OUTWEIGH: In the final episode of our series, Leanne sits down with Natalie Borrell of Life Success for Teens to tackle one of the biggest pitfalls facing today’s youth: the constant battle for external validation. With social media, peer pressure, and cultural standards all shouting for attention, teens’ developing brains are especially vulnerable to body comparisons, perfectionism, and crippling self-doubt. In this episode, Natalie and Leanne break down how these external ideals can distort self-image and push teenagers toward dangerous habits with food and beyond.
They also share actionable strategies for flipping the script—focusing on inner growth, values, and resilience rather than the quick-fix highs of likes, followers, or fitting a narrow beauty standard. The result? When teens learn to stand in their own worth, the pull to “measure up” fades, and the need to chase approval through their body or appearance naturally loses its grip. If you want to see your teen thrive with genuine self-confidence, rather than frantic comparison-itis, don’t miss this conversation.
GUEST: Natalie Borrell // @lifesuccessforteens // lifesuccessforteens.com
HOST: Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) head on over to www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I
feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And that will always out way if you feel.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It with your hands, and there she'll some love to
the food.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Why they say go day and did you and die
out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday, out Weigh.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
We are back for the final episode of our series
specifically for teens and parents of teens and so parents,
if you feel like you are out in the wilderness
watching your teen battle food obsession and stress and anxiety
and comparisonitis and all of those things that comes along
being a teenager and then parenting a teenager, this series
is for you. And so we are back with Natalie Burrell,
(00:58):
founder of Life Success for Teens, and she's got nearly
two decades of experience helping teens not just academically but emotionally, socially, intellectually, developmentally.
All of the Ullies and our first episode, if you
missed it, definitely head back episode one. We talked about
what's going on under the surface and guiding teens through
their experience of stress and overwhelm and crushing expectations and
(01:21):
this you know, self created pressure. Then last week we
talked about all about the coping mechanism side of things.
So what is your teen really hungry for and how
to meet those emotional needs when food and netflix and
escaping is not the real answer, and what really will
help them? And then today we are here to talk
about unhooking your teenager's brains from unrealistic ideals and helping
(01:43):
them find their own path rather than chasing others approval
in this world of you know, social media and comparisonitis.
So thank you so much for being back here, such
a great series so far, Natalie, It's a pleasure to
be here.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Let's dive on in.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
So let's just like, can you just set the tone
for us for right now. What is going on as
you're seeing is with the teens that you're working with
and what you're hearing from parents, you know, how social
media and pure pressure and like cultural standards, what's going
on in the comparison itis, perfectionism, self doubt, body image
brain of the teens that you're working with.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
So we've touched on these topics in the last two episodes.
But this is worth bringing up again because it's the
comparison to other people, which means I'm not fill in
the blank, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not strong enough,
I'm not athletic enough, whatever it may be. But then
there's also that pressure of seeing what everybody else is
doing and seeing the highlight reel on social media. I
(02:38):
am going to throw social media under the bus, even
though you know I'm on social media. There's many great
things about it. But if we're going to talk about
comparing ourselves and that feeling of being less than, then
I'm going to bring up social media because if your
teenager is on it, they absolutely are seeing the highlight
reel of everybody else's life, but they're also seeing what
(02:59):
they are not involved in or what they are not
and they're comparing themselves to that, or they're feeling left out.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
And I think that fomo and the fear of missing
out as the kids call it, and yeah, feeling like,
oh my gosh, I'm not invited. That is kryptonite to
a teenage brain, you know, because it's that part of
your brain that, yeah, you want to look a certain way,
you want to fit in, but when you're actively seeing
people going to something and you're not invited, it feels personal,
It feels very isolating, and I think it like can
(03:27):
even be harder in the teenage brain, especially because that
is what's developing and you know during those years. So
why do you think teens are so vulnerable to these
external ideas when it comes to self image and then
you know, going into their relationship with food.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Do you feel like.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
There is opportunity for parents and teachers and guidance counselors
and stuff to come in or is this the kind
of thing where you also feel like they need a coach,
they need a guide.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Well, I think that it happens so much because they're
around it all of the time. And here's what I mean.
When you and I were in high school. I don't
know what you graduated. I won't age us. But when
you and I were in high school, we got to
go home and like turn off the rest of the
world pretty much, right, Like we might know what some
people are doing, but we did not have access to
(04:13):
what everybody was doing, or what people in other states
looked like, what they ate, how they exercised. Our brains
just didn't have that information. Because we weren't connected to
the world like that. So I think this is so
this is happening so often and so frequently because we
are just surrounded by it and our teenagers have access
(04:34):
to all of that information at the touch of a
button twenty four hours a day, and that is consuming.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yeah, it is all consuming.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
And then it also coming back to what we're talking
about last week, it can almost be an addiction, right
or they feel like they like a compulsion they have
to check out what other.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
People are doing.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
So what would you say when you have these conversations
with teens and you're focusing on their resilience and you know,
having their own self w within their own values rather
than you know, arbitrary beauty or performance standards or what
they're seeing on social media. Can you just share a
little bit of a sneak behind the curtain of like,
what are the conversations that you're having with these kids
about body image, self image, self worth, comparison itis.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
So the first thing that I would say is to
really just make this simple, Like when we're talking about
social media or comparing yourself or the pressure that you feel,
we try to break the people that they are interacting
with and the things they are experiencing on a screen
into two different categories. It's either an energy giver or
it's an energy taker. We're going to make it very
(05:34):
simple because we'll even have them kind of go through
their social media and like as they're scrolling, No, is
this person or this account an energy giver because it
lights me up because it makes me feel good about
myself because it's a positive hit of dopamine right in
a good way. Or is this somebody I follow because
they hold a standard that like I might never get
(05:56):
to and that doesn't feel good. So are they an
energy taker? And it's the same thing whether it's somebody
in the social media world or it's somebody in their
real life. Is this person an energy giver or an
energy taker? But also in the way that they are
spending their time right, Like is spending time on my
phone an energy giver or an energy taker? So we
(06:17):
make it very simple by just breaking it down into
those two categories. But then you have to go even further,
like if this section of your life is all energy givers,
how do we get more of that positivity?
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Like, what are some.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Ways we can add in more of that? Is it
more positive relationships. Is it more healthy habits in terms
of your eating, in terms of your sleeping. But then
also how do we reduce those energy takers? So what
would happen, for example, if we deleted this account that's
definitely an energy giver and we replaced it with a
positive one. Now you've got a double whammy. Right, So
(06:51):
there's that idea. But then to take it even further,
we want to talk to our teenagers. And I don't
know if parents can always do this. This is a
tough conversation for parent to have. It's easier for an
outside person, but to talk about things that are your
teenager's values, like what are the things that are actually
on a deep and personal level important to them? And
(07:11):
how do we make decisions in our life that are
based on those values. So I just took it to
a whole other level. Yeah, but but it's important.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Oh my gosh, No, this is you're speaking my language.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
This is the work that I do with my clients
as well, because when we have you know, and it's interesting,
one of my next questions was was going to be
about going from that external to that internal.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Validation value worth?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
And you know, part of it too, is, and it's
it shows up differently for adults with teens, but it's
the same concept. So with my adults, what I have
to say to them is I say, hey, take out
or set aside for a minute, who you're trying to
be for everyone else, who you're trying to be as
a mom, as a wife, as a you know, an employee, employer,
whatever it is, right, and like what values do you
hold that you that do you want to bring in
(07:53):
for your for yourself. And a lot of times they're
aspirational because they're not being them right now. They're not
being integrity, they're not being you know, accepting of themselves,
they're not being you know, self endorsed and full of
self worth. So they become aspirational. But the same can
be true for kids because I think with a lot
of these teenagers, especially what we know about the developing
social brain, is a lot of their validation is based
(08:15):
on well, what do I think I should be for
other people? So can you kind of share a little
bit about how you help them differentiate that internal on
that external, like just even going a little bit deeper
into what you said, because it's so so powerful, impotent,
and I'm like with the work that I do at teens,
we hit that hard, that internal compass.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Yeah, and sometimes you might even think like a teenager
is not going to be receptive to that kind of work,
but it always fascinates me that they are, like they
kind of tilt their head for a second, like, oh, no,
one's really asked me these questions before, or ask them
in this way, or ask them in a format where
I feel comfortable sharing it, so they actually are open
(08:54):
to it. And it feels really good to be able
to put into words what are the things that are
important to you? But also this is just as important
to be able to say out loud what your strengths are.
There's not a lot of teens that can do both
of those things before they get some external help to
do that. But you're right, there is such a focus
(09:14):
on like the external how am I supposed to look,
how am I supposed to act? What grade point average
am I supposed to have? And not as much of
a focus on like the type of person you're trying
to be in the world right, what it is you
want to get out of life? And to me, that
is just as if not more important than the external stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Absolutely and so what would you say to parents, Because
again this can go either direction, Like there's parents listening
who they like, whether it's purposeful or accidental, they are
doing a great job of encouraging this internal thing. And
then I know and for this latter category, this is
absolutely unintentional. But I hear it from my clients all
the time. They're like, oh my gosh, unbeknownst to me,
(09:53):
just being who I'm being, I've passed this on to
my children, right, So can you talk to us about
what it looks like to model that for children, or
like how to invite them into these conversations that have
them standing in their own self worth and their own
value rather than the whole like measuring up kind of
side of things.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
I think the key word here is modeling, Like you said,
so how to do that? I think talking out loud
about these things is actually very helpful if your teen
is receptive and if they will listen. So my kids
are a little bit younger, but they often hear me
say things like I'm making this choice because this is
important to me, and I'm like filling in the blank
(10:31):
of what that is. They're starting to get to the
point now they're almost preteens where they're like, Mom, are
you coaching us?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
But I think it's so yeah, I know, yeah, sorry,
sorry for what I do.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
For a living friends, But I think it's so important
to not only model it in terms of my behavior,
but when I'm modeling just in my behavior, I'm hoping
they're picking up on it. But if I model my
behavior and I'm speaking it out loud, now that's that
double dose, and I'm more sure that they're going to
get the point of what I'm saying, even if in
the moment they're like ugh, mom, they've still at least
(11:05):
heard me.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Yeah, And you're creating that awareness.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Like if somebody I look back at a lot of
the work that I do and I'm like, gosh, I
wish I had access to these thought processes, these tools
when I was you know, especially teen, which was my hardest,
most challenging time. But I'm like if somebody had even
said to me and modeled to me like hey, leanne, like,
I'm doing this because I committed to it, and my
integrity is there's nothing more important than my word. I
(11:28):
want my yeses to be yes, is my nose to
be nos? And I want to be a promise maker
and a promise keeper, because that's important to who I
want to be. Like if I just had that modeled,
and I'm not like dissing my parents or anything like that,
but like the like things like integrity, things like self acceptance.
Even when we don't like things about ourselves, we can
accept that it's so right. Even when there's things that
we want to change about ourselves, we can still value
(11:50):
and weigh and measure the amazing parts of us. So
these are the conversations that like, again, just having that awareness,
by modeling the language, the words, and the actions, it
can just plant see that you don't even know are
being planted, and you might not even know they're being
receptive to it, but they are well.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
And that's why I had this modeled. I grew up
with mostly just my mom. My dad was involved and
I saw him on the weekends. And my mom modeled
this to a tea Like looking back on my childhood.
She she was and is an angel, and I had
that model, but I didn't want to hear it from her.
That's the truth, because even when she would say things
(12:25):
to me about like how wonderful I was, or how
smart I was, or how capable I was. My first
thought wasn't oh thanks mom, you're right, It was you
have to say that to me because you love me, right,
So I needed that external validation from somebody else in
terms of like modeling how capable and wonderful I was,
(12:46):
or like holding up a mirror to that. Does that
make sense?
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Yeah, absolutely absolutely, And it goes back to what we
were talking about in the last couple of episodes, like
how do you get your teen on board? Well, like
it's got it, where it's coming from and who it's
coming from, and the perception and the perspective does absolutely matter.
So it's important to have those positive influence that are
not just you in their lives.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Anything you can be involved in that has an external
voice and an external community, like whether it be church,
or whether it be activities or outings, adventures, whatever it
may be, all of those little doses of somebody else's
voice can be so helpful.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Well, before we finish off this series, is there any
words of wisdom or encouragement that you would like to
leave with the parents that have kids that I mean
basically every parent that has these kids that are experiencing,
you know, chasing others approval or unrealistic ideals or you
know body image self image struggles. Is there any just
like words of encouragement that you would give to these parents.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
These words of encouragement are from Finding Nemo. It is
just keep swimming, because if you know that you are
doing your absolute best to provide positivity and stability and
love for your teenager unconditionally while they go through this
like emotional roller coaster ride of the teenage, then keep
doing it, but also have an eye out for is
(14:04):
this something that I need support with because I don't
know how to do it myself, or I need support
with because it is so stressful for me that I'm
struggling myself. So keep swimming, but also keep an eye
out for like a safety net from somebody else.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Amazing words from you and from memo. Thank you so
much for being here.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
We're gonna link all of your contact information in the
show notes. So she's at Life Success for Teens over
on Instagram and Life successfouteens dot com.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Natalie, thank you so much for being here for this series.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
It's such an important topic that I think a lot
of parents are swimming out there not knowing where to
get help and I encourage you all listening, go over
and follow her on Instagram. She shares amazing nuggets of
wisdom for you and for creating life success for teens.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Thank Leanna, it was a pleasure.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
All right.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
That's it for this series and we'll be back with
more ATWAGH next week.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Bye.
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I
feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And that will always out way if you feel.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It with your hands, and there she'll some love to
the food.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Why they say go day and did you and die
out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday, out Weigh.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
We are back for the final episode of our series
specifically for teens and parents of teens and so parents,
if you feel like you are out in the wilderness
watching your teen battle food obsession and stress and anxiety
and comparisonitis and all of those things that comes along
being a teenager and then parenting a teenager, this series
is for you. And so we are back with Natalie Burrell,
(00:58):
founder of Life Success for Teens, and she's got nearly
two decades of experience helping teens not just academically but emotionally, socially, intellectually, developmentally.
All of the Ullies and our first episode, if you
missed it, definitely head back episode one. We talked about
what's going on under the surface and guiding teens through
their experience of stress and overwhelm and crushing expectations and
(01:21):
this you know, self created pressure. Then last week we
talked about all about the coping mechanism side of things.
So what is your teen really hungry for and how
to meet those emotional needs when food and netflix and
escaping is not the real answer, and what really will
help them? And then today we are here to talk
about unhooking your teenager's brains from unrealistic ideals and helping
(01:43):
them find their own path rather than chasing others approval
in this world of you know, social media and comparisonitis.
So thank you so much for being back here, such
a great series so far, Natalie, It's a pleasure to
be here.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Let's dive on in.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
So let's just like, can you just set the tone
for us for right now. What is going on as
you're seeing is with the teens that you're working with
and what you're hearing from parents, you know, how social
media and pure pressure and like cultural standards, what's going
on in the comparison itis, perfectionism, self doubt, body image
brain of the teens that you're working with.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
So we've touched on these topics in the last two episodes.
But this is worth bringing up again because it's the
comparison to other people, which means I'm not fill in
the blank, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not strong enough,
I'm not athletic enough, whatever it may be. But then
there's also that pressure of seeing what everybody else is
doing and seeing the highlight reel on social media. I
(02:38):
am going to throw social media under the bus, even
though you know I'm on social media. There's many great
things about it. But if we're going to talk about
comparing ourselves and that feeling of being less than, then
I'm going to bring up social media because if your
teenager is on it, they absolutely are seeing the highlight
reel of everybody else's life, but they're also seeing what
(02:59):
they are not involved in or what they are not
and they're comparing themselves to that, or they're feeling left out.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
And I think that fomo and the fear of missing
out as the kids call it, and yeah, feeling like,
oh my gosh, I'm not invited. That is kryptonite to
a teenage brain, you know, because it's that part of
your brain that, yeah, you want to look a certain way,
you want to fit in, but when you're actively seeing
people going to something and you're not invited, it feels personal,
It feels very isolating, and I think it like can
(03:27):
even be harder in the teenage brain, especially because that
is what's developing and you know during those years. So
why do you think teens are so vulnerable to these
external ideas when it comes to self image and then
you know, going into their relationship with food.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Do you feel like.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
There is opportunity for parents and teachers and guidance counselors
and stuff to come in or is this the kind
of thing where you also feel like they need a coach,
they need a guide.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Well, I think that it happens so much because they're
around it all of the time. And here's what I mean.
When you and I were in high school. I don't
know what you graduated. I won't age us. But when
you and I were in high school, we got to
go home and like turn off the rest of the
world pretty much, right, Like we might know what some
people are doing, but we did not have access to
(04:13):
what everybody was doing, or what people in other states
looked like, what they ate, how they exercised. Our brains
just didn't have that information. Because we weren't connected to
the world like that. So I think this is so
this is happening so often and so frequently because we
are just surrounded by it and our teenagers have access
(04:34):
to all of that information at the touch of a
button twenty four hours a day, and that is consuming.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yeah, it is all consuming.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
And then it also coming back to what we're talking
about last week, it can almost be an addiction, right
or they feel like they like a compulsion they have
to check out what other.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
People are doing.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
So what would you say when you have these conversations
with teens and you're focusing on their resilience and you know,
having their own self w within their own values rather
than you know, arbitrary beauty or performance standards or what
they're seeing on social media. Can you just share a
little bit of a sneak behind the curtain of like,
what are the conversations that you're having with these kids
about body image, self image, self worth, comparison itis.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
So the first thing that I would say is to
really just make this simple, Like when we're talking about
social media or comparing yourself or the pressure that you feel,
we try to break the people that they are interacting
with and the things they are experiencing on a screen
into two different categories. It's either an energy giver or
it's an energy taker. We're going to make it very
(05:34):
simple because we'll even have them kind of go through
their social media and like as they're scrolling, No, is
this person or this account an energy giver because it
lights me up because it makes me feel good about
myself because it's a positive hit of dopamine right in
a good way. Or is this somebody I follow because
they hold a standard that like I might never get
(05:56):
to and that doesn't feel good. So are they an
energy taker? And it's the same thing whether it's somebody
in the social media world or it's somebody in their
real life. Is this person an energy giver or an
energy taker? But also in the way that they are
spending their time right, Like is spending time on my
phone an energy giver or an energy taker? So we
(06:17):
make it very simple by just breaking it down into
those two categories. But then you have to go even further,
like if this section of your life is all energy givers,
how do we get more of that positivity?
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Like, what are some.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Ways we can add in more of that? Is it
more positive relationships. Is it more healthy habits in terms
of your eating, in terms of your sleeping. But then
also how do we reduce those energy takers? So what
would happen, for example, if we deleted this account that's
definitely an energy giver and we replaced it with a
positive one. Now you've got a double whammy. Right, So
(06:51):
there's that idea. But then to take it even further,
we want to talk to our teenagers. And I don't
know if parents can always do this. This is a
tough conversation for parent to have. It's easier for an
outside person, but to talk about things that are your
teenager's values, like what are the things that are actually
on a deep and personal level important to them? And
(07:11):
how do we make decisions in our life that are
based on those values. So I just took it to
a whole other level. Yeah, but but it's important.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Oh my gosh, No, this is you're speaking my language.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
This is the work that I do with my clients
as well, because when we have you know, and it's interesting,
one of my next questions was was going to be
about going from that external to that internal.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Validation value worth?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
And you know, part of it too, is, and it's
it shows up differently for adults with teens, but it's
the same concept. So with my adults, what I have
to say to them is I say, hey, take out
or set aside for a minute, who you're trying to
be for everyone else, who you're trying to be as
a mom, as a wife, as a you know, an employee, employer,
whatever it is, right, and like what values do you
hold that you that do you want to bring in
(07:53):
for your for yourself. And a lot of times they're
aspirational because they're not being them right now. They're not
being integrity, they're not being you know, accepting of themselves,
they're not being you know, self endorsed and full of
self worth. So they become aspirational. But the same can
be true for kids because I think with a lot
of these teenagers, especially what we know about the developing
social brain, is a lot of their validation is based
(08:15):
on well, what do I think I should be for
other people? So can you kind of share a little
bit about how you help them differentiate that internal on
that external, like just even going a little bit deeper
into what you said, because it's so so powerful, impotent,
and I'm like with the work that I do at teens,
we hit that hard, that internal compass.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Yeah, and sometimes you might even think like a teenager
is not going to be receptive to that kind of work,
but it always fascinates me that they are, like they
kind of tilt their head for a second, like, oh, no,
one's really asked me these questions before, or ask them
in this way, or ask them in a format where
I feel comfortable sharing it, so they actually are open
(08:54):
to it. And it feels really good to be able
to put into words what are the things that are
important to you? But also this is just as important
to be able to say out loud what your strengths are.
There's not a lot of teens that can do both
of those things before they get some external help to
do that. But you're right, there is such a focus
(09:14):
on like the external how am I supposed to look,
how am I supposed to act? What grade point average
am I supposed to have? And not as much of
a focus on like the type of person you're trying
to be in the world right, what it is you
want to get out of life? And to me, that
is just as if not more important than the external stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Absolutely and so what would you say to parents, Because
again this can go either direction, Like there's parents listening
who they like, whether it's purposeful or accidental, they are
doing a great job of encouraging this internal thing. And
then I know and for this latter category, this is
absolutely unintentional. But I hear it from my clients all
the time. They're like, oh my gosh, unbeknownst to me,
(09:53):
just being who I'm being, I've passed this on to
my children, right, So can you talk to us about
what it looks like to model that for children, or
like how to invite them into these conversations that have
them standing in their own self worth and their own
value rather than the whole like measuring up kind of
side of things.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
I think the key word here is modeling, Like you said,
so how to do that? I think talking out loud
about these things is actually very helpful if your teen
is receptive and if they will listen. So my kids
are a little bit younger, but they often hear me
say things like I'm making this choice because this is
important to me, and I'm like filling in the blank
(10:31):
of what that is. They're starting to get to the
point now they're almost preteens where they're like, Mom, are
you coaching us?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
But I think it's so yeah, I know, yeah, sorry,
sorry for what I do.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
For a living friends, But I think it's so important
to not only model it in terms of my behavior,
but when I'm modeling just in my behavior, I'm hoping
they're picking up on it. But if I model my
behavior and I'm speaking it out loud, now that's that
double dose, and I'm more sure that they're going to
get the point of what I'm saying, even if in
the moment they're like ugh, mom, they've still at least
(11:05):
heard me.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Yeah, And you're creating that awareness.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Like if somebody I look back at a lot of
the work that I do and I'm like, gosh, I
wish I had access to these thought processes, these tools
when I was you know, especially teen, which was my hardest,
most challenging time. But I'm like if somebody had even
said to me and modeled to me like hey, leanne, like,
I'm doing this because I committed to it, and my
integrity is there's nothing more important than my word. I
(11:28):
want my yeses to be yes, is my nose to
be nos? And I want to be a promise maker
and a promise keeper, because that's important to who I
want to be. Like if I just had that modeled,
and I'm not like dissing my parents or anything like that,
but like the like things like integrity, things like self acceptance.
Even when we don't like things about ourselves, we can
accept that it's so right. Even when there's things that
we want to change about ourselves, we can still value
(11:50):
and weigh and measure the amazing parts of us. So
these are the conversations that like, again, just having that awareness,
by modeling the language, the words, and the actions, it
can just plant see that you don't even know are
being planted, and you might not even know they're being
receptive to it, but they are well.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
And that's why I had this modeled. I grew up
with mostly just my mom. My dad was involved and
I saw him on the weekends. And my mom modeled
this to a tea Like looking back on my childhood.
She she was and is an angel, and I had
that model, but I didn't want to hear it from her.
That's the truth, because even when she would say things
(12:25):
to me about like how wonderful I was, or how
smart I was, or how capable I was. My first
thought wasn't oh thanks mom, you're right, It was you
have to say that to me because you love me, right,
So I needed that external validation from somebody else in
terms of like modeling how capable and wonderful I was,
(12:46):
or like holding up a mirror to that. Does that
make sense?
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Yeah, absolutely absolutely, And it goes back to what we
were talking about in the last couple of episodes, like
how do you get your teen on board? Well, like
it's got it, where it's coming from and who it's
coming from, and the perception and the perspective does absolutely matter.
So it's important to have those positive influence that are
not just you in their lives.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Anything you can be involved in that has an external
voice and an external community, like whether it be church,
or whether it be activities or outings, adventures, whatever it
may be, all of those little doses of somebody else's
voice can be so helpful.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Well, before we finish off this series, is there any
words of wisdom or encouragement that you would like to
leave with the parents that have kids that I mean
basically every parent that has these kids that are experiencing,
you know, chasing others approval or unrealistic ideals or you
know body image self image struggles. Is there any just
like words of encouragement that you would give to these parents.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
These words of encouragement are from Finding Nemo. It is
just keep swimming, because if you know that you are
doing your absolute best to provide positivity and stability and
love for your teenager unconditionally while they go through this
like emotional roller coaster ride of the teenage, then keep
doing it, but also have an eye out for is
(14:04):
this something that I need support with because I don't
know how to do it myself, or I need support
with because it is so stressful for me that I'm
struggling myself. So keep swimming, but also keep an eye
out for like a safety net from somebody else.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Amazing words from you and from memo. Thank you so
much for being here.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
We're gonna link all of your contact information in the
show notes. So she's at Life Success for Teens over
on Instagram and Life successfouteens dot com.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Natalie, thank you so much for being here for this series.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
It's such an important topic that I think a lot
of parents are swimming out there not knowing where to
get help and I encourage you all listening, go over
and follow her on Instagram. She shares amazing nuggets of
wisdom for you and for creating life success for teens.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Thank Leanna, it was a pleasure.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
All right.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
That's it for this series and we'll be back with
more ATWAGH next week.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Bye.
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.