February 2, 2023 • 6 mins
HOW TO human with CARLOS WHITTAKER!
Chip away at FEARFUL mindsets.
Look in the MIRROR.
Check-in and SELF-REFLECT.
SEE people, FREE people.
By the end of this episode, you'll know key secrets on how to truly just BE HUMAN.
Carlos' new book, "How to Human: Three Ways to Share Life Beyond What Distracts, Divides, and Disconnects Us," is out NOW...grab a copy HERE: How to Human: Three Ways to Share Life Beyond What Distracts, Divides, and Disconnects Us!
Listen to CARLOS WHITTAKER How-To Minisode on GET REAL Podcast...NOW!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So what are we doing right now? Because I feel
like people got into this scared mentality of like, oh
my gosh, I have to hold so tight onto what's
mine and protect mine. And now it's like, that's not
that's not that's not how we flourish, that's not how
we thrive. And so with someone who has a tight
grip on their life, they're like, well, I can't. I
(00:22):
can't do this, Carlos, because you don't understand. My life
is too hard. Like if I if I lose grip
of anything that I have, or if I, like, if
I lighten up, or if I try to like get
outside of myself, it's all going to fall apart. Like
how someone who's so caught up in the scarcity mentality
and the fear mentality, how how does one start to
start to chip away at changing that? And I know
(00:43):
this is your book, so okay, let's do this. How
to be Human? How do you chip away at the
old limiting beliefs that do not serve us as humans
and us as a collective. How do we chip away
at these fearful judging Hey, hey, where we actually like
(01:04):
sometimes hate each other and don't even know each other?
How do we how do we shift that mindset and recalibrate?
And I know you talk about that in your book
How to Be Human, But like, what are some like
ways to just start stepping into that? Yeah? Uh, start
looking in the mirror more often than you're looking through
your telescope. Right, So it's like, okay, what is I mean?
I go through it in my book, like what is
(01:25):
the bias I have in my life? Like start asking
you and again this isn't I'm going to tell you
these things. But this isn't easy. I know people are
gonna be like, well, Carlos, that's not easy. I want
something easy. This isn't like like it's not you know,
but it is, um it is. It is going to
be so important to self reflect on exactly who we are.
(01:46):
So like, see your own bias biased me is like
what I don't like or what no bias biases? Is?
Uh something you believe about somebody else that isn't you
based on your own experience without like actually getting to
know So again, for instance, very you know I as
a black guy in the South, right, Like every time
I've been called the N word in the last few years,
(02:07):
you know that I've lived here in very traumatizing experiences, Dave.
It was every single time it was by like an
old white dude with like an American flag on their
bumper sticker or something. And so what what did that
do in me? It created a bias in me towards
old white dudes with life flags with the American flags, right,
And so that is a true bias in me. But
is that true about old dudes, most old dudes with
(02:30):
white American No, Like, that's not that's not true about them.
But it's a bias that was created because of true experiences.
So you know what I've gotta do is I've gotta
look that bias in the face and say, Okay, this
was true about six guys, but it's not true about
the rest of them, and I've got to break that.
I gotta break that. And so I just think if
we start looking at our own biases and we all
have them, I've got them, you've got them, everyone listening
(02:51):
to the podcast has them, and start calling them out,
facing them in the mirror. I think we're gonna start
to deconstruct some of those. But how do you protect yourself?
Because here it is, you've had six experiences with old
white dudes with American flags who called you the N word.
I mean that's something to make yourself want to be
protected against. And I feel like that that can be
Like the issue is like, how do you Yes, there's
(03:12):
a bias, rightly so, but how do we not have it?
How do you not walk into that? Well? You have
to protect you have to protect your I mean, listen,
don't stand on issues. I don't stand an issue. To
walk with people doesn't mean I'm going to place my
mental health uh in a in a in a bad place.
It doesn't mean I'm gonna go like like like, I'm
(03:33):
not going to go find a KKK rally tomorrow and
walk in and go like, hey guys, my name's Carlos.
I'm ready to be your friend, right Like, No, there's
protections that have to place around my my mental health
in order to do this right. So we have to
be smart. There's gonna be people that you're not gonna
be able to walk with. There's gonna be people that
you're not going to be able to stand with. There
there will be, but there will be people that you can.
(03:56):
So again, just because you can't with one person doesn't
mean you throw the baby out with the bathwater. Find
those that you can. There will be ones that you
are able to stomach. Right, me and my best friend
on planet Earth stand on completely opposite sides of the
aisle politically, okay, like vehemently opposite sides, Like we we
really disagree on a lot of important things. Really jacked
us up our friendship. So you know what I said,
(04:17):
We're going to find something to root together with together on.
So we bought Nashville SC Soccer tickets and we go
on when Nashville st Is playing, we go to Joda's Park.
We stand next to each other and we high five
and we scream and we root for Nashville s C.
And what is that doing? We found something that we
can cheer for together and it's healing us. So I'm
(04:40):
walking next to him, I'm walking with him. Walking with
somebody doesn't mean changing their mind on something. It just
means walking with them. So how are we going to
seek this into the heads of the politics, like the
people who are actually running? And I know you have
Sharon Sesso as you are. I don't even know her
real name, but Sharon Sesso who is to be? I like,
don't follow a lot of news or media because I
(05:03):
don't like hearing all of the biased opinions out there.
But Sharon is the one I follow because I feel
like she gives the best factual information across the board
about what is happening in politics. And she knows everything
about history and laws, and you brought your forward, which
is amazing. So like, women, is it like people like
(05:24):
her that is going to just slowly change the higher?
I think? So I think, you know, um, I think
it's who we vote for, right, so like like like
we're actually in charge. So like what if you can't
like what if you can't stand with either one because
you're like that they both have Like that's where I
like this Mark rom Like there's like such downfalls to
(05:46):
like all of it, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, you
know there. I don't think there's gonna be a perfect solution, um,
and there's definitely not a perfect party, you know, but
but you have to I just think if we can
put more passionate, empathetic people that even that may vehemently
disagree with each other. But I mean I look at
that like nineteen eighties, like Tip O'Neil and Ronald Reagan.
(06:09):
Literally the Speaker of the House in the president United States,
vehemently opposing different political parties. Were best friends, like like
their kids called each other uncle's right. Like so it's
like it's possible to humanize each other while you still disagree, right,
And that's the part that we're missing. And so that's
what you're really trying to remind us all that, Like
we don't just have to hate each other, like literally
(06:30):
we can totally agree, but like I feel like that's
what's happened, Like we just hate each other. It's like
we disagree and then it just hate and then not
only just hate us, like that person needs to like
go down, you know. Yeah, that's true, and we can't.
We can't live it that way
So what are we doing right now? Because I feel
like people got into this scared mentality of like, oh
my gosh, I have to hold so tight onto what's
mine and protect mine. And now it's like, that's not
that's not that's not how we flourish, that's not how
we thrive. And so with someone who has a tight
grip on their life, they're like, well, I can't. I
(00:22):
can't do this, Carlos, because you don't understand. My life
is too hard. Like if I if I lose grip
of anything that I have, or if I, like, if
I lighten up, or if I try to like get
outside of myself, it's all going to fall apart. Like
how someone who's so caught up in the scarcity mentality
and the fear mentality, how how does one start to
start to chip away at changing that? And I know
(00:43):
this is your book, so okay, let's do this. How
to be Human? How do you chip away at the
old limiting beliefs that do not serve us as humans
and us as a collective. How do we chip away
at these fearful judging Hey, hey, where we actually like
(01:04):
sometimes hate each other and don't even know each other?
How do we how do we shift that mindset and recalibrate?
And I know you talk about that in your book
How to Be Human, But like, what are some like
ways to just start stepping into that? Yeah? Uh, start
looking in the mirror more often than you're looking through
your telescope. Right, So it's like, okay, what is I mean?
I go through it in my book, like what is
(01:25):
the bias I have in my life? Like start asking
you and again this isn't I'm going to tell you
these things. But this isn't easy. I know people are
gonna be like, well, Carlos, that's not easy. I want
something easy. This isn't like like it's not you know,
but it is, um it is. It is going to
be so important to self reflect on exactly who we are.
(01:46):
So like, see your own bias biased me is like
what I don't like or what no bias biases? Is?
Uh something you believe about somebody else that isn't you
based on your own experience without like actually getting to
know So again, for instance, very you know I as
a black guy in the South, right, Like every time
I've been called the N word in the last few years,
(02:07):
you know that I've lived here in very traumatizing experiences, Dave.
It was every single time it was by like an
old white dude with like an American flag on their
bumper sticker or something. And so what what did that
do in me? It created a bias in me towards
old white dudes with life flags with the American flags, right,
And so that is a true bias in me. But
is that true about old dudes, most old dudes with
(02:30):
white American No, Like, that's not that's not true about them.
But it's a bias that was created because of true experiences.
So you know what I've gotta do is I've gotta
look that bias in the face and say, Okay, this
was true about six guys, but it's not true about
the rest of them, and I've got to break that.
I gotta break that. And so I just think if
we start looking at our own biases and we all
have them, I've got them, you've got them, everyone listening
(02:51):
to the podcast has them, and start calling them out,
facing them in the mirror. I think we're gonna start
to deconstruct some of those. But how do you protect yourself?
Because here it is, you've had six experiences with old
white dudes with American flags who called you the N word.
I mean that's something to make yourself want to be
protected against. And I feel like that that can be
Like the issue is like, how do you Yes, there's
(03:12):
a bias, rightly so, but how do we not have it?
How do you not walk into that? Well? You have
to protect you have to protect your I mean, listen,
don't stand on issues. I don't stand an issue. To
walk with people doesn't mean I'm going to place my
mental health uh in a in a in a bad place.
It doesn't mean I'm gonna go like like like, I'm
(03:33):
not going to go find a KKK rally tomorrow and
walk in and go like, hey guys, my name's Carlos.
I'm ready to be your friend, right Like, No, there's
protections that have to place around my my mental health
in order to do this right. So we have to
be smart. There's gonna be people that you're not gonna
be able to walk with. There's gonna be people that
you're not going to be able to stand with. There
there will be, but there will be people that you can.
(03:56):
So again, just because you can't with one person doesn't
mean you throw the baby out with the bathwater. Find
those that you can. There will be ones that you
are able to stomach. Right, me and my best friend
on planet Earth stand on completely opposite sides of the
aisle politically, okay, like vehemently opposite sides, Like we we
really disagree on a lot of important things. Really jacked
us up our friendship. So you know what I said,
(04:17):
We're going to find something to root together with together on.
So we bought Nashville SC Soccer tickets and we go
on when Nashville st Is playing, we go to Joda's Park.
We stand next to each other and we high five
and we scream and we root for Nashville s C.
And what is that doing? We found something that we
can cheer for together and it's healing us. So I'm
(04:40):
walking next to him, I'm walking with him. Walking with
somebody doesn't mean changing their mind on something. It just
means walking with them. So how are we going to
seek this into the heads of the politics, like the
people who are actually running? And I know you have
Sharon Sesso as you are. I don't even know her
real name, but Sharon Sesso who is to be? I like,
don't follow a lot of news or media because I
(05:03):
don't like hearing all of the biased opinions out there.
But Sharon is the one I follow because I feel
like she gives the best factual information across the board
about what is happening in politics. And she knows everything
about history and laws, and you brought your forward, which
is amazing. So like, women, is it like people like
(05:24):
her that is going to just slowly change the higher?
I think? So I think, you know, um, I think
it's who we vote for, right, so like like like
we're actually in charge. So like what if you can't
like what if you can't stand with either one because
you're like that they both have Like that's where I
like this Mark rom Like there's like such downfalls to
(05:46):
like all of it, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, you
know there. I don't think there's gonna be a perfect solution, um,
and there's definitely not a perfect party, you know, but
but you have to I just think if we can
put more passionate, empathetic people that even that may vehemently
disagree with each other. But I mean I look at
that like nineteen eighties, like Tip O'Neil and Ronald Reagan.
(06:09):
Literally the Speaker of the House in the president United States,
vehemently opposing different political parties. Were best friends, like like
their kids called each other uncle's right. Like so it's
like it's possible to humanize each other while you still disagree, right,
And that's the part that we're missing. And so that's
what you're really trying to remind us all that, Like
we don't just have to hate each other, like literally
(06:30):
we can totally agree, but like I feel like that's
what's happened, Like we just hate each other. It's like
we disagree and then it just hate and then not
only just hate us, like that person needs to like
go down, you know. Yeah, that's true, and we can't.
We can't live it that way
Host
Caroline Hobby
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