see the dates.
It's I mean, you're basically in all the places that
our show airs, but it's you know, Greenville, Texas, like
La Florida, Gainesville, Georgia. I was gonna do the first
few Auburn, Alabama, Virginia, West Virginia, all over.
Speaker 3 (01:00:48):
Go watch Sarah as you heard. You heard our say
she's the greatest singer ever.
Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
You say that I did Okay, good, Yeah, I thought
you did. I just wanted to make sure I said it.
I want to makeure I repeated it the way that
you said it. So seriously, thanks for sharing. Thanks for
being here. It's been really great for me. I hope
you don't leave. You're gonna be like I hate that, dude.
Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
Now we can sit here and talk all day.
Speaker 3 (01:01:07):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
I should come whenever you're ready for me. I'll come
do your podcast. Oh yay, thank you, especially if we
live close that's the only reason, honestly. Yeah, yeah, because
I don't like who cares. But if it's close, I
can go do it. And then right off, my guest.
Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
I'm gonna hold you to that, and I will give
you a sturdy chair.
Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
No, I demand having a three leg chair, so I
have to battle the whole time. Okay, just what you
had to do. That sounds fair, all right, Sarah, good
to see
Speaker 4 (01:01:30):
You you too, Thanks for listening to a Bobby Cast
production
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